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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26385940">- misunderstandings.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/judesrivers/pseuds/judesrivers'>judesrivers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Beatles (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A bit of a size difference, All the docs in this fic are crackheads, Angst, Apologies, Author is forgetful, Awkward reunions, Bottom! Paul McCartney, Completed, Crying, Dom/Sub elements kind of?, First Kisses, Flashbacks, George and Paul’s friendship is the most cutest thing, Humor, I forgot to mention Paul is irresistible, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It’s getting deep, John is protective, M/M, Massive fluff, Mentions of drugs, Modern AU, Multi, Paul is wealthy, Rekindle, Ringo is so innocent and friendly, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, So is Michael even though he’s younger, Warnings on chaps that include abuse!, emotional distress, george is paul’s soulmate, i write this instead of studying, mentions of child abuse, michael is a baby boy, michael is adorable, somewhat enemies to lovers but it’s one sided, this is in 2020 but there’s no corona, we can’t relate though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:13:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>196,996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26385940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/judesrivers/pseuds/judesrivers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael and Paul is put under scrutiny when their father is diagnosed with a fatal disease. Leaving Michael to be watched over by the cute cashier’s, that he met at the store, aunt Mimi.</p><p>Or</p><p>John’s aunt Mimi takes in Paul’s little brother: Michael. Which so happens to lead him into becoming smitten with Michael’s older brother: Paul.</p><p>OR</p><p>— "Shut up, you asshole. That wasn't you riling me up, you was just torturing me." Paul quipped, with his embarrassingly reddened cheeks, dazed eyes, and lastly a prominent erection. </p><p>"It's not my fault that your body is so sensitive to simple touches you big baby." John smirked, only to get a painful thump to the collarbone in return that made him squeak girlishly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Future George Harrison/Ringo Starr, George Harrison &amp; Paul McCartney, John Lennon/Paul McCartney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>287</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. watermelon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yeah, this might just be abandoned like the last idea but it’s been in my head for awhile so!! enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'<em>I'm just thinking out loud.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>I don't know if I could ever go without..</em>
</p>
<p><em>Watermel</em>—'</p>
<p>"Hey! I was listening to that!" Paul had pouted, moving his hand towards his cell to grab at his phone in desperation to continue the song.</p>
<p>George had immediately kicked the elder's phone, far from both his own and Paul's reach. Paul lifted his head up from the floor, and stared despondently at the phone for a couple of seconds, sighing, plopping his back against the floor.</p>
<p>"You've been playing that fucking song for the last hour. On repeat."</p>
<p>Paul took a moment to respond as he closed his eyes, knitting his brows in a frown. George shook his head, ashamed, watching unmoved while Paul folded both of his hands on top of his stomach.</p>
<p>After a minute, George began to turn on his heel to go back to reading, right until Paul spoke up.</p>
<p>"Go and retrieve my phone, bitch." </p>
<p>"Fuck you."</p>
<p>Paul had then suddenly rose up, clutching at his head and mewling in some unknown pain. George's expression softened into a look of concern, causing him to fold his knees and crutch down to Paul's level.</p>
<p>"Hey, you okay?" George softly asked, placing a hand on the back of Paul's head to protectively massage at his scalp.</p>
<p>George knew that Paul would randomly get these migraines, and at times - seizures - due to some head trauma he suffered when he was a youngster. He wouldn't really get into it though, finding it irrelevant, even when teachers would try to convince him that it was completely relevant. Especially if it involves seizures, but Paul brushed it aside countless of times.</p>
<p>The reasons why he thought it was irrelevant had a much more sinister past behind it.</p>
<p>"I'm fine, it's just.." Paul trailed off, he had then bowed his head, sniffling.</p>
<p>George caught on, and immediately pulled the other closer to him. "What's wrong?" The younger questioned, genuinely concerned.</p>
<p>Paul huffed, and shook his head, dramatically placing a trembling hand against his cheek as if he was sobbing. "Watermelon sugar.. high."</p>
<p>George shoved Paul, and they ended up getting in a hour long tickling fight on the hardwood floor in the middle of Paul's room.</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>"You're such a dick." Paul had spat, genuinely fighting out of his father's grip on his forearm. "Get off me you old tramp."</p>
<p>He really hated his father. Reasons-being? You will soon find out.</p>
<p>"I don't care Paul. You will listen to me, now sit."</p>
<p>Paul transitioned to plan B, which mostly worked, whenever they were in a specific place however. He began to hyperventilate, and scream out in sheer horror. "You're hurting me! You're hurting me! Help!" He pleaded at the top of his lungs, big lucid hazel eyes watering on his demand.</p>
<p>"I'm not falling for that again Paul."</p>
<p>Paul quieted down, and squinted his eyes at his presumedly tired father. 'Worth a shot,' he thought to himself, lowering his gaze to the floor in irritation.</p>
<p>"Mm, now sit."</p>
<p>"I'm not a fucking dog." Paul ripped his arm away, using all the strength he could conjure up under the heat of a couple seconds.</p>
<p>This time, Jim did not grab at his son's arm again, instead he raised both of his hands up in surrender.</p>
<p>"What the fuck did you call me here for? Unless it has something to do with Michael, I don't want anything to do with you."</p>
<p>Jim had rolled his eyes, and placed his hands into his pockets. "It does have something to do with your brother, and it's very important. I need you to sit and listen closely."</p>
<p>"Screw you."</p>
<p>Jim's face hardened when Paul swallowed down the rest of the heated interaction with a laser cut glare. Jim felt his throat burn with an upcoming tirade of degrading words to say, a new way to bring Paul pain after a couple of other times in the past. The old man watched helplessly as Paul made a beeline towards the front door, his mind racing on whether he should just blurt out what could have been civilly said. Only if his fucking son could cooperate, but at the same time, it wasn't Paul's fault for not doing so.</p>
<p>"Paul for fucksakes, I have a bloody tumor in my heart!" Jim said firmly, his voice shaking and his form becoming haunched over in exhaustion just from the confession alone. Fuck - he thought that he wouldn't of had it in him to speak it out loud.</p>
<p>To Jim's advantage, Paul had froze in his tracks, his hand already wrapped around the door knob from his attempt to leave.</p>
<p>"Can you please just come here and.. sit down son, please."</p>
<p>Paul stayed in the same position at the door for approximately sixteen very, very - slow seconds. The sight made Jim exhale, parting his lips to say more to the boy, to beg for him to take a fucking seat.</p>
<p>Until, finally, he let go of the doorknob and turned his front towards his ill father.</p>
<p>The man had then sauntered over towards him, lips formed into a straightened line, eyes narrowed to the floor.</p>
<p>Jim watched distantly, somewhat relieved for he first time in a while when his eldest son reached his hand out, and pulled out the chair from underneath the table.</p>
<p>One time, after four years, Paul had finally obeyed one of his father's commands, and sat down. Instead of Jim initiating an actual explanation, Paul managed to force out some words. "What the hell are you on old man? Is this some kind of fucking joke?"</p>
<p>Jim recoiled, drawing back, hurt and disgusted from the accusation. "A joke? No! Really James? Do you think that fucking low of me?" He asked, placing a hand dramatically over his chest as he searched his son's face. Paul had only looked away, an unreadable expression secured on his face. "I'm truly hurt right now. I can not believe that you'd think that."</p>
<p>"Listen here pops," Paul clicked his tongue, raising a brow as he leaned forward in his seat. "I listened to you, and sat my ass down here in this chair. I honestly, seriously, don't give a fuck if you're 'hurt' or not. I'm wasting my time here, waiting for your old ass to cut to the fucking chase already about this tumor shit you're going on about." Paul pauses to check his watch, his eyes rolling in annoyance from how long he had been here. "Michael comes back from school at two, and it's one-forty now. So I suggest you hurry up."</p>
<p>Visibly holding back the urge to punch the shit out of his son - especially after he presented that shit eating smirk that appeared when he knew he pressed Jim's buttons, the older man had cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"Woke up in the middle of the night last week with some chest pains. I felt out of it. Sick, dizzy and out of breath."</p>
<p>"Yeah?" Paul's voice had hitched condescendingly, and he leaned back to cross his leg over the other. "Go on, go on, and what happened next big boy?"</p>
<p>"You make me fucking sick."</p>
<p>Paul's jaw had clenched at the comment, "Oh believe me when I say the feelings are fucking mutual."</p>
<p>"Anyway I was diagnosed yesterday, and I need to be admitted in as soon as tonight."</p>
<p>Paul snorted, the realization of how bad this blow could be making him lose control. "Why don't you just die here? What else do you have to live for anyway?"</p>
<p>Soon enough, Paul's back had suddenly collided with the hard wall. One of his father's hands balling the collar of his shirt into tightened fist as they pressed harshly against his collarbones, and the other hand placed tightly against his mouth. Jim leveled his face with Paul's, a position all too familiar for the both of them, but Paul always seemed to be afraid each and every time.</p>
<p>"Listen here, you little bitch. I already took a lot of shit from you this evening, but this is the last straw. I'm fucking dying, alright? I don't give a shit about what you think about it, but your brother is the main focus. He already lost his mother, and now he's about to lose me."</p>
<p>Paul glared threateningly at his father, his eyebrows furrowed and face flushed with anger while the large sweaty hand on his face began to tighten its grip.</p>
<p>"I'm not about to have him live with you, especially since you haven't taken care of that headache and seizure shit you have. I was going to tell you, if you wanted to visit him, you can go to Elizabeth's house 251 Menlove Avenue."</p>
<p>'<em>What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck</em>?' Had been the main thing circulating through Paul's head as he drank in the information. When Jim finally dropped him, and removed all grips away from the boy, Paul had immediately pounced back onto him.</p>
<p>"Who the fuck is Elizabeth? Why isn't he living with me? Secondly, I take medication and you know that shit! It's not like it's my fucking fault that I have seizures!" Paul shouted, hot anger shooting through his veins like it was dope. "You're going to trust some stranger over his own brother? Hell! I am more of a father to him than you currently are while you're still fucking breathing!"</p>
<p>It was Jim's turn to face away from Paul, and begin to walk away from the situation.</p>
<p>"That's not even- wait a fucking minute, get back here you old shit! You can't just fucking do that!"</p>
<p>•••</p>
<p>George, his friend Richard, and Paul all sat in Richard's three year old van in front of Michael's primary school. Billie Eilish singlehandedly replacing the intensity in the air with 'bad guy' and the sounds of Richard eating a burrito from Chipotle.</p>
<p>"Thanks for being our taxi Rings." George said, breaking the twenty minute silence between them all after he sipped on his sprite. "Wait, hey, I just remembered I didn't even introduce you to Paul yet."</p>
<p>"Hm? Oh, no problem Geo. And hey Paul, what's up mate?" Richard greeted, a friendly tone to his voice as he licked his sauce covered fingers.</p>
<p>Paul hadn't replied though, not intentionally, he wasn't being rude, for the most part. He was just intently searching the crowd of kids until he could spot his seven year old brother, they had a lot to talk about over the day.</p>
<p><em>Fuck</em>.</p>
<p>George hummed at the lack of awareness from Paul, and turnt his body towards Richard who awkwardly tried to play off being openly ignored by McCartney. "So uh, can I make you a playlist? Spotify or Apple music?" George asked, grasping at Richard's phone and handing it to the older for a silent request to gift him the password.</p>
<p>"I use both."</p>
<p>As the two continued, Paul had finally spotted his younger brother and immediately opened the vehicle door to step out.</p>
<p>Paul faked a smile, waving his arm to greet a rather despondent looking Michael, Paul definitely wasn't about to let that go unnoticed. Once Michael had finally caught Paul's now-tired arm, his face lit up and he immediately sprinted towards his older brother in excitement. He always loved it when Paul picked him up from school, especially with George, it would double the fun of being out of school, and it would also mean ice cream day.</p>
<p>"Mickie! Mickie! Mickie!" Michael chanted, quickly closing in the distance between him and his older brother as he ran towards him.</p>
<p>"Bubba! Bubba! Bubba!" Paul chanted as well, squatting down with his arms wide opened for his younger brother.</p>
<p>Their nickname chants had deceased when Michael finally had his little arms wrapped around Paul's neck, squealing in delight when he felt his small body become lifted off of the ground when the older boy picked him up.</p>
<p>"How was my little bubba huh?" Paul asked as he squeezed Michael tight against him, tickling his sides a bit which caused the baby boy to laugh and squirm in his grip. "Why'd you look so sad, hm?"</p>
<p>Michael immediately stopped laughing, his bottom lip poking out as he looked down, playing with the little hang nail on his index finger. "I got to tell you at your place Mickie, it was really scary." He pouted, looking up into Paul's concerned eyes innocently.</p>
<p>"Ah, hey there my little John Wick." George said, twisting his body around to fist bump Michael as Paul buckled him up sloppily, since there wasn't a car seat in Richard's van. "Stay buckled in, we're not trying to get tapped by the coppers, okay bud?"</p>
<p>"Okay, Willy Wonka." Michael beamed, his mood entirely unrecognizable from the sad expression he had earlier.</p>
<p>"Hey little guy, my name is Richard." Richard excitedly, his face lighting up at the sight of a kid, he loved kids - wanting hundreds of them whenever he has the time and patience to.</p>
<p>"Hi." Michael shyly replied, causing George to chuckle at the both of them.</p>
<p>Paul clambered into the van, closing the door and buckling himself in. Afterwards, he slung a protective arm around Michael's shoulder to pull him in close. "Baskin Robbins, if you will, Richard. Bubba and I usually get ice cream whenever I pick him up from school."</p>
<p>"I can go anywhere you want me to." Richard replied, smiling gracefully as he started the vehicle, beginning to pull out of the school zoned area.</p>
<p>•••</p>
<p>George entered Paul's house first, arms stretching over his head as he yawned. Richard quietly trailed behind him, ice cream in his hand as he looked around the big house which was greatly established. Cute little decorations everywhere, paintings and what-not, it was cute, simple, welcoming.</p>
<p>Paul carried Michael on one arm, and his backpack on the other as he sauntered in with them both singing at the top of their lungs. "Watermelon sugar high! Watermelon sugar high!" They shouted, harmonizing somewhat pleasantly. It was not horrible since Paul secretly was an amazingly beautiful singer, he just didn't like compliments because it made his face heat up too much, so he'd put on an act as if he couldn't sing.</p>
<p>"I just want to taste it, I just want to taste it, watermelon sugar high!" Michael continued to sing when Paul had placed him down to the floor.</p>
<p>Paul watched him, amused, and entertained as Michael continued to sing the lyrics at the top of his lungs until he couldn't spawn more from his memory. Untimely, Paul had to question him about the sudden mood that had enraptured Michael earlier when he picked him up.</p>
<p>So as the kid ate his ice cream in the spacious kitchen, adorably humming the tune to Harry Styles' hit song that just couldn't seem to get out of the McCartney's heads - Paul approached him and sat next to him. "Hey, bubba, weren't you going to tell me about what happened earlier?"</p>
<p>Michael suddenly stopped humming, and his optimistic facial expression seemed to have dropped immediately. "I um- okay." Michael exhaled shakily, which had made Paul's heart sink from how deflated his baby brother had sounded. "The counselor called me in his office and.. he was acting all weird, talking about papa. He said papa might not be able to take care of me anymore."</p>
<p>Holy shit.</p>
<p>Paul's head started to hurt. No, no, no, keep it together Paul. Don't let it get to you. Prove to your dad you can do this, you can take care of your little brother.</p>
<p>"Oh, what else did he say?"</p>
<p>Michael played anxiously at his ice cream. "He introduced me to this old lady, and this other dude that looked mean, he looked about your age Mickie. He said they would take care of me if something ever happened to papa."</p>
<p>"So that old lady must be Elizabeth." Paul murmured to himself, connecting some context clues together out of  thin air.</p>
<p>"What?" Michael frowned, "How'd you know her name?"</p>
<p>Paul stared at nothing in particular, zoning out unintentionally as he felt himself slipping away from reality. He needed to get George down here, and fast.</p>
<p>"It was a guess, you know Elizabeth is kind of a relative name around Liverpool."</p>
<p>Michael tilted his head to the side, confusion painting his facial features. "What does relative mean?" He asked, his voice soft and innocent.</p>
<p>"Nothing bubba, we'll talk more about this later.  Just go ahead and eat so we can get started on the homework."</p>
<p>Paul and Michael shared looks after that sentence, and after a couple of silent seconds they broke into simultaneous smiles. "Yuck."</p>
<p>“Want to just ditch it and watch the avengers?" Paul asked, a childish gleam in his own eyes.</p>
<p>Michael had got excited in only tenths of a few seconds. "Yeah! I want to see Spiderman!"</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. sugar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw // seizures</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You know what to do." Paul reminded George after locking the door, hurriedly making his way towards the center of the room.</p>
<p>Paul had texted him that he was experiencing mild symptoms earlier while he was talking to Michael, and it caused George to quickly direct Richard into the living room with Michael. Hopefully, they already started the avengers movie which is loud enough to block out the noise and long enough to keep them distracted.</p>
<p>As Paul began to remove all appliances that were sharp or had a potentially dangerous outcome away from his body, he felt his mind was tapping in and out. One arm was consistently jerking, not even from his control, fuck things like this freaked him out so bad.</p>
<p>George hated it, every second of it, but being Paul's best friend and practically his soulmate - he dealt with it. He approached Paul, telling him to immediately lay down on his left side right upon the floor. "Alright, I got you okay?" George reassured, especially when Paul began to tremble from dread of the upcoming episode.</p>
<p>The younger removed his phone from his pocket, and clicked into the time app, opening up the stopwatch. "Just relax, okay? If it gets really bad, just know that it will all be over soon."</p>
<p>"Okay," Paul replied, his eyes slowly fading into some type of grey haze as he stared at nothing.</p>
<p>George leaned down to place a comforting kiss on the side of Paul's head, and then backed away, watching closely as his convulsions began.</p>
<p>When it really had began, George knelt down to keep by as he turned on the stopwatch.</p>
<p>It was extremely unsettling to see, upsetting and unnatural all at once. For all the years George had known Paul, he would never get over the fact that he is now extremely prone to seizures because of how many times his head has gone through traumatic experiences.</p>
<p>And then people ask why Paul hates his father so fucking much.</p>
<p>George hates that old piece of shit too, maybe even much more than Paul does - and whatever bad shit he gets in the future, he deserves it.</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>- - <em>paul had another episode for approximately five minutes and fifty three seconds, it died down within the last forty five seconds. some limbs are still twitching, and he has a bit of clear foam dripping from the side of his mouth due to his mouth being forced closed. paul is currently in a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably, again.</em></p>
<p>George put on 'Watermelon Sugar' after typing out that note. It was something he had always did whenever Paul has seizures and placed his phone on the nightstand.</p>
<p>"Paul? Love, can I touch you? Is it okay if I touch you?"</p>
<p>Paul's teeth chattered, hiccups racking up his form as he attempted to nod. He seemed well aware of his surroundings, he always did, it would take him at least another three or more hours to fully gather himself. George kneeled down next to him, placing a gentle hand on his backside, rubbing his mid back in soothing circles. "Can I hold you? Or do you want to stay down there?"</p>
<p>Paul had thought it over and over, and over, <em>and over</em>, then he began to hyperventilate.</p>
<p>George took action, wanting to keep Paul as calm as he could. This one in particular seemed to be one of the bad ones where he's in confusion, but aware of what's going on. So he brung out the pet names they'd only call each other when vulnerability is the topic. "Shh, calm down baby, you can stay down there if you want to, I won't be mad. You're safe."</p>
<p>Paul huffed, feeling as if he couldn't breathe and swallowed down on nothing. He moved his lips to try and form words, but for the life of him he couldn't get anything out so he just whimpered.</p>
<p>"Want me to go get some water?"</p>
<p>"Mm mm," Paul managed out, shaking his head quickly. He wanted George to stay with him.</p>
<p>"How's your head love?"</p>
<p>Paul had only tiredly shrugged in response, feeling numb all over.</p>
<p>It took forty-eight minutes to an hour for George to get Paul sitting up, sweet talking him as if they were lovers, it honestly didn't even matter to them. They had the type of relationship where they could be entirely opened with each other, whether to others it'd be homoerotic or just straight up gay.</p>
<p>After a couple of minutes on the floor, both of them doing nothing but clutching onto each other in silence. Paul was the one to crack the first joke, "Was I slobbering this time? Don't lie to me either." He laughed, as he stripped off his shirt, he always hated staying in the clothes he had a seizure in.</p>
<p>George took a minute to respond as he walked over to the walk-in closet, seeking for a top so Paul could wear it.</p>
<p>Paul rubbed his teary eyes, and wiped his mouth in somewhat disgust at what just occurred. Fuck, he would <em>never</em> get used to this. He wish he was twelve again, but living with a different family.</p>
<p>George came back out of the closet, and held up a hoodie that was too large for both of them to wear, he'd think Paul would look cute in it. "Not as much, it seemed like a medium leveled one. Wasn't heavy, but you were still shaken up by the last three minutes." George replied, feeling a bit bad that Paul had to go through this. "Wear this hoodie, you'd look adorable in it."</p>
<p>Paul's face became flustered, a gentle blush creeping up his cheeks at the suggestion. "You're an idiot."</p>
<p>"Fine, I'll wear it myself."</p>
<p>"Hey!" Paul had pouted, marching over towards the younger man. "I'll wear it."</p>
<p>•••</p>
<p>"Hey, there you guys are." Richard said, turning away from the action scene on the television. It was Captain America fighting some villain or some shit, who knew.</p>
<p>"Hi uh, sorry I kind of ignored you earlier. My name is Paul, or something. You can call me anything."</p>
<p>George smiled at the dumb introduction, slinging an arm around Paul's shoulders as he giggled to himself from his best friend's idiocy.</p>
<p>Richard smiled at the pretty boy, nodding his head and shrugging it off. "It's alright, I knew you were busy." He replied, and gosh Paul loved him already.</p>
<p>"I call him Mickie." Michael intervened, looking over at his older brother. "I gave Richard a nickname guys, you can call him Ringo."</p>
<p>"You're a creative muppet." George complimented the seven year old, and it earned him a shy giggle in return that all three of the men found absolutely adorable.</p>
<p>They watched the rest of the Marvel movie together, and then ordered pizza a bit afterwards to make sure Michael was well fed for the rest of the night. He even took a miniature container with him that could hold about four slices for the future, Paul didn't trust his father feeding him. He did not trust his father around Michael at all. That is why Michael would mainly be staying with him, and George.</p>
<p>He still couldn't believe that his father somehow granted a fucking stranger custody of his own brother. Paul was stable enough to take care of Michael, was he? He took medication for his illness, and it's not like he was born with it. Which was another reason why Paul did not want the younger boy around him.</p>
<p>Paul tried not to stress about it, feeling his head begin to swell with another migraine from the thought.</p>
<p>"Paul, I don't want to go home." Michael softly said when his brother began to strap him in his car seat.</p>
<p>Paul frowned, and buckled the last belt he could before giving all his attention to the younger lad. "Why? Isn't home fun, you know with your papa?" He asked, feeling some garlic taste in his mouth at the fact that both of them have to share this inhuman person of a father.</p>
<p>"He's nice, but it's not the same without you."</p>
<p>Paul sighed, and lifted his hand up to cup at the little boy's cheek. "Hey, you're going to see me more lately. I'm practically am going to be your dad now."</p>
<p>Michael's smile was bright, and breathtaking. "Really?" He asked excitedly, happiness coated in his high pitched voice.</p>
<p>"Yeah really." Paul smiled, "Just one more night at Jim's house and you'll be set."</p>
<p>•••</p>
<p>"Oh my fucking- no, no, no." George covered his ears, letting go of the shopping cart as the tune of 'Watermelon sugar' began to roll trough the aisles at a ridiculously obnoxious volume.</p>
<p>"Yeah! Taste like strawberries!" Paul immediately sung along, blaring his own singing voice unkindly in George's face as the younger man tried to run away from the simultaneously loud Paul McCartney.</p>
<p>"You're so fucking annoying, please, go away. I'm trying to buy us food." George huffed, pushing Paul away from him with a small smile on his face from the older's antics. Sometimes he felt as if he was older, just from the way Paul would act sometimes. Which was a good thing.</p>
<p>"You basically live with me now." Paul said, even though it was obvious, George kind of became his caretaker and it was just something that was not talked about. Why should it be? It was obvious that they were basically roommates.</p>
<p>"I mean, my parents really don't care where I'm at lately. As long as I say that I'm with you."</p>
<p>Paul merely smiled at that, before tossing a bagged loaf of bread at George's face. He already knew how much George's parents adored him, since Paul would always run away to George's house whenever shit got hectic back at the McCartney's palace. They always had a close bond with each other, it was unbendable.</p>
<p>Paul and George were inseparable.</p>
<p>Until.</p>
<p>"Holy shit, where did you find these? When I would come here and not work, I could never find this spray. My aunt would kill me." John Lennon, the new cashier, was ranting all about some glass cleaner that he couldn't find for the life of him.</p>
<p>Paul impatiently tapped his fingers against the checkout counter, frantically searching for George, that left to go and find some snacks, who also decided that he was paying. Once again, without his knowledge he was ignoring a total stranger, gosh that was habit he needed to get rid of.</p>
<p>John looked up from glass cleaner, and that was the first time he officially landed his eyes on the man. What the fuck? He was absolutely stunning, and flawlessly gorgeous. "Oh shit." John said to himself, feeling his insides turn into some type of pudding.</p>
<p>Paul sighed, removing his gaze from elsewhere in which he hoped George would return, instead he looked back at the cashier. Once their eyes locked, John immediately looked away and continued to scan the rest of their items. Paul furrowed his eyebrows, and made a face that resembled curiosity.</p>
<p>"Hey uh, did you say something? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I was looking for my friend." Paul said, his voice soft and welcoming which caused John to become even more whipped.</p>
<p>"Yeah I was talking about the spray thing. Um, where'd you find it?"</p>
<p>Paul perked up, and turned around to point towards a single aisle down the to far left corner of the store. "Down there, in the middle of that last aisle in the left corner." He replied, turning back towards the other man with a sweet smile. "Hope I helped."</p>
<p>"You did. A lot. What's your name?" John felt bold, the more he conversed with this lad, the more fucked up he was becoming.</p>
<p>"Oh my name is-"</p>
<p>George bumped into the older, snacks pouring out of his arms into the sliding belt. "Alrighty there Paulie, I got your favorites, I got my favorites. Ring em up mate."</p>
<p>John gave George a look before he began to scan the snacks, along with the rest of the items he had yet to scan. The nasty look didn't go unnoticed from George, but he decided to not act like a privileged old woman and complain to the manager about it.</p>
<p>"Fuck, I really don't want to go to my dad's house today." Paul suddenly said to George, making conversation after it was quiet for awhile.</p>
<p>"Why do you have to?"</p>
<p>"I have to tell you the whole thing later, but believe me when I tell you, it's bullshit."</p>
<p>John tapped some buttons on the register, and cleared his throat, "Your total is fifty-eight dollars and sixty-two cents." He said, trying his best to not stutter from the exquisite beauty that stood right in front of him.</p>
<p>"Gah- what the!" George leaned over the counter to take a look at the total himself. "Who the fuck raised the prices on this? We didn't even buy much!"</p>
<p>"George, if you don't have enough, I can pay." Paul said, an amused smile on his face as he reached into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet.</p>
<p>"Fine, but I'd have to pay you back a little ways later." George hesitantly replied, feeling embarrassed that Paul would have to take out his own money for the two, again.</p>
<p>Even though The McCartney's were extremely wealthy, which probably catered to all the family issues, George always hated when Paul would deal with the finance himself.</p>
<p>Before Paul could swipe his full, dark green bank card against the card reader, John immediately barged in on the idea of Paul paying for their stuff. If anything, everyone should be giving up their wallets just from the fact that he associated with the likes of the peasants like himself, and others. He wanted to suddenly buy everything Paul wanted, down to the underwear and socks. Fuck - this young man was just too gorgeous to him, and the way he caught John's eye was inescapable.</p>
<p>"Hey I'll let you blokes just take it. Just don't tell anyone I did so, I just got this job."</p>
<p>George and Paul had the same expression on their faces, however after a few seconds Paul's expression molded into a look of pleasant surprise and George's expression molded into suspicion. The younger of the trio leaned in, his bushy eyebrows furrowed and a small snarl on his face. "You mean, you want us to steal all of this stuff?" He asked, puzzled and angry.</p>
<p>John had chuckled, and brung his hand up to scratch at the bridge of his nose. 'The fuck is this guy's problem?' He thought to himself, keeping his composure in for the sake of his future with the bloke whose name was Paulie or Paul, and his job.</p>
<p>"It's not really stealing," John began, and then paused to think up an excuse. "You're just briefly embezzling, don't think of it as stealing."</p>
<p>"What the fuck? That's <em>exactly</em> what stealing is."</p>
<p>Paul shoved all the merchandise in a paper bag, wanting to keep away from plastics at the moment. "Yeah, we've got a line behind us. I don't want to hold anyone else up. So I'll gladly just take up that offer and leave, right Georgie?"</p>
<p>John smiled. George raised a brow, and pointed his finger at the older cashier. "What Paul? You're really about to just-" George had cut himself off, especially from the silently demanding look Paul was giving him from the other end. Not wanting to put much pressure on the older man, he nodded and bagged the rest of their stuff as well.</p>
<p>John clicked his tongue, trying to desperately hide the blossoming smile on his face. 'Well that's one way to shut him up' he thought to himself, as he watched Paul set the bags in the carriage they were using.</p>
<p>"You're going to let all the other customers go through too right?" Paul had suddenly questioned when he witnessed John beginning to scan an elder lady's merchandise. "It'd be fair if you did it to everyone else, and gave them that privilege."</p>
<p>John felt his heart swoon more at the selflessness of the younger lad. "You're right Paul, that would be fair." With that, John turnt around to face the long line in front of him. "Hello shoppers! If you are in my line, then you absolutely do not have to pay for your stuff!"</p>
<p>At an instant, anyone from the other register aisles suddenly began to cross over to John's.</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>"That bloke was weird." George suddenly brought up, placing all the food they bought into the cabinets, the refrigerator, and into any containers.</p>
<p>Paul snickered, shoulders shaking as he lowered his head to laugh into his hand.</p>
<p>"I'm sure he's going to jail for that." George added on, closing the cabinet doors and then leaning on the countertop with his arms crossed. "I swear we meet the most interesting people everyday. It's inescapable in England at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if we ran into the queen."</p>
<p>Paul threw his head back, genuine laughter filling the kitchen which made George smile. After a few seconds, Paul took out the orange juice from the paper bag and ran his fingers along the cap of it. "Stop it Georgie," He said, a faint smile on his face as he drew invisible circles on it with the tip of his fingers. "He was cute."</p>
<p>"Cute?" George cringed, stepping forward to swipe the cursed orange juice away from the older one. "No way Paul, he looks like he beats up kids at Chuck e. Cheese for not going down the slide fast enough."</p>
<p>Paul had giggled again, a soft blush formulating on his cheeks just because he knew how George overly protective his best friend was. He just loved fucking with him. "Why're you so mean? He was nice enough to let us get all of this for free."</p>
<p>George scratched at his chin, and stared longingly at Paul as if he was trying to get into the man's head, seeking some type of explanation as to why he was naive. "Remember the last person you thought was cute? How they just basically left you when-"</p>
<p>Paul shushed him, holding up his phone which has the caller ID of 'The asshole that got my mom pregnant,' something fitting.</p>
<p>George rolled his eyes, and held out his hand as if he was telling Paul to give him his phone. Just to see what would happen, Paul obeyed and gave George his device before ducking away to put the rest of the refrigerated food away.</p>
<p>George clicked the green answer button, and put the phone on speaker, setting it on the countertop island in the middle of the kitchen. "What is it you pig?"</p>
<p>"Who is th- wait.. is that you Harrison?"</p>
<p>"What are you calling Paul for?" George short straight to the point, his voice having a low growl sheltered in it to intimidate anyone who didn't know him. It worked, brilliantly, every time.</p>
<p>"He's my son."</p>
<p>Paul had rolled his eyes, shoving the carton of eggs into the corner of the fridge.</p>
<p>"And? You didn't act like he was your son years ago."</p>
<p>"Fuck you. Tell Paul to pick up Michael, and take him to Elizabeth's."</p>
<p>George furrowed his eyebrows, and looked over at Paul in confusion, soon enough he silently mouthed the words. "What is he talking about?"</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. high</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>working on chap 4 rn omg look at me being proactive for once</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"He's got a fucking heart tumor, and instead of leaving Michael to live with me. He wants him to live with two dip shits that I don't even know about." Paul spat, stirring the wheel of his car as he swerved from lane to lane, speeding angrily to his father's house.</p><p>Ringo who was placed in the backseat, lost as ever to the situation, only gaped at the thought. How coincidental it seemed that he was on his way to Subway, but he found George and Paul speeding by him to a stop. Now he might end up getting arrested for being in a speeding car, driving recklessly to Paul's father's house.</p><p>"That old dirtbag. What the fuck is wrong with him?" George had scowled, his arms crossing over his chest angrily at the thought of how messed up this situation was. Paul didn't deserve this, nor did Michael.</p><p>"And did he just call us from the hospital?" Paul asked, eyes widening in realization at the fact that he might've left Michael alone, a fucking seven year old, alone in a big house.</p><p>Fuck, his head was starting to hurt again.</p><p>••</p><p>"Michael? Bubba?" Paul called out, with George and Ringo trailing behind him in search for the younger lad. Paul was annoyed, irritated and very much saddened all over by the turn of events. Fuck he wished he had more control over things, it really makes him sick how he does not.</p><p>"Paul!" Michael immediately called out, his voice all breathy and wet with tears. The tapping of his small feet against the wide floor filled the isolated home as he sprinted towards the three men that now stood in the living room.</p><p>Paul's heart plummeted as he crouched down to greet his younger brother, who was balling uncontrollably at his feet. "Woah, woah - what happened? What's wrong?" Paul asked, as George and Ringo surrounded the two in deep concern.</p><p>"Daddy left me alone since earlier this morning." He sniffled, eyes watering as he remembered the cold way his father abandoned him for hours on end. "I was- I was so scared. I don't like being by myself and I didn't know whether to call anybody or not."</p><p>"Oh man." Ringo sighed, reaching down to ruffle at the kid's hair, feeling genuinely disappointed at the way he was treated throughout the last couple of hours. </p><p>George felt his insides burn in fury, as well as Paul's. The raven haired man pulled his little brother into his chest, hugging him tight as Michael cried breathlessly into his shoulder, holding onto Paul tightly with his little arms. Paul could feel him trembling in his arms, reminding him of his own self when he was Michael's age.</p><p>George folded Michael's clothes neatly into the suitcase, wanting to make sure space awaits every single clothing that he could manage into the luggage - which was essentially large enough to fit a wardrobe.</p><p>Michael placed his marvel figurines into his old backpack that he used for the year before this one. He had a pout on his face, still very upset from being left alone, and it was very noticeable by both Paul and Ringo who stood talking in the corner.</p><p>"I hope he gets over this soon. Being left alone as a child is scary, especially without an explanation." Ringo had mumbled empathetically, he made sure to keephis voice lowered so he wouldn't gather the attention of Michael.</p><p>"What I don't understand is how he could do that, and then make it seem like going with a total stranger is safer than him going with me. Did you know he blamed it on my illness? Like it was my fault that I have it?" Paul queried, voice in a hissing whisper that penetrated Ringo's ears venomously. The younger man was angry, understandably. He cared a lot about his younger brother to the point where he'd kill over him.</p><p>It had always been that way since Michael was a baby, and Paul was twelve years old. Michael, Paul and their mother who was always plagued with work, along with illnesses of her own that she never shared for some reason.</p><p>Ringo had shamefully shook his head, his own dislike mounting up against Paul's father. Even when he didn't know Paul as much, he already felt as if he could comfort the man throughout the family issues that he was obviously going through. Nobody deserves to go through this.</p><p>"I wish I can help in some way."</p><p>Paul exhaled at that, pursing his lips so they made a bubbling 'ppp' sound as he let out the breath. "Don't wish that burden on yourself. Believe me, it's stressful." He said, before letting a sad smile form on his face. "But thanks anyway."</p><p>Meanwhile George helped Michael pack up the rest of his sacred things, gently talking to him, sharing encouraging words throughout the process. Michael would only reply with a small smile and nods, laughing whenever George did just because he felt like he had to. Soon enough they both approached the two other men with bags in their hands.</p><p>"Alright, we're ready, lets go."</p><p>Eventually, Paul was strapping Michael in his car seat. Mind set on whether he should just 'kidnap' Michael and run away so they could live in peace, just to get arrested little ways afterwards, never seeing him again. Or he could drop him off at Elizabeth's house, someone he doesn't know at fucking all, never heard of, who could possibly doom Michael's childhood.</p><p>Paul briefly decided on the first option for a few seconds, until he fortunately decided on being logical.</p><p>The drive to Menlove was silent. George kept glancing over at both Paul, then back at Michael as the two seemed to be holding the same blank facial expressions. For everyone's safety, George opted to drive, taking blunt directions from Paul who sat in the passengers seat.</p><p>"Mickie, can you play watermelon sugar?"</p><p>"Sure bud."</p><p>•••</p><p>When Elizabeth did open her door, the fumes of cleaning products was the first thing Paul smelt and it made him cringe physically. Michael turned away from the woman, face buried into Paul's neck as he shuddered in fear from the sight of the old woman. Paul had felt Michael's grip suddenly tighten around his neck. It had seemedas if he didn't want to be put down.</p><p>Paul understood completely, but he wanted this to go as smoothly as it could. Just to save him and Michael the trouble.</p><p>"You must be Michael's father." Elizabeth assumed sarcastically, especially from the way the younger man glared at her with some type of conflict brewing inside of his head.</p><p>"No, I'm his older brother."</p><p>Elizabeth observed him, and then glanced up at the car parked against her curve. Two individuals, George and Ringo, occupying the inside of it. It made her roll her eyes, reminiscing of the time a police car pulled up to her home for no reason in particular. Just from the quick observation, she could tell that they were from the snobby side, and from the annoyed expression on Paul's face - she figured he was rude. Unlike his father, a nice gentleman that she worked along with.</p><p>"Do come in, McCartney. Take your shoes off on the way in." She said, stepping aside with the door opened for their entry.</p><p>"Look lady, I just want to hurry up, drop him off, and get his stuff all unpacked. My friends are waiting in the car as we speak right now. I'm not trying to get comfortable." As Paul spoke, he felt Michael's grip tighten desperately and his little breaths quicken in fear.</p><p>Elizabeth stared, deadpanned, and then she huffed out a bitter laugh. "Your father told me you'd be like that. He also said you're too neurotic to take care of your little brother." She spat, voice flat and cooled which made Paul's blood run cold through his veins.</p><p>Paul clutched onto Michael, feeling numb and highly offended. "You know what? Fuck you, you old cunt."</p><p>Elizabeth's eyes went sharp at that.</p><p>Michael suddenly gasped, not at all exposed to such vulgar language used by his brother instead of his father.</p><p>"See? Perfect example." Elizabeth said, her voice managing to stay in shape even though she felt as if snapping her own self. "Take your shoes off, and come in, this is the second time I'm saying this."</p><p>When Paul and Michael did come in, sock-footed however, with another sock-footed George and Ringo by their side. Much to Elizabeth's annoyance. They all looked around the suburban home, it was not as big as Michael's last living establishment, but also not as mentally scarring. It was tidy, and it smelt like fucking lemon. It made Paul's ongoing headache worsen immensely.</p><p>"Follow me gentlemen." Elizabeth ordered with a firm voice that made Ringo comically jump, afterwards she gently grasped onto Michael's small hand to lead him throughout the home.</p><p>Paul followed behind, him and George holding hands, their fingers interlaced with each other since the younger of the two noticed how uncontrollably Paul was shaking.</p><p>It made Elizabeth side eye them skeptically at one point, only for George to scowl back at her in return.</p><p>"This is the downstairs loo, it's a half loo, no shower or anything. Just for urinating and for stools." Elizabeth told the youngling, although her greeting was a bit harsh to each of them, the way she talked to Michael was motherly. Something Michael didn't get to actually go through since he was at least two when his own mother died.</p><p>Paul, however, honestly felt unmoved. Continuously growing more angrier as Elizabeth guided them through more rooms.</p><p>"Here's the kitchen, food is always in here, so no worries. Although, if there is leftovers that you really like you should put your name on it. My nephew is a human vacuum cleaner."</p><p>Michael nodded, his eyes looking over at the pot that was on the stove, an aroma of food seeping from underneath the little crevices of the lid that made him recoil back in disgust.</p><p>Meanwhile, Paul got even more enraged at the fact that there will be two strangers around his baby brother. At this fucking point, George was basically glued to his side, not knowing whether Paul would pass out into a convulsion in the middle of this tour.</p><p>"The pantry, if days are swell, there will be lots of snacks in here."</p><p>"Miss Elizabeth, can I use the loo?" Michael suddenly asked, his voice soft and trembling.</p><p>"You can just call me Mimi, and of course son."</p><p>Michael gave her a polite smile before trotting towards the loo that they passed by, opening the door and closing it as soon as he stepped inside.</p><p>Elizabeth had then turned towards the remaining three, and cleared her throat. "My nephew will be coming home at any moment. Would you all like some casserole? It's on the stove right now."</p><p>"We literally just seen it." George condescendingly said, squinting his eyes at her with a promising look of threats.</p><p>"Who's your nephew, and how old is he?" Paul interrogated, already disagreeing with everything that had transpired in the last fifteen minutes.</p><p>"You'll meet him soon enough."</p><p>Paul scoffed, and clenched his jaw, not even up to questioning anything else that had to do with Elizabeth anymore. "Fine, whatever."</p><p>When Michael did exit out of the bathroom, the rest of the tour commenced upstairs, where Michael would most likely spend the remainder of his time for the first week here. Paul honestly had no idea how long he was going to let Michael last over here in this place, but he already felt it appropriate to put in his plea deal with the justice system if he is ever charged of kidnapping.</p><p>"This is my nephew's room, please do excuse the mess, he's such a klutz." Mimi said, opening the door that had a nuclear logo and a sigh that said "Do not enter" on the front of it.</p><p>Michael stepped in curiously, only for him to slip a little bit when his foot stepped onto some slippery plastic. He grappled at Mimi's wrist, looking down at what he had stepped on as the three other men crowded around him just from how he almost fell.</p><p>All five of them peered down at a men's porn magazine.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Now it seemed as if the “Do Not Enter” sign made a lot more sense.</span>
</p><p>"Oh my fucking-" George gasped, reaching out to immediately yank Michael away from the scene to cover his eyes. "What the fuck was that?"</p><p>Paul whirled around to face the shocked woman, a small part of him a bit taken back to see how shocked in the face she was, but the bigger part of him furious. "Great! You just have some fucked up nephew leaving magazines like that just laying around, and now you've scarred my brother. He hasn't even moved in yet, and now look at you."</p><p>Mimi slammed the door closed, loudly, which had caused a confused Michael to jolt under the protective grip of George. "I was not expecting anyone to see that McCartney. I would have thought you'd at least be mentally equipped enough to realize that."</p><p>"Kick the bucket somewhere you old bag, we're leaving. Come on." Paul spat, his teeth clenched and his chest burning into literal flames of fury towards both his father, that weird ass nephew of Elizabeth's, and Elizabeth alone.</p><p>He, Ringo and George had already made a beeline for the stairway which left Michael a window of hope that he would not have to be separated from Paul. Until Mimi had raised her voice, slightly. "If you leave with that child, I'm telling your father."</p><p>Paul stilled, and so did everyone else. Michael's bottom lip quivered.</p><p>Mimi sighed, exasperated. "Now.. let's continue?"</p><p>••</p><p>When Mimi opened the door to Michael's room, which was also the room she obliged to move out of so she could give Michael more of a play area. The little boy quickly took notice to how it was the biggest room of the house, which reminded him of his old room back at home.</p><p>Paul and George, along with Ringo were joined together in the middle of the hallway.</p><p>"I can't believe we had to see that, I hope Michael didn't get a full look at it." Richard has lowly said, his face flushed with terrorfrom the thought.</p><p>"I pulled him away before he could." George said, glancing worriedly over at Paul who hung his head low in distraught. "Almost tore his bloody arm out the damn socket from how fast I tore him away from that magazine."</p><p>"I fucking hate it here." Paul spat, moving his head up as he learnt against the wall when he suddenly felt heavy. "This is wearing me out, I just want to take him home and forget about this whole thing."</p><p>"Believe us when we say that we want you to do the same thing."</p><p>Right afterwards Paul had suddenly blanked out, staring into space for a span of forty seconds. George shook him, afraid that he'd have another episode while at a strangers house, a stranger that was openly disgusted with the medical issues Paul has already. Using it against him since when they had first arrived.</p><p>Ringo looked up, staring at them in worried confusion. "Is he alright?"</p><p>"Paul?" George called out, his ears burning when the blood suddenly went down to pump the fuck out of his heart which was racing.</p><p>Paul blinked, and shook his head timidly to gather himself. "I'm- I'm fine. I just zoned out."</p><p>Soon after that, he really zoned out when he sat at the dinner table with his younger brother. Realization striking him when George and Ringo came back from the car with Michael's belongings to take it up into his room.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>After settling the things in Michael's room, the two young men ventured into the kitchen with pale faces, just from the realization that had also struck them.Michael was really situated to live with a fucking stranger, hopefully not for the rest of his life, Paul wouldn't even allow it. </p><p>"Things are all set Mikey." George said, nonetheless, smiling and keeping up the encouragement.</p><p>Michael had frowned, and looked down at the decorative table mat in front of him. It made George and Paul's heart hurt seeing him so unhappy, in his short seven years of living, it was a fucked upfeeling.</p><p>It seemed as if realization had struck everybody, especially since the kitchen had became incredulously silent for the last few minutes that flown by. Aside from Mimi's humming as she prepared the casserole on the stove, the smell of it making Michael's stomach churn uneasily.</p><p>He hates casserole.</p><p>Michael always hated it, especially when his mom would eat it when she was pregnant with him. In return, she'd wake up with stubborn stomach aches and morning sickness that made her want to walk away from her own body.</p><p>Another thing struck Paul, which made him blurt out; "Is he allowed to listen to whatever songs he likes here? He loves watermelon sugar."</p><p>George, Michael, and Ringo all had turned their heads to look at the older woman that occupied the cabinets to dig out plates now. Waiting patiently for the most important answer at the moment.</p><p>"As long as it isn't Elvis." Mimi had eventually responded, somewhat meaning it, but the fact of the response flew over their heads since they all didn't listen to Elvis.</p><p>The backdoor opened from the pantry room, and it seemed as if George's eyes would fall out of his head when someone appeared. It made Paul whip his head to the same direction to be just as shocked.</p><p>Is that the cashier from that store?</p><p>John Lennon?</p><p>Realization had struck them all at once, well excluding Ringo since he honestly had no clue at what they were both gawking at. George's expression quickly dimmed down into an annoyed one, and Paul's transitioned into an embarrassed one as the two men locked eyes from across the house.</p><p>'Holy fucking shit, please, please do not tell me that's the fucking nephew.' Paul had plead to himself, mouth going dry with a raw taste of embarrassment and his face increasingly becoming as red as a rose.</p><p>"Uh.. aunt Mimi, what the fuck is going on here?" John had lowly asked, walking over towards the kitchen, greeting his aunt rather vulgarly. To Paul, his facial expression was the golden explanation when it came to sheer surprise.</p><p>"Watch your mouth, Michael is here. His brother, and his friend are also here too. Remember when I told you that we're having someone new living with us?" Mimi questioned, her voice punched and her patience growing timid from just the presence of her nephew which she needed an explanation from. "Oh yeah, and John? We need to talk."</p><p>George looked over at Paul, and Paul looked at him, both gazes were simultaneous.</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. tap in.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paul nd john meet again!! yet paul is not so happy to see him. hahaha we luv ultra slow burns... this’ll take awhile, have some hot-but-extremely-toxic sexual tension in the next chap though 😁</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John had seen humans that he had a twenty-three percent chance of seeing again. Some were delightful to look at, and some were honestly not. Both men and women alike had that affect on him, but it had ceased to actually bother him unless they were important. Yet when he'd meet them, he would always seem to forget their faces.</p><p>Or their whole existence, if he was lucky.</p><p>Fortunately, John hadn't exactly let the image of that striking young male that luckily came up to his register - disappear from his memory. Fuck he was so handsome, he looked ravishing, his persona coming off much more inviting than John had expected. To be honest, John was shocked that the man even spared him a single glance, and the audacity to even speak back to him.</p><p>Paul - his name. It was a name that seemed so simple for a man that looked as exotic as he did. The grocery store lights beamed down on him, gracefully as if it was an overhead spotlight that casted upon him on a big stage. John felt as if he was one of the thousands of adoring fans that had been gazing at such a irreplaceably gorgeous specimen.</p><p>When John was scanning the materials that Paul and his annoying ass friend - to John - had bought, mostly food and cleaning supplies, John had overheard them conversing about Paul's father. It was something that involved Paul having to drive over to his dad's house, the tone of his voice when he bought it up was coated in obvious annoyance.</p><p>Daddy issues, it was something John could completely relate to. That could be something that the auburn haired man could bring up in a future conversation whenever he could meet up with Paul again. </p><p>When John had asked about where did Paul find a glass cleaner, something that he already knew the location of, he hadn't expect for the man to answer back. John could tell Paul's gaze was elsewhere, and he concluded that someone as beautiful as Paul could never respond to him.</p><p>Well, he was wrong.</p><p>Paul adorably directed him to the exact aisle where he found the glass cleaner. John felt as if he was floating when the younger man broadcasted a pearly smile towards his direction. Fuck - he was about to faint when Paul was about to tell him his name. It was at that moment he felt like he was going to squeal like a bloody bird.</p><p>Until, as said before, Paul's annoying ass friend barged in with goodies to pour out. Then he had the audacity to let Paul pay for everything without putting up much more of a fight.</p><p>John wasn't going to have it. So of course he let his job become jeopardized when he allowed the whole line in his aisle exit the store with their merchandise. Without paying.</p><p>He'd quickly realize that he would give up everything for that fucking bloke.</p><p>"Lennon, are you listening to me?" His manager yelled, his chubby face was reduced to a hot red color, his hair was sticking to his forehead as anxious sweat began to outline the bridge of his nose. "What in the actual fucking hell has gotten into you?! What gives you the right to let dozens of people leave without paying?" He spat, moving from behind his desk to get into the younger male's face.</p><p>John had blinked back to earth, feeling dizzy since he was zoned out for a good seven minutes. "What?"</p><p>"What? Did you really just say <em>what</em>?" His manager - John read the name tag - Ted had croaked out in furious disbelief.</p><p>John crossed his arms, lowering down his tone as if he was speaking to a child: "Yeah, I said what. You know, like ‘what are you saying?’ Or ‘what are you talking about?’ that kind of what.”</p><p>Ted looked deflated, the condescending tone that plagued John's voice immediately made him go pale with more anger. "Were..you not listening to a word I just said?" He had then asked, feeling his throat burn with vulgar words that would make a priest faint.</p><p>John had opened his mouth, and then he closed it, trying not to laugh for a few seconds.</p><p>Ted watched him with an incredulous look on his face that almost made John bust. Fuck, seeing other people get so mad at him from the smallest things never failed to make him laugh.</p><p>After a few seconds of thick and tense silence, John was feeling bold enough to spurt out another: "What?"</p><p>—</p><p>"<em>Fired</em>?!"</p><p>John froze in the middle of the hallway, feeling annoyance strike him immediately at the sound of his aunt's voice, which was seemingly furious.</p><p>When John heard her footsteps coming towards him, he clenched his teeth and began to litter under his breath. "Oh for the love of-" but Mimi had prevailed before he could even finish his sentence, reaching up and grasping at her nephew's ear to tug him down to her level.</p><p>"What the fuck John? How did you lose another job? I've worked hard to pull strings by others to get you this one and you fuck it all up?"</p><p>John swatted her small hand away from his ear, grimacing in pain and quickly clutching onto his sore earlobe. "Hey, hey - I didn't screw it all up. The bloody manager had it out on me from the beginning." He had said, facing his aunt who was glaring up at him, seething.</p><p>Yeah, she wasn't having it.</p><p>John tried to sweet talk his way from Mimi's shit for the rest of the day.</p><p>Helping her sweep the ground, wash the dishes, wipe the windows, vacuum the carpet and then mop of the floor. All the chores that she wanted him to do a week before, but he just seemingly haven’t had the motivation to follow through with it.</p><p>Even though he cleaned for her, the day grew much more darker. At the same time, the permanent departure from John’s job had only made Mimi’s annoyance grow worse near dinnertime.</p><p>"We'll have another one living in this house, which means more food for us to buy, and more bills John. I can not be the only one pulling weight around here." Mimi said, dropping the plate of casserole aggressively in front of John which caused bits of it to spill over onto the table. She continued, "You're turning twenty-three this October John, start acting your fucking age."</p><p>Throughout that statement, John’s jaw clenched and his eyes stared down at the fresh plate of food.</p><p>“This is getting fucking ridiculous.”</p><p>John threw his palms down on the table at that, kissing his teeth as he rolled his eyes. "I do pull my weight around here. You always say shit like this, like I haven't been trying."</p><p>"The thing is.. you really haven't. The longest you could stay having a job is at least two weeks, and that's not enough John! Especially for the three of us." Mimi explained, sitting down across from her nephew with a plate of her own.</p><p>John stared at her, his facial expression seemed as if he was questioning the whole situation. "If you know how fucked up we are, financially, why did you take in some random person's child?"</p><p>Mimi had scoffed, "Jim McCartney is one of the most wealthiest men in Liverpool, watching over his child as he recovers will set us for life. For the record, if you knew how fucked up we are financially then why did you get fired?"</p><p>"I told you why. And some little shit is not going to get us far Mimi, trust me. Remember how you took me in? Now look where that got us."</p><p>"John!"</p><p>John exhaled, frustration setting in as he forked at his casserole. He remembered meeting that kid - Michael, he was a shy little boy, didn't say much during that conference. Talkative or not though, John simply couldn't care about the situation at hand. He thought it was fucking stupid. Whatever this McCartney business was made him overthink the negative more than the actual outcome it would bring.</p><p>"If you dare to ever ruin this for us, I swear to you." Mimi with her voice lowered, had talked in a threatening tone that made John's jaw clenched. "I will never talk to you again."</p><p>"What a menacing threat."</p><p>Mimi began to eat, ignoring John from that point on.  She was too detached at the fact that John had gotten fired, again. Knowing this week that they'd take in another member of the house.</p><p>John was spurred on, becoming impulsive and spitting out each comment he could make. He wanted so desperately to verbally hurt his aunt, something that happened way too often on both sides."You're fucking pathetic Mimi. Every so often, you would raise me to look down upon the rich, as they look down at us. Then you want to suck up to one of them and take in their offsprings? What happened to you?"</p><p>Mimi stuck the fork of food in her mouth, her eyes glazed with a distant look at the statement. Instead of responding to the comment, she replied with a cooled: "Eat your food John."</p><p>"You're a hypocrite, do you know that? A real one."</p><p>Mimi continued to ignore him, turning on her iPhone, distractedly looking throughout the facebook app.</p><p>John had pushed the plate away, disgusted -his mouth continuing to run. "You're never going to be like my mom. I was better off living with her than you."</p><p>"John, that is enough. I am not tolerating this from you now. You're getting too old to be spewing out shit like this without any consequence, so I suggest you stop."</p><p>John ran a tongue over his lips, hands clenching into tight fists as he sat back childishly. He stared at his aunt for a minute, watching as she ate her food timidly as if John was about to say something else that would set her off without a doubt.</p><p>Mimi eventually grew tired of the speculated glaring from John, and with a tired exhale she had placed her fork down steadily on her plate. "Are you not going to eat what I whipped up? This was the last of my savings, please don't waste my food."</p><p>"You really spent the last of it on casserole?" John had asked coolly, coming off absolutely irreverent which dug into Mimi's soul.</p><p>"Well maybe if you would keep a job, and stop being a bloody slob we'd be having steak again."</p><p>John laughed bitterly at that, something vile and absolutely disgusting leaving his mouth after a few seconds. "Or Mimi, or maybe if you haven't worked uncle George to <em>death</em>, we wouldn't be having this conversation so frequently. Yeah?"</p><p>Mimi immediately choked on the fork of food she scooped into her mouth.</p><p>••</p><p>"What the fuck happened to you?" Stuart had asked as he let John inside of his apartment. The auburn haired man had a red hand mark situated at the right side of his face, and as he somberly walked inside of the apartment, he held an ice pack at that exact cheek.</p><p>"Mimi slapped the sense out of me." John chuckled, barely hiding the tears that were shedding underneath his bangs when he turned away from Stuart.</p><p>"Seems like she slapped some sense into you." Stuart bluntly remarked which had made John stifle a sad chuckle. Stuart eventually sighed, closing his door and locking it afterwards. "Did she kick you out afterwards or something?"</p><p>John sniffled quietly, aggressively swatting his sweatshirt sleeve at the tears that were cascading down his cheeks. "Um, yeah, she was screaming at me to get out and shit. So I did. It's not her fault though, it's mine, all mine."</p><p>Stuart walked over towards his friend, who stood solemnly in the corner with his head lowered. He had then wrapped his arms around John's upper torso, giving him a strong back hug that made John chuckle under his breath. Stuart did not really have to ask, or see if John was crying. Although it was rare when John did cry - Stuart would always somehow suspect that he was genuinely upset with something.</p><p>John had alwayshated presenting his vulnerability to anyone, especially his closest friends.</p><p>"C'mon, let's sit." Stuart had gently murmured, he still held onto John, right as they both waddled their way towards the living room.</p><p>Stuart released John, who was now openly sniffing, when they had reached the couch. Stuart sat next to the other man, slinging a comforting arm around his back when John buried his face into his hands. "Are you crying?" Stuart asked, moving his hand up to ruffle John's hair.</p><p>John meekly attempted to move away from the man, but Stuart pulled him in again so that John was leaning his body on top of Stuart's.</p><p>"Piss off." John responded, a laughing tone in his voice.</p><p>"You're so cute ah - look at my little Johnny crying." Stuart had cooed, playfully teasing his mate as John gave in and buried his face into the crook of Stuart's neck to softly cry in. "It's alright, you're alright, you can stay here for as long as you need to."</p><p>"I fucked up Stu." John murmured, feeling sick at himself for the whole situation.</p><p>"Mm, how so?"</p><p>John had pulled away from Stuart, wiping away the streaks of tears that were continuously pouring down his cheeks. "You know that job at the super market downtown? The one Mimi got me?" He asked, turning to meet his friend's curious eye.</p><p>"Yeah," Stuart replied with furrowed eyebrows as he began to trace his thoughts. "That's the supermarket where that one idiot let a whole aisle of customers get shit for free."</p><p>John immediately looked away at that, ashamed.</p><p>Stuart raised a brow, and began to smirk. "Don't tell me that you're the idiot that let it happen."</p><p>John had exhaled, a blush was creeping up his cheeks as he thought back to the event. With a flushed face, he sent himself flopping back against the couch. "Yeah it was me, and I got fired for it. That's basically what got me here in the first place."</p><p>Stuart had quietly shook his head, thumping the fuck out of the side of John's head which made him jolt in pain. "Why the fuck would you do that?"</p><p>"Ow! I don't know! I met this guy and.. and-"</p><p>Stuart held up his hand to stop him right there, his face looking as if he was going to bust out laughing in a few seconds. "There isn't no fucking way you costed your entire job for a bloke."</p><p>"Stu you don't understand, he was so fucking stunning. Like he had the purest eyes, the most kissable lips, the softest voice."</p><p>Stuart rolled his eyes at each adjective, crossing his arms over his chest, and bowing his head in deep thought.</p><p>Meanwhile John had continued to spurt out sweet nothings about the man he met at the store, "He was so sweet, even when our exchange was short. Yet his friend was so annoying, I swear he just barged in the damn conversation like a retail manager." He said, glancing over at Stuart to see if he was still listening.</p><p>When he was met with the sight of Stuart holding his head down, with his arms crossed over his chest - he immediately faced the other man in concern. "Stuart? Are you mad at me?" John asked, not knowing why there would be a significant reason Stuart would be mad at him.</p><p>"No, I'm just.. shocked."</p><p>John had made a small noise, something that resembled a: "Huh?"</p><p>Stuart moved his piercing gaze upfrom his lap to John. "You were so smitten with one boy, you ended up doing something stupid, way too stupid for even you." He explained, something fluttering in his voice which was similar to happiness.</p><p>John had blushed, furiously. "I- what are you trying to say?"</p><p>"John, what I said is pretty self explained."Stuart replied, his expression becoming deadpanned and his voice going blunt.</p><p>••</p><p>"Casserole is good, I don't know what the fuck you're yappin about." Stuart said before shoving pizza in his mouth, lazily plopping his long legs into the lap of John. "I'd eat it."</p><p>"We eat it all the time though." John pouted, which had made the older man snicker in response.</p><p>"If it's all you can afford, then it really shouldn't be an issue." Stuart said after swallowing down the piece of pizza. "Don't be ungrateful."</p><p>"I just wanted to find a way to bring her down. Push her buttons, and hurt her since she hurt me." John said, feeling more and more ashamed as he thought it all over. He felt as if he was going to start bawling again as he stared down despondently at Stuart's legs.</p><p>The older man shifted his legs off of John's lap when he heard how saddened his voice had became. "One day, you're going to regret talking to her like that John. You got to stop doing that." Stuart scolded him, softly because he knew that John had a problem with this since forever.</p><p>"I know, I know."</p><p>"Mimi's a hard worker, maybe the next time you get a job.. you should put her first."</p><p>John looked over at Stuart, growing relaxed at the aura of reassurance that the older man eluded. After a second, he sighed and slumped against the cushion. "It's not just Mimi anymore, we're taking in a fucking kid from Jim McCartney."</p><p>"What? His kid?"</p><p>"Mhm."</p><p>Stuart clicked his tongue, and stared at the floor for a minute to register the information. "Jim McCartney, isn't he like rich or something?"</p><p>"I guess so, but he's sick with something right now. Mimi told me that he asked her to watch his kid, and I guess he's going to pay her when he feels better."</p><p>Stuart had scoffed at the dumb idea. "Long term baby sitting. Why doesn't he send the kid off to his family members or something. Why you and Mimi?" He asked, genuinely confused as to why John and Mimi had to take care of the child.</p><p>"That's what I'm wondering, I guess he's the only child." John had responded, growing irritated at the thought. "It just doesn't make any sense. The kid is just going to make everything more expensive than it already is."</p><p>"Say it again." Stuart distractedly said, eating some more pizza as he deliberately turned his phone on to catch up on notifications.</p><p>"Really giving up everything for some little brat."</p><p>Stuart only hummed, answering his old messages from the past few hours.</p><p>John huffed, throwing his head back in exasperation. "This is so stupid. Ever since uncle George died, it was only just me and Mimi. Now some little kid is going to waltz in here."</p><p>"Maybe, it's not the kid John." Stuart muttered, continuing to scroll through his twitter timeline.</p><p>"Huh? I mean, it used to just be two people and with a third one it's like.. fuck, what's the word?"</p><p>"It's like you can feel the shift." Stuart replied, he was still on his phone, but he was wholeheartedly listening to his friend nonetheless.</p><p>"Yeah, the shift. I don't know- maybe I'm just being a cunt. I don't think the little one even understands what's going on."</p><p>Stuart looked up at that, shutting his phone off with satisfaction from John's realization. "Now you're getting somewhere. You can't really be mad at the child."</p><p>John thought it over, and flushed. "I didn't mean to be mad at that the kid but-" He abruptly paused when Stuart put a gentle finger tip to his lips.</p><p>"Why don't you sleep everything off? It's getting late, you've been here for awhile and I'm getting tired."</p><p>John had no choice but to nod, exhaustion settling in when he felt Stuart's finger come off of his lips. It was as if Stuart had everything on cue when it came to them being tired.</p><p>••</p><p>The next day John only wanted to come back to Mimi's to retrieve a fucking jacket. What he hadn't expect was strangers - including Paul and Michael at the dinner table, along with Mimi cooking that damned casserole. So when the anxiety set in, and the immediate need to roll the fuck out of the house, John was suddenly fidgeting.</p><p>Paul, Paul, Paul, <em>Paul</em> - <span class="u">Paul</span> was in his fucking house. He was sitting at the dinner table. Paul was- oh my <em>gosh</em> - he was <em>here</em>.</p><p>No.</p><p>No.</p><p><em>No, no, no, no</em>!</p><p>Damnit it all to fucking hell! Why was he here? What the fuck is going on? Why is-</p><p>"Oh yeah and John? We need to talk." Mimi's firm voice snapped him back down to earth, fuck he had whiplash and he hadn't even whipped his head back.</p><p>John felt as if he was choking. He might've been if we're being honest. Turning back to his aunt, ignoring the piercing glare of Paul and his friends that was burning into the back of his head. "Is this some type of convention?"</p><p>"Sit down." She harshly responded, and then she purposely turnt away from him when she reached over to fix the food onto the plates.</p><p>"I just came here to get my jacket, honestly."</p><p>Mimi placed the plate of food down on the counter, turning towards her nephew - significantly fed up with his bullshit. "I've been trying to call you all damn day, even though you've been ignoring me, I put that aside and kept my patience. You are not about to ruin this for us, now go over there and sit down at the table."</p><p>"I wasn't ignoring you." John had said, telling the absolute truth, his phone died over at Stuart's. "Let me explain." He pleaded, reaching out for her hand but she quickly removed it away from his reach.</p><p>"John, please just sit down." Mimi said, begging at this point for him to listen, her voice was trembling unusually.</p><p>That was when John had noticed that Mimi was already so far gone with her patience, even when John hadn't really meant to set her off so quickly.</p><p>That would simply mean she was irritated before he even came here. Fucking hell, nothing is going right for him these last few days.</p><p>John stepped away from his aunt who resumed fixing the plates, and swallowed down the panic rising in his throat. Silently he began to trek over towards the dining room, which resulted in everyone who was staring at him to look away speedily.</p><p>John pulled out a chair next to Michael, sitting down slowly and scooting himself in with a tight facial expression. This was so embarrassing, he really just wanted to die on the spot at this point.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>And then; “I got to use the loo again.” Michael was the first one to break out a couple of words. He removed himself from the table, speed-walking out of the dining room towards his destination which had only left John with the adults.</p><p>John felt as if his chest was caving in when Ringo looked his way. The sea of blue eyes was staring at him curiously, the bloke’s head was innocently tilted to the side as he gazed over at John wondrously.</p><p>“What are you staring at?” John subconsciously spat, he couldn’t help himself, the pressure was too fucked up for him to just let the other man stare.</p><p>“Who the fuck else would he be staring at?” George asked immediately after, way before the blue eyed male could even part his lips to breathe in. The younger already timed how long each of them would be silent, so he knew exactly what to spit out whenever John decided to speak.</p><p>“Someone worth staring at, and it’s definitely not me.” John answered, annoyance coating his voice when he glared over at George.</p><p>Paul had suddenly let out a bitter chuckle, sitting back in his chair while looking around. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You?” Paul looked at John, and the older felt as if he became numb. “You’re Elizabeth’s nephew?”</p><p>John felt his heart sink at the bewildered expression on Paul’s face, he looked as if he was incredibly embarrassed and John felt the same way. “Listen, I honestly didn’t even-” John was cut off when George tugged at Paul’s arm to gather his attention.</p><p>“See, I told you Paul. I told you there was something up with him.”</p><p>“Wow.” Paul muttered under his breath, looking away from the pleading gaze John was sending him.</p><p>“Guys, lets calm down.” Ringo cut in, right as Mimi neared them with two plates. “Let’s honestly just discuss this situation later when everything makes much more sense.”</p><p>“Yeah, what blue eyed said.” John agreed, feeling sweat begin to form on his forehead when both Paul and George glared at him.</p><p>“Fine, fuck it. It’s not like Michael’s staying herelonger than a week anyways.” Paul spat, feeling a rush of anger bury him over, which caused tremors to run through his body. He felt so fucking done.</p><p>Before anyone else could say anything, Mimi settled the plates of casserole down on the table.“Where’s Michael?” She had then asked, looking over towards Paul, Ringo and George.</p><p>“He went to the loo.” John answered, which caused Mimi to look at him. “He seemed scared of me, because as soon as I sat down he scurried off.”</p><p>“Should be scared of someone as <em>sick</em> as you.” Paul said, venom evident in his voice. It seemed as if the sweet natured beauty John met at the super market had disappeared into an enraged beauty instead.</p><p>John still found him suffocatingly hot, and that was another thing that caused him to sweat.</p><p>Instead of punching him in the face, something John would do if someone else had said that to him, John only smirked in response.</p><p>Paul was <em>seething</em>.</p><p>George rolled his eyes, rubbing Paul’s backside and Ringo only exhaled from the intensity in the dining room.</p><p>“Paul, please.” Mimi said, as if Paul was John. For some odd reason that only made Paul even more sexy to John.</p><p>When Michael came back, sitting next to John but scooting a bit farther away, he stared at the plate that was in front of him. The boy cringed at the sight of casserole, and sighed softly under his breath. </p><p>Mimi sat down at the end of the table with her own food after placing Paul, Ringo and George’s plates down in front of them. “Alright, so.. this is John Lennon, my nephew. He’s um- he’s twenty-two and he lives with me.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, we know.” George replied, staring bluntly at John who gave him a dirty look from the unnecessary comment.</p><p>Paul was glaring at John, his heart pulsating in chest as he stared with anger at that handsome fucking face. He had never felt so much embarrassment under twenty-four hours, along with so much rage towards one person. John had soon enough stopped his staring contest with George to begin a new one with Paul, but this time there was not a scowl on his face, instead it was a smirk.</p><p>John had a small feeling in his body that he would significant enjoy this. Even if his attraction to Paul would only be ignored from the anger Paul obviously held against him.</p><p>•••</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. blueberry eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>next chap otw i’m enraptured with this plot</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael's heart felt as if it was going to burst out of his chest. Especially when the mean man beside him kept glancing at his older brother in a way that made Michael confused. If anything, Michael was more confused than he had ever been in his life.The fact that he was going to have to live here for who knows how long, and he couldn't do anything about it - made him significantly terrified.</p><p>To his point of view, he felt as if he was being tossed around like a hot potato. From his father, to Paul, back to his father, back to Paul, then towards two new members who wanted to play along. Mimi and John. It made the boy scared, not sure of what he was supposed to be doing within each environment.</p><p>Michael hadn't ate at all, despite the gentle push from Mimi that he should eat the food on his plate. Just to make it look like he ate, he pushed different segments of food around his plate and gave Ringo some extra food since he cleaned his plate.</p><p>"This is good ma'am." Ringo complimented, oblivious to the mounting tension that weighed the table.</p><p>Michael's eyes bulged wider than it already had been, moving his gaze over towards the woman that sat at the end of the table.</p><p>Mimi fake smiled, the expression not really meeting her eyes. "Thank you. I'm glad at least someone enjoys it." She coolly replied, not hiding her irritation towards everyone not eating the casserole she spent a lot on.</p><p>"There's nothing much to enjoy in the first place." Paul boldly commented right after he let Mimi's response digest, which caused Michael to softly gasp at the stark rudeness that gravitated around his brother. He was genuinely angry, which was rare for Michael to see, ever.</p><p>The man bedside him chuckled under his breath.</p><p>Mimi just about snapped, her voice raising from annoyance. "Well I'm sorry it's not what you royals eat everyday. I spent all I had on this dinner, it would be nice if you all were grateful."</p><p>Michael flinched at her tone, which made John look over towards him with an amused expression. "Mimi you done scared the crows." He laughed aloud, which caused his aunt to glare over at him.</p><p>Michael blushed in embarrassment, feeling ashamed from being so spooked.</p><p>George had immediately interjected, suddenly becoming Paul's anger translator. "Save your money Lizzy, you won't have to spend it for long."</p><p>"Fuck you, you asshole." Paul immediately spat at John at the same George was snapping at Mimi, he already knew what the crow comment was directed to and he was not going to let it slide.</p><p>Michael had visibly cowered, growing more scared than he already was at the outbursts from different people at the dinner table.</p><p>If he wasn't hungry before, he definitely wasn't hungry now.</p><p>••</p><p>Paul opened the door to Michael's room, holding the boy on his waist with an arm slung around him whileMichael clutched onto him like a baby chimp. He felt as if everything was upside down, and the only thing he could do was just hold on tightly to his brother.</p><p>Paul placed the younger boy down onto the floor, and knelt down in front of him, cupping the younger's face into his warm palm. "I'm sorry, you- you didn't have to see me like that. Paulie's just been stressed out lately, and he doesn't really like those two people." He explained softly, caressing Michael's face which was fixated into a sad pout.</p><p>"Are you really going to leave me here?" Michael asked, feeling his throat burn with incoming tears. Paul could hear the crack in his small voice, something that made the older want to cry as well.</p><p>"I have to. I don't want to, but I have to."</p><p>Michael's bottom lip trembled, his chest becoming heavy and hiccups leaving his mouth as he let tears escape. "No! I don't want you to leave! I want to go with you!" He cried out, immediately lunging forward to throw his little arms around Paul's neck.</p><p>"Hey, hey shh, come on." Paul replied, pulling Michael towards him to hold him tightly. "I'm going to come here and see you every single day. I'll drop you off at school, I'll pick you up, we're going to get ice cream every day bubba."</p><p>Michael huffed through his sobs, squeezing Paul tightly as he buried his face into his brother's neck. "Do you promise?" He asked, voice wet and soft with fear from the new surroundings.</p><p>"Of course, I promise. Now come on, you soft sod." Paul jokingly said, gently pulling Michael away from him. He said this even when his own eyes were watering with tears, it was something to just distract them both from crying together. "Let's dress down and get ready for bed. You want me to run your bath?"</p><p>"No." Michael immediately said, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of bathing inside someone else's house.</p><p>"Tomorrow morning then? We don't want you stinking up all over the place." Paul said, tickling the younger boy until Michael finally let a laugh spill from his lips as he jolted away from the tickles.</p><p>"Yeah, tomorrow, I guess."</p><p>Paul helped Michael get into some pajamas, and gave him some mint gum since Michael refused to go use the bathroom at all. Not even to simply brush his teeth, which made Paul concern if that was going to be a long term habit from this point on. He wouldn't complain though, he wants Michael to go his own pace to get as comfortable as he can here.</p><p>"Get some sleep, okay?" Paul asked, a gentle smile on his face as he ran his fingers through Michael's hair.</p><p>The boy looked angelic, wearing on his spider man jammies, and clutching onto an emoji pillow, instead of covering himself with the bed blankets - he used the blankets that he had packed with him. Paul replaced the bland lamp that was set on the nightstand next to the bed, with a lava lamp that Michael had packed instead. It was not exactly the same living environment, but it reminded Michael of Paul and it was all that mattered.</p><p>"Paulie, I love you." Michael replied, cutely wrapping his little fingers around Paul's thumb.</p><p>Paul felt as if he was going to scream from the adorableness. Fuck, how was he going to do this? "I love you too." He squeaked out, before burying the little one in another hug. "Ah, you're so cute."</p><p>Michael had giggled, as he hugged the older back with just as much affection. "Can you lay with me until I fall asleep please?" He asked, which tugged at Paul's heart even more.</p><p>"Yea, c'mon, scoot." Paul gently commanded, which Michael had followed almost instinctively as he scooted to the side of the bed to make room for the older man.</p><p>Michael speedily clambered onto Paul's stomach, resting his head on his chest as Paul wrapped his arms around the smaller body. With one hand resting in the boy's hair, and the other one placed in Michael's back, Paul began to feel himself relax.</p><p>Maybe, if he could plead his case in someway, shape and form to other family members to convince at least someone that he could take care of his brother. Even when he suffers from health problems, but it wasn't really in his control that he suffers from what he suffers from. It was frustrating to say the most, even though he forces himself to not think about it, and just shrug it off. If he opened up to his problems, he wasn't sure of what kind of person he would turn into.</p><p>It was just, hey - my dad fucked me up so bad when I was a child, I possibly have to suffer long term neurological issues for the rest of my life. Paul left it at that, he found it safe to leave it at that for now. If he dived deeper into that matter, it was just going to be a long year for everybody.</p><p>Paul closed it off, and squeezed his eyes closed, his breathing sped up as he tried to chase away the thoughts. If he gets too stressed, he can start trembling and then one thing would lead to another. Michael would be scared, Jim's point would be proven, and he would just be embarrassed beyond the point of return.</p><p>When he regathered himself, Paul noticed the soft draw-ins of breaths coming from his younger sibling. Which meant that Michael was fast asleep, safe in his brother's arms, and more than comfortable. Shit, Paul realized that he was going to have to leave Michael here for the rest of the night. This time would be the perfect time to scoop him up, and jump out of the window towards their car, pretending that this evening never happened.</p><p>Paul was too small to face prison though, even if he had the feistiness. Plus, the SO-CALLED feminine details involving him would suddenly activate and a lot of horrible things would start from there on.</p><p>Paul had to immediately shut that thought down, not wanting to think about it at all.</p><p>So Paul had gently placed Michael down onto the bed, gathering the blankets around him to make sure he was warm and tucked in, his eyes were distant as he did so. Just from the attempts to keep all of the negative thoughts away until he was out of the room.</p><p>He leant down to kiss at the top of Michael's forehead, gazing at him fondly for a minute.</p><p>Paul had then turned to head for the door, opening it, stepping out and then closing it immediately afterwards. A much needed exhale followed through, and he leant his back against the door with exhaustion flooding his senses. He really needed George right now, and he kind of felt stupid telling him to wait in the car while he helped Michael into bed.</p><p>"Aw did you kiss the princess good night?"</p><p>Paul had jumped, his heart almost flying out of his mouth from the sudden voice. He whipped his head towards John who was leaning against the wall, right next to Paul, his arms were crossed and his eyes were sparkling with mischief.</p><p>Paul honestly had no energy left to fight.</p><p>John had smirked as Paul looked him up and down in silent disgust. "Hey.. why were you so mean to me at the dinner table? Not only me, but my poor old aunt."</p><p>Paul snorted at that, shaking his head in disbelief which caused strands of his hair to fall in front of his face. "Can't believe this is happening." He began to mumble to himself, throwing his head back against the door in visible distress.</p><p>"That's not an answer love."</p><p>"Just fuck off, will you?"</p><p>"No, this is my house and you have to answer me."</p><p>Paul growled, moving his head off of the door, beginning to storm away from John before he did something stupid.</p><p>It seemed as if he had no choice BUT to do something stupid, since John had tightly grasped at his wrist before he could get farther away from him. "Wait, wait, I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry." There was something genuine in John's voice that made Paul freeze up.</p><p>Still though, Paul struggled to remove himself from the death grip on his wrist. "What the fuck is up with you? Let me go!" He demanded, his voice rough and filled with some spots of fear from how strong this man was. 'Why the fuck won't he let me go?' he asked himself, feeling immensely panicked out.</p><p>"Paul, just let me explain." John plead, and with some unknowing strength, he pulled the younger man towards the wall - caging him in within seconds, both of his arms pinned to each side of Paul's head.</p><p>Paul released a soft gasp when he felt his back hit the wall roughly, and it was something he immediately cursed himself for doing. It wasn't often that he would get manhandled by someone that isn't his father. It was a new feeling, something in the middle of a grey area which was unusual.</p><p>Well that was something entirely new that he should shut out.</p><p>"Just listen alright? I know, I know what you're thinking. This guy is mad. To be honest with you, I find it a dumb idea that Michael is living with us too."</p><p>Paul's face hardened, his eyes piercing mercilessly into the skull of John. "I don't care what you think. Get off of me you fucking <em>mutt</em>."</p><p>John stared blankly at him, and then he began to chuckle as he moved himself closer towards Paul's face which caused a feeling of knives to prick against Paul's skin. "You're so cute when you're mad, but as cute as you are, it would be nice if you would hear me out." He said lowly, in a voice that made Paul's eyes flutter subconsciously from conflicted feelings that he attempted to chase away.</p><p>"Damn." Paul whispered to himself, this guy was sexier up close and personal. Yet he chose a rational way to conclude this conversation.   After making out the word 'damn' which drew John in closer, the younger man tensed up. </p><p>"What was that darling?"</p><p>Paul inhaled sharply drawing all the air into his lungs, just to spit harshly into John's face before slapping his hand across hiss cheek, which immediately broke the older away from him. "I said.. get the -" Paul kicked him in his shin whilst John was recovering from the slap, "- <em>fuck</em> off of me." He spat under his breath wanting to keep his voice low in a whisper.</p><p>John hissed, immediately grasping at his stinging leg. Yeah, the bruise left there will be inevitable. "Son of a bitch." He murmured to himself, holding his other hand up to his cheek as he watched the younger man rush out of the house.</p><p>••</p><p>"Paulie? Can Ringo spend the night?"</p><p>Paul looked over his shoulder at George and Ringo, their arms were linked, a bottle of liquor - most likely bought by George was held by Ringo's side.</p><p>The second youngest of the three turned his head back towards the opened refrigerator door, ignoring the feeling of conflict once again bubbling up inside of him. "Yeah, have fun." He said softly, distracting himself by reaching for a carton of eggs for no reason.</p><p>George noticed the tone in Paul's voice, and glanced over at Ringo. "Hey, why don't you go in the guest rooms upstairs? I'll be up there soon, don't worry." He told Ringo gently, giving him a friendly smile which made the older man flustered. Untimely, Ringo nodded and rushed out of the kitchen down the hall towards the staircase.</p><p>Paul held onto the carton of eggs as he listened to Ringo's footsteps pad away speedily. He honestly had no idea why he felt the way he felt, it wasn't particularly jealousy, but it was something similar to it. The feeling didn't come often, and when it did come it would hit Paul hard, it would make him feel stupid.</p><p>He jumped a bit when he felt George lean against him, his chin planted on Paul's shoulders and his arms wrapped around the older's waist. "Are you alright?" George had asked, hugging Paul from behind tightly, comforting which made the older relax immediately.</p><p>Paul had nodded his head, lying. George watched as he placed the carton eggs right back in fridge.</p><p>"Of course, I'd think you'd be crazy to cook eggs near midnight."</p><p>Paul has chuckled, shifting so he could gently remove himself from George's back hug. "You should go upstairs with Ringo, I'm fine, I'm alright. I promise." He said, silently he pleaded for George to not listen to him and continue to hug him, but then another part of him needed to be alone.</p><p>Maybe he just needed George at least six feet away, but still there? Or he could just facetime him.</p><p>Paul didn't know what the fuck he wanted.</p><p>"It's been a hard day for you. I know." George said, making his way towards the island in the middle of the kitchen, hopping up onto the countertop. "You can talk to me Paul, when have you not?"</p><p>"We'd be talking all night Georgie. Just tend to Rings up there, please?"</p><p>George frowned, and stared at Paul for awhile. 'Well, that's weird,' he had thought to himself. It was rare when Paul would just shutdown a much needed conversation, it was rare when Paul would shut him out. Hell, this might have been the first time Paul did shut him out, and to say George isn't beginning to feel <em>hurt</em> in a way would be a lie.</p><p>Paul noticed his friend's silence, turned to look at him, noticed the hurt look on his face, and then he immediately went with the second option. "Or.. you could sing watermelon sugar with me while I make us popcorn?"</p><p>George's eyes had lit immediately up, that smile growing on his face much to Paul's inner thoughts of introvert. "Yeah, lets do that."</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. wanna die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW // seizures</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul turned his phone off when he heard the front door open, quickly shoving it in the pocket of his sweatshirt. There was an instrumental piano version of watermelon sugar playing, it was something to greet Michael after basically leaving him alone in a house of strangers.</p><p>Paul felt his mouth become a desert at that realization, then his hands felt clammy, suddenly he was sweating, his brain racing.</p><p>Fight it off, fight it off, <em>fight it off</em>!</p><p>John opened the door, once the younger male caught view of him - Paul already felt as if he ran forty-five laps around a football field. 'Where was the fucking aunt?' Paul questioned tiredly to himself, reaching back to pull his hood over his head so he could ignore the strength of John's gaze even more.</p><p>"Paul? What are you doing here so early?" John asked, tilting his head to the side curiously. He could already feel his heart pounding just from the mere presence of the younger lad. Even when Paul was noticeably trying to hide his face from John.</p><p>Paul exhaled from irritation, his big eyes glueing to the ground below him. "I came to pick up Michael."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>Paul scoffed, abruptly and looked up at John through his eyelashes. "What the fuck do you mean why? He's my brother, and I want him with me."</p><p>John smirked, "Sorry love, can't do that."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because.. he's in my house, and I want him with me." John said, reiterating Paul's words to use it against him. It was something arousing to watch the younger man get all riled up, from his own doings out of anything else.</p><p>Paul felt a wave of inflammation wrap around his head which made his chest heave a bit from the pain. Yeah, he might have to cancel this meeting if his head keeps pounding like this. Paul already felt the lost of taste in his mouth, and the buffering confusion already incoming the more he stood here.</p><p>With a soft groan of agony, Paul ignored John for a second to place his palm against his forehead.</p><p>John's smug face transitioned into a slight worrisome expression. "Hey.. are you alright Paul?"</p><p>"I'm.." Paul trailed off, the pain growing and the fight against becoming intense. Fuck, it was time to go. "I'll just come back later then." He said, breathless and scared of what would happen in the next passing minute.</p><p>"Mimi already dropped Michael off to school. He's not here, I was just trying to rile you up. Please don't get too upset." John said, gay panicking when he stepped out of his house to get closer to a trembling Paul. He honestly had no clue what was going on with the younger man, it was something immensely off putting.</p><p>After John had said what he said, Paul concluded that it was a good idea to just get the fuck out of here. Get farther away from this place so he could be safe, and —</p><p>John reached out and immediately caught Paul when the younger man fainted.</p><p>Oh shit, now what? This is- wow- something that John hadn't even dreamed of happening with someone like Paul. John did the logical thing, rushing Paul's trembling frame inside of the house, heaving him up more into his arms.</p><p>There was so much to swallow under the last fifteen seconds. Paul fucking McCartney came up to his doorstep, looking beautiful even when his face was covered with a hoodie. That same Paul McCartney fainted into his arms, and is now out cold with significant convulsions that happened within each span of a minute. John placed Paul's unconscious, shivering body down onto the living room carpet, panic rising up his body.</p><p>"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Hey - hey Paul, do you hear me? Come on, come on beautiful, you're going to be alright." John said, cupping Paul's cheek as the younger tossed his from side to side as if he couldn't control the movements of his head.</p><p>Another set of convulsions transpired, Paul was twitching on the floor, teeth clenched and body stiff. Those lovely eyes, unfocused and forced to the back of his head in a horrific state. John had never witnessed anything like this before, and he felt as if he would be ignorant to diagnose this as a seizure. To John though, that's exactly what it had looked like, and he honestly had no clue what to do.</p><p>John frantically removed his phone, jotting his shaking fingers down onto the screen, typing 999 down hurriedly. In an instant, he held the phone up to his ear and blurted out everything as soon as the operator picked up. "Hello? Yeah um- my uh..friend! My friend is having a fucking seizure in my living room and I don't know what to do!" He shouted, looking down in horror as Paul began to drool from the side of his mouth, he wasn't convulsing any more but he was still twitching. Unconscious. Unaware.</p><p>John felt as if Paul was going to die right in his house. Right in front of him. Right before he could really get to know him. As he explained the hectic situation to the person on the other end, John placed his hand against Paul's chest to check the younger's heartbeat. And good fuck was it faint, it was as if his heart wasn't beating at all.</p><p>Now John really was near tears. He hadn't witnessed death before, although he's been through grief of death, he never actually witnessed it.</p><p>••</p><p><em>Blergrpp Aparr tip err dact</em>?</p><p>'What?'</p><p><em>Bleergrpp Aparr tip err dact scavern</em>?</p><p>'Who is this? What are you talking about?'</p><p><em>Raver dinc scaveern! Miscilgerbraa</em>!</p><p>Paul felt as if he was under water, along with some type of rotten watermelon that was bitten into was trying to fucking talk to him. Fuck - is this what being on drugs feel like to others? He was scared to do drugs, feeling as if it would just make his condition even worse, but if this is what it feels like then he wouldn't mind trying it.</p><p>Talking to rotten watermelon under the sea is not that bad, he could do this for a living.</p><p>However, the deep sea blue spots faded away and in came an extremely bright hospital light beaming down at him. It took him a couple of seconds to get used to it, fearing another headache triggering just from that fucking light. 'What dumb fuck puts a bright ass hospital light above the bloody patient?' Paul thought to himself, furrowing his eyebrows as he squeezed his eyelids closed with a small whimper.</p><p>Turns out it was a doctor flashing a light in his eye, since the click of the flashlight made Paul crack one eye open curiously. Paul blushed dumbly to himself. </p><p>"Nurse, go in the waiting room and tell the staff that he's awake." The doctor, who was significantly attractive, had ordered to the nurse who was waiting sweetly in the corner of the room.</p><p>Paul huffed, finding it safe to open both of his eyes. 'Fuck what happened?' he felt so fucking out of it, so sick in the stomach for no reason. It was not often that he would lose his memory when he would black out like this, or if he had even blacked out at all. All he knew is that he was in a fucking hospital, no explanation, no anything. He was still in his day clothes, thank God because he had no idea what the fuck he'd do if he was in hospital clothes.</p><p>Paul would of had to call someone to bring his clothes to the hospital. What an embarrassment.</p><p>Seriously, what the <em>fuck</em> though. He was so confused by everything that happened.</p><p>The last thing he remembered was - was —</p><p>Oh no.</p><p><em>Oh no, no, no, no, no, no</em>. No. No. Please, gosh, fuck <em>no</em>.</p><p>"Sir Paul, you have suffered from a horrific grand mal seizure. Thankfully, that young man called us in time or it would have gone extremely bad on everyone's part." The doctor said, shaking his head as he wiped sweat off of his forehead as if he just got done sawing. “You were extremely dehydrated, and your blood pressure is significantly low as well."</p><p>This is bad, this is very, very fucking bad. That fucking IDIOT John really called the ambulance on him? How long had he been knocked out? Did Michael know? Hell did his fucking father know? What if Elizabeth knew? Oh well no shit she would fucking know, he had a grand mal fucking seizure at her blasted house for fuckssakes.</p><p>A grand mal seizure is one of the worst seizures that could plague someone. It might've been so severe because Paul felt as if he was a dumbass on being so stressed, and not taking care of himself the last few days because of this situation.</p><p>Ha, another health issue bought on by the sheer ignorance of his father, that just refuses to give Paul custody of his own brother.</p><p>Looking at the gist of everything that's been happening, maybe - maybe his father was right.</p><p>Paul was hyperventilating at this point, his pulse skyrocketing and his head. Stress levels were high, and so was Paul's cardiovascular system.</p><p>"Son, <em>son</em>, calm down and listen to me." The doctor said, noticing how Paul broke into cold sweats and how bluishly-pale his skin had became. "Relax boy, <em>relax</em>, stay with me alright?"</p><p>Paul witnessed spots of blue pierce through his vision again, consciousness stalling, brain shutting down instinctively. Instead of fighting it off, he gave in, silently hoping that this time around he doesn't wake back up.</p><p>Distinctively, in the midst of him fading out of the real world, he heard a nurse call out urgently with concern in her voice. "Doctor! He has succumbed into another seizure!"</p><p>••</p><p>"Fuck, fuck, fuck." George brokenly chanted, his ears ringing from the sounds of doctors racing into what he had assume was Paul's hospital room down the hall. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, hard guilt bubbling heavily inside of him, a feeling George had never felt before.</p><p>"He's going to be alright." Ringo said, slinging his arm around George's shoulder to pull the trembling young man in comfortingly.</p><p>"No Rings, I should've been there! I'm usually there when he gets like this and- and.."</p><p>"Don't you fucking put this on yourself." John spat from the other side of the waiting room, his own mental freak out happening from what has unfolded the last three hours. Before George could open his trap, John harshly continued. "It wasn't the type of seizure that we could just soothe him through. This one was fucking bad, really, really bad. You would of had no choice but to do what I did."</p><p>"You're just a fucking idiot, you know that? I've stuck around with Paul ever since he first started having these fits you cunt. You can't just barge in here and invalidate how I fucking feel."</p><p>John abruptly stood up, approaching George much to Ringo's obvious pleads for them to calm down. The older man grasped at the front of George's shirt, lifting him up and close to him. "You dickhead, he was fucking dying at my house. Whatever seizures you've 'helped' him through obviously don't compare to this one. Whether you've been with him through this as a child or not, you would've called the ambulance as well."</p><p>"Mates, please!"</p><p>John threw a red faced George down into the chair, backing up until he plummeted down back into his seat. He really hoped, prayed, wished, and even manifested that Paul was alright. The sight he witnessed was horrifying to say the most, and at this moment he didn't know what to do with himself. Wait - maybe that's why Paul and Michael's father didn't want to give the kid up to Paul. As he thought more about it, the matter of it was pretty understandable. No kid needs to see something like that. <em>Not at all</em>.</p><p>If it scarred John this much, then it'd definitely scar Michael.</p><p>"Gentlemen? Are you all related to McCartney?"</p><p>All three of the men stood up. The doctor flinched at how in sync the movement was which made John and George roll their eyes.</p><p>"Is he alright?" George and John asked in unison, Ringo had his hand placed on both of their shoulders in comfort.</p><p>"Well, he's coming down from another seizure. It's not as bad as the other, but there was still some medical assistance needed."</p><p>George teared up again, feeling as if he was going to vomit from the information.</p><p>"The seizure he suffered from earlier, which thankfully Lennon had intervened for, was a grand mal seizure. It was extremely severe, having him knocked out of it into a near coma for at least three hours."</p><p>"Grand Mal?" George had softly asked, seemingly becoming more young than he was. "What kind is that?" He asked, suddenly feeling heat crawl up his neck at the idea of John proving himself right. Maybe he really wouldn't be prepared for this type of experience.</p><p>"A grand mal seizure is the most violent seizure a person could experience.” The doctor, whose name was Henry had said in a low voice. It made the situation seem more dramatic than it already had been for the three men. “It is also called tonic-clonic, and it could also make you lose consciousness.”</p><p>“Isn’t it mainly an epileptic seizure?” Ringo asked, squeezing both John and George’s shoulders.</p><p>“Yes, it is.”</p><p>John felt a cold chill run down his spine. Paul was epileptic? Holy shit. He had no clue that someone as perfect as him would be suffering from something so off putting. John wasn’t unfamiliar with making jokes about people with illnesses such as that, but experiencing it firsthand really woke something inside of him up.</p><p>“Well.. how is he now? Is he- is-.. is-” George stuttered pathetically over his words as he tried to talk, his mind branching out in different areas that he didn’t want it to go.</p><p>Fortunately the doctor cut in. “We’re trying our best to stabilize him right now, his stress levels are very high and he has low blood sugar. He fell into another seizure, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to have to stay over the night.”</p><p>George felt as if his heart was beating outhis chest, up his throat, onto the fucking floor because holy shit. This was serious. Paul was really sick, sicker than George was ever used to seeing him and it was close to bringing tears to the younger’s eyes. If anything happened to Paul, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself, at fucking all. It was a horrific thought that he refused to let take over.</p><p>“We should go to his house and get clothes for him. This might be a long week for everyone.” Ringo had softly said, turning a flustered and teary George towards him. George nodded, his throat burning harshly from the overbearing attempts to hold back his sobs.</p><p>John’s jaw had clenched, side eyeing the duo with a aggrieved glare. The doctor softly dismissed himself from the three, going back towards Paul’s room to see how his condition was coming about. With the presence of the doctor now gone, John immediately growled towards George and Ringo. “Take me with you if you’re leaving.” He demanded, a rumble in his voice.</p><p>George quickly whipped around to face John, emotional and bitching. “You’re fucking mad if you think we’re taking you to Paul’s house. He’d vomit at the thought of you in his home.”</p><p>“I mean, I am the one that basically saved his life, something that you couldn’t do.” John retorted, feeling weird to use <em>that</em> as an advantage, but since George wanted to make him feel like shit then he could also play at that game.</p><p>George’s face paled at that, his closed fist tightening up into strained balls of potential fatality. “You’re sick in the head.” He spat out with venom, something blood curdling in his tone which made John almost smile.</p><p>“George.. he did have a hand in getting Paul to a safer place. He should come with us.” Ringo said aloud before John could even deposit air into his lungs. Oh Richard, the ever so neutral guy on his way to save the day again before it ends in a more dramatic way.</p><p>George had only scowled, and rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” </p><p>••</p><p>“Hey fangs.” John bluntly said, snapping his fingers which had madeGeorge tense from the sound that happened directly into his ear. “Gimme your phone.”</p><p>“Fuck you, I’m driving and my name is George.”</p><p>“I don’t care. Just give me your phone.”</p><p>“Why the fuck for?” George asked, wanting to seem as rude as he could be towards this half-stranger sitting in his car. He tried glancing at Ringo for some help but all he got in return is an awkward shrug from the shorter lad.</p><p>John had scoffed, rolling his eyes as he leaned up to both of the seats in front of him mischievously. With a laugh, he went to prod at George’s ear with his index finger. “Why not? Do you have a bloody android or something?” He asked, voice teasing and serious at the same time.</p><p>George shrieked, swiping at John’s hand as Ringo laughed gently into his palm while watching the two bicker. “Hey! Stop it you fucking weirdo!”</p><p>“You stop being stubborn and give it. I left my phone at Mimi’s, I need to borrow yours to call her. She’s probably wondering where the fuck I’m at.”</p><p>“She’s your aunt, not your fucking <em>mom</em>, now piss off and sit back.” George responded, not even knowing how low that blow was to John and if he wasn’t driving right now, he was sure to be dead in the next few seconds.</p><p>John eerily quieted down, facial expression growing unreadable as he actually sat back into his seat. George glanced at the rearview mirror, kind of surprised that John had actually listened, which left him relaxed at the moment.</p><p>Ringo’s amusement died down into an uncomfortable feeling, it seemed as if he had sensed how much of a nerve George had hit within John.</p><p>Well, there goes the fun.</p><p>After two red lights, John finally spoke back up but this time in a more monotone voice unlike his playfulness earlier. “She basically became my mom when my mother died. Listen.. I just really need to talk to her. So can I please borrow your phone? It’s the only thing I ask of you, and I promise I’ll give it back.”</p><p>George frowned, taken back from what John just said. ‘Well fuck me sideways,’ he had thought to himself as he sighed and reached into his pocket to remove his phone.</p><p>Ringo turned around in his seat, facing John and muttered a genuine; “My condolences to you.”</p><p>John put on a sad smile that said ‘thank you’ on its own, which Ringo kindly returned back. ‘Yeah, I’m definitely going to introduce him to Stuart,’ John thought excitedly to himself when Ringo turned back in his seat.</p><p>Glancing up from the phone to the road, and back down onto the device, George quickly typed his password in. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, it was beyond his comfort zone, and John definitely was going to owe him back. George winged his arm back, holding the phone over to John who gently took it into his hand.</p><p>“Thank you, George.” John said softly, dialing his aunt’s number into the phone.</p><p>George had blushed, suddenly feeling as if he was put on the spot. “Yeah, hurry up. Will you?”</p><p>“You’re blushing Geo!” Ringo untimely pointed out, a smile on his face as his eyes glittered with amusement.</p><p>John placed the ringing phone on his ear, a smirk dancing on his face as he watched George tighten his grip on the steering wheel. “Falling for me..are you Georgie?”</p><p>George scowled, a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance bottling up as his face got redder from the commentary. “I will literally throw you out of an airplane before fucking takeoff.”</p><p>•••</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>poor paulie :( maybe next chap will be better for him....if there is one</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. headspace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>next chap otw soon :) pls enjoy <br/>oh yeah, paul &amp; john will have more civil interactions too. <br/>sexual tension is still there.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To simply say Paul felt like shit would be an understatement.</p>
<p>To say that it would be an understatement would also be another understatement.</p>
<p>What even is a fucking understatement?</p>
<p>What even would be an overstatement in this situation?</p>
<p>Right now he was put on some medication that the taste of his mouth simply revolted to liking. The day clothes were long gone to his disappointment, unknowing nurses checked in and out of his room to check his vitals and shit. Switching IV's, fluid bags, sticking him with some other medicine and all.</p>
<p>Paul felt as if something was lodged in his nose, and it annoyed him intensely.</p>
<p>He wanted to rip it off of him, hopefully dragging parts of his brain out of his nostrils as well so he could die forever.</p>
<p>Paul felt as if he was slowly coming to terms with the issues he has. Both neurotically, and mentally, if he accepted what was happening to him he was sure that he'd become a man that wasn't him. It would possibly kill him, it would drive Michael away from him, and all the other outsiders that weren't any of the voices in Paul's head.</p>
<p>It was so hard not to accept though, he's been having to go through this since he was a child.</p>
<p>From his dad.</p>
<p>The same guy that is desperately trying to separate Paul from Michael.</p>
<p>The same guy that basically put him in this situation, that made him stressed, that blamed Paul from his own fucking abuse.</p>
<p>Paul felt as if he was choking, and that was the first time he officiallyopened his eyes, wide, alert. Tears were the only thing blinding his vision this time, not any blue spots, ziggly lines or anything static.</p>
<p>Paul raised a shaking hand up to cover his mouth, trying to capture his breath.</p>
<p>Telling himself to calm down until it became a mush bundle of words that only made things worse. He'd get upset even more by not listening to himself, and untimely shit would start to mount up inside of him.</p>
<p>'Then I would have to suffer through a third one, be knocked out passed fucking midnight.' Paul inwardly panicked when he remembered that he was going to pick up Michael.</p>
<p>Paul was originally planning to skip school with the younger boy, watch movies and drink hot chocolate with him. He thought it would be quick and easy, go to the aunt's house, pick him up then leave.</p>
<p>Yet a significant fucking someone wanted to make things hard until Paul felt his legs give way.</p>
<p>Paul's fist clenched at the thought of John. His heartbeat quickened as he remembered that the older man called the ambulance on him.</p>
<p>Thanks John that most DEFINITELY got the news out, to everyone. His dad knew, his brother knew, Mimi knew.. Paul felt as if he was definitely fucked over. The amount of anger building up inside of him towards that auburn haired bastard was making him even more teary.</p>
<p>What the fuck was his problem anyways?</p>
<p>Paul knew John had it out for him ever since the older man pinned him against the wall, warm breath tickling his face, his voice low and sort of sultry. Demanding the younger man to hear him out which Paul had stubbornly rebelled against. Those deep brown eyes piercing into his hazel ones erotically, which made Paul's face hot with who fucking knows.</p>
<p>'Ah, shut the FUCK up!' Paul shouted, shutting down those thoughts as soon as it came.</p>
<p>The last thing, the very LAST thing he wants to do is..think about that incident.</p>
<p>Instead, he attempted to choose the rational way again and wish the worst to ever happen to that fucking Lennon. However, he just couldn't. Paul lazily convinced himself that John was ruining the twenty-one year olds life, but the hate wasn't there. Frustration was there instead because hating John along with hating his father would just be tiring.</p>
<p>Fucking dickhead. What did he gain from calling the ambulance? He should have just left Paul die there at his home.</p>
<p>It would be a powerful good riddance to life, and Aunt Mimi. To his dad.</p>
<p>Michael though, he couldn't leave him, not like that.</p>
<p>Paul glared vengefully at his telly through the blur of unshedded tears. He wasn't sure what the television had done, but he just wanted to punch the fuck out of a 1940's Bugs Bunny.</p>
<p>Ducks season, rabbits season, whatever the fuck.</p>
<p>Paul barely cried, and he refused to do it now even when the tears were boiling at the brim of his tired eyes.</p>
<p>He felt as if it was only going to make his thoughts become worse throughout time.</p>
<p>"Awake, are we?" The male doctor's voice shook him up.</p>
<p>Paul closed his vulnerability out like a shy virgin closing their bare legs. 'Did doctors just decide altogether to not knock anymore?' Paul asked to himself, immediately swallowing down the tears before they could wash over the shore.</p>
<p>"How are you son?" The doctor asked, taking a glance at the monitors to see how he was doing on the inside.</p>
<p>All was going well. It was kind of  shocking how fast Paul was recovering from the two episodes he had suffered from. Just for safety though, the boy might have to sit this one out for another two days in the hospital.</p>
<p>Paul parted his lips, noticing immediately how dry his mouth was. Not only his mouth, but the whole inside of it as well. His breaths were ragged, and his tongue felt like a piece of paper in his mouth from the dried taste buds.</p>
<p>"Water?" Paul eventually made out, cringing at the smallness of his voice. He sounded like a toddler. Barely making out the words, but letting the adult know exactly what he want by shaping the vowels out correctly.</p>
<p>The doctor laughed softly, turning around and signaling a nearby nurse to get some liquid in Paul's mouth instead into his veins.</p>
<p>Paul's eyes narrowed with a pout on his face as he tried to figure out what the fuck was so funny.</p>
<p>"While she goes and gets you water. I'll fill you in on everything that's been happening." Doc said, taking out his stethoscope which Paul stared at intently. "So, you've had to go under two bad seizures in a short span which to others, it would be a lot more terrible."</p>
<p>Two? So the second one he gave into couldn't finish the job? Ah - lame.</p>
<p>"Like I said before, your friend that called us really did save your life. If he hadn't called, then you'd sure be in a lot of trouble."</p>
<p>"He's not my fucking friend." Paul spat, a bit of his voice coming back spontaneously.</p>
<p>The doctor looked taken back from the tone for a few seconds. He had soon fixed his face up, and cleared his throat placing the ear tips of the stethoscope in his ear.</p>
<p>"An associate, sorry. Your recovery rate is astounding, we originally thought you'd be in here for at least five days. You've been upgraded to two more days instead." The doctor explained, placing the drum against Paul's chest to listen in on how he was doing.</p>
<p>Paul's cheeks flushed a bit of pink when the other man leaned in close to get a richer sound of his heartbeat.</p>
<p>The doctors eyes weren't even fucking closed. Paul could only stare back at him as the other male's breaths puffed against his face.</p>
<p>Why does shit like this always have to happen to him? Right at the bad moments.</p>
<p>Paul eventually looked away, and clenched his teeth as the doctor softly pressed the drum to different areas of his chest. He tried his best to sink into the hospital bed, creating as much space as possible from the annoyingly good looking doctor.</p>
<p>Thankfully, the doctor pulled away and took off his stethoscope, laughing again. "You know, you're a real handsome bloke. I'm kind of tempted to ask for your number once you get out of here."</p>
<p>Paul stared up at him with big confused eyes, and a growing frown on his face.</p>
<p>Did this dude just- did he.. what the fuck?</p>
<p>The nurse fortunately walked in, a small and cold bottle of water in her delicate hands. "Here's some water for you." She smiled innocently.</p>
<p>The doctor nodded thanks to her, taking the bottle out of her hands beginning to twist the cap off for Paul.</p>
<p>"I got it." Paul interjected, halfway snatching the bottle away from him to open it himself, even though he hadn't used his strength in hours.</p>
<p>"Okay, gorgeous." The doctor cooed, his eyes twinkling as he watched the younger man struggle to open the bottle.</p>
<p>Paul wished that he could sink back into unconsciousness, especially from the doctor's eyes piercing into his forehead.</p>
<p>Paul always got the 'you're so beautiful' or 'you're so gorgeous' remarks but he never knew how to respond to it unless he actually liked whoever said it to him. He cursed himself for flustering so easily while being praised or complimented. Doesn't really matter who does it. Paul would just say a quiet thank you, feeling shy and put on the spot.</p>
<p>However, if it was a bad time, Paul would feel offended. Like he's feeling now.</p>
<p>Paul desperately wished George was here to plummet the doctor.</p>
<p>He wish— wait.</p>
<p>"Doc, um do you know where my phone is?" Paul asked, not even opening the bottle of water yet, but with each bullshit that transpires the normal tone was coming back.</p>
<p>"Your phone? Oh yes, it was brought in earlier by your friends and the associate." The doc said, still enraptured by Paul's beauty. </p>
<p>"Can you give it to me?"</p>
<p>The Doc shook his head. "I think it'd be safe to keep you away from cellular devices for the next twenty-four hours."</p>
<p>Paul chose the second route that he already formulated in his brain. He brung his hand up to the doctor's arms, clutching onto the sleeve of his hospital jacket and tugging it.</p>
<p>Paul put on a face that he felt could weaken the rules of the wall the doctor put up.</p>
<p>He pouted, making his eyes glossy, and his still flustered face added onto the affect when he mewled. "Please.. I- I really need to use my phone." Paul hiccuped, making his eyes glisten teasingly under the light of the room, running his hand up and down the sleeve of the doctor.</p>
<p>The doctor swallowed hard, feeling his trousers tighten. Power from Paul's gaze made him dizzy with arousal. He never felt the extreme feeling of wanting to take apart a patient on the bed so bad. "You need it?" The doctor repeated, a shaking tremor added onto his voice.</p>
<p>Paul almost rolled his eyes, but he only shoved his hand up the sleeve of the doctor to caress the other's forearm. "I- I need it."</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>"Excuse me." George muttered, brushing past a vacuuming Mimi who only grunted in response.</p>
<p>The older woman was understandably shocked when  she found George, Ringo, and John situated at her house. All three of them looked exhausted, and like they've been through war while she was gone.</p>
<p>She hadn't expected for them to actually be.. together, especially from the events of the night before.</p>
<p>When she asked why they were all together, there was a mixture of responses brought back to her.</p>
<p>"Well, Paul came here earlier and he coll-" Before John could finish, George smacked his hand over the older's mouth and presented a crazed smile.</p>
<p>"Paul told us to uh.. stay here and wait for Michael to come back." George said, which caused John to side glance him in confusion. "So we did that.. yeah."</p>
<p>Mimi concluded that young people are from a different planet and left it at that.</p>
<p>Anyway, George made his way into John's room which was occupied by Ringo, Michael, and John closing the door. "Hey guys, Paul just texted me."</p>
<p>Michael raised his head from his hands, face red and eyes watery with tears. "Paulie? He's okay?"</p>
<p>"Oh really?" John asked, and stood up from his bed. He walked over to George before anyone else could make a move, snatching the phone away from the younger.</p>
<p>"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" George yelped, reaching desperately for his phone.</p>
<p>Bumping George away with his shoulder, John clicked on Paul's contact, and copied down the man's number down into his own phone. "Wait a minute brat. Let me just jot this down and I'll hand it back to you." He said, finishing the number off and then shoving the phone back to George.</p>
<p>George let his glare linger on John until he heard Michael whine impatiently. "Tell us what he said already!" He shouted, annoyance was raiding his little body.</p>
<p>"Okay, okay. He just asked 'where are you the doctor is trying to..' wait." George furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, not willing to say the next sentence since it was kind of explicit. Soon enough, George started to laugh and shake his head. "He just wants me to come to the hospital to see him."</p>
<p>"Just you?" John asked with his eyes glued onto his own phone. He was typing in Paul's contact name, putting cute ironic emojis after the name: '<em>my gorgeous doll</em>' it was something simple.</p>
<p>"Well, he texted me so I don't know. Maybe I should bring you Michael."</p>
<p>Ringo made a noise of disapproval even though Michael's eyes lit up. "I don't think Paul wants Michael to see him like that."</p>
<p>Michael frowned, and then he said something that sucked the air out of the room. "But I already know about Paul's brain issues though. Dad used to tell me about it all the time."</p>
<p>George almost dropped his phone, and Ringo's mouth had popped open. John only raised a brow, feeling as if he was out of the loop.</p>
<p>"Why is that so shocking to you guys?" John asked innocently, which made Michael nod in agreement with a confused look on his face as well.</p>
<p>"John c'mere, Ringo stay in here with Michael."</p>
<p>Ringo obeyed, nodding his head without another word.</p>
<p>John was almost dragged out of the room by his arm, out into the hallway, out of the hallway, to the front door, and soon out of the house.</p>
<p>Once out of the house, George quickly closed the front door and faced a massively confused John Lennon. "Okay so, Paul's seizures are extremely looked down upon. The thing is that..he wasn't born with his seizures and he had no control over it."</p>
<p>"What?" John asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the turn of direction this situation is going in.</p>
<p>Hopefully George just leaves it at that sentence, John already felt as if he was violating the fuck out of Paul's personal life.</p>
<p>"Jim McCartney was an abusive piece of shit. He would beat Paul so severely, and hit his head so much that Paul has epilepsy from the amount of head trauma."</p>
<p>Oh my fuck.</p>
<p>John's eyes widened, his brain turning into mush as he took in the information.</p>
<p>George sighed, and shook his head. "Paul he's.. he acts as if he doesn't care about what's going on with him, but I know he was stressed out lately."</p>
<p>"Mm," John hummed.</p>
<p>"He wants to prove that he could take care of Michael. Paul loves his brother so much, and he was always there to make sure Michael has a safer childhood than him. That's why he's so opposing to him being here instead of closer to him."</p>
<p>John looked down, feeling tingly. "I don't- did he even want me to know this?"</p>
<p>George paused at that, and thought it over the next terrifying few seconds.</p>
<p>Yeah. That's going to bite back one day.</p>
<p>John decided to move on, just for the better of both of their mental states. "So are you going to go to the hospital or not?" He asked, immediately bringing George back down to earth.</p>
<p>"Oh! Yeah! Can you come with me?"</p>
<p>John looked at him with wide eyes again, his face flushing at the thought of seeing Paul again after not seeing him in hours. "Do you think he would want to see me? Maybe it'd be safe for only you to go."</p>
<p>George suddenly looked embarrassed, playing with his hands nervously as he spoke. "I want you to come with me though. I'd feel better if you were there."</p>
<p>Well shit.</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>Paul felt relieved that a new patient took the love struck Doc away from him.</p>
<p>Doc was watching creepily with a golden look of arousal on his flustered face as Paul texted George earlier. It threw the younger man off immensely, and it took all of Paul's power to not head butt the doctor with his 'gorgeous face' and all.</p>
<p>The younger man was sitting up now, using his left hand that didn't have much IV's on his arm, to ruffle his bed hair. Paul felt as if he looked a mess, his dark raven hair falling in front of his face, his lips possibly chapped with droopy tired eyes.</p>
<p>Oh well, fuck it. It reflects back on his life anyways.</p>
<p>Paul looked around for his clothes, his new ones, he hadn't known what the fuck they did with his old ones. So George, Ringo and..the associate all turned up here when he was possibly asleep. He trusted that George picked up Michael from school since he was sure enough that he slept through the time.</p>
<p>The nurse came into his room, happy to see that he was awake after being knocked out for the last hour. "Mr. McCartney! In the same  hospital too? Like father like son huh?" She joked, but instead of a fellow laugh she got a glare in return from that ignorant comment.</p>
<p>Clearing her throat to recover from the silence, she squeezed at the fluid bags above them gently.</p>
<p>Paul watched her for a few seconds, and then turned back towards the bedding so he wouldn't have to go through another sexually fueled staring contest with another worker.</p>
<p>"May I see your arm? I need to change the IV's."</p>
<p>Paul obeyed wordlessly, raising his right arm so the nurse could grab it gently. He hated this shit. That was no misconception.</p>
<p>Paul looked away, not wanting to see a fucking needle get removed from the inside of his arm, it was really triggering and disgusting.</p>
<p>While he did that, two familiar people walked into the hospital room. His best friend, and a bum that had ceased to fuck off.</p>
<p>"Paul!" George smiled, his brown eyes lighting up passionately at the sight. Something was off about him though, Paul could clearly see that.</p>
<p>He was too tired to try and pinpoint it out so he only smiled back at him. "George!"</p>
<p>John found it best to just keep quiet, and take in the ultra terrific sight of Paul. Just Paul looking so fucking angelic even in a bloody hospital gown. That man was just a force to not be reckon with, and he promised himself that one day he was going to have him. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but John made a vow that it was going to happen sooner or later.</p>
<p>George made his way towards the older man, leaning down to hug him gently, staying careful since the nurse was still working on his arm. "Ah Paul, I'm so glad you're okay." He sighed, nestling his face into the nest of hair on top of Paul's head.</p>
<p>"Wish I could say the same." Paul muttered as quiet as he could under his breath, it didn't go unnoticed by George and John though.</p>
<p>It made the oldest of the three upset.</p>
<p>"Paulie, you'll be alright."</p>
<p>"No, I won't."</p>
<p>George squeezed him tight to his chest, and John rolled his eyes from the jealousy having the audacity to pour in. 'This was a bad time to start acting up John, they're friends, or whatever. Plus George basically accepted you in a weird way, that's just one step closer to having Paul.' His angel voice had told him, which made him pout.</p>
<p>"Actually, he's right McCartney." The nurse co-signed with George, placing Paul's arm back down to his side. "Your vitals are doing well, and we're getting your blood sugar back up. You'll be back home within two days."</p>
<p>Paul looked at her sideways. "I already know that, but that doesn't mean I'm okay."</p>
<p>"As long as you take your medication, you'll be fine."</p>
<p>John rolled his eyes and parted his lips, his patience was thinning drastically with these pristine nurses that were so full of shit. "No shit he'll be fine if you take medication. That goes for anybody. I think what he's trying to say is that he's not going to FEEL fine."</p>
<p>Paul directed his gaze over towards John, and so did everyone else. Well that had shut his mouth wide the fuck open. How John was able to interpret exactly what Paul had meant was exceptionally impressive.</p>
<p>It made him speechless for a little while, but he gathered himself before George or the nurse could but in.</p>
<p>"Anyway, can I have some time alone with my um friendssss." Paul dragged the 's' out uncomfortably which made John roll his eyes.</p>
<p>"Sure, only for an hour or two though."</p>
<p>When the door came to a closed shut by the nurse. Paul half expected for John to walk out as well, but he didn't, so fuck it. "This crazy ass fucking doctor was literally hitting on me. I hope he's not coming back anytime soon because he literally took all the energy I had left."</p>
<p>John's eyes flared in magnificent interest from this subject.</p>
<p>George immediately frowned, "Like physically hitting on you or complimenting?"</p>
<p>"No dumbass, he was told me that I was handsome and he started calling me gorgeous. Then he said when I get out of here he should get my number."</p>
<p>"What the fuck?" George exclaimed, glancing over at John who was strolling around the room slowly as if he was a walking lion.</p>
<p>"Interesting." John murmured under his breath, and then he spoke aloud. "Well I don't blame him."</p>
<p>Paul was caught off guard with that one, and a blush spread across his cheeks. "I was hoping you'd leave with the nurse." He spat, which made George flinch at the side of him.</p>
<p>John squinted at him for a few seconds, and then he walked over towards the younger one that was placed on the bed.</p>
<p>"Hey, what are you doing? Stay over there!" Paul began, eyes widening when John got even closer to him, basically climbing on top of his hospital bed.</p>
<p>"You know you really scared the shit out of me at my house earlier." John said, talking to him in a seriously firm voice since he actually was serious.</p>
<p>Paul parted his lips to say something, possibly call out George for just standing there with a slightly amused expression on his face. Okay - that was weird. Why isn't George slapping the fuck out of John right now? How long was he REALLY knocked out?</p>
<p>Paul's breath hitched softly from sheer surprise when he noticed the close proximity between him and the older.</p>
<p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">John looked so..</span>
</p>
<p><em>Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit</em>.</p>
<p>Before he could say anything in response, John talked again. "I thought I'd never see those pretty eyes again. It'd really make me upset if something drastic happens to that pretty face before I could kiss it."</p>
<p>Holy <em>fuck</em> that was —</p>
<p>Paul slapped his palm flat on John's face.</p>
<p>With an irritated huff, the younger turned his head towards George with pleading eyes. "Mind helping me here?” <span class="Apple-converted-space">Paul asked, trying his best to shove John’s face away from him. </span></p>
<p>"John move before you get sedated."</p>
<p>"Excuse me gentlemen, what is going on here?" Doc said, which made John lift his hand up to wrench Paul's hand off of his face.</p>
<p>John ignored the noticeable size difference of their hands as he clutched onto Paul's smaller hand.</p>
<p>"We're having a reunion Doc." George snidely answered before tracing his attention back to John.</p>
<p>"Please get off of the bed son, and get off of the patient. That is not permitted." Doc spat, pointing over at John who was straddling Paul.</p>
<p>He was blatantly ignoring George, which made the situation even more hilarious to John.</p>
<p>John did get off however, but much to Paul's annoyance he was still clutching onto his hand. John was in love with how soft it was, so warm and blanketed in his larger hand.</p>
<p>So when he felt the extremely painful feeling of nails breaking into his skin, and making his hand spontaneously bleed he snatched his hand away from Paul's quickly to look at the nail marks he had made.</p>
<p>'That's so fucking hot, holy shit.' John thought to himself as he gazed at the little droplets of blood formulating on his skin.</p>
<p>"Please do not get on top of my patients." Doc had said after a beat, which immediately caught John's attention.</p>
<p>"Are you the doctor that tried to ask him out?" George boldly asked him, shooting straight to the point as soon as he witnessed how protective the older man was.</p>
<p>Paul felt his face go red from everything that's been happening in the last couple of seconds. Right now, all he wanted was John and that fucking Doc to <em>leave</em> the planet for as long as he lived.</p>
<p>"What? That is very inappropriate, I could never do such a thing."</p>
<p>"Don't be so modest Doc, I mean look at him." John said, placing his hand on top of Paul's head as if he was a dog. "Who wouldn't want t—"</p>
<p>George slapped the fuck out of the back of John's head, which caused the older to immediately clutch onto his scalp. "Ouch!"</p>
<p>Paul covered his face, and the Doc just cleared his throat. "Anyway, I just came in here to check on McCartney to see how he was doing. This is the longest he has been awake since the last time he woke up earlier."</p>
<p>"There was a nurse already in here about several minutes before you marched in. Why don't you just let him breathe?" George complained, feeling as if there was too many interruptions. "If Paul had an issue, we'd go and find you in a hurry."</p>
<p>"I know, I trust that you'd do that, but still."</p>
<p>— Paul removed his hand off of his flustered face, and glanced over at John who was watching the bickering between George and the Doc.</p>
<p>'This guy, this guy is fucking something,' Paul had thought intently.</p>
<p>His hazel eyes narrowed in annoyance from how weirdly hot John is to him, and it pissed him off even more than John's simple existence.</p>
<p>Seriously though, what the <em>hell</em> was John's problem?</p>
<p>John must've caught him staring, because he quickly whipped his gaze over towards Paul which led to the the younger snapping his gaze forward.</p>
<p>"Um Doc, is there a way I can leave here earlier?" Paul asked, gracefully interrupting the heated exchange between the Doc and George.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>Paul twisted his lips to the side as he tried to register a reason. He only called out for the doctor because he definitely didn't want to get into a sexually fueled staring contest with John Lennon. Literally, anyone but him, even the fucking nurse that was here earlier.</p>
<p>Paul nonetheless built up a wall though.</p>
<p>"I feel absolutely fine, I just want to leave here at least tomorrow in the afternoon. Not the next two days."</p>
<p>George listened for a bit and then he nodded slowly, catching onto Paul's request. "Yeah, and we'll make sure that he takes the medication given to him. Our Paul is never good in hospitals."</p>
<p>John hummed in agreement, pressing his lips against the cut of Paul's nails on his hand.</p>
<p>Doc looked hesitant, but from the pleading expression on Paul's face, he couldn't help but to give in anyway. "We'll see how you do tomorrow morning, and then we can discuss discharging you."</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter was dragged out for no reason a good half was supposed to be in the next chapter lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. text</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had to rewrite this several times, chop it up, delete some parts, add some so this chap will just be short</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's about time you two came back." Ringo welcomed, a friendly voice greeting both John and George as they made their way up the doorstep.</p><p>"Oh was Mimi a hassle for you?" John asked lowly, raising a brow as he stepped inside of his home.</p><p>"No, she was right nice she was."</p><p>George hummed, eyes glancing around the house as he made his way inside. "Where's Michael?" He worriedly asked, while turning around to look at Ringo.</p><p>"Sent him right to sleep."</p><p>John huffed, and then put on a tired smile while gently shoving the two men out of the doorway. He has seen enough of them for one day. "Alright, now you two need to scram out of my house so I can get some sleep."</p><p>"Wait John, I need to tell you something." George said, swatting John's hand away from him as he moved forward from the door. "I'm.. well- I don't know about Paul, but I just want to thank you."</p><p>This caught John and Ringo completely off guard.</p><p>"What?" John asked with a soft blush, feeling flattered but nonetheless taken back by the sudden warmness.</p><p>"For some reason.. I guess your wit made me warm up to you Lennon. Can't say the same about Paul though, I'm pretty sure he hates you."</p><p>John broke into a slow smile at that, and bowed his head in embarrassment from how obvious his infatuation for Paul is. He wasn't ashamed, just fairly embarrassed that he can't keep his guard up around the younger man.</p><p>"He'll soon learn to love me, if you could do it. Then Paul could too."</p><p>••</p><p>John, naked and wet from a hot shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, opened up the imessage app to Paul's contact. He had no actual clue if the man was awake at this hour, and he honestly didn't give a fuck.</p><p>If Paul wasn't going to be his lover at the moment, then they should at least become friends. Just like how George is friends with Paul, and just like how George is now friends with John.</p><p>All John needs to do is have the younger warm up to him, and that would seal the deal to a future relationship.</p><p>                                             me: are u up?</p><p>John felt dumb as hell. What kind of text is that? The first text of this new experiment and it has already gone fucking haywire. He felt so stupid, so flustered at the fact that he was texting someone as beautiful as fucking Paul without any repercussions.</p><p>Maybe he should just —</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Holy shit, he's typing. Paul was typing back.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: who is this?</p><p>John bit his lip to keep from smiling hard, he made his way over to the toilet and plopped down it to text him back. He honestly wouldn't even care if Paul immediately blocked his number, he was just ecstatic that they were texting.</p><p>Fuck - he felt like a bloody bird, but it was worth the serotonin strengthening that picture perfect smile on his face.</p><p>                              me: it's john ( ^ω^ )</p><p>my gorgeous doll: ur so fucking annoying. delete my number you creep.</p><p>John threw his head back, laughing like he was a fucking maniac. Something about that fucking message made everything absolutely hilarious to him.</p><p>Paul wasn't intimidating to him - or so he thought.</p><p>               me: why're u always so rude 2 me?</p><p>my gorgeous doll: bc i don't like you??</p><p>                              me: u was nice to me in the grocery store tho i don't understand :/</p><p>Paul hadn't responded back under a minute as John waited impatiently, so he just decided to double text.</p><p>          me: ik i'm an asshole but i rly do like u</p><p>my gorgeous doll: that's adorable. now pls delete my number b4 i block you.</p><p>                            me: listen, i know how u feel ab michael living here. ik that it upsets u.</p><p>      me: for you, i'll even help u get him back.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: ur bullshitting, don't speak on something you don't have control over.</p><p>         me: i might not, but i'll try and convince my aunt.</p><p>John had lied, Paul was definitely fucking intimidating.</p><p>He hadn't registered how hard it would be to have a one-on-one talk with Paul, without any fainting or a third party. Just them.</p><p>He was hardheaded, aggressive and upfront.</p><p>Maybe that's why John liked him, Paul reminds him of himself. It was like a mirror. Yet, they were still entirely different.</p><p>The next text, well the tone of it came out a bit softer and genuine than all the other messages Paul had sent.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: ...why're are u doing this? what do you want from me?</p><p>                          me: i don't want anything else than to be closer to you. hell, i lost my job to let u get groceries for free so lol</p><p>my gorgeous doll: you're joking..</p><p>                         me: my boss was super fucking mad. i didn't listen to a word he said while he was ranting at me</p><p>my gorgeous doll: lmfaoo ur a lunatic</p><p>                                        me: only for you ❤️😁</p><p>my gorgeous doll: so..unemployed huh?</p><p>                                    me: yeah. my aunt was on my ass about it the day before you guys came here. i guess that was why she was so irritable, so sry for that.</p><p>                     me: we had an argument, and i had to leave because it got so bad.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: yikes :/ sucks for you lol</p><p>                                 me: lmaoo what could i do to make you at least become friends with me?</p><p>my gorgeous: leaving me alone could work! :)</p><p>John's mouth popped opened in utter disbelief as he read that message.</p><p>To be honest, head a small formation of annoyance building up inside of him from how hard Paul was playing to get. It was not as if John tried to make a move on him, or openly tried to smother him with kisses or anything.</p><p>                   me: i want to help u out, i'm so serious. i wouldn't bring it up if i didn't mean it.</p><p>On the other end, Paul was sitting up in his hospital bed, sitting native style with a thick blanket covering him all over.</p><p>He was indeed kind of tired, but for the life of him he couldn't seem to stop texting this man and go to sleep.</p><p>Paul was originally was just going to straight up block John as soon as he said his name in the text message, but he was kind of curious as to what the older wanted from him.</p><p>'To get closer? What the fuck does that supposed to mean?' Paul had thought to himself with an adorable furrow of his eyebrows.</p><p>Why can't this man just leave him alone? Paul was obviously not interested.</p><p>Or maybe he—</p><p>Yeah no, he wasn't interested. Or so he thought.</p><p>Yet Paul, had noticed John was basically pleading for him to hear him out. John wanted to help Paul get custody of his brother.</p><p>There was so many questions and statements in his head that was like: 'What if he just wants sex out of this?' then there was, 'Why does he want to do this for me so bad?' so many assumptions in his brain that made his anxiety twitch.</p><p>Paul felt something inside of him itch, something that he couldn't scratch and it was driving him crazy. All he wanted to do, needed to do is tell John to fuck off and leave him alone.</p><p>At the same time, he wanted any and every opportunity to have Michael close to him. He'd take it without any hesitation.</p><p>John, unfortunately, was that opportunity right now. Hell he was right when he said that he lost his job for Paul, so why wouldn't he help Paul get his brother back?</p><p>Paul has forced himself to relax himself, suddenly feeling uncomfortably vulnerable as he gently pressed his thumbs against the keyboard to type down another message.</p><p>Back over at John's he smiled when Paul finally returned a text back to him.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: you're rly weird</p><p>                                             me: how so?</p><p>my gorgeous doll: idk u just are..</p><p>                              me: give me an example</p><p>my gorgeous doll: michael saw your porn magazines. ur weird for having it laying out like that.</p><p>                         me: those weren't even mine</p><p>'Damnit Stuart,' John cursed under his breath as he ran a hand through his wet hair. It seemed as if the actual context of him cursing at Stuart was something scheduled to think about for later on.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: they were literally in YOUR room.</p><p>                      me: my best friend stuart left them there.. i guess he forgot to bring it :/</p><p>my gorgeous doll: well tell 'stuart, from state farm' to keep his business private.</p><p>                      me: that was just one instance and it was a bad example of me being weird</p><p>John scratched his neck when he witnessed how long Paul was typing. He already concluded this wouldn't be so merry, so when he finally got the message back, he wasn't surprised to see what was sent. Instead he was more so amused.</p><p>To him it seemed as if Paul was a brat.</p><p>my gorgeous doll: then fuck it. idc. all i know is that you're an asshole, and i doubt you could do anything significant to help me and my brother. so drop it, and leave me alone. </p><p>                      me: i'm the same asshole that saved ur life though, and the asshole that didn't spill out what happened to my aunt yet.</p><p>John felt low for that, but he felt as if he was pushed to the very brink just from the way Paul was keyboard smashing to him. What else was he supposed to say? John was feeling a bit irritated, a mixture of confused as he opted on whether he should delete that message or not.</p><p>The next second, John saw a small template that said this contact had blocked him.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. small world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>paul is dense, but he gets the spirit!! :)<br/>excuse the errors, i just needed to push this one out.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Michael, Mike, little guy, chump, weasel. Wakey, wakey, it's time to play with Johnny." John announced, flickering the light of Michael's room on and off as he held the hot cup of tea in his hand.</p><p>To be honest, he wanted to get closer with Paul's brother and since it was a Saturday, he thought it would be appropriate to take the boy out of town. John could call George for a ride around, and they'd all hang out, a refresher from the horrific day before.</p><p>Michael groaned, shifting around and pulling the blanket up and over his head. </p><p>"Wake up kiddo." John chuckled, strolling over towards the bed and reaching a hand out to gently shake the younger boy.</p><p>Right when he placed his hand on Michael's body, he immediately knew something was wrong.</p><p>"Woah, woah son, you're fucking burning. Are you alright?" John asked, he placed the cup of tea down onto the nightstand and quickly whipped the blankets off of Michael to feel different areas to see if he was just tripping out.</p><p>"Uh, uh." Michael rasped, tremors running through him and he then he pointed towards the opened window across his room. Of course it was admitting cold fall air into the room, and of course Michael was going to become ill. "Window, o-opened all night. Throat- I can't- my throat."</p><p>"Shit." John muttered, sprinting towards the window to shut it. "Who left the bloody window opened? You could catch pneumonia, if you don't already have it."</p><p>"John, hug, please." Michael said his name for the first time in awhile, it struck John to notice how ill Michael had really felt.</p><p>John chuckled, making his way towards the baby boy who was now shakily sitting up.</p><p>"Now what if I get sick too hm?" He softly asked, which made Michael giggle tiredly, but John nonetheless wrapped his arms around Michael to hug him tightly.</p><p>Fuck this kid was sick as hell, he was burning up extremely bad.</p><p>John lifted him up off of the bed, holding onto him and Michael didn't complain. His limbs were dangling scarily off of John's shoulders which made the older become a bit nervous. It was always something going on with the McCartney's being sick with shit. He wondered if it was a family thing, becoming really ill and scaring other people.</p><p>John sat Michael down on the counter top in the kitchen, and paced around the kitchen to gather different cold substances to break that fever.</p><p>"Please just sit here and try not to fall off." John said, cringing at his orders. If he was ever going to become a father, he would be horrible at the job.</p><p>"Okay." Michael tiredly replied, his voice so hoarse it sounded like he went through puberty already at seven years old.</p><p>At that second, John bolted from the kitchen to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Quickly, he grasped at the thermometer, then the tylenol, read the label and then put the tylenol back. "Fuck, kids can't take that shit." He murmured, and then he rummaged around a bit until he pulled out some children's ibuprofen that Mimi accidentally bought when John had the flu.</p><p>John had then sprinted out of the bathroom, back into the kitchen, tripped over his footing which caused him to stumble. Eventually, he met up with Michael again back into the kitchen and thankfully the boy was sitting upright with droopy eyes.</p><p>"Good boy, you did as I said." John said, placing the medicine down on the counter top then running the thermometer under the sink to wash the residue of the last person who used it off. "Okay, just got to stick something in your glob real quick."</p><p>Michael, a brave boy, just shrugged and opened his mouth as John began to glide the thermometer under his tongue. "Nice, nice now you may close your mouth Sir McCartney." John had said in a goofy posh voice that made Michael giggle gently around the thermometer.</p><p>John pushed at the small button to turn it on, waiting a few minutes as the thermometer measured the heat inside of Michael's body. </p><p>Michael had his eyes closed, dozing off with the damn stick in his mouth and it made John snicker under his breath. Damned kids these days.</p><p>Ultimately, the thermometer beeped and John pulled it out of Michael's mouth to look at it.</p><p>'103.2'</p><p>"Fuck." John muttered, and placed the thermometer down beside the child. "Hot as the sun kid."</p><p>"My throat hurts." Michael said, voice cracking as he placed his small hands against the column of his throat. "It even hurts breathing through it."</p><p>"I got just the medicine Sir McCartney." John said, moving onto the medicine. He held it up to his ear and shook it to see if it was pills or liquid. </p><p>Pills.</p><p>When Michael heard the rattling his eyes widened with immediate fear. He hated pills, a lot, for some reason he kept thinking that it would get stuck in his throat and he would die.</p><p>From the terrified expression on Michael's face John quickly whisked his way over towards the fridge. He opened it and got a small bottle of apple juice out. "Alright son, relax. Doctor John has got you." John said, removing the cap off of the bottle and setting it down on the counter.</p><p>Michael watched tiredly as John began to plop the pills into the sweet liquid, his widened eyes followed the bottle moving towards his mouth. "I don't like pills." He told John, fear evident in his voice.</p><p>"I figured, just act as if you're just drinking apple juice and let the pills slide in."</p><p>Michael was too ill to try and run, so he just took the bottle the bottle in his hand, staring at it for a few seconds before gulping down. With every swallow, Michael winced in pain from the tenderness bruising the back of his throat.</p><p>"Good, good, you don't have to drink all of it if it's too painful to swallow." John gently said, sort of surprised at himself for being so attentive.</p><p>Michael finished the bottle anyway, placing it down beside him with a soft burp. "Hey John? Why did you and George leave me with Ringo?" He suddenly asked, as he tilted his head to the side innocently.</p><p>John only made a face, and intently thought about it for a bit. George's excuse was that Michael simply did not need to see Paul like that, and that was understandable. Yet, Michael had told them that he already knew about Paul's issues but the depth of that is unknown. It didn't make sense to John - nothing did actually.</p><p>John grabbed at Michael's arms, lifting him up off of the counter and setting him down on the kitchen floor. "You'll find out when you get older." He answered, but it only caused Michael to stare at him deadpanned.</p><p>"I'm not stupid." Michael suddenly told him, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>"No one said you were. You're just sick, and young. It's not a good combo to handle serious situations."</p><p>Before the younger could even respond back to that comment, Michael had a cough attack into his forearm, his face flushing with an ill pink tint.</p><p>"But you will see your brother today." John said as he grasped at the little one's wrist to make his way towards the bedroom, not missing the way Michael's face lit up.</p><p>•••</p><p>Paul sat in his hospital bed with a new sweatshirt on, and of course the hoodie was covering his head if that Doc so happens to cross paths with his room again. Fortunately, the raven haired recovered approximately twenty-four hours since the incident had occurred. It was shocking to the staff that he was being discharged so soon after an alarming seizure.</p><p>He had texted George to come pick him up earlier, and that was it. After the virtual run-in with John, he felt drained to socialize with anyone else. Especially George, assumptions of the younger man giving Paul's number out to John invaded Paul's headspace significantly.</p><p>To Paul, the trust between them was somewhat strained, and he knows that when he does meet up with George again it would be awkward on his end.</p><p>The idea of it made him sulk. He hates being mad at George, hell he doesn't even know whether he's mad or not. If George did give John his number, it might have opened up some type of path way for Paul.</p><p>The opportunity of turning to John still hasn't really abandoned that one part of his brain.</p><p>Thinking of George, an involuntary sad expression became wired on his face as he stared at Candy Crush platform on his phone.</p><p>Speak of the devil, Paul looked up from rapid footsteps to see the younger bloke right at his doorway. George smiled at him, eyes beaming just as bright as his smile. "Hey! Look at you, good as new hm? It was as if you just spent the night over here just to do so." He exclaimed, his scent of tea made it to Paul's nose first.</p><p>Paul chewed on his bottom lip, shutting his phone off and standing up off of the bed with a bag of his old clothes. "I have to get my medicine at a pharmacy down the block."</p><p>"Of course Paulie. Let's go then before that creep of a doctor comes and bug you." George said, holding out his hand for Paul to take.</p><p>Instead the older was already two paces ahead of George as he sulked past the younger one. George made a face, 'odd' he had thought, and then he shoved his hands into his pockets while he followed behind Paul.</p><p>In the car, George whipped out his phone while Paul was buckling himself up silently. The younger took his time eyeing through the messages between him and John earlier that morning. "Ah, it seems like Mikey's caught a bug. John said he was ill all morning." George said, glancing over at Paul to hear his response.</p><p>Paul hummed, trying his best not to roll his eyes at his best friend. "I'll get medicine for him then." </p><p>"Wait, John said that he already gave him some ibuprofen, but for children though. He also said that he fixed Michael some tea, and soup."</p><p>Paul became silent, his hazel eyes locked on the registration tags on a car that was parked in front of them.</p><p>"Did you hear me?" George asked, becoming concerned at the silence. "Are you feeling alright?"</p><p>Paul nodded, furrowing his eyebrows into a frown as he pulled on the drawstrings of his hoodie. "Yes, I'm fine and I heard you. Can you just drive now?"</p><p>George made a face, wanting to argue but he decided it was best not to rile up Paul.</p><p>He obviously wasn't in the best of his moods.</p><p>So when George actually started driving in the middle of the road, he reached over and turned bluetooth on from the stereo in the car. George had then pulled out his phone, keeping his eyes on the road, and handed the device towards Paul. "Play watermelon sugar or something. You're all sad and moody this morning."</p><p>Paul glared at the phone as if it took his money, but then he stubbornly snatched it. "Fuck off, will you?"<span class="Apple-converted-space"> He squawked irritatedly.</span></p><p>"You still took the phone."</p><p>"Suck my dick." Paul immediately clapped back, turning on the whole Fine Line album instead.</p><p>George frowned, turned the volume down, and side eyed Paul who seemed to wear a pout. "No seriously, what's wrong with you? It sounded like you meant that."</p><p>Paul felt as if he was being such a fucking baby. Which was true, since the last person he should be giving a hard time was George Harrison.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Paul murmured, not attempting make eye contact with the younger. George was driving anyways, so why should he even be looking at Paul?</p><p>"That's not a reason for you telling me to suck your dick."</p><p>Paul suddenly became flustered, a blush creeping up his cheeks at how suggestive the shit sounded when it came from George. So instead of out right admitting what he was sorry for, he purposely dragged the current conversation out.</p><p>"What if I had no reasoning? What if I really wanted your mouth on my cock Georgie?"</p><p>George almost crashed the fucking car. Paul snickered under his breath and tried not to flat out smile, he still wanted to act as if he was furious at George.</p><p>He busted out laughing, his face a crimson red as he tried to gather himself before they both perish stupidly. "You know I'm responsible for your life right now as I'm driving this car?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>George eventually got himself together, face turning back into a normal color but there a blush on his cheeks still. "Anyway, seriously tell me why you snapped at me like that. Not just now, but earlier too."</p><p>Paul sighed, and chewed on the side of his cheek as he tried to say this without embarrassing himself. "John had texted me." He said, moving his gaze towards the window. "And I thought you gave him my number."</p><p>George didn't say anything at that, instead he panicked and reached to turn the volume up to escape the situation.</p><p>Paul swiftly slapped his wrist away, and faced the younger man. "Why aren't you justifying yourself?"</p><p>"Paul you idiot, this is my favorite song! Stop it!"</p><p>"You don't even like fine line!" Paul argued, and then he grew upset. "So you did give him my number!"</p><p>"Not intentionally!"</p><p>Paul growled cutely, and shoved George's extending hand away from the stereo again. "What do you mean not intentionally?! He was texting me all night last night!"</p><p>"He took my phone and wrote the number down." George said calmly, thumping Paul’s hand away so he could successfully turn the radio up. "I was too distracted by your condition to give a fuck honestly."</p><p>Paul frowned, parting his lips to say something else.</p><p>"But! Why didn't you just block him?"</p><p>"I did."</p><p>George exhaled, and rolled his eyes. "You know Paul, we might be wrong about him. He's not as much of a douche I thought he was. The time I spent with him yesterday.. he's a real nice lad, funny, hot, funny."</p><p>Paul scoffed, an unfamiliar feeling in his stomach bottling up from that comment. "Oh did he let you steal a bunch of groceries too? And he's not hot. Why do you think he's hot? You're not supposed to think that." He rambled, not even knowing where he was going with the second half of that statement.</p><p>"I just said he was hot, can you calm down before you have a stroke?"</p><p>"Stop calling him hot George!" Paul spat, genuinely feeling angry with his friend calling John hot.</p><p>That confused both George AND Paul.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Paul parted his lips to layout a bunch of reasons why, but the only thing that he pathetically spat out was: "Because I don't like it."</p><p>George noticed the evident tremor in Paul's voice, and he sighed. "Okay, I'll stop calling him hot."</p><p>Paul sat there for a few seconds, feeling like a full time clown that worked at a nearby circus.</p><p>What the fuck was that about? Is he having some type of side effect from the medication? Why did he feel so offended from George complimenting John's appearance? If George liked the way John looked then that was none of Paul's business.</p><p>Hell, even Paul thought John was hot at firstso why was he so mad?</p><p>If George thought John was cute, plus the other way around and if they untimely started fucking each other —</p><p>Oh yeah, Paul definitely didn't like that feeling.</p><p>From the thought of George and John fucking he felt like he couldn't <em>breathe</em>.</p><p>Wait, does he have a fucking crush on his best friend or something?</p><p>Paul's eyes widened as he continued to stare at George.</p><p>"You're hot too, if that's why you're still staring." George said, breaking the silence with a joking tone to his voice.</p><p>Paul looked away, blushing furiously as he hid his face into his sweatshirt again.</p><p>He prayed silently that it was all the medication given to him from the hospital, and only the medication.</p><p>••</p><p>Arriving at the pharmacy, Paul and George walked in like they were apart of the mafia. Their aura was captivating —</p><p>Or maybe it was because George had his phone blasting Fine Line on full volume which made elderly women stare at them in irritation.</p><p>"I'll wait in line for your stuff, just to get back on your good side though." George told Paul who rolled his eyes playfully at that. "Be right back" The younger said, walking over towards the pharmacy desk right behind the short middle aged man that stood there.</p><p>Paul dragged his tongue along the under side of his mouth as he strolled along the drug aisle. He innocently wondered if there was actual percocet, and molly like the rappers on the radio would talk about.</p><p>So as he ventured towards the much more harmful side of the drug store, he was enraptured with all the potentially dangerous stuff that was unashamedly put here.</p><p><em>Opioids</em>.</p><p><em>Oxytocin</em>.</p><p><em>Demerol</em>.</p><p>Paul ran his fingers over the containers, wanting to read the label for some reason.</p><p>"Thinking about getting that?"</p><p>He jumped almost out of his clothes, and quickly turned around to see a stranger whom was actually Johnny's Stuart. Paul blushed, moving away from the drugs as embarrassment shot through his body.</p><p>"No, I was just- I wanted to see if it was real." Paul said, feeling immensely dumb from that shitty type of reasoning.</p><p>"What? Of course these are real." Stuart laughed, which caused Paul to almost roll his eyes but he didn't want to be rude. Stuart continued, but with a whisper to his voice as he stepped closer towards Paul. "I get these all the time for my friends whenever we want to get high. Especially if acids aren't available by our usual dealer."</p><p>"Nice." Paul nodded, tugging his hood tighter over his head from the fact that he was talking to a possible junkie. "I uh- got to go now."</p><p>Stuart studied him, and much to Paul's disadvantage he leaned in closer as if he was trying to read him. Paul chewed on his lip nervously as he tried to move back, wanting to desperately escape the hard gaze given to him by Stuart.</p><p>Why when every time he's trying to do something, someone has to check him out?</p><p>Paul couldn't be THAT attractive, could he?</p><p>"My name's Stuart, so if you ever come here again. I want you to recognize me so I won't have to scare you again." Stuart said, stepping back to give Paul his much needed space.</p><p>Paul had pinched his brows together. "Stuart?" He questioned, context clues clicking in.</p><p>Was he John's friend?</p><p>There's no way. The world isn't that small.</p><p>Yet, he also hadn't expected for John to be watching over his sick little brother now after meeting him at a grocery store.</p><p>"Mhm, yes. Stuart. What’s your name princess?"</p><p>Paul let the 'princess' part fly over his head as he hesitantly answered. "Paul."</p><p>Stuart smiled, and stepped closer to the younger again which caused Paul to tense up. "Can I take a picture with you doll? It's not usual to meet someone as beautiful as you at a drug store."</p><p>Paul felt as if he was in the middle of a tug of war between that sexy Doc, John, George (maybe, he still wasn't sure if he had a crush on him or not), and now Stuart. It all made him dizzy, somewhat uncomfortable, and maybe a little flattered.</p><p>Paul broke out of his spell though. "No, I just-"</p><p>Stuart pulled Paul in by an arm around his waist anyways, holding his phone up to take a picture of the two of them. Paul looked up at the camera, an unintentionally innocent expression on his face as he tried to get ahold of his thoughts.</p><p>Stuart took the pic, unwrapping his arm from around the younger's waist. "Well, thank you a lot for that. You've made my day Paul."</p><p>Paul awkwardly stepped away from the older man, mumbling an absentminded: "You're welcome."</p><p>"Paul get over here idiot!" George yelled across the pharmacy, which caused Paul to sprint over towards the much needed comfort voice.</p><p>This day was going to be a long one.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. british america</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>letting u know now, the title of the chapters usually have nothing to do with the story. </p><p>oh yes, there’s a kiss in this chap but it rly is just paul being a crackhead.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John opened the door, letting Paul and George enter the home quietly. Of course, he let his eyes linger on the raven haired man who was already immensely annoyed from his surroundings.</p><p>"Mimi's walking around with a bad mood, so we can all just go to my room since Michael's sleep." John said, closing the door right after they stepped inside.</p><p>Paul wanted to argue back, saying something like: 'I came here for Michael not to go in your stupid room' but instead he was focused on George who happily trotted to the destination without any regard for human life.</p><p>John ran a hand up the small of Paul's back which caused the younger to tense up, and turn around shoving John back. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He whispered-yelled, a blush spreading across his cheeks.</p><p>"You stood in the same spot for about two minutes, I wanted to make sure you wasn't going to faint again." John said, winking at the end of his sentence which made Paul recoil.</p><p>"Suck my dick you asshole." Paul spat, stepping closer to John which made the older back up mockingly against the wall.</p><p>"I'll do it right now, don't even tempt me."</p><p>Paul blinked at that. "Stay away from me." He said, something lingering in his voice that John didn't notice, he had then turnt around to follow behind George.</p><p>Cooped up in the room, George lifted himself up from hanging upside down on John's bed. "You cleaned it up, it looks better than the last time we were here. I wish Ringo could've came."</p><p>"Yeah, me too." John said, although he was distracted playing an online game on his computer at the desk in the corner. "He's a funny lad, I should call him here."</p><p>Paul sat at the end of the bed, hood on and arms crossed over his chest. He kept his eyes trained on George, trying his best to filter out what attracted him to the younger man. George was undeniably handsome - there's no crossing that out.</p><p>Paul thought he was hypnotic to look at, but he couldn't find out the reasoning why he was so upset that George was complimenting John out of all people.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Paul didn’t feel this way when George would call another person cute. So why did he suddenly feel the urge to give him the cold shoulder whenever he’d compliment John?</span>
</p><p>Hell, he didn't even feel better when George complimented him after the ‘don’t all him hot’ fiasco.</p><p>Fuck, what is up with him lately?</p><p>"Macca, I want to show you something."</p><p>Paul and George exchanged confused looks at John's sudden call. Paul seemingly left John's sudden 'mating call' for George to answer, <em>hm imagine</em> - instead he only moved his legs up so that he was hugging his knees against his chest.</p><p>George looked over at John. "Who?"</p><p>"Macca, Paul." John repeated, this time pointing over at Paul, capturing the raven haired beauty's attention. "I want to show you something."</p><p>"Leave me alone."</p><p>George looked over at Paul, which made the older flush under the weight of his gaze. "Just go to him already, damn. Stop being a brat." He said lowly, which made Paul bite at his bottom lip.</p><p>'Okay, if you're going to have a crush on George —' Paul thought in his mind as he clambered off of the bed to walk over towards John. 'You've got to stay on his good side and not annoy him, then maybe he'll like you back!'</p><p>It all sounded so weird and secondary schoolish to Paul, but he didn't know any other option to go with.</p><p>Paul padded his way towards John, standing behind him awkwardly as the older man sat back in his chair. He hadn't expected for John to look up at him upside down, which caused the younger to blush when their eyes aligned.</p><p>Paul’s throat felt sore suddenly as if he had been screaming for hours, especially when John began to smile charmingly. </p><p>‘Dick.’ Paul said in his head.</p><p>"Alright, let me get up real quick." John said, pushing back a bit to stand up from his chair.</p><p>Paul watched expectantly, wanting to creep back into the bed and curl up like he was doing earlier.</p><p>"Now, sit down in this chair."</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes at that and scoffed at John's demand. "I'm not a dog, you can't just tell me what to-" He was cut off.</p><p>John manhandled him again, pulling his wrist to force the younger to plop down on the chair and push him against the desk. "Good boy, now put these on." John said, placing the headphones on top of his head and over his ears.</p><p>Paul was stunned, feeling ridiculously — hot from such sudden control John had over him.</p><p>Ew, ew, ewww!</p><p>Snap out of it Paul before you start drooling.</p><p>John's hands were placed on top of his smaller ones as they both fucked around with the mouse pad, opening up the game John was playing. "Alright, now this is what you have to do." John began, concentration on his face as he moved the mouse around.</p><p>"Hey! I don't want to play this game!" Paul whined, even though he just gave up all his senses when he felt the soft puffs of John's breath against the back of his neck.</p><p>"Don't care, you're not just going to be sitting at the end of my bed all pouty and stuff like a baby."</p><p>Paul was glad John couldn't see how red his face was. "Shut up." He muttered, a frown forming on his face. "I don't want to play this dumb game."</p><p>"At least let me teach you."</p><p>If this was in text, Paul would just block him again. Yet the genuine desperation in John's voice made something shift inside of Paul.</p><p>And fuck was he sold.</p><p>His shoulders sagged, and he relaxed which made his tense muscles somewhat sore. "Fuck it, fine, just- what do I need to do then?"</p><p>John smiled, and immediately clicked on settings. Then went to 'new game' which gave them an avatar selection. "Okay, okay, so basically you have to customize your character first and then give them a weapon. Since you're a rookie, you'll play with other rookies until you level up."</p><p>The excitement in John's voice did make the corner of Paul's mouth twitch up a bit.</p><p>"How um.. how many levels are there?" Paul asked, somewhat shy and hidden as if John was going to scream at him.</p><p>George watched the two with a curious gaze, and then he made an assumption that they would be cute together. But of course, he wouldn't let Paul know that.</p><p>That would have him killed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/></span></p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">George giggled under his breath at the thought.</span>
</p><p>•••</p><p>As time went by, the afternoon had soon came alight and John was watching Paul play the game while George took a nap. John helped Paul get through the rookie level until the younger caught the hang of it, and soon enough he was on the elite team. It was a level under John's, but it was impressive enough.</p><p>"Fuck. It's so hard to get passed this level." Paul complained to himself, gently removing his head phones and shaking his head to bring his hair out more.</p><p>"Yeah it took me about a year." John agreed, standing up from sitting on the floor. Which made Paul curiously look over at him to watch what he was doing. "You've got a guitar Macca?"</p><p>Paul hummed, and glanced over at a sleeping George expectantly then back at John. "My mother had one." He answered, leaving it at that.</p><p>"Oh. My mom had a banjo."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>John nodded as he thought back to how his mother spent hours teaching him how to play it. "Yeah, she loved to sing with it too. Mostly Elvis songs."</p><p>Paul made a small 'ah' sound in response, to be honest he felt awkward. He wasn't usually the one to hold up a conversation anyway, especially with someone he doesn't really like. This was the time where he wished George was awake.</p><p>John cleared his throat, and proceeded to make his way towards the closet door. "Anyway, I bought a guitar not too long ago and I wanted to play a song I wrote for you."</p><p>Paul blushed, frowning at the thought. "You're kidding. You can't be serious."</p><p>John made a bland expression, staring deadpanned into Paul's face. "I'm not laughing."</p><p>Paul looked away, back to George who was still asleep, and then back over to John. "What is wrong with you? Why can't you get the hint?" Paul softly asked, beginning to heat up under John's gaze.</p><p>"There's no hint to figure out." John said, before smiling the wittiest smile to Paul. "I'll be yours one day, and you'll be mine."</p><p>"Can you cut it out?" The younger asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "I. Don't. LIKE. You."</p><p>John put his guitar down at the end of the bed, and folded his hands behind his back. "You say that now, I know you're hiding something inside of yourself when it comes to me. And I'm not even being narcissistic." He said, slowly creeping towards the younger man who was still sitting in his chair.</p><p>Paul felt violated, but he was still curious about this whole situation nonetheless. "I don't understand, why are you doing so much for me? You- you barely even know me." He said, just now noticing how John moved closer to him.</p><p>They were inches apart from each other, and for some reason the proximity made Paul even more flustered.</p><p>"Do you want to know why? Do you want me to show you?" John asked, before abruptly placing his hands on each side of the arm on the chair, caging Paul in.</p><p>Paul couldn't form any words, his eyes grew larger than they possibly could when suddenly one of John's fingers were on his skin. Tilting his head upwards.</p><p>"I guess that's a yes." The older said, and then he closed his eyes leaning in which caused Paul to squeak in panic.</p><p>As soon as their lips were even close to grazing each other, Paul's flight or fight kicked in immediately.</p><p>The raven haired man, kicked the heel of his foot down against the floor forcing the chair to roll all the way back against the wall. John collapsed forward, hitting the floor with a hard thud. George jolted awake at the sound. All movements were incredibly simultaneous.</p><p>"What the fuck are you two doing?" George asked sleepily, moving his eyes back and forth between John and Paul.</p><p>John just sat up laughing, rubbing the bruise on his chin as he threw his head back in hysterics. Paul on the other hand had his fingertips placed on his lips, an unreadable expression on his face.</p><p>'I almost got kissed, I almost got kissed, John almost kissed me holy shit.' He thought crazily to himself while he watched as the older man continued to laugh maniacally.</p><p>•••</p><p>Paul sighed as he patted Michael's unusually warm cheek. He really wanted to see his brother smile and greet him today, but the illness had won him over into a deep sleep. Well at least he got to see his brother nonetheless.</p><p>Paul pulled out his wallet, removing two crispy hundreds from the folds to tuck under Michael's pillow. Hopefully he can buy something nice with that, if he needed more then Michael could always call him.</p><p>Ignoring the fact that he could get sick from this, Paul leant down and kissed at the side of Michael's sweaty cheek. If he could catch the illness his younger brother to make sure Michael was okay, he would do it over and over again.</p><p>"I'll see you later Mikey. Hopefully you'll be awake by noon." Paul said, giving Michael's cheek a little pinch before standing up from the bed.</p><p>When Paul left the room, heading over towards both John and George who were occupying the living room, his face grew red as he saw that fucking guitar again.</p><p>George looked towards Paul's way, motioning him forward. "C'mere Paul, did you know that John wrote a song about you?" George asked, a smirk on his face as the older boy hesitantly made his way over towards the two.</p><p>"Yeah, but I don't really care." Paul bluntly replied, not as harshly as he wanted to. It's only because he actually did want to hear it.</p><p>"Stop being like that Paul." George said, catching Paul's eye with a glare. "Really, this is not you."</p><p>Paul's face softened, and John felt his insides flutter delightfully at that.</p><p>"But-" Paul started pathetically, only to get cut off.</p><p>"John has helped you out a lot. He saved you, and now he's taking care of a sick Mike. He also wants to help you get him back, you can't keep treating him unfairly. At this point, you know you should give him a chance but you're putting on an act."</p><p>Paul stared at George, then at John who was tapping on the neck of his guitar, then back at George.</p><p>Welp.</p><p>Paul turned to John, and huffed while avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry for being mean to you."</p><p>"I don't know if I can accept it right now."</p><p>Paul was about to swing and hook John in the jaw before George glided himself back in the conversation. "And that's understandable." He said, raising a hand to pat John's cheek which caused the auburn haired man to laugh.</p><p>Paul felt that fucking feeling again. The unknown feeling of possible jealously bubbling up inside of him.</p><p>He clenched his jaw, wanting so badly to swat George's hand away from John. Or swat John away from George. Or just—</p><p>"Stop touching him!" Paul blurted, causing George to jump and John to look at Paul with confusion.</p><p>"Pardon?" George asked, furrowing his thick brows.</p><p>Well fucking hell Paul, congratulations for talking out loud. Now George and John think you've got even more issues plaguing you than you actually do.</p><p>"Can we leave? I- I don't feel good." Paul said, looking away from the four eyes staring intently at him.</p><p>••</p><p>"Don't call him hot? I don't. I can get that, you were mad at me around that time, so it made sense if you were annoyed. Don't touch him though? Now that's a bit too much isn't it? Why can't I touch him? You were gaming with him all day while I was sleep, and I can't touch him?"</p><p>Paul had his eyes glued to his phone, once again he had candy crush opened up to distract him.</p><p>George sighed at the lack of answers coming from Paul, stopping at a red light. "Listen Paul, we grew up together. You can tell me anything on your mind." He said softly, moving a hand from the steering wheel to rest on Paul's leg.</p><p>Paul darted his eyes at George's hand, expecting some type of feeling that was minced with butterflies in his stomach.</p><p>Yet, he couldn't find any.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Odd. </span></p><p>If he had a crush on George, shouldn't he be feeling something every time the younger man touched him? Well - whenever George touched him he felt at home all the time, reassured, and comforted. Nothing really romantically affectionate, but Paul didn't know that. Of course he didn't, he was not sure whether or he ever had a crush on someone.</p><p>There are times when he would find somebody attractive, very cute. Yet he couldn't seem to actually make out the feeling of being head over heels.</p><p>Paul stared at George, and assumed the reassurance he felt with George was just him having a crush.</p><p>But he only felt this feeling when George would interact with John.</p><p>He doesn't have a crush on John does he? Of course not! Paul was curious to look into it though even when it didn't exactly appeal to him. </p><p>When he's around John —</p><p>Paul opened his notes app up and began to write down the symptoms.</p><p>'when i'm around john..</p><p>my heart starts beating fast when he gets close to me</p><p>i start getting flustered easily</p><p>i feel like i'm going to pass out whenever i'm around him</p><p>i feel like an <em>idiot</em></p><p>i get this weird feeling in my stomach like there's butterflies</p><p>i feel a lot of emotions that i haven't felt before</p><p>i don't know what it is about him, or maybe it's me</p><p>he wrote a song about me today</p><p>he taught me how to play some stupid computer game</p><p>he was so close to me, i felt his breathe against my skin and it made me feel...</p><p>idk</p><p>like i’m misunderstanding something.'</p><p>Paul stared at the last sentence, feeling as if it was not true but he was writing things down without knowing exactly what he was writing down. So it had to be true. Paul scrunched his nose up and exited out of the note, then he began to make a new one for George.</p><p>'when i'm around george..</p><p>i feel at home</p><p>he makes me laugh &amp; smile</p><p>i can be myself</p><p>i have a partner in crime</p><p>i feel happy</p><p>i feel cared for</p><p>i have closure</p><p>he's my safe place </p><p>soulmate</p><p>someone i can hug</p><p>...but i don't feel the same emotions i feel when i’m with john'</p><p>After comparing the notes, Paul looked on in horror. He thought about deleting them for a split second until George pulled into the driveway of their home. George reached up and pressed at the garage remote on the dashboard so the door could open by itself.</p><p>Paul placed his phone down slowly into his pocket, and glanced over at George. "I'm sorry." He murmured under his breath.</p><p>"You're fine Paul." George replied, smoothly easing the car into the garage before moving the gear shift to park. "Home sweet home, are you hungry?"</p><p>Paul was sweating, hands shaking as he tried to formulate his words. "I mean yeah I could eat, but- but I want to tell you something."</p><p>"You can tell me in the house."</p><p>So when they got in the house, Paul trailed along behind him feeling nervous. There was only one way to confirm this whole crush situation out before he falls ill from overthinking.</p><p>George took some meat out of the fridge, steak and all that other shit. "Steak tonight? Do you want anything on the side?" He asked, turning towards Paul with an innocent smile on his face.</p><p>Paul stood near the island, but then he moved forward without thinking.</p><p>There’s only one way to confirm this feeling.</p><p>George backed up a bit as the older man got closer, suddenly confused at the determined look on Paul's pretty face. "Paul? what are you doing?" He asked softly, especially when the older was now basically trapping him against fridge.</p><p>"Just be quiet for a bit." Paul muttered, before grasping at George's shoulder and pulling him forward.</p><p>George's breath hitched, and soon enough he felt his best friend's lips colliding with his. Paul moved in closer, swallowing down the gasp that protruded from in between the younger's lips.</p><p>George on the other hand, stared at Paul in shock as their lips moved together for at least five seconds.</p><p>Soon enough, George relaxed and closed his eyes, delivering the kiss back with full force. Paul dived his tongue into George's mouth experimentally, brushing his tongue over George's. The action stifleda soft moan from the younger man under his grip.</p><p>One hand was loosely placed on Paul forearm, and George tilted his head to the side so that their lips were more comfortable together.</p><p>After around several seconds, Paul pulled away and stared intently at George's flustered face. George's lips were wet, and a bit swollen from the passionate kiss that they shared. Yet, although the sight was alluring, Paul still couldn't feel anything.</p><p>"Fuck," He murmured under his breath, releasing George from his hold as he turned around.</p><p>"I-Is that what you wanted to tell me?" George asked, a bit of laughter in his voice.</p><p>"I um- yeah.. I don't know why I did that."</p><p>George cackled, laughing into his hand. "Yeah me either, but I didn't want you to be upset so I just went along with it."</p><p>Wow.</p><p>"Act like this didn't happen." Paul said, embarrassment washing over him as he rushed out of the kitchen.</p><p>He drove his sleeve over his mouth, wanting to wipe everything that just happened off as he made his way up to his room.</p><p>Shit, shit, shit.</p><p>Why did he do that?</p><p>That was so embarrassing, now what would George think? He basically just outed himself, but at the same time he felt as if he didn't.</p><p>Maybe George could just accept that kiss as a friendly kiss. Nothing more.</p><p>Or maybe Paul could accept that kiss as a friendly kiss.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">You can’t blame him, this was a journey he was experiencing all on his own.</span>
</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. beautiful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a bit fluffy?¿ or not?¿ <br/>working on the next chap rn!! <br/>excuse the errors :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John got a message sent to him from Stuart, and he was surprised to read it as a 'photo sent' since Stu barely took any pictures. Swiveling around in his chair, he clicked on the notification and was met with a picture of both Stuart and Paul.</p>
<p>"Woah." He mumbled to himself, noting how much of a lost bunny Paul had looked like.</p>
<p>Below, Stuart was typed out a message.</p>
<p>stu: is this ur sub? can we share? 🥺</p>
<p>John shook his head, an embarrassed smile pooling on his face as he sat up in his chair, typing out a response.</p>
<p>                            me: yes that's him &amp; nope.</p>
<p>stu: oh but he's so cute, i see why u risked it all</p>
<p>                       me: his attitude is not so cute</p>
<p>stu: put him in his place then!! 😁</p>
<p>                     me:..how did u get a pic w him?</p>
<p>stu: he was at a drug store looking at drugs rappers use. i walked up 2 him then boom.</p>
<p>John made a face at that. 'What the hell did Paul think he was doing?' He thought to himself, and for some reason he felt worried. Of course life wasn't going exactly right for Paul, but to be intentionally searching for the harmful drugs rappers use is a step too far. Especially if he wants his brother back in his safety.</p>
<p>John sent a reaction picture of a confused dog to Stuart in response, and then headed over to George's messages.</p>
<p>                                       me: george u there</p>
<p>vampire bat: im cooking rn</p>
<p>                  me: i just wanted to ask u ab paul</p>
<p>On the other end, George immediately stopped seasoning the steak and began to put all his attention on the phone in his hands.</p>
<p>vampire bat: go ahead</p>
<p>                            me: does he seem ok to u?</p>
<p>vampire bat: yes, why'd you ask?</p>
<p>me: just want to make sure he's ok</p>
<p>John left the messaging app after sending the message and slumped down in his chair again. If only there was a way he could make Paul unblock his number, there needs to be a virtual manual on things like this.</p>
<p>Hopefully Paul would get around to doing it sooner or later, all John wanted to do was talk to him. Even though it was only a short time since the two young men have left, John never forgot how close he was to finally kissing the younger man in his gaming chair.</p>
<p>Sure enough Paul was going to let it happen, but he let his nerves take over and pushed off from the floor to roll the chair back.</p>
<p>Those lips, those eyes, those reddened cheeks. John could not get the younger man out of his fucking head. John felt hot over just thinking about all the things he could do to him. Those little sounds of surprise Paul would make when John would do something that he wasn't ready for. How tense he would be when John would get close to him.</p>
<p>John made a mental note that Paul seemed sensitive to certain touches. </p>
<p>"Ooh, tingles." John said aloud, but it was to nothing - absolutely to no one but himself.Realizing his muscles were beginning to become stiff, the auburn haired man began to creep out of the chair. His eyes were staring straight at the bottle of lotion on his dresser - then glancing over at his right hand.</p>
<p>A smirk formed on his face, and his tongue ran along his thin lips as he looked back at the lotion.</p>
<p>It was useful whenever his thoughts would begin to run wild like this.</p>
<p>Just as he was about to go and grab it, the door swung open and in came Mimi with Michael on her hip. "John I'm taking him to the hospital, he's ill. I don't understand why you didn't take him earlier. Please be proactive." She spat, with anger coating her rising voice.</p>
<p>With his arousal diminishing completely, which caused him to become frustrated, John had then began to argue back. "You was in your room when you got home, why didn't you do it? I'm not the one with the car."</p>
<p>"YOU had both Paul and George here! They have cars! You could have told them how sick Michael was and they'd take him to the hospital!"</p>
<p>John flinched when she yelled, and so did Michael.</p>
<p>"I gave him medicine, and I-"</p>
<p>"Well obviously he's too sick for the medicine! Gosh you're still worthless even at home! If you don't want to put your hand in this shit, then don't. Yet if you see that this child is sick, please <em>DO</em> something!"</p>
<p>John tried to speak again, but all he could get out was a meek sounding: "But he was sleep."</p>
<p>"There is no fucking reason why he should have a fever this high! Are you kidding me? You're pathetic. When I get back I- I-.. you just better not be in my sight." Mimi spat, she was treading on permanently kicking John out but at the same time, that would cause much more problems.</p>
<p>For her, both mentally and physically. She didn't know what she would do with herself if John ever left. Especially without any safe place to stay, or money.</p>
<p>So keeping John with her until he finds his own place was a more reasonable way. The longest she would kick him out was at least forty-eight hours.</p>
<p>"I'll come with you Mimi, I'll-"</p>
<p>"No! Please just- stay away from us right now." Mimi said, emotional as she slammed John's door closed and hurried out of the house.</p>
<p>Back at the other house - Paul felt better when he woke back up from an hour long nap, swallowing down his medication in the bathroom and then looking at the container.</p>
<p>'Anticonvulsants, how boring,' Paul thought to himself before opening the medicine cabinet to search for other medication. He looked for the kind of medicine that he knew he would overdose on if he ever took a lot of it.</p>
<p>Not like he was about to do something like that. It would be stupid, right? Right?</p>
<p>Paul poured some painkillers into his hand anyways, counting each pill that made it into his palm.</p>
<p>What would happen if he just.. swallowed it all.</p>
<p>How soon would the effects occur? Would he just suddenly collapse and die? Or would he go through a seizure, then suffocate on his own fluids then die?</p>
<p>"Paul.. holy shit, what are you doing?" George's concerned voice made him jump, pills spilling out of his hands into the bathroom floor.</p>
<p>Paul panicked, squatting down to collect the pills that fell onto the floor. "Nothing! I was just-"</p>
<p>"Were you going to take all of these?" George firmly asked, his voice hardening within each passing second. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Talk to me. Don't lie to me either."</p>
<p>"I just wanted to feel what it was like to hold a bunch of pills in my hand. I wasn't going to swallow them, I'm not a fucking idiot." Paul replied, feeling pressured from the sudden scowl in George's voice as he clenched all the pills in his palm.</p>
<p>It was tense silence between them for a couple of minutes until Paul broke it again, this time with a joking voice."All of them have different numbers on it. Who even had the time to number the pills."</p>
<p>George stared at Paul observantly. "Mm, get up off of the floor. The food is ready by the way. I wanted to eat fast so we could go pick up and Ringo to go back to John's."</p>
<p>Paul huffed, standing up on his feet. "You know the only reason why we go there is for Michael right?"</p>
<p>"I go for both John and Michael."</p>
<p>The two made their way towards the delicious aroma, in a ridiculously huge dining room. George already had the plates full of food set for them at the clothed table. George sat down at the table, as Paul folded his legs up into the cushion of the chair right next to the younger.</p>
<p>"Why John though? When did you guys ever get so friendly with each other?" Paul asked, narrowing his eyes at George who only blushed.</p>
<p>"You sound jealous." George muttered, and then he briefly thought back to the forbidden kiss they shared only a couple of hours before.</p>
<p>Is- does Paul like him or something?</p>
<p>There's no way. It had to be about John.</p>
<p>Paul scowled. "I am not jealous. I just- it's stupid to me how you two got so close. I remember before I passed out you were at each other's throats, and now you think he's fucking hot."</p>
<p>"He helped me when you were out. I was scared Paul. John was scared too, and we just started looking after each other after that."</p>
<p>Paul chewed on his bottom lip, feeling bad that he had to put them through that. He felt bad putting anyone through that actually. It was so embarrassing to him.</p>
<p>George began to eat at his food, noticing that Paul hadn't said anything in response yet.</p>
<p>Paul thought about it for a bit, and then he turned his body towards George. "Teach me how to become friends with John then. If you get close to him then I want to as well. That's only fair."</p>
<p>George rolled his eyes, and looked at his older mate with a bored gaze. "Just.. be nice to him. Like when you guys were playing the game earlier? Do that some more, just talk to him like you talk to me." He explained, before tapping Paul's nose lightly.</p>
<p>"But I get- he makes me.. George he makes me nervous."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" George asked, shoving the steak into his mouth.</p>
<p>"When I'm around him, and even when I'm not really mad, I still feel weird. Like he makes me feel so nervous. Like butterflies are in my stomach or something. Or when we go on a road trip and we have to go down a hill, then our stomachs start feeling weird as we roll down." Paul rambled, not even caring if he didn't make sense or not. There wasn't an exact way how to tell it out.</p>
<p>George stared at him, chewing the steak innocently before making out his next few words. "Do you like John?" He casually asked, not even knowing how fast that question made Paul's heart drop.</p>
<p>"What? No, no, no! Ew!" Paul cringed, making an over dramatic face.</p>
<p>"Then why do you get so nervous around him?"</p>
<p>"Because I- I don't know. I don't like him though, I'm disgusted that you would even ask that." Paul said, glaring at George intently.</p>
<p>"I think you like him!" George exclaimed in a sing-song voice, chanting it out boldly.</p>
<p>"The sexual tension between this knife and your throat right now is shocking."</p>
<p>••</p>
<p>When the three men marched in, Ringo trotting happily in the front, they weren't greeted by a witty John which was unusual.</p>
<p>"John?" George called out, stepping to the front as Ringo looked around for the younger man curiously.</p>
<p>Paul walked around silently as the other two searched around the living room.</p>
<p>Still quiet, he trekked towards Michael's bedroom and opened up the door to see the bed empty. Paul's jaw dropped open as he made his way inside of the room, looking around urgently for the younger boy. "Michael?" He softly called out, heading over towards the bed, seeing a thermometer laying on the pillow.</p>
<p>Paul picked it up, reading the numbers which were 102. It was a fever. Which had meant that Michael was most likely taken to the hospital. At least he was in hospice care and not laying in a hot bed filled with germs anymore.</p>
<p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Curiously, Paul checked under the pillow to see if the money was still there. Which it was. That was good, that was good.</span>
</p>
<p>Soon enough he exited out of the room with his hands in his pockets. To be honest, if he hadn't taken his medicine earlier he would have been more frightened by the disappearance of his younger brother. Yet now, his brain worked more smoothly taking in new things and he tried to use certain clues to persuade his thoughts into a more logical side.</p>
<p>Paul headed over towards John's room, entering it with a bland look on his face. What he hadn't expected was George comforting John like they've known each other for years.</p>
<p>"You're alright John, don't be so upset alright? You're the life of the party." George said to him, ruffling his hair as Ringo rubbed circles into the younger's backside.</p>
<p>George held John in his arms protectively, reassuringly.</p>
<p>Paul was surely thinking that he was doing it on purpose.</p>
<p>Ringo had an empathetic look on his face. "I'm sure she didn't mean to call you pathetic."</p>
<p>George made a sound, which sounded like an agreement to Ringo.</p>
<p>Paul couldn't help but to stare blankly at George and John. That blasted feeling creeping up on him like a black mamba creeping up on its next victim. It seemed like this was a bad time, and it made him feel kind of left out so Paul began to make a U-turn.</p>
<p>Right until —</p>
<p>"Paul, come here real quick." George called out, making Paul want to die on the spot.</p>
<p>Paul approached the two, and awkwardly stood in front of them, not sure what he was supposed to be doing.</p>
<p>"Tell John, everything is going to be alright." He said, which made John look up at Paul with sad eyes.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, you've got to be kidding me.</em>
  
</p>
<p>"Everything will turn out better than yesterday, but worse than tomorrow." Paul said, deciding to transition to poetry instead.</p>
<p>George glared at the older thinking Paul was just being an asshole, but John understood exactly what that line meant.</p>
<p>The auburn haired man smiled up at Paul who delivered it back, genuinely, somewhat.</p>
<p>That's when Paul thought it was over.He thought that was all the interaction needed from between the two that evening.</p>
<p>Right until John was dragging him towards the computer again, like a child. It was only after ten minutes of him gathering his mind together.</p>
<p>"I told you the last level was too hard, and the last time I played you tried to," Paul lowered his voice, pulling John in by the sleeve of his sweat shirt. "- kiss me." He continued, causing John to laugh out into the air.</p>
<p>"I just wanted to show you how much I adore you. You'll never get it until you let me do it." John said softly, looking down at the pair of inviting lips that were formed into a small pout.</p>
<p>"I don't want you to." Paul murmured, his voice a bit whiny when he noticed how John was staring at his lips. </p>
<p>"You don't want me to?" Paul hadn't noticed the way John tilted his head up with the tips of his fingers pressed against his chin.</p>
<p>"N-No." Paul stuttered breathlessly when his eyes met up with John's.</p>
<p>Fuck John was — he was such a beauty, and Paul couldn't deny it even if he forced himself to.</p>
<p>"Why're you letting me get this close to you then princess?" John with a ridiculously suggestive question, and that was when Paul noticed how John's soft breaths were ghosting over his lips.</p>
<p>George watched with a smirk, and even Ringo was blushing from the homoerotic sight.</p>
<p>Paul stepped back quickly, almost stumbling over his feet, he almost fell until John caught him by his wrist and pulled the younger towards his chest. "Easy there boy, you almost collided with the wall. All I wanted you to do is sit in the chair not do a whole trust fall."</p>
<p>"If anything he almost collided with your face." Ringo had smartly remarked, causing George to bust out laughing and for Paul to glare at him.</p>
<p>Wrenching his wrist away from a giggling John, Paul pulled the chair out from the desk and plopped in it angrily.</p>
<p>'Why do men do things like this?' Is all that managed to run through Paul's head as he opened the game on the computer.</p>
<p>"Do you remember how to get there?" John asked, leaning against the chair as he watched the game download all the last saved ones from before.</p>
<p>"Not really. It's not that relevant to remember." Paul replied bluntly, removing his hand from the mouse to cross his arms.</p>
<p>John frowned at that, feeling offended from the comment. "Not that relevant? Paul this game was like.. the most popular game when I was a kid."</p>
<p>Paul rolled his eyes at that, and then he mumbled a rather too offensive: "Guess you didn't have much of a life as a child."</p>
<p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">George and Ringo’s eyes bulged out of their head from the remark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Damn. </span>
</p>
<p>Caught off guard by that, John lifted himself up and turned towards the two young men sitting on his bed. "Rings, George can you leave the room for a bit? I got to have a personal talk with Paul." He said steadily, something edging in his voice that made Paul cock his head up to face John.</p>
<p>What the hell did he think he was doing?</p>
<p>And why did George and Ringo even listen to him?</p>
<p>Paul felt his stomach churn when he witnessed the sacred bedroom door come to a close, and soon enough his chair was whipped around so that he was facing the older man.</p>
<p>Paul flinched when he realized that maybe he said too much. Fuck - what if John was about to beat him up? Punch him? Or even choke him? Paul slowly began to panic, cursing at his lilliputian frame. Why couldn't he be five foot ten and more muscular? It'd be more realistic since his father was that tall.</p>
<p>John caged the younger in again, a tight grip on the chair so Paul would not kick back this time. "Now you better fucking listen to me." He demanded, a growl in his voice that sent bundles of shivers down Paul's spine.</p>
<p>"I've fucking kept up with your shit since the second time we met. I like you, hell I might even be in love with you. But I'm not going to put up with your blatant disrespect. Do you hear me?"</p>
<p>Paul found himself glued to his seat, his eyes cartoonishly widened and his lips parted.</p>
<p>John tried not to let his facial expression soften from the innocently scared look on Paul's face. The only reason why he was talking to the younger man like this was because Stuart adviser him to. "I said, do you hear me? You've talked your glob off million times before, what's the issue now doll?"</p>
<p>Oh? Oh.</p>
<p>Oh <em>fucking shit</em>. </p>
<p>Paul felt his thighs subconsciously squeeze together when John cocked his head to the side, eyes dangerously piercing into Paul's.</p>
<p>When Paul had yet to say anything, John pulled the chair closer, eliciting a hitch of Paul's breath from the abrupt movement.</p>
<p>"I'm not going to repeat myself. Do you hear me?"</p>
<p>Paul snapped into it. "Yes, I heard you." He replied, his voice coming out small and flustered.</p>
<p>"I've helped you out through everything so far. I'm willing to help you get custody of your brother back. I can't do that if you keep treating me so selfishly."</p>
<p>"You act as if you don't act like a perve every time I'm around you." Paul argued, a pout on his face as he spoke.</p>
<p>John laughed, annoyance sputtering out with each fed up chuckle. "I thought someone as smart as you would know that it's just flirting."</p>
<p>Paul felt genuinely offended, face growing into a shocked frowned as he stared in bewilderment at John.</p>
<p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Well, he can’t really be mad at that remark since he made one worse than that. </span>
</p>
<p>"You want Michael back? I can help you do that. It's not like you have any other choice." John said harshly, not even sensing whether or not if he hurt Paul's feelings with that. "You just have to trust me, and show me some respect. I will try my all to help you. Also before you say anything, I'm not forcing you to fall for me either, just at least be a friend to me.”</p>
<p>Paul’s lips began to quiver, for no exact reason that is figured out yet. He looked away, thinking about the chances for a bit before exhaling shakily.</p>
<p>John lowered his voice, and leaned in closer so that he was basically inches away from Paul’s face. “Do you want my help?”</p>
<p>Paul had then looked back at the overpowering gaze of John Lennon. Their eyes aligned again, a new spark within both of their gazes.</p>
<p>Paul stared at him, no traces of hesitation as he nodded obediently. "Okay, but- I just want confirmation.. if I let you help me out.. you wouldn't take advantage of me."</p>
<p><em>Advantage</em>? Holy shit.</p>
<p>John’s face softened when he noticed that Paul’s eyes were sparkling with tears, fucking tears. His face was becoming flustered, and he looked even younger than he was.</p>
<p>Shit, he even looked younger than fucking Michael.</p>
<p>That was when the walls came down, and John knelt down on his knees in front of the chair so he wasproperly leveled with Paul.</p>
<p>"What? Holy shit no, no, no." John immediately cooed, grasping at Paul's shaking hand to clutch it into his larger ones. "Don't you ever think that, I'm not a monster. I could never take advantage of you in such a situation like this."</p>
<p>Paul scoffed, not wanting to meet John's eye - he felt as if he was naked, but relieved at the same time.</p>
<p>So, so, <em>relieved</em>.</p>
<p>This was too good to be true.</p>
<p>"Life's been hard lately. I don't know what to believe." Paul replied, trying to keep his voice steady.</p>
<p>"Believe me, I've kept up with you this long. I lost my job, the patience of my aunt, almost everything I need to thrive in this house for you. You've got me wrapped around your finger, Paul I would never, I would NEVER take advantage of you. I will never hurt you." John said, squeezing Paul's hand which made the younger man look back at him with wondering eyes.</p>
<p>After a couple of seconds, Paul took in a breath and let all the stress bridges he had held up fall slowly, broadcasting how vulnerable he was to this whole situation.</p>
<p>"Do you promise?" Paul asked, a vulnerable sound escaping his throat as he let his glassy eyes follow the way John raised up off of the floor.</p>
<p>"Yes, yes. I promise."</p>
<p>Fuck - this meant..this meant he was a huge leap closer to getting Michael back. Back in his arms. Back in his home.</p>
<p>Beat that dad. BEAT <em>that</em>. Paul wanted his father to swallow that fact the fuck down. No, he wanted his father to choke on it and finish off dying like he was.</p>
<p>The weight on Paul’s shoulders suddenly disappeared, his trust now fully in John’s hands.</p>
<p>Speaking of John’s hands, he interlaced their fingers as he began to sniff, murmuring a soft: “Thank you so much, and I’m sorry for saying that to you.” It made John’s heart grow, and a blush to smear across his face when he glanced down at their interlaced fingers.</p>
<p>Paul felt as if he was going to cry, but he didn't want to. Not here. Yet he had no control over that.</p>
<p>Glancing up from their hands, John gaped at Paul in disbelief when he saw a few tears run down his pudgy cheeks. "Oh Paul, come on, get up and come here." John said, pulling the younger up off of the chair to hug him close.</p>
<p>Paul sniffled, trying to capture his breath as he let the roller coaster of emotions he felt that entire week come down on him, causing him to sob uncontrollably into the crook of John's neck.</p>
<p>It felt good to finally cry.</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. shë</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chap 13 otw<br/>enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was raining lightly by the time John did go out into the unwelcoming outside, around six-forty in the morning. Michael was incredibly tired when John woke him up, it was the first day after the flu attack a couple of days earlier. The matter of that made it hard for him to function his little brain, since you still feel the reminisce of the virus in your immune system. John was there though, even when he was tired himself.</p><p>Sitting up in the bed, Michael grasped at his pillow and pressed it against the front of his face. Burying his cheek into it to sleep at least for two more minutes. He had no idea why he had to wake up so early, Paul would never wake him up around fucking six in the morning. It was at least seven in the morning, or at least seven twenty.</p><p>Moving his face from the pillow before he could fall back into a deep sleep, he glanced over at the two hundred dollars that rested on the exact spot where he lifted his pillow.</p><p>Now he was alert, tossing the pillow away and grasping at the money quickly. "Woah." He murmured in awe, before smiling tiredly once he finally realized. "Paulie.."</p><p>John wasn't a chef, so he just promised to bring fish and chips to Michael's school nearby lunch time.</p><p>"Don't share with anyone by the way. It's not going to end up well recovering from the flu and letting other people touch your food." John told Michael as the younger boy ate some cereal at the table.</p><p>"Okay." Michael muttered, and then he paused, suddenly growing excited. "Do I get to see Paulie today? I couldn't all the other days since I was sick."</p><p>John had nodded, chopping up his apple on a cut board. "Yeah, you'll see him kid. You will." He said, continuing to slice the kitchen knife through the fruit.</p><p>When the two of them stood in front of the house, waiting for the familiar car of either Paul, Ringo or George's to pull up against the curb - Michael clutched his rain jacket close to him. John pulled the hood over his head, feeling himself shiver when the rain began to pour down a bit harder.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Maybe he should have put something much more warmer on, he hadn’t expected it to be so chilly. </span>
</p><p>''Damn, who died today?'' John asked himself as he glared up at the dark grey skies. Michael glanced over at him, genuinely confused at that statement.</p><p>Rain was packed in the huge cloud, and hopefully that was all it was. John easily caught colds in this weather, and he would get all grumpy, much more irritable than he usually is.</p><p>"I don't think anyone died." Michael replied softly, moving a hand from his rain jacket to hold it out into the light showers. "Nature is just doing it's natural thing, maybe there's no reasoning as to why it's raining. It's been doing this since we've arrived on this planet. So why would it mean anything now?"</p><p>John frowned, and suspiciously side eyed Michael for a bit. "How old are you again?"</p><p>Michael giggled in response, moving his now wet hand into his pocket to eventually dry. John smiled at the adorable sound, dropping his head down as he chuckled under his breath.</p><p>"You know, I know even though I think Paul hates you.. you're not as mean as I thought you were. You helped me when I was sick."</p><p>John made a disapproving sound, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, you could've gone into a much more bad fever if it weren't for Mimi helping you to the hospital. Sorry kid."</p><p>Michael, the ever so optimistic kid, shrugged at that with a smile on his face. "At least you hugged me."</p><p>John laughed out loud at that which made Michael laugh some more. "Did Mimi not hug you?" He asked, staring at the younger with amusement in his eyes.</p><p>"No, she just stuck a thermometer in my mouth and then yanked me up." Michael explained animatedly, doing various hand movements that made John laugh more.</p><p>"Ah, you think that's bad. I was half asleep one time when she threw me in a ice bath."</p><p>Michael's shocked face made him laugh out into the rainy setting. With newfound interest in the subject, he continued his explanation: "When it's rainy like this? I fall really ill, and I was feeling like shit for weeks. Couldn't move, couldn't sleep, couldn't even breathe. So when she dumped me in that ice bath, everything that shut down in me woke back up."</p><p>"It sounds painful."</p><p>John shrugged, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets thinking back to the day. "It was, but my uncle comforted me afterwards. I was around your age."</p><p>Michael smiled fondly at John. "Your uncle? What was he like?" He asked, curious and interested.</p><p>"He was.. generous. Very generous. There was never once where I thought he was selfish. He was a hard worker." John said, speaking more to himself than to the seven year old beside him. "He filled in the role of my father really, since I never really got to knew my father."</p><p>Michael's smile softly faded, and soon enough he was trotting over towards John. "Father's are weird anyway, who needs them?" He asked, it was something that made John's insides burn with empathy.</p><p>If only Michael knew how much of a statement that is, especially from his father's background.</p><p>"You're never wrong, do you know that?" John said, dropping his arms to the side as Michael neared him so that they were standing in the same spot as before.</p><p>"Time will tell."</p><p>John scoffed in disbelief, this kid has way too much wisdom at such a young age. What was he in his past life? The fucking avatar?</p><p>Soon enough a car showed up down the street, turning smoothly into the main street where Michael and John stood. 'Woman' by Harry Styles playing loudly, a little or way too early in the morning for it to do so. The pouring rain setting a perfect welcoming view of the expensive vehicle cruising down the empty avenue.</p><p>"There's no way.." John muttered in disbelief at how loud the music was blaring throughout the neighborhood. "Paul must've gone mad."</p><p>Michael however, was a smiling mess, jumping excitedly as the car rolled up in front of them.</p><p>The car came to a stop, and so did the music. Thankfully, before any neighbors decided to call the police on the blokes which would make the morning even more grey than it already had been.</p><p>Paul stepped out of the car in a light pink rain coat that looked a size larger than it should have been. John thought Paul looked absolutely adorable in it. It was as if being unintentionally cute just ran in the family, and to be honest John didn't mind.</p><p>"Paulie! He's okay! You're okay! I missed you!" Michael shouted in excitement, capturing John's attention.</p><p>The auburn haired man watched in silent amusement as the seven year old began racing towards his older brother who scooped him up in a immediate hug.</p><p>"Woah, look at you. All cozy and stuff, I bet you're warm." Paul said, when Michael pulled away from snuggling his brier to look at him in the face.</p><p>"I am warm. John made sure that I put on a thermal shirt underneath my school uniform."</p><p>"Did he?" Paul asked, acting more surprised than he really was - just to be enthusiastic for the younger boy.</p><p>"Yup!"</p><p>John headed over towards the smiling pair, already sniffling from the amount of rain that's been pouring. Yeah, he was definitely in for it whenever he gets back inside of his home. Since Michael was sick before, it suddenly ends up John's turn?</p><p>What a weird domino effect.</p><p>When he got close enough to the two, John had suddenly caught Paul's eye. Feeling bold, the auburn haired man dared a smile at him.</p><p>Paul smiled back, broadcasting those perfect white teeth and it made John's knees almost buckle.</p><p>"Do you want to come with me?" Paul had then asked, which made Michael look at John with an excited expression on his face.</p><p>"To his school?" John asked dumbly, not yet used to this opened Paul. After their discussion in his room, it seemed as if Paul genuinely let himself become relaxed around the presence of John. The total opposite personality from the last couple of days.</p><p>"No to the zoo." Michael said sarcastically, before presenting John a soft smile. "Yeah to my school."</p><p>John sniffed again, feeling his throat become a bit tender when he swallowed. <em>Ugh</em>. He couldn't turn this down, even when he was becoming ill within each passing second. It was as if he was allergic to the rain.</p><p>"Yeah, I can go if you want me to. Whatever you guys want."</p><p>Paul blushed at that, and Michael noticed but his short attention span didn't pay any mind to it.</p><p>••</p><p>"Paul."</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>John coughed into his arm for a bit, and then sat back into his seat sniffling. "Why'd you have the bloody music up so loud? Do you know how early it is?" He asked, causing Michael to giggle hysterically  in the backseat.</p><p>Paul shrugged, and then he made a face as if he was genuinely thinking about it for a bit. "I don't know, I just- it was one of my favorite songs." He ultimately answered, grasping at his phone to wing it back towards Michael. "Go ahead and play your favorite songs Mike."</p><p>John felt as if his nose, head, and throat was going to explode in this car. It was as if they were all pulsating at once, and he wasn't so sure what to think when it came to that assumption.</p><p>It seemed as if it all became worse, and even more inflamed when 'Watermelon sugar' started fucking playing.</p><p>Paul glanced at John curiously for a couple of seconds, or however long it was since he had to look right back at the road. Slowly, he lifted one hand off of the wheel to slap roughly on the forehead of the older man. John jolted, an already forming headache growing worse when he felt Paul's hand slap on his head. Although he had the urge to take the younger's hand and bite it, the auburn haired man digressed himself from doing so. Whatever Paul was doing now was not in John's control for reasons unknown.</p><p>"You're getting warm. Are you sick?" Paul muttered aloud, which had caused Michael to gasp over dramatically at the idea of the oh so cool John Lennon becoming sick.</p><p>John blinked, and then twisted his lips to the side to make a casual face. "What? No, it might be allerg- AH-CHOO!" He sneezed, which made Paul jerk his arm away from John's face.</p><p>"Bless you!" Michael adorably shouted, shooting his arms in the air as he grinned.</p><p>"Thanks." John muttered back pathetically, embarrassment clouding his proper senses.</p><p>Paul chewed on his bottom lip, slowing the car down as his hands began to diligently search for an unused mask he had situated somewhere. The reason why he had them came in handy a lot of times, simply just wearing a mask whenever you're sick made Paul extremely comfortable. Since whenever Paul would get sick, it would just be an upsetting, and rough day for everyone.</p><p>When Paul finally grabbed ahold of a K-95 mask, he held it over to John as his eyes continued to lock onto the road. "Here, put this on before you spread it." He told the older, holding it out expectantly.</p><p>John took it, not missing the way that their fingers briefly brushed together during the exchange</p><p>"John said he gets sick in the rain." Michael said, basically exposing their conversation from earlier.</p><p>John didn't mind though as he put the mask onto his face with hot, shaking hands. Fuck he felt so sick, especially from just getting out of the rain as well. This was so embarrassing, such bad timing, and it had really irked him immensely.</p><p>All he wanted to do is just go back home, crawl into a warm bed, and watch cartoons.</p><p>Then he remembered, he promised Paul to get Michael back as soon as he could. So it would be appropriate to attend everything that involved Paul and his little brother, no matter what.</p><p>This was just a bad way to start off though, and it made the older man upset at himself. Or his immune system, or both.</p><p>John slowly began to tune out Paul and Michael's brotherly conversations, pulling out his phone to text Stuart. They haven't talked to each other since Stuart sent him the picture of him and Paul together in that drug store.</p><p>Stuart calling Paul John's sub didn't really sit right with him after the heartfelt conversation shared between him and the younger. John couldn't even tell whether or not Paul was a sub or not, and if it even mattered.</p><p>Whatever he was, it was the time to shut those thoughts out. He's not taking advantage of Paul sexually, or mentally. That was what he promised, and he was not going to break it because of his desires.</p><p>Even when Paul was unintelligibly fucking gorgeous.</p><p>After sending a couple of messages back, smoothly shifting the conversation away from Paul, he put his phone down on his lap. Sniffling, he pressed the temple of his head which was heating up within seconds passing, against the chilly window. Fuck - he felt so cold.</p><p>It was something that John still found alarming, especially since Paul was looking for drugs rappers would rap about. For what reason though? That was something to think about later though.</p><p>Suddenly the car stopped by in front of a school, and he heard car doors open, then car doors close.</p><p>John let out a rasp, basically breathing in his mask. He began moving so that he could shift his head comfortably back into the seat.</p><p>Closing his eyes shut, he began to ignore the tightening of his chest each and every time he inhaled.</p><p>It sucked how quickly he got ill just from being in the rain, and not only how quickly - how extremely.</p><p>It wasn't even his intentions to doze off in the seat, but when he opened his eyes to concerned hazel eyes staring back at him.</p><p>"Hey, John? Are you okay? Seriously, you're scaring me." Paul had said with genuine concern once he got back into the car from dropping Michael off, which caused John's eyes to flap all the way opened from the close proximity.</p><p>"I just- I'm not feeling well." He stammered, trying his best to not look down at the inviting pair of lips.</p><p>Paul was just so gorgeous.. he honestly had no idea how he was going to pull this off without feeling devastated each and every time. Especially when he would think about how he couldn't even at least persuade Paul into falling for him. John realized his senses were more haywire when he fell ill, especially around this absolutely beautiful man.</p><p>Unfortunately to John, instead of making out with him, Paul sat back into his seat, and reached to close the door when the rain began to pound against the windshield. "Our Michael's in school now. So I'll take you to my home, and give you this tea that will make you feel better."</p><p>John stretched out in the seat, reaching down for a handle to push his seat back. Paul watched him silently with a hint of amusement in his expression  as John desperately searched around for the handle. The younger man watched up until John found out there's a button on the side of the door that does it for him.</p><p>That all took at least seven minutes altogether.</p><p>•••</p><p>"Welcome!" George called out from the living room when both Paul and John entered the large, and spacious home.</p><p>Paul took off his rain coat by the door, and shrugged it off of his shoulders to reveal a cute purple jumper that actually fit him. John watched in awe as he diligently hung the raincoat up on the rack, lifting himself up on his tip toes to reach it. Paul turned around to look at John, a confused expression on his face when he realized the oldest hadn't moved an inch. "Aren't you going to take your rain coat off?"</p><p>"Huh? Oh yeah." John said dumbly, unzipping his jacket and removing it from his body to walk over towards the rack, hanging it up next to Paul's. Taking his mask off, he shoved it into the pocket of his sweatshirt and ruffled his own wet hair.</p><p>Afterwards, Paul wrapped his fingers around John's wrist and headed over towards the living room to meet up with George. "John's really ill, like really really ill. Can you make some tea for him while I help him get comfortable in the guest room?"</p><p>George looked at John with concern before looking back at Paul. "Rings is in the guest room. Try the one down the hall next to the bathroom."</p><p>John didn't remember there being a guest room, well holy shit. He had only been here once, and there wasn't exactly a chance for him to walk around the home.</p><p>Paul stared at George with an annoyed expression on his face. "Can you make some tea for John, while I help him get comfortable in the OTHER guest room?" He asked again, making sure George noticed that he didn't care which guest room was available.</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Of course." George said, face flushing as he placed the bowl of cereal down onto the coaster on top of a table in the middle of the living room. He got up, and immediate whisked off towards wherever the kitchen was.</p><p>John watched as the youngest of the three exited the living room, not even feeling himself move when Paul continued to tug him towards the guest room.</p><p>Before the older man knew it, he was already battling his way up the stairs. Head splitting apart from the inside, and his throat growing even more sore than it already had been. Shit, he just wanted to sleep, no matter how long, it didn't matter. John hated being ill, it really killed the ego he had to have someone tend to him as if he was a child.</p><p>When John and Paul entered a guest room, undecorated, but decently large and occupied with a bed along with a dresser. Plain dark grey and black sheets, huge lamp in the corner aside from the bed. A large enough television placed across from the bed, hanging majestically on its holder. It was actually a guest room, and nothing other than that.</p><p>John looked around, noticing a bathroom that looked huge enough to have its own spacious shower. It seemed as if he spoke too soon</p><p>Paul closed the door, releasing his hold of John's wrist. "You look tired." He muttered jokingly, meeting John's ill gaze with his hazel eyes.</p><p>"I am." John replied, his voice sounding hoarse.</p><p>Paul seemed to have been amused at this. "I can tell because you're quieter than usual."</p><p>John hummed, and made his way over towards the bed to plop down on it. "I don't know if I could make it back home until later. I feel so horrible."</p><p>Paul tilted his head, looking concerned again. "You sound like it. You can barely even talk."</p><p>Instead of responding, John collapsed on his back onto the bed, exhaustion washing over him from his illness. He didn't hear the footsteps coming near him, along with a shift in the bed. John turned his head to look over at Paul who was sitting carefully at the end of the bed, facing John's limp body.</p><p>"Aren't you going to change? Like the clothes you're wearing are wet. You'll get even more ill." Paul asked, feeling stupid that he was so concerned over John's well-being.</p><p>"I didn't bring clothes with me to change out of. I honestly hadn't even expected to come al—" John was cut off by a coughing fit that made Paul jump from the unexpected coughs.</p><p>"Hey, hey. It's okay, try not to talk as much. I have some clothes that would probably fit you since I'm always wearing sizes that are bigger than me." Paul said softly, instinctively reaching out to place a gentle hand on the older's stomach, he didn't even know that he was doing it.</p><p>John hummed, feeling too tired to respond, so he just nodded in submission.</p><p>"Are you-" Paul blushed in mid sentence, "able to take this off by yourself? Before you get even more sick?"</p><p>John shook his head no, he didn't even feel energized enough to emit a single sound from his throat.</p><p>Paul felt himself heat up at the thought of having to undress John to the sox and boxers. Wait - it didn't have to be him to do it! He could easily just get up, and find George to undress John while he makes the tea! Yeah, that would work.</p><p>George could undress John.</p><p>George, his best friend, could undress John.</p><p>George would see John shirtless, and—</p><p>George would see John half naked.</p><p>George would, and not Paul.</p><p>But then why should Paul even be upset that it wouldn't be him to see John shirtless and undressed.</p><p>Why is this segment even fucking happening in his head right now? This man is sick, barely functioning on the bed right now and he is worried about whether George should undress him or not.</p><p>Fuck it.</p><p>Paul reached out, placing his hand on the waistband of John's joggers. "I'm going to dress you down okay?" He asked carefully, even though John was probably well on his way on being asleep.</p><p>Due to the teensy size difference, Paul shifted off of the edge of the bed, moving quickly in front of the older man to bring his cold joggers down his legs. Paul tried not to let his eyes linger, feeling ashamed that he was slightly checking out the thickness of John's thighs that laid presented on the bed.</p><p>Feeling his heart race, and the need to be quiet, Paul began to breathe heavily through his parted lips. As he continued to move the joggers down his legs, revealing the slightly hairy and beautifully toned figure of John's lower-half, Paul couldn't help but to sweat.</p><p>Fuck, fuck, fuck. John's is- he's fucking beautiful.</p><p>Paul slid to the floor, along with the joggers but they got caught up by John's shoes. Releasing a frustrated breath from how flustered he was, Paul began to untie John's shoes and put them neatly beside the bed. 'Come on, get ahold of yourself you idiot.' Paul thought frustratedly to himself.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> This’ll take actual hours if you do it with this speed. </span></p><p>With that, he snapped into it.</p><p>Paul removed the rest of the joggers off of John, and then clambered on top of him, straddling the older.</p><p>Quietly, he grasped at John's arms to bring them up and above his head which looked more erotic than it had should been. Not letting the sexual position get to him, he grasped at the hem of John's sweatshirt and began to tug it up over his head, sliding it over his arms.</p><p>Of course John wasn't wearing a shirt, that's another thing to make you sick in the middle of rainy weather.</p><p>Paul shook his head, mumbling a fond: "Dummy." Under his breath.</p><p>Wait- holy shit, John wasn't wearing a shirt.</p><p>Paul made sure not to touch the toned upper torso of John Lennon, and swallowed down a panicked yelp. Fucking hell, he was gorgeous and he felt so warm.</p><p>Paul was sure that blood was going to spurt out of his nose from how red his face was.</p><p>Oh fuck he was sitting on top of a half naked, and most likely unconscious John. Paul knew he had to get up sooner or later, but he couldn't help but to observe the constructions of John's face. It was flustered from the illness pulsing through him, a bit sweaty and his hair was wet from the rain. All in all, the natural beauty was fairly presented and it struck Paul immensely.</p><p>The younger hadn't noticed the way he placed his hands on John's abdomen, moving his gaze down to John's neck. What a gorgeous and unmarked neck, beautiful collarbones, toned chest.</p><p>Paul noticed John had little freckles dotting his skin adorably, several moles on different spots of his body. His rib cage presented, as well as his abs.</p><p>Paul absently ran a tongue over his lips, eyes glistening at the obscene sight. He wanted to reach up and run his fingers along the wet, auburn hair, to move it away from John's face so he could get a full look of his face.</p><p>The door swung open, and George stepped in with a cup of tea held over the saucer. "John here's yo-" He paused, looking wide eyed at the sight of a fully clothed Paul straddling a half naked John.</p><p>‘Woah.’</p><p>Paul gasped, scrambling off of the older man and falling off of the bed to strike the back of his head, hard against the floor.</p><p>Oh fuck.</p><p>George didn't know what to do, he panicked on his own as he made a confused sound. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you- I was- are you okay!?"</p><p>Miraculously, John was still asleep and from the different noises he only turned over to his side.</p><p>Paul got up quickly, shushing George aggressively as rubbed vigorously at the back of his head.</p><p>Fuck, that fall had <em>hurt</em> and it sent him back, way back.</p><p>"I'm okay, just set the tea down over there. I think I need an ice pack though."</p><p>"Of course, of course. I'll give you one. Just go ahead."</p><p>Paul nodded quickly, rushing out of the room and past George with embarrassment running through him. As well as overwhelming pain from the hit to the back of the head.</p><p>Fuck he has to go and put clothes on John so it wouldn't look suspicious that he was half naked in Paul's home.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. heart.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John hadn't expected to wake up in a forrest green sweater that seemed a bit loose on him, but it fitted perfectly nonetheless. It was comfortable, a bit fuzzy and soft against his skin. Unlike the coldness of his hoodie he arrived in. John couldn't help but to melt at the scent of expensive cologne, as well as a natural vanilla scent that came from the shirt.</p><p>Not wanting to seem creepy, he refused on bringing the shirt up to his nose and inhaling sharply like he was in need of a cocaine fix. Instead John rose up, bringing a hand to his head to feel the temperature of his own body.</p><p>How long had he been asleep? John figured that it was awhile since he had woken up early.</p><p>It still should have been morning at least, possibly near brunch with the time ranging between ten or eleven. John still felt tired though, not wanting to exit out of this warm bed and definitely not wanting to move around in Paul's clothing.</p><p>The scent of the younger made him suggest on staying in bed instead of walking around, replacing Paul's scent with his own.</p><p>Instead, John felt around for his phone which he had hoped was not in the pocket of his jacket.</p><p>Ugh, it would only mean that he would have to get up anyway.</p><p>John never felt so seduced by a bed though, like holy shit it felt so springy and soft to lay in. Maybe it's because he was the only guest to use this room, or maybe it was because he was laying in one of Paul's beds. In Paul's home. It just made the feeling of being in the bed incredibly different.</p><p>The movements happening outside of that room however wad different than languidly relaxing in a bed.</p><p>Paul was in the laundry room taking John's now cleansed clothing out of the dryer. Even though George told him not to, Paul felt obligated to do so since he basically had John out longer than he wanted to be out. Plus, the raven haired man felt that it was appropriate to do it since he had been so rude to John all the times they have interacted before.</p><p>Paul cringed at his past attitude. Harshly scolding himself under his breath as he placing John's clothes in a miniature basket. Suddenly pausing, Paul held up John's hoodie and observed it for a bit. It was cute to him, there was a small bowl of noodles on the right handed corner and that was it for the designs.</p><p>How simple, and small.</p><p>Paul subconsciously turned it around, and held it close to his chest to see how big it was against his frame. It would swallow his wrist and hands in definitely, it seemed to flow down to his mid thighs, and the hood was big enough to cover his face if he pulled the drawstrings enough. The color wasn't so bad either, it was simple, but a warm mocha colored hoodie.</p><p>Before he put John's clothes in the washer, it was soaked with reminisce of the pouring rain that soared throughout England, and putting it back on John would just get him sick again, so why should Paul even risk that happening? It was worth the chore, and the scent of John wasn't bad either.</p><p>He smelt like sugar cookies, and the feeling of the hoodie in his hands was so warm. It made Paul smile at nothing, a blush clouding his cheeks as he thought about putting it on for a brief second.</p><p>Then again, that seemed to have been a bit too much for the man, especially when Paul blinked back to Earth. In frustration at his ministrations, he folded the clothing up nearly and placed the hoodie back into the basket along with the other clothes.</p><p>What the fuck was that about?</p><p>Exiting the laundry room with the basket in his hands, he abruptly ran into a just-now-waking-up Ringo. Almost ejecting himself from the roof from how much Ringo scared him, Paul caught his breath under a couple of seconds.</p><p>Ringo scratched at the side of his head innocently, and yawned. "Good morning Paul, washing clothes are we?" He asked, as he peeped at the basket.</p><p>"Oh, yeah- this isn't mine though. It's John's, he's ill." Paul said, somewhat struggling to hold the basket up for some reason.</p><p>His head was still sore from that fall when George opened the door on him literally straddling John.</p><p>Luckily, the two hadn't discussed that situation. Paul prayed that they wouldn't have to do it as long as they both have lived.</p><p>"Are you alright son?" Ringo asked, tilting his head curiously. "Do you want me to hold that for you? Don't overwork yourself into another scare."</p><p>Paul felt his heart warm a bit from the genuine concern - ah Ringo is so nice. "I'm fine, really. I just want to send this up to John so he won't be worrying about his clothes when he wakes up."</p><p>Ringo smiled at him, eyes twinkling with kindness that made Paul want to bundle the older man up in blankets. "Well okay, I hope he feels better. Oh yeah, and thanks for having me sleep over again."</p><p>"You can stay for as long as you want." Paul struggled to say, trying his best to continue holding the basket up in his aching arms. That damned medication side effects were beginning to take a toll on him, and his strength.</p><p>Ringo lit up, smiling gracefully. "Really? It wouldn't be a burden? It would seem like we'd be flatmates."</p><p>Paul gave the older man his infamous 'you're so fucking cute, but I need you to get the hell out of my way' type of smile. Ringo seemed to have taken the bait, because he ran to wherever George occupied to deliver the exciting news Paul just told him.</p><p>Paul's expression dropped into an uncertain one as he managed to make his way to the stairs. Taking in a breath, he gripped the basket as he stepped up and up all the way towards the top.</p><p>With his head pulsing, and arms aching, along with the gentle rumbling of his stomach - Paul surprised himself when he actually made it outside of John's guest room.</p><p>Is this what it was like working as a house keeper at a hotel? Thank goodness Paul hadn't have to work since his parents funds were connected to him and Michael. Although wearing a maid uniform wouldn't look exactly bad on him, in Paul's eyes surprisingly.</p><p>It wasn't all the time when Paul would think he'd look nice in something. Especially after years of his father degrading his looks, along with different assholes at his school who were possibly closeted, branching out their negativity to a younger Paul.</p><p>To be honest, Paul had no idea how he got through the obstacles at his school and the consistent abuse at his home.</p><p>Maybe his mind didn't decipher things like that when he was a child, and all he could actually make out was the physical pain he would experience at home. Paul could be coloring in his children’s book, and end up getting the heel of a boot impaled into the back of his head. </p><p>Then he would go back to coloring after he had stopped crying, his innocence being stronger than the pain.</p><p>Being at school was safer than being at home to him, anyways. He could deal with getting spitted on, punched, shoved, pushed, kicked, choked, slapped, - sometimes groomed by other students.</p><p>Not by his own father, he couldn't deal with that at all.</p><p>There was no shared affection, and if there was it was one-sided until Paul had enough of the mistreatment.</p><p>Before Paul could delve deeper into that thought, he shook it off and twisted the door knob to open the door.</p><p>When he walked in, Paul hadn't expected for John to be standing by the window with sheets over his shoulders. The tea George made was in his left hand, and his right hand was running through the forest of bed hair on his head. The older man looked like an actual prince, especially when he turned around to look at the younger man at the doorway.</p><p>"You're up." Paul spoke softly, blushing as his eyes glanced at his sweater John was wearing. "Are you feeling better?" He asked, squatting down on shaky legs to set the heavy basket of John's clothes down onto the floor.</p><p>"Guess so. I'm still a bit tired." John casually replied, turning all the way around to walk over towards the younger. He stared down at Paul until he stood back up slowly, a bit out of breath from the traveling.</p><p>"Then go back to sleep. I'll wake you up when we can have actual breakfast." Paul replied, trying to hide how hard he was breathing he was also leveling his balance as well.</p><p>John reached out with one hand, grasping at Paul's arm to steady him, which he did. "You alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine." Paul lied, he really just wanted to lie down for a couple of seconds. John didn't shake off though, instead he stared intently at Paul with grave concern, not wanting to have the younger man rushed back to the hospital in a fucking ambulance.</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yeah, I am. It's just my medicine, I'm okay." Paul said softly, smiling tiredly at John to convince him more. He began to wither his arm around in John's protective grip, keeping a strained smile on his face as he tried to move his arm away. "Your hand is hot, let me go." Paul whined, causing John to hesitantly remove his arm from his tight hold.</p><p>"Sorry." John muttered, bringing the cup of tea up to his mouth as Paul turned around to pick the clothes up from the basket.</p><p>"Okay, I washed and dried your clothes. So when you eventually put them back on, you wouldn't get sick again." Paul said, placing the neatly, and freshly washed folded clothes on the bed.</p><p>John blushed, feeling as if he was being a burden all of a sudden. Paul definitely did not need to do that. To be honest, he hadn't expected for the younger man to be so delicate and welcoming with him so quickly after their conversation. It was somewhat overwhelming, and it made him feel kind of awkward that the younger decided to wash his clothes because he was too sick.</p><p>"Why would you do that?" John blurted, but the tone that came out was jagged. It was rough with a sound of annoyance that actually wasn't there, instead it was with a sound that resembled perturbation.</p><p>Paul whirled around, a bit confused at the question at first until he caught on to the intensity of John's expression. Fuck, he didn't really think about a reasoning why he did that. It was just out of concern.</p><p>"I was- I didn't want you to get sick again."</p><p>John only stared silently at him after the response, it was probably with an intimidating glare since Paul suddenly began to shy away without actually thinking.</p><p>Fuck - maybe he shouldn't of washed his clothes anyways, Paul was just trying to look out for him. Instead he seemingly just embarrassed himself, especially from the way John just stared at him.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I should've at least asked first." Paul stammered over himself, growing flustered under the heated gaze. He felt more and more like an actual dumbass within each passing second.</p><p>"No, no, you're fine. I just really didn't expect that."</p><p>"You looked upset." Paul replied before he could even think of the next words to formulate, fuck he sounded like a child. Suddenly he was in discomfort.</p><p>"I'm not." John murmured, strolling towards the drawers moving the cup of tea out of his hands, placing it gently on the dresser. "It was just nice of you to do that for me, and I just wondered why."</p><p>Paul couldn't help but to laugh as he clasped his hands behind his back. "Sounds familiar."</p><p>John hummed, nodding in response as he made his way over towards the bed to feel upon his clothes. They looked and even felt brand new, as if he just bought them at the store that very day. Still warm from the drier, a pleasing scent warming up to his nose from the laundry detergent. He wondered if he was going to end up smelling like Paul once he gets out of here.</p><p>"If you're still tired I can leave." Paul gently said, wanting to break the silence even though it was comfortable.</p><p>John looked up from his clothes, and met Paul's innocent gaze with his own.</p><p>Fuck, he wanted to kiss him so bad.</p><p>Something about him right now, in this dimmed room from the grayness of the outside seeping through the light curtains, it made John want to just kiss him all over. The gentleness of Paul's voice, and the difference of his personality apart from the days before this one. It was as if Paul was just asking for it. Asking for John to close in on him, and have their lips meet.</p><p>But, he couldn't, not right now of course. It kind of made him annoyed at himself for even bringing the pain up.</p><p>John sighed when he finally replied under his breath. "I'll be down in a few."</p><p>••</p><p>Paul pressed his back against George's chest as he finished the cup of orange juice, resting it on his lap. Paul, Ringo, and George all lounged on the couch like the young twenty year olds they all were.</p><p>Ringo was laughing at each and every little thing that happened during the run of different Tom and Jerry episodes.</p><p>"How is that cat not dead?" He asked, but the only thing he got in response was a laugh from George.</p><p>Paul was busy on his phone as the two began to socialize over the half a century old show that was playing on the television. George raised his hand up, massaging the older's scalp around the spot where his head got hit the most. It was tender, like that one soft spot on a baby's head that you have to be really careful with.</p><p>Paul purred, he actually purred. Which caused George to giggle under his breath, removing his hand from his friend's hair. "You're so weird."</p><p>"You love me." Paul replied, still on his phone as he rested his head against the crook of George's neck.</p><p>"Paul, I need to talk to you later on today." George had told him, his voice suddenly flat and serious when it came to whatever talk was ahead.</p><p>The older man paused his movements on the phone, and slowly set it down next to the empty cup of orange juice that was set on his lap too. Anxiety pulsed through him for some reason, and it made him strangely silent.</p><p>Feeling Paul tense up, George slung an arm around the older's upper torso. "Don't worry, it's nothing serious by the way." He reassured, but it didn't seem to make Paul budge until George patted his chest.</p><p>John eventually made his debut, coming out into the living room after successfully grasping his phone from his jacket pocket by the front door. Paul looked up from his phone at him, his wide eyes following John as the auburn haired man seemed to have been calling someone.</p><p>Probably his aunt.</p><p>John sat down on the couch across from the main one, the phone pressed against his ear and his head being held up by his palm. He looked ill, exhausted actually. Paul felt bad, a sad expression forming on his face as he stared at John. Hopefully, getting Michael back wouldn't be so stressful. Paul had no idea what his father had in store, especially the obstacles.</p><p>It won't just be John in this race anyways, and he meant it.</p><p>"Stuart? Yeah, I'm sick right now." John said, slumping back against the comfortable cushions. He felt like he was living in a castle to be honest, rich clothes, rich surroundings. Holy shit, but what was lacking is that he felt like actual hell. "Don't worry about where I'm at."</p><p>Ringo successfully took Paul's attention away from John before it could end up becoming creepy. "What are we doing today? If any of you aren't busy." The blue eyed male queried, feeling genuinely curious as to what the event should be.</p><p> </p><p>"You can hang around with George." Paul said, sitting up from his position. "I might take a nap."</p><p> </p><p>George looked over at Paul, and then at John who was still on the phone, then back at Paul. "What about John? He's sick, and if we leave out today he'll be all alone."</p><p> </p><p>John who was too busy with his conversation with Stuart to notice the discussion, rendered a couple of coughs into his forearm. "I don't think it's the flu, it's probably just a bad cold." He told Stuart after he gathered himself together, to be honest he wasn't sure what it was whenever it came to him becoming ill in the rain. Maybe he was just allergic.</p><p>Stuart hummed on the other end, and then he exhaled in annoyance. "What stopped you from calling me earlier? Does wherever you're at not allow phones?" He asked, while shoving an eavesdroppingPete away from him. To be honest, he wasn't sure as to why he even invited the blonde haired moron to his flat in the first place.</p><p>"I was asleep, I just woke up not too long ago. I swore I was going to call you, but it just flew past my mind." John said, feeling ashamed at himself for not reaching out to his best friend lately. He's been too wrapped up in his thoughts of Paul to even pay him any mind. It was becoming kind of sad.</p><p>"When can I see you again then?" Stuart asked, glaring over at Pete who was causing a ruckus in the background. Gosh, he really needed John around.</p><p>"Soon, I promise. Very soon, whenever I get better I really need you around. You know a lot of folks."</p><p>Stuart smirked at that, and nodded even though John couldn't exactly see him. "Yes, of course I do."</p><p>John clicked his tongue at that, glancing at Paul for a split second before looking down at his lap. "I might need your help. I'll explain more to you when I see you again, I can't really explain it over the phone."</p><p>Stuart had kicked Pete in the groin when the other man tried to fart on him just now. "You're right, to be frank with you. I'm a bit busy myself."</p><p>"I'll call you later."</p><p>"Give Paul a kiss for me, will you?" Stuart jokingly stated, pressing 'end call' before he could get a response from his younger friend.</p><p>— After setting his phone down into his pocket, he glared over at a hysterical Pete with an annoyed state. "I will literally rip out your organs if you ever do that shit again. Seriously, just go and get your stupid fucking adderall, and get the fuck out of my house. Leave the money at the table too, it better be the right amount."</p><p>"Stuart, calm down love." Pete giggled, already high off of probably his last bits of drugs. He made his way over towards the other man, who sat annoyed on the sofa with thin patience.</p><p>Pete let out a eerily drunken laugh at the expression on Stuart's face while he began to climb into the other's lap, straddling him with purpose. "You're so tense, what's the problem?" Pete asked, placing his hands on the shoulders of Stuart.</p><p>"You're my problem, this is why I hate selling to you.Always doing something to get a cheaper price."</p><p>Pete snickered, undoing the buttons of Stuart's shirt to feel all over his chest. Even though it was true, Pete didn't feel ashamed of that, because he knew Stuart would give it to him nonetheless. Both his body, and the drugs - just from a few sweet talks. It would work. "Don't say that. You don't mean that."</p><p>Stuart spat, ignoring how Pete's hands ran down his now exposed torso to the belt of his pants. "You're just a junkie." He muttered, but still, he ran his hands up the other's waist anyway.</p><p>"No, no, I'm not." Pete said, a drugged smile plastered on his face while he began to undo Stuart's belt, dragging the zipper of his pants down suggestively.</p><p>"Yes you are." Stuart replied, looking up at him with a deadpanned expression.</p><p>"I just think, as your favorite customer, you should just -" Pete shifted his hand into the pants of the older man, cupping his member into the warmth of his trembling palm. He didn't miss the way Stuart's breath caught in his throat. "- let me off a bit. What do you think baby?"</p><p>"I think you're a fiend." Stuart heavily breathed, chuckling in disbelief.</p><p>Pete smirked at that, chaffing his hand against the hardening dick in his gentle hold. Stuart squirmed underneath Pete, withering around breathlessly as his member twitched in delighted interest from the attention. Pete made a noise at that, "Ah - you're so cute. All hot and bothered beneath me. I'll suck you off if you let me take the drugs for free."</p><p>"No." Stuart growled out in a wrecked tone, which made Pete's hand movements quicken dramatically.</p><p>Stuart arched his back, withdrawing a soft moan as he tried not to buck his hips up against the soothing feeling of pleasure swooping him up. Fuck - it always had to be Pete's hands to have him up in the damn clouds, ready to give up his business just for the sake of getting pleasured.</p><p>It wasn't like he never had sex, it's just because he simply didn't have the time for it. It was the last thing that would pop up in his head.</p><p>Pete took a step further, leaning forward to press gentle kisses against the flushed skin of Stuart.</p><p>"Shit." The older muttered under his breath, whining pathetically when Pete's thumb drifted over the moistured head of Stuart's cock.</p><p>Turning his head so that he was facing the younger's cheek, lips brushing against his earlobe, Stuart managed to make out a few words between his panted breaths: "Get off me or.. I'll call the cops."</p><p>••</p><p>John ate the food like an actual pig.</p><p>For a sore throat, it really did shock Paul, Ringo and George for him to be eating so aggressively. George had his mouth dropped, a fork of food paused in mid movement as he watched John eat his third plate. Ringo nudged both of them, scolding the two through his expressions to not judge how much food John was consuming under five minutes.</p><p>"Fucking hell this is so good." John moaned out over dramatically, before hungrily shoving some rice into his mouth with another moan. George couldn't help but to start laughing from the sudden sound, much to Ringo's disappointment. Paul smiled, shaking his head as he held his hand over his face to giggle softly into his palm.</p><p>John grasped a napkin from the side of him, placing it on his face which surprisingly wasn't that stained. He burped into it, and then sat back against his chair not even noticing the eyes following his movements. John removed the napkin from his face, looking around innocently at the three people staring at him amusement.</p><p>"What?" John asked softly feeling a bit shy from the gazes, he consciously began scratching at his cheek.</p><p>"If you were that hungry, you could've told me." Paul said, eventually removing the smile from his face to replace it with a serious expression.</p><p>"Huh?" John arched a brow, dragging his tongue along his teeth to get the excess food out.</p><p>George snickered, but then he gathered himself eventually to reiterate the question Paul had asked him. "You ate like three plates of our food. Why didn't you tell us you were that hungry?"</p><p>John had visibly hesitated, not meeting their eyes and then he mumbled a soft: "I'm a little shy."</p><p>It was Ringo's turn to look aghast.</p><p>"Plus, I haven't had rich people food since I last knew my other aunt from my dad’s side." John said, not even realizing what he just said before he caught onto the confused looks.</p><p>"I'm not rich." Paul said, but then he thought it over for a couple of seconds until he spoke again. "Me and Michael just have a long line of.. idiots that had good jobs I guess? I'm guessing they dick sucked a lot of rich men to get to where we are now. So did my father, he probably bent over for a lot of—"</p><p>"Either way, at least all the fortunes from Jim is going to you and Michael. Once he dies, you'll be a multimillionaire by the end of this year." George cut in, wanting to soothe the growing irritation he sensed from Paul down.</p><p>John's eyes bulged almost out of his head. Well holy fucking shit. Imagine how much Paul will cost by the end of his life, he was bloody rich. Ringo cleared his throat, looking at Paul curiously. "If you're so wealthy, then why aren't you living in a bigger house or a more suburban neighborhood?" He asked, not even meaning to sound condescending.</p><p>Paul felt as if he was suddenly put on the spot. "I don't really know what to spend it on, and I don't care about the money really."</p><p>Before anyone could speak again, Paul's expression grew dark. "It's my dad's money, mostly. Just another reminder that he exists."</p><p>John acted clueless, even though George told him about what Jim had done to Paul. He still wasn't sure what to do with that information, and it still bothered him that George had rambled off to him about it. "What's up with your dad anyways? Is he still sick?" John asked Paul, which made George's anxiety brew uneasily inside of him.</p><p>"I don't know, I haven't gotten a call since he was admitted." Paul replied, and then he crossed his arms over his chest as he thought back to it.</p><p>John hummed, shaking his head. "I wonder what goes through that man's hellish mind." He murmured, but unfortunately Paul caught up to that comment.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Paul asked and he was frowning, he understood what John was saying but he didn't know why he was saying it. It's not like he really knew what went on between Paul and his father, right?</p><p>Wanting to get off of the subject of Paul's father before the abuse gets slipped out somewhere in the conversation, George turned to Paul. "Uh Paul, that thing I wanted to tell you? Can we go in a room to talk about it?" The younger questioned, fidgeting uneasily which caught John and Ringo's attention.</p><p>Paul withdrew his questioning gaze from John, and gave his attention to George. "Yeah, yeah we can."</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. seabreeze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the next chapter is already done so look out for that prbly tomorrow or the day after. excuse the errors!! have fun! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul tried not to be anxious, seriously, he was shaking in his shoes from the expectations that were ahead of him.</p><p>George led him into a lounging room, a room they barely used unless it was for Paul's episodes or deep talks in late nights. The presence of the room banked a room of anxiety inside of his head, he wasn't sure why though. Hopefully George doesn't bring up the situation where he had to dress John down earlier.</p><p>Closing the doubled doors that provides an entrance to the room, and locking it - which made Paul flinch - George turned towards the older with a nervous expression on his face. "So I uh, remember like a couple of days ago when um.." The younger began, finding it hard to look the older man in the eye for some reason.</p><p>Paul shoved his hands into his pockets to avoid them twitching embarrassingly. George knew better than to make Paul antsy like this, it led to a lot of things that didn't involve the synonyms of fantastic. Unfortunately, Paul couldn't hold the mounting impatience inside, and he ended up gritting out in a unfamiliar tone: "Please, just spit it out." </p><p>George gathered himself, visibly seeing that Paul was almost sweating from the pressure that really was not supposed to be intense. It was just something George had been bottling up awkwardly. "Okay so, I know you told me to forget about that kiss - but I always find it clawing back sometimes. I don't want things to be weird between us, and I feel like there's some things you haven't been telling me."</p><p>Paul frowned, and stared at George all confused until the memory came back up in his head. "Oh." He emitted, a soft sound coming from his lips.</p><p>George reached for the back of his neck, scratching it nervously as he continued meekly. "Yeah.. I just want to know, why'd you kiss me? I mean- it's not like I didn't enjoy it. I did. But why did you do it?"</p><p>Well Paul, why did you do it? What was the reasoning of you coming up to your childhood best mate and bumping lips, and tongue with him? Not even just lips, <em>tongue - </em>that was a bit of a stretch even with the kiss happening. </p><p>Paul felt his mouth slowly drifting open as he tried to make out a reason, but it was hard.</p><p>Even when the answer was simple, obvious in his head, and all. For some reason he couldn't end up getting a word out, and George eventually noticed it.</p><p>"Maybe I'm coming off too aggressive for you, too upfront." George said, and then he began to approach the older who had seemed to be frozen in place. Grabbing Paul's chilly hand, and squeezing his palm to reassuringly so that he could relax the older, George presented a soft smile.</p><p>Paul shook his head, glancing down at their hands for a couple of seconds before looking back up at George.</p><p>Still, there was nothing, he felt absolutely nothing.</p><p>Not a single feeling that could be passed on as anything involving romantic affection for the younger man. Fuck - even when he was purposely looking for it by analyzing George's facial features. All the things he felt were platonic, and it made him a bit uneasy.</p><p>George sighed, and spoke again but softly. "I just find it weird how you kissed me, and then how you would get mad whenever I'd do something with John." He said, but there was a hesitance in his voice that made Paul feel like a self centered asshole.</p><p>Holy shit, there's no reason why George should be this nervous from something that happened between them. They'd usually have smooth talks that didn't take long to settle whenever there was an awkward patch in their relationship.</p><p>"We're all friends now, I guess. But I still feel a bit awkward whenever I interact with him, as if you'd get mad at me or him." George explained gently, and then flickered his eyes up at Paul's intense gaze before gazing down shyly at their hands again.</p><p>Still though, as the silence chimed on Paul still couldn't find a good way to excuse the kiss. Good thing George was distracted, drawing soothing circles into the middle of Paul's palm with from tip of his fingers.</p><p>Paul shivered, and then he cleared his throat. "I think that - I like you." He said, feeling extremely detached from his soul when he spilled that out.</p><p>There was a beat, and then George found himself flustered, looking at Paul with wide, confused eyes as if he misheard him. "What?"</p><p>Paul clicked his tongue at, moving his hand at an angle so that he grasped tightly at George's wrist. Pulling the younger in closer, he repeated himself but with much more annoyance towards his own self. "I <em>think</em> I like you."</p><p>There was a beat, and then a forty-eight second staring contest between the two young men.</p><p>"Out of all people." George scoffed after gathering himself together, moving his wrist away from Paul's already loosened grip. "You're lying, there's no way!"</p><p>"I kissed you because I like you. There's your answer. I think I have a crush on you." Paul said, baffled at the denial George was having, even if he did have a crush on the younger there was no way Paul would walk away with all of his pride from that.</p><p>"Bullshit." George squinted, finding this more of a joke than he originally thought it was. He had no idea why he was so nervous before, it seemed as if him and Paul could never have a dull moment due to one of them breaking the ice.</p><p>Paul blinked, a cutely confused expression on his face as he tried to justify himself. "Who do you think you are? Invalidating my feelings for you?" He asked, trying his best to look genuinely offended but when George busted out laughing it took all the seriousness away from the whole situation.</p><p>"You don't have feelings for me Paul. That's- you just don't. I can see it in your eyes. Don't lie to me."</p><p>Paul shook his head, panicking on the inside when he tried to register what George was saying. "I'm not lying. I do, I really do like you."</p><p>"I'm flattered that you liking me would even come across your mind. If you actually did, I'd be lucky since the most prettiest bloke I ever met has a crush on me." The younger said in response, the faint sighting of a smirk on his face was extremely noticeable.</p><p>Paul blushed, and held his hand up to object to that, but the compliment only spread through him like wildfire. He was too flustered to speak out another sentence so he just let George have that one for now. Paul resided to chewing on the inside of his mouth, moving his eyes to the floor as George chuckled softly under his breath.</p><p>"I think you kissed me because you wanted to try something. Even if it did catch me off guard, I had a feeling there wasn't really anything behind it. I just needed confirmation, and I'm not good at that, which was why I was nervous." George explained, thinking back on it for a bit as he placed his fingers against his lips.</p><p>Paul sniffed, and distractedly itched at his nose as he met George's eyes again, embarrassment clouding his senses. "I don't know what you're talking about." </p><p>"Yes you do!"</p><p>Paul scowled becoming irritated at himself, and everyone else at the moment. "Then why do I get this annoying fucking feeling whenever I see John touching all up on you? Is- is that not me getting jealous for you?" He asked, becoming genuinely frustrated with this issue at hand.</p><p>George huffed, and slapped his palms onto his best friend's cheeks, bringing their foreheads together. So that he could talk in a condescending tone as if Paul was a child. "Listen to me, friend. I think it's not me you get jealous for, but it's John. Don't try to excuse your way out of this one either, if you have a crush on John, it is okay."</p><p>Shoving the other off of him, Paul thought it would be stupid to deny it at that point. Especially when George had seen basically everything, there would be no reasoning in denying it. However, Paul still opted to justifying himself. "Just because you saw me on top of him doesn't mean that I have a crush."</p><p>"I didn't bring that up, did I?"</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"Speaking of, what were you doing on top of him anyways?" George asked, moving his bushy eyebrows up and down suggestively.</p><p>Paul felt the hair on his neck rise, a heated blush becoming plastered on his cheeks. "I couldn't reach that well. You know it's not my fault of stunted growth! You're short too so don't even start."</p><p>"Paul, of course I wouldn't make fun of your stature. It's not your fault. Being five foot seven isn't bad anyways."</p><p>"And a half." Paul muttered under his breath, looking at his legs.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Fuck his father, honestly. Also who the fuck let anxiety and paranoia induce stunted growth? That’s just not fair.</span>
</p><p>"Same thing."</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>••</p><p>"Hey." John greeted, startling Paul who whirled around with a blueberry muffin in his propped up in his mouth.</p><p>The younger had a placed hand over his chest from the sudden appearance, not expecting John to be there at all since the four men all dispersed to do different things around the house.</p><p>Paul took the unbitten muffin out of his mouth, and smiled politely at John. "Hi. Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine, I was just wondering if you could take me home." John answered, looking at Paul in the eyes which made the younger man flush from the sudden and unashamed eye contact.</p><p>Paul was honestly taken aback, raising his eyebrows he looked up at John with a confused expression. He hadn't known that John was opted to leaving so soon, and he visibly still looked ill. Outside looked grey and unwelcoming, with subtle drizzles of rain here or there.</p><p>Softly, Paul responded. "You want to leave?"</p><p>John wasn't prepared for when Paul unintentionally stared up at him through those thick, undeniably long eyelashes. His breath caught in his throat, and he managed to rip away the eye contact in time before he could faint. 'Gosh Paul, the power you have over others without even knowing.' John had thought to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>"I don't want to leave, but I have to." John replied, trying his best not to just drop the departing and go back to the guest room forever. Paul's space was so endearing, so homely and satisfying - it would really suck ass to leave so soon.</p><p>Paul tried to ignore the feeling of disconsolation formulating inside of his chest.</p><p>There was no reason why he should be feeling down about that, it wasn't like John lived here, Paul just took him to his home anyways because he was too sick to even walk. John certainly is walking now, even though he still looks a bit flushed in the cheeks from the virus running through him.</p><p>"Well, okay. Just give me a couple of minutes. Only take you home." Paul said, taking a gentle bite out of his muffin as he brushed past John to head on over to the coat rack.</p><p>John had suddenly grasped at Paul's forearm though, causing the younger man to still. Pulling Paul back, he looked him in the eyes with a serious expression. Paul blushed, noticeably confused that John had stopped him from moving away. "John?"</p><p>"You're going to get Michael back. I'll find a way. Even when I don't know where to start, every move I will make from this point on is making sure you're happy with Michael." John had told him firmly, keeping his grip on Paul's arm, holding him in place.</p><p>Paul felt his stomach flutter, and something inside of him switch on like a light in a darkened room. His face heated up at the unfamiliar feeling began to swirl around inside of him. It wasn't the jealous feeling he felt whenever George and John would become physical with each other, it was similar to it but softer, more fluffier.</p><p>Paul had no idea what it was, but the longer he listened and stared at John, the more the feeling would grow.</p><p>"I- gosh, I feel like it'd be an understatement to say thank you." Paul said, looking away, suddenly feeling as if he was swept off of his feet by this fucking man.</p><p>John smiled, bringing a hand up to cup Paul's warm cheek into his palm. It felt like he had to touch him, especially the cherub cheeks that were begging for attention. Paul looked up at him, seeming absolutely more adorable with half of his face squished by John's hand. "Ah, you're so cute." He said, gingerly squeezing his cheeks delightfully as Paul began to shy away.</p><p>"Stop it, you're ruining the moment."</p><p>"No, wait, c'mere." John said, grasping the younger by his waist to pull him back forwards.</p><p>Paul let John have his fun with his face for a couple of more seconds, until he eventually squirmed his way out of the older's reach. A hand placed on John's chest so he could playfully shove the other way whenever he decided to move close. "Aren't you sick? Don't you want me to take you home?"</p><p>"You said in a few minutes."</p><p>"I said - give me a couple of minutes." Paul replied, jabbing his finger gently into the middle of John's chest. </p><p>John hummed and sniffled, scratching at the bridge of his nose. "Can I keep these clothes?" He suddenly asked, looking down at Paul's sweater that was still on him. "They're very comfortable, and plus the scent of you smells really good. I don't care how weird that sounds."</p><p>Paul let his eyes wander John's body, and the older watched with significant amusement. It seemed as if now Paul was checking him out more than John would to him, and he couldn't say that he did not enjoy it.</p><p>"I didn't know that was your style." Paul said, a smirk playing dangerously on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>"It's not, this shirt's a bit womanly but I at least need a souvenir after having spent time here in this house."</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes, and managed to shove a hoarsely laughing John. "I wear both women's and men's clothes you dick head." He said, feeling a bit offended from the 'womanly' statement.</p><p>Sensing that Paul was actually upset, especially from the genuine force of that shove. John backpedalled almost immediately, not wanting to offend Paul again. "You look good in both, so it doesn't matter."</p><p>"If it didn't matter, then why say anything about it?"</p><p>John pouted, smoothly grasping at Paul's hand to interlace their fingers together. Paul let him do so even though the urge to send John home suddenly increased. Feeling butterflies in his stomach when John squeezed their hands together, Paul only made a sound that resembled a lion cub's growl.</p><p>"I just said it looks womanly on me. I'm not judging you on what you wear. You look good in everything." John had told him, brushing this thumb against the soft skin of  Paul's hand. The younger's face grew more relaxed within each passing second, it made John want to kiss the remaining little frown off of Paul's face.</p><p>"Shut up." Paul softly replied, which made John chuckle lightly from the cuteness of an annoyed Paul. "I was always bullied for what I wore back then, especially at school." He said, suddenly feeling embarrassed that he took the comment to heart, John probably thought he was sensitive.</p><p>"Fuck those kids."</p><p>Paul stared at him wide eyed, and kind of shocked but he wasn't exactly against those words. John only smirked before asking: "So can I keep the clothes?"</p><p>••</p><p>"Paul, I have to ask you a question." John said as soon as Paul had parked at in front of Mimi's home, he ran a hand through his hair as he turned around in his seat to face the younger.</p><p>Paul had all of his attention on John, undivided and all. "What is it?"</p><p>"Do you know who Stuart is?"</p><p>Paul wasn't sure whether or not he should nod his head at that. For some reason, he got a little nervous in the stomach area since the question was out of nowhere. Oh hell, please don't let it be the bloke he ran into at the drug store. "I- well I met a Stuart at a drug store the other day, when I had to get medicine. Why'd you ask?" He responded, looking at John with a curious expression on his face.</p><p>John nodded, thinking it over for a couple of seconds. Well there shouldn't be much of an introduction between the two when the time comes. That's a plus for John since he had no clue how Stuart would act around Paul, especially since he basically called Paul John's sub. The whole meetup would be a headache.</p><p>"Stuart is my best friend. Just like how George is to you, but less gay."</p><p>Paul attempted to slap John's chest, but the reflexes from the older man was quick enough to see the hit coming. Paul scowled as John began to laugh, finding the offended expression on Paul's cute face extremely hilarious.</p><p>"I hate you." Paul whined, trying to move his hand out of John's grip, but he felt so weak to even put up a minimal fight. "You're so mean."</p><p>"Anyways," John began, holding Paul's smaller hand in both of his larger ones. "I was on the phone with him earlier back at your flat. He knows a lot of people, and I'm pretty sure if I could discuss the situation with him then he can also help us."</p><p>Paul felt some type of way when he noticed John's eyes lighting up at the mere thought of this Stuart guy. Well, this is getting fucking weird. "I need to meet him first before you tell him our business." Paul said, making a serious face at John. "You don't even know most of my business either."</p><p>"What do you mean?" John asked, raising a questioning brow. He chose the option of having no idea whatever Paul was talking about.</p><p>"You don't know why my father decided to do what he did. I honestly don't know why either."</p><p>John furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Paul diligently. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but then he decided that it was too soon to even bother, next time would be more appropriate to ask a question.</p><p>Instead John had brushed the tip of his fingers along the soft skin on the back of Paul's hand, and dived his attention to it. "You've got small hands."</p><p>"Don't start, they're average size."</p><p>"Compared to mine. They're small." John said bluntly, running his fingers gently along Paul's knuckles.</p><p>"Well you're just big."</p><p>John smirked. </p><p>“Shut up.” Paul said, face growing red from the hidden message of that exchange.</p><p>Paul had subtle scars here and there on his hands, questionable bruises that looked years old marked up wrist.</p><p>What the fuck?</p><p>John eyed his arm even more, making Paul slowly squirm around from the visibly concerned gaze John had brought upon his arm.</p><p>Humming, John gently moved his hand up Paul's arm even more moving the droopy sleeves of his shirt so he could reveal much more skin.</p><p>Although his skin was soft, there was noticeable marks on certain spots of his arm. As well as scars.</p><p>Holy shit, was this from his father or from him? It wouldn't make any sense if they were from Paul. These looked years old - but still there, as if it was never fully healed. John suddenly wanted Paul to strip his clothing off so he could check for any other bruises painting his delicate body.</p><p>Paul's breaths had quickened, he was trying his best to rip his arm away from John's laser eyes. "Hey, John? What ar- what are you doing?" Paul asked, forcing a strained laugh as he tried to withdraw his arm away from the older man. "Stop it you weirdo, give me my arm back."</p><p>"Who did this to you?" John asked, the tone of his voice causing Paul's breath to catch in his throat. John knew who did it to him, but he decided on not directly asking if it was his father. It would bring a tide wave of angst that hadn't need to be there.</p><p>"Kids at my school." Paul half lied, feeling himself become relieved when John had finally loosened his grip on him. Immediately he drove his sleeve down, ignoring the unconvinced glare of John. "They'd always put their hands on me, and I guess the wounds never healed." He said, not wanting to meet John's eye right now.</p><p>"They did all of that to you? Your dad let them do that to you?" John asked, feeling himself grow annoyed at the obvious lie Paul had told him.</p><p>"They're old scars John. I'm fine now, can't you see?" Paul asked, getting annoyed from the persistent questions and the unashamed violation of his privacy. Gosh John, what the hell.</p><p>"If you've been hurt before, we're going to talk about it."</p><p>A sudden wave of hot red inflammation ignited in Paul's head, and it caused him to wince. "You're stressing me out. Can you please stop, we'll talk about it someday. Don't you have to leave?" He murmured, wanting to go home extremely bad right now since John drove him to the edge with a sudden interrogation.</p><p>John analyzed the boy for a bit, feeling stupid for stressing him out. "Paul?Oh shit. I'm so sorry, love." He said, immediately reaching over to comfort the younger. The pet name had just slipped out carelessly without him rechecking the words he said.</p><p>The sight of Paul in obvious distress scared him, similar to the day the man came up to his doorstep. </p><p>Paul, who was trying to register his surroundings before confusion set in, didn't even notice the pet name. Or maybe he did, but it wasn't important.</p><p>Paul shivered when John wrapped his arms around him, protectively squeezing him against his chest. The hug was something that was desperately needed, and plus John smelt extremely good.</p><p>"Calm down, breathe for me, we'll talk about it alllater. Whenever you're ready." John said, holding Paul close to him until he felt the trembling cease for now.</p><p>Jim McCartney, you have a first class ticket to hell.</p><p>••</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 1, 2, 1.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw // past child abuse</p><p>there’s a whole lot of fluff mixed with angst in this one chapter. sheesh</p><p>anyway the next chapter is already done so stick around!! :) </p><p>excuse the errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>— <span class="u">Three days later on a Friday</span>.</p><p>George had opened the front door, only to be welcomed by John with Michael happily seated on his shoulders. "Woah, how'd you two even get here?" He asked, stepping aside so John could trot in humming a fading tune.</p><p>"Burning calories help." John replied, swooping Michael from his shoulders to place the little munchkin on the floor. "Mimi's busting her ass somewhere and I was too lazy to take him to school."</p><p>George shook his head, holding both of his palms out so Michael can slap it relentlessly with his two little hands all the way to exhaustion. "You can't be lazy to take a child to school, he needs his education John. That's not a good look for you." He scolded, in return the older man had only rolled his eyes.</p><p>"It's just one free day. Plus it's Friday, so it doesn't matter." John said, becoming annoyed with the conversation. School is so shit, who would willingly send their kid off to a building full of nut jobs for seven straight hours.</p><p>"Yeah George, it doesn't matter!" Michael co-signed, slapping George's right palm with a force that made the other man whisk his hand back subtle pain.</p><p>"Ouch Mike, that's enough milk for you." George hissed, looking at his bruising palms. Damn, it really seemed as if Michael was getting older and stronger.</p><p>"Where's our Macca?" John asked impatiently, furrowing his eyebrows at George.</p><p>George gave John an annoyed look. "He's sick right now, probably from you and your rain colds."</p><p>Michael had frowned at that, feeling incredibly guilty about his brother being ill. "No, not Paulie. He can't be sick. First Johnny, now Paul?" He asked, his voice was significantly small and self blaming.</p><p>John placed a comforting hand on top of the little boy's head, massaging his scalp reassuringly. "I'm sure he's fine. George has been taking care of him."</p><p>George looked hesitant, suddenly growing anxious from that assumption. "Well, I'm not really sure if he's sick." He said, not meeting the confused gazes of Michael and John.</p><p>"What the fuck are you on about him being sick then?" John asked, suddenly feeling as if he was wasting his time with George. He was worried about Paul, and the younger man in front of him didn't seem to help his anxiety at the moment.</p><p>"What's wrong with Paulie?" Michael asked in a much more civil way, though he did understand why John was becoming aggressive with George.</p><p>"Chill the hell out. Listen, he's been cooped up in his room all day and he seems like he's sick. I guess he's just sad." George said, but it seemed as if he was hiding something and John couldn't help but notice it.</p><p>Michael was truly disappointed, all he wanted to do was see Paul. It seemed as if all of that chanting of 'we're on the way to see Paul' on their way here was for nothing. To be honest, he wanted to cry, but then he felt as if it would be a bit too over dramatic. He missed his older brother though.</p><p>Noticing the quivering bottom lip of Michael, George immediately came up with a distraction. "Do you want me to scoop you up a bowl of ice cream?" He asked, knowing that it would get Michael's mind off of anything.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Wow, are you sure?" George asked, exercising his voice to sound more convincing.</p><p>Michael looked at him, annoyance present in both his expression and voice as he answered: "Yes, I'm sure."</p><p>John shook his head in disappointment when George continued to try and stupidly convince the younger boy to choke down some ice cream. To him this was getting ridiculous, and how fast John's patience was thinning was getting ridiculous as well.</p><p>"George, seriously.. what the fuck is up with Paul? He wants to see his brother, and I want to see him too." John said, quickly earning him a little grunt of agreement from Michael.</p><p>"Michael, go and watch some TV. I promise I'll call you when Paul is ready." George had ordered after a couple of seconds, gesturing the younger boy to move away from them.</p><p>Michael decided to argue no further, something that wasn't usual with other kids his age. Nodding his head obediently, he turned around to trek his way down the hall towards the living room.</p><p>When the child was out of their sight, John looked at George expectantly. "Okay you told Michael to fuck off, now what?" He had roughly asked, squinting his eyes at George.</p><p>"Earlier this morning, Paul got a call from the hospital his father is staying in. He was told to go and see him, so he did go but.. I guess it didn't well." George had explained, lowering his voice so he could make sure Michael was not eavesdropping.</p><p>"Oh, so his father isn't dead yet?"</p><p>"No John, he's still alive." George answered, and then a hurt look became drawn on his face. "I don't know much of what had happened in the hospital. He didn't even say a word to me or Ringo about it, just went straight into his room."</p><p>John had sighed, feeling all of the positivity that was once there suddenly decreasing. "That old fuck. What does he have against Paul? Why does he put him through so much?" He asked, a growl located in his voice from frustration. Paul was too precious to him for this shit to be happening - right now.</p><p>"Father's that are extremely wealthy seem to always abuse their kids. Look at the fucking Menendez Brothers for fuckssakes."</p><p>John thought back to those bruises located all on Paul's arm, and something evil had twisted inside of him. "Have you.. have you seen Paul shirtless?"</p><p>George had blushed at that, wondering where the fuck that question had came from. "What? Are you serious right now? This is what you think of when I bring up the Menendez brothers?"</p><p>"No you fucking idiot. Yesterday, I noticed scars on his arm. I just wanted to ask you if you've seen him fully shirtless, and if you noticed anymore bruises."</p><p>George blinked cluelessly, feeling embarrassed and a bit insecure from how he had been acting. Gosh, he felt like an actual dumbass. "Oh- well.. not really. He doesn't really go around shirtless like that for me to notice."</p><p>John felt himself become uneasy, he hoped that Paul hadn't had any significant bruises all over his body that he hid from those oversized clothes. Gosh, this whole thing has him panicking on the inside and somewhat on the out since George was staring at him with concern.</p><p>"Those scars on his arm were self inflicted by the way. Most of them came from when his mother had died, he just wouldn't stop with the knives." George said softly, he felt as if he was digging himself into a bigger grave by sharing confidential stuff like this. However, John looked as if he was going to faint if he didn't explain where the scars came from.</p><p>"George, shut up. I really- please, don't share shit like that without consent man." John said, feeling insanely uncomfortable with the conversation right now.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I just- fuck please don't tell Paul I told you that."</p><p>John made no promise to that, instead he changed the subject. "Where's Paul's room?"</p><p>••</p><p>John opened the door, quietly slipping inside of the large and dimmed room. The bed looked huge for one person who wasn't even that much above height, it was too dark for him to actually make out other things in the room. To he honest, the only thing he cared about was the lump, that was obviously Paul, under the thick covers of the bed.</p><p>He walked over towards the bed, and reached out to switch on the lamp sitting on the bedside table. Paul had flinched under the covers from the light, and that was when he emitted a unintelligible groan.</p><p>"Macca? It's me John, c'mon, let me see you princess." John said gently, feeling his heart hurt when the lump began to squirm away from him.</p><p>"I look ugly right now, please leave."</p><p>John genuinely gasped, frowning immediately as he knelt on the side of the bed to hover over Paul's frame. "What? You? Ugly? That's incredibly blasphemous to even think."</p><p>"Leave me alone John."</p><p>"No. Come on baby, let me see you."</p><p>Paul shivered delightfully from the pet name, stilling for a moment. Then he ended up squirming away more from the older man. "Don't call me that you fucking lunatic." He muttered in a flustered voice from under the covers, which made John chuckle sadly.</p><p>"You asked for it bub." John said, before whipping the covers off of Paul to reveal a majestic sight.</p><p>Paul was — oh my goodness, he was - he was wearing <em>his</em> fucking hoodie. Paul was wearing <em>John's</em> hoodie, the hoodie he washed and dried for him the day he got sick, having to stay over for a couple of hours.</p><p>Paul turned onto his backside, looking physically defeated as he adjusted the fucking hoodie on his body. "What do you want? I don't feel good."</p><p>John choked out a strangled sound, feeling as if he was suddenly apart of the royal bloodline when he managed to let the sight of Paul wearing his own hoodie sink in. "Is- Is that mine?" He asked, pointing a trembling finger at the clothing.</p><p>Paul looked at the hoodie, and then took in the sight of the little bowl of noodles in the corner. "I- yeah, it is. You left it here and I was cold." He said, not even feeling ashamed since he felt as if he had nothing else to lose.</p><p>When John kept silently staring, Paul rolled his eyes and reached down at the hem of the sweatshirt. "Do you want me to take it off and give it back?" He asked, a tint of red coating his cheeks when John's intense gaze never seemed to fade. 'Holy shit, this guy really is whipped for me, I made him freeze in mid air,' Paul thought to himself.</p><p>John was trying to arrange his thoughts, especially when he saw those hands ready to pull that hoodie up and over his head. Possibly revealing everything to John.</p><p>However, as much as he wanted that to happen, he wanted to see Paul in his hoodie some more.</p><p>"Keep it, the damn thing looks better on you than it ever did on me."</p><p>Paul blushed, and frowned up at John. "Don't lie to me like that. I told you I look ugly."</p><p>"You don't, Paul, you look so beautiful right now baby." John said, a genuine and soft tone to his voice that made Paul want to melt into the sheets. "You could pull off literally anything, there's nothing ugly about you."</p><p>"Except my arm." Paul muttered, causing John to cave in on the inside. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>"Including your arm."</p><p>"Get out, your sweet words aren't going to work with me. I'm really feeling out of it right now." Paul said, feeling fed up with John's presence at the moment.</p><p>"They're aren't just sweet words baby, they're facts." John had said in return, whisking a hand up to cup the side of Paul's warm face and it made the younger flinch from the coldness. "You're so valid."</p><p>"No, I'm not. Move your hand away from me it's cold."</p><p>John used his other hand to hoist one of Paul's hands up to his lips, kissing at it gently. "I'm serious, you matter so much Paul. You're so beautiful, intelligent, and all things good. You're very valid."</p><p>Paul's breath had hitched, tears suddenly coating his vision at the much needed - gentle words that came from his friend. Gosh, he felt as if he was going to choke. "Are you seriously trying to make me cry.."</p><p>"That's not my motive, but if you cry l wouldn't mind." John said gently, caressing Paul's cheek, brushing his thumb gently against the red blemish.</p><p>Paul stared at John with a distant look in his eyes, forcing John to ask: "What happened Paul?"</p><p>Trembling, Paul's breathing had began to grow labored and extremely shaky. "My dad, he-" Paul paused, shifted in the bed to try and gather himself, then laid shaking on his backside. John moved his hand to Paul's chest, feeling how bad Paul was shaking.</p><p>He tried his best to keep a neutral expression on his face, but John was incredibly perplexed from how bad Paul was trying to hold it in. It made him wonder briefly, what the fuck did his father do to him? How much abuse was conflicted upon this young man battling his emotions in front of him? How long did Paul go through this?</p><p>Paul felt his chest grow heavy, and soon enough to placed his forearm against his eyes as tears began to seep through. "Fuck, I hate him so much." He heaved, voice crackling and filled with intense pain that only a handful would understand.</p><p>John massaged Paul's trembling chest as he cried softly into his arm. "I know baby, I know."</p><p>The younger man made a strangled sound of pain, frustration and just all out sadness. It resembled the sound of a dying animal, wounded and alone with no help.</p><p>John rubbed circles into Paul's chest, watching in the mist of his own wet eyes as Paul cried an inconsolable cry into his arm.</p><p>Fuck this was — this was so sad. This was such a loud cry for help, and it burned into John's mind.</p><p>John <em>never</em> wanted to see Paul cry like this again.</p><p>Paul had then hiccuped, grasping at the sheets with his other hand so he could ground himself whenever he felt as if he was going to slip. Paul gasped in some air, breaths coming out erratically as he continued to let it all out. "I don't know what I did <em>wrong</em> John, I- just- it's been like this since I was a fucking kid."</p><p>"You did nothing wrong, it's just him."</p><p>Paul removed his arm from his teary eyes to look up at John, and good fuck did that almost make John break down as well. </p><p>Paul's shaking hands reached to wipe his wet eyes, even though he was still gasping and heaving through his cries. "I'm sorry." He whimpered, before coughing through his tears.</p><p>"What are you sorry for doll?" John asked, confused from the sudden apology.</p><p>"I- I don't know, I'm just sorry."</p><p>John huffed a laugh, and so did Paul who sniffled adorably while new tears began to stain his cheeks. The older man suddenly crawled all the way onto the bed, and shifted himself so that he flopped down on top of Paul's body.</p><p>Paul had stifled a grunt, but he wrapped his arms around John's backside anyway despite the body weight on him. Ugh, he wishes that the medicine he's been taking didn't suck all of his strength away.</p><p>It was quiet for a bit, aside from Paul's occasional sniffles and hiccups.</p><p>"You know I care about you right?" John asked, his lips moving against Paul's neck but the younger didn't feel like doing anything about it.</p><p>"For no reason, yeah." Paul muttered a soft and weak voice that made John's heart hurt. Paul sniffed, lacing his fingers over John's backside. "Or because you find me pretty, which is also for no reason."</p><p>"There is a reason, and it's not just because you're pretty. You have such a beautiful soul, I can tell. Even when you refuse to open up to me about yourself, I know you're the type of person that would sacrifice everything to help another person out."</p><p>Paul whined, "Stop it. Those are all assumptions."</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>Paul smiled through his tears nonetheless, knowing John wouldn't be able to see it. The feelings washing over him made him internally at a battle, gosh John always made him feel like he was in a battle with himself.</p><p>"Next time you should have brung me to your dad so I could have beaten his ass." John mumbled casually, trying his best to not plant kisses all over Paul's neck. The temptation was incredibly strong.</p><p>Paul giggled, snuggling his face into John's hair when a feeling of warmth washed over him. John made him feel so warm, so safe and - valid. Paul really loved it, there could be no other word to explain how much he loved that feeling.</p><p>Paul tapped his fingers rhythmically against the spine of John's back, moving his legs so that theirs had tangled with each other. The position was intimate, but he and George cuddled like this all of the time. Yet with John, it felt entirely different. He couldn't point it out but it was different.</p><p>"Paul, you do look really fucking hot in that hoodie."</p><p>Paul laughed out loud at that, thumping John's backside as a rebuttal. "You're so weird."</p><p>••</p><p>About forty-eight minutes passed by when John began to peel himself off of the younger man. Paul grew silent, and John had assumed that he has fell asleep when the room grew quiet after awhile. Fuck, he basically cried himself to sleep - but with the security of John's soothing presence, coercing the younger man to just release his emotions.</p><p>John slowly hoisted himself up on his forearms, and let his eyes gaze down unashamedly at a sleeping Paul. The beautiful man slept peacefully, soundlessly, breathing gently from his parted lips. There was gentle hiccups in his breaths from the crying he had went through earlier. As well was the reminisce of the hiccups, there was a flush in Paul's cheeks from the sobbing too. He just looked so fucking young, so innocent and John felt a sudden rush of possessiveness. Wanting to keep Paul away from the dangers of this fucked up world, wanting to reassure the younger that everything will be alright.</p><p>John caressed Paul's cheek, not missing the way the younger immediately chased the feeling of warmth, snuggling the side of his face into John's hand. There was a chuckle that came from John, and then there was a dreamy sigh. He felt as if Paul was an actual cat.</p><p>"You know, I hate when you cry. Even though it's only been twice since I've seen it." John mumbled, noting that Paul would most likely not hear him since he was pulled into a deep sleep. "You're going to be alright Paul, you and Michael. I'll take care of you. I- fuck I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do everything in my power to keep a smile on your face. To see you relaxed and at peace."</p><p>John had no idea where he was going with this, but he smiled at his own words anyway. "You have me wrapped around your finger. You- you seriously bring me so much joy, just from the mere thought of you." He continued, brushing his thumb gently against the soft skin of Paul's cheek. "You're valid, you matter, you're important and cared for love. Don't you ever think that you're not."</p><p>Paul had made a soft noise in his sleep that resembled a pleased sigh, probably from the reassuring words. John gazed at him for a bit longer, eyes lingering on the different aspects of Paul's lovely face. "Ah, so beautiful." John muttered, a longing sound in his voice.</p><p>Removing his hand and dropping his head down, he placed a loving kiss on Paul's soft cheek. Afterwards, John began to sit up and slowly wing himself off of the younger's body to let him sleep. It was something  that Paul needed, what with all the crying and stress. In a way George was right, he was ill.</p><p>John watched as Paul shifted in his sleep, curling up into a fetal position and clutching at a pillow. The older tried his best not to glance at the hoodie being rolled up from the movements, showing off only a small fragment of Paul's bare skin. Although he wanted to, he resisted the urge of pulling the clothing up so he could map his eyes protectively over Paul's body.</p><p>John reached towards the lamp, and turned it off as he lifted himself off of the bed. He had a thought in his head that he should wake Paul up to see his brother, but from how he was feeling right now, it wouldn't be the best thing to do.</p><p>After exiting the room and closing the door, John was scared almost half to death by the sight of a curious George. "You've fucking scared me, how long have you been here?" John asked, voice low in a whisper as he tried to calm himself down.</p><p>"Not long, but it was long enough for me to hear what you said to Paul." George said, with a guarded expression on his face. "I believe your infatuation with him is deeper than I thought it was."</p><p>John blushed at that, suddenly feeling as if he had been caught stealing cookies from a jar. "He's everything to me Georgie. I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm around him."</p><p>George made a mock-disgusted face, being over dramatic when he squeezed his nose. John rolled his eyes at him when George faked a wince. "Yuck, we can talk about that later though. I just want to know what you both talked about." The younger said, looking into John's eyes.</p><p>"It was actually nothing. He felt really sick, and so I comforted him."</p><p>George looked surprised, almost baffled even at the thought of Paul welcoming John into his room."It's actually crazy how he let you comfort him, but told me to piss off whenever I tried." He said, a pout forming on his face that made John giggle.</p><p>"Really, he warmed up to me so fast."</p><p>George smirked, and crossed his arms. "That's because he likes you. He hasn't told me, hell I don't even think he knows himself, but I can tell."</p><p>John let a knowing smile invade his face as he moved past George, wanting to make it over to the stairs so he could get going. George followed, confused by the reaction he got. "Shouldn't you be happy? Isn't Paul your dream lover?" He asked as they both venture down the stairs.</p><p>"I've known this would happen since the beginning. It really isn't a surprise to me if he likes me. However, that's not my priorities right now." John said, voice lowering as he continued to make his way down the stairs, George preying on his back.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"If Paul has feelings for me, then I'll wait until he tells me on his own time. If he wants to be closeted with it then that's also okay, but dreading whenever he'll tell me is not my focus."</p><p>••</p><p>Paul twisted around a bit before waking up, the fatal headache that took over him suddenly gone. The warmth of a body that was on top of him before, also conveniently gone. Sitting up in his bed, Paul looked over and under himself to search for John, but there was obvious evidence that he had left.</p><p>A twinge of remoteness hit him as he brung his knees up to his chest, pulling John's hood over his head. The clothing smelt so good, and felt so comfortable on him - he gave into the temptation of wearing the hood. Especially since John had left it at his home accidentally anyways.</p><p>John, John, <em>John</em>.</p><p>Paul felt his heart pound at the thought of him, and a faint blush began to spread on his cheeks. That man that he has the most coincidences with, almost all of the time. In his dream, he heard John talking to him, but instead of it actually being John it was a cat. The voice was John's.</p><p>The words were so comforting, promises being made, and praises towards Paul that made him want to shy away. It was exactly John's voice, and there was a feeling of warmth on his cheek, he had no clue what it was but it was welcoming. Like a hand, that was not slapping or bruising his cheek - but caressing it delicately as if it would tear apart.</p><p>Paul hugged himself, hugged John's hoodie. The feeling was growing immensely - almost everyday. Even when John wasn't around, and Paul had no fucking clue what it meant.</p><p>Things he did know right now is what he wanted to dissect into. That is, Paul wanted to cuddle John again. He was too much on the brink of the edge to even decipher what they were doing earlier. Paul was holding John on top of him, arms wrapped around his backside and John had his face buried into the crook of Paul's neck.</p><p>George and Paul were in that position a couple of times, but it didn't make Paul think heavily like he was doing right now.</p><p>When they'd talk, he'd feel the brush of John's lips against his neck and thinking about it now made him shiver. Holy shit. Paul was shaking with a strange feeling inducement, he wanted to do it again, he wanted to hold John in his arms again.</p><p>Paul wanted John around again, he — he wanted John around him all of the time.</p><p>These days he felt weird whenever John would leave, he felt weird when John was away from him for a longer time. To be honest - he felt weird when he realized that there was no way of contacting John at all.</p><p>Paul had then blinked, and looked at his phone placed isolated at the end of the bed. Ready to slide off of the edge so it could hit the floor, possibly cracking depending on the angle. Once Paul's remembrance of blocking John's number resided in his head, he immediately crawled over to the end of the bed and grasped at his phone.</p><p>Unlocking it, he went straight into his contacts to unblock the older man, wanting to text him something passionately.</p><p>As soon as the number was unblocked - Paul quickly began jotting down a few words onto the text bar until his mind had suddenly paused.</p><p>'Woah, let's calm down there Paul. The phone isn't going anywhere.' He thought to himself when he had noticed his grip tight on the phone was beginning to take a toll on the device.</p><p>Paul suddenly felt the feeling that he would be annoying if he just had suddenly texted John out of the blue. Especially with a fucking: 'hi i miss you,' text. Paul tried his best to not make it out to him being annoying. Yet those thoughts were still deranging his head even after three minutes of thinking.</p><p>You can't just unblock somebody and text them back with that though. It would be incredibly awkward for him to even do so. Plus, he was texting first and he barely texted first.</p><p>Paul chucked his phone onto the floor from bottled frustration, and then dumbly flinched when it broke into pieces. The phone being broken just made him even more annoyed, so he turned his self frustration out onto his pillow and beat it relentlessly to the point where feathers were protruding.</p><p>'I can't do one fucking thing right, goshdamn. All you have to do is just text John, what the hell did the phone do to you? Stupid fucking bastard. Taking your anger after your father by breaking your own shit won't serve you right.' Paul scolded, feeling so angry that he brung the pillow up to his face and screamed out.</p><p>'Oh John, why did you have to leave? Why couldn't you stay until I've woken up?'</p><p>The door opened, and in came a concerned Michael that jumped at the sight of Paul's broken phone. "Paulie? Is everything okay?" He asked softly, his eyes growing as wide as Paul's.</p><p>At the sound of Michael's voice, Paul had slowly withdrew the pillow from his face, smoothening his hand over it insanely. He had then turned around to face his younger brother, running a hand through his raven hair as their eyes met. There was a deafening silence between them when Paul had finally said a solid, but lying: "Yes."</p><p>Michael smiled, and then crept his way towards the bed to climb his little body on top of it. Paul turned to flick on the lamp beside him, then he looked back at his brother with his arms opened wide for a hug. Michael gave it to him, putting all himself into that fucking hug since he was secretly concerned for his older brother anyway.</p><p>Pulling away after a couple of seconds, Michael glanced back at the broken device on the floor then at Paul. "What happened to your phone?"</p><p>"Fell off of the bed." Paul lied with a smile, something fake and plastered.</p><p>"You silly goose."</p><p>Paul quietly laughed, feeling his hand twitch in need for something - but he had no idea what it was. Probably John's hand wrapped around his, squeezing it and holding it gently. "How'd you even get here Mikey?" Paul asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.</p><p>"John brought me here on his shoulders." Michael replied, beaming at the gentle memory. "We sung all the way here! It was really fun!"</p><p>Paul felt his insides turn into some type of candy when he let himself picture John carrying his brother up on his shoulders. Gosh, he seemed really good with kids. Paul thought that John was going to be a monster at first since Michael described him as mean when they first met up. It seems as if both him and Michael warmed up to the witty man. Paul had most definitely did, in different ways.</p><p>"Paul, why when John's around or when I bring him up your cheeks do that red thing?" Michael asked, a knowing tone in his voice as a smug smile began to grow.</p><p>"What? What red thing are you talking about?"</p><p>"I saw it when you did it with that Dot girl back when you lived with me and dad. Now you're doing it with John."</p><p>Paul was bewildered, "Michael you were like three or four when I was still living with you guys."</p><p>Michael shrugged, pointing confidently at his head with a smirk on his face. "I can remember all the way back to when I was two."</p><p>Something about that comment made Paul's stomach churn uneasily, and a caving feeling in his chest.</p><p>Paul was fifteen going on sixteen when Michael was two.</p><p>Those teenage years were fucking hectic, actual hell on Earth almost every night and morning at the McCartney palace.</p><p>Paul zoned out, his mind forcing itself back to the days he would be sprinting down the street crying hysterically and screaming at the top of his lungs for help while his father chased him with his expensive car.</p><p>There would either be a golf club in his hand or some type of substitute for a belt.</p><p>The neighbors would shun him, thinking he was just a crazy child since Jim would have to explain to them that Paul was mentally ill. Dragging the screaming boy off of the porch in front of homes of other wealthy people, and then heading back home to deal with him later.</p><p>All of this would happen with Michael either asleep in his crib, or locked in a room with cartoons on.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Volume loud enough to suffocate the screams. </span>
</p><p>One neighbor was smart enough to call child protective services them, only for Jim to keep talking over Paul whenever the social worker would try to ask in questions concerning the environment.</p><p>At one point in time Jim had to pull a crying Paul over to the side, politely excusing himself from the social worker to drag the boy into his office. —</p><p>
  <em>After closing and locking the door, Jim had slammed a hyperventilating Paul against the door. The old man had slapped him once or twice to get his shit straight. Then he had threatened his short life if he ever tried to 'lie on him' to the social worker.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Listen to me. If you ever tried to rat </em>
  <em>me out. I'll fucking kill you bitch." Jim spat, pulling out a handkerchief to rub the tears from Paul's face. "Now get your shit together, and stop the crying before I beat the shit out of you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Paul, shaking uncontrollably from the pulsing fear in his body, let his father aggressively wipe his tears away.</em>
</p><p><em>He couldn't breathe</em>.</p><p>
  <em>He felt suffocated just from the crazy and murderous look in his dad's eye. Paul knew that he was serious, he knew it all too well. Jim did pull a knife out on him once, when the boy was around ten years old. Threatening to kill him until his mother had stepped in, pulling the frightened boy to her. Mary was willing to get stabbed because of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His mother was dead now, so if he screwed up, there was definitely a chance Jim would kill him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hurry the fuck up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I-I'm trying," Paul choked on his sobs, holding a hand over his mouth as he couldn't help but to cry harder when Jim stared at him silently, menacingly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shut up before she hears you."</em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Paul broke down even harder, almost vomiting from how scared he was. With shaking hands, Paul began to wipe his wet eyes, hiccuping and coughing as he sniffled. Slowly gathering himself together, Paul carefully tried to do some breathing exercises to calm himself down. Until Jim grew more impatient, and ruthlessly slammed his fist to the side of his son's head. The strength of the punch made Paul fly to the ground.</em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The collision to the floor made a deafening thud shake the house, along with a pained cry leaving the child's mouth when the shock went away, making room for the pain to take over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I do not have time for this shit." Jim mumbled, unlocking and opening his office door, pulling out his checkbook to pay the social worker off. There was no way she didn't hear the loud thump of Paul's body colliding with the floor, along with his scream.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> —</span></em>
</p><p>"Paul!" Michael's little voice had body slammed him back into the present.</p><p>Paul blinked back into the conversation he had before zoning out. His skin felt cold, prickly, and his head was beginning to hurt again. "I'm here, I'm here." He said breathlessly. Or maybe that was he had thought since it felt like he was having an out of body experience.</p><p>Michael exhaled, and then he had said tenunforgettable words that almost drove Paul off of the Earth. "I thought you had one of your seizures or something."</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. cry, baby cry.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors!!<br/>here’s my least fave chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's your favorite food? Since you're new to the household we should get some of your favorites." George said to Ringo as he stopped the cart nearby meat section of the grocery store, speaking over a loud tune of 'Feelin' Alright' by Joe Crocker coming from the store radio.</p><p>"Anything you like." Ringo had said back shyly, causing George to blush a bit. Oh he was so cute.</p><p>The younger man turned towards him, cheeks pink and noticeable. "No, no, no it doesn't have to be what I like Ringo. We all eat what we want to in the home, there's more than enough room for anything you like." He explained, hoping that the older man got the hang of what he was saying. From the looks of it, he did, but it seemed as if he was a bit hesitant.</p><p>It was understandable though, especially since Ringo barely talked with Paul alone. Yet that was the same thing with John and Paul, the two barely know each other but they seem to have been getting close lately. Very close. It made George wonder if Paul would go to him less or more often, he preferred the second option since Paul was his everything.</p><p>Ringo had reached out to poke at some lamb-chops.</p><p>"Those? You want those?"</p><p>Ringo withdrew his hand, nodding silently as he stared at George. The other man found Ringo to be such a cute blossom, ever since they met up. It was as if he could go to shy and extroverted within different spaces of time.</p><p>"Alright." George said, placing the lamb chops into the cart before strolling towards the steak section. Not feeling sure whether Paul wanted to eat steak again, the younger pulled out his phone and called Paul's phone to see what he wanted for dinner.</p><p>Ringo waited patiently, staring at George with his innocent blue eyes. Maybe he should be on his phone too, but the thing is.. who could he call? When the older pulled out his phone, he looked through his contacts and noted that he had a lot of friends. They don't call him though. It's always him calling them. It wasn't like he minded though, because he was Ringo, why should he mind? People are busy outside social media.</p><p>As Ringo tended to himself by looking for someone to call on his phone, George however was having a hard time contacting Paul.</p><p>The older man had missed two calls from him already, and it made George a bit concerned since Paul was the type to literally hop out of a moving car to get a ringing phone.</p><p>"Hm," George hummed, going to him and Paul's text messages to text out a: 'paul answer your phone dumbass. im getting food for us, i need to know what you want.' Hitting send, George waited patiently by the steak section for a text back.</p><p>Ringo side eyed George, noticing that he wasn't on the phone anymore and he was texting instead. So Ringo did the same, texting a random person - some girl he met in high school and became good friends with, Cynthia.</p><p>It's been at least three minutes since they stood at that same spot, and it caused one of the staff from the grocery store to stare at them deadpanned. George kissed his teeth, and turned to Ringo who was giggling in the middle of a conversation with Cynthia. "Rings, if I give you Paul's number can you text him? I think my phone is fucked up."</p><p>"Okay, give me a minute." Ringo said, before heading over to new contact. All he needed was to punch the number in. "Go."</p><p>George named out the numbers, and Ringo saved Paul's contact before texting him. The blue eyed man texted him, basically just asking him where he was at, and what did he want to eat.</p><p>George looked on, the meat didn't really look delectable here, it hasn't looked delectable a lot lately. It was as if he was beginning to distance away from meat, it made him go back and forth deciding if he should just go on a vegetarian diet.</p><p>"He hasn't texted me back yet." Ringo said, looking up and concerned at George.</p><p>"Fuck," George muttered, and then went over to John's messages to call him.</p><p>In London, John pulled out his phone to see George's called ID. The auburn haired man trailed behind his aunt, and answered the call. "What is it Geo? Mimi took me to London with her so I can't come over or anything."</p><p>"Paul won't answer his phone, and I'm trying to figure out what we can eat."</p><p>John sped up to Mimi, walking along side her as he thought what George had told him over a bit. "Well he's been sick all day, so who knows what his problem is. He's probably asleep George."</p><p>"Then Michael would have answered the phone for him." George countered, growing more worried with each passing second - especially from the looks of failure he got from Ringo every time the older man tried to call Paul. "I'm worried about them. What if something happened?" He asked, which made John hum.</p><p>"Do you guys lock the doors in the house?" </p><p>"What? What are you talking about?" Mimi mouthed as she paused her walking, she found a question like that very unusual to ignore.</p><p>John stopped walking, placing his phone on his chest to answer her. "Paul's not answering the phone and George is wondering what they should eat."</p><p>Mimi immediately paled, concern washing over her tired face as well. "Didn't you drop Michael off to go and see him earlier? What do you mean he's not answering his phone?" She asked, panic flooding her system as he snatched the phone away from John.</p><p>'Ah hell, here we go.' John thought, face palming himself as Mimi began rambling to George.</p><p>"Where's the McCartney's? What happened to them?" Mimi asked, panicking in the middle of London with an embarrassed John Lennon beside her.</p><p>"John what happened to your voice?" George asked, even though he had assumed it was Mimi that took the phone over from John.</p><p>"Don't try and fuck with me. Where's Michael and his brother?"</p><p>George rolled his eyes at nothing, moving the cart forward to keep it moving so the other person could scan the meats. He'll come back here anyway. Ringo followed obediently, still trying his best to contact Paul as George argued with Mimi in front of him.</p><p>"Fuck should I know? I was calling John to try and contact Paul, but I doubt that it would work since it's most likely Paul's phone that has the issues.” </p><p>Mimi scowled, angry frustration flowing through her like scalding water. "Paul probably took the kid and made a run for it. That bastard."</p><p>John ripped the phone out of Mimi's hand, almost breaking her already frail wrist. He gave her a glare, putting an angry George Harrison on mute. "Don't talk about Paul like that. You don't know what he's going through at the moment."</p><p>Mimi scoffed at her nephew, "John are you serious?"</p><p>John stared at her, serious he had ever been with his aunt since his mother died. "Deadly." He replied, before looking away elsewhere placing the now unmuted phone into his ear. "George are you still there? My aunt took my phone."</p><p>"Yeah, I'm still here John. Also you need to tell your aunt to back off and leave it to us." George mumbled annoyed, heading into the breakfast aisle to look at the cereals and different foods. </p><p>"Don't worry about her. She's not your problem, so don't say anything about her." John replied, not letting both his aunt and Paul get slandered at the same time. "What we need to talk about is Paul and Michael."</p><p>Ringo silently poked at a box of Captain Crunch, doing the same thing he did with the bloody lamb chops.</p><p>George threw it in the cart, not noticing the way Ringo flinched from the aggressiveness. "Whatever John. I don't know what's up with Paul. I'm just going to pay for this stuff and go home to see what's happening." He said, annoyance in his voice from everything that's unfolded for the last couple of minutes.</p><p>"You go and do that." John said, feeling as if he was the only one calm about this situation. "If they are both okay, call me back. Alright?"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>John hung up, ignoring the questioning gaze coming from his aunt. Hopefully she wasn't trying to ask any questions, he was already irritated at the situation and how everyone was reacting to it. Something simple could possibly be unfolding at Paul's house, and now they're trying to blow it up. Mimi suddenly reached out to grasp at John's wrist, turning their direction back to where they had came from. </p><p>"What are you doing? I thought we were going to the market!" John had exclaimed, following Mimi anyways since the old woman had random strength bestowed onto her.</p><p>"You're going to give me directions to where Paul lives. I'm going to pick up Michael, and we're all going back home."</p><p>John frowned at that, rolling his eyes afterwards as they began to make their way back towards the car. Fuck, everyone is so over dramatic. "Mimi, I'm sure everything is fine over there. Let Paul spend some time with his brother, that's probably why his phone is off."</p><p>"No John. Actually, Paul's father called me earlier this morning. Told me that he didn't want Paul around Michael at all, and just from this situation I may follow through with that demand."</p><p>John's eyes widened at that, realization dawning upon him.</p><p>Jim's father basically asked for Paul to visit him, and then he called Mimi at the same time? That could only mean he wanted to make sure that Paul was nowhere near Michael all of a sudden, making it direct to both Paul and Mimi.</p><p>Michael was Paul's brother, and he's very important to the raven haired man. That must've been the reason why he was so broken.</p><p>Interesting, so that was why Paul was so upset, crying to a point where he couldn't breathe correctly for the life of him. Having John comfort him unknowingly, he knew it involved Jim but not the actual reasoning, Paul was so privatized - he didn't even bring the reason up.</p><p>John's racing mind had thought back to when Paul just apologized for having a break down. Did Jim make him apologize whenever he cried? Would he manipulate something in the head of Paul that made it seem like crying was wrong? Holy shit.</p><p>What the fuck went on in that house?</p><p>John needed to do something. He felt like he had to. There had to be some records that could prove Jim McCartney was a child abuser that pushed Paul to the edge one too many times.</p><p>So when both John and Mimi sat in the car, the auburn haired man turned to his aunt. "So you've known Jim for awhile now, right? You're associates."</p><p>Mimi felt as if she already knew where her nephew was going with this, so with an annoyed sigh, she answered. "Yes John."</p><p>"What would he say about Paul?"</p><p>Mimi scoffed again, looking over at John with a patronizing expression on her face. "John, if you have a crush on Paul then that's fine. But don't ask me about what Jim has said about his son. That's none of your concern."</p><p>"Get the fuck out of here, I'm not a kid Mimi. Turning twenty three in October, remember? I want to know this stuff." John said, narrowing his eyes at his aunt who only flared her eyes back at him.</p><p>"Fine. Jim barely spoke about Paul, but when he did he told me that the boy was careless."</p><p>Mm. Oh really? Careless?</p><p>Mimi continued. "He had medications to take for his neurological problems, but he decided not to ever since he was first diagnosed with it."</p><p>The <em>truth</em> was: whenever Paul first had felt that he was slipping, he'd go searching frantically for his medicine. This happened a couple of times, and he could never locate the pills. Then afterwards, he'd get blamed for this mishap.</p><p>Mimi shook her head, and then dropped it. "Jim would beg for Paul to use his medication, but the child would always argue back at him."</p><p>— <em>Paul managed crawling out of the bathroom, into the hallway before collapsing, going absolutely numb.  — Jim crept out of the living room, clutching Paul's medicine as he watched his son convulse in the middle of the hallway. "Michael! Come here!" He called out, which made the baby boy immediately rush down the stairs from the sound of his father's voice. When Michael reached his father, the elder aggressively grabbed the boy's arm - almost tearing it out of its socket. "Look at your fucking brother." He spat, before forcing a young Michael to look horrified at a convulsing Paul</em>. </p><p>John snapped, "That can't be true. You can't just believe that old fool."</p><p>Mimi looked shocked, and then annoyed. "It's not a surprise that you're against Jim too. I don't understand you kids, I really don't." She said, starting her car while John smacked his lips<em>.</em></p><p>
  <em>— "Disgusting isn't it Michael? Just doing it out in the open, in front of us, not even caring to take his medication." Jim spat, and he forced the boy to look away by shoving Michael's crying face into the crook of his neck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>— "He needs to leave."</em>
  
</p><p>•••</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. excuses.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>next chapter is done! :)  the one after that is full of mostly mclennon fluff but i can’t rly promise you that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael hadn't felt so out of place since he was at a school recital. Feeling as if he slipped up, something cold washed over him, Paul only stared at him with an unreadable expression. His brother's grip loosened around him, and for some reason Michael felt as if Paul was dangerously upset at him.</p><p>Something oddly familiar to Michael had flashed in Paul's eyes, it was fear. Michael wondered, what was he scared about. Silently, he watched as Paul shifted away from the seven year old, all the way until he was at the edge of the bed, bile formulating in his stomach.</p><p>"Paul?" Michael asked, his voice was soft and questioning, he frowned. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"What made you think I had a seizure?" Paul asked, blatantly ignoring the question, an unfamiliar tone in his voice that reminded Michael of their father. It didn't scare him though.</p><p>The boy shrugged, wanting to keep the conversation casual. "I just thought you were."</p><p>"Have you seen me having one?"</p><p>Michael grew quiet, he felt a bit on edge, especially from the terrified expression on Paul's face. He never lied before, feeling as if it was stupid to do so. To him - there was a reason to bend it that rule right now.</p><p>Paul's face had hardened, as well as his voice. Something dark was brewing inside of him as he growled out: "Michael."</p><p>The boy flinched, feeling insanely uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I- look, I know medicine is nasty. But y-you got to take it Paul. Dad showed me what you looked like when—" He was cut off by an inhuman sound that ripped through Paul's throat.</p><p>Suddenly, Paul had catapulted off of his bed, body trembling, raw anger pulsating through his veins as he made his way into his own bathroom. Michael squeaked at the quick movement, thinking Paul was going to throw his own self at the wall from how abrupt it was. The seven year old felt glued to the bed, not wanting to move away from it.</p><p>What was happening? Did he say something wrong? Michael had several questions racing violently through his head. To be honest, he kind of forgot what the hell was happening before this situation.</p><p>Paul had then stumbled out of the bathroom, not even balancing himself as he held two containers of pills in his two hands. Heavy breaths came from his parted mouth, as he sauntered over to his concerned younger brother, collapsing right in front of him.</p><p>"THESE. These right here? <em>This</em> is what the fuck I have to take." Paul said, pain evident in his voice as he dropped the containers on the floor since his trembling hands couldn't bare to hold it anymore.</p><p>Michael looked down at the containers with wide eyes, and then looked back up at Paul.</p><p>The older continued, grasping at Michael's shoulders - still rather careful aside from anger drenching his system in red hot lava. "That old fucking monster, is a LIAR. He lies. That's ALL he fucking does Michael, he lies and lies."</p><p>Michael blinked, feeling his own little body shaking from how disheveled Paul had looked.</p><p>"He lies about me to you. I take my medication. The reason - <em>fuck</em>, the reason why I'm even suffering through this shit. Is because of HIM." Paul said, his teeth clenched as he growled out the last word of his sentence. "That bastard doesn't want me around you anymore Michael. He told me that he'll get his people to see if we're around each other."</p><p>Michael let out a shaky exhale, his cheeks flushing red as his eyes began to water. Shaking his head, he let out a panicked gasp. "No, no, no. Paul please no."</p><p>"Listen Michael, I want you to remember this. Now you know I have to go through this. I want you to know that he did this to me. You probably don't remember, hell, I'd be glad you didn't. Our father is <em>not</em> a good man, okay?"</p><p>Michael nodded, trying his best to stifle his cries.</p><p>"He's a very bad man, whatever he told you about me. Don't believe it. Do not." Paul told him, his voice was softer, he sighed - moving his hand to cup his younger brother's cheek.</p><p>"I won't Paulie." Michael had sniffed, his own hands shaking. "I'm so sorry Paul."</p><p>Paul tensed at the apology, and shook his head. "No, no, don't apologize Michael. It's not your fault, you didn't know, you were lied to."</p><p>The two boys had then cried together, Michael crying more than Paul since the older couldn't have the energy to let tears seep through his eyes. Paul had no idea how long he cried with Michael, it was probably for hours, or maybe ten minutes that felt like hours.</p><p>••</p><p>Paul had suddenly kissed his teeth and threw the fragments of his phone down on the table, earning Michael's attention from drawing a sunflower.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"It's as if this thing is fucking alive, but I can't work it." Paul said, as he just totally gave up on trying to fix his phone. Why did he have to slam his device on the floor just because of an unsolved issue of whether or not he should send a message to John?</p><p>Michael giggled, and went back to drawing. "Maybe you shouldn't of kicked it off your bed then."</p><p>Paul hummed, and grasped at the screwdriver again pulling the broken phone back to him. "I hope they aren't worried about us, you're just busy drawing anyway." He muttered mostly to himself as he played mechanic again with his phone.</p><p>Michael had only nodded in agreement, finishing his drawing before reaching over to the carton of crayons beside him. Looking up again, he couldn't help but to ask, "Was dad ever nice to you?"</p><p>Paul had halted his movements, hesitating to answer but he decided to anyways. The only thing he easily chose was to not be specific, he didn't want to give the seven year old much of a vivid image. "No, not from what I remember. It was weird, he'd get mostly upset at me when it came to me and mom."</p><p>Michael made a soft 'oh' noise, and dropped his eyes back to the crayon in his hand. He had then mumbled softly while coloring. "I guess he was jealous of you two. But I don't know."</p><p>Michael was right, but Paul didn't know. Or maybe, he did - but he didn't want to know. When he was young, Paul and his mother were inseparable. His father would give them sidelong glares whenever Mary would tickle a six year old Paul to tears. Then hours afterwards, Jim would end up kicking that same six year old Paul in the ribs when Mary was not looking.</p><p>Before Paul could zone out into the past nightmares again, he muttered a distracted: "He probably was."</p><p>How the fuck did he survive all the way to being twenty-one? Having to go through such extreme violence ever since he was three or four years old.</p><p>Michael began to hum a song that Paul couldn't recognize, continuing to color. Next thing he wanted to draw was Paul and him going skating.</p><p>Paul gave up on fixing his phone, attention spam thinning on it, so instead he grasped at a blank piece of paper that was next to Michael. "Pass me a pencil, hm?" He gently asked.</p><p>Michael obeyed, and with a soft 'ta' as a thank you, Paul began to draw whatever was on his mind. Pencil gently etching over the paper, relaxation finally washing over him after hours of stress swallowing him up mercilessly.</p><p>"I think I like Elvis now." Michael suddenly said, reaching over to grab some scissors to cut the flower out.</p><p>Paul raised a brow, hazel eyes too busy focusing on his sketch to look over at Michael. "Elvis? That Elvis Presley bloke?" He softly asked, making out a significantly well drawn eye.</p><p>"Yeah, the American that makes good music."</p><p>"Isn't he old?"</p><p>"He's dead." Michael replied, placing the now cut flower down on the table and then reaching to grab the green index paper. "But that doesn't matter, he made good music back in his time. John showed me."</p><p>Paul felt himself heat up, and he blushed at the mention of John. The older man stopped his drawing momentarily, suddenly feeling intrigued from this new discovery. "John?" He asked, looking at Michael expectantly.</p><p>"Yeah, John loves Elvis. It drives Mimi crazy though." Michael bluntly replied, drawing squiggly lines to cut with, making out the grass where the flower would sprout out from.</p><p>"Oh, well, that's interesting." Paul murmured, looking down at his drawing again before flipping the paper to start a new drawing. He felt as if it was appropriate to give John a drawing of Elvis, a thank you gesture for comforting him through the waterfall of tears Paul had went through earlier.</p><p>"When you get your phone fixed, you should listen to 'Can't help falling in love' it's so good."</p><p>Paul scoffed playfully, laughing as he glanced at Michael. "Are you in love Mikey? Who's the lucky kid?"</p><p>Michael had blushed at that question, and threw a crayon at Paul. "Shut up. Love is weird, and gross. That means you have to kiss and hold hands. That's yucky." He said, cringing at the sight as Paul laughed at him.</p><p>"I'll listen to it Michael." Paul said, reaching over to pinch his brother's cheek which earned him an annoyed hand swat in return.</p><p>"Well, what about you? Are you in love?"</p><p>Paul had froze, and felt his insides do flips as he tried to make out that question. Even though he had seen it coming since Michael would always redirect a question like that back to him, it still caught him completely off guard.</p><p>To be honest, he would feel like he was lying if he just plainly said no. Something had been nagging him these last couple of days, especially when John was around. It felt— he didn't know what it felt like.</p><p>Paul felt as if he was misunderstanding something that was probably love, platonic. The seemingly opposite feeling he had thought he felt for George.</p><p>Was he in love with someone? If so, was it John?</p><p>Paul had only fidgeted, and just looked over his portrait of Elvis that was nowhere near finished.</p><p>When he thought of love — John's face was the first image to present itself in his head.</p><p>Would it be wrong to be in love with John? Especially now - since Paul had welcomed him in with a happy smile and opened arms. The way he did that was because of the fact that John offered to help him get Michael back. So was these feelings he felt for John was because of him offering Paul help?</p><p>Paul didn't want to lead the auburn haired man on if he ever admitted that he had feelings for him, so that question haunted him. </p><p>At the same time, Paul noticed that this feeling was thereafter he got out of the hospital. Maybe it was time to open those promiscuous thoughts of John invading his personal space back up, and then dissect them.</p><p>Whenever they'd come up, Paul would immediately shut them down. Disgusted with himself.</p><p>Also knowing that John had lost his whole fucking job for him seemed to have flickered on a small feeling of realization inside of him.</p><p>He actually fucking mattered to John.</p><p>Paul felt his heart become warm as he began to answer the anticipated question: "Honestly, I think I am in love."</p><p>Michael's eyes lit up, and with a high pitched voice he parted his lips to ask who it was until a shrill of George's voice shook the house.</p><p>"PAUL! MICHAEL!"</p><p>The two boys had almost jumped out of their seats from the sudden interruption. The padding footsteps of George and Ringo making their way into the dining room made the two somewhat relax.</p><p>As soon as George landed his eyes on the two figures sitting at the table, fucking drawing on pieces of paper, George was pushed to the edge. "What the fuck?! Paul! Why didn't you answer your damn phone?"</p><p>Paul and Michael both had noticeably flinched from being yelled at. George immediately noticed and lowered his voice, but it was still firm. "I was worried about you two."</p><p>"My phone fell off of the bed." Paul said, his voice was calm and collected as if he was telling the truth.</p><p>George crumbled, and the cursed blush of embarrassment had invading his cheeks. "Oh." He muttered, before looking away and over at Ringo who only shied away from the gaze.</p><p>"Do you want me to call John and tell him Paul is fine?" Ringo had shyly asked, holding his phone up to George adorably.</p><p>"Yeah." George sighed.</p><p>Paul had blushed again, and rested the side of his cheek on his palm so he could hide a forming shy smile. "John was worried about me?"</p><p>Michael pouted. "Can you tell John I said hi?"</p><p>George looked at the two, sort of amused by how John has the McCartney's wrapped around his finger. That man's charisma must be out of this world. "Didn't seem too worried Paul, but he did want me to call him to tell him that you was okay."</p><p>Paul looked down with a small smile on his face, he was now doodling on the paper instead of continuing his drawing. Fuck - John was somewhat concerned over him? Why did Paul find that so cute? What was happening with him now? Is this because he missed John?</p><p>Oh yeah, he missed John.</p><p>A sudden idea came up in the raven haired man's head as soon as Paul looked at his broken phone, and then back at Ringo who was about to press call. "Wait! Let me get on the phone with him. I think it would be better confirmation." He said, removing himself off of his chair to rush over to Ringo.</p><p>George walked over to Michael, giving him a much needed hug. "What are you working on?" He asked motherly, sitting down next to Michael in Paul's spot.</p><p>Meanwhile, Ringo watched helplessly as Paul sprinted away with his own phone. "My phone." He comically called out in a soft voice, holding his hand out dramatically when Paul was out of his sight.</p><p>••</p><p>John answered his phone after giving Mimi some more fake directions to the 'destination' of Paul's home. Instead of going to his home, he was telling her to go to Blackpool, he had no idea how she didn't catch on yet. At least that would buy him some time to try and figure out how to hold her up. "What is it Ringo? Did you find Paul?"</p><p>"No." Paul had answered, flopping on his bed right on his empty stomach. "Couldn't find him at all."</p><p>John's smile was big, beaming, and it made Mimi look over at him briefly with a confused expression. It was rare for John to smile to a point where his gums were showing a bit.</p><p>"Had us worried there Paul, what happened?"</p><p>Mimi felt herself relax, shoulders softening when she realized John was talking to Paul. Nonetheless, she continued her way towards the home, or what she thought was the way to their home.</p><p>Paul laughed softly, heart pounding from John's voice alone. "My phone fell off of the bed."</p><p>"Your phone fell off of the bed? So you broke it then." John said, clicking his tongue while he shook his head, it was as if he thought Paul could see him.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Paul giggled, and then he began to sway his legs in the air. "So where are you? Can you come over again?" He asked, feeling a bit insecure from asking that question. That question was the main reason why his phone ended up being murdered.</p><p>"I can't right now."</p><p>Well, there goes that. Paul got silent, face palming himself. Urges to throw Ringo's phone to the floor suddenly began overwhelming him.</p><p>John couldn't help but to smirk, as he sat back in his seat. "Why? Did you miss me?"</p><p>'Yes. A lot.' Was what Paul wanted to say, but from the tone of John's voice, Paul wasn't going to outwardly admit that he had missed him. "No, I just want to steal some more of your clothes."</p><p>John laughed at that, and then glanced out the window to look at the grayish clouds, maybe it would rain today. If John was lucky.</p><p>Then he could come over in a mini skirt with leggings, knickers as well Make them lace - yeah that'll do. John could probably see if Paul could dress in that afterwards.</p><p>Woah where did that come from?</p><p>"We'll see about that princess. How are you feeling?" John said, with a tinge of something in his voice that made Mimi roll her eyes.</p><p>"I feel okay I guess." Paul replied, not really knowing what his state of feeling was. It was a gray area at the moment. "Me and Michael were drawing."</p><p>"I knew you two were doing fine. Everyone else was freaking out, meanwhile you and Michael were just...drawing." John said, glaring over at Mimi who had a blank expression on her face - she already knew that John was going to 'I-told-you-so' the fuck out of her.</p><p>"Yeah, I figured that was going to happen." Paul said, impressed by how both him and John had infused thoughts from how this would turn out.</p><p>"Paul."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>John looked at Mimi purposely, and then back at the road ahead as she drove. "Can I take you somewhere soon?" He asked, feeling a blush spread in his cheeks from how that question came out. "I want you to be around Stuart, and maybe we could do more together that day. Just us. I want to get to know you more."</p><p>Paul blushed, his eyes widening from the suggestion. The way his heart was beating right now, and how ticklish his stomach had felt made him want to scream into a pillow somewhere. Holy shit, did John just ask him out but not ask him out at the same time? What— what was he supposed to do? Paul already knew that a 'No' was not going to spring out of his mouth, so there was no way to enforce it.</p><p>Paul licked his lips before replying with a gentle. "Sure, yeah, what day or time?" He asked, not even sure where to look as his eyes wanted to loom around the room for a second to desperately gather his surroundings.</p><p>"As soon as you're free. I'm free tomorrow."</p><p>"Okay, that's fine, I am too."</p><p>•••</p><p>"John, I know you didn't just give me the wrong directions this whole time." Mimi coolly said, one hand on her hip and the other holding the gas pump up against the tank of her car.</p><p>Resting his body against the other side of the car, John had chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying his very best not to laugh at his aunt. He had no idea that Mimi would keep up with the directions - hell they were now somewhere in Darlington. John hadn't known how long he wanted to hold this undecided road trip up.</p><p>Deadpanned, he looked at his aunt. "Yeah, I did."</p><p>Mimi glared at him, eyes piercing annoyed at her younger nephew. "What the hell has gotten into you? I need to pick up that child. I don't care if Paul just called us. I don't care that you've asked him out either." She said, putting emphasis on that last sentence to rub it in.</p><p>"What the hell has gotten into me?" John asked, breaking out into a scoff of disbelief. "Are you even hearing yourself right now? They're siblings. Why can't they spend time with each other?"</p><p>Mimi took a glance at the meter, the tank was halfway full, then she looked back at John. "Jim has made it clear that he does not want Paul around Michael, I am not telling you this again."</p><p>"So you just take that and leave it? Did you ever ask why?" John queried, trying to keep himself calm so Mimi wouldn't possibly desert him in the middle of nowhere.</p><p>"It's not my place to ask. Just like it isn't yours. Now drop it John, you are not—"</p><p>"It's also not your place to separate two inseparable siblings. To be frank with you it's not anyone's place. Michael loves Paul, as well as Paul loves Michael." John had said, cutting off Mimi with a smooth edge to his voice that demanded Mimi's attention.</p><p>"John enough with this."</p><p>"Actually if that was the case you would let dad separate me away from you and mom." John blurted, suddenly becoming personal with it. His voice lowered, steady and poised. "But you didn't. Why can't you do the same for Michael?"</p><p>Mimi, silent, took the gas pump out of the tank and placed it back on the hook. It had seemed as if the whole world had gone silent all at the same time, the cars that were pulling into the gas station and the cars passing by it seemed animated. She let a sigh escape through her lips, and then she placed a hand on top of her head to knit her fingers at a spotting headache.</p><p>John didn't budge though, he felt as if he couldn't."You know what?" He muttered, pushing himself off of the car and trekking his way around the vehicle, past his aunt. "You do whatever you fucking want. I'm buying some ciggies."</p><p>"John—"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Mimi hesitated, looking as if she didn't know what she wanted to say. "Please don't." She started, seemingly directing at the idea of John buying cigarettes. Mimi never liked the sight of him smoking due to their ridiculously intense arguments.</p><p>It made it seem like she was killing him, just like how John occasionally blames her on killing George.</p><p>Turning around to walk backwards, he shoved both of his hands in his pockets as he spoke in a posh voice: "Mimi, 'it's not <em>your</em> place' to stop me."</p><p>Then he turned back around again before meeting her reaction, feeling a little too brittled to give a fuck about what Mimi wanted or didn't want at the moment.</p><p>When John made his way into the convenience store, Mimi murmured a 'fuck' under her breath and brung a frustrated fist down on the window of the car door. Luckily, it didn't break. However, she had never felt so conflicted, wanting to follow Jim's order but at the same time - the depth of what John had said began to sink into her. Gosh John, your fucking mouth does send people in a flurry of thoughts.</p><p>Mimi got into the car, starting it up and resting the back of her head against the headrest of the seat.</p><p>It was mandatory for her and Julia to take John away from his dad. Sending John to a house full of riches which was Alfred's family, Mimi had a hunch on rich people families.</p><p>John had knew that, which made him more confused as to why she decided to take in a RICH man's child. Mimi's pride was put aside though, ready to do anything, as long as it wasn't too extreme - to pay bills in her home.</p><p>John just didn't know what was coming to him, and Mimi knew it'd be safer for the then five year old to stay with her. Julia was doing whatever-the-fuck Julia was doing, luckily she'd let John stay for an occasional forty-eight hours. That's all Mimi would allow, from teenage years and possibly up to now.</p><p>Because who knows when Alfred decided to make another appearance. Hell, what if he runs into Jim McCartney? That duo would be an interesting one.</p><p>John opened the car door, instead of cigarettes there was only gum clutched in his hand as he became seated inside. Pulling the door closed, he silently sat back against the car and took in a breath. Mimi looked at the gum, relief washing over her before looking back up at her nephew. "John?"</p><p>"Mimi, you may not care. But this Paul bloke means a lot to me." John said, not looking over at his aunt, he stared ahead with glint of exhaustion in his eyes. "Like I think I'm in love with him." He continued, not missing the genuinely shocked look on his aunt's face.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah, it's not just a little crush now. I have feelings for him and- gosh Paul is a really delicate. I know we've all met on bad terms but we got close Mimi, me and him, and Michael too." John said, trying his best to explain himself without stammering over his words. "He's really sweet, he helped me when I was ill, gave me something to eat and so on. I just don't want to see him upset."</p><p>Mimi's silence was penetrating the already budding irritation that was inside of John. Everything seemed hypersensitive to him when he was irritated, and it was driving him fucking mad.</p><p>"I don't get it. You care about what our future is in fucking Liverpool, and but you don't care about I feel about it." John spat, whisking some gum out and unwrapping it with aggression.</p><p>Mimi had eventually cleared her throat, and turned to face her nephew. "John, I made a promise to your mother that I would take care of you and make you feel happy. However, I see that I've been lacking in that department."</p><p>John chewed his gum, cutting his eyes over at Mimi in curiosity of her point.</p><p>"I'll think over Jim's order, and whatever decision I make goes. As of now, I'm heading to our home."</p><p>John made no sign that resembled happiness, instead it made his irritation settle for the moment. Goodness was it hard getting to that woman, at least Paul can live another day - and it'd give John some time to get his plan into action.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. plans.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the next chapter is done already!! it’s full of fluffiness! :))<br/>enjoy this filler one in the mean time</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Much to John's disadvantage, or advantage, in a way you'd have to squint to understand - it did rain. It rained hard that night. The auburn haired man wouldn't be surprised if there was a flash flood later on, but that would just be one raindrop too much.</p><p>When John washed his face, and brushed his teeth in the loo, he couldn't help but to notice a stubble growing in. John stared at it, within each passing second, a question of multiple growing in his head. Moving a hand up to his jawline, feeling at the sharp and prickly little hairs brushing at his hand, the man made a noise of pleasantry.</p><p>Finally he was capable of growing a beard.</p><p>It was such a passion for him to do so when he was a teenager. There was no exact reason why he wanted to grow a beard so bad when he was young, it was possibly since Stuart and his friends could easily grow one. It made him feel left out.</p><p>So would Paul like a beard on him? Or does it turn him off? Such questions, such very unnecessary and hardly relevant questions. John exited the bathroom, running lip balm across his lips while he made his way towards his bedroom. The home was quiet, Michael was still over at Paul's, hopefully sleeping over but the possibility of that was dim. Especially since Mimi still wore on her shoes -something she does whenever she plans to leave out of the house by nighttime.</p><p>John closed the door to his room, leaning his backside against it once the door came to a close. Needing a few minutes to gather himself from all the shit that had transpired today, John reached into his back pocket and removed his phone to open it up. John's first instinct was to call Stuart, giving him the news that he was going to meet up with Paul - and he was bringing the lad to Stuart's place.</p><p>"First off Lennon, you never told me what the hell you needed me for. Now you're telling me that your sub is about to come over tomorrow?"</p><p>John chewed at the inside of his cheek at that, and his cheeks flushed an embarrassed red. "Don't call him my sub Stu, I really don't need you greeting him as 'Hi you're John's submissive!' it'll really fuck everyone up in the long run." He had said before seeking the answer to that question. </p><p>Stuart had snorted, and mumbled under his breath a low. "John, I really don't care."</p><p>You know what? Fuck it then. He'll explain just the 'sub' thing to him up close then. "Anyways, I need you to check in on some names for me. Like Jim McCartney's name, can you find somebody to do some research on him?" John asked, pushing himself off of the door to walk over to his desk.</p><p>"Oh yeah, I know a guy that can do that." Stuart giggled a reply after a second of silence, although he meant it - the answer sounded rushed since he brung up something else. "I do care though John, I was just fucking around with you. Whatever makes you comfortable." He continued, continuing to chuckle like a child through his sentence.</p><p>Sitting down in his chair, with an irritated growl on his face, John hissed out:"Are you fucking high?"</p><p>Stuart released a shaky exhale, it was as if he was trying to hold in a hysterical laugh. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You should try some of what I have Johnny, it'll enlighten you." The older said, something wavering in his voice as if he was going to bust out laughing at any second.</p><p>"Stuart. I'm serious, you better know someone that can help us, by next morning." John had growled, with gritted teeth and narrowed eyes glaring at his computer screen.</p><p>"Johnny, when have I ever lied to you? I promise, I'll be ready by then." Stuart had said, a smirk became evident in the tone of his voice and John could easily tell.</p><p>John rolled his eyes at that, exhaling as he brung his hand up to his forehead, kneading the tenser parts that were aching. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."</p><p>"Is that all you've called me for?"</p><p>"I'm tired."</p><p>Stuart hummed, shifting about in his bed as he moved a hand up and under his shirt to rub soothingly at his stomach. "And I miss you." He replied, a whine sheltering that sentence.</p><p>"You'll see me tomorrow, what the fuck are you talking about?" John had spat once the last strand of his patience began to split apart. To be honest, he already felt as if this shit was going to be backfire even before the day had started. Hopefully Stuart is sober enough to give him an easy time, not just him but Paul.</p><p>Stuart was John's best friend, he could trust him. There was no sign in their relationship that appearedof John's trust in Stuart being absolutely wrong.</p><p>What could happen?</p><p>"So I can't miss you now because I'll see you tomorrow?" Stuart snickered, before placing the phone call on speaker and going into his home screen. "Play a game with me."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Let's play Among Us, please? It's so fun. We have to find who the imposter is."</p><p>"Stuart, I said I'm tired." John firmly stated, with a strong finality in his response, he felt his annoyance heighten. "I'll see you tomorrow."</p><p>Stuart was quiet for a bit, leaving John in an awkward silence and train of thoughts that usually don't run through his head at any other moment. There was a moment where John began to feel bad for being so distant towards his best friend, the tension had only grown when the silence had continued. Stuart on the other end began to breathe more through his mouth than his nose. "Goodnight then John." He muttered, a much more settling soberness that conquered his response other than how he was speaking awhile ago.</p><p>Before John could respond, not sure of what he would say back - probably an apology or a softer utterance of 'goodnight' - the older man hung up.</p><p>Well, there goes that. John hadn't known what else to do, so he began to remove his shoes off of his feet, feeling incredibly tired. Hopefully Mimi felt the same way and began to dress down so she could relax for the rest of the day left. At the same time, the chances of a miracle like that happening were incredibly slim.</p><p>Suddenly, a soft knock conjured on his door much to John's tiredness. 'Fuck, what does she want?' He asked himself, managing to move himself off of his chair to head over towards the door. John let a scowl form on his face as he whisked the door opened, roaring out a genuinely angered: "What the fuck is it?!" He spat, not even caring if he gets kicked out of the house at that point.</p><p>Ringo had jumped back, not expecting to be greeted like that after willingly leaving Paul's home to drop Michael off at a place that he would usually be welcomed at. The expression on John's face had been incredibly intimidating to the blue eyed man, and so was the angered sound of his voice. "I- I was just— I didn't mean to-"</p><p>John's face had softened, but the annoyance was still there a bit, only because he wasn't in bed yet. "Ringo? What are you doing here?" He asked as he leant against the doorframe, exhaustion settling in.</p><p>Ringo had seemingly blushed from embarrassmentat the question, parting his lips to answer until George's arm came into view when it wrapped around the other's shoulder. The younger bloke had steadily pushed himself into the conversation, even when John was obviously treading on throwing himself out of the window.</p><p>"Basically.. we've all made a decision on dropping Michael off here. BUT! It was also Michael's decision because he missed you soooooo much!"</p><p>John was too tired to react accordingly to that, so he just sighed with a small smile. Looking at the two other men with a fond glint in his eyes.</p><p>"That's not true!" Michael's little voice called out from down the hall.</p><p>"It is!" They both hollered back.</p><p>John had cleared his throat, loudly, immediately capturing the pairs attention. "Listen, as much as I love both of your company. Yours especially Ringo. I really would like to get some rest."</p><p>George looked as if he was about to argue against that, but Ringo was faster. "Of course, of course, but we just want to deliver a message from Paul." He said, as he let a polite smile come across his face which had only pulled John in.</p><p>A message from Paul? What could that be?</p><p>"Well, what is it?"</p><p>George looked at Ringo when both of them exchanged gazes, giving him a raised brow as  a gesture to do whatever was needed. Ringo had then nodded, and then slowly turned back to a curious John.</p><p>At first, when Ringo took a step forward, John thought the message was a kiss until the older man locked him into a sudden tight embrace. John was a bit unprepared for such a hug, not used to emotions being broadly demonstrated like this, but he hugged back just as tight. It was as if he could actually feel Paul through through this hug, and it made him kind of sad that he couldn't come to do it himself.</p><p>John hoped Paul was feeling well, especially since Ringo and George obviously had left him alone in the house. In the middle of what seemed to have been a thunder storm. Hopefully it wouldn't pass on to the next day, which is supposed to be special.</p><p>••</p><p>— Next morning</p><p>The sound of the silver spoon hitting the sink echoed across the still-asleep home.</p><p>Paul was haunched over the bathroom sink in his bedroom, finishing taking his medicine. Side effects had already been taking a toll on him for the past week, leaving him incredibly feeble. To be honest, it was only a few days when he started giving a fuck about what the medicine was doing to him. It kept the seizures away, for the time being, which was good. Yet the headaches he'd get were still prominent, possibly even more annoying.</p><p>Paul read the label on the container; Carbamazepine. Letting his bleary eyes drone over the listed side effects, he began to feel queasy. Maybe most of this bullshit is why he's been feeling so ill these days: dizziness, drowsiness, headaches (of course), double vision, and nausea.</p><p>What would they say during commercials? Call your doctor if these side effects became frequent? Oh yeah, a call would be made sooner or later. The old medication he had before collapsing in front of John's home didn't make anything fucking better either.</p><p>Paul rinsed the spoon out with a leveled glare in his eyes when it splashed all over his grey T-shirt. Setting the cleaned spoon to the side, along with thrusting his medicine back in the space labeled for it in the medicine cabinet, Paul resisted the urge to grab some other medication and do who fucking knows with it.</p><p>Paul chuckled under his breath at the mere thought, and began to depart from the bathroom - spoon in hand. Whatever he was planning to do with the other medication has to be postponed, he has a day with John and John only. As spectacular it would actually sound to him, Paul was fucking nervous. When it came to John he was always nervous about something, even if it was a small thing, it never made any sense to him. It probably never will either.</p><p>Coming down the last step and padding his way quietly into the kitchen, Paul placed the spoon carefully into the sink so it wouldn't make as much noise. The movement of his cookie monster slipper feet against the floor never made much of a single sound, which was good. For some reason, he didn't want the others to wake up around the same time as him today. Surprisingly, the raven haired man wanted to be alone and to himself before he departs with John for most of the day.</p><p>Before he made another move, Paul took a glance at his arm and scowled at himself, then looked back at the refrigerator as if nothing happened. He walked over towards the opposite way of the refrigerator, not feeling exactly good to cook anything. Instead he pulled out a pop tart from a just bought half empty box and grabbed a bottle of water, making his way out of the kitchen.</p><p>Back to his room, he walked over towards the bedside table and placed the small breakfast down. Afterwards, Paul reached down to grab the hem of his gray T-shirt and bring it up his body, and over his head as well. Shirtless, and a bit cold, the young man trekked over towards his closet but paused when he met his full body mirror.</p><p>Glancing at himself, and flickering his eyes over his form for a bit, he hummed and clicked his tongue in some type of unspoken acknowledgment. Shaking his head, he began continuing his way into the bathroom again.</p><p>Maybe he should eat more than a pop tart.</p><p>Paul moved the shower curtains to the side, and turned the water on as quiet as he could which wasn't that much. Putting one hand in to check if it was too hot, he made a noise of approval and pulled his hand away before opening the pantry door at the other side of the bathroom. He opened the door, and reached for his towel and wash cloth withdrawing it off of the shelf.</p><p>When he got out of the shower his hair drying off took about an hour or two, and unfortunately George had woken up. Making his way into Paul's room, and crawling into the bed to sit there confused as he still tried to gather his surroundings from a deep sleep. Paul gently put the hair brush down on the dresser, whipping his head over towards George with some type of feeling that resembled timid annoyance. "Good morning."</p><p>George mumbled back a tired: "Morning."</p><p>Then he did a double take when he noticed Paul was bottomless. The long baby blue dress shirt was fortunately covering his butt, but the outline of his cheeks is what made George's eyes widen. "Paul are you-"</p><p>"Half naked? Yeah." Paul smiled despite him wanting George to go back to sleep, he moved his gaze back to the mirror and ran his hands down the length of his shirt.</p><p>George had only scratched at his forehead, and then laid back onto the bed to rest his eyes for a couple of more minutes. What a extremely rare sighting of Paul showing lots of skin to actually anyone. It's not like George minded, it just made him feel a bit more protective since Paul seemed to have been getting comfortable in his body. It also made him feel awkward as if he was trespassing something.</p><p>"Hey Georgie, should I wear this today?" Paul asked, twirling around in the shirt which caused the lower end of it to spring upwards a bit from the movement.</p><p>George slapped his hands over his eyes, and turned away from the older man with a crimson blush scrutinizing his face. "I don't know Paul! Gosh put some underwear on at least! Twirling around with your cock and balls all out in the open wasn't what I was looking forward to in the morning!"</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes, and pulled his shirt down to his knees. "We both have penises George. We're fucking men. Get over yourself, please."</p><p>"I know but you're so.. feminine." George pathetically said, removing his hand from his eyes.</p><p>"What?" Paul frowned, confused at the somewhat backhanded but not backhanded compliment.</p><p>"How do I explain it.. it's like spoiling an art piece, no that's not it. It's looking at a girl getting undressed through her windooooooo.." George rolled that long 'O' vowel off at that last sentence when he realized what he said. Especially when the expression on Paul's face had molded into something purely offended. That took an unexpected turn.</p><p>George immediately panicked, all the sleep that had once begged his body to answer had now disappeared. It morphed into something that related to guilt. "I mean- I wasn't trying to say you're a girl or anything. Or that you look like a girl. I was just—"</p><p>Paul's glare had only worsened the more George had tried to explain himself.</p><p>"It's just that you look so different from other.. blokes and that um- it makes you more delicate?"</p><p>After a couple of bone rattling seconds for George, Paul finally turned around, facing the mirror again after mentally convincing himself that he didn't have time for this. Instead of responding, he slapped at the cheeks of his face noticing that the bread cheeks were disappearing. It made him a bit irritated. Paul was no stranger to losing weight randomly, it had been like that since he was trapped under Jim's property. He ate enough, whenever he wanted to - but at the same time it was too little to keep him at a normal weight.</p><p>Eating breaks became a unhealthy habit adopted by him when at one point, he became a cute little pudgy boy around his last year of primary school. Then there was the kids, and his father, then the kids. It was mostly the kids since Jim didn't really care about his son's weight.</p><p>To Jim it didn't matter what size or shape Paul was - the boy was still a waste of life to him.</p><p>Paul felt the urge to punch the mirror, but decided against it. He refused to let his thoughts be hanged up on Jim's old ass, or George's ignorant comments about his features. George however was going to get the most frostiest cold shoulder Paul has ever given to anyone.</p><p>Starting now.</p><p>"Get out."</p><p>George looked genuinely upset. Somewhat unsure of what Paul meant by that. Get out of his room, or his house? George wouldn't mind seeing his own family again, but leaving Paul when he was practically his caregiver would be unsettling to him. George took the first option, and decided to just leave his room, then whenever Paul repeats the two words he'd take it as actually getting out.</p><p>Once the door was closed, Paul mumbled something irrelevant under his breath. Stripping the shirt off, feeling disgusted with it - he decided to go for black. Just all black. That way, shit doesn't have to be said to him about the way he looks. It's just - black clothing. A black long sleeved T-shirt, tucked neatly into some black fucking trousers with a gold and black belt wrapped around his waist. Black socks, black loafers with a gold buckle on the top of it.</p><p>Looking as if he was the CEO of some company, Paul angrily finished the outfit off with a black jacket.</p><p>To be frank, he'd rather be called the CEO of a company instead of feminine by his own best friend.</p><p>Paul snatched the pop tart from the table, and left out of the room to throw it away or something, not feeling up to eating it anymore. It was around ten in the morning, which wasn't that bad. Since Paul and John never really discussed the time, he just got dressed anyways.</p><p>••</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Mimi kissed her teeth, turning the water off from the sink before turning towards John with an irritated look. "Because your license is suspended."</p><p>"And? That hasn't stopped me before."</p><p>Mimi had only gaped at him in disbelief, before turning on the water again and pulling the sprayer up to unashamedly drench John's face with ridiculously cold water. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She then asked, continuing to spray John whenever he didn't back away quicker enough.</p><p>"Ah!" John gasped when the woman sprayed the water into his face, cowering away like an injured puppy as he looked down at his wet shirt. "Why'd you do that?" He asked innocently, trying his best to fan out of the coldness but it only made him more chilly.</p><p>"You know, I actually don't know how I've made it this far with you. I'm surprised I haven't killed you with my bare hands yet." Mimi chuckled under her breath, ignoring the idiotic question that came from her shivering nephew as she turned back to wash the rest of the plates. "Driving my car without your license may be the most funniest shenanigans you have done yet to me John, I'll give that one to you."</p><p>"Mimi.." John whined, a pout forming on his face as the woman took on humming while John was still dripping wet with cold water. "I have to go and pick up Paul, and I want to be the one to pick him up."</p><p>"I'm not letting you get arrested John." Mimi replied, taking out the now clean plate and placing it nearly on the rack beside the sink to dry off.</p><p>"Please?" John asked, a childlike tone in his voice that gave Mimi a brief feeling of nostalgia.</p><p>But still, she replied back with a stern: "No."</p><p>The boy was persistent though, he always had been and that's what made the discussion last for hours, days sometimes. "Please?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Please?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Pretty please?"</p><p>Michael walked in the kitchen rubbing his eyes, and then from the repeated sounds of begging and rejection, he did a U-turn back to his room.</p><p>"No, John, no, no, no and no." Mimi said, raising her voice a bit as if it would her point across.</p><p>John huffed, and then found out he couldn't take being in wet clothes any longer, so he postponed the conversation to go back into his room.</p><p>Twenty minutes passed by, and Mimi was vacuuming the carpet.</p><p>Michael was playing a game on his tablet while he sat languidly on the couch, headphones on his head and sat on his ears so he could drown out the vacuuming. For Mimi there was the soothing voice of Frank Sinatra, and the tune of 'Witchcraft' hypnotizing her ears. A soft and pleasant smile formed onto her face from the tranquility of the morning and the afternoon coming ahead relaxed her for once. The woman continued to vacuum, occasionally singing along until John casually had cut the radio off and blasted Elvis instead. </p><p>The woman jumped, her bulging eyes crossing over to John's dancing body at the other side of the living room. "John!"</p><p>Turning the volume up, John cupped his hand over his mouth to let himself still be heard. "Can I take your car to see Stuart!?"</p><p>"No! Now turn that off!"</p><p>John turned it up, speakers shaking and house rumbling with the voice of Elvis. Michael couldn't help but to look up from his tablet with widened and somewhat frightened eyes from what was happening. Mimi turned off the vacuum, and cupped both of her hands over her mouth this time. "Turn! It! OFF!" She yelled, causing John to double over laughing like a bloody hyena.</p><p>"I'll turn it off if you let me borrow your car!"</p><p>"John I am n—"</p><p>'YOU AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG'</p><p>"Not turning it off any time soon then!" John yelled out, before breaking out into more dancing. Michael smiled as he watched, his frighten feeling suddenly transitioning into amusement.</p><p>Much to Mimi's disadvantage, the boy snatched off his headphones and stood up off of the couch, dancing excitedly along to the thundering voice of Elvis Presley.</p><p>Mimi was about to explode. "John I swear! It's too early for thi-" She was cut off once again from the overpowerment of Elvis' voice, especially since John turned the volume up again.</p><p>"THEY SAID YOU WERE HIGH-CLASSED, WELL THAT WAS JUST A LIE'</p><p>•••</p><p>"Why're you sweating so much?" Paul asked once he buckled his seatbelt after settling into Mimi-John's car.</p><p>John snorted immediately after the words exited Paul's mouth, running a hand through his wet hair as he began to laugh hysterically. "Nothing, no reason. It was just an exciting morning."</p><p>Paul nodded quietly, and subconsciously stuck his hands into his thighs as he became a bit shy with his next few words. "How do I look?" He asked softly, capturing a still giggling John's attention. Paul cut his eyes over to John, the hazel orbs sparkling with some type of plead for a praise.</p><p>John was happy to give it to him as he reached out and brushed the tip of his fingers along Paul's cheek, causing the younger to break into a soft blush. "You look lovely baby, it's as if you run a CEO." He replied, making sure to put the 'baby' in use to see that flutter of Paul's eyes when he would register the pet name.</p><p>"I thought I told you not to call me that." Paul whined, swatting John's hand away, but nonetheless he was smiling with a new look in his eyes.</p><p>"I'll make it clear to you now that I really don't care."</p><p>Paul scoffed, and crossed his arms. "Well since it's like that, you wouldn't mind me calling you dickhead now would you?"</p><p>John sputtered out a laugh, starting the car again while looking over at the road. "Wouldn't mind it at all baby. Not at all." He replied, before reaching over to the gear shift to put the car in drive.</p><p>Paul giggled, moving his hand up to muffle the sound as he looked out of the window to see the now moving road in his view. John heard the sound anyway, taking note at how Paul is not very skilled at hiding his laughter which was cute. John likes making him laugh, giggle, smile anything that involved Paul feeling good.</p><p>John could tell that the day ahead of the two men was going to be an eventful one.</p><p>•-•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. cloudy days.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i didn’t mean for this to be 8k words lmaooo </p><p>prepare for fluff &amp; excuse the errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John smiled a little when Paul elegantly grasped at his hand, and let him gently tug the younger man out of the car. ‘Ah - he was so proper, what a cutie.’ The older thought. John rested his hand on the small of Paul's back while the raven haired man fixed his clothing. "Thank you." He murmured almost shyly, transferring his gaze up at the lad it caused John's knees to almost buckle from the perfect sight.</p><p>Paul is so <em>pretty</em>.</p><p>"You're welcome." John replied, clearing his throat as he closed the car door. "Alright, now um- I didn't know where we could eat breakfast at, and I could only afford McDonald's."</p><p>Paul looked at the logo, and broke out into a wide smile that made John's heart do several front flips. "I haven't had breakfast at McDonald's since years ago." He said before looking back at John, a picture perfect expression on his face. "And don't worry about affording things John, I'll pay."</p><p>"No, no, no. I don't want you paying baby." John quickly said, quickly shaking his head as he grasped at Paul's soft hand with his own. "You know what happened the last time you tried to pay for something." He added, mentioning back to that grocery store moment.</p><p>Paul smirked, "I'm still surprised that you aren't in jail for that."</p><p>John only laughed, gently pulling Paul forwards so that they could both walk towards the fast food restaurant. "I'm surprised that I haven't been arrested for a lot of things." He muttered under his breath, pulling Paul in close enough to move his hand over to his waist.</p><p>A kind middle aged woman held the door opened for the two, passing by them with a posh compliment that made both of the men blush. "You two are the cutest couple I have seen today! I wish I had my camera."</p><p>Paul covered half of his face, the noticeable blush on his cheeks would seem embarrassing to him if anyone else had ever seen it. John had only squeezed at Paul's hip to make sure he was comfortable with the sudden compliment, then he put on a showman smile on his face as he nodded 'thank you' to the woman. Gesturing Paul over to the cleanest table he could find, he tilted his head over to the empty seat as a silent meaning for Paul to sit down. </p><p>"Go on and sit, I'll get our food. Just tell me what you want." John said, softly nudging Paul towards the chair.</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes, I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>Paul frowned, and shifted his stance so that John could stop pushing him towards the chair. "You've brought me here so now it's my turn to do something for you. Plus, if you manhandle me, I'll just get back up." He said, stubborn and serious with what he was saying with the cutest frown on his face.</p><p>John blinked, and then nodded his head reluctantly. Paul smirked while John began pulling the chair out from under the table to sit down.</p><p>"Okay, but if they're giving you any trouble then come back to me, alright?" John had told him once he was seated, but he got no confirmation that Paul had heard it.</p><p>Before he could finish his sentence, Paul was already skipping joyfully towards the line in front of the cashier. John gaped at him, then sputtered out a soft laugh from how virtuous the sight was. Soon enough, after feeling around his pocket, he snapped back into date-mode once he had realized that Paul forgot something.</p><p>Meanwhile, the younger man stood there patiently in line with a soft smile on his face. To be frank, Paul hadn't actually known what it was like to be on a date with somebody. When he was twenty, he went on only one, but it was more-so brought on by George.</p><p>If you remember, it was with the last guy that Paul thought was cute. It didn't end well.</p><p>What the exact feeling was with this date? It was a feeling of mental repose. Paul felt it to his bones, it was something that made him feel elated - forgetting about the small quarrel with George that morning, the thoughts of his father and everything else that was negative. All that ran through his head was John.</p><p>Paul <em>loved</em> it.</p><p>"Excuse me, are you in line?" A tall and random lad asked as he came up to Paul out of nowhere.</p><p>"Yes." Paul replied politely, giving the bloke a friendly smile. "What is it?"</p><p>"I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous you are. You're absolutely captivating."</p><p>Paul was truly flattered, to be honest he never really thought that he looked astounding that day. Even when John had told him that he looked good, it couldn't seem to fill in the hole full of insecurity.</p><p>"Thanks." Paul replied, feeling flustered as he took a step forward in the shortening line.</p><p>The tall lad continued, moving closer to the younger man with a gaze in his eyes that wasn't exactly friendly, but not intimidating either. "To be honest, I was wondering if you were model with how beautiful you are. Gosh, you're so incredibly h—"</p><p>"Yeah, I know right? God really has favorites." John butted in the short exchange, - basically shouldering the poor lad to the other side of the restaurant - with his wallet out before Paul could say anything back. "Anyways, baby, I forgot to give you my money to pay for everything." He said, putting emphasis on the pet name to stake a claim so the other guy could be well aware of what he was getting himself into.</p><p>Speaking of the other guy, the purposeful shove from John made him stumble, almost losing his balance from the force of it. It caused others to look at the three with a curious expression on their faces.</p><p>Paul looked up at John with his eyes widened, ignoring the wallet that the older casually held up to his face. "You literally just pushed that man."</p><p>"And?" John asked, his lips curling into a smirk as Paul started to gape at him even more in shock. "C'mon bunny, take the wallet, you're holding up the line here darlin."</p><p>Snatching the wallet, Paul gently elbowed John in the abdomen while moving up in the line. "You and your pet names." He muttered under his breath, obviously flustered. Gosh, the man really was wreckless, but it did make Paul's heart melt since he was feeling a bit uncomfortable around the other man that was hitting on him. Like holy shit, thanks for finding me hot or whatever but I'm really just trying to get the McMuffin and go on with life.</p><p>"You're so embarrassing." Paul murmured, feeling chills rack up his spine when John placed a firm hand on his waist.</p><p>Removing his side eyed glare from the tall man he basically shoved away, John turned his gaze over to Paul with a cheeky smirk. Paul glanced at him, catching the older's eye before quickly looking back at the person ahead with a blush in his cheeks.</p><p>Eventually the breakfast had been served. With the food on the tray, being carried shakily by Paul (that damn medicine), the two men had walked back towards their table. John sat down in his chair as the younger placed the tray on the table. He watched endearingly as Paul shook off his jacket, placed it neatly on the chair before sitting down across from the older man.</p><p>Sighing, John had thought to himself how lucky he was to have Paul in his life. Even though the circumstances seemed a bit otherworldly.</p><p>"Were you born in Liverpool?" John suddenly asked, it caught Paul off guard as he was unwrapping his food.</p><p>Paul thought about the question for a bit, to be honest, he wasn't even sure whether he felt comfortable opening all the way up with John yet. But at the same time, they got this far, so there should be no reason why hesitation should stop him out. However, Paul still found it appropriate to ask him a counter question. "Why do you ask?"</p><p>John chuckled, and raised the unwrapped breakfast biscuit up to his mouth. "I told you, I wanted to know more about you. Were you not expecting this question?" He asked before biting down carefully on the biscuit, not moving his gaze from Paul's.</p><p>Paul blinked at him, lashes fluttering, then he looked down at the untouched food. "Yeah, I was born in Liverpool, Walton." He finally answered. Feeling his stomach growl, he picked a piece off of one of the hash browns and plopped it into his mouth. "What about you?"</p><p>The older male swallowed down his food, then reached over to grasp at his ice tea, suckling it down a bit before answering. "My mother borned me at the maternity hossy in Liverpool." He comedically replied.</p><p>"Hossy?"</p><p>"Hospital."</p><p>Paul smiled, "Borned?"</p><p>John rolled his eyes playfully. "Gave birth."</p><p>Paul giggled at the Lennon dialect, and the sweet sound of his laugh made John smile a bit.</p><p>Picking up the same hash brown that he plucked a piece from, feeling his appetite steadily grow the more he thought about eating, Paul cleared his throat. "I remember you told me once that your mother played banjo? Or she taught you how to play banjo." He brought up, feeling as if it was his turn to wring out a life question towards John.</p><p>John hummed, swirling his straw around in his tea to somewhat ground himself whenever he thought of his mother. "Yeah, she did both actually. Talented woman she was." He muttered, before kissing his teeth out of spite. "It's a tragedy that she wasn't around me often."</p><p>"What do you mean by that?"</p><p>"Um, she passed away."</p><p>Suddenly with a vanished appetite, the younger slowly placed the hash brown back to its spot. John casually took a sip from his tea as he drowned in the awkward silence, silence was what usually came to him whenever he would speak about his mother. It used to be insufferable when he was a teenager, and the pitiful look on others faces would make him want to drop dead. However, the look on Paul's face seemed to have been a dark one of his own - as if he could relate.</p><p>"I send my condolences to you." Paul muttered, moving his hand towards John's to caress the back of it comfortingly.</p><p>"Mhm, and what about yours?" John stammered, already feeling as if he knew the answer just from the unreadable expression on Paul's face. For comfort for the both of therm, the auburn haired man laced his fingers with Paul's and squeezed them gently.</p><p>"Call it a coincidence." Was all that Paul replied with, along with a sad smile that made John want to jump over the table and embrace him as they both sob.</p><p>"Sorry for your loss."</p><p>Paul shrugged, and brushed his thumb along John's soft skin. "That's life."</p><p>••</p><p>"Let me jump on your back."</p><p>John scrunched his nose up, and took out the blow pop he stole from the convenience store that they stopped by at. Just so John could waste more time with Paul until they meet up with Stuart. Right now they were walking along a boardwalk nearby a public park in the middle of London. Different couples tried a picnic here, watching movies, and just all out having the times of their lives. Young and old.</p><p>The scenery was a bit grey, surprisingly not wet which John was glad of since he had no time to get sick today. However, through the depressing clouds there was spots of blue skies and the beam of the glazing sun.</p><p>John smacked his lips, and only walked ahead with a smirk on his face. "I can't carry you."</p><p>Paul pouted, hands tightly grasping at both of John's shoulders as if he was about to jump up and onto his backside. "Why not?"</p><p>"I broke my back." John distractedly said, already knowing that Paul was going to argue against that. Still he placed the blow pop back into his mouth, and went on.</p><p>It was as if on cue, the youngest released the hold on John's shoulder to dig his fingers into John's backside. The older squeaked, blow pop dropping out of his mouth, and tickles running through his body as he arched his back away from the sly fingers of Paul McCartney. "Hey!" He laughed wildly gathering the attention of onlookers, and tourists from different countries.</p><p>Within seconds Paul got ahold of him again, this time grabbing John's sides and wiggling his fingers around. The older doubled over, laughter ripping through his body as Paul attacked him silently as if he was a shark. Eventually the older squirmed away from Paul, running away from the younger which made Paul chase him with newfound interest.</p><p>Paul just found out that John was ticklish, and that was about to be a huge mistake on John's part.</p><p>So like two mischievous kids that lost their parents, the two of them ran around the park screaming like idiots. John at some points stuck to hiding behind different photographers, and painters that were just trying to find their peace. Only for Paul to jump out of some local bushes, scaring both the poor citizen and John Lennon.</p><p>Eventually John was catching his breath under an isolated tree, a smile on his face as he pushed himself off of it to look around the park. Goshdamn, he hasn't ran like that since he was running from the cops after stealing apples. Yet that was a story for another time though. John was elated that he and Paul were having fun though, acting like children, most likely embarrassing themselves in the middle of a public park.</p><p>John straightened his ruffled clothes, and was about to depart from the tree to look for Paul. Until he was suddenly pinned faced down on the grass, a light weight toppled onto his back along with a familiar breathy giggle. "Gotcha Lennon." Paul mumbled into his ear, causing shivers to run through John for a couple of seconds.</p><p>"You've lost it." John huffed a laugh of disbelief into the grass, then he abruptly began moving himself upwards so that Paul fell off of his back and onto the ground with a soft gasp.</p><p>Immediately, he moved himself so that he was straddling the hysterically giggling man underneath him, pinning him down in return. "Now let's see, are you ticklish?"</p><p>Paul's eyed widened, playful panic wiping the smile from his face for a brief moment as he tried to squirm around. "No, no, stop! Don't!" He laughed manically even before John could put his hands on him. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"</p><p>"I didn't even touch you yet." John snorted, before growing suddenly silent as Paul continued to laugh at nothing. The soft glints of the sun pouring through or around the leaves of the tree left a gentle light on Paul's face, unmasking the features John found the most beautiful.</p><p>Paul's hazel colored eyes, gentle specks of light green within the glistening pools of several shades of brown. The milky, creamy skin of his face that John would just love to rub his hands along. The soft, pink lips that were spread into a cute beaming smile that made the older's heart grow nine times larger. Paul's raven hair, a bit messy from the tousling but the back of it splayed elegantly into the grass, and a bit along his forehead. Almost covering those perfectly shaped, but natural eyebrows. And oh the way those fucking lashes would flutter when Paul, who was now smiling fondly back at John, looked up at him with pure innocence.</p><p>Shit. Who could <em>ever</em> put their hands on somebody so fucking precious?</p><p>"You're so enchanting." John blurted out softly, moving his hand from Paul's wrist to brush his fingers against his cheek.</p><p>The younger's breath hitched, his cheeks flushing red, and his lashes fluttering from the gentle touch of John's fingers on his skin. "What are we? In a Shakespeare play?" He asked, laughter in his voice even though John knew just from the spark in Paul's eyes - those words had meant a lot.</p><p>"Oh Macca, so incapable of saying a simple thank you, hm?" John teased, before standing up in the grass - swinging his leg up and over Paul to get off of him. Immediately, he reached his hand out for Paul to grab as the younger sat up in the grass.</p><p>Paul took his hand, heaving himself up, hoping John wouldn't notice the shakiness of his arms when he pulled his body weight up. "I can't say thank you to something that's not true." He replied.</p><p>John released a exhale, eyes narrowing at the giggling young man who seemed to have said that on purpose.</p><p>"What am I going to do with you?"</p><p>••</p><p>"Hello little one." Stuart greeted Paul, smiling evilly at him as if he was a cartoon villain.</p><p>"Don't make it weird Stu, PLEASE, don't make it weird." John said, as he pushed past Stuart with Paul's wrist being held tightly in his hand.</p><p>Paul staggered in, his eyes widening at the sight of Stuart. Ah hell, of course, of course Stuart was John's friend. Paul had a haunch, a strong fucking haunch ever since they met up in the drug store. Maybe it was a 'small world' then, who knows? </p><p>"I'm not little." Paul spoke out anyways, watching as Stuart bluntly closed the door to his home.</p><p>"Yes you are."</p><p>Paul clicked his tongue, mumbling an annoyed 'you know what' under his breath as he cut his glare over to John. It was as if the look spoke the silent demand of 'get your friend' in which John exhaustedly obliged to. Maybe this meet up was going to backfire.</p><p>John couldn't control Stuart, he did whatever he set his mind to. Then he also wanted to make sure Paul was comfortable with his surroundings - and people. Mixing those two personality traits together is like mixing two potentially harmful chemicals together in a science lab. It may be harmful, but it might not be at the same time, it was something that needed a hypothesis.</p><p>"Stuart." John spoke with gritted teeth, eyes flaring at his older friend who only stared deadpanned back at him.</p><p>Paul crossed his arms, feeling mildly uncomfortable with the tension. "Okay, so now what?"</p><p>Stuart smirked with a mischievous glint in his eyes, walking away from the door to approach the youngest of the two. "Hold on a minute Paul, we're just not going to act like we haven't met each other the other day. Where's my hug?"</p><p>Paul backed away, face firm. "No."</p><p>"Did you do as I tell you or no?" John asked, basically whisking the older away from Paul by his arm.</p><p>"I sure did, but we have to go to him." </p><p>"Go to who?" Paul asked, suddenly confused with the turn of situations.</p><p>Stuart held a finger up at Paul which was a signal for him to shut up, moving closer to John with a frown on his face. "But first off, what's up with you? You're being so weird to me now. Especially since last night."</p><p>Paul thought it was a good idea to just walk away from the two before he heard something he didn't want to. So he found himself heading down the hall from the front door, wanting to look around Stuart's flat curiously. There was nothing else he could do at the moment, since his phone was out of work. Plus, even if it did work, he was not feeling up to phoning George after their awkward dispute that morning. John gave him enough serotonin to forget about George, and he was not about to dig himself into another hole.</p><p>Paul walked into the living room, taking it in. It was small, not really spacious but Paul didn't mind. He was not the one to judge other's houses since a lot of people don't have it as easy as Paul does.</p><p>Paul sauntered towards the couch, finding it appropriate to sit down near the corner of it. Relaxing, he let his hands brush over the small stains of dirt on his trousers from the earlier events that happened at the park.</p><p>Thinking it over again, Paul remembered the yearning feeling of wanting to - fuck he didn't know. With John up close to him like that, touching him, and staring down at him so gently, complimenting his appearance again, it made Paul want to kiss him.</p><p>It was not the same feeling he felt when he tried to kiss George, it was incredibly different. Since with George, he felt like he had to, just to see something. That kiss was figure out whether or not he had feelings for his best friend, but the outcome of that proved him wrong.</p><p>With John, it was a strong urge to do it. Paul had the need to. Even if it was just a single peck on the cheek. Fuck - John was making him feel so many things at once, and he had seen this coming since the other man proposed this.. whatever this is.</p><p>It felt more like a first date then some fucking 'meet up' with Stuart. Paul hugged himself, staring at his lap as the thought of being out on a date with John sunk in to his head. It was trippy to Paul how he went from hating John's guts and wishing that this whole ordeal was over, to imagining what his lips felt like against his.</p><p>Paul still wished that the ordeal was over though, even though Michael seemed more comfortable at Mimi's home. With Michael being comfortable, Paul felt comfortable and not as angered.</p><p>The motive behind everything is what made Paul want Michael in his custody.</p><p>It just hurt him, hurt him more than all of the beatings and words his father ever brought into him. The move behind this was .. if Jim had passed away, then Michael wouldn't be around Paul, that was the old man's wish. Mimi would raise him up instead. It was fucking idiotic, rendering some stranger a possible empty promise when you could easily give Michael to a family member.</p><p>Paul wondered if he could save John some stress by calling his own aunt for help, but it would be such an awkward situation calling his relatives. Especially since he never really talked to them, it was his father speaking over his words instead. His birthday presents were thrown away, as well as Christmas presents - any other holiday or family gift that was dedicated towards Paul.</p><p>The man sighed, looking around the empty room before letting his fall back to his lap, suddenly feeling irritated that he let his mind wonder to the bad parts again. Paul was trying so hard not to think negative - not to fall in despair and ruin his and John's day together.</p><p>But twenty-one years of pure hell on Earth would give you such a headache. A hard time to think positive when all you've been surrounded by is negativity.</p><p>Paul jumped at the sudden presence of John and Stuart, he hadn't expected them to come into the living room so quietly. Stuart laughed out loud from the frightened look on Paul's face while John rushed over to him. "You okay?" The auburn haired man asked, concerned at the sad expression on Paul's face.</p><p>The younger ridded away of the sad thoughts, forcing them down when he shown John a reassuring smile. Scoffing in relief, the older held both of his hands out for Paul to grab onto. Taking the painful hint of having to pull himself up off of the couch, Paul gulped since he was feeling weak in the muscles.</p><p>"Yes, I'm fine but um - can you lift me up?" He asked, quickly becoming embarrassed when John arched his brow questionably. Nonetheless, John leaned forward and placed both of his hands on Paul's waist to heave him upwards onto his feet. </p><p>Stuart checked the time on his phone, and then placed it back into his pockets. "Johnny, it's about time we head out right? We don't it to get too late."</p><p>"Oh, yeah okay."</p><p>••</p><p>"So, Paul, what is your daddy's name again? Jim?" Stuart had slyly asked as he abruptly kicked the back of Paul's seat with his foot, it made John grumble something not suitable for work under his breath.</p><p>Paul had startled, which made John glance over at him funnily. Looking behind his seat to face a wittily smiling Stuart, he answered uncertainly. "Uh, kind of? His name is James actually, but-"</p><p>"James?!" Both of them men asked simultaneously in pure disbelief.</p><p>"Yes, but- my name is James."</p><p>John's draw dropped.</p><p>"So you're James Jr?" Stuart asked, in a giggling tone of voice. "Aw, that's so cute. They got the same name. Isn't that adorable John?" He asked, not even knowing how much that dug under Paul's skin.</p><p>When he felt two sets of eyes on him, both from Paul and Stuart, John suddenly felt as if he was in the middle of a tug of war. Stuart was tugging the rope pretty strong, but the gaze from Paul felt as if it was a truck pulling even stronger from the other end. So instead of straightforwardly answering Stuart's question, John switched the subject but not really going off of the topic to make it seem as if he was outwardly avoiding the question. "Your real name is James?" He asked Paul.</p><p>Paul blinked, and then nodded slowly. "But I really fucking hate that name. So don't call me James," then the younger man turned around to face Stuart. "Or James Jr." He finished, narrowing his eyes at the other man.</p><p>"Paul fits you more anyway." John said, wanting to settle the tension between Stuart and Paul. 'Great impression Stuart, it's not like you're definitely making my life harder or anything.' John had thought to himself, the annoyance bubbling inside of him was unmatched.</p><p>Paul looked over at John. "You okay?"</p><p>Surprised that he asked, John glanced over at Paul and smiled reassuringly at him. Paul smiled back at him, turning his gaze back over towards the window to watch the scenery of England as it passes by.</p><p>Stuart huffed, looking back and forth between the two men in the front seats. They were cute, even though Stuart had reckoned that his joking around was not within the range of Paul's humor. John would have to explain Stuart's personality to him, it was mandatory. So just for John, he decided that he was just going to cool down around Paul and act like his regular self.</p><p>"John, go to that apple store in Birmingham." Stuart spoke out after turning his phone off. "He's there."</p><p>John nodded, subconsciously reaching over to grab at Paul's hand.</p><p>This was about to be it, the key to unlocking a lot of things hidden about Jim. A proof to show that Jim had a twisted mindset when it came to his children. Or maybe this was the first step to this being it.</p><p>John made sure that Paul still hadn't known though, but he still squeezed and caressed at John's hand.</p><p>Something about John holding his hand made Paul's heart leap, it was something that was so intimate, even though he held hands with a lot of other people. John's hand holdings onto his just made his heart beat fast. Especially when they'd link their fingers together, feeling each other's pulses.</p><p>Hell, when they got out of the car once John had parked at the apple store, John immediately grasped at Paul's hand as they approached it. Stuart smiled, approaching the doors with a hip to his step. He wrapped his fingers around the handle, and just as he was about to pull it open —</p><p>"Wait! It's closed!" Paul yelled, which caused the oldest to whirl around and face him with a finger pressed to his lips.</p><p>"Yeah, I can fucking read. We're not here to buy shit though. We're here to meet someone."</p><p>Even though that's how Stuart usually talks when he was annoyed at someone, John felt obligated to add his two cents in. "Don't get annoyed at him, he doesn't know why we're here still." He told the other man, trying to calm the situation down before Paul could say something before him.</p><p>"Well, why are we here?" Paul asked, looking over at John with somewhat scared eyes.</p><p>"You'll see baby, just trust me." John replied in a soft voice to soothe Paul down as Stuart opened the door effortlessly, despite it being closed.</p><p>Stuart smirked, holding the door opened. "Ah, he never fails us." The boy muttered under his breath as the two younger men began to creep in the dimly lit store. "Alrighty, now you two follow me, and hurry so he could turn the lights out."</p><p>••</p><p>"Welcome to Best's warehouse!" Came a voice that John knew all too fucking well for his own good. Pete Best, turning around in his chair in a small janitor room two doors down the main employee lounge of the Apple store, had greeted the three men. The lad stood up, stretching, still dressed in his uniform from the morning shift. "Well, well, well."</p><p>Stuart smiled, his arms crossed as he leant his backside against the door. "Ello Pete. I've brought your two worthy customers."</p><p>Paul, who transitioned to basically clutching into John's arm, studied Pete for a bit. He was handsome, undeniably - but his presence is so fucking random. To be honest, he had no clue what to actually feel right now. He wanted to ask John if they could leave, but he also wanted to sit and figure out what the hell was happening.</p><p>Speaking of Pete, the man had made his way over towards Paul, Stuart and John. It wasn't much of a space holding them apart anyway since they were in a ridiculously small room for four people. "Now Stu, before I introduce myself.. do you have the percocets I've asked for?" Pete asked, turning towards Stuart with his hand held out.</p><p>John cut his eyes over at Stuart, an annoyed look on his face that had said a silent 'are you serious?' for him. Paul on the other hand, only stared curiously at Stuart. His eyes widened, focused on the drugs that were removed from his pocket, now settled onto Pete's palm.</p><p>'Interesting.' Paul had thought. Very interesting.</p><p>"John." Pete greeted shoving the pills into his pocket, "Looking good these days, I see." He said, eyes lingering on John's face for a few seconds that Paul made a mental note of.</p><p>That didn't feel right.</p><p>Paul squeezed at John's arm, but it didn't affect the older as he nodded his head. "And you look, great."</p><p>Stuart seemed entertained, his eyes sparkling with mischief as the two men exchanged words. Pete and John? Do they have history? Not really, not any spectacular history that would affect future relationships. They just fucked around, experimented, and then it just got too weird for John so he just cut the other man off. He would have thought Stuart did so too, but Pete was a brilliant client.</p><p>Paul's eyes followed Pete's movements as the older turned his attention onto him. Paul could literally see the way Pete's eyes had lit up, and he already knew what was coming.</p><p>"Well my, my, my Johnathon. Who is this?" Pete asked, shifting in front of Paul who confidently straightened up to match eyes with Pete.</p><p>Before John could speak, Paul had already formulated his words. "Paul, I'm Paul."</p><p>"You're stunning."</p><p>"Right back at you." Paul replied bluntly.</p><p>Pete fluttered his lashes like a bird, making a mock cute face, pressing his finger into his cheek. "Oh stop, I'm blushing." He said in a high pitched voice.</p><p>Paul unintentionally glowered at him, some weird type of growling noise emitting from the back of his throat. That was when John stepped in. "Can you get on with it?" He spat, incredibly annoyed at Pete.</p><p>Plopping in his chair, fingers rattling words against the keyboard to log himself into his software, he slapped a Guy Fawkes mask into his face. "So basically, what I am is some type of doxxing master. Give me a name of whoever you want records of and I'll search them up in this hidden server I created myself." He explained, moving the mouse around the home screen until he clicked on some type of folder disguised app. "Getting all of the information you want will take at least two or more days."</p><p>"That's creepy." John said, causing Pete to chuckle.</p><p>"Eh, but it works. I could expose criminals, managers, rich people, celebrities.. even the prime minister."</p><p>Suddenly it all clicked for Paul, and his eyes lit up immediately once he got the idea as to why John and Stuart brought him here. "No way.. you're serious?"</p><p>John smiled dreamily at the look of pleasant shock that painted Paul's face.</p><p>Pete nodded, giving the man a thumbs up. "Yup!"</p><p>"Highly illegal, but very efficient." Stuart added on after being quiet in the corner for the last couple of minutes. "Go ahead and tell him what you want."</p><p>"I'm waiting." Pete said, ready to jot down anything John and Paul wanted him to search up.</p><p>Paul innocently looked over at John for permission, and it made the older man laugh, patting the small of his back to gently push him forward. "Go ahead baby." He murmured gently to him, tilting his head over towards Pete, silently gesturing Paul over towards the man in front of the computer.</p><p>Paul had nodded his head, and then exhaled looking over at Pete. "Could you type in Jim McCartney?"</p><p>"On it." Pete said, typing down the name into the creepy looking search bar that he self decorated. Hitting enter, there was millions of results that had names correlated to Jim McCartney. Fortunately, the wealthy man was known in some areas, and it didn't take long for Pete to click at a suggestion that had 'Liverpool' under it.</p><p>Paul watched eagerly, his eyes widening at the records and history of his father's name once Pete had clicked. "Bloody hell," He muttered under his breath as Pete scrolled throughout the records.</p><p>"This'll take awhile to sort through. So just tell me the main entrée and I'll try my best."</p><p>"Well um, how about police reports? Or - family history or something?" Paul asked, not feeling comfortable enough to be too specific. "Does it have me and Michael included there?"</p><p>"Paul, this baby right here includes EVERYTHING documented down. Even some things that aren't documented but are caught on by subtle spies." Pete said, being animated with his words before pulling the mask down to look into Paul's sparkling eyes. "Police reports, especially." He added on, a smirk on his face when he saw something dark flash in Paul's eyes.</p><p>John smirked, arms crossed and body slumped against the wall next to Stuart.</p><p>"Can you search his hospital records up? Anything pertaining to him, me and my brother Michael involving the hospital."</p><p>"Will do my good man, will do."</p><p>Paul knew that was about to be a weak spot there, especially from the amount of times when he had to visit the hospital because of how bad Jim would beat him. Yeah, he definitely caught his fucking ass there. Paul couldn't help himself when he threw his arms around Pete's neck, giving him a quick hug despite his feelings towards him and John's exchange. "Thank you so much!" He exclaimed, while Pete was too busy searching through Jim's forum to hug back.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, go on and get out of here. Don't come out though, you have to go through that door." Pete said, pointing over at the door next to Stuart in the corner.</p><p>John pushed himself off of the wall as Paul happily trotted towards both him and Stuart. "Let's drop Stu off back at his home." John said, earning a nod from both of the men.</p><p>•••</p><p>— Late noon</p><p>"Fuck." John muttered under his breath, cutting the engine off once they made it up onto the hill underneath a tree. Rain was beginning to pour down, and he already knew what the fuck was about to happen when he felt unusually cold. It wasn't surprising though, the clouds were making an entrance nonetheless of the blue skies above.</p><p>The stars being presented nearby the sunset was worth it though.</p><p>Paul looked over at him, a soft smile forming onto his face. "Getting ill again?"</p><p>"Not really sure, I'm not standing in the rain this time so maybe it'll just be a headache."</p><p>Paul had giggled at John's backwards T-cells whenever it would start raining, and then he traced his eyes back ahead at the view. "Hey.. where are we? It's beautiful here." He said, eyes looking around widened at the scenery of just trees and long grass.</p><p>"Strawberry fields." John replied, resting the back of his head against the headrest and then tilting his head so that he was looking at the younger. "This is my happy place that I go to when things get weird with Mimi back at home." He added on softly, studying Paul's features.</p><p>Paul pressed his palm against the cold window, shivering a bit as goosebumps ran up his skin. "Is it really called Strawberry fields? Or did you make that up?" He asked, before removing his hand away from the window to draw his and John's initials on it.</p><p>John watched him, in love, at peace. "Made it up."</p><p>Paul looked over at him, and then turned his body around in the seat so that he could stare back at John with a gentle smile on his face. "What's up with you? Why're you so quiet now?" He giggled, reaching out to press his cold hand against John's forehead to feel if he was getting hot. "You feel fin—"</p><p>John sat up and suddenly snatched his hand, gripping it which made Paul gasp. He pulled the younger male forward, a plead in his voice as he said. "You're so fucking precious Paul."</p><p>"John?"</p><p>"I can't believe that I'm even here with you, that's how valuable you are."</p><p>Paul blushed, bringing his other hand forward to grab at John's. "Well you are. I trusted you, and you're acting on it just like how I trusted that you would." He said gently as he opened up John's hand to trace his fingers along the lines, distracting himself so that he would fuck up and stutter. "Thank you, for taking me to Pete. Fucking hell - I feel like thank you isn't enough though."</p><p>John swallowed, speaking before he could fucking think. "Then kiss me."</p><p>Paul's eyes widened cartoonishly, looking up at John with a shocked expression. His lips were quivering as he stuttered out a flabbergasted,"W-What?"</p><p>Feeling panic shoot through his body, but adrenaline as well, John scooted closer towards Paul and pulled him in even closer. "Kiss me, as a thank you. That's all I want- I- please. Don't get the wrong idea."</p><p>Paul hesitated, and maybe John was seeing things but it seemed as if the younger was trying to move away. Move away, reach for the door handle and run then boom they're back at ground fucking zero.</p><p>Yet he was wrong.</p><p>Paul sighed shakily, squeezing John's hand. "John- I don't know.." He muttered, looking away uneasily as his stomach started to do flips - cheeks burning a darkened red.</p><p>"I won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with. I just- would rather have a kiss as a thank you."</p><p>Paul stared at him for a bit, and then he released his hold of John's hands to hug himself. The younger looked out the window thoughtfully, leaving John in a mess of fucking sheer embarrassment that penetrated his brain to no end. John clenched his jaw, tempted to punching his fist through the car window as self anger propelled throughout his body.</p><p>'Well that's one fucking way to ruin a building friendship. Gosh, what the fuck is wrong with me?' John angrily cursed, raising a shaking hand to massage at his aching head on cue with the rain pouring down harder.</p><p>Paul side eyed him, somehow concluding that John was having a mental breakdown beside him. All Paul needed was some type to meddle within his thoughts, and connect whatever conflicts he was having as if they were puzzle pieces.</p><p>It's not like he didn't want to kiss John, he really did. The feeling of overthinking had took control of him in the heat of the moment though. So if he kissed John, then what next? You've already opened up to him, so would he be expecting more? Or would it be the other way around and would it just be a whole fucking train wreck? Gosh he felt so fucking stuck in these 'do or don't' type of situations.</p><p>'Make a move Paul, just fucking do it.' He thought to himself before looking back out of the window.</p><p>••</p><p>The last stop that John managed was at an ASDA, near ten o'clock and not too far from Paul's home. Even though the store was definitely almost empty, and closing time was nonexistent since it was a twenty-four hour ran store - the two men were acting like full blown kids again.</p><p>Paul was small enough to fit in the carriage, and John was agile enough to push them full speed down the aisles. His and Paul's little shrieks were nostalgically amusing to the middle aged manager, along with the young workers that still resided there.They wished that they got to run around with shopping carts, but the money was very well needed.</p><p>"Do you think if I threw this in the air, all the way up to the ceiling, I could catch it?" John asked Paul who still sat languidly in the cart, the older man smirkedholding a ridiculously huge bouncy beach ball in his hands.</p><p>"Yeah, I believe in you." Paul said, but then he shook his head afterwards. "Don't do it though, you might get us in trouble."</p><p>John bounced the ball on the floor, watching it fly off elsewhere until he looked back over at Paul with a pout on his face. "They let us run around and shit, why can't we chuck the ball in the air?"</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes playfully, and scoffed at the dumb question. "Fuck should I know?"</p><p>John snorted and walked over to the cart, grappled at it, then began to continue his way down the toy aisle pulling it along with him. "Want to buy you something, but I can't really get anything since I don't have much money left."</p><p>"John, I'll—"</p><p>"Shut it up. It's not going to happen." John said, shutting down the idea of Paul buying anything while he was around. "You know better than to try and buy something."</p><p>"Fine, fine." Paul exhaled, plucking cutely at John's hand that was wrapped around the cart.</p><p>The two men were calmly strolling through the store now, the gentle music filling the comfortable silence that belonged to both Lennon and McCartney. John knew what song this was, it was an old tune that he loved as a child whenever Mimi would play it.</p><p>'The beat goes on' By Sonny and Cher.</p><p>Humming along to it, and sometimes singing a couple of the lyrics, John turned the cart towards the snack aisle. Paul stared at him, his piercing gaze burning holes into the back of John's head. Subtly, he began to sing along with the older, letting his voice hitch higher than John's as they sung together in harmony.</p><p>Soon enough John noticed, and stopped the cart to sing a part of Cher's verse. "Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain.." He sung slowly, a smile forming onto his face.</p><p>Paul decided to be comedic with it, and in response he sung in a droopy voice. "The GROCERY stores, the super mart, uhHUH!" He yelped out the last part in unison with Sonny's original voice.</p><p>John broke out into a heap laughter, as well as Paul. It was something so simple, yet it turnt out to be the second hardest time Paul and John had laughed in one day.</p><p>Almost near tears, John had gathered himself while Paul was still giggling. "You know, you have a very nice voice Paul. Very rich and beautiful."</p><p>"You're taking the piss now Johnny."</p><p>"No baby, you sounded nice. I'm being genuine."</p><p>Paul blushed, suddenly wanting to hide under the bags of chips that were right next to him. "Well, I can say the same for you. We harmonize well you know."</p><p>John kissed his teeth, jerking the cart which made Paul squeak out from the jerky movements. "Now you're the one that's taking the piss, son."</p><p>••</p><p>John groaned, already feeling empty when he parked in front of Paul's home. "Well, there goes our day."</p><p>Paul looked out of the window, seeing that a couple of lights were still on inside. George and Ringo still might have been awakened, well that was a load of a bunch of questions ready to come at him. "They're still up? What the hell are they doing in there?"</p><p>John chuckled, "Who knows with them."</p><p>Paul looked over at John, and smiled at him as he turned around in his seat to directly face him. "John, I had so much fun today. Like a lot of fun."</p><p>John blushed, and Paul's smile had only grew when he noticed the pink tint to the older's cheeks. Clearing his throat, John just shrugged and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. "Glad that I could make you feel happy Paul, I had fun too."</p><p>Paul reached and gently grabbed John's hand, stroking the smooth skin with his fingers. It basically forced John to keep himself from shuddering at the ridiculously suggestive touch. "Maybe we should do this again, soon or whenever you want." Paul softly spoke, eyes glued to his and John's hands.</p><p>John perked up, a smile eliciting across his face as he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, most definitely. I'd love to see you again baby, you have no idea."</p><p>Paul looked up at John through his eyelashes, a soft look in his eyes as he nodded. "Right, well, I'm going to go now. But um - one more thing."</p><p>John frowned, "What?"</p><p>Suddenly, the front of the man's shirt was being yanked forward which sent his body spiraling towards Paul's. John had almost jumped when Paul brung both of their lips together within a couple of seconds. The softness of his lips moving against John's made the older's brain turn into putty almost automatically.</p><p>Eyes widening, and cheeks turning full on red, John had to ground himself by grasping gently at Paul's forearm. Immediately, he closed his own eyes and returned the kiss before it could become obvious that he was not kissing Paul back.</p><p>Their lips moved beautifully, syncing passionately together, they swallowed each other's hitches of breaths when the feeling of tongue transpired. Paul's hand relaxed upon John's shirt, his fingers loosening from its former fist to an opened hand, moving up to the nape of John's neck. Bravely, the younger man brushed his tongue against the underside of John's tongue, pulling the older male closer to him. John's breath hitched in return, particularly since Paul had such stable control of the kiss. Slowly, he let his hand move from Paul's arm to his waist, almost simultaneously with the movement of Paul's hand.</p><p>Swiping his tongue against Paul's, earning a soft moan from the younger in which he quieted quickly, John felt as if he was fucking floating. Each breathy sigh and every small sound Paul made going straight to his crotch. Arousal was pooling around quickly, especially when he felt Paul's fingers threading and tugging cutely along the baby hairs in the back of John's neck.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> John’s thoughts were flying out everywhere at the moment when he felt the soft nibble of his bottom lip concur from the younger. </span></p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Paul had suddenly pulled away, eyes blinking droopily as if he was fucking drunk. Slowly he settled back into his seat, gasping for his breath as his lips tingled, a bit swollen and pink. John settled back too, just as drunk from the kiss, his body burning with a stimulation equivalent to snorting up some cocaine.Catching his breath, and turning his head to look at Paul who was openly staring at him, John smiled. "You're welcome by the way." He said, voice low.</p><p>The two of them had then delved into their third rampage of laughter that night.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. pale faces & red lips.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaa writers block kind of bit me a bit but i got it out before the deadline<br/>excuse the errors! </p><p>enjoy &amp; leave feedback! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul sleeping throughout the next morning wasn't exactly too shocking. To George, whatever he and John did all day yesterday seemed to have knocked the man out into a deep sleep. Honestly, he did kind of feel a bit left out, but maybe Paul would have tagged him along if he didn't say what he had said. It was such a dumb thing blurted out in the heat of the moment.</p><p>When Paul walked in the house, even though he looked rather flustered and smiley, he didn't say a word to George. Just quietly greeting Ringo and heading upstairs without another word. George and the blue eyed man exchanged unreadable looks at each other before going back to doing their craftwork. George had made a birdhouse out of boredom, and Ringo was painting the side of it.</p><p>"He's so mad at me Rings." George softly muttered once Paul was out of sight, angst in his voice as he glued another stick popsicle on top of the other.</p><p>"Everything will be alright. You two seem close enough to work out your problems."</p><p>"Ever the optimist you are Richie." George chuckled nervously, making Ringo blush from the statement.</p><p>In the morning, George had made sure he awoken first to talk to Paul but it backfired when the older man began to sleep in longer than expected. So making his way to Paul's room, fingers running along the wall as he walked, he swallowed down the anxiousness ready to bolt through him.</p><p>Opening Paul's door, he kicked it closed with his foot walking into the bedroom boldly. Paul, as expected, was asleep laying on his stomach - clutching onto a ridiculously large pillow with his face buried in it. George made his way over towards the bed, crawled onto it and on top of Paul, flopping on top of his backside. "Paul, Paulie, Paul, Paul, wake up."</p><p>George scooted up tucking his legs under Paul's so that he was basically glued onto his back, he blew onto the full crown of Paul's raven hair hair before ruffling it around. "You need a haircut." He muttered, before grasping at two ends of his hair to make it seem like Paul had pigtails.</p><p>Paul shifted underneath him, too far gone to give a fuck about whoever was touching his hair, instead he just wanted the warmth of a body away. "Get off." He grumbled into the pillow, before moving his head so that the side of his face was only pressed against the soft plush texture.</p><p>"Paul, c'mon, you've spent all day with John. It's my turn now." George whined, he was hoping to gravitate the awkwardness between the two of them into a grey area. Cuddle it off like they always do.</p><p>Paul, now half awake, exhaled through his nose as he fluttered his eyes open to look around a bit. Soon enough, he recognized the voice that interrupted his slumber and rolled his eyes tiredly. "What do you want George?" He asked, voice ragged with a soft and deep tone from sleep.</p><p>"It's the afternoon. You are not sleeping all day, and I want to spend time with you." George said, moving a hand up to poke at Paul's cheek, then gripping it in such a soft squeeze.</p><p>Paul shifted again, now heaved up on his elbows blinking slowly as he tried to gather himself. "I could have woken myself up. I didn't need you to do it." He muttered, remembrance of George's comment about his features settling in quickly the more he was awake.</p><p>"Stop that." George said as he sat up, steadily withdrawing himself from his position on top of the older. "I always wake you up when you sleep late, you're just mad at me still."  He said, convincing himself more than he tried convincing Paul.</p><p>Speaking of Paul, the man rubbed at his eyes, feeling extremely out of it. At the second, he assumed that he was sick, or at least falling sick.</p><p>That wasn't good.</p><p>Deliriously, he looked over at George. "You called me a girl." He said, knitting his eyebrows together to form a frown.</p><p>"I know, I- I'm really sorry about that Paul. I didn't know what the fuck I was trying to say, so that just came out." George replied, feeling more and more ashamed of himself as he explained. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.''</p><p>Paul hummed at that, narrowing his eyes at George which made the younger cower under the gaze. Fuck. Paul was so intimidating to him at times. It made no sense how piercing his gaze could be, whether it be one full of joy, sadness or silent fury. His eyes could tell you everything that his words can not.</p><p>Feeling as if there was no use to continue to be upset, especially when George seemed genuine with his apology, Paul just threw his arms around his best friend and let his body dramatically fall onto George. The younger squeaked, and then laughed wildly as he fell back onto the bed with Paul fake snoring on top of him.</p><p>"You're so fucking scary." George said, winging an arm around Paul's back as the older snuggled against him, seemingly willing to fall back asleep in George's arms. Paul only sighed unusually in response, blinking slowly while sniffling a bit. George looked at him, seeing the man's eyelashes fan against his cheeks - so he was still awake. "Hey, are you alright?"</p><p>"Don't feel good." Paul breathed out, clutching onto George. "I'll be fine, I'm just tired.''</p><p>George squeezed him, running his hands over Paul's back and side to feel if it was warmer than usual. It was at its normal temperature though, so there was nothing viral about the older's formulating illness. So worriedly, he asked. "Do you feel like you're about to slip?''</p><p>"No, no, the medicine took care of that. I think its just a cold or something.'' Paul replied, before breaking out into a smile. "It's probably because of yesterday."</p><p>"Yesterday.. tell me about it. What did you and John do?''</p><p>Paul held up a weak hand, making a movement with it that resembled 'waving off' something. Feeling his body ache, and chest hurt, he postponed the idea of telling George what he and John had did yesterday. "I'll tell you later. I just need some more sleep, I feel like actual shit." The older mumbled, squeezing George close to him as if he was the pillow he was cuddling before.</p><p>George left it at that, although fucking curiosity was driving him mad at the moment. Sighing, he ran his hand up and down Paul's back in a tranquil motion. To be frank, he was thinking briefly on calling John to get a word out of him. Though that would just dumbly upset Paul, and they would be on bad terms again.</p><p>— Meanwhile, at the Smith-Lennon-McCartney house at Mendips, there was a more disappointing scenario.</p><p>"Fuck." John cursed under his breath, finally closing the refrigerator door after looking through it thoroughly. There was little food left for the rest of the week, and it was beginning to take a toll on the household. Especially Mimi.</p><p>"Oh, you're a dirty man. You said a bad woooooord."</p><p>Slowly turning around with a raised eyebrow, he stared at the six year old girl that John let Michael bring over. "Pardon me miss?" John questioned, trotting over towards the little brat.</p><p>"I said you're DIRTY." She reiterated, putting emphasis on the word 'dirty' as if it was the best insult she ever came up with. John had only silently stared at her, a mixture of annoyance and amusement guising his glare. "What are you? Bloody stupid? Do you not know what dirty is?" She spat, high pitched voice pinching precisely at John's annoyance.</p><p>"What's your name?" John had then asked, squinting at her to read her face. Seems as if she was still losing her unhealthily yellow baby teeth, she was blonde haired and brown eyed, pink cheeks. There was a possibly fake tiara on top of her head, and here she was, wearing a light pink tutu. Oh fuck, she was one of those kids. Hopefully she didn't have a pair of light up sketchers.</p><p>"Lisa." The little girl answered boldly, hoisting her chin up as if she was on a pedestal, looking down condescendingly at John.</p><p>John nodded, then bent down so that he was around her level. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners Lisa?"</p><p>"Dirty mouthed boys don't deserve manners." Lisa hissed, crossing her arms stubbornly. John made a snickering noise and then busted out laughing within seconds, it was something that pissed little Lisa off expeditiously.</p><p>"You're saying I'm dirty mouthed when you're the one with butter teeth." John said, giving the little kid no mercy when he opened up the camera app on his phone to prove his point. "Here, take a look Louisa."</p><p>"It's Lisa!" She screamed, snatching the phone from him with angrily shaking hands from the insult. John watched with a smile as she cheesed into the camera to observe the color of her teeth. It was quiet for a couple of seconds, her experimental smiling fading into a look of sadness. John seemed incredibly entertained watching the way Lisa had died inside after seeing the school bus colored yellow on her teeth.</p><p>MIchael had departed from the bathroom, right on time as Lisa slapped John's phone against the older's stomach and ran off crying dramatically. The boy watched as she bumped past him, making out an excruciatingly loud 'ow!' just to guilt trip Michael into murmuring a sorry from the small collision, soon enough she raced her way up the stairs to what ever fucking room. John slid his phone back into his pocket, meeting Michael's eye when the boy turned back to him with a questioning expression on his face. </p><p>"What the heck was that about?" Michael asked with a lowered voice and two raised eyebrows, motioning his thumb at the exact direction Lisa ran off to.</p><p>John tried not to giggle and just ended up shrugging innocently, leaning his backside against the refrigerator. "Girls, you know?"</p><p>Michael stared at him cluelessly, which only increased John's urge to laugh, and then he moved forward towards the countertop. "I invited her over for a project about the solar system, we are supposed to make all eight of the planets, but she says I can do it myself." He muttered, visibly annoyed by that since his little face was scrunched into the most intimidating scowl, even for a kid his age.</p><p>"I'll be your partner Mike. We can send Lisa's ass right back home, and then we'll work together." John said, looking down at Michael with a fond smile on his face. It only grew when the boy's face had literally seemed to light up at the suggestion.</p><p>"Really? You don't have to!" Michael exclaimed, even though he seemed excited to do it.</p><p>"Yes really, and I want to. I've missed you all day yesterday when I was gone. It'd be nice to spend some time with you chump." John said, and he actually meant it. To be honest, John loves spending time with both Paul and Michael.</p><p>Right now even, he missed Paul. Holy fucking shit did he miss that man.</p><p>•••</p><p>Paul, capturing his breath after coughing until his chest ached in pain, shivers running through his body. The man was coddled up in George's hoodie, sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen to watch George prepare lunch. Paul's eyes were lingering tiredly on the bowl of the soup that the younger gave to him. "Ah shit." He muttered, lifting the spoon up to his mouth with a trembling hand, suckling the warm juices.</p><p>George was humming a song from some type of musical, taking some chicken out of the freezer, and setting it aside so it could defrost. "You sound terrible Paul." He said, turning towards the older man who gave him a stare in return.</p><p>"I know." Paul slowly replied, to George he sounded as if he just got done screaming. </p><p>"Ringo should be back soon with the cough syrup, hang in there for me." George said, pouting at Paul when the other succumbed into a coughing fit again.</p><p>Paul dropped his spoon, covering his mouth with his arm as he coughed erratically to a point where he couldn't catch his breath. George stared, observing him with a concerned look on his face. When Paul finished, he smacked his lips and casually scraped some more soup juices up into his spoon as if he didn't suffer a cough attack.</p><p>George let his eyes linger on Paul worriedly. "Do you want to lay down?" He asked, but to his surprise Paul shook his head immediately.</p><p>"No, no. I'm fine. It's mostly a really bad cough and a fucked up throat."</p><p>"Oh, poor baby." George cooed in a distracted reply, moving himself back towards the refrigerator to open it up and grab an apple for himself.</p><p>Paul blushed, and rolled his eyes. "Not you too."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That 'baby' nonsense." Paul said, scrunching his nose up when he witnessed a mischievous smile spread across George's face. "John always calls me baby, I don't need you starting it."</p><p>"You are a baby." George said with some type of stern voice as if it was illegal to refuse that. Then before Paul could argue against that, the younger immediately changed the subject. "Also speaking of John, you've never told me about your date."</p><p>Paul covered his mouth and coughed, slapping his hand onto his cheek. "Oh yeah. I forgot. It was nice, I had a lot of fun." He said softly, breaking out into a soft smile as he thought back to yesterday. Pushing his soup bowl away and lifting himself off of his seat, Paul began to sway-walk his way over towards George. "And guess what he did? He helped me get information on my dad so we could use it against him."</p><p>"Holy shit, that's amazing!" George exclaimed, eyes brightening as he looked over at Paul. "How?"</p><p>Paul thought back to it, his lazy smile only growing a bit more. "John introduced me to a friend of Stuart's, he um- specializes in knowing a lot of things."</p><p>"Wait, who's Stuart?" George asked, growing confused at the random name.</p><p>"Some guy that's close with John. I think he's a drug dealer though."</p><p>George blinked, questioning whatever Paul just said just from the look of perplex in his eyes. "Drug dealer?</p><p>"Don't think about it too much." Paul said, lifting up a hand, brushing a strand of hair away from George's eyes so that he could smile softly at him, he wanted to make sure the younger would see it.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">George noticed that the older was <em>glowing</em>. Glowing as if he just - found some treasure.</span>
</p><p>George cheeks transitioned to a rosy red at the action. "I'm not John by the way, in case you forgot."</p><p>Paul giggled at that, but the sound came out much more as a strained cackle that rumbled through the sore walls of his throat. "You're so cute." He mockingly cooed, grasping at George's cheek to pinch it. "Cutie, cutie."</p><p>"Fuck off." George spat, swatting Paul's hand away from him before turning to push the sick man away from him. "You're becoming delirious."</p><p>Paul pouted, stubbornly moving close again to throw his arms around George's torso until he was shoved back again.</p><p>"Stop it! Now, back to the date. What else happened?" George asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Paul sway back over towards his chairwith a small feeling of amusement.</p><p>Paul seated himself again with a mischievous smile, stared at the bowl and then looked back up at George. "We kissed."</p><p>••</p><p>“John what did you and my brother do yesterday?” Michael curiously asked John, sticking a styrofoam sphere onto a stick that was glued to several other sticks, ultimately making the solar system.</p><p>John, using a sharpie to copy down the description of all eight planets on a poster-like construction paper, seemingly smiled at that question. “Business.”</p><p>“What business?”</p><p>John laughed, and looked back up at his phone screen to take a mental picture of some more words to describe Venus. “Don’t worry about it right now, you’ll know soon enough.” He said, looking at a expecting Michael.</p><p>The boy hummed impatiently, frowning a bit at that answer. Placing the stick and mini planet down, he pointed his little finger at John. “I just want to know where you two went. He’s my brother after all, I deserve to know.” Michael said to him, something pleading in his voice to know.</p><p>“Alright, alright.” John exhaled, but there was still a smile on his face that made Michael more irritated. “I took good care of him yesterday, he had a lot of fun, I had a lot of fun blasé blasé. I just wanted to make him feel relaxed, we both know how stressed Paul is lately.”</p><p>Michael had visibly relaxed, his facial expression softening. “Oh that’s good. I’m glad you did that.”</p><p>John nodded his head at Michael, going back to marking down Venus’ description. The boy wasn’t done with the conversation though, there was something honest lingering in his voice when he spoke again. “I get worried about him sometimes.”</p><p>“Oh?” John looked up at this, new interest in his eyes as he capped the marker and moved the poster to the side.</p><p>Michael looked nervous, his hands mushing together to twiddle his fingers as he abbreviated. “I think daddy did a lot of bad things to Paul.” He admitted, his small voice shaking with some type of anxiety that was running rapid through him.</p><p>Oh, man. John moved everything to the side once he seen the trembles coursing like a circuit in Michael’s body, and he whisked the boy up into his arms so that he could hug the lad. “Hey, hey, calm down.”</p><p>“He really hurt Paulie.” Michael breathed airily, sounding as if he was going to cry. “I just want to make sure he’s happy John, all of the time. If- if anything happens to Paul, I wouldn’t-” And that’s when Michael began to break down, crying into John’s shoulder, clutching onto the man tightly as he sobbed.</p><p>John, taken back by the belligerent and sudden mood shift. To be honest, Michael was a bit quiet all day other than his usual self. Nevertheless, he rubbed on Michael’s back soothingly to try and calm down the little one. “Nothing is going to happen to Paul, he’s alright. I’ll make sure he’s alright, okay?”</p><p>Michael sniffed, pulling away with a red and teary face as he nodded his head. “Okay.”</p><p>John gently wiped Michael’s tears away, and patted at his cheeks which made the younger tearfully giggle. “Look, how about this? You go and play around, I’ll finish the whole project for you.”</p><p>Michael raised his eyebrows, those teary eyes widening. John noticed that Michael had the same colors of hazel that Paul has, and if that didn’t make his heart soft, then he would just be a cold person. The boy tilted his head, feeling a bit confused from the suggestion. “What? You don’t have to.”</p><p>“No, no, I’m serious. Go ahead and play, I got this.”</p><p>Michael hesitated, but eventually he gave in and slowly made his way out of the room, still sniffling. When John made sure that the boy was out of sight, he had then collapsed onto the bed and covered his face with both of his hands. Holy, fucking, shit. John hadn’t done this much comforting to other peoplesince his uncle George had passed away.</p><p>John hadn’t even comforted himself yet.</p><p>So with that, he pulled his phone out and rung George’s phone. John himself needed to know if Paul was fine, he had been longing to see him all day, but the chances of that were low since Mimi wanted both of them to stay home.</p><p>After three rings that made John bite the inside of his cheek aggressively, George finally picked up. Instead of a ‘hello’ that John was usually greeted with, he was welcomed with a sudden interrogation. “LENNON! I was just about to call you! Did you get Paul sick with your dirty germs when you kissed his lips?” Was all John heard, and it made his jaw drop.</p><p>Stammering, John desperately tried to scramble his words together as if he was playing the game scramble. “I- what? He’s sick? I didn’t-”</p><p>“Yeah, he’s been coughing his bloody arse off all day. All do to YOU.”</p><p>“Why are you blaming me?” John asked, a ghost of a smile on his face as he heard some background noises that resembled somebody struggling to grab the phone. It only grew more frequent when George was grunting as if he was fighting off the confiscation of his phone.</p><p>“Hey! Stop! Before you break my phone too!”</p><p>John sat quietly when he heard the sound of the phone being ripped away from someone. Twiddling the sharpie with his fingers, he smirked at the sound of a door closing and the persistent knocking that came from George afterwards. “Paul?” He asked, easing a brow upwards as if the younger could see him.</p><p>“Sorry about that.” Paul muttered, before coughing softly as he trekked over towards his bed.</p><p>John frowned, and sat up on the bed. “Ah, you’re really ill then aren’t you?</p><p>“I’m fine John.”</p><p>“You don’t sound fine. If I have to come over there then I will.” John said, looking around for his shoes just as he finished his sentence. Maybe he could call a babysitter in for Michael, or he could bring Michael, but he couldn’t take the chances of getting Michael sick again. Fuck.</p><p>Paul seemed to panic, his hand gripping the phone as his eyes widened. He ran his hand through his hair as his forcefully softened voice raised a bit, despite the condition of his throat. “No, no, please stay. I- I don’t look my best right now and you-”</p><p>“Could you fucking stop that? Will you?” John rolled his eyes, using a harsh tone to make sure that Paul would shut up.</p><p>“Mean.” Paul mumbled, and he meant it despite his childish he sounded. “Don’t talk to me like that.”</p><p>“If you don’t want me talking to you like that, then stop degrading your looks.”</p><p>Paul emitted a stubborn‘hmph’ sound before changing the subject. “What did you call for?”</p><p>John was quick with it. “I missed you.”</p><p>Paul blushed, a fluttering feeling in his stomach as he made his way over towards his bed to climb onto it. “I missed you too.” He said softly, affection dripping off each word when he uttered it.</p><p>John felt his heartbeat skip for a second, and a warm feeling sprouted through his body. “Aw, you sound so cute, with your raspy little voice and-"</p><p>“Fuck off.” Paul coughed, which made John laugh out loud. “It’s not funny, and it’s not cute you dummy. My throat hurts so bad, I feel like I got strep throat.”</p><p>“Did you go to the hospital?”</p><p>“You mean hossy?” Paul asked, it would have sounded funnier if he wasn’t coughing between the words as if he was dying.</p><p>Still, John broke out into a flustered smile, not having anything to say back to that. “Hmm.”</p><p>“Hahahaha, now- you’re blushing. I know you are. I can make you all shy too Lennon.” Paul coughed some more until his chest was lurching. “No.” He eventually sputtered out, answering the question painfully.</p><p>Goddamn.</p><p>John had a serious expression on his face. “Go to the hospital, now. What if it’s serious?”</p><p>Paul groaned, “It’s literally just a cough.”</p><p>“Michael wants you to go to the hospital.” John exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing. “You know, he’s been worried sick about you lately as he wants to make sure you’ve been fine. I want to make sure you’re okay too, we both care about you.”</p><p>Paul was quiet for a bit, and then soon enough he gave in since there wasn’t enough energy in him to argue back. “Okay, I’ll go.”</p><p>John sighed in relief. “Good, good.”</p><p>Paul snickered, and mocked him with a deep voice that he managed to make. “Good, good.” He cackled, transitioning into an over exaggerated Liverpool accent. </p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. pancakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i find it hilarious that ppl thought paul had co-vid in the fic LMAOO maybe i’ll expand on that for another mclennon story, but not this one. :)) thx for the idea tho!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cotton swabs all the way up to the fucking brain should be eradicated.</p><p>Apparently, that's the only new way to test subjects on whether they got an illness or not. To Paul, it was an extraordinarily painful experience - but when George got a cotton swab from the doctor he laughed hysterically while clutching onto his burning nose.</p><p>"That was so weird, I blinked, can we do it again?"</p><p>The doc gave him a strange look, and ended up chuckling at the end when George beamed at him innocently. "Alright, tilt your head back and flare your nose son." He ordered, holding up a brand new large Q-tip to shove up George's nose.</p><p>Paul was accompanied by a female Doc that eyed him fondly. Paul was looking pretty. Even when he was ill, he had that glow on people. "Ah, looks like that really hurts. Are you okay?" She giggled, placing the used Q-tip in a hazard container for testing.</p><p>Paul was shivering with pain, clenching a napkin to his nose since it started running right when she pulled the Q-tip out of his nose. "I'll be fine." He replied with gritted teeth, and teary eyes as his nose continued to burn. In his head, there was a small 'I've been through worse' that had been threatening to come out, but he decided to keep it to himself.</p><p>"I'm going to take this to the lab, okay sweetie? I'll be right back." She said, smiling while twirling around to trot out of the room happily.</p><p>Paul sighed, and laid back against the wall that the bed had been pressed against. To his side, George was continuing to be chaotic with that bloody Doc, and the Doc seemed to be pleasantly enjoying it. The raven haired man side eyed the two, giggling in unison from George's hilarious reactions to the cotton swab. Paul wanted to laugh too, but he was too enraptured by the way the Doc was staring at his best friend.</p><p>No, that didn't look right. Ringo staring at George like that was more fitting to Paul.</p><p>"Hey, Doc, don't you have another patient to tend to?" Paul asked, causing George to give him a look which the older returned with a shrug.</p><p>"Oh, yes! Of course. I just got a bit distracted."</p><p>Paul shook his head in disbelief and stared intently at the Doc. When the 'professional' Doc had scurried out to escape the heaviness of the stare, George walked over and plucked Paul's hand. "What the hell was that for?" He asked, while scrunching his sore nose up.</p><p>"Ringo wouldn't like that." Paul quietly said, a smirk forming on his face as George flustered.</p><p>"John wouldn't like you talking up that bird that just left." George retorted back, making Paul frown at him in confusion.</p><p>"Now you're pulling shit out your ass you know."</p><p>George laughed, reaching over to ruffle at Paul's thick hair which made the older swat at his hand lazily. "You're whipped for John, are you Paulie, are you?" The youngest teased, moving his hand to Paul's cheeks to attempt a squeeze at them.</p><p>"Mhm," Paul managed to croak out unashamedly, eyebrows raising and falling. "And what about it?"</p><p>"You two are so cute."</p><p>Paul tried to smile at that, even though George's hand was gripping his face which made smiling a bit difficult. George continued his demonstrations, praising the idea of John and Paul. "Every time he's around or he's mentioned, you start glowing. You really like him do you, hm? What do you call this duo? Lennon-McCartney?"</p><p>"Idontknow." Paul said, but words were slushed since George was still mushing his mouth and cheeks.</p><p>"How about.. mclennon?"</p><p>"Thatscringe."</p><p>George had smiled, "You love it."</p><p>Paul removed George's hand off of his face, and held it in both of his hands instead. "I hope he's coming over today. I'd go over there but I don't feel so well."</p><p>"John comes over almost everyday to see you, he's definitely coming over today somehow. Don't worry." George reassured, treasuring the beautiful glint of excitement in Paul's eyes when he finished.</p><p>"My hopes are up." Paul said softly, clutching onto George's hand as he thought more and more about John coming over to his house. The mere thought of it made his heartbeat incredibly fast.</p><p>During the hospital visit, they did some extra studies on Paul once they caught a glimpse of his medical history. It had turned into some type of neurological checkup that altered the hours of this visit. Paul was truly tired, all he wanted to do was go back to sleep for the rest of the day when they were finally done. George held his hand as they bounded throughout the hospital, already knowing how triggering head checks could be for Paul.</p><p>Sitting in the waiting room, Paul had his head planted on George's shoulder and his eyes were closed, eyelashes fanning his cheeks gorgeously. George on the other hand, was on his phone, studying the different events breaking out in other countries with a quiet facade.</p><p>They gave Paul some medication that seemed to have knocked him out cold. It was volunteered from the different doctors though, fortunately. Everyone seemed to love Paul, it was as if they knew him as a family member or something. Hell, maybe they did. Mary got around to a lot of different hospitals because of her stupendously excellent work as a nurse.</p><p>When the two got home, Paul seemed to be looking less pale, but he was still asleep. George settled him onto his bed, kicking the older's shoes off and basically throwing a blanket over him. With Paul asleep, George had no other choice but to spend the day with Ringo, but he didn't mind that. He liked spending time with Ringo.</p><p>••</p><p>John had swiped the key from under the carpet of the front door, it was around fucking two in the morning, but he ultimately found some time to drive over at Paul's home. As crazy as it had seemed, John was willing to make his way into the younger's home unannounced. It was assumed to him that everyone was asleep. Sticking the key inside the lock and twisting it, John opened the door to the large home, walking inside and closing it noisily.</p><p>Placing the key in his pocket, and locking the door behind himself, John strolled down the foyer with a smile on his face.</p><p>George and Ringo were watching a scary movie, the lights were off, volume up, rumbling. John seemed to have walked in at a very perfect timing to when someone was about to jump scare, the music was perfect for John to spook the two men. Ringo and George were basically cuddling each other, eyes widened and both of their body's trembling in fear.</p><p>John crept up behind the couch, squinted at what was happening on the television before smirking evilly. So right after the first jump scare which caused Ringo and George to squeak, holding onto each other like koala bears, John made a hissing sound that sent the two flying.</p><p>George, recovering quickly from falling off of the couch, glared at John. "What the hell! How did you even get in here? And what are you doing here?"</p><p>John put a finger over his lips, shushing the younger as he smirked. "I'm here to see Paul."</p><p>Ringo waved at John innocently. "Hi Johnny."</p><p>John nodded at him, giving the blue eyed man a perfect wink that made Ringo smile brightly.</p><p>George on the other hand was trying to scramble back up onto the couch without looking at the screen to scare himself even more. "You're just now seeing Paul? It's almost three in the morning!"</p><p>John made a face at George. "I don't care."</p><p>Ringo stood up, reaching his hand out for George to grab onto so he could help the younger onto the couch. "I seen him earlier, he was knocked out cold but he didn't look as pale as before."</p><p>George nodded at that, grasping at Ringo's hand so that he could be helped up off of the carpeted floor. "He's just got a bad cold. There was no positive test for the flu, or strep throat, blasé blasé." He added on, while plopping back onto the couch.</p><p>John nodded reluctantly at that, but he was still on his way to prove it to himself that Paul was okay. As he left out of the living room to head towards the stairs, he could hear the sound of the television being turned up and the screams from the movie. Or from George and Ringo, it was probably both.</p><p>Entering Paul's room, it seemed to be almost a regular sight that he'd be greeted of the little lump sheltered under the covers. Closing the door noisily again, caused the lump to jerk a bit and for Paul to whip the blankets off of him to see who the intruder was. John smiled at him, expecting for Paul to smile back.</p><p>Instead he got a pillow to the face.</p><p>"You might as well should've stayed home!" Paul exclaimed, looking genuinely upset at John when the older slowly took the pillow off of his face. "I was waiting for you when I woke up, and you never came."</p><p>"Well, I'm here now Macca. I was just—" John was cut off with another pillow to the face, and a distinct soft growl from the younger man as more pillows plummeted his face.</p><p>"Just stop talking and come here already." Paul whined, crossing his arms as he glared at John who was just flabbergasted from being ambushed by a bunch of pillows. John huffed, but a smile was still on his face as he kicked his shoes off and walked over towards the seething man laying on the bed.</p><p>Paul stared at him as John climbed onto the bed, sitting himself in cute uncertain position, one leg hanging off of the bed. Paul couldn't help but to tackle John all the way onto the bed, falling on top of the older giggling maniacally as John grunted from the sudden movement. John cackled, wrapping his arms around Paul as the younger buried his face into the crevice of John's neck, giggling breathily into his skin.</p><p>"You're crazy." John muttered, threading his fingers through Paul's hair as the younger pulled away.</p><p>"You can't blame me." Paul murmured, looking at John with a glisten in his eyes that made John yearn to clutch onto him forever. "I haven't seen you in twenty-four hours." The younger added which made John laugh into the room.</p><p>"Did you miss me baby?" John gently asked, which sent a shiver down Paul's spine. Fuck, John doesn’t know how powerful that pet name could be. John smiled, caressing Paul's cheek with a warm hand.</p><p>"Yes, I did."</p><p>"I missed you, but you're probably going to get me sick so get off." John groaned, squirming around underneath Paul which made the younger laugh.</p><p>"I feel better now, can't you hear me?" Paul asked, sitting up to get off of John, but the older held him still by the waist.</p><p>Instead, John was the one to sit up so that he was almost chest to chest, and lips to lips with the younger man that was straddling him at this point. "You're so beautiful."</p><p>Paul blushed at that, slowly placing his hands on John's shoulders as he took in the extremely intimate position they were in.</p><p>Well this was slowly becoming something that Paul wasn't exactly against, but at the same time was not exactly for. He felt nervous, and he was shivering as John stared at him with a gentle look that slowly morphed into concern. "Are you alright Paul?" John asked, lifting a hand to brush a strand of hair from Paul's face.</p><p>Paul exhaled, face flushing. "I'm just a bit scared."</p><p>John frowned, and squeezed gingerly at Paul's waist which made the younger squeak a bit through sealed lips. "Why?"</p><p>"I- you.. we're like sitting like this and-" Paul looked John up and down, basically hinting at what he meant.</p><p>The reality hit John like a brick, and soon enough he released his hold on Paul. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry." He panicked, but Paul grappled onto him when John was about to basically push the younger off.</p><p>"No, no, you're fine, I'm just nervous."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>John felt Paul pinch harshly at his shoulder, which made him yelp. The younger scowled at him. "How could I not be nervous when I have somebody I really like in my room, you idiot."</p><p>John let that sink in which made his face a bit red but he played it off with a snicker, and decided to act like his shoulder was dislocated. He looked at Paul who was staring at him intently. "I'm sorry, damn, that hurt."</p><p>Paul huffed, running the tips of his fingers at the burning spot where pinched John at, he brushed at it gingerly, caressing it in tranquil circles. "That feel better?" He asked with a tone in his voice that made John's eyes widen, a smirk formed on his face that made John want to rip him apart from the inside.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>John had swallowed harshly, and with a shaking hand he removed Paul's hand from his shoulder. "Don't."</p><p>"Don't what?" Paul asked innocently, looking at John with gentle eyes.</p><p>"Don't talk like that."</p><p>Paul's brains turned into mush, and his jaw had dropped open from that. Something in his head was echoing the screams of: 'oh FUCK!' over and over again as John stared at him intently. Paul had never been in this type of situation before where he felt adrenaline knock through him like he just went bungee jumping. John released his hand, and Paul felt frozen on the spot with a stimulating feeling that he hadn't experienced since he was going through adolescence.</p><p>John had reached a hand up to Paul's cheek again, brushing his thumb sensually along the younger's lips. Paul was gripping at John's shoulders as if he was going to fall off of a cliff at this point, and it felt like he was. The younger let John touch him, his eyes fluttering when Lennon pressed the pad of his fucking thumb against his set of lips, and Paul just couldn't help but purse his them, kissing/suckling suggestively at that lucky thumb.</p><p>John's breath hitched when their eyes met, and holy shit was he popping a fucking hard-on right now.</p><p>"Paul." John managed, sounding wrecked.</p><p>Paul raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"</p><p>John parted his lips, pulling the younger man impossibly fucking closer. "If you want, can I kiss you?" He asked, careful with his words so he wouldn't give Paul the wrong idea. Even though that 'wrong fucking idea' was killing him right now.</p><p>Paul licked his lips, which made his tongue brush gently against John's thumb and -</p><p>He fucking <em>nodded</em> his head.</p><p>Moving a hand to the back of Paul's head, the older leaned in to press their lips together easily. He wasn't too rough, he didn't want to frighten the man. Paul sighed into it, snaking his arms around John's neck as he let his mouth part open for John to take him apart. John kissed him like he was on a mission, craving satisfaction to substitute for the aching feeling of wanting to fuck Paul on this bed. Paul matched the pace right along with him, kissing at John's lips languidly as he delved his fingers into the older's hair.</p><p>John licked, suckled, and nibbled gently at Paul's lips which withdrew gentle breaths from the younger man, it made John's body heat up like an oven. Paul had soon noticed that the kisses were leaving his lips, but they were trailing to the corner of his mouth and his jawline instead. </p><p>'Oh, <em>oh</em>. That felt good.' Paul thought to himself, letting John's lips wander sweetly across his jawline to his neck. The feeling of stopping the older crossed his mind, but he honestly didn't care enough to do so. Instead, he continued silently twirling John's hair with his fingers as the older began to press open mouthed kisses to his neck.</p><p>John had held Paul close to him as if he was going to run away, but the only thing that did run away was his self control when he ran his tongue along a certain spot on Paul's neck.</p><p>The younger tensed, the grip on his hair had tightened, and Paul's legs had clenched around John, then relaxed with a slight tremble to them. It happened all at once when he finally let out: "<em>Fuck</em>, John." As one of the first softly emitted moans that John made come from him.</p><p>Paul had to level himself when he felt John tongue frequently at that sensitive spot on his neck, causing his blood to stir pleasantly. With another shaky moan that made John go dizzy, the raven haired man thought this was the appropriate time to remove himself from the older before some actual deep shit started between them.</p><p>"Okay, okay that's enough you pervert. You marked me up." Paul whined, clutching at his tingling neck.</p><p>John who was on cloud nine, and embarrassed only removed his jacket to place it on the obvious tent in his crotch. "Got a bit ahead of myself there son."</p><p>Paul glared. "What if Geo sees it?"</p><p>John sputtered out laughing, grasping at Paul's leg to squeeze at it. "He won't love, unless you hide it."</p><p>Fuck he was so hard, he needed to get off before his dick starts bleeding. Maybe he could go back home and take a cold shower.</p><p>"Speaking of hiding something, I can see that by the way." Paul remarked, pointing his finger at the damn boner. "You're gross."</p><p>•••</p><p>John took the opportunity to stay at Paul’s throughout the night, it was a reward for having to watch Michael even though he didn’t mind. He was still shivering after the younger forced the man into a cold shower a consequence from Paul pointing out probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to John. When the erection was no longer a problem, and John trotted into the other man’s room to cuddle, Paul stated that he should sleep in the guest room.</p><p>It made John wonder briefly if Paul was mad at him for popping an erection because of a make out session, but that couldn’t be it since Paul was making a joke out of it. To John, it still felt as if he stepped over his boundaries.</p><p><em>Don’t</em> take advantage of him.</p><p>Right now as John laid in bed, he wondered what that meant. Not to take advantage of Paul. Of course it meant not to take control of someone, exploit and abuse their kindness, etc. But wanting to make Paul his, show him the world through his eyes, and cherish him although Paul’s unsure of it.. does that also apply to taking advantage?</p><p>John does not want to manipulate Paul, he does not want to hurt him, he just— gosh this falling in love shit is so annoying. There’s so many things to overthink, so many cons that go with it, it stresses him out so much.</p><p>John thought back to when Paul was upset that he didn’t come to his home earlier in the day. He also thought back to when the younger had said he was nervous of bringing John - who he liked - intohis room, which looking back at was so adorable.</p><p>Maybe he needed to go Paul’s pace, not overthink anything and do what the younger man feels comfortable with. Ask him, go slow with it, don’t pressure him into anything. He trusts you already, don’t fuck it up John, please don’t.</p><p>John let his thoughts transfer to the kiss, <em>fuck</em>, Paul skin was so soft under his lips - he was scared of leaving biting marks on his neck in case he’d break skin. Fucking hell, the feeling of Paul on top of him, his ass right on top of his cock from the position. John understood at that moment why the younger was a bit shaken up from the provocative position.</p><p>The feeling of Paul’s hands playing in his hair, his little hitches of breaths when John would suckle at the just right fucking spots, holy shit. The way Paul basically fell apart in his arms when John’s tongue brushed over that sensitive area at the base of his neck, causing that delicious moan - of HIS name - to escape his lips.</p><p>John grabbed at a pillow beside his head, and screamed out his lungs into it.</p><p>Fuck that was so - so, so very fucking <em>hot</em>. John did that, John made him make that beautiful sound, John made Paul moan out his name and the older man was going to die with that achievement on his gravestone.</p><p>John couldn’t see it, but he knew spiritually that Paul was just as turned on as him.</p><p>John felt as if he was choking on his self control, but it was holding up pretty well if you asked him.</p><p>••</p><p>“Would you rather eat American breakfast or our breakfast?” Ringo had randomly asked the two men walking beside him, well it was three but George was holding Paul up on his back which made it seem as if only two of them were walking.</p><p>“I’ve had American breaky, it was too sweet, but I wouldn’t mind having some again.” Paul said, clutching his arms around George’s shoulders as he rested his chin on top of the younger’s head. “What about you Geo?”</p><p>“American.” George said, jumping to hoist Paul up some more on his back which made the older squeak. “You keep slipping off!”</p><p>“That’s what your mind wants you to think!” Paul retorted, flicking at the side of George’s head which made both Ringo and John giggle.</p><p>George rolled his eyes, and paused his walking to set the older down onto the ground. “You’re too light.”</p><p>Paul adjusted his clothes, and squinted at George for a bit to register what he meant by that. Yet he was interrupted by John who tapped at his shoulder so he could turn around. “I’ll carry you on my back.” The auburn haired man said, which made Paul shove at him playfully.</p><p>“I thought you broke your back.” Paul replied with a smirk, but there was a specific tone in his voice that resembled the night before.</p><p>John wanted to eat him.</p><p>“I’ll carry you mate.” Ringo said to Paul, smiling innocently despite the sultry hidden message from the tone of the conversation.</p><p>Paul, and John looked at Ringo, and so did George. The youngest of the group immediately interjected, huddling towards Ringo to swing his arm around the smaller man’s waist. “Uh no, let’s continue to walk. Like all of us.” He said, basically tugging Ringo forward possessively.</p><p>John snickered, and then looked at Paul when the younger linked their arms to grasp his hand, interlacing their fingers. The two of them followed behind Ringo and George, continuing their way of walking towards a grand opening Ihop restaurant to eat at. Paul rested his head on John’s shoulder, looking around at the different people and stores that they passed by. John hummed, “Feeling alright baby?” He asked, glancing over at Paul.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m just relaxed. I feel so safe with you.”</p><p>John’s heart fluttered at that, and he tried his best to not cause an actual scene in the middle of public. It was a bit strange how looking ahead it seemed as if George and Ringo were in their own world, like a date. It’s as if it were double date that went on between the four of them. To be honest, it probably was and it made him smile.</p><p>He was feeling elated with the world at the moment.</p><p>“Paul, we like each other, like a lot. Right?”</p><p>Paul nodded his head, and lifted it up off of John’s shoulder to stare at him curiously. “Yes, why?”</p><p>“And we basically went on a date the other day.”</p><p>Paul stopped walking now which made John stop as well, the two faced each other and John could’ve sworn he heard how fast Paul’s heart was beating against his rib cage. “Yeah? So what?”</p><p>John got shy, and he managed to look away from the younger for a bit as he murmured. “Are we like.. boyfriends now? I mean, if you don’t want to be then-” Paul had cut John off with a finger to the lips, an elated expression on his face.</p><p>“We can be John, but if you ever think about using our relationship against me, you can forget it.”</p><p>“No baby, of course not, don’t you ever think that. I told you before that I would never hurt you like that.” John said, looking into Paul’s defensive eyes with an earnest look of honesty.</p><p>“Can we go slow?” Paul asked, it was as if he was hesitating to ask the question like John was going to whack him in the face.</p><p>“As slow as you want.”</p><p>Paul lifted himself up to peck shyly at the older’s lips, and then he went onto tugging at John’s arm for them to start walking again. George and Ringo had stopped only a couple of minutes before once they’d notice John and Paul weren’t behind them.</p><p>When they were in view again, the two men stared directly at the pair, George looked impatient, and Ringo was smiling at the two.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. combustion.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there’s a lot to unpack here kind of?? lol rip<br/>excuse the errors &amp; enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two long days later, John was caught up in so much shit. Especially from his aunt and Stuart, but right now he was on the phone with Harrison. The boy was ranting about nothing until he suddenly threatened John. "If you ever, ever, ever, ever.. hurt Paul. Or even think of hurting him, I will kill you."</p><p>John rolled his eyes. "Okay, yeah I get it—"</p><p>"No Lennon, I'm so serious. If he ever tells me or hints to me that you hurt his feelings an any type of way, I swear, I will end you."</p><p>John got quiet, contemplating whether or not George had truly meant that statement. From the sound of his voice and the sudden shift in tone of the conversation it seemed like George had meant it. To be honest, it made him nervous. John had no idea what to do, how to please Paul, and fuck - he was scared. The yearning had worked, and the man was his, but what the fuck was he supposed to do now?</p><p>John had exhaled through his nose, annoyed and subconsciously scratching at his eyebrow as he worked up on a reply to that. "Can you explain what you mean by that to me but less Ted Bundyish?"</p><p>George had stifled a laugh at that, but more civilized-like he explained what he had meant by that. "Please take care of Paul. Right now, the bond that you two have is beyond my reach, and all I could do is watch from afar. I'm just protective over him. If you hurt him John, I'm not sure if we could be friends anymore." He explained to John calmly.</p><p>John hummed, understanding completely what George had meant. It would make sense, that would make sense. "I get that, and I won't hurt him at all."</p><p>"But believe me, it's vice versa too. I'll be disappointed in Paul if he ever hurts you. Me and him would have a long talk about it, but I'll be there for you throughout." George had said, making sure he was understood since all the playfulness faded from his tone of voice.</p><p>John's mouth twitched up into a small smile, ah - Geo was a good friend. Whenever he didn't run his mouth about personal issues. "Can I go to you for advice now and then? This is my first relationship in awhile."</p><p>"What makes you think that I have relationship experience?" George squawked, a blush spreading into his cheeks from that question.</p><p>"Why wouldn't you? You're a handsome lad, shouldn't you have birds, blokes, or more throwing themselves at you?" John asked, leaning over towards the window of his room to see Mimi's vehicle drift into their driveway after dropping Michael off to school.</p><p>Shit, he'd have to go soon, Mimi called him earlier saying that they needed to have a serious talk.</p><p>"Shut up John. I think Ringo is much more better with relationship advice, but you can come to me if you ever question Paul's moods."</p><p>John sighed. "Alright, thanks. I have to go now."</p><p>George scoffed, "Just thanks? That's all I get?"</p><p>John had to hang up on George, unfortunately, but the suddenness of it might have earned himself a ticket for a few punches. The auburn haired man exhaled nervously, shoving his phone into his pocket as he made his way out of the bedroom. Trotting slowly down the stairs, he looked around the home to see if it was cleaned enough, and it was of course. Still, he wasn't sure whether or not Mimi would just spot something that was dirty out of midair.</p><p>John made his way towards the couch occupying the living room, he sat down on it and ran his hands through his hair. He would give anything to have Paul here with him right now. That also reminded him that he'd have to tell Mimi that they were together now.</p><p>John wonders how that would go. Mimi already knows his feelings towards Paul, she seemed to ignore it as well, playing it off as some type of temporary infatuation. The thought of it made him incredibly annoyed at everything. Senses rising. Hopefully she'd hear him out about this.</p><p>Mimi opened the door, looking strangely sad as she walked inside of the home. Removing her jacket, she turned around to place it on the rack besides the door. Afterwards, she walked towards the living room, her shoes still on which signified that she was going back sooner or later. John watched her quietly, eyes wide and anxious as if he was a child that got in trouble.</p><p>Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was the problem? And why was it a problem? Why did have to wait for an explanation, why can't it just drop down randomly in bold letters to keep him away from the anxiety.</p><p>When the woman sat down next to him, John was surprised when she whipped out a cigarette, lighting it up and placing it between her lips. John felt as if he just entered another world when he saw the cigarette smoke flow up to the ceiling, and especially when he seen it exhale out of Mimi's mouth.</p><p>"I really need you to do me a favor." She muttered hoarsely, which made John wince. Continuing, Mimi took another drag of the ciggy and this time the smoke rolled through her nostrils. "Paul."</p><p>John felt his chest constrict when Mimi said Paul’s name. "What about Paul?"</p><p>Mimi ignored the question somewhat, but she turned her gaze to John and let the terrified look on his face sink in. "I need you to choose two options."</p><p>What is she talking about?</p><p>"What options? What are you—"</p><p>"There's no money John. There's no food for us. I need you to either get a fucking job. Or - ask Paul if he could lend us a couple of dollars."</p><p>Well, holy fucking shit.</p><p>All the years Mimi has known John, she had never requested for him to ask somebody for money. Especially somebody rich. That was one of her pet peeves of others doing. Mimi would always scold John for asking other kids for lunch money, and it even went as far as her being mad at him for borrowing a coin from someone to put in a bubble gum machine. So her asking him, to ask Paul for some money - it made him feel uneasy.</p><p>Plus, John vowed that he'd never let Paul pay for things. It's an out of this world situation he found himself in, and fuck did he want to get out of it.</p><p>"How soon do I have to get a job?" John asked softly, looking into his aunt's eyes with concern.</p><p>"So soon that the option may be off the table." Mimi said, lowering her head and deepening the glare she was shooting at her lap. "John, listen. I don't know how close you are with McCartney, but please, if you do ask him for some money - don't mention me."</p><p>John felt as if he was going to choke, and his hands felt numb. "I'll try to tell him."</p><p>Mimi took another drag, turning her face towards her nephew as she released the smoke. "Don't try John, do it. Tell him, I can't- we can't live like this."</p><p>•••</p><p>Stuart grumbled, fixating his eyes at the bill he placed into John's hand. "Why'd you wait so long to tell me you dumbass? How was I supposed to know you were starving back at home?" He asked, closing his wallet up and settling it back into his pocket.</p><p>John stared at the obvious drug money that Stuart lended to him. It would be enough to get their household fed throughout the night, but it wasn't enough for the week.</p><p>But it was also John's fault for not giving an exact number out to Stu since he would be too embarrassed by it. "Sorry," He murmured softly, not meeting his best friend's eye. "It slips my mind you know? I have a lot of things going on."</p><p>Stuart did a double take at the younger man, noticing that John seemed a bit on edge. So softly, the man asked him what was wrong. "What things Johnny? Do you want to talk about it?" He placed a hand on the other man's shoulder.</p><p>"Every week that goes by, we're getting sucked dry. I mean you'd expect for Jim to pay us weekly for watching his child. Obviously, that's not happening."</p><p>Stuart nodded quietly, but then he furrowed his eyebrows as if a light bulb flicked on in his head. John already knew what he was about to suggest, and it made him roll his eyes at his best mate. "Hey wait a minute, why don't you just ask—"</p><p>"I'm not asking him Stuart. He doesn't need to get involved with my financial issues." John had spat out with irritation. He already began feeling a painful rush of insecurity and embarrassment at the mere thought of asking Paul for money.</p><p>Stuart sucked his teeth, and removed his hand from John's shoulder as he made his way out of his kitchen that the two men occupied. "I don't understand you John, Paul is literally right there. And from how he dresses, he seems like a walking bank, but yet you come to me - a person who sells drugs for a living."</p><p>"I don't see a problem with that." John truthfully said, which in return, had only earned him a light shove backwards.</p><p>"If you don't ask him, I'll do it for you the next time I see him." Stuart said, causing the younger man to still and freeze up from walking as if he just stared into Medusa's eyes.</p><p>John's ears had burned at that, and something vile came over his thoughts. Fuck. He hadn't expected to find himself pinning Stuart up against the wall, fist clenched into the older's shirt as he neared him. "Do not ask him to pay for anything when it comes to me." He said, voice lowered with genuine danger that made the older huff stubbornly. John noticed, and tightened his grip on Stuart after that. "I'm serious."</p><p>"Well Johnny," Stuart had casually began with a gentle voice, brushing his hands against the balled fists of John, trying to calm him down, so fearlessly. "I'll try not to tell your precious Paulie. But I guess looking out for you just has its downsides to it."</p><p>John's expression softened, and he faltered away from Stuart with an apologetic look in his eyes. The older glanced at him, and then snorted. "You're cute when you're mad you know." He muttered, as he straightened his collar up. "Don't apologize either, I already see that you're just letting stress bottle up."</p><p>"But still, you're my best mate and I shouldn't just grab you up like that."</p><p>Stuart had scoffed, "John - I almost get the shit beaten out of me everyday by bulky men that loves to shoot heroin up their veins. I'm not scared of you."</p><p>Stuart is.. interesting.</p><p>Then a - good or bad, or maybe both - idea popped up into John's head.</p><p>"How much do you get paid by selling drugs?"</p><p>Stuart's softened facial expression had dropped erratically into a disturbingly angry one, and it seemed as if he was about to smack the fuck out of John just from asking that radical question. "What the fuck did you just say?" The man asked, nearing John who stood his ground.</p><p>"I said, how much do—"</p><p>"Whatever you're thinking about, forget. it. now. It's not going to happen. Do you KNOW how dangerous it is?"</p><p>John pouted, and gave Stu some puppy dog eyes that usually worked out for him. "Please? I'm not going to sell any drugs long term, I just need the money."</p><p>"No John. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Stuart scolded, his angry facade morphing into a protectively worried one. "It's a dangerous job that can land you in jail, or six feet under. You have to be skilled a bloke for shit like this, and I don't want you hurt. If something ever happened to you I'll-"</p><p>"Stuart, I'm a grown man, and I've been watching you do this for years. I know what to do."</p><p>Inhaling sharply, and refusing to meet eyes with John, the older turned away from him to breathe. He felt as if a question and a proposal like that was coming, but this had caught him completely off guard. John wanted to sell drugs with him, not just any drugs, but - but heavy fucking drugs. And holy shit was that realization giving Stuart a panic attack.</p><p>"Stuart," The older man flinched when John softly spoke out his name, each syllable dripping with a plead that made Stu's heart wrench.</p><p>"John, you don't understand. There are people out there that go bat shit crazy over drugs." Stuart said, turning around to face the younger who stared at him with an expression so innocent, it made Stuart even more panicked about this conversation.</p><p>"I do unde—"</p><p>John felt both of Stuart's hands on his shoulders, and suddenly he was being shook. "No you don't John, for fuckssakes you don't! You have no idea what you're getting yourself into just by having this conversation with me! You have other ways of getting money. Don't.. don't take into how I do it."</p><p>John grumbled. "I'm not selling my body."</p><p>"I didn't mean that- don't do that either!" Stuart sputtered, laughing out from pure shock at this conversation. "Get a job! Do it the right way!"</p><p>John frowned, and ripped himself away from Stuart with a confused look on his face. "You know firsthand that getting a job is not that easy. Hence why you're selling drugs now." He said, causing the older to groan out in the hellish lake of anxiety. "You have the skills to do it, sell dope, but I don't? What are you trying to say about me Stuart?"</p><p>"I'm trying to say that I don't want you getting fucking killed. Or in jail John." Stuart angrily spat out, feeling his chest heave from the heaviness of this conversation. "I'd feel like I would be blamed, and if anything ever happens to you because of me.. I don't think- I don't think I could go on with life afterwards." He said, and he meant it, truthfully.</p><p>John literally made a 'hmph' noise as if he was a toddler that didn’t get their candy, it was something that he got from Paul. The auburn haired man, exhaled shakily. "Then I'll do it with you, not alone, so that we could have each other's backs." The younger said, looking at Stuart with a tearfully desperate look in his face that the older rarely ever seen.</p><p>"Fuck, alright, but listen you stick with me. At ALL times, I'll give you some tips throughout." Stuart gave in, much to his genuine disappointment. "Okay?"</p><p>John beamed, and clasped his hands together cutely. "Okay! When do we start?" He asked, looking at his best friend with a spark in his brown eyes.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>"Tomorrow night, I guess." Stuart muttered, his throat closing in and closing out as he watched John nod excitedly.</p><p>"Hey, you've never answered my question though."</p><p>Stuart felt as if he just ran twenty laps along a track field, he leant his backside against the wall and stared into space for a bit, then looked at his patient friend. "What is it Johnny? What was the question?"</p><p>"How much do you get paid for this?" John asked, his eyes studying Stuart anxiously as he waited for answer.</p><p>"You could make six hundred a day, depends on your customers."</p><p>Holy shit, six hundred a fucking a day.</p><p>John felt as if he was going to faint with that newly equipped information.</p><p>But there was a hunch to all of this. John realized that he couldn't tell anyone about this. Not Mimi, not Michael, not George and especially not Paul. It was just a little secret between him and Stuart. The thought of whatever consequence that could happen did cross his mind for a few seconds, but he was too distracted by the positive outcome of this.</p><p>•••</p><p>Paul placed the last dish in the dishwasher, then sprinkled in the detergent before shutting it closed. Sighing, he had then grasped at a kitchen towel to dry his hands. Turning around, he folded the used towel up and placed it to the side before trotting over to George who was busy reading a recipe, sitting at the kitchen island. "So what are you making tonight?" He asked, leaning against the counter in front of the younger, poking his head in to read the words upside down.</p><p>George growled, "Move you fucker, I'm trying to read here so I can figure it out."</p><p>Paul moved his head, and pushed his hand up to prop his chin up against his palm. "George have you ever smoked before?" He asked, and how random the question seemed made the younger look at him.</p><p>"Ciggies?"</p><p>Paul shook his head. "No, the um- weed."</p><p>George rolled his neck, getting the kinks out as he sat up in the chair. "I mean, once, when some girl that liked me pulled me aside. It was nice, took me on a cloud and all." He said, not noticing how intently Paul was staring at him. "Why'd you ask?"</p><p>"I wish I could experience something like that. Television makes it seem like it feels good and all."</p><p>George shrugged, "Television exaggerates sometimes so I really wouldn't take much interest."</p><p>Paul hummed, drawing invisible circles on the countertop as he asked another question that caught George's attention. "What about LSD? Acid?"</p><p>"Oh, fuck no. That could make you really ill, I mean it makes you go on a nice trip but there's also bad trips that can really fuck you up." George said, shaking his head dramatically as if his point wouldn't be proven if he didn't shake it.</p><p>"Oh, okay, okay. What about cocaine?" Paul asked before he could even stop himself.</p><p>George set the book down, stared at Paul with narrowed eyes, and a incredibly suspicious look on his face. "What are all these questions for? If I see you trying to snort coke Paul, I will lock you in the basement."</p><p>Fake laughing it off, Paul and poorly changed the subject. "Anyway I ordered a new phone, I'm pretty sure my old one is broken to a point of no return."</p><p>George stared quizzically at him for a bit, and then looked back at his book. "You're such a wreck."</p><p>Paul smiled shyly, and parted his lips to say something else to make the tension less awkward, but he was cut off when Ringo and John strolled in together. George looked at Ringo, and smiled a good natured smile before thrusting his finger at John. "You! You hung up on me earlier and it was mid conversation! You bastard." He exclaimed as John trailed his way over to Paul silently.</p><p>"I had things to tend to." John muttered, feeling completely estranged with the world at the moment. Well, at least he has a job now so his mood can't be that bad, even though that fucking <em>job</em> could land him in jail. At the same time, he felt sick that he had to hide it from the people he held close to his heart.</p><p>For example: the beautiful man that was hugging him warmly right now, John hugged him back, hands squeezing all over his body as if he hadn't seen Paul in months. "You smell good." John heard himself robotically say, and it was honest, Paul's scent smelt lovely to him.</p><p>"Stop sniffing me, weirdo." Paul giggled, then he pulled away, and turned his attention back to the two other men, but John was still clutching at his waist.</p><p>John had only been here for a couple of seconds and he already felt at peace, just cupping onto Paul as if the man was a personally regarded teddy bear. To be honest, he blocked out the conversations that the three of the men shared back and forth, instead he was focused on what the fuck he just got himself into with Stuart. Would Paul be mad at him? There was still time to drop out of the situation, and there was no doubt that Stuart would be relieved by that.</p><p>But then, he'd have to tell Paul about what the financial situation that he was going through at home. That would have to lead to him confiding into Paul about his obvious problems. To be frank, he felt sick just from the thought of that.</p><p>John must've been out of it for a minute because soon he felt a gentle hand on his cheek, and Paul's soft but concerned features blinding him, plus George and Ringo had disappeared into the living room. "What's wrong?" Paul asked, brushing his thumb against John's cheek.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"You've been quiet, and you're staring into space. What's wrong?"</p><p>John shoved his thoughts into a mental drawer and grasped at Paul's hand, kissing the inside of it gently which made the younger blush at the affectionate action. "Nothing baby, I'm fine."</p><p>"Don't lie to me Lennon." Paul had pouted at him adorably, gently pulling his hand away to rest it on John's chest.</p><p>John stared at Paul until the younger man started to blush from how long and intently John had his eyes on him. "What are you staring at?" He couldn't help but to ask, feeling a bit self conscious since John seemed to be studying his face observantly, silently, as if he was looking for something.</p><p>"You."</p><p>Paul slapped his chest, cheeks flushing as he tried to remove John's eyes off of his face by attempting to turn around in his grip, so that his back was facing the older, but much to his disadvantage - it didn't work. "Then stop that, will you?"</p><p>John smirked, and shook his head. "You're far too beautiful just for me to look away."</p><p>"You-" Paul silenced himself, and just let his face turn into a tomato. "Shut up."</p><p>John exhaled, and released his grip on Paul as he walked over towards the island. "But fuck did I find myself in a bubble back at home." He said, feeling exhausted while he plopped down at the seat.</p><p>Paul leaned against the counter, frowning. "What's going on? Is everything alright over there?"</p><p>"Physically, yeah, everyone is fine. It's just that.." John paused, and stared at the decorative design of the countertop before continuing. "My aunt is in a bad place lately, and that makes me in a bad place."</p><p>"Oh, what bad place?" Paul asked, his voice possessing John's senses plus the way the younger's hands petted his, it made him relax.</p><p>Should he tell Paul?</p><p>John looked at their hands, then at Paul's lovey eyes.</p><p>Fuck it.</p><p>"Financially.. we're um going through some things. To be frank with you, I think Mimi assumed that old man Jimmy was going to be paying us every week to be watching Michael."</p><p>Paul hummed, and just like Stuart, it looked as if an idea came up in his head. So before he could even utter it, John had cut in. "But, I have control over it. Trust me, we'll be fine so don't even worry about it."</p><p>"John, if you need me to write you a check I can-"</p><p>"No, no Paul. I said I can take care of it. Got a job today actually, plus Stu lended me some money earlier and I can buy food with that."</p><p>Paul had grumbled at that, and squeezed at John's hand hard enough to make the older squeak in subtle pain. "You'd go to Stuart before coming to me? Which one is your boyfriend and which one isn't?" Paul squawked, twisting John's fingers as he glared at him. "You're so mean."</p><p>"You know I would never ask you for money baby, it's been that way since we've first met." John had returned, looking at his stinging finger. The pet-name sunk in again, which made Paul scrunch his face up adorably.</p><p>"I guess so, but still, it's the fact that you came to Stuart first before coming to me." Paul said, releasing John's finger and crossing his arms over the countertop, leaning against it.</p><p>"I'm sorry baby." John murmured, it was genuine, but how flat it came out made it seem as if he didn't mean it.</p><p>Paul knew the apology was genuine though, as he walked from around the island to get closer to John. The younger man had leaned in close, basically sitting down onto John's lap and kissed lightly at his cheek. "It's okay, I'm not that mad at you. I'm just worried about you." He muttered, letting his arms hang off of the older's shoulders.</p><p>"Baby, you worry about too many things already. I'm the last thing you need to worry about." John said, sitting back against the chair, noticing that the younger had eventually slid into his lap in a similar position. Fuck.</p><p>Paul let his eyes observe John's face, and a soft smile began to form which made the older's heart smile at the same time. "Well that's too bad, because you've been on my list of worries for awhile now."</p><p>John chuckled, feeling butterflies in his stomach flutter gracefully at that. "Can't stop that, can't I?" He murmured, glancing down at the full lips that were inching closer by each second.</p><p>Paul giggled, and leaned down to suddenly capture John's lips with his. John was caught a bit off guard, but he let Paul take control with gentle and slow kisses, their breaths mingling with each other. John felt his stomach lurch when Paul's hand grasped gently at the back of his neck, deepening the kiss within every passing second.</p><p>Damn Paul was such a spectacular kisser, there was no reason why his blood should be rushing down south after each kiss.</p><p>Sighing in pleasure, the older gripped at his waist tightly, body shaking as Paul's tongue did teasing kitten licks at the inside of John's mouth. Basically brushing his tongue against his, making different areas of John’s mouth tingle from the warm feeling. Slowly, he pulled away from John and ran his tongue along his own glistening lips, before laughing as John chased after the kiss needily. "I can feel you under me. You're gross, again. I swear you're so easy." He said, in that same daring voice he used the other day.</p><p>John trembled, hands clenching around the younger's waist. "You're a tease."</p><p>Paul snickered, then he leaned in to snuggle John. When the younger man had buried his face into the crook of John's neck, it gave the impression that Paul was done with his ministrations.</p><p>Until —</p><p>John gasped into the isolated kitchen, feeling the warmth of Paul's mouth caressing the sensitive skin of his neck. Fuck - what the fuck. The slick, rubbery feeling of Paul's tongue slithering across his skin made the older man groan out a trembling: "Shit." John closed his eyes, and bit down hard on his bottom lip. "This is what you get for the other night." Paul whispered against his skin, and that seemed to set John off.</p><p>Standing up, and gripping Paul's legs, he sat the younger man on the countertop of the island. Paul's breath hitched lightly, but he was pleasantly quieted when John's lips were placed back on his. John, standing in between Paul's legs, pulled the younger close to him almost pressing their crotches together if it wasn't due to the teensy size difference. Their tongues rolled over each other passionately, Paul eased off and let John take control of the kiss.</p><p>John had gently pulled away, leaving soft but lingering kisses at the corner of the younger's lips, spreading to his cheeks. "Fuck, you're so beautiful."</p><p>"John," Paul panted, his voice shaking when the man began to trail kisses to his neck again. "Please, shut up." He giggled through a moan when John found that same spot again, still a bit marked up from the other night.</p><p>"You sound so beautiful baby." John mumbled into his skin, before drenching Paul's skin in saliva when he ran his against the spot again.</p><p>"Johnny." Paul mewled softly into the kitchen, following up with soft pants, clenching his trembling legs around John's body. The other man took a mental note that Paul would squeeze around him whenever John had triggered a sensitive spot. Holy fuck was he going to use that information later.</p><p>John had suddenly pulled away, and looked at Paul attentively. He tried his best not to let his self control get conquered when Paul gave him a 'why'd you stop?' kind of look. But hell, this was not going to be over by a long shot. John could die making out with Paul, he'd be one hundred percent okay with it. "Is it alright if I stay the night again?"</p><p>"Is that why'd you stop? You don't have to ask anymore John, we're together now."</p><p>John had laughed, moving his hands from the younger's waist, and down his sides to squeeze at Paul's thighs. "Is that why I stopped? I never thought of you as someone who loves being kissed."</p><p>Paul scowled at him, and placed his palms flat on John's hips. "You're the one who initiated it." He said, rolling his eyes which had caused John to gape at him.</p><p>"What? You kissed me first!"</p><p>"Says the one who couldn't keep his eyes off of my lips." Paul returned, a snarky smirk playing on his face. "Look, you're doing it now."</p><p>"It's not my fault you—" John was cut off by a gasp when he felt Paul's naughty hands slip up shirt, feeling around unashamedly at his backside and ribs.</p><p>"You know, when I was changing your clothes that time when you were sick. I never realized how toned you are Lennon."</p><p>Yeah sure enough, Paul was going to be the end of him, and again - sure enough John was about to rip Paul's clothes off and bend him over the counter top until his phone had rung.</p><p>Ugh, what the <em>hell</em>.</p><p>Paul unfortunately removed his hand away from John, and sat silently as John irritatedly whipped his phone out of his pocket. "Who is it?" He asked, clenching his jaw as he answered the phone.</p><p>"It’s Stuart dipshit, Pete just called me, and you need to come over.” </p><p>“I just left though Stu.. and why is it just me that has to come over?” John asked, not noticing how Paul made a face at the mention of Stuart’s name. </p><p>”Too many questions, just hurry up.”</p><p>•••</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmaoskndnf a make out scene was not even supposed to be included in this chap, but john&amp;paul can’t keep their hands off of each other so it was beyond my control</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. boredom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaa i hate chaps that have nothing to do with the actual plot, but i had to put a filler in somewhere so :/ the next chapter is done alrdy &amp; i was half tempted to post that chap instead of this one lmfaoooo</p><p>apart from that, here’s fluff? i love writing mcharrison’s friendship in this book, they’re actual soulmates &amp; it’s their world that we so happen to live in. </p><p>hehe, excuse the errors :) see u again in 2 days, or not</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You just got here. Now you have to leave?" Paul said, right as soon as John helped him down off of the counter top. "What does he even want?"</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Stuart." Paul squinted at John, feeling genuinely annoyed at the interrupted make out session between the two.</p><p>The older gleamed at Paul for a bit, amused, and then he shrugged his shoulders awkwardly as if he didn't know the reason ether. "I don't know baby, but don't even worry about it. I'm coming right back." He said, feeling a bit annoyed at himself, especially when Paul's upsettingly heart wrenching eyes studied his face.</p><p>The way the younger could manipulate John's emotions so unintentionally just from the look in his eyes was almost hilarious.</p><p>Paul looked kind of upset, and he was. To be frank, he wasn't a big fan of the John&amp;Stuart duo, it made him feel kind of rude since Stuart basically had a hand in helping him with Michael. It was just that damned estranged feeling. Putting aside his thoughts, still he nodded with a smile that John knew was fake. "Okay, whenever you come back, I think dinner will be ready."</p><p>John frowned. "Baby, don't look like that."</p><p>Paul blinked, looking at John cluelessly. "Look like what?" He asked, acting confused as to what the older meant.</p><p>"All sad you know. I'll be back shortly, you know I will." John said, placing a loving hand that millions would die for on Paul's cheek to bring him close and kiss gently at his lips. "Not two in the morning this time." He murmured, causing Paul to bust out giggling into the kiss before reciprocating it fully.</p><p>When John did depart from his house when the two basically had to force themselves to not make out again, Paul found it necessary to meet up with George and Ringo in the living room. The two men were sitting side by side on the carpet, busy playing some new game on their phone, and the both of them looking a bit too into it to notice Paul's presence.</p><p>The second youngest dipped down onto his knees, creeping over towards George and withering through the space in his legs so that he could get into a comfortable position. Squeezed in between the younger's legs, back pressed against George's chest, and the back of his head rested on the other's collarbone. George grunted, whined and moved his arms so that he could have his phone in front of both him and Paul. "Hate it when you do that." George muttered, resting his chin on Paul's head as he played.</p><p>Ringo glanced from his game and over at the two, then he smiled. The blue eyed man just adored how close George and Paul were to randomly cuddle each other, no toxic masculinity in sight at all. Richard had rarely seen it before, the men he grew up with would make it unnecessarily awkward to even fucking shake hands with each other. Paul and George however seemed to not have cared. Those two couldn't stop cuddling with each other even if their lives depended on it.</p><p>It makes him wonder, how different will John and Paul be? Will they cuddle all the time like George and Paul? Probably not, John doesn't seem like a cuddler - but Paul would probably hypnotize him somehow with those putridly beautiful eyes to do it.</p><p>Ringo got killed by George in the middle of his thoughts.</p><p>"George!" He squeaked, dropping his phone as the youngest howled out laughter that came straight from his chest.</p><p>"You were too busy staring at us, you couldn't even see me." George had said, not looking away from his phone.</p><p>Paul watched as George ran about, slaughtering other people as time went by. "What even is this game?" He asked, not meaning to sound grumpy, but it came out like that beyond his control.</p><p>George coughed, and shifted so that Paul slumped more down onto his body. "Among us."</p><p>Ringo looked over at the second youngest, turning his phone off since he wouldn't be playing the game for awhile. "Are you okay Paul?"</p><p>Before Paul could answer, George had already answered that question. "He's moody because John left." He said while voting some innocent and unknowing color out of the game, the ejection was after proving that he had no part in murder of the 'dark green' crew mate.</p><p>Paul raised himself up from George, and twisted around so that he was facing the younger man. "I'm not moody at all. Are you crazy?" He asked, purposely blocking George's view from the game which left him helpless.</p><p>"Paul, move!"</p><p>"If anything you're the one that's moody." Paul said with a wicked smile, blatantly ignoring George's pleads which made Ringo giggle from the other end. George was eventually kicked out due to inactivity, and he rolled his eyes at the message.</p><p>'Well isn't that some fucking bullshit.' George had thought quietly to himself, turning his phone off slowly. Paul was definitely going to pay for that. With an evil cackle, and vengeance in his eyes that made Paul's smile wipe away quickly, George had placed his phone down to basically smother Paul against the carpet with a tirade of tickles that knocked the breath from Paul's lungs.</p><p>Laughing wildly, and squealing like an actually scared animal, Paul had no way of escaping George's wrath. Especially since Ringo was too enraptured from the wholesome image of basically two children torturing each other. The youngest was driven by vengeance from losing at the game, and he was taking it all out on Paul who was near tears of laughter.</p><p>"Stop! Stop!" Paul squeaked, swatting his hands over  George's squiggly fingers that moved against his ticklish spots. "Imsorry!"</p><p>"You made me lose the game." George whined, pausing his tickling to let Paul breathe before he could overwhelm him, then one thing would lead to another and the day would just — yeah.</p><p>Paul covered his wet eyes, giggling softly as he tried to catch his breath. "Fuck you and your stupid game." He snickered, before lifting his hands off of his face to slap at George's chest playfully. George narrowed his eyes at Paul, then smirked before standing up with both of Paul's wrists in his grip. How tight the grip was on his wrists, along with the evil smirk on his best friend's face made the older look on in terror as to what George had in mind. "Wait! Wait! Stop!" Paul cackled as he was basically dragged out of the living room with Ringo following behind with newfound interest.</p><p>••</p><p>"What are you doing?" Paul asked when George had finished tying the boy up with a damn blindfold. Ringo watched innocently, sitting at the end of the bed his legs were dangling off a bit and the sight would be more adorable if it weren't for the two crackheads in the room with him.</p><p>"Playing hide and go seek since you ruined the last game. You have to find me and Ringo." George said, as he backed away from the confused man who had his arms out, hands clenching and unclenching the air as if he was trying to grab it. Ringo thought it was cute and so did George, which made them laugh hysterically.</p><p>Paul frowned, turning around several times, trying his best to seek out where he strongly sensed the noise of laughter. "Whats so funny?" The man whined, which made George laugh even harder.</p><p>"You! You're so cute." George had giggled, then quickly he went onto continue his explanation. "Anyway, me and Ringo will not make any noise. You have forty-five seconds to find one of us."</p><p>Paul kissed his teeth, and placed his hands on his hips. "And if I don't find the both of you, then what?"</p><p>George hesitated, not really sure what the outcome could be. He wanted to do give a punishment out that would embarrass Paul, but he didn't want to push the limits that he has and make him uncomfortable. Looking over at Ringo, who was just as lost on that question as George, there wasn't really a suggestion to help the lads out. Paul seemed to have noticed the awkward quietness, and a snide smirk came across his face. "No idea huh?"</p><p>"You have to do the laundry for two months." George said, pulling out one of the most harmless punishments he could think up for the raven haired man.</p><p>Paul looked at the ceiling, assuming that it was George and Ringo. "Is that it?" He asked, furrowing his perfect eyebrows up at the innocent ceiling. The two other men began to laugh into their hands, trying their best to stifle it. George eventually gathered himself and chuckled under his breath as he murmured: "Yeah, that's it."</p><p>"Well, okay then." Paul softly uttered, moving his arms out to make out his surroundings in the dark abyss of the blindfold.</p><p>George nodded at Ringo, and pulled his phone out to set the timer for forty-five seconds. "Ready? Set. Go." He whispered, before pressing the start button on the timer while scurrying over to the closet. Ringo looked around, eyes wide as he tried his best to find a hiding spot when Paul had started moving around.</p><p>Feeling around the room, his hands clasping onto the walls, Paul grew quiet and intently determined on finding his friends. Ringo swallowed down a gulp stepping forward as quietly as he could, he could feel George's eyes on him - peeking curiously through the closet door to see what Paul and him were doing.</p><p>Paul suddenly grew still, and Ringo did too once he noticed how Paul stopped his movements abruptly.</p><p>"Rings, go and hide!" George mouthed at him, swatting his hand towards the mattress of the room, basically gesturing for Ringo to hide under the bed.</p><p>"Oh!" Ringo whispered, before making his way over to the bed quietly.</p><p>Paul followed the sound of soft footsteps mushing against the room floor, senses heightened, and mind focused. He traveled his way towards Ringo, arms still stretched out as the older man attempted to wiggle his way underneath the bed. Paul heard the rustling of Ringo's body against the floor, and with a smirk he dropped down on his knees - his hands grasping right at the older's ankles.</p><p>Ringo stifled a gasp, scrambling to grab onto the leg of the bed when he felt the younger tug at his two ankles.</p><p>Fortunately for Ringo, Paul's body strength seemed to be against him at the moment. The younger dropped Ringo's ankles, and grumbled to himself as he stumbled back a bit. "Fucking hell." Paul spat, then he dropped to his knees and began to make his way under the bed as well, spooking the fuck out of Ringo.</p><p>"Shit!" Ringo squeaked, trying his best to twist around and rush from under the bed until Paul's hands grabbed onto him again. "No! George help!"</p><p>George on the other hand was quietly laughing into his hand, feeling lightheaded from how hard he was sputtering. To be honest, he lost his shit when Paul grabbed at Ringo's ankles the first time, it made it seem as if Paul was a murderer or something relative to it.</p><p>They played Hide and Seek for at least two whole</p><p>hours, the game was growing hilariously intense each round. The seconds of finding George and Ringo would dim down to fifteen, then at ten, then to an impossible six seconds. It ended with Paul somehow winning the games, using his senses to track each and every movement that came from the two other men. Although Paul had became disinterested in the game throughout the third round, he continued to play with his friends so they wouldn't feel bad.</p><p>Bored, and badly missing John, Paul had abandoned the hide&amp;seek game after the eighth and last round. He had won, but he still volunteered on doing everyone's laundry because Paul McCartney was always one to volunteer. Paul barely liked anyone doing chores unless it was him, it felt like he was violating something whenever he sees George doing as much as sweeping. Right now the man found himself laying languidly on the couch, barely awake from a two hour nap. Food aroma from the kitchen, possibly George had invaded the house, and it made Paul's stomach whine.</p><p>The huge television was blaring an old episode of Looney Tunes beside him, possibly from 1942. Ah, that year seemed so long ago comparing to now. Paul wondered what it would have been like if he was born in 1942, would things be different? Or would it just be much worse?</p><p>Paul knew that abuse against women was the  livelihood of the fifties and sixties, the man also knew that abuse against women and children had also existed. Fuck so things would only become worse for him, it seemed as if you could beat a child and get away with it back in those times.</p><p>Paul exhaled, drawing his legs out enough for one to hang off of the couch. He wished he was taller. If only his father didn't beat the anxiety in him to stub his growth, he'd be at least 5'10 or 5'11, maybe even taller. However, in some circumstances, almost all that included John Lennon, he didn't actually mind his height.</p><p>"Hey, John." Paul sung softly, closing his eyes again and resting his hand against his growling stomach. "Please come back home, I really miss you and your terrible jokes." He continued, before giggling at himself for coming up with such a random tune about John. Paul gathered himself, and looked around quizzically for a bit. "Hey John, hey Jone, hey Jude." He muttered out names that began with J aimlessly, before ultimately choosing Jude to continue his little tune.</p><p>"Hey, Jude." Paul murmured, and then hummed a bit before throwing in a few more words. "Something, something take a sad song and <em>make it better</em>.. something something." Opening his eyes, he glared over at the clock he barely used, it was around the time Michael would usually be off of school. That meant it was near the end of the day.</p><p>John was not back.</p><p>Paul really wished he had a working phone so he could text him, ask if John was okay, if he needed anything. It was around that moment, Paul figured that he was being too clingy, a bit too much for John, especially since it's their first few days as an actual couple. So with that mentality, Paul found himself falling into a void of needing to back off John and let him come back whenever he does come back.</p><p>'Don't be fucking annoying and give him something to dislike you stupid cunt.' Paul told himself, but the voice was not his, and instead it was his father's which had scared the actual fuck out of him.</p><p>Turning over to his side, Paul continued to sing under his breath until it wavered out on its own from his disinterest. Fuck was he bored. Paul moved off of the couch, and began to make his way down the hall of his home. He wondered if he could get something out of watching George cook, but he'd always watch the younger cook so he doubted it.</p><p>Frankly, Paul would take anything to be distracted from his busy mind. If he laid down and let his thoughts control him too much, it would lead back to things that he hated to think about. Things that would always creep out of the hatch that he buried it in, finding their way back into his brain to torture him unforgivably. Paul began to grow annoyed, wishing that he could flush the past down the toilet and not have to walk backwards, creating another setback for himself. Trekking into the dining room, a place where they barely ate at since the living room was much more suitable for them, Paul took a seat down on one of the chairs.</p><p>Bringing his legs up to us chest, Paul rested his cheek on top of one of his knees, not minding the way that his jaw would ache from the position. He wished that he wasn't annoying, or becoming too attached to John very early on. The thought of him running John away somehow did cross his mind, and it made him laugh bitterly at himself. Wouldn't that be a surprise? Not so much since Paul was depending on him more ways than one.</p><p>Stuart seemed to be as much of a friend to John as George was a friend to him.</p><p>Paul had no idea where that thought came from. </p><p>Then there was Pete. Handsome Pete, masculine, very attractive. Paul grimaced at himself, and moved his cheek off of his knee to let his hands feel all over his soft face. 'Must be nice,' Paul had thought pathetically to himself. He squeezed at his own cheeks, and groaned at his lack of self esteem.</p><p>If John says that he's pretty and gorgeous, then he is. But why couldn't Paul see that? He tried his best, desperately searching for what John sees in him, all hidden by the mountain of insults thrown at him because of his looks. Self love is so hard for him to master, but one day he'll get the hang of it. According to different people, Paul was 'gorgeous' and the most 'stunning' bloke in England.</p><p>Maybe he should convince himself that he truly is the most stunning bloke in England.</p><p>Clasping his hands over his cheeks, he thought childishly. "What if I'm more stunning than Harry Styles?" He gasped to himself, eyes widening at nothing in particular. That was when Paul noticed that he was talking to himself, and shit - he was not ashamed of it.</p><p>Hell, he needs at least someone to listen.</p><p>••</p><p>It was around nighttime when Paul heard the door abruptly open to his room, and the sounds of shaky breathing interrupt his sleep. Fluttering his eyes opened, Paul wasn't prepared to have John basically topple over him onto the bed, strong arms bear hugging the shit out of him before he could even muffle a sound. Paul's breath hitched, and before he could even recognize who this was, John had spoken already.</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>"John?"</p><p>"Paul, baby, I need you to look at me." John said, moving off of the younger for a bit letting Paul twist around to lay on his backside. John could basically hover over him, now, staring at him intently. Paul blinked up at John very confused, not sure of what he should be thinking at the moment, especially since John kind of broke his promise. At the same time he kept it, and came back so Paul really didn't give a shit.</p><p>When they caught eyes, John smiled a bit ghostly at him and drew his hands up to Paul's face, caressing his warm cheek. "Don't be mad at me."</p><p>Paul blinked slowly at him, squirming tiredly under the covers so that his arms reached out for John. "C'mere." He mumbled, his voice was raspy and filled with an adorable sound of sleepiness. </p><p>John clicked his tongue, shaking his head at the younger, and Paul whined. "Want to take a shower real quick, I stopped by Mimi's to get some overnight clothes, and Michael made me stay for a few more hours."</p><p>"Give me your hoodie." Paul murmured, staring up at him with heavy eyes, and fuck did he look so pretty like this. Barely awake, voice soft and raspy, his body more relaxed and pliant to anything.</p><p>John stared at him, mentally wondering how the hell Paul knew John brought one of his hoodies. "Okay baby. I'll be back alright?" Those familiar words would have made a more awake Paul roll his eyes and say back something snarky, but right now the younger just nodded, letting his eyes close again.</p><p>When he opened his eyes again, it was because John was tapping at his cheek. "Paulie, want to put my hoodie on right now or in the morning?"</p><p>"Morning, now come here already." Paul pouted, which made John snicker and lay down besides the younger, pulling Paul towards him by his waist. Paul obliged happily, basically smothering himself against John's body. The man sighed sleepily, taking in the scent of him for a few seconds before burying his face into John's chest, and squirming his legs around so that they tangled with the older's.</p><p>John, amused, let Paul continue to squirm around on top of him until he settled into a comfortable position. He gracefully took in the soft 'yip' the younger made when he found his sanctuary, and let his eyes close gently. It had gave John the perfect scenery to watch those long eyelashes fan at those soft cheeks until Paul fell into deep sleep.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>John had absolutely no idea how he was going to handle this. Being over at Pete's, he was introduced to a lot of shit that he figured was not his business to know about. It made him feel genuinely nauseous, and angry at everything that happened to be against Paul.</p><p>Such as Jim, especially Jim.</p><p>When they meet up with Pete again the day after tomorrow, it would all be brought forward. Wondering how it would go, it kept John awake for at least a couple of more hours until he drifted off to sleep on his own.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. warm cereal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey, hi, hello pls excuse the errors :)<br/>next chap is kinda heavy on angst so there’s a warning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Removing his shirt from his body, Paul grasped at John's hoodie that laid at the end of the bed. It had to be early, like around seven in the morning but he didn't care. The man immediately put the hoodie on before he could convince himself that John was staring at his bare upper body. That was something he was definitely not ready for, but as soon as he was John would know. Pulling the hoodie over his head, and humming in content as it draped off of him gloriously, he began to smile. Afterwards, Paul climbed back onto the bed and straddled John's sleeping body with a pout on his face. "Wake up."</p><p>John didn't budge, not even noticing the sudden weight on him. Paul raised his hands up, sleeves running down his arm as he began to push gently at John's chest. "John, wake up already!" He shouted, which made the older shift a bit. Paul smiled, and watched closely as the older male began to wake up slowly, he looked grumpy from the intrusion.</p><p>"Good morning." Paul beamed, and that was when John felt himself immediately wake up, the sight before him beautiful as ever. Paul in his clothes, messy bed hair, a genuine white smile and beautiful porcelain skin that made John crave to kiss at. John smiled lazily at him, moving his hands over to the younger to grab gently at his waist. This is a sight he could wake up to any day, he wouldn't want anything else.</p><p>"Good morning." John mumbled, eyeing Paul hard enough to make the younger blush. "You look so soft and beautiful like this Paul, aren't I a lucky soul."</p><p>Paul inhaled, and for once he didn't deny John's praise, instead he emitted a soft question that made John's heart melt. "Really?" Paul asked, looking at the older with gentle eyes that seemed to sparkle under the rays of the sun flowing into the room.</p><p>"Yes, really." John said, before tapping at Paul's knee to attract his attention. "Come under the covers with me." He murmured, and Paul without any argument had obeyed, moving off of John so the older could pull him under the sheets with him. Paul snuggled against John, hooking a leg up and over one of John's. At the same time, he gently began running his hands up the older's abdomen to rest above his chest.</p><p>John snaked an arm around Paul's waist, moving the younger man up his body enough so that he could place a gentle kiss to his lips. "You're like a cat." John mumbled against his lips, swallowing down the giggle that came from Paul as he began to deepen the kiss.</p><p>Paul fluttered his eyes closed, sitting up and tilting his head as John's lips moved against his. Feeling above everything when their tongues began to work on each other, Paul had let his hand touch up against John's face and brush lightly at the skin of his cheek. To be honest, he had never thought he'd be skilled at kissing anyone - but whenever he did, Paul would just manage to perfectly match whatever rhythm set on by his partner. It deemed him to be an excellent kisser for any of the lucky persons that ever experienced a McCartney kiss.</p><p>Paul withdrew from the long kiss just to plant lingering, and wet kisses along John's lips to the corner of his mouth. Making sure to have the older chase each one yearningly, he let his tongue brush softly against John's skin after each kiss. It wasn't his intentions of getting John riled up each and every time they made out. It was just a thing that occurred. Him running his hands up and down John's chest, brushing his fingers against the older's clothed nips was not intentional, it was just something to do with his hands while his face lips were busy.</p><p>However, from the soft moan that came from John when Paul did it again, it was obvious that the younger enjoyed it.</p><p>"I have a feeling you do this on purpose." John said, his breath hitching a bit when he felt the younger's hand make its way up his fucking shirt. "Paul-"</p><p>"Do what on purpose?" Paul giggled, moving away from John but he kept his hand still. "This is how I kiss, do you want me to stop?" He asked, before pouting those fucking lips at John putting on a predominately innocent facade.</p><p>John held Paul's waist, suddenly sitting up on the bed so that the younger was straddled on his lap, again. Paul gripped tightly onto John from the sudden shift of movement, and then he relaxed once the older's hand had met his cheek, thumb brushing against his bottom lip. "You're a tease McCartney." He mumbled, a voice that seemed unrecognizable to Paul, but it didn't seem to bother him.</p><p>Paul looked at John's thumb, then gazed back up at him through his eyelashes, the look he was giving John seemed to almost push the older man into sexually frustrated coma. "I didn't even do anything." Paul murmured, although his hands were gently running up and down John's sides. "Yet."</p><p>"Yet?"</p><p>Paul snickered at the somewhat discombobulated expression on his boyfriend's face, moving his hand up to grasp at John's, drawing it away from his face so that he could interlace their fingers. "You're so cute." The younger teased, which made John go flustered.</p><p>"You're always the one that riles me up, and then forces me into a cold shower."</p><p>Paul nodded, a casual smile on his face as if this was an everyday conversation between two people. "Yes, that's pretty much what happens. If you expect more from me then you'll have to wait and see Johnny." He said softly, bringing both of their hands up so that he could kiss at the back of John's hand, somewhat to distract himself.</p><p>"Oh don't worry, it's no pressure baby. I won't force you to do anything, whenever you want to go that far, it's all up to you." John had said, squeezing at the younger's thigh before bringing his hand up to his hips, oblivious to the butterflies that fluttered in Paul's stomach when he said those words.</p><p>Paul smiled, letting go of John's hand to wrap both of his arms around his neck, sitting up on his knees to meet John in a short, but sweet, and languid kiss. "But if you want to get me riled up too, then the pleasure is all yours." The younger murmured against his lips, and then shuddering when John tightened his grip around Paul's waist.</p><p>John took advantage of that sentence, and then subtly he let his hands run up the oversized hoodie. Carefully, continuing to distract Paul with his own lips, he began to caress the incredibly soft skin of Paul's stomach. Just one hand covering almost the entire expanse of his stomach, moving up to his ribs, John swallowed down the small gasp that left Paul's mouth in the kiss before the younger pulled away.</p><p>"Your hands are cold, idiot." Paul whined, clutching onto John as the older trailed hot kisses down his neck, running his fingers over the raven haired man's own pink nipple nub. Withdrawing another moan from Paul, he couldn't help but to smile against his skin, fuck he sounded so beautiful.</p><p>Paul slowly seated himself down on top of John, his legs shaking from the stimulating feeling of pure fucking arousal. That was a feeling he tried to hide ever since he met John the second time, when the older man basically caged him in against the wall after manhandling him. And -</p><p>Oh fuck did he miss this feeling.</p><p>Paul panted when John had the audacity to twist at his nipples with one hand, and shift his other hand down to that aching feeling in the middle of his legs. John palm rested on his member, but it didn't move, much to Paul's consent and horny disappointment. Trembling, and trying not to buck his hips up against the fucking hand so that John doesn't get the wrong idea, Paul mewled out a wet, breathy, and shaking: "Fuck."</p><p>"Alright there Paul?" John slyly asked, moving away from Paul's now marked up neck to smile dazedly at him.</p><p>Paul released a pattern of heavy breathing, before hiccuping as he squirmed around in John's lap. "Yes, I- shit." He managed, his voice crackling with a whimper when he could've sworn John ground the heel of his hand against his crotch. From the laugh that came out of the older, he did, it wasn't Paul's imagination."Johnny," The man yelped, closing his legs around John's hand as he began to shake all over.</p><p>John is going to have so much fun with him.</p><p>"Let's go and get some breakfast, I'm starving." John had said, casually removing his hand from in between Paul's shaking thighs and doing the same with the one that was clutching at his nipple. "Come on kitten."</p><p>"Shut up, you asshole. That wasn't you riling me up, you was just torturing me." Paul quipped, with his embarrassingly reddened cheeks, dazed eyes, and lastly a prominent erection.</p><p>"It's not my fault that your body is so sensitive to simple touches you big baby." John smirked, only to get a painful thump to the collarbone in return that made him squeak girlishly.</p><p>••</p><p>Michael smiled as wide as the sun at the sight of his older brother, the two ran to each other as if they were in a movie drama. Mimi looked on at them, and then moved her attention towards John. "Where were you last night?" She asked, amidst the high pitched sounds coming from the two brothers.</p><p>John walked over towards Mimi, exhaustion already becoming written onto his face from the tirade of questions the woman was probably going to ask. "I was with Paul last night. I stayed the night over at his place." He answered, not willing to meet the questioning eyes of his aunt.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Mimi frowned, and glanced around a bit before lowering her voice. "Is sleeping here a problem now? You stay over at McCartney's home more than you do here." She observed, a bit of hurt sheltered in her voice from the mere thought of John suddenly becoming distant of her. Especially because of some rich boy that she could actually careless about.</p><p>John gaped at her, almost in disbelief. "Mimi, that's not it. Listen if it seems like that then I'm sorry."</p><p>Mimi shook her head, and swiftly changed the subject before she heard something she didn't like from her nephew. "Well, did you ask him?"</p><p>John's blood ran cold, and he glanced behind him to see Michael and Paul basically wrestling in the living room. Sighing in relief that the two were distracted, he looked back at his aunt, whose face had already looked like she assumed the worst. "Ask him? What do you mean?" The boy acted confused, heart thrumming against his chest when Mimi glared at him.</p><p>"About the money!"</p><p>"Sh! Shut up." John aggressively spat, making Mimi look taken aback with an offended look on her face. Laughing it off after a few awkward seconds. "Listen, I didn't ask him, but—"</p><p>"Of fucking course you didn't." Mimi shook her head, stress drenching her tone of voice, so to John's terror the lady passed by him and put on a fake polite voice. "Excuse me Paul, may I ask you for a favor?"</p><p>Paul looked up from tickling his hysterical little brother, and then got up from the floor, dusting himself off. "Yeah, sure." He muttered under his breath, walking over towards the woman. Michael trotted behind him, giggling from the mercilesstickles that still coursed through him. Once he was up close to the aunt, he looked at her expectantly.</p><p>Mimi nodded, cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you could lend us a couple of—" The woman was cut off when John basically whirled her over behind him, whisking her back with his strength which almost sent her stumbling back if it wasn't for her own strength.</p><p>John was facing a confused Paul now, and as quickly as he could, he dismissed the younger with a gentle: "Just ignore her, everything is under control baby." He fake smiled at him, but then the smile faded as quick as it came once the pet name had slipped through his lips.</p><p>Michael's eyebrows raised up, and he seemed to malfunction from the way he mouthed those words in disbelief, and how his jaw had dropped. Then after a few seconds, a smile came across his face as he looked over at his just-as-shocked older brother.</p><p>Mimi's own eyes had widened, and John could feel the stare drill into the back of his head.</p><p>Okay, okay, okay. Too much shit was happening all that one second.</p><p>John looked at Michael, thinking that he was going to see a disgusted face, but instead the baby boy was excited as he could ever see him. Tugging aggressively at a frozen Paul's arm, praising him on finally getting into a relationship, and with each praise the somewhat deathly scared look on Paul's face thawed out to a relieved one.</p><p>It was understandable, his shock was understandable, Jim told Mike about Paul's condition and tried to degrade it. So imagine what he possibly tried to brainwash the young boy with when it came to him knowing that his older son swung both ways. Michael's positive reaction to basically John outing him at the moment was extremely relieving.</p><p>Paul turned his attention onto Michael, trying his best to force himself out of the frozen state he was on to answer each of the excited boy's questions.</p><p>John on the other hand was being pulled to the pantry, snacks deluding his vision for a second before his aunt pulled him down to earth again.</p><p>"John. What in fucks name is going on here?" She gritted out. To be honest, Mimi didn't care about which gender her nephew was into. Just as long as the person's personality was acceptable, but it seemed as if Paul was just — what the fuck? You're dating Jim McCartney's fucking son, the main son that he does not even want around youngest.</p><p>"I love him, that's what's going on. We're together now Mimi."</p><p>"John, do you understand what the hell you're getting yourself into? What are you DOING going out with Jim's son? The son that he doesn't even—"</p><p>"I don't give a fuck about what Jim thinks about Paul. You shouldn't either. That old fuck shouldn't influence our thoughts on Paul." John spat, making sure he put emphasis on his words about Jim, violent anger flew through his body when he thought about Jim.</p><p>"John.. imagine what he would think if he finds out that MY nephew is in a relationship with Paul. This could cost us a lot of things! Do you think before you fucking act? You may not care about what he thinks, but I do and I know he doesn't permit—" She was cut off again by her nephew, who grew angrier and angrier within each second.</p><p>"Mimi, I don't care. Paul's <em>mine</em> now. He's my boyfriend. Whatever you say, or whatever he thinks isn't going to change that. Now would you just shut the fuck up and get off of that old man's cock for once? Goddamn." John spat, his voice literally hissing with anger, and Mimi noticed. Right now he was venomously spitting out words to hurt her at this point, raging tremors shook his body.</p><p>Mimi took a breath to calm herself down first, before lifting a hand up to her nephew's tightened chest, glancing at his angry red tinted face. "I need you to calm down, before we finish this conversation, you need to calm down." She said, voice firm but more gentle than it had been before. John only got this angry a few times, and it was when he was physically going to fight someone, she seen it mostly when picking him up from school.</p><p>The cute, auburn haired little boy being so mad he was shaking, as well as some other poor student who was about to have his ass handed to him.</p><p>John knew not to hit Mimi though, he never tried to hit her, at all. Instead his words would do it for him.</p><p>So fuck - this meant that Paul really means a lot to him. John was serious about this.</p><p>"You're willing to ask Paul for money, but then turn your back on him and use Jim's thoughts against my words like I give a fuck. I don't Mimi. I don't care."</p><p>"John, I can not talk to you when you're like this. Take some deep breaths."</p><p>John obeyed, noting that he was on the verge of blacking out, so he did as he was told. Mimi watched him for a few seconds, guiding her nephew throughout the breathing exercises until the anger cooled down to just irritation.</p><p>"So obviously, I'm not going to intervene between your relationship with Paul." Mimi said after it was quiet for a couple of seconds, apart from John still trying to gather himself.</p><p>Honestly, she was feeling a bit guilty for pushing her nephew almost to the complete edge. Paul must be very sentimental to John, and even though she didn't agree with it, she had to respect that.</p><p>John hummed, and nodded his head, cutting his eyes up at his aunt from glaring at the floor.</p><p>"We can shift this conversation back to the money that we need though."</p><p>"I've got a job yesterday."</p><p>Double taking, Mimi looked at John with a shocked face. "Is that so? Where?"</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>"The cavern, you know, where irrelevant groupsperform at? I'm part of the security." John swallowed, hoping that Mimi would just take that leave with it, but of fucking course she didn't.</p><p>"The same cavern where you would go at to play your guitar?" Mimi asked, raising a brow as John nodded his head. "I thought you were banned from that place for hitting someone on the head with it."</p><p>"Well, I talked myself back in." John said, cringing at his own fake explanation, but fuck what else was he supposed to say? He fucking hated lying to his aunt, because for one, it was so fucking hard to do so and two, life was too short to lie. Especially to Mimi.</p><p>Mimi had a small smile on her face though, it made John's heart wrench, but still he managed to smile back at her. His eyes didn't meet hers, which made a small voice chant in the back of Mimi's head that something was extremely wrong, but she ignored it for now.</p><p>When the two of them departed from the room, seeing Michael and Paul going back to tussling around, Mimi cleared her throat. "Paul, may I talk to you alone for a couple of minutes?" She asked, which drew John's attention to her immediately.</p><p>"What are you—"</p><p>"A warning." Mimi answered before John could even finish his question. Knowing what that meant, John backed off and decided to bite down on his bottom lip to keep quiet. Paul walked over towards her after playfully slamming a high pitched laughing Michael onto the couch, tickling him a bit afterwards until he was called upon. </p><p>"Yes?" He asked, looking over at John briefly with a questioning look in his eyes. John had just shrugged at him, and gave the younger nervous smile before walking over towards Michael.</p><p>Mimi clicked her tongue, and gestured for Paul to follow her into the dining room. Silently following, Paul couldn't help but to feel a bit nervous as to what was happening. The last exchanges between him and Mimi were aggressive, mean and meant to ridicule one another. Now since Paul's hatred for the home has died down exponentially, he had no idea how to greet Mimi anymore since he was going out with her nephew.</p><p>Once in the dining room, the woman turned to him with her arms crossed. "So, you're dating my nephew." She brought on, raising an eyebrow up at the young man in front of her.</p><p>"Yes." Paul murmured, feeling an itch to jump out of the window and run away. He hates being interrogated by elderly people holy fucking shit.</p><p>Mimi hummed, nodding her head before speaking up again with a firm voice. "I personally don't agree with this relationship, but however, if John is happy and cares about you then that's all that matters."</p><p>'I personally don't fucking care what you think.' Was the first sentence that had birthed into Paul's head, but he somehow managed to not blurt it out. Instead he muttered a bluntly, and kind of passive aggressive: "That's nice."</p><p>Then randomly, she removed a miniature booklet from her pocket that she seems to carry everywhere without anyone noticing. Opening the booklet, Paul watched with wide eyes as she began to read read through it. "If you ever physically abuse, mentally abuse, psychologically abuse, emotionally abuse, sexually abuse, or anything of that nature towards John Winston Lennon - my respect for you will be exterminated and you will not set foot in this house again." She said, before flipping the page to the next section.</p><p>Paul's mouth popped open, his eyes widening even more as he let the words sink in. Stammering, Paul had desperately attempted to formulate the thoughts that were rampaging through his head into actual words. "I would neve—"</p><p>"If you commit adultery towards John Winston Lennon, my respect for you will be exterminated and you will not set foot in this house, nor my nephew."</p><p>This went on for about eight minutes, and by the time it was done, it would be an understatement to say that Paul was mentally exhausted. He transitioned to sitting in the dining chair with his brother on his lap, reading over the booklet curiously and John was standing in the corner of the dining room embarrassed.</p><p>"Why do you do that every time I get into a relationship?" John asked, flustered and intently embarrassed when his aunt had frowned at him.</p><p>"They need to know their place. Let me find out that somebody hurts you, trust me, they will be dealt with." Mimi firmly stated, drawing a bit of fear into Paul, but it wasn't much since the last thing Paul would do is upset John in any type of way.</p><p>John rolled his eyes at her, and began to pout. "I can handle my own relationships you know. All you do is scare people away."</p><p>Michael began to play with the booklet instead of reading it, slapping it back and forth against his fingers. "Paulie and Johnny sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love! Then comes—"</p><p>"Shut up you git." Paul giggled, squeezing at Michael's cheeks which caused the boy to laugh and drop the booklet.</p><p>Mimi stared at them, a soft look on her face when she noticed how alike Michael and Paul were. To her surprise, Paul was extremely good with children despite what Jim had said to her. It seemed as if Michael smiled more, and his face brightened heavenly when he was around his older brother. John would play fight with him and make him laugh so loud that the neighbors might've heard it, but something about Paul looked different. Close siblings, making each other feel safe, beam happy and bright - fuck what was she going to do?</p><p>Michael talked about Paul all the time when it was just him and Mimi, it doesn't even have to involve the man but Michael would just go on and on about him. It was as if Paul was his personal superhero, like the man was invincible, he truly loved his older brother and looked up to him. Like Paul was his father. To be truthful, Michael never talked about Jim to Mimi, it was like some unspoken realization that dawned between the both of them.</p><p>So she found the time to do it now. "Why don't any of you like Jim?" Mimi asked, before becoming mentally whiplashed at how quickly the laughter and cheerfulness died down.</p><p>Michael's face dropped spontaneously, and Paul looked as if he seen a ghost. John stared over at Mimi with a touch of disbelief in his expression. Waiting for an answer nonetheless, Mimi cleared her throat and placed her hands on her hips. Each passing second of silence slowly becoming frightening to her.</p><p>Well damn.</p><p>It made her wonder.. who was Jim McCartney? Was this man so powerful to have silenced three people that were talkative just a few seconds before she asked the question?</p><p>Suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. Michael had spoken up, his voice soft and a bit shaky which caused everyone's attention to draw onto him in concern.</p><p>What he had said, the first few words that he had EVER uttered about his father to me Mimi after all his weeks of living at that home, made her blood run a bit cold.</p><p>To be frank, it made everyone's blood in that dining room curdle. When he said: "He's a very bad man."</p><p>••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. out of order.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>graphic depictions of child abuse ahead - please skip it if you're feeling uncomfortable as you read on. :(<br/>—</p><p>i am not a skilled forensic investigator that can type out long details ab cases so hang on with me in this chapter 😔✌️</p><p>also birthdates are altered bc... it’s modern au &amp; i don’t have enough brain cells to make characters time travel haha 😁 okay, i’ll shut up</p><p>excuse the errors!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pete had almost choked on the gum he was chewing, jumping halfway out of his seat when the door opened abruptly. Once he saw who the hell rammed inside of the hideout, Pete felt a heavy weight crushing his chest, not even knowing whether or not he should have made Stuart call John here. Ignoring the teasing laugh that came from Stuart when he witnessed how badly the entry had spooked him, Pete turned around in his chair to look at a seething John.</p><p>"What is it?" John asked with irritation in his tone, closing the door behind him and locking it aggressively. Pete noticed that John seemed a bit ruffled as if he just got done shagging, or snogging someone, awkwardly he looked away and put his attention back onto the computer. "I was in the fucking middle of doing something." He heard the other man say to Stuart possibly.</p><p>"I don't care if you were fucking Paul. This shit is important, and to be frank, fucking Paul may be the <em>last</em> thing on your mind when you see this."</p><p>"I wasn't—"</p><p>"Don't argue with me on this."</p><p>Pete with his back turnt towards the two, assumed by John's eerie silence that his face had contorted into that cute ass confused expression. Moving his mouse around, he opened up a folder that held all the information he assumed was appropriate to use against Jim. Hospital records were mostly used.</p><p>There were some police records, surprisingly, Jim was a slick man who tried to keep himself under the radar. So that was what Pete decided to use, showing John one of the many instances that happened. Cruelly thought, this one wasn't as bad as the others he had found out.</p><p>"John, I need you to sit down." Pete had said finally, motioning his hand over to the chair that he brought in, with no help from Stuart. "Right here."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> He murmured, before looking back at his computer to prepare the report.</span></p><p>John, taken aback from how serious Pete had sounded, hesitantly obeyed and grabbed the nearby chair to push it up close to Pete. Stuart trailed his way over towards John, arms crossed and face unreadable as he stood behind the older man. From what they have found, Stuart felt as if it was appropriate to be behind John or near him.</p><p>"So what did you find?" John asked, glancing behind him to look at Stuart, and then at Pete. There was a dreaded churn of his stomach when Pete began to pull up the documents under the 'police report file for paul' that Pete had labeled, it dated all the way back to fourteen years ago.</p><p><em>Fourteen</em> years ago? What the fuck.</p><p>John remembered being eight, going on nine years old about fourteen years ago.</p><p>Pete murmured uneasily, "This is one of the first police report out of a dozen, against Jim McCartney that involves Paul." He said, as he clicked onto the forum and opened it up. The description was there, accurate, a pure copy of the actual crisis that was reported down.</p><p>John looked, eyes reading urgently at the report, studying it as his expression grew more and more terrified.</p><p>**</p><p><span class="u"><em>Case Number</em></span>:<b>85-970</b><span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span></p><p><em><span class="u">Date</span></em>: <em>8/17/2006<span class="u">Time</span>: 3:45 AM</em></p><p><em><span class="u">Address where incident occurred</span></em>: <em>66 Knightsbridge, London SW1X 7LA, United Kingdom.</em></p><p><em><span class="u">Reporting person</span></em>: <em>Lilian Garcia Reyes. </em></p><p><em><span class="u">Reporting person's address</span></em>: <em>9 Dunstan Road, Bristol, TA8</em></p><p><em><span class="u">Incident type</span></em>:<em>Suspicions of child abuse 750.136b</em></p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Victim name</span>: James Paul McCartney</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Victim age</span>: 7</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Victim sex</span>: Male</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Victim race</span>: Caucasian</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Victim DOB</span>: 6/18/1999</em>
</p><p><em><span class="u">Incident report</span>: Around 12:16 Am, sounds of screaming could be heard throughout hotel hallway on the third floor. From the mother, father and from the seven year old child. At 1:20 AM, an hour and two minutes after the noises began, a complaint was sent in to the front desk about the noises from </em>Reyes. <em>As a result, security was sent up to the room at around 1:28 AM with Reyes. </em></p><p><em>:The door was already ajar, and when security took a step in, Mary McCartney met with the two. Distraught, and tearful, Reyes described her being hysterical, pulling at both the security and Reyes'hands. Reyes said that Mary McCartney was screaming: "He's going to kill him! He's going to kill my baby!" In a maniacal manner. Whilst being said, there was</em> <em>a sound of a child screaming, a sound that Reyes tearfully described as 'the most traumatizing sound that could ever come from a child' recoiling. Security told Reyes to call the police, and stay with the mother as he went to discover what was happening.</em></p><p>
  <em>:Reyes did as told, calling 999 whilst Mary kept screaming, "He's locked in the room with my baby! That fucking monster!" over and over.Around 1:45 Am, police and backup hotel security had arrived. Reyes and Mary were found sobbing when the suspect emerged from the back room. The suspect was carrying the child who was cooperative. The child was immediately confiscated from the suspect by hotel staff. The suspect was put under arrest, he was impassive, bored looking, but responding to the wailing Mary.</em>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">
    <em>“He wouldn’t go to sleep.”</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Suspect</span>: James 'Jim' McCartney</em>
</p><p><em><span class="u">Suspect age</span></em>: <em>33</em></p><p><span class="u"><em>Suspect sex</em></span>: <em>Male</em></p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Suspect race</span>: Caucasian</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="u">Suspect DOB</span>: 7/7/1973</em>
</p><p><em><span class="u">Police Report</span>: At 3:27 AM the child was rushed to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital: Accidental and Emergency Department with Reyes and Security. On their way, the child had suddenly vomited in the backseat and began crying uncontrollably. The child was</em> <em>whimpering that the suspect hurt his head, back and neck. At 3:45 Am, arriving at the emergency room, the child was taken in immediately. He was described by nurses that he was losing consciousness because of shock. It was found that there were large handprints around the child's neck, as if he was being strangled. There was a boot mark printed into the child's backside. In X-rays, that explained the two sprained ribs. The child exclaimed that he had hit his head against the sharp edge of a table, brought on by pacing backwards from the suspect.</em></p><p>**</p><p>"The fucking rest of it was destroyed, but that's only one of them." Pete said, drawing his mouse to the arrow to go back to the other labeled files. "That's just an example of how bad it was. I don't know shit about Paul, but I'll tell you right now that no child deserves to be in that situation." He continued as the loud silence made him feel incredibly uneasy.</p><p>John sharply inhaled as if he was drowning under water, it was then that he realized just now, he was sweating profusely. Fuck, fuck, <em>fuck, fuck</em>. That was — how the fuck did he get away with that? The evidence, the screaming, Paul basically telling everyone what Jim has fucking done to him and yet he still walks free without any consequences? John felt extremely nauseous, feeling as if he was going to vomit right then and there, the wave made him clasp his hand over his mouth. Stuart placed a concerned hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gingerly as the other man trembled in the seat.</p><p><em>Paul</em>, his Paul. <em>His</em> fucking baby. Fuck. The  realization that Paul had to go through this, and it was even more eerie that he was still incredibly young. Twenty-one? Including how long that abuse went on.</p><p>Years, up to this day, and now Jim is using Michael as another tool to make Paul's life just fucking hell.</p><p>Paul's head, he made him hit his fucking head. So many times that the man has to go through seizures as a result, taking medication for possibly the rest of his life, contracting epilepsy. It was all too much.</p><p>Mary.</p><p>Mary? Oh, his poor mother. Pleading for her husband not to literally kill their fucking child. Paul's mother, crying, begging and going actually hysterical while Jim was just ruthlessly beating a seven year old kid. An actual fucking baby.</p><p>An innocent kid that did nothing wrong. Beating him to the point where he's passing out and vomiting due to shock, fucking fearing for his life.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> At such a young age.</span></p><p>Fuck. Fuck. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>John doubled over, trying his best to gather his breaths in as tears began to roll down his cheeks. Pete glanced over at him empathetically as the man sobbed, then he looked at Stuart with a knowing look in his eyes. The older nodded, and cleared his throat while he pulled John's chair back to comfort the younger man. "I know, I know. People are actually that fucking sick to put their hands on a child."</p><p>"Stuart, he fucking tried to strangle him." John spat out through the heap of tears, his body was shaking and fuck - he didn't know what was what anymore.</p><p>Paul, oh his Paul was so strong. Keeping a smile on his face, and continuing on with life as best as he could after going through what he did. Warm, welcoming and friendly to any stranger, just genuinely a gentle person. John couldn't understand how Paul could do it, if it were him that went through a childhood like that, John sure enough assumed that he would have been a serial killer.</p><p>So when John had arrived back at Paul's home that night, after sneaking into Mimi's and grasping some clothes, he had to fix himself in the hallway before he swung opened the door to his room.</p><p>Sharing words with each other, John acting as casual as he could, the older shuddered at the feeling of Paul actually moving against him. He was real, oh fuck Paul was actually fucking real. When the man squirmed against him to get comfortable, falling asleep as quickly as he had been woken up, John stared at him for half an hour.</p><p>He was holding that 'child' from that damned police report. John was holding the victim. The seven year old that went into shock at the hospital, the seven year old that was almost strangled to death if it weren't for Reyes and the security. God bless them.</p><p>John drew in a wet breath, before exhaling shakily as he ran his hands through the younger's hair. "Fuck baby, I'm so sorry." He whispered, knowing Paul wouldn't hear him, but he still hoped that he could. John sniffled a bit, continuing to whisper a tirade of trembling: "I'm sorry's" until he lost his voice. John truly was sorry, sorry for everything that Paul had to go through.</p><p>Everyone <em>failed</em> him.</p><p>Someone needed to be fucking sorry for once.</p><p>•••</p><p>— <span class="u">Present day.</span></p><p>"I love you."</p><p>That caught Paul completely off guard, it made him look over towards John in disbelief, he felt as if he heard him wrong. "What?"</p><p>"I love you." John softly repeated, continuing his driving and keeping his eyes on the road. To be honest, he didn't really care if Paul had to argue against that, say that it's a little too early for such a passionate declaration. John had just felt as if he needed to say it, that Paul needed to hear it.</p><p>Paul blushed a crimson red, and looked away as he mumbled a shy but audible: "I love you too."</p><p>John smiled on the inside when he heard those words come out of Paul's mouth, although it was meek sounding, he knew it was genuine. Right now, the man was taking a route to Strawberry Fields since they had left from Michael and Mimi's shortly. The question that Mimi uttered about Jim had sent him way back to the situation he was in yesterday, and it almost made him go ballistic.</p><p>Thinking of Jim makes his brain flick on some type of murderous anger, he hated that man with his soul.</p><p>Even right now, with a tightened grip on the steering wheel, John was beginning to shake with this brewing anger. Should he ask Paul what hospital his father is in? That didn't seem like a bad idea to do it. Of course Paul would ask 'why' and John would have to find a good excuse as to why. If Paul buys it, then what would John do? Go up to the hospital, punch in his name and shit, convince the receptionist that he is a relative or something close to it. Then once he was cleared, maybeJohn could just grab a pillow and press it against Jim's face, watch the old fuck struggle against him, suffocating —</p><p>"John, what's wrong?" Paul had asked, breaking John out of his thoughts. There was concern in his voice as he noticed how hard John was gripping the steering wheel. His knuckles began to become more prominent, more pale and his jaw was clenched angrily. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm fine, I was just thinking of um work tonight."</p><p>Paul pouted, "You have to go at night? But that's when we cuddle the most." He whined, making John laugh aloud in a soft cackling voice.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm sorry baby. I'll be back by morning though." John said, looking over at Paul's cute face which was still wearing on a stubborn frown.</p><p>Suddenly, Paul's eyes lit up with an idea that made John's stomach churn even before he could grasp onto it. "Why don't you take me with you? When we left Mimi mentioned that you work at the cavern now." Paul suggested, looking at John with a look in his eyes that made it ten times harder for John to reject his idea.</p><p>"No, Paul, I can't." John had quickly said with some type of closing panic in his voice, wincing when that priceless smile disappeared almost immediately from Paul's face.</p><p>"Why not Johnny?"</p><p>John made some type of duck noise as he turned the wheel about, making a right turn into an isolated street that led up the hill to Strawberry Fields. Paul waited patiently for answer, drinking in the comedic duck noises John made as he turned the corner. Finally, once he was back on a rhythmic road, John answered with a crisped lie. "Can't bend the rules yet on the first day. Plus, the manager doesn't want any romantic distractions or whatever the fuck that means."</p><p>"Ooh," Paul replied innocently, drawing his mouth in a childishly cute 'O' shape. "Well, whenever you do bend the rules, don't hesitate to invite me."</p><p>John cleared his throat, feeling a bit antsy when he retraced the conversation in his head again. Quietly, he began pulling up onto the hill and rolling the car wheels up against the grass. "Of course baby."</p><p>Paul smiled, and then looked around with an excited expression on his face. "Fuck, I love it here." He said, pressing his palm against the window to look at the palm print that was left against it. John stared at his younger boyfriend, paying attention to everything that he did, even when it was mostly due because Paul didn't have a phone with him. Still, he was impressed by his surroundings and John loved it.</p><p>"I can't wait to see what it's like going here in the summer, I just know that it's going to be beautiful. Right Johnny?" Paul asked, meeting John's eye as he expected his response with the same enthusiasm.</p><p>"Right baby." John replied, a smile on his face as he studied Paul's smiley demeanor. The younger's been in a good mood ever since he had seen his little brother earlier on in their outing, he was smiling more and giggling at everything John said throughout their drive to this destination. </p><p>"Stop looking at me like that." Paul blushed, but John didn't back down, continuing to gaze at the beautiful man as if he was an art piece. He is.</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes playfully. "Like I'm worth being looked at. I can't be that good looking for you to just sit there and stare at me this whole time."</p><p>"You are worth being looked at, and so much more. Do you not understand how fucking beautiful you are?"</p><p>Paul opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say to that question.  Hell, he didn't even know if he could have answered it anyway. Quickly he was becoming flustered looking away in literal embarrassment. "When are you going to stop with that, you know?" He asked, even though butterflies were fluttering in his stomach once those words had sinked in.</p><p>"When are you going to realize that?" John retorted, before bringing his hand up to Paul's face. For some reason, he wanted to be gentle with him, as if he was going to break. At the same time he wasn't sure if Paul would take offense to that, it was confusing.</p><p>Paul let his lashes flutter when John's thumb caressed his cheek. "There's nothing for me to realize." He said, as he looked at John who only gaped at him in genuine disbelief.</p><p>Before Paul could make out anything else, he was pleasantly surprised.</p><p>John suddenly leaned forward, and kissed those words off of Paul's lips, catching the younger off guard since he gasped lightly into the kiss. Paul let his eyes blink from shock, and soon enough it converted to a slow fluttering of his lashes all the way until his eyes had finally closed. Cheeks growing red, and heart speeding up when he felt John massage at his cheek, bringing that hand to his neck. Pulling away gently after a few seconds of their lips moving together, John let his eyes drown into Paul's. "One way to shut you up when you start talking like that." He muttered, his breath puffing softly against Paul's still slightly parted lips.</p><p>"You're so mean." Paul replied softly, biting down on his bottom lip as he let those natural bedroom eyes study John's face.</p><p>"You always say that." John retorted, trying his best not to go feral from the unintentionally seducing look on Paul's face.</p><p>"Because it's true."</p><p>John had kissed his plump lips again, over and over, the erotic sounds of their lips colliding with each other echoing in the car. It was driving both of them mad. "Your lips Paul, fuck, I can kiss them all day if you'd let me." The older had said, voice full of gravel as he leaned back in for a couple of kisses.</p><p>Paul let John kiss him, he soon had learned to love the feeling of John taking control of a kiss. Using Paul's lips to satisfy an obvious sexual frustration that Paul knew was there, but held off to act on it. Every time John went in for a kiss he closed his eyes, and when he knew the older pulled away, they fluttered back open just to drive him in again. John soon had stopped the butterfly kisses, and just full on began to fuck his tongue into Paul's mouth.</p><p>Clenching his hands when he felt John's tongue brushing over his, Paul raised a hand up and grasped at the older's collar to ground himself.</p><p>Shifting away, John had gently cupped Paul's face into both of his hands to map his eyes over the beautiful face. "Wow, you're really mine." The way Paul blushed furiously at that made John smile, leaning into press gentle kisses all over the younger man's face. "Look at you, <em>my</em> fucking baby."</p><p><em>Fuck</em> that was — so, wholesome.</p><p>Shit, it made him feel extremely good inside. The way John continued to literally just drool over him, praise him, just uplift every negative thought that had made its way into Paul's head from the last few hours. "So beautiful, so smart, holy shit and you're all mine. I can't even describe how lucky I am to have such a cute little kitten in my life." The older said, running a hand through Paul's hair, and keeping the other on his face to caress his cheek.</p><p>Paul felt his heart begin to burst from the amount of butterfly like flutters that flooded his insides, and the beaming smile that came across his face made his cheeks burn a bit. "You're such a dork."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> He murmured shyly.</span></p><p>"The dork to an actual fucking angel."</p><p>Paul brainwashed, and mentally abused mind had unfortunately grappled onto the toxic possibility that John was possibly lying to his face. Like, literally. However he didn't act on it, continuing to have the older man mush his cheeks together.</p><p>••</p><p>"Here baby." John said, removing several sweatshirts from his closet and handing it over to the younger man sitting languidly on his bed. They came back to Mimi's place since they had no exact plans to go out and do anything, plus it was a bit cold out with the fall weather beginning to kick in.</p><p>Paul grasped at the hoodies eagerly, making a soft sound of surprise when they all tumbled into his arms. "Fucking yes." He exhaled, holding them close to his chest which made John cackle, a soft blush tinted on his cheeks.</p><p>"You know, I could just buy you some."</p><p>"No, I like wearing yours." Paul whined, looking up at John with glassy eyes that made the older's chest warm up. Fuck, how the hell does he do that?</p><p>"You're so cute." John chuckled, leaning down to kiss at Paul's cheek, making the younger man blush from the action. "Gosh, you're getting so flustered today. Almost with every compliment."</p><p>"That's not my fault." Paul said, as he glared at John making the older snicker. "Your stupid pet names, and kisses started it."</p><p>"You love it, stop being a brat."</p><p>Paul clutched onto the hoodies, and grew significantly quiet for a couple of seconds. It was as if he was thinking about something, intently thinking actually. John was going to ask him if he was okay until Paul had spoken up in a soft voice. "I was so mean to you back then, but you still decided to help me out. Sometimes, I feel as if I never really made my rudeness up to you, and it makes me feel bad because you do so much for me."</p><p>John blinked, and then he grew out of his own silence when the younger man looked up at him. "You did make it up, and to be honest, I understand. All you know is that your dad sent Michael to us, I'd be mad too. You don't need to make anything up."</p><p>Paul frowned, "But—"</p><p>"Paul, you being my boyfriend is enough." John said, and that was what made Paul break out into a red tomato like blush, burying his face into the bunch of hoodies to hide the smile that formed.</p><p>John sat down on the bed, and wrapped his arms around Paul, pulling the fanboying man against his chest.</p><p>Fuck this is exactly what he needed. What both of them had needed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. don.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mentions of drugs &amp; sexual assault are in this chap :/ <br/>excuse the errors.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John had woken up with Paul's head rested on his chest, back drifting up and down with slow breaths as he slept. To be honest, John didn't even know that he fell asleep - it kind of terrified him that he went to sleep so suddenly. Blinking himself awake, John groaned and drew the hand that wasn't resting on Paul's waist, up to his eyes. Paul coincidentally clutched onto John tighter when he sensed the movement of the older man through his sleep,</p><p>John yawned, pulling out his phone to check at the time. Lucky for him, it was around four in the afternoon, that was good. He still had time left before going to 'work' if he wanted to call it that. Running his other hand up and down Paul's side, he couldn't help but to sit up a bit on his elbow, looking down at the sleeping younger man.</p><p>Paul looked so cute.</p><p>Shifting to his side so that Paul had gently rolled off of him, John had moved Paul's arms off of him and replaced his own body with one of his pillows. Paul took the bait and snuggled against the pillow, clutching it gently in his hands. Exhaling, John tried his best not to just ball Paul all the way up in blankets, kissing his face until he had woken up. Just  all out pouring his affection onto the younger.</p><p>John sat beside Paul, running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, wanting to nurture him.</p><p>Fuck, he loved him so much.</p><p>Leaning down quietly, John had gently pressed his lips against Paul's soft cheek. He rested there for a couple of seconds until Paul began to rustle, noticing the warm breaths puffing against his face and growing restless from it. Pulling away from Paul, who settled quickly when the heat of someone else breathing on his face decreased, John had then stood up and rubbed at his stomach which was growling a bit.</p><p>Closing the door to his room to let Paul sleep, John ventured out towards the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes on the way there. Walking into the area, he noticed a note on the refrigerator that had to be written by his aunt.</p><p>'Out of town for the next three days with Michael. Make sure bills are paid, house is cleaned, and food is secure. Love Mimi xx"</p><p>John rolled his eyes, could she not be anymore old fashioned? This could have been easily texted to him, there was no reason why she had to leave a note there. But holy shit, Mimi was gone with Michael for the next three days, and that news couldn't be any better since it gave him much more cover with his job. The downside is that Paul might not like this new discovery, and it may upset him for a bit, but John would help him through it of course.</p><p>John had no idea Mimi was going to up and disappear, so suddenly too. It made him think back to when Michael uttered those words about his father, and how taken aback Mimi had seemed about it. So it could be likely that Mimi took Michael out for a possible interrogation trip to get to know the boy's relationship with Jim.</p><p>That could either be a good or bad thing, there was no middle to it.</p><p>Opening the refrigerator and looking at the half empty fridge, John glared at the lack of food there was before shutting the door. Fuck. What was he going to do now? Maybe there was a way he could knick something at the store, but that would be too risky for him since he was feeling low energy.</p><p>John looked into the cabinets, searching for anything that he wasn't going to throw up eating. The man didn't even realize that Paul had emerged from the room, holding onto John's pillow still, and rubbing at his eyes sleepily. As soon as he noticed that John was no longer in bed with him, he forced himself to wake up since he found it rude for him to sleep in another person's home without permission. At the same time, it wasn't Paul's fault that John's broad chest felt so fucking comfortable.</p><p>Paul looked around, and then looked at the note on the refrigerator as John began to throw different cans of beans from the cabinet. Paul observed the note, reading it quietly to himself before glancing away with a solid looking expression on his face.</p><p>Well then. What exactly is he supposed to do with this information? Michael is gone for the next three days with Mimi, and he didn't even know the motive behind it. That was terrifying. Abruptly, he gritted out a panicked. "Where is Michael?"</p><p>John jumped, scared from the sudden voice that came from behind him. "Fuck!" He shouted before placing a hand on his chest, looking over at Paul with widened eyes. Paul flinched from the shout, but the look on his face remained firm despite the tremor that ran through his body. John sighed at his own actions, specifically when he noticed the flinching jolt in Paul's body, "I'm sorry baby. You just scared me a little bit. Mimi took Michael on a trip to ask him some questions about Jim I believe."</p><p>"What? Is it because of what Michael said?" Paul asked, his facial expression softening which caused John to sigh again in relief.</p><p>"Most likely, it's kind of a good thing since it may drive her away from Jim." John had said basing his words off of his own assumptions. To be honest, he had no idea what was going to happen after the interrogation trip. However Paul bought in to what John had said, and it planted a smile of hope on his face.</p><p>"What are you doing?" The raven haired man asked, looking at the cans rolling pathetically on the floor. Walking over towards John and basically draped himself against the older's backside, he stared at whatever John was eyeing, watching curiously as he emptied out the cabinet.</p><p>"Looking for something good to snack on." John had replied, before ultimately finding what he was looking for. Paul hummed softly, running his hands up John's abdomen to feel against his toned clothed stomach.</p><p>John chuckled under his breath, and ignored the feeling of heat rushing into his body when Paul began to kiss suggestively at the back of his neck. What the hell was he going to do with this man? Every time he let his guard down, Paul would end up working his magic and make John fall apart just from a few kisses in the right places. Touching and feeling John up as if he didn't know any better.</p><p>"Cornflakes." John mumbled, pulling out the half empty box of cornflakes before backing up gently. Paul unlatched himself from the older, and began trailing behind John as the older went to grab at a bowl.</p><p>Paul watched, and then made his way to the refrigerator to quietly remove the almond milk, holding it out to John. When the older turned around to get the milk, he smiled and took it from Paul, pulling him forward to peck at his lips as a 'thank you' which made Paul stifle a giggle into the quick kiss. John had then moved back to the bowl of cereal, sprinkling a decent amount of sugar on top, and then following up with the almond milk.</p><p>When John turned around to grab a spoon, Paul was already holding it out with a smile. Kissing him again, John took the spoon and rushed to the dining room holding the bowl in his hand, with Paul following behind him. As he took a seat, beginning to dive into the cereal, Paul sat down beside him and traced the lines of the table gently.</p><p>John looked over at Paul, and then realization suddenly had struck him. He almost choked when he reached over and grasped Paul's hand, grabbing at his attention. John panicking, stammering out: "I'm sorry, are you hungry? I'm an ass for not offering you anything to eat, I was just—"</p><p>"No, you're okay. I'll wait until I get home to eat."</p><p>John, stubborn as ever, had shook his head. Motherly moving the bowl of cereal over towards Paul for him to gobble up the rest. "Here, have it. I'll just find something else to eat, okay? I know you're hungry because you've gotten quiet while I fixed something to eat." He said, the finality in his voice basically shutting down any room for Paul to argue.</p><p>Sighing, and rolling his eyes, Paul picked up the spoon, beginning to eat the cereal. What made him sulk is that John was actually right about him being hungry, and it kind of embarrassed him when he realized that he was actually gobbling the cereal up as if he hadn't ate in years. John on the other hand, smiled and ruffled at Paul's hair which caused the younger to swat at him with his right hand.</p><p>With his right hand?</p><p>Wait.</p><p>"You're left handed?" John gawked, watching as the younger man gripped the spoon with his left hand. Wow, what the hell? He never seen anybody eat with their left hand before. It looked so different, and weird, but in a good way. It was unique.</p><p>Slurping the milk up, pulling the spoon from his mouth and then licking the white substance up from the corner of his lips with his tongue - oh fuck - Paul looked at John questionably. "Yeah, you're just now noticing?" He asked, before sputtering out a laugh at the cutely shocked expression on John's face.</p><p>"You surprise me every day. How do you even do that? I can't use my left hand to save my life."</p><p>Paul scoffed, and grabbed at John's left hand pulling it towards him. "It's easy, look." He said, whilst making John's fingers grip onto the spoon the same way that he had did. John couldn't help but to blush, staring bashfully at the way Paul's hands were smaller than his, the man couldn't even wrap his hand around John's full wrist. It was so adorable.</p><p>"I feel like I might drop it." John said, letting Paul guide his left hand into the half empty bowl of cereal. Paul watched amused as he helped the older man lifted the spoon up from the milk with a shaky hand, he huffed up a laugh as John let the shaking spoon enter his mouth weirdly.</p><p>"It's not even that hard, you have to act like you're using your dominant hand." Paul had teased, releasing John's hand and placing both of his hands on his lap. "You're using the left part of your brain when you write, eat and brush your teeth. I'm using my right when I do the same."</p><p>"So smart." John replied lowly, before shifting the spoon back and forth with each hand, his eyes curiously moving back and forth as well, following the movement of the spoon. "Isn't being left handed looked down upon? Or am I just remembering the wrong things?"</p><p>Paul nodded, blushing at the compliment. "Yes, it was back then. Some weirdos traced it all the way back to witchcraft, isn't that strange? To this day it's kind of still used. Like in math kind of." The younger rambled on, and John was in love with it, he loved listening to Paul talk about things as little as dominant hands. "For example a negative number, usually when you're plotting on a chart, the negative numbers make you plot to the left. The left is always seem as kind of like the negative."</p><p>Suddenly becoming quiet, Paul seemed to blush when he realized that John was staring at him fondly. "Was I talking too much? It's not that serious, I know— you're just wonder if I was left handed and now I'm fucking rambling off about stupid algebra or something."</p><p>John had frowned when he realized that Paul was caving in on himself, so he immediately grasped at his two hands to bring him back down. "No, no baby. You're fine." And it was true, Paul wasn't boring him or anything. Fuck, this could be another result from him dealing with Jim's stupid ass. Paul would most likely explain something passionately to him, and his father would probably make him feel like shit for explaining too much. "I love listening to you talk, you're voice is so lovely, sounds like a singer's voice."</p><p>Paul blushed, and he looked away from John to look back at the bowl of cereal. "You just say anything to get a reaction out of me, do you?" He asked, feeling flustered when John began to laugh lightly at that.</p><p>"It's the truth though. Look at me."</p><p>And Paul looked, his face holding a small smile that John would love to see everyday. There was a twinkle in his eyes, pure affection, and John knew that those words had meant a lot to Paul. Even though the younger man didn't want to voice it out. Just from looking into Paul's eyes, John could tell that he was going to hold those words close to his heart, and it made something warm flood through John.</p><p>"Aren't you going to continue doll?" John asked, blushing a bit from the affectionate stare.</p><p>"I don't want to talk anymore." Paul had mumbled with a specific voice that made chills run through John's spine. Catching the older off guard, Paul took onto leaning forward and smothering John in a passionate kiss, clutching at his shirt to pull the older closer to him.</p><p>Holy fuck.</p><p>John reciprocated the kiss, immediately reaching out to hold Paul's waist. However Paul basically forced John's chair back as he mounted onto his lap, hands removing their grip from his shirt to run up to the auburn hair. Well fuck - those words must've really struck a nerve in Paul for him to suddenly attack John's lips as if there was no tomorrow. This reminded John of earlier when Paul was tracing kisses against his neck whilst he was looking for food, and if complimenting Paul had triggered the continuation for it, then he had welcomed it with opened arms.</p><p>"I love you." Paul whispered into the kiss, moving his hands to caress John's jaw as he dived into pepper kisses against his cheek and the corner of his lips.</p><p>John mumbled a disheveled, "I love you more." The voice he used was gravelly, heavy with arousal as Paul trailed those same needy kisses to his neck and — fuck were the sounds of his breaths puffing against his skin hot as shit.</p><p>Paul made John jolt when he bit down on his earlobe, then fucking suckling. The breathy moan that came from John made him withdraw from the older man with an evil laugh that filled the house. John stared at him, trying to regather himself speedily from what Paul had just pulled. 'He wants to play like that? Alright.' John had thought, a smirk forming onto his face before suddenly hoisting the younger man up in his arms, causing Paul to release a surprise gasp through his giggles.</p><p>John had then basically knocked everything off of the dinner table, not giving a fuck about what the consequences would be when Mimi finds out that John might've broken her favorite bowl, and other things. Just the risky thought only made things hotter for him. As well as Paul, who looked at John deviously as he continued his giggling, especially when he heard the sound of the things spilling from the table.</p><p>John had Paul down onto the table, laying him on his back, diving down to muffle his laughter with his own lips. "Mmf," Paul hiccuped into the kiss, before throwing his legs around John's waist as they made out passionately - just one shy, somewhat dangerously close step away from full on fucking each other in the dining room.</p><p>•••</p><p>"You're fucking late. If you want to do this, then one thing you can't do is be late. It'll just extend how long we'll have to be." Stuart had spat when John had finally came up to view, out of breath and cheeks flushed from the coldness of the night.  Stuart pushed himself off of the brick platform of the convenience store. He was incredibly annoyed from the amount of times he had to tell off the cashier/manager to leave him the hell alone after being accused several times for loitering.</p><p>"What took you so long?"</p><p>"Don't worry about it, let's just go." John had replied swiftly, a blush spreading into his cheeks clearing his throat as he shoved his hands into his pockets.</p><p>Stuart glared at him for a few seconds, before crossing his arms together over his chest. "Where'd you park your car?" He asked with a lowered voice, as he began to walk forward into the with John following along side with him.</p><p>"Well uh- I kind of walked here. Mimi has the car for the next three days."</p><p>"Your boyfriend couldn't drive you here?" Stuart asked, knowing that it would get under John's skin, but John had gotten under his skin for having wait half an hour.</p><p>"Shut up." John spat, feeling annoyed whenever Stuart would mention Paul in a condescending way, but at the same time it seemed as if Paul would do the same thing. There was this weird tension between the two of them, even when they're not physically together and it made John uncomfortable.</p><p>Last thing he needs is the two closest people in his life to hate each other. Fuck. To be honest, John wasn't even sure if Stuart was literal with his dislike towards Paul, it all seemed as if he was just a mean older brother that just bothers him. Paul on the other hand.. it seemed like a different situation.</p><p>"Does Paul even know what you're doing?" Stuart asked, turning the corner into a dark alleyway that only had one strand of light guiding their vision. John, didn't really have much of a vision, so Stuart had to reach out and grasp his forearm to lead him into the alley.</p><p>"No." John's voice had echoed into the alley, but he didn't find anything eerie with that. Or potentially dangerous. "He doesn't. I don't want him to know, not even Mimi."</p><p>Stuart narrowed his eyes for a couple of seconds as he stared ahead, but nodded quietly. 'So Paul is still out of the loop. There is hope after all.' The older thought to himself, before heading to a stop at the other side of the alley which led to a busy street. Businesses, stores, restaurants and stores lighting up the road, the night, John's mood. "I remember this place. My mom used to take me here when I was about Michael's age." The younger exclaimed, looking around somewhat excitedly.</p><p>'Ah, that Michael kid.' Stuart had thought to himself again, he was close to asking who the hell Michael was until something clicked on his head. Throughout their time standing there and observing which restaurant they should go to, Stuart removed his hands from his pockets and stepped closer to John.</p><p>"Hold your hand out."</p><p>John had did so, and Stuart had basically clasped their hands together as if they were doing a handshake. Feeling substances as a capsule of pills pouring into his palm, and running down his sleeve, John couldn't help but to gasp a bit. Holy shit, this was actually fucking happening. Stuart pulled him in close, winging his other hand around John's torso to pat his fist against his back, it was as if they were doing some type of bro-hug.</p><p>"When someone comes up to you, act like you're giving them a hug like we are, but place the pills into their hand or let it run down their sleeves at the same time." Stuart whispered the information into his ear, and John couldn't help but to feel his heart speed up exponentially faster.</p><p>"What about the money?" John had whispered back, and the carefulness in his voice made Stuart chuckle a bit.</p><p>"They'll slide it into your back pocket. Sometimes they'll slap your ass, but that's just a thank you so don't worry your cute little head about it."</p><p>John blushed, and playfully shoved Stuart away as he put the drugs into his pocket. "How will I know which drugs they want?" He whispered, looking around at the different people passing by them, some were old and young, women, men.</p><p>"John, this is pill town. Most of these drugs go way harder than cocaine and the well known ones." Stuart had said, before carefully showing John a small bag of the powerful white powdery substance. John looked at it, and then felt his stomach churn in disgust. How could people snort that shit up their fucking nose? That's psychotic.  "I'll take you to the area where cocaine is the main course though. So don't worry. We'll be out here all night."</p><p>"All night? Wha—" John was cut off when a burly, tall, muscular, but suited up man with his hair greased back came up to him. Hand out, smirk on his face, and crazed eyes as he ran his tongue along his lips. It seemed as if he wanted John more than the actual fucking drugs, because holy shit.</p><p>Stuart smiled at the customer, and clasped his hand over John's shoulder since he could see that the younger was shaking. "Hey Don, my favorite customer. I would like to introduce you to my best friend here, John Lennon. He's new to this, so don't scare him off you nutter."</p><p>John trembled, trying to draw in a breath. He was literally being eye-fucked.</p><p>"Pretty face." Don replied, aggressively checking John out which made Stuart grip the younger man tighter into his arms. Yeah, this was going to be a relatively long night, but John was not going to opt out.</p><p>"He's taken Don, by an even prettier man."</p><p>John seemed to have unfrozen himself, jerking his elbow hard into Stuart's ribs. The older winced with a pained laugh, still clutching onto John as the younger clasped his hands together with Don, he let the drugs nestle into the rough palm of the stranger's hand. Stuart let Don pull John in for the same hug he ministrated on John earlier, but to his disadvantage Don embraced John instead.</p><p>John rolled his eyes when the bigger man mumbled: "You smell good." Into his ear, but then his eyes began to bulge in immediate discomfort when Don ran a hand down his back to his fucking ass, resting his large palm over it.</p><p>When Stuart noticed that John's breath began to quicken in panic, he slapped harshly at Don's arm.</p><p>"Come off of it Don, leave the kid alone." Stuart said, his voice sharper than it had ever been when it came to Don. He really didn't have time for this. Stuart felt his own anxiety begin to mount when the bigger man chuckled under his breath, removing his hand to dig into his pocket.</p><p>John was still locked up in the so called "hug" and it was driving him insane. Hopefully, this wasn't a relative customer because he definitely did not want to see this huge pervert again. What the fuck. Don hummed as he slid a crisp band of money into John's back pocket, before purposely squeezing his ass cheek. It caused the smaller man to shove Don off of him, faking a smile even though adrenaline of fear rushed through him. "Nice meeting you." He gritted out, watching angrily as Don smiled at him as he walked away with his newly equipped stash.</p><p>"John, I-" Stuart began with a soft voice, but the younger had just shook his head.</p><p>"Don't. I'm fine. This is not going to change my mind about anything, so don't even say it."</p><p>Stuart frowned, and immediately tried to explain what he was about to say. "No, I wasn't going to say that. Especially at a time like this. That's just ignorant. I just wanted to say that I didn't know he was going to grope you like that. If I did, I would have given him the stuff. Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes, I'm fine Stuart." John replied, but he wasn't meeting his best friend's eye.</p><p>"No, John. Are you okay?" Stuart said, more firmer this time as he basically forced the other man to face him. "I need to know if you're okay. If you feel alright. Fuck, I didn't— I didn't want you to be violated like that."</p><p>"Stuart, I said I'm okay. You were there, if you weren't it probably would've been worse. I'm alright." John said, and his voice was genuine despite the paleness to his face that still seemed to wash over him.</p><p>Fuck, this is exactly what Stuart feared.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. don’t kill the messenger.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the wait lmfaoo i live in north america &amp; it’s been a little...wild here.. so i’ve been distracted </p><p>plus i’m working on this other mclennon concept but i cant spill any info about it 😁</p><p>excuse errors!! <br/>also NSFW warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To John, fall is the most boring seasons out of the four. All he sees is the color brown, and a warm orange which is very off putting to him. Dark green suits the world better in his eyes, he loves the color of dark green, partially white - but dark green takes the cake. Brown, red and orange? Fall colors? He hated it. There was just something about it that made him irritated beyond comprehension.</p><p>It was probably just birthday blues, nothing else really bothers him after that. Everything seemed to morph together, into a bundle of unimportance.</p><p>Waiting for Stuart to emerge from his dealings nearby a rural area around the morning, John couldn't help but to analyze the fall weather before him. Much to his disliking. Luckily he didn't have any supplies on him, John hadn't need to sell anything right about now. Plus it already risky to sell in broad daylight, early morning, and especially since Paul was with him. It wasn't the plan, but the man was there, standing right next to him with his wide eyes looking around the area.</p><p>Not a sign of disgust on his face when it was obvious that place this wasn't exactly the suburbs. John was at so much peace with Paul's humbleness, glad that he wasn't one of those rich pansy's who looked down at environments that does not live up to the wealthy standards.</p><p>Suddenly the hood he had on was gently pulled off, and he felt a gentle kiss prod at his cheek. Knowing that it was Paul that leaned up to kiss at his cheek, the feeling of it immediately brung him back to reality. Blinking a couple of times as a cool blush had spread, the older looked at Paul who was smiling innocently at him. "Baby?"</p><p>"You were zoning out." Paul had told him, clasping his hands together behind his back. John blinked again before humming, pulling his hood up and over his head again. "What are you thinking about hm? Why're you so quiet this morning?" Paul couldn't help but to ask, looking up at John expectantly.</p><p>"Nothing, I'm just tired." John replied, and truthfully, he was. Staying out all last night with Stuart, feeling as if he just climbed out of a never-ending roller coaster after that Don guy touched him up, unashamed. When John had gracefully arrived at Paul's home afterwards, he wordlessly got into bed with him and forced himself to sleep off whatever the fuck just happened.</p><p>Paul pouted, but then the expression faded into a more concerned look, tilting his head as he studied John's face. Something felt wrong when he noticed how curt John's facial expression was, how tense the older had been, seemingly looking around as if he was being watched. "No, seriously, you haven't said a word to me when you got home. Barely said anything this morning either. Are you okay?"</p><p>John felt as if he was being suffocated by several different things. To the police reports, the events of last night, lying to Paul about his job, and the feeling of tiredness made him numb all over. Not to mention the upcoming birthday blues. Lifting a trembling hand up to his face, covering half of it as he tried to catch his breath, John managed out a strained: "No, I'm not okay."</p><p>Paul released a breath, stepping forward, closer to John and driving his arms around the older's neck to pull him into a hug. "C'mere then love. It's going to be okay, everything's going to be fine."</p><p>John accepted the hug gracefully, pulling Paul impossibly close to his own shivering body. Burying his face into Paul's hair, clinging onto him as if his life depended on it, John did feel a bit of tranquility wash over him. Especially when Paul tugged his hood down to therapeutically rake his fingers through the not-brushed-but-messily-attractive auburn hair. Fuck, John could cry, but he didn't want to and to be frank, he didn't find it necessary.</p><p>John would feel selfish crying over the smallest issues compared to Paul's. Then again, Paul's issues was one of his issues at the same time, and so that would qualify his crying right?</p><p>Embracing each other in public, on the verge of letting tears escape from Paul's motherly comfort that reminded him a little bit of his own mother. Crap. So basically, he pulled himself away from Paul and rubbed aggressively at his eyes before he could let a tear escape. </p><p>"John?" Paul frowned, his perfect eyebrows furrowing a bit. "Are you crying?"</p><p>The defensiveness, unfortunately, had basically snarled out first before John could stop himself. "No. I'm not." He spat, whisking his hand away from his teary eyes.</p><p>Not missing the way that Paul had flinched from the unusually gritted growl, John sunk into a bile inducing feeling of guilt. He found himself immediately apologizing to the younger who was just staring at him as if he was crazy. "Fuck. I'm sorry baby, I just— I didn't mean to snap at you like that. Last night was just rough." He stammered, grabbing at both of Paul's hands while he tried to make out his words as clear as he possibly could.</p><p>"It's okay." Paul had gently replied, even though he wasn't meeting John's eyes. It made the older panic, his anxiety flaring up exponentially, more flared up than it already had been.</p><p>"Seriously, baby, look at me. I'm sorry."</p><p>Paul did look at him, and from the softness of his eyes, John could tell that all was forgiven. Though the anxiousness was telling him otherwise, even when Paul parted his lips, saying something. "John, it's fine love, I don't care. You're okay. Now can you please calm down before you have an anxiety attack?"</p><p>"What? Oh." John had just realized how on edge he had been. Yeah, he really did need to calm down. What the fuck was his problem? Snapping at his boyfriend? Just for a simple question? The last thing he wanted to do is go off on Paul, and even if the younger already forgave him, this was going to eat him up for days.</p><p>"Okay, I'm back." Stuart said, his eyes slightly red from possibly smoking. When he met John's own widened eyes, and trembling figure he clicked his tongue. "Still bothered I see."</p><p>Paul furrowed his eyebrows in confusion of what that could have possibly meant. John on the other hand had only glared at Stuart to shut the fuck up. Stuart matched the glowering, letting his own piercing eyes do the psychological talking until Paul had been the one to break the ice. "Why are you two staring at each other like that?" He asked, innocent.</p><p>"No reason." John grumbled, subconsciously slinging an arm around Paul's waist to pull him close to his body. "Are you ready to go Stuart?"</p><p>"Go where?"</p><p>"The mall, dumbass."</p><p>••</p><p>"What are you doing?" Paul gasped when his back pressed against the stall of a public bathroom, John's hands on his shoulders and his body was basically pressing into the younger's. The circumstances to this sudden position could be simply explained, but it'd be deemed as idiotic, it didn't really matter though.</p><p>John thought he had seen Don when he and Paul entered the men's bathroom together, or maybe it was his mind playing games with him. If Don was in this bathroom, he didn't want to risk the chance of Paul being by himself with that big ass man, even though there was no clue hinted to Don that they were connected. Still, if Don could go after him, then Paul would be an easier advantage. "John?" Paul's voice, which was not lowered into a whisper made John grumble. Turning his head, and tilting Paul's chin up, he abruptly interlocked their lips to temporarily shut the younger up.</p><p>Stiffening at the sudden kiss, Paul's eyes had widened more than they already were. Quickly his hands moved up to grip John's forearm, not to push him off per-say, it was mostly to make sure that he was aware of what was happening. What was John's move? Why was this exciting? And — fuck why did John's lips feel so good against his, holy shit. The way John was kissing him was a bit overwhelming, rough, in a hurry as if Paul was going to melt if he didn't kiss him enough.</p><p>John was half gone kissing Paul, and half listening to the sounds of voices, trying to make them out desperately. It did sound like Don, and fuck it probably was. Stuart was waiting for the two men outside, and all that realization was going to do was make things even worse. What now?</p><p>Pulling away from Paul, John cracked the stall door opened a bit as the younger man tried to catch his breath. "Fuck, where is he?" John had mumbled under his breath, but unfortunately Paul had caught onto it.</p><p>"John, what's going on? What are you doing?"</p><p>Whipping his head back, fast enough to break his own neck, John raised his hand up to caress Paul's cheek. His thumb rested on Paul's bottom lip, purposely wanting to distract him. "Baby, I need you to be quiet. Okay?" John had requested, and the wavering in his voice that resembled fear made Paul frown, feeling uncomfortable. "Okay but—" Paul gasped, his breath hitching as the older man' leg pressed up in between his own. That was when his mind went foggy, and an electric current shot through his body. A realization had then birthed into Paul's head.</p><p>Holy shit they were about to do this in a public bathroom. At a fucking mall.</p><p>John moved his hands down to Paul's arms, shifting the dainty little things up onto his shoulders as he pressed in closer to the trembling body. "Is this okay?" He whispered questioning the boy's consent, trying to keep all of his attention on Paul so he wouldn't be too nervous.</p><p>Paul reluctantly nodded his head after awhile, trying his best to ignore the growing thoughts in his head. The nod made John's heart leap unknowingly, and he had immediately leaned into kiss at his forehead. Then slowly, he drew one hand to the belt wrapped securely around Paul's bijou waist, unlatching while the younger's breaths began to heave with anticipation. Interlacing his fingers at the nape of John's neck as he looked down at the large hand undoing the front of his pants, anxiety and arousal was kicking in at the same time, making him fidget soundlessly. Paul had to be quiet, it was obvious why, but the suddenness and settings of the situation was the main thing killing him.</p><p>John on the other hand, had no idea what the hell he was doing. Well he did. Yet he didn't know why. Having Paul not make any noise was exactly his aim, but at the same time, John was on the edge with him ever since they basically made out on top of the dinner table. Right now it was his hormones, and dark adrenaline leading him on right now. When he peaked through the little line of an opening, Don was nowhere to be seen, or who he had thought was Don couldn't be seen.</p><p>Oh, so maybe he <em>was</em> going crazy —</p><p>John reached down, moving his hand into Paul's underwear to feel about the soft skin residing along his inner thigh. Fuck. Paul's breath had hitched, and John gave him a look to continue being quiet. Shuddering, Paul looked away, an embarrassed red blush living in his cheeks as John trailed his hand along his pelvis - and then - Paul couldn't help but to release another gasp when that hand wrapped securely around the base of his member, fuck. John thought he sounded beautiful, leaning down to capture Paul's lips with his, moving his hand in twisting, taunting motions that made the younger tremble under John's touch.</p><p>Meanwhile, Stuart was wrapped up in a conversation with the one and only. "What are you doing here Don? This isn't your part of England hm?" He bluntly asked, turning to him and sizing up the huge bloke. </p><p>Don huffed impatiently, observing Stuart suspiciously as if he was hiding something - or someone. "I get around. Where's your pretty faced friend?" He eventually asked, shoving his large hands into his pockets while continuing to look around desperately for John, almost hungrily.</p><p>"Don't know." Stuart lied, scratching at his nose as the older man's eyes dug into his face. "We just got here at this mall you know. Never really been here often, just a few times. How about you?"</p><p>"Fifth time."</p><p>Stuart smiled at him, but Don was not paying him any mind. He began to get more impatient. "Why are you waiting near the loo for huh?" Don asked, slapping a hand on the door which could spook anyone inside of the bathroom.</p><p>"Lots of folks in there." Stuart muttered, placing a stick of gum into his mouth, and chewing aggressively on it as his hands began to sweat. Fuck, he hated lying so much, especially when it came to bigger people. It didn't end well half of the time, but most of the time due to his nerves it did.</p><p>"Last time I checked there was only a few, you could go in already." Don said, abruptly opening the bathroom door almost hitting some poor man in the face. Stuart stared at him, and then crossed his arms, leaning forward to look at the shoes underneath the stalls. It was no surprise to him that there were two different pairs of shoes way down at the sixth stall. 'Those nasty bitches.' Stuart had thought to himself, popping his gum as he shook his head.</p><p>"No thanks. Piss smells still in the air. Can get really germy, don't you think?" Stuart asked, even though there was originally supposed to be know answer, raising an eyebrow as he slapped his hand onto the bigger man's chest, reaching for the handle of the bathroom door to close it up. "I'll wait until it's totally empty. You can go if you like, I don't have anything to supply at the moment."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Plus, you got your stash, and I always make sure its enough. No need to bother me."</p><p>Back in the bathroom however, John was having a blast with his younger boyfriend. His palm was wet with with precum, and the back of his neck, shoulders, were aching whenever Paul would dig his fingers in. Speaking of Paul, he was panting against the older's chest, moaning softly now and then, but it was obvious that he was trying to hide how good John's hands had felt on him. Those large hands around him, stroking him, and the occasional — "Such a good boy, you're doing so well for me baby." — that came menacingly from the older made Paul's chest tighten, waves of pleasure drenching his senses. It seems as if the praises encouraged Paul to make more noises than to not make noises at all. It was weird. Like John was using reverse psychology on him.</p><p>To be honest, this whole thing was weird.</p><p>Paul was thick, heavy in his hands, and it made John smile when he felt his cock throb as a warning, along with the way Paul brung his one of hands down to meet John's, basically tugging and clenching on John's wrist as he felt his hips stutter. "Ah," Paul hiccuped, voice strained as he moaned quietly into John's chest, bucking his hips unintentionally into the warm hand that gripped tight around him. It was a strengthening suction of John's fucking hand that made the younger's head spin out of control.</p><p>"Move your hand."</p><p>Fuck. Paul hesitantly moved his hand, resting it on John's side to clutch as his shirt.</p><p>John blinked, staring down at Paul as he stopped his hand movements. Seeing Paul wither under him in need, John chuckled and leaned down to whisper deeply into his ear. "Look at me when you cum, petal. Got it?" Afterwards, he delightfully took in the way Paul shivered and pulled away from the older to rest his backside against the wall of the stall. With a flustered face, he nodded his head quietly and tried his best to capture his laboring breaths, looking up through his eyelashes to lock eyes with John. The auburn haired man began to move his hand again, this time hurrying, slicking Paul's cock up and down quickly with a tight enough grip.</p><p>"Oh, fuck." Paul hissed, under his breath before mewling, his hands reaching and grasping for John basically everywhere as he moved his hips around, trying to run away from the sensation but fuck into it. An intense orgasm was peeling him apart second by second. John put a hand on Paul's waist to hold him still, staring intently at Paul as the younger's eyes flew up to meet his gaze. Biting down on his bottom lip, Paul's gorgeous eyes began fluttering to a close, much to John's demands, as he began to release warm spurts into the older's palm, shooting up to his wrist.</p><p>John worked him through it eagerly, running his thumb across his tip which earned him a stifled mewl. To be frank, he expected Paul to be a bit more vocal, at least whispering back to him how good John's hands had felt. At the same time, with the way Paul was shaking from the slow and languid strokes that he was giving to him now, praises didn't need to be said. The boy birthed one last shaking sigh, removing John's hand off of his softening cock with the same hand that grabbed his wrist earlier. Paul inhaled, slumping against John who only stood frozen as the younger's cum began to drip off of his hand, falling in little droplets onto the bathroom floor.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>That was—</p><p>Wow.</p><p>John let his more cleaner arm wrap around Paul's waist, pulling the spent man closer to him.</p><p>However, before either of them could say anything, Paul suddenly became possessed with some abnormal amount of strength, shoving John off of him. The push was so strong, it sent John's head whipping back to hit the wall of the stall painfully. What the fuck?  Paul silently, with widened eyes and a paled face, pulled his pants all the way up, failingly redoing what John had undone.</p><p>"Baby?" John had grimaced out, holding his head. "Baby, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I don't know, I just.. I'm sorry. I don't feel good. I really want to go home." Paul managed out in a unusually scared voice that sent chills down John's spine, unlocking the stall door with trembling hands gave John a good twenty-two seconds to help mentally gather Paul.</p><p>"Paul, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" John asked, his voice panicked when he saw tears begin to roll down Paul's cheeks. Fuck, fuck, fuck. No, no, no, no, there's no way this could be happening. The moment was so prefect. What the fuck did he just do? "Shit, baby, tell me. Come on, talk to me."</p><p>Paul shuddered, ignoring John's pleads. His own thoughts were loud enough. Finally he got to open the stall door, accidentally hitting the same poor gentlemen that Don whacked with the door earlier. The man began to stumble out, body trembling and pants still undone as he raced for the bathroom door with John chasing behind him. Paul, fuck knows how, was way faster than him though.</p><p>Stuart, who was graciously left alone by big ole Don, was basically charged into by Paul which made both of them stumble almost to the floor if it wasn't for Stuart grabbing the younger's arms to steady both of them. "Paul what the-" Stuart was cut off when Paul shoved him away crying, and did a sharp turn to literally sprint into the massive crowd of the mall. John charged into Stuart only mere seconds after, but this time, both of the bodies had collided with the floor. Unfortunately, this all attracted the attention of several people who stared at the two as if they were crazy.</p><p>Ignoring the murmurs of 'what did he do to that boy?' and 'omg why was he crying?' John had stood up, pulling Stuart up as well before looking around urgently. Fuck, where did he go? Where did he run off to? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. John began to pant, "WHERE DID HE GO?" He yelled, voice booming through the whole area, startling some nearby children. John continued repeating that question, gripping onto Stuart's shoulders and shaking him violently which caused a couple of strangers to pull the two apart.</p><p>"He ran that way, calm the fuck down." Stuart told him, gesturing his head to the right, before jerking away carelessly from the couple of strangers that were holding him away from his best friend. "What the fuck happened?"</p><p>John successfully ripped away from the grips too, it was obvious that he was about to run the same direction Paul had ran off to only for Stuart to grab at his arm to stop him and raise his own voice a little bit. "John what the fuck happened in there? What did you do?"</p><p>"Get the fuck off of me! I have to find him!" John yelled, going feral as the same strangers that held him back grappled onto him. To be honest, he was probably being recorded by a bored 15 year old, but he didn't care. He fucked up. John felt as if he fucked up so bad, all in one fucking day, how could he fuck up so bad in one day? His voice was growing sore from how long he was screaming for Stuart, and the three other men to let him go. So he could go and find Paul.</p><p>His Paul.</p><p>"John, the way you're acting right now, he's definitely not coming back! Calm the fuck down, and look at me!" Stuart snapped, which caused John to settle down a little bit, but it didn't strop the tremors running through his body. "Thats good, that's it. Relax. Now come on, lets go outside and get some air, alright?</p><p>It was a relief that they made it outside, into the parkinglot what with all the curious eyes and aggressive questions from teenage girls that saw firsthand how Paul was crying. It was as if as soon as they saw his flustered, and pretty face, they immediately claimed him - to be honest, John didn't mind. However, he couldn't get the image of Paul crying, him being scared, and the way his skin was pale out of his head. It was killing him. It all happened too fast. It went from Paul slumping against his body, trembling as he came down from an intense orgasm, to Paul running away from him as if he was going to do something bad to him. Hit him. Or worse.</p><p>John clasped his hand over his mouth, nausea bubbling inside of him, and it immediately drew in Stuart's attention. "John? Easy, there, easy, come on. Let's calm down."</p><p>"I'm fine, I'm fine." John lied, trying his best to not vomit from the amount of anxiety coursing through him. He at least wanted to know where Paul was. Fuck Paul was so.. small, and somebody can just easily scoop him up, he'll never see him again. George would kill him.</p><p>Oh fuck, George will kill him.</p><p>"Who's George?"</p><p>'Oh I said that out loud.'</p><p>"Don't worry about it. You'll meet him soon, I guess." John murmured shakily, feeling as if he was a fucking corps from how unbearably cold his skin had fucking felt. He plopped down on the curb, feeling exhausted with all that had happened the past hour.</p><p>Stuart exhaled, and sat down next to his friend, taking John's cold, shaking hands into his own warmer palms. Then he felt some cold wetness, grimaced and pushed his hands away. Goosebumps shot up Stuart's arm,  "Please don't tell me that-"</p><p>"Yeah, I- fuck, I wanked him off in the bathroom." John said, the words feeling gross on his tongue since he listed that as one of the possibilities as of why Paul bailed on him. "That wasn't the plan in there, I saw Don and- well I think I saw him. But I just came in the bathroom with Paul since I suspected that Don would be in there, and I didn't want anything to happen to him. We ended up in the same stall. I couldn't help but to touch him, and I- fuck I don't know what happened from that point on."</p><p>Stuart hummed, shoving another stick of gum into his mouth. "So you did see Don after all. Fuck. Listen John, I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's not your fault. It's mine."</p><p>John didn't hear the end of it. To be honest, he was tempted to call the police. Having some type of search party out for Paul, but fortunately, Stuart had snapped him out of it. They looked everywhere for Paul, taking about two hours to search every part of the mall, and not a single sign of him could be found. It was driving John absolutely crazy. The most off-putting thing about the situation is that Paul's car was still in the parkinglot, so that could only mean that Paul either took off on foot or he was still in the mall. Somewhere in the fucking mall. John and Stuart didn't have time to look through every building, no matter how much the auburn haired man begged the older to do it.</p><p>"No." Stuart had stated, leaning against the counter of a food place at the food court of the building. "We're not going to be out here looking around for a grown man like fools."</p><p>John growled at that, having a poisoned glare drill itself into Stuart's skull. "So you're saying we should just leave him here?" He asked, narrowing his voice into a dangerous tone that made Stuart huff up an impatient breath.</p><p>"John for fucksakes, he's most likely not even here anymore. Why don't you call him?"</p><p>"He broke his phone." John muttered, and that realization only made John more antsy at the idea of Paul being stranded by himself. Oh shit. Now what? He had no way in contacting Paul, especially now. Hell, he should've brung George along.</p><p>Paul and George are inseparable.</p><p>•••</p><p>Paul's feet hurt. So did his chest. His back. Definitely his fucking head. His throat hurt even worse since he was still crying, it hadn't been long since he bolted away from John. Running all the way to the lift, crying on the lift, escaping the lift and then walking unbalanced towards the exit. For a couple of seconds, he paused and his eyes widened when he could hear the faint sounds of John screaming about him on the second floor, but for the minute he acted as if it was his own imagination. Paul suggested that he would talk to him later about it. Once he exited the mall, sniffling and moving out of the way from the unknowing locals that passed by him with concerned expressions on their faces, Paul found it appropriate to stop running like a lunatic.</p><p>Okay, maybe it was time to confront himself.</p><p>Paul felt a sharp pain in his head knocking him sideways, like literally. He stumbled to the side bit, clutching at the back of his head as his breathing began to sharpen from the reoccurring pain. Fuck, he needed to calm down. Like right now before he causes a damn scene in public. Paul already felt the uncontrollable spasming of his leg, and it made him incredibly irritated. No, way. There was no way he was going to let this happen here. Not because of this situation. Paul already figured that John was blaming himself, and if he starts sinking into a seizure only minutes after running away from him, it would make things worse.</p><p>'Breathe. come on, you can do it Paul. Calm down, everything is fine. Everything is fine.' Paul tried to tell himself, moving his hand down to his other right hand which was violently shaking. Looking down tearfully at his hands, he gripped the convulsing one tightly and then squeezed his eyes closed as tight as possible to collect himself. Doing breathing exercises and ignoring the couple of people that walked up to him, asking questions of 'are you alright?' and 'do you need help?' he appreciated it, but this was bad timing.</p><p>Whilst gathering himself, he shooed away the people gathering around him. Eventually Paul ultimately succeeded in calming himself down, the shaking of his right hand decreasing a bit, a long with the familiar numbness gathering him. Tears continued slipping down his cheeks though as he stifled a sob, bringing both of his hands up to wipe his eyes.</p><p>Paul sniffed, tripping and blind from the blur of tears clouding his vision as he walked towards a young woman who was trying to organize her shopping bags. "Excuse me miss," Paul began with a trembling voice, fuck that was embarrassing, he cleared it immediately but it was too late. When the girl turned her head to Paul, she gasped softly and her eyes widened a bit when she was met with teary, lovely, but genuinely troubled eyes. "Oh! Yes? Do you need any help?"</p><p>"May I borrow your phone?" Paul asked, but in a much firmer voice, he was staring at the ground. This was incredibly embarrassing, and it only made him angrier at himself. How could he let his thoughts get this fucking bad? Leaving your boyfriend at the mall, and basically storming out on him? Right after jerking you off in the men's bathroom? There was no doubt that John was upset at him. It only made Paul more on edge.</p><p>Everything was happening too fast. Paul felt as if everything was spiraling out of his control.</p><p>When the pretty bird gave Paul her phone, he smiled weakly at her and went straight to contacts while the lady petted gently at his head. Paul ignored her presence though while dialing George's number, not meaning to ignore her, it was just that damned habit.</p><p>Raising the phone to his ear, sniffling when the younger man picked up with a confused sounding: "Who is this?" That made Paul smile through his tears.</p><p>"It's me, Paul. Can you um.. come and pick me up?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. rekindle.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>next chap is done already :)<br/>there’s going to be an nsfw + angst turning point in this story bc it’s about time sex comes in.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John's hand was bleeding, and Stuart was staring at him in disbelief, wide eyes gaping at his younger friend. The fresh hole in the wall was prominent, noticeable beyond degree and John immediately regretted punching the fuck out of it in self frustration. After a couple of seconds, Stuart silently instructed for John to sit down somewhere before he could do any more harm to himself, and Mimi's house.</p><p>"Sorry I just—" John was cut off when a surge of pain shot up in his arm, causing him to grunt out a  strained 'fuck' and he was sure enough that his hand was badly sprained if not broken.</p><p>"Go, and sit down. Try to breathe or something."</p><p>When John left without further argument, Stuart turned to look at the hole in the wall and murmured a stressed out: "Shit." Under his breath. That was a sight Mimi was not going to be pleased with, and holy fuck - how was he going to hide it? Maybe a little bit of tape here and there would do them some good. Stuart would deal with that later though, all he knew is that John was making him stressed the hell out with his sudden 'I fucked up' outbursts about Paul.</p><p>Stuart had no intentions to comment on what happened, neither to John or to himself. All he knew is that one thing lead to another, and it made him embarrassed to ever enter that mall again. To be frank, in Stuart's opinion there was no one to blame except himself, having John paranoid about Don which made him basically trap Paul in the men's bathroom for his safety. Stuart had no clue why they did whatever they did in the stall, but it was easy to tell that John regretted it.</p><p>After carelessly slapping a drawing of Michael's onto the wall, and taping it up over the hole, Stuart left the area of the crime scene. Walking into the bathroom where he heard running water, Stuart stared with unreadable eyes as John washed the badly bruised hand under cold water. It had to be sprained, just from the looks of it, it seems as if the knuckles took a lot of damage.</p><p>"You're an idiot." Stuart muttered, and the only thing he got in reply was a trembling sigh from the younger man. "Tomorrow, you're definitely going to see him and both of you are definitely going to talk about this. Now if Mimi came back at this moment, seen you punch a hole in he wall and know the reason, what do you think would happen next?"</p><p>John turned the water off, stared at his hand quietly, and then grabbed at a towel to wrap around the throbbing hand. "I'd be dead."</p><p>Stuart chuckled, "Sure would. That would be a worse scenario now would it?"</p><p>Not knowing where Stuart was going with this, John had just faked a laugh and rubbed his eyes with his other hand. "I guess so Stu."</p><p>"Don't panic John. I'm sure Paul just freaked, and it has nothing to do with you in a way that you think it does." Stuart said, as the two of them exited out of the bathroom to make their way into John's bedroom.</p><p>"Stuart." John exhaled, holding his bum hand up to his chest and clutching onto it with his other hand as if it was going to run away from him. "He wouldn't even look at me." He stated, walking into his room when the older man opened the door for him. With a sad sigh, he continued. "I fucked up, and there's no other way around it. You don't understand, he— he said before that he wanted to go slow, and fuck I must've went too fast, it might've became overwhelming for him."</p><p>"Well, did he tell you to stop?"</p><p>"No, but— you don't have to verbally tell somebody to stop for them to get the message that you don't want what's happening anymore." John said, walking over to his bed as he let his own words sink in slowly before remembering how Paul grasped at his wrist when he was wanking him. Was that a sign? </p><p>John felt nauseous.</p><p>Seeing how pale John got, Stuart cocked his head to the side and stared at him before growing even tenser. "Winston.." He trailed, side eyeing the auburn haired man who broke out of his guilty trance. "What's on your mind? You want to tell me something?" Stuart asked, a voice unlike his own, it was more so terrified at whatever realization had crept into John's head. 'Please don't tell me he touched this boy without his consent. Please.' He had thought anxiously to himself, digging into his trouser pockets for some valium to calm himself down.</p><p>"I'm not really sure." John murmured under his breath, clenching the same hand he might've sprained into a fist.</p><p>John's phone had rung. Which made the two of them jolt from the shrill sound of the ringtone, it was some crackish EDM version of jailhouse rock that John found hilarious for some reason. Picking it up reluctantly, the auburn haired man felt his heart pump as if he ran thirty-three specific miles when he read the contact name which was affectionately'curious george' and fuck - he couldn't breathe. Stuart walked up to him, swiping the phone out of John's handbefore he could even answer the call.</p><p>"Hey!" John exclaimed, but it was too late, Stuart had already answered the phone with a curious gleam in his eyes. 'Sorry George, when he's got that look on his face.. there's no stopping him.' John thought to himself, placing his hand down on his lap while staring up intently at his best mate.</p><p>"Who is this?" Stuart asked, his voice blunt and unapproachable as he stared back down at John.</p><p>The wind was knocked out of George from the sound of an unfamiliar voice pooling into his ears. "I— what? John is that you?" He asked, cheeks burning at the thought of someone with a nice and smooth voice like Stuart's greeting him.</p><p>"It's his friend, Stuart."</p><p>George's jaw had dropped, eyes widening a bit as he drawled out innocently: "Aaah the drug dealer."</p><p>Stuart couldn't help but to chuckle at that, which made John furrow his eyebrows curiously at him. So that was definitely George talking over the line, it wasn't Paul calling from his phone. Paul already knew who Stuart was, and it was bit interesting how this would be the first time George and Stuart ever interacted with each other. How interesting could it be seeing two worlds meet.</p><p>"I guess it's fair to call me that. Who is this though?"</p><p>"My name is George, and I'm a friend of Paul's." After hearing that, Stuart looked at John again, meeting his eyes briefly before bringing his gaze down at the floor. George continued to talk before Stuart could say anything back to him, "Is John with you though or anywhere near? I have to talk to him."</p><p>Stuart was tempted to lie. To be honest, he probably was going to lie and say 'no he's not here right now, but I can leave a message' just so John would have some time to gather himself. Maybe in twenty-four hours Stuart would let John talk to George and Paul, but right now, with how his hand looked - he was not stable. "No, John's not in right now." John was quick to interject but Stuart held his hand out to shut him up. "Tomorrow, probably, he's a bit confused."</p><p>"Oh, that's understandable." George replied, sounding a bit defeated.</p><p>"Twenty-four hours. Two four. That's when he might be able to come to the phone again." Stuart told him, a smirk of achievement fixated on his face when he heard the sound of an 'mhm' come from the other end.</p><p>
  <span class="u">24 hours later.</span>
  
</p><p>Paul lifted his head off of the pillow, gasping sharply for air after unsuccessfully trying to suffocate himself to death. Rolling over onto his back, body twitching, and head spinning as oxygen flooded his senses again, Paul let his eyes flutter open to look up at his ceiling with blurred vision. Holy shit that was close. Panting violently, and trying his best to see through the static that was drenching his vision, Paul closed his eyes again. A minute had passed, when Paul made another movement, placing his forearm on top of his face while a shiver ran through his body.</p><p>Well that didn't work.</p><p>It almost did, since Paul was still trying to capture himself from falling to the abyss of unconsciousness when it comes to suffocating yourself, asphyxia sinking in. He hasn't done anything trivial like that since he was a teenager. With that thought, Paul sobbed into the air and brung both of his hands up to his face as he cried. The man couldn't be believe that he put himself through such embarrassment at the mall, embarrassing himself in front of John in such a vulnerable position. What the hell was he thinking?</p><p>'You get the best fucking hand job of your life and end up crying like a child in front of your boyfriend who's already annoyingly concerned over your well-being? All because of what? Last minute PTSD of getting yourself into some deep shit that you can't come back from? And here you are, crying again.' Paul frustratedly thought to himself, clenching his teeth as sobs wracked up his body. It all was leaving him heaving and gasping desperately for air again. 'You're such a fuck up. How could you do this to yourself? To John especially? After all he's done for you, stupid shit.'</p><p>Paul wanted to call him. Apologize. Ask him if they could do it all over again. If— if John could touch him again, make his body tremble with pleasure and heart beat fast like he did before. Paul wanted John to reassure him that he wouldn't use this against him, or take advantage of his vulnerability whilst he thrusted inside of him. Fuck - what if Paul ruined that possibility? Running off like that on him could have scared John off in the same fashion, but in different forms. The thought made Paul grumble through his tears, degrading himself and using terms that his father would use against him whenever he'd fuck up.</p><p>Being aroused by the thought of John's hands on him and being extremely upset with himself at the same time was making him confused. Paul had no clue whether he wanted to masturbate at the thought of John or try to suffocate himself again.</p><p>Maybe he could do both! Hold his breath and try to finger himsel—</p><p>"Good morning Paul!"</p><p>Paul immediately whipped the covers up and over his body when the sound of Ringo entering his bedroom occurred. "H-Hi," He croaked out tearfully, which made him facepalm himself mentally and the smile from Ringo's face fade immediately into a look of concern.</p><p>"Oh no, oh no Paulie what's wrong?" Ringo asked, closing the door behind him carefully as he made his way towards the bed. His big blue eyes were skimming over Paul's covered body worriedly.</p><p>"Nothing, I was just—"</p><p>"Oh my your eyes are teary.. were you crying?"</p><p>Paul really needed this adorable fucker to leave because the last thing he would need this morning is to have innocent Ringo notice his hard-on. Fuck he already sees the tears in Paul's eyes that were still pouring down his cheeks, he does not need to notice the prominent boner he also had from thinking about John. "I'm okay Ringo, I just— I just have a bad headache and-"</p><p>"No worries love." An idea popped into Ringo's head, and the enlightened look on his face scared the actual shit out of Paul. "I'll cuddle you like George does! That'll make you feel better." He chirped, climbing into Paul's head and flopping his body right on top of him, making the younger man squeak and blush wildly.</p><p>"Actually Ringo, I- I don't think that's a goo—"</p><p>"Sh, it's okay, sh."</p><p>As Ringo snuggled against him, holding Paul close and moving his right leg up awkwardly against the younger's middle, Paul inwardly screamed which did come out of his mouth as a strained grunt. 'You have GOT to be fucking kidding me' He panicked, when Ringo finally got comfortable on top of him, not even moving his leg. It was obvious he didn't notice the bulge which was good.</p><p>"Hopefully this will make you feel better Paulie."</p><p>"Fuck my life."</p><p>•••</p><p>George placed Paul's breakfast plate down in front of him, and then offered one to Ringo afterwards. "Bon appetite boys." He smiled, before turning his back towards them to fix his own plate.</p><p>Paul immediately dug in, wanting to hurry up and eat so he could get rid of this headache. Ringo ate his food endearingly, looking at the youngest with fond and gentle eyes. "This is amazing Georgie. You cook so good, I wish I can cook as good as you."</p><p>"Ah, it's average." George softly said, even though he was blushing furiously from the gentle compliment.Paul looked up from his plate, glanced back and forth between them with a skeptical look in his eyes before continuing to eat his food. He wondered why they haven't just asked each other out yet, they're obviously attracted to each other. Maybe if he got his situation in check, he could set the both of them up for a date with each other and that would be that.</p><p>Ringo glanced over at Paul, noticing how fast he's eaten. "You were starving I bet."</p><p>"Somewhat." Paul quietly made out while chewing, he swallowed down his food, stared despondently at his half emptied plate, then traced his mind back to what he was thinking earlier. Quickly, a sour taste spread throughout his mouth and the food he just digested began to morph into the feeling of nausea.</p><p>"Do you want more Paulie?" George asked his friend while placing his plate down, leaning his body on the counter as he began to dig in.</p><p>"No, I'm okay. The food was good though Geo." Paul replied, voice wobbling with brewing anger that was targeted mainly at himself. Ringo noticed how upset Paul looked, and immediately he threw himself onto the younger man, hugging him tight. Paul gasped a bit, almost shoving Ringo off of him instinctively but he forced himself to relax before he could do so.</p><p>"Hopefully this hug can make you feel better." Ringo said, before pulling away and smiling at Paul who just stared back at him unreadably. George cleared his throat, noticing how serious Paul had looked. That wasn't a good a sign.</p><p>George hadn't really understood why Paul was so down, more upset than he had ever seen him. Well, recently. To be frank, it made him a bit paranoid, and it was even worse how Paul never truly told him what was wrong. When George had asked him the moment he had picked the slightly older man up from the parking lot, Paul only responded with: "I'm stupid." And to be honest, he truly did not know how to interpret the meaning of that. So the rest of the ride had the two of them driving in silence aside from Paul's soft cries. Context clues made him hint that it was an incident that involved John.</p><p>George called to speak with him about it, but that lad with a handsome voice answered instead. While eating, George had thought that he should call John again. Paul didn't look up to it though, so maybe he could wait at least plus hours until Paul got his head straight. It seemed as if John was getting his head straight too.</p><p>Paul removed his unintentional glare from Ringo, and took in a much needed breath to relax himself. looking over at George. "Phone's coming in today."</p><p>"Don't break it this time when it gets here." The younger jokingly replied, expecting a laugh from Paul but all he got in return was the same icy looking stare he had given Ringo.</p><p>"Are you okay Paul?" Was finally asked by Richie, who seemed to scrutinize on at Paul's upset aura.</p><p>"No, I did something stupid yesterday and- I just really hate myself right now." Paul replied stiffly, looking down despondently at the empty plate in front of him so that he wouldn't have to meet anyone's eyes. "I'm such a fuck up." He added on, breathily and tearfully as his face became flushed when those pretty eyes watered up immediately.</p><p>George gaped at him in shock, he was definitely not prepared to see his Paul cry so early in the morning. Rushing over to him, the younger pulled the older impossibly close to him and swayed both of their bodies back and forth. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, squeezing Paul's body.</p><p>"Where's John?" Ringo had questioned, it was another question that George tended to ask him when he first picked up Paul but he was too unsure whether to ask it or not.</p><p>Paul sniffled, "I don't know. He's probably at home."</p><p>"Why don't we call him?" George softly suggested, causing Paul to look at him with wide eyes, genuine panic blanketing his features. Before the older could say anything to that, George had continued: "He's probably worried about you Paul, why don't we just tell him that you're home safely so he wouldn't keep his mind running?"</p><p>Paul blinked softly at that, looking elsewhere as if he was truly thinking about it. Should he? There was no time to hold it off since John was literally his only resource to everything that made him happy the past few weeks. To be honest Paul wasn't exactly sure of what he would say if he does talk to John on the phone, it'd be much better seeing him. To see his face and what he would say, what his expressions would be. "No, no. I want to go and see him."</p><p>George looked pleasantly surprised, and Ringo had only smiled at those words.</p><p>••</p><p>Opening the door to Mimi's home, Stuart already felt genuinely elated when he was greeted by George, Ringo and Paul. "Well, well, well. Look at what we got here." He muttered, letting his eyes skim over both George and Ringo as Paul annoyedly pushed past him to enter the home. Stepping aside so that the two men could properly walk in, Stuart smiled some type of cheeky smile at George when the younger man looked back at him. "Good morning."  He uttered to the two of them, digging his hand in his pocket.</p><p>Ringo took off his shoes and jacket, chirping out a innocently happy: "Good morning!"</p><p>George stared at Stuart, nodding his head silently at him as a response to his 'good morning' before looking over at Ringo to see what he was up to. Catching the older man taking his shoes off, he immediately queried. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Mimi likes when people enter her home with their shoes off, remember?" Ringo questioned, holding his shoe up at George with a happy beam on his face.</p><p>George blinked at him before breaking out into a smile, and Stuart almost rolled his eyes at the bubbly innocence that radiated from the blue eyed boy.</p><p>Meanwhile, Paul brushed the tip of his fingers against John's door grazing it down to the actual doorknob, wrapping his fingers around it. Fuck - he really needed to stop and get ahold of himself, apart of the sadness of yesterday there was still a chunk of buzz flooding through him from that fucking hand job. So it wasn't shocking how he was basically fondling at the door knob as if it was something else. Then at the same time, it was a fucking door knob, so he should stop right now before he goes fully insane and does something else with it.</p><p>Finally twisting it in his grip. Fuck. Paul opened the door to John's room, peaking inside to see John settled at his desk where his computer had sat. Capturing his breath, and trying not to cower out, running away again like he did yesterday - Paul entered the bedroom quietly. The boy turned to close the door, the sound of it shutting gently making John snap his eyes at him. 'Oh shit, it's too late to back out now.' Paul gulped, leaning his back against the door when the older man immediately rose up from his chair.</p><p>"Paul?" Oh my fucking God. Paul's breath hitched, and the numbness he was feeling before had immediately disappeared when he saw the relief wash over John's face. "Baby, I—" John almost broke down, rushing over to Paul before abruptly stopping before he could get his hands on him. Calm it down Lennon, let's not fuck up again and scare him back off.</p><p>Luckily, Paul didn't notice how he cut himself off and immediately he was stammering over his own words. "John, I'm so sorry. I- I panicked and I had really fucked up thoughts in my head.. I started freaking out." He couldn't control the words that came out of his mouth, just rambling without any sense. "I'm such a fuck up. Please don't be mad or- or think I'm too much to deal with now. It was just— I didn't know what to do and- I—"</p><p>"Baby, baby, no don't apologize. Come on, calm down for me." John said, hesitantly stepping forward and placing his hand on Paul's forearms to pull him forward gently. "It's okay, I'm not mad."</p><p>Paul's eyes studied John's face erratically when those words had left his mouth, leaving those beautiful colors for the older man to drink in like he was dehydrated.</p><p>"But still." Paul murmured, eyes watering again as he moved his gaze to the floor. "If it wasn't for my dad.. I wouldn't of had those thoughts in my head. I- I- would have not ran out on you like that." He hiccuped, trying his best not to cry again because there was enough tears that left his eyes over the past twenty-four hours. Sniffling, he leaped into the older's arms which sent John stumbling a bit.</p><p>John without any hesitation wrapped his arms around the backside of Paul, pulling him close and clutching the younger protectively in his arms. "Fuck baby, I thought— I thought you were mad at me. I thought I hurt you. Took a step too far and-" Paul had quickly pulled away, shaking his head, he already knew what John meant by that and he couldn't be more wrong.</p><p>"No, no. I- I liked it John." Paul stuttered, before growing more confident in those words after a couple of seconds. "I loved it actually."</p><p>The look on John's face was priceless, his eyes bulging and a blush formulating in his cheeks when Paul's words sunk in. Holy shit, this has got to be some type of fever dream because Paul just—</p><p>Cutting his thoughts off, Paul was more quiet when he muttered a shy: "I want to do it again soon."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>"Fuck baby, I love you." John had chuckled in a low breathless voice, placing his good hand gently on Paul's cheek, causing the younger to flutter his eyesup at him cutely. John leaned in and kissed softly at his lips, cautiously as if he was trying to peace the man back together with gentle healing kisses.</p><p>It worked.</p><p>John's kisses always worked to place the bad shit that happened to Paul back together. When the younger melted into the kisses, letting his eyes flutter to a gentle close, long eyelashes fanning John's cheeks a bit from how close their faces were - Paul felt as if he was floating. They stood there for a bit, leant against the door, kissing languidly and in a persistently innocent rhythm for a couple of seconds.Paul's hand had trailed down to grasp gently at John's hand hand, which caused the older to pull away gasping a bit in pain.</p><p>Paul blinked, concern washing over him. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked softly, looking down at the bruised hand John was holding against his chest. "Oh fuck."</p><p>"I'm fine, I swear." John attempted to say, before Paul could even start panicking again, but it was too late since the younger man was basically pouring over his hand as if he was John's mom. Gosh, sometimes they acted so much like each other, it was kind of scary for John.</p><p>"John! It's bruised! It might be broken!" Paul squawked, holding John's hand cautiously in his grip so he wouldn't hurt his boyfriend. "What did you do to it? Are you fucking crazy? Ugh, you idiot!" Yeah Paul was definitely back to normal.</p><p>John was loving it to say the least.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. pov.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was originally one whole chap but i broke it into 2 which would prbly be out the day after tmrw!! : excuse the errors &amp; leave some comments on how you like it so far :)) i personally feel as if i’m going to slow to get to the actual issues that will come up in the future.</p><p>i hadn’t expected this to stretch out into 30+ chapters, &amp; 100k words!! this is the longest book i’ve written in awhile without reoccurring writers block. 😪 tbh i thought this idea was a little too much for me to plan out, but the comments inspire me to keep going.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh <em>shit</em>." Paul cursed under his breath, last minutely remembering how he left his car at the mall. Leaving his car there in the parking lot was such an amateur move, idiotic, impulsive. Paul doubted he could have driven home with eyes blurred with salty tears though, so calling George was generally his only option to get home safely. The catch to all of this is that Paul's car had his dad's ownership on it, basically it was his dad's money and insurance. Jim McCartney's name was all over it. So what could possibly be the outcome of this?</p><p>His new phone had rung loudly. Catching the attention of John, Ringo and - George the one who paused the scary movie they were watching. Paul clicked his tongue, already figuring out who it could possibly be without looking at the caller ID, and fuck did he definitely not have time to deal with this shit right now. Pressing the green answer button, Paul took in a deep breath as he held the device up to his ear. "Listen, let me explain—"</p><p>"Aht-Aht. No. Shut up. There's no explaining why I have the security of the mall calling me about you abandoning the damn car at the mall." Jim had argued, immediately cutting the man off as he clenched the sheets of his hospital bed with fury.</p><p>"If there's no explaining, then why the fuck did you even call me? Was it to go off on me and then hang up as if that does anything?" Paul asked, he could somewhat tell that the three men looking over at him were genuinely confused as to who he was talking to. George seemed to have caught on as shortly as he realized how tight Paul was gripping the cushion of the couch, it had to be his father.</p><p>"James, don't start this shit with me. Do not try and turn this shit onto me. I called you to let you know how fucking stupid it is of you to leave our bloody car in the damn parking lot!"</p><p>Paul released a trembling angry breath, and dug his fingers more into the couch, tearing the fabric a bit with his nails. "Well, my fucking fault! I fucked up! I'll go and pick it up, okay?" He spat, eyes glistening with something dangerous enough to make John intervene. The auburn haired man reached over, grasping gently at Paul's hand which was impaling the fabric of the couch, causing the cotton to reveal itself.</p><p>"It's too late to pick it up you <em>dumb</em> fuck." Jim spit out with emphasis to make sure Paul heard it, and the younger McCartney certainly did. It hurt. Shooting down his confidence. "It's already been towed. I'm about to take your name off of it actually. Buy your own fucking car, goddamn."</p><p>"Fine. I will. I don't give a shit about that stupid fucking car anyways. It's old and broken just like you." Paul spat, trying his best not to stammer over his words when the self control began to short out hearing the way Jim started laughing.</p><p>"Don't go off crying now Paul, you're a grown man, not the whiny little shit I had to raise." Jim's voice lowered, his anger driving through his elderly body from the words Paul just replied with. 'That boy is lucky I'm sick.' He thought to himself briefly. "Pick out a car you like and sign the right papers, it's simple enough for you. Is it not? Should I break it down—"</p><p>"I hope that damn heart falls out of your fucking mouth you old corpse."</p><p>'<em>Damn, baby</em>.' John thought to himself, looking back at the television when George had turned the movie back on but with a lowered volume. His hands were still clutching onto Paul's, and it broke his heart how much they were trembling.</p><p>Jim feigned a gasp, putting his phone on speaker which revealed the second half of Paul's words to the innocent incoming nurse that swooped in to check on him. "Do you hear how my oldest son talks to me? All I did was tell him that I love him." He cried out in a fragile voice, which made something murderous flare in Paul's eyes. Holy shit, he wants to kill him. Paul wants to fucking kill him.</p><p>"Oh my." The nurse gasped softly, "That's not nice."</p><p>"Wasn't supposed to be nice lass. Especially for a man who loves chasing his kids down the street with golf clubs and bat—" Jim coughed loudly, drowning Paul's words with his forced coughs and hanging up on him at the same time.</p><p>Paul removed his phone from his ear, frustration laced in his expression as he stared at it. 'Don't throw it. Don't throw it. Don't throw it.' He chanted to himself, his glare hardened exponentially, luckily before he could chuck it to the floor again, John took the device from him gently and placed it into his own lap. Afterwards, John pulled Paul in close to him and embraced the man, hand rubbing his back as Paul said nothing - he just turned to the older, burying his face into the man's chest.</p><p>"Can't wait for that man to die." George said without any context, it could be about Jim or the man in the scary movie trying to find the poltergeist that took his friend.</p><p>Paul laughed softly into John's chest, turning his head so that he was resting the side of his face on the older's chest. John's body was so soft, and warm, every time the older man pulled him on top of him, Paul would end up flustered. He never thought John was the type to love cuddling, and maybe he isn't, but there was a strong exception of Paul. The way he could just lay on top of John as if he was his own and a body pillow, clutch onto him tightly when everything else was just running wildly out side of them, it made him fall deeper for John.</p><p>John ran a hand along Paul's hair, his quietness was louder than anything else in the room. To be honest, he was fuming on the inside. Quite surprised at the same time from how Paul kept his cool, and spoke with a monotone voice for most of that conversation. There was the brief subject of golf clubs and bats that came up before Jim could hang up, it made John think of something terribly gruesome - what the fuck. So, that man on the other side of the phone was the Jim McCartney. Holy shit was this about to be a memorable day.</p><p>When the second half of the movie came on, Paul pulled away from John to announce in a nonchalant voice: "Dad took the fucking car from me."</p><p>George gaped, "Is it because you left it at the mall?"</p><p>John suddenly felt guilty at that. If he didn't do what he did in that damn bathroom, making the younger storm off, Paul wouldn't of had his car taken away from him. Fuck - what was he going to do now? That old man literally just stripped him of his own fucking car! This had to be some type of illegal activity, because what was Paul going to do if nobody was available to drive him around somewhere? Take the bus? No way John would let—</p><p>"It's fine, I can just buy a new one."</p><p>Oh. Paul was rich, right. John totally forgets sometimes that Paul could practically buy anything he wants. Wow, he was genuinely about to make a plan on how to get Paul traveling somewhere safely without a car. The dedication was significant.</p><p>••</p><p>With his boyfriend propped up onto his backside, tired and a bit lightheaded due to his medication, John trotted eagerly along the sidewalks of Liverpool. It's been awhile since he's been in this neighborhood, where his mother had lived at, and it was abandoned by him right when Julia was killed. Now it's not the time to think about that, he wanted to show Paul something sentimental to him, and it was a thing to make sure Paul knew how connected they were when it would come to Michael.</p><p>Paul had lifted his head up, wrapping his arms around John's neck as he looked around the neighborhood with big and curious eyes. "What is this place baby?" He softly asked, which caused John to chuckle a bit. It seemed as if the pet name rubbed off on Paul after all, as much as the younger man would deny it. The sound of the pet name, 'baby' coming off of his tongue was extremely adorable to John, soft and blanketed with affection. </p><p>"My mother lived here in one of these houses. I want to show you something that's going to shock you."</p><p>Paul blinked, and smiled a bit as he placed his chin on top of John's head. The older grew quiet, when he marched up onto the the pavement that still had an old candle and a dying flower laid aside it. Staring down at it, he managed to exhale before reaching back and tapping at Paul's leg. "C'mon baby, get down real quick. I want you to see this." John softlysaid, which Paul had obeyed to doing without any argument.</p><p>When Paul was settled onto the ground on his two feet, John gestured for the two of them to crouch down. The older reached out to feel at the flower a bit, before looking over at Paul who was staring curiously at it. "I put this here back when I was seventeen, mourning and all." John said, before looking up and letting his eyes wander despondently along the empty road. "She was hit and killed here apparently, so I thought it would be an appropriate place to put the flower."</p><p>Paul nodded, his eyes sparkling with empathy and a rather longing look of his own when he gazed around the area. "I'm sorry about this John." He muttered, which only made John hum in response to that. There was not an actual good reply to that, because first of all it visibly not 'it's okay' or 'don't apologize' it was just an unresponsive statement.</p><p>"C'mon, I want to show you something else." John said but he looked much more tranquil this time than sad, reaching over and grasping at Paul's hand to stand up straight. Paul was compliant, followed wherever John was taking him wordlessly, the only sound coming from them was their shoes scraping against the ground.</p><p>After a couple of minutes of walking along the sidewalk of the kind of desolate street, John was searching around eagerly until he had finally found his mother's house, a white car parked out in the driveway of the home. Tugging Paul with him, his bigger hand squeezing onto the smaller one in his grasp, he made his way up to the door with a small smile on his face. Bringing his hand up, he knocked on it in the same rhythm Anna knocked on Elsa's door with in Frozen. Paul wondered who could it possibly be, and surprisingly, he wasn't nervous. The man trusted John enough to know that they weren't meeting another Stuart-like person.</p><p>John glanced at Paul, drinking in the innocently curious expression on his face delightedly. Paul looked very handsome today, it was a random thought that formulated in John's head, but it was true. Pulling him in, John leant down and kissed his full cheek which quickly made Paul softly slap at his arm, blushing. "What was that for?" The younger asked, furrowing his eyebrows and becoming cutely flustered when John simply just smiled at him.</p><p>"You look good."</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes at John, but he felt extremely flattered from the compliment on the inside.</p><p>The door opened revealing two girls who were likely eleven or twelve at least. Both of them looked amazingly similar to John, and it was throwing Paul off almost completely when they dragged John inside of the home, squealing out his name. Paul was somewhat dragged inside of the home too since John was still gripping his hand. "Hey, hey! Calm it down would you?" John cackled, letting go of Paul's hand and pulling the girls away from him gently, he kneeled down to properly greet them with a beam on his face.</p><p>Paul watched as John hugged the both of them tightly, looking on a bit shyly as they chatted a bit with hushed voices. They were most likely sharing inside jokes to each other that Paul wouldn't get at all. During this, thoughts were circuiting through his head. Were those John's kids? No, of course not. That would be stupid. To Paul, he made an assumption that they were John's siblings at least.</p><p>"Paul, c'mere, I want you to meet my two sister's: Victoria, and Julia. There's another one around here somewhere, but she's hiding." John had chuckled, motioning Paul over towards him which caused the younger man to grow even more shy since the eyes of the two little girls were staring at him. Slowly, he made his way over towards the three and kneeled down next to John with a small smile on his face. "Hi." Paul finally said, before broadening his smile which made the girls scream.</p><p>Victoria covered her face, red sewing into her creamy skin. "Ah! He's so cute!" She squealed, which made Paul's eyes widen and his mouth fall open in a jokingly shocked manner. Julia was orbiting in delight right along with her, a smile and a blush on her face as she started to run around. John watched in awe as his two little sisters basically fangirled over Paul's unintentional charm. That was something he definitely did not expect. Holy shit.</p><p>"Is- Is your name Paul?" Victoria asked shyly, not meeting Paul's eye as she questioned him. Julia was hiding behind her, innocent eyes darting over Paul's face which only made her squeal even more and hide her face when Paul glanced at her. Both of them were totally disregarding the existence of their older brother, it was honestly so wholesome.</p><p>"Yeah, it is."</p><p>Victoria giggled manically, "Oh my! It's so cute! Eek!" She adorably squeaked, covering her face again when it transitioned to a cherry red look.</p><p>"Paul, can you marry me!" Julia blurted before clapping her hands over her mouth, her own face growing a crimson red when Paul laughed in shock. It seemed as if Victoria snapped out of her briefly shy lock in, and confronted her little sister with a mean glare. "Hey! That's no fair! I liked him first!"</p><p>John huffed, glancing over at the shocked expression on Paul's face. Even though he was obviously taken aback, John easily could tell that he was flattered being fought over by two girls. "Actually ladies, I hate to break it to you, but Paul is my boyfriend." He announced, which made both of his sister's jaw drop and adorable sadness wash over them. Paul looked at John with another shocked expression on his face, mentally asking the older why'd he made these two girls die on the inside.</p><p>"No fair!" Victoria stomped with a pout on her face.</p><p>"But— but," Julia's lip quivered, hands reaching out to grab at Paul's arm and hug onto him. "Mine!"</p><p>John had rolled his eyes playfully as Paul giggled quietly at the two girls fighting over him. Sighing the auburn haired man began standing up straight from his crouching position. "Alright, I'm off to get the other one since she's not making her debut here yet. Afterwards, let's all go to the park."</p><p>"Okay!" Victoria had chirped excitedly, making her way over to poor Paul who was already being poured over by Julia. He honestly didn't mind, obviously, he just sat there on the floor nearby the door and let them gossip over his features. Girls will be girls.</p><p>••</p><p>"I didn't know you had three sisters." Paul said, watching John swing back and forth on the swing set, looking on in love at the sight of the thick auburn hair moving in the wind. "They're so cute, I wish you would have told me sooner." He smiled, as John had abruptly scraped the heel of his shoes against the ground to stop his swinging.</p><p>"Thank you baby. I wish I did too, but there was a lot of shit going on." John replied, before reaching over and grabbing the chain of Paul's swing to pull the both of them close to each other. Paul placed his hands in his lap, and looked around the park with an unreadable expression on his face before exhaling.</p><p>"I wish I lived with you growing up." He suddenly uttered out, which made John blink from the randomness of those words. He didn't ask 'why' or 'what do you mean' because it was clear as to what he meant by that. Not only was it clear to him, it was extremely sad to hear that come from Paul. Even though it obvious that John's family wasn't the best itself, Paul still wished that he grew up with them instead of his own. Mind you, their families were extremely different from each other. "You know, the only person in my family who truly cared for me other than Michael, was my mom. Her side of the family loved me too."</p><p>"Really now."</p><p>Paul nodded, staring at the ground with glassy eyes and for a second John thought he was going to cry, but Paul seemed persistent in holding it in. John wants him to cry though, he wants Paul to let out all of the built in aggression, sadness and frustration he's been holding in all these years. "My mom told me, a couple of nights before she died that my dad always thought—" He choked up, but then he cleared his throat blinking quickly so that the tears would go back, or so that he could postpone crying. "My dad always thought that she loved me more than she loved him. He would get so jealous and— he'd take it out on me with every chance he'd get."</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>"You know sometimes, he would cry and hold me afterwards. It was by the end though, a year or two after mom had died. He'd say he was sorry. That he loved me and he didn't mean to hurt me. Probably didn't mean shit, but I think that's the only time I saw my real father." Paul said, with his voice shaking by the end of it and the tears escaping his eyes without his permission, but he didn't fucking care anymore. Moving his hand up to his eyes, he tried to wipe the tears that slithered down his cheeks but John had stopped him.</p><p>"Baby don't. It's okay to cry. After all you've been through, it's fine."</p><p> </p><p>Paul sniffed, and nodded his head which was lowered, hair falling in front of his face. "But we're at the park, and— nobody cries at the park."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> He muttered with a touch of humor in his voice, sniffling.</span></p><p>John laughed softly, standing up from his swing to go over to the younger man and pull him in close to his body. "Who made up that rule hm?"</p><p>"Me."</p><p>John had laughed aloud again, his own eyes becoming wet with incoming tears. Stepping back, he cupped at the younger's cheek and lifted his head up which did reveal big tears streaming down his beautiful face. Paul looked euphoric. "I want to give you something that I bought before picking you up earlier. Look." John had said, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a rectangular shaped box. A logo of an expensive jewelry store written right on top of it, the outside of it feeling like velvet.</p><p>Paul wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, sniffling as he blinked at the box as if it were holding a gun to his head. "What's this?"</p><p>"Open it silly." John laughed, as Paul took it into his hands carefully. The younger opened the box cautiously as if something was about to jump out and kill him, it made John giggle a bit. The glisten of a silver bracelet blinded him briefly, his own name was engraved into it. The sight of it made Paul's eyes widen hilariously cartoonish, and a pink tint form in his cheeks. "Do you like it?" John asked, feeling a bit nervous from the accumulating silence that spread between the two.</p><p>"John it's fucking beautiful." Paul said distractedly, the gorgeous glisten of the bracelet that reflected from the sun made his head spin wildly. "I don't deserve this, fuck. It's— I don't—" John hushed him, grasping at Paul's wrist of the same arm that spooked John with scars. He wanted to replace the past marks that were placed there from Paul's angst with a loving gift. John took the bracelet and put it on the boy's wrist, Paul being compliant despite thinking he didn't deserve it.</p><p>Once it was wrapped around his wrist, John raised Paul's hand up to his lips and kissed gently at the inside of his palm. "You do deserve it Paul, you deserve everything." He said, interlacing their fingers together as Paul's bottom lip began to tremble. "I love you. You know that right?"</p><p>Paul sniffed, tears running down his cheeks as he nodded his head. "You're so sweet." He murmured sadly which made John chuckle lightly, dipping down to meet Paul in a kiss in which Paul immediately reciprocated. The kiss was unfortunately short, because Victoria seemed to run over towards them and tug on John's pants leg. "C'mon play hide and seek with us Lenny!" She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up when John turned around and wiped his eyes.</p><p>"Alright now." John smiled, before looking back at Paul who was staring at him with fond eyes. "I'll be back baby, stay right here, okay?" He questioned, staring into Paul's eyes as if they were stars. And they really were stars in John's eyes. Paul sniffed and nodded his head, wiping his eyes as John hurried off with his little sister all the way back to the main park.</p><p>Paul watched them play, his gaze following John engagingly as the older ran around trying to find his sisters, a smile of enjoyment on his face. The amount of times Paul was called beautiful by John, the man had noticed that he barely had time to compliment John's looks. That realization made him feel like a self centered idiot, all he wanted to do right now is just pull John to him and compliment every part of his face. As well as his body, oh yes - especially his body, that was something that Paul would never forget about. That time when John was ill, and he was changing his clothes, the way his body looked — it was— John was so beautiful. Paul smiled to himself, gazing down at the silver bracelet around his wrist while pushing himself off of the ground to swing back and forth a bit.</p><p>This was the most sweetest gift someone has ever gave to him. Running the tip of his fingers against his name, Paul felt his heartbeat speed up and the smile on his face grow wider. 'Fuck I— I love him so much.' He thought to himself, clutching his wrist against his chest as he looked back up at John who was spinning his sister around in his hands after finding her. Paul pushed himself up off of the ground and began to swing again, his hair moving through the wind.</p><p>There was no telling that Paul was swooned.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. look at it drip.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chap has me nervous?? 😀<br/>there’s actual smut in this chap &amp; it might suck ass so feel free to criticize bc smut in full blown stories aren’t rly my strong point</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I did some shopping. So I can actually make us something to eat. Or we could order some pizza. It's whatever you want baby." John said as the two walked into the home, kicking his shoes off before stretching his arms out. Paul stared at him for a little bit, his eyes drinking in John's appearance before shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up on the rack. Afterwards he began to take his own shoes off, which kind of surprised himself since he never had done this before, take his shoes off.</p>
<p>Paul had then rushed and followed John into his room, meeting up with the man rummaging through his closet for something. "John? What are you doing?" He curiously questioned, watching as the man removed himself from the closet with a guitar in his hands. John looked over at him, smiled, and then motioned his head to sit down on his bed.</p>
<p>Paul wordlessly closed the door, and made his way towards the bed to sit down on it. John stood up straight, and cleared his throat as he pulled the chair by his computer close to him so he could sit down. "Alright." He grunted, adjusting his guitar strings while Paul began to smile softly at him. What a dork. "Remember when I told you that I wrote a song for you?" John asked, and the memory came back to Paul quickly which made frown a bit.</p>
<p>"Yes but, I was an asshole to you."</p>
<p>"Don't worry about it. Just hear me out, it's a little corny but believe me this is from the heart." John said, winking at Paul which made him blush and look away at the something else. Strumming the guitar a bit, he slowly began to pick up the same rhythm he had used on it before to figure out the tune and melody of the song he created. "If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true, and help me understand." John began, with the first couple of lyrics that made Paul's eyes widen.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>When John was done, he set the guitar down and looked at Paul for his reaction. Paul was clapping his hands, a delighted smile on his face as well as a crimson blush in his cheeks. "I loved it. I loved all of it. I love you." He said, watching as John got up off of the chair and trekked over towards the younger man. Leaning down, he basically trapped Paul against his bed with one hand resting aside him, he titled the younger man's head up and kissed his lips passionately.</p>
<p>Pulling away gently, and sweeping a strand of hair from Paul's face, John kissed gently at his nose. "I love you too, gorgeous." He said, noting how Paul's eyes grew a bit wide from the warmth that spread through him, John wanted to see more of that.</p>
<p>Paul blinked, and raised both of his hands up to grab at John's cheeks. John startled until Paul suddenly began to ramble out different adjectives without any context. "Beautiful! Pretty! Gorgeous! Hot! Sexy! Fetching! Attractive! Prepossessing!" He shouted, before realizing that he must look crazy to John. "That's what you are to me." This time, it was softly uttered and it followed up with a sweet kiss to John's lips.</p>
<p><em>Wow</em>.</p>
<p>John laughed softly when Paul pulled away, a smile on his face as he dropped his hands to his side. When he locked eyes with Paul's, his gaze darting over the younger's pretty face, there was suddenly a strong feeling of guilt washing over him. What if— what if Paul finds out that John's been lying about his job? What the fuck could happen? What could possibly be his consequences? God he couldn't lose this precious face, a relationship as in debt as this one is a once in a lifetime experience.</p>
<p>"Paul.. listen.." John nervously began, but Paul was on his way in starting his own sentence. He paused simultaneously along with Paul, and that was when he decided to push his confession to the younger about his job to the back of his mind. "You go first."</p>
<p>Paul nodded his head, and exhaled nervously before speaking softly. "John, I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. I loved today and all. I'm happy that I got to meet your siblings, I know they were happy to see me." He smiled, laughing a bit as he thought back to the little girls that freaked out each and every time Paul did something. "Maybe one day, we can get Michael and them on a play date with each other! Wouldn't that be grand? But anyway, I really enjoyed spending time with you today. You've cheered me up."</p>
<p>John blinked, before breaking into a smile that stretched across his face. Maybe the drug dealing confession could wait. It wouldn't harm anyone. "I'm glad I can make you feel better baby." He said, truth evident in his voice as he climbed onto the bed which made Paul's expression grow into a more curious one. The younger scooted back so that John had more room, what he wasn't expecting is for the older to climb right on top of him with a suddenly serious expression on his face.</p>
<p>"What are you doing?" Paul asked, looking up at John as the older hovered over him. His breathing spiked, and his face became flustered into a light pink when John basically stilled one top of him. Oh, this was — well fuck, this was different.</p>
<p>"I want you to promise me something."</p>
<p>Paul blinked, and nodded his head at John as he looked up at him. "What is it Johnny?"</p>
<p>"Promise me.. that whatever happens. You'll never leave me." John told him, the expression on his face morphing into an incredibly pleading one as he leaned forward. "Promise me."</p>
<p>"I promise. But John why would I—"</p>
<p>"I've lost so many people throughout my life Paul, and if I ever lose you.. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Listen, when you ran away from me, I punched a hole in the wall and fucked my hand up." Paul frowned at that, already parting his lips to possibly call John a stupid idiot and adorably scold him but the older had already beaten him to the next few words. "I love you so much. If Stuart weren't there to help me, I probably would've done something more stupid to myself."</p>
<p>Paul had rolled his eyes at the thought of John hurting himself because of him, raising a hand to caress John's cheek and pull him close to gently press their foreheads together. "You're fucking insane." He whispered, before pulling John closer to him for a kiss that wasn't as soft as the last ones. This one had some type of purpose to it, a possible hunger that driven it.</p>
<p>John ate it all up, before slipping up and gasping when Paul actually fucking forced him down onto his body. Their lips never separated, Paul kept a rhythm with him pulling John's lips in within each and every kiss. Spreading his legs to have John slot in between them, their crotches touching nonetheless which was something intense for the both of them. Paul didn't care though, but John on the other hand had pulled away quickly from him with a flustered look on his face. "Wait, wait, Paul. Calm down a bit baby. What do you want?" Looking up at him through his eyelashes, Paul huffed and whined out a provocative sound with a look in his eye that John had never seen before, or maybe he has.</p>
<p>"I want you to.. touch me." He murmured under his breath, staring into up John's eyes and basically sucking all the air from the older's lungs, looking absolutely gorgeous, eatable, fucking delectable. John's shocked silence made the younger's gaze soften a bit from the beautiful lustful expression on his face, and he cleared his throat as he looked over at nothing. "If you want to, I mean." Paul nonchalantly added, a subtle thought birthing in his mind of not wanting to make John uncomfortable.</p>
<p>John felt a shiver course through him, and he ended up huffing a breath. "You tease." The older man giggled with his eyes lowering into a look of ease, but still, there was hesitation in his gaze when he looked into Paul's half lidded, and gorgeous eyes. "I don't want to overwhelm you though baby."</p>
<p>Paul groaned impatiently at that, "But John, I <em>want</em> this." He whined as he began letting go of John's hand and slowly lowering the two hands down to grasping at the hem of his shirt. John followed the movement of his hands, gulping down when Paul began to lift up the shirt revealing — the beautiful fucking milky skin of his stomach.</p>
<p>The boldness of Paul was shocking both John and his own self, but as said before he didn't care at all. To be honest, he was thinking about this since yesterday and it made him hot all over. It was just getting him more excited for what was possible to come next. Pulling the shirt up enough so that it exposed his abdomen, leaving John positively speechless at the sight before him, Paul had then taken John's hand in his own again and placed it against his stomach. "So you don't want to touch me?" He asked in a soft, <em>manipulating</em> voice that made it suddenly hard to breathe for John.</p>
<p>"I do. I want to." The man was basically drooling, his eyes wandering unashamedly over the younger's exposed stomach.</p>
<p>John's eyebrow twitched, self control faltering as he sat up on his knees and ran his hands across the addicting smooth skin of Paul's stomach. Fuck. Paul watched him, a smirk forming on his face as John looked at him with a look of sheer starvation. "You're so <em>beautiful</em>." The older mumbled as he suddenly pulled the boy's shirt up to reveal those pink, and cute little nubs that were his nipples. Paul's breath hitched from the crippling sensitivity that stimulated all the way down in between his legs.</p>
<p>"I didn't even touch you yet."</p>
<p>Paul was about to scowl at him, but the forming expression immediately dropped from his face, a shaking moan exiting through his lips when John swiped a hand along his chest. After yearning to see Paul's upper body so bad, he was now willingly revealed the precious chance to see his chest and stomach. John yanked the rest of Paul's shirt all the way up to his neck, causing the younger to gasp lightly and reach out to grab at the older's sides. Thus revealed perky nipples that were colored a gorgeous shade of pink, utterly soft and clear creamy skin, this was all John wanted to see. There was no bruises, no other scars or anything and he couldn't be any more grateful.</p>
<p>Leaning down which made Paul stiffen up from the sudden movement, John nestled the length of his nose inhaling the distinctive scent of Paul's skin which made the older's ears burn from the blood quickly rushing up to his face. The raven haired man placed a gentle hand on the top of John's head, crimping his fingers slowly and gripping his hair when the older began to leave lingering kisses at the expanse of his stomach. John noted that the younger was rather slim for his height. It didn't really matter to him though.</p>
<p>Paul was relaxed and completely pliant underneath the spell of John's touch, the older man could actually feel the tremors of delightful anticipation coursing throughout Paul's body. Kissing his way gently up to the man's chest, ears drinking in the occasional soft sighs coming from Paul's mouth and trying his best to keep his mind focused on the task of making Paul feel good, John ran the length of his tongue amongst the left nub.</p>
<p>"Oh," Paul immediately gasped, leaning the back of his head against the bed when John slowly circled the tip of his tongue around the stem of his sensitive nipple. Clenching his hand in John's hair, and tensing up with hot stimulation running throughout his body, Paul realized that he just revealed how much of a weak point his chest was. John's tongue felt <em>extremely</em> good on him, and he was kind of surprised that he held this off for so long, especially from the fearless amount of adrenaline that's running through him right now.</p>
<p>John suckled on Paul's left nipple until it was tingling from the heated attention, his other hand had successfully stimulated the right one with the pad of his thumb, along with his index. Paul withered in gasping breaths underneath him, his unbelievably gorgeous face screwed up into a pleasured frown. Eyes fluttering from the weight of pleasure gradually building inside of him whilst his nipples were played with, he grasped at the sheets to twist them into his fist. "Fuck, fuck- John. Oh my<em> God</em>." That chant seemed to tip John over the edge, releasing Paul's nipple with his mouth which let a soft pop sound resound into the quiet room.</p>
<p>Paul had then quickly noticed something, John still had his attire on, and fucking <em>Christ</em> was that irking him. "Why the hell is your shirt still on? Take it off." The flustered man panted, which made John catch onto his words simultaneously when Paul reached desperately for his shirt, but John was quick enough to grab at the younger's wrist and pin them down beside his head.</p>
<p>"Let's take it a bit easy baby. You can be patient, can't you?" John questioned, moving Paul's wrists up and above his head so that he could maneuver the younger's wrist into one hand. Paul shivered at the way John gently manhandled him, he's always been enthralled with how easy the older could move him around, ever since they first met. With slyness, John brung his free hand down to the end of his shirt, pulling it over his head to throw it across his room. Paul huffed impatiently, and like a squirmish little brat he attempted to strain against John's hold, letting his eyes skim unashamedly over John's upper torso.</p>
<p>The sight of John's bare upper body hovering over him cued his tongue to dart across his bottom lip in a way that made the older tighten his grip around Paul's wrist even more.</p>
<p>"You're so fucking hot."John spat out without even realizing it, and the wrecked sound of his voice made Paul chuckle and blush a bit from the compliment.</p>
<p>Pulling Paul up into his lap, the younger immediately swung his arms around John's neck as their lips glided amongst each other's, moving in sync as Paul properly straddled John. It honestly didn't matter to him nor John that he was still fully clothed for the most part, just having the heat of Paul's body against John's was enough, and he did not want the younger to grow uncomfortable for being too exposed. Paul moved one arm that had been hooked around John's neck and dived it in between the two of them. Lifting his body up off of John's a bit, keeping their lips glued against each other, his sly hand began moving to the obvious erection tinted in John's trousers.</p>
<p>Groaning when Paul palmed at his erection, and when he smartly ran his tongue along the side of John's own tongue to keep him distracted in two ways, the older was dazzled from how eager Paul is. The younger pulled away, licking along the corner of John's mouth as if he was a lollipop and tracing it all the way to the sharp jawline that the auburn haired man was gifted with. John's breaths became labored when Paul continued his ministrations, timidly caressing the older man's cock as if it was newly bought material. It was driving John insane, his hands grasping at Paul's waist which had seemed to buck up against him when he lowered himself down against John's crotch again, and then -- fuck.</p>
<p>John hissed when Paul began to slowly grind their crotches against each other, feeling the younger release a trembling sigh that was muffled erotically against the skin of John's neck. Shoving his hands up into Paul's shirt, feeling along the boy's backside and dipping his fingers carefully into the skin, John grunted something unintelligible into his ear when the younger rolled his hips in such a fucking way that made the auburn haired man melt.</p>
<p>What came after was a sharp sting, it had to be Paul biting at his skin, causing John to roll his eyes back briefly.</p>
<p>This was so much to deal with, but at the same time - it was so fucking little.</p>
<p>John just, he needed to - quickly, John removed Paul off of him and stringed his body back onto the bed, his hands finding their way to the waistband of Paul's pants. "John," Paul choked on his words as his shoes were thrown against the wall and his pants were stripped down his legs with some type of gentleness, plus rural aggressiveness at the same time. "You're so pretty." He sighed, flickering his eyes over John's features, feeling his dick twitch just from the sight of the older man.</p>
<p>"Thank you petal." John grunted in response, making Paul giggle quietly. Once the younger's pants were off, he grasped at the band of his damp underwear, earning himself a consenting nod from Paul who grew flustered at the realization of what they were doing. John, with much more gentleness, removed the younger's underwear and fuck..what a beautiful sight seeing Paul's eager cock spring out majestically into the unfamiliar territory.</p>
<p>Precum seeping down the velvety length, occasional twitches from the impatient stimulation of blood parting through it like Moses parting the sea, and to add onto the sight was how Paul preciously trembled when it hit the cool air. John stared, rolling his tongue across his lips as his eyes shined with a possessive glint that Paul noticed and flushed quietly at. There was no going back now, hell Paul wasn't even sure if he wanted to go back at all. "You're perfect." John uttered out loud enough so that the younger could hear, wrapping his fingers around the sensitive shaft while moving up to meet Paul in a deprived kiss.</p>
<p>Paul fluttered his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowing from a fit of pleasure washing over him when John's hand twisted around his self lubricated cock. Now John was wanking him out in the open, and his moans could be broadcasted, high, clear, genuine. When his lips were free from John's, which had made their way to massaging Paul's neck with his own wet kisses, the younger panted for a bit before letting a moan rip out of his throat. Bucking his hips up, fucking himself into John's warm and tight grip, Paul's breaths heaved before he withdrew another groan of pleasure from the depths of his throat. "Shit, John." He hitched, breathtaking eyes fluttering gorgeously when they became deluded with strong and milky hot pleasure.</p>
<p>"That feel good baby?" John whispered against the soft skin, earning a nod in response with a trembling moan that vaguely resembled his name. The beautiful sounds that came from Paul, along with the wetness that splattered against hand which was nothing other than precum, made John feel dizzy.</p>
<p>The strong feeling of his own arousal ached for some type of attention, but he would not act on it at all until Paul was at his edge.</p>
<p>Paul had different plans though. Sinking his hand into John's pants after slyly undoing the buttons, Paul in the haze of his own pleasure searched and quickly grappled at John's hardened cock, pumping the aching length in the same rhythm John was stroking him in. The older released a moan into Paul's skin, going crazy when Paul's other hand rested in his hair, pulling at it when John did a twist in his strokes. "Fuck baby, your hands feel so good." He hissed into Paul's ear when he moved his face up to Paul's again, before placing uncoordinated and wet, heavy breathed kisses at the younger's cheek.</p>
<p>Paul's mouth had dropped open when John thumbed at the head of his dick, not knowing how perverted he sounded when his back arched up, and his chest was pressed erotically into John's own chest. With his mouth opened, he let out the most beautiful moans of John's name and futile curse words, praises that would make a priest check into a rehabilitation center. Fuck, this was so hot, but John wanted more.</p>
<p>Swiftly moving both of their hands off of their cocks, John mounted on top of Paul's shivering form who was opened to anything John had in mind at this point. "Hold on, fuck." John muttered, pulling his trousers down his legs until he had enough room before planting himself in between Paul's opened legs, with the help of Paul's own impatient strength when he gripped John's biceps with trembling hands. Pressing his body down against the younger, he swallowed down the gasp Paul made when he felt John's cock press against his own, with a quick kiss.</p>
<p>When John began shifting his hips back n' forth against Paul's narrower pelvis experimentally, Paul moaned drunkenly into the messy kiss. Now knowing John's idea, the younger without any hesitation started bucking and rocking his hips against John which had started the whole ordeal.</p>
<p>Lifting himself up, unlatching the kiss, John panted out breathless moans as he fucked himself against Paul like a dog in heat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He moaned out between each slightly uneven and desperate thrusts, the feeling of their hardened lengths rubbing together being too much for the both of them. Paul hissed, grasping onto John's waist to use as leverage to thrust his own hips up to meet with John. Yet his own bucks weren't as coordinated as John's, his were more shaky and desperate to chase the nearing orgasm that prodded at his body. "Faster, please." He whispered out in a broken whimper that shot through John's body, and planted itself into his mind.</p>
<p>"Faster baby?" John asked in a trembling voice of his own, leaning down on his fore arms so that their chests pressed against each other and so his thrusts were more tended to by the feeling of both his skin and Paul's soft, crumpled shirt. When Paul nodded with a look that made John tremble against him, it triggered him into unleashing a mewl to add on with the unrecognized, but extremely euphoric gaze he sent to the older man. "Fuck, you feel so good." He continued in a wrecked tone - which made another wave of pent up pleasure drown Paul, cold and hot with a stimulation that felt so fucking good.</p>
<p>Paul hiccuped, pretty eyes watering from the strong, pleasurable stimulation when John went at it with his neck again which left him to release the cutest noises into the older's ear that caused the pace to grow sharper. Fuck. Almost crying from the amount of pleasure he was given just from John thrusting their cocks together made him anticipate how intense it was going to be when John was inside of him.</p>
<p>Inside of him? <em>Oh shit</em>.</p>
<p>Just from that thought, and the feeling of another sharp thrust against him, Paul relished in the violent wave of pleasure that caused him to tense up against John. On cue, John moved his face so that he was staring at Paul when spurts of hot cum drenched both of their heaving stomachs, the younger's eyes fluttered closed gorgeously and his lips were parted to let out the most sexiest utterance of: "J-J, <em>oh</em>, John.." That could ever be managed by someone in the deepest levels of pleasure that could ever be given to anybody.</p>
<p>John helped Paul ride out his intense orgasm, continuing to rub himself against Paul as the younger man's hips stuttered and jolted wildly due to a bit of overstimulation from the friction. Groaning, John leaned down to bite down on Paul's neck as the younger squirmed and whine underneath him, chanting his fucking name as if it was the only thing he knew. Those sly hands grasping and squeezing at John's backside as he continued to get rutted against like a lucky pillow in the middle of the night. "Feels s-so good, fuck." He gasped out, legs trembling against John's waist before squeezing at his sides when the stimulation continued to become too much.</p>
<p>It was that pretty moan that pushed John on edge, despite all the other pornographic noises Paul made. Breath catching in his throat, and a stammering attempt to say Paul's name, his cum blanketed completely all over the younger's already wet cock along with the poor shirt that had to go through this. Straining a trembling moan against Paul's marked up skin, John's hips stuttered to a hesitant stop when all that came out had finally drifted from him. Paul hugged him close to his body, kissing at John's cheek until the older man pulled his head up from the crook of Paul's neck to meet the boy in a much more civil kiss.</p>
<p>"You came all over my shirt, you idiot." Paul muttered tiredly into the kiss which caused John to laugh, pulling away from him to kiss at the younger's forehead, lifting himself up to look at the mess they made before busting out laughing.</p>
<p>"C'mon, lets go and wash you up."</p>
<p>"My hips hurt." Paul cutely pouted, glancing up at John before eliciting a gasp when he felt the soaked feeling of his shirt pressing against his abdomen. Looking down, a crimson blush dawned on his cheeks when he noticed the pool of cum gathered around his inter thighs and his shirt, dripping onto his actual stomach. John followed his gaze, before meeting Paul's eyes again with a humorous look spreading onto their faces.</p>
<p>"Can I use your shower?" Paul softly asked, looking so fucking cute with his legs still spread and trembling from the afterglow of his orgasm. The shirt that was already a bit big for him looking hotly stained and crumpled from their actions, his hair a bit ruffled, cheeks still flustered, lips swollen from the savage kisses they shared. Paul looked so.. vulnerable. So beautifully vulnerable, and it was killing John.</p>
<p>It was <em>killing</em> John. The whole he dug himself with Paul growing deeper, and fuck — he couldn't breathe. 'I'm such a idiot.' The man thought to himself, feeling his throat close in from the panic of actually accepting the reality of hurting Paul. No matter what way he decided of going through with telling him the truth. John just didn't - shit he didn't know what to do.</p>
<p>"John?" Paul asked, shifting towards the older who snapped back into reality. The boy was basically seated onto his leg, his own bare legs brushing against John's clothed one and his flaccid dick pressed against the man's thigh. It seemed as if Paul was oblivious to how easy he turns John on, even when it's innocently unintentional. "Are you okay baby?"</p>
<p>"I'm okay." John lied, slowly running his hand up Paul's thigh to brush up against the length of his cock, earning himself a barely silent sigh along with a shiver.</p>
<p>Getting his sneaky hand slapped away within seconds, Paul scowled at him. "I'm not letting you get me even more dirty, pervert. My hips are killing me right now trying to keep up with your stamina." He explained, removing himself off of John which did make the older frown from the loss of contact.</p>
<p>"Last time I checked, you're the one who wanted me to touch you."</p>
<p>"Shut up."</p>
<p>Paul trotted away from John and his bed, somehow gripping the ridden underwear he was wearing before John swiped it off. Watching amused, John smiled as Paul adorably looked for his pants with a disgusted slump in his movement from the cold and drying liquid drenching his shirt. "Besides, you still haven't answered my question." The younger uttered, turning his body towards John and glaring cutely at him.</p>
<p>"The shower?" John raised a brow at him, and Paul nodded his head quickly in reply. "Yeah, go ahead and use it. There's extra towels and shit in the pantry, don't use all the hot water because I want to go in too."</p>
<p>Paul blinked, his voice becoming incredibly tiny when he asked. "Where's the pantry?"</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. pump it.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>shits getting deep omg<br/>there’s a lot of open holes &amp; i might have to make a series sooner or later</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was around six in the evening the day Michael and Mimi arrived back from their three interrogative day trip. John greeted them, giving Michael a high-five, smiling in adoration as the seven year old tried to jump up and slap at his hand. "I missed you kid." He fondly said, making Michael's eyes sparkle and an innocent, pure smile spread across his face. "When I get back from work, how about I go and get Paul, then we can go to the movies or something." Mimi looked keen on rejecting that idea, ready to tell her nephew that Michael just got back and he needs time to rewind.</p><p>"Yes! Let's do it Johnny!" Michael exclaimed, jumping up and down on the balls of his little feet as he gripped adorably onto John's pants. "Tonight?"</p><p>Mimi cut in, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder as she stepped up behind Michael. "Tomorrow. Who knows when you'll be coming back." The woman said, a firm but protective tone in her voice as she looked into John's almond shaped eyes. "How's everything?"</p><p>"Bills are paid. Fridge is flooded." John proudly stated, although there was a feeling of guilt spreading through his chest at the actual reason as to why the bills were paid and the fridge was flooded. Throughout the nights when he'd go to Stuart, the man wracked up stacks on top of stacks of money, and although he had some type of fear dwelling inside of him about anyone finding out -- John was fine with selling drugs. It did him good.</p><p>Mimi actually cracked a heart warming smile, glancing observantly around the hygenic situations in the  house before looking back at John with fond eyes that made the man a bit uncomfortable. Fuck. "I'm proud of you John, keep it up."</p><p>"How's Paul?" Michael had suddenly asked, his expression growing a bit more serious which had caught both Mimi and John's attention. "Is he okay?"</p><p>"Paul's doing fine, he's gone off somewhere with a friend of mine." John uttered, giving Michael a reassuring nod. It was true, Pete had reached out to Paul which freaked the raven haired man out because he did not remember giving Pete his number, but John had reminded the boy that Pete was a hacker and it did not matter. In return, Paul pinched the back of his neck and the two ended up playfully wrestling which had transitioned into a twenty minute snogging session. Smiling dazedly at the memory, it was when Michael cleared his throat that kept John down on earth.</p><p>"I want to see him so bad, I miss him."</p><p>"Tomorrow you'll get to see your brother, now go along and dress down so I can fix dinner." Mimi said, which had pleasantly surprised John that she was the one to announce the meetup with Paul. How.. strange. Maybe he shouldn't look into it right now, probably keep it in mind to give him something to think about later on.</p><p>When John stepped out, he wasn't sure whether Mimi would like it or not, but he took her car and drove to the spot where he would usually meet Stuart at. Hopefully enough the man already had the supplies, and it was fucking brilliant how Don never showed up the last few days. Everything has been running smooth so far, and if it weren't for the guilt eating him up as if it were termite that spotted wood, John would be much more ecstatic with the amount of money that was pouring in by selling. Maybe he should just tell Paul what was going on, he couldn't be that upset because he already knew the circumstances of the situation when it came to their financial problems. There was no reason why Paul should be mad at him, and the worst could not come out of it since he promised that it wouldn't go as extreme as breaking up.</p><p>Paul was his world, a sudden crash landing from an angel in disguise, right into the grocery store when John had first laid his eyes on him. So beautiful, lovely, and approachable.</p><p>The phase of the younger man 'hating' him, giving John unusual entertainment whenever Paul would fluster, blush, be confused from the feelings drenching him, and then grow irritated just at the mere presence of the older man.</p><p>All of that dislike, but strong attraction bottling up inside of him until it bursted and blossomed into cautious love. Starting off slow, lingering touches and stares, Paul willingly washing his clothes when it had been rained on, giving John his clothes, and then at the same time keeping his goddamn hoodie. The build up made the auburn haired man fall for him even more, he just wanted to make sure Paul's experience in their relationship was the best one.</p><p>And he will.</p><p>So it was understandable when John basically almost spiraled into a heart attack the next day when Paul came up to him, wearing his jacket, the same jacket he wore the night of him selling with Stuart again.</p><p>"John baby, what is this?" Paul asked, trekking into his kitchen with a small bag of cocaine that had been carelessly left in the pocket of John's jacket. When the older looked up from his phone, and seen his boyfriend holding the bag of fucking cocaine, his knees literally almost buckled and if it weren't for the leverage of the island he was leaning against, he would have definitely fell.</p><p>With cold sweat forming on his forehead and on the back of his neck, John pushed himself off of the island and pranced over towards Paul with a trembling step in his walk. "I don't- um, what is that? Where did this come from?" He cautiously asked, trying his best to cover the shakiness of his voice when Paul had examined it closely. "Let me see."</p><p>Paul wordlessly handed the bag to him, eyebrows furrowing when a bunch of questions began to race through his mind. "Is that sugar or something?"</p><p>"Probably, it's possibly something Stuart forgot. You know how he is and what he does."</p><p>"But this is your jacket. Why is it in there?" Paul had asked tilting his head cutely, the confusion settling in his voice made John's anxiety sky rocket.</p><p>"Me and Stuart trade jackets sometimes." John lied, shoving the bag into his pocket, not noticing how Paul's eyes had slyly followed the movement of his hands.</p><p><em>Interesting</em>.</p><p>Right after those words came out of John's mouth however, Paul looked genuinely offended and that was when John mentally face palmed himself.</p><p>'Why would I say that fuck.' John cursed comedically to himself, immediately reaching out to pull Paul in but the younger seemed to wither away from him, jealously running rapid throughout his body as he sputtered out. "Oh so Stuart wears your stuff too? Okay."</p><p>"Paul listen," John cackled out in a deep laugh reaching forward and pulling the younger towards him, even though he let himself be moved, the look on Paul's face was genuinely annoyed and it only grew more upset. "Its not that serious baby." The older chuckled, brushing his thumb against Paul's sides to massage at his clothed skin.</p><p>Letting out the infamous 'hmph' noise, Paul drew his hands up John's arms and stopped at his biceps to give them a squeeze before continuing to run the sly hands up to his shoulders. "I guess it isn't that serious," He softly uttered with his pretty eyes giving off an intimidatingly, but unintentional deadpanned glare into John's face. "But still, I thought sharing clothes was just an us thing." </p><p>"I'll make it an us thing then." John said, but then he arched his brow when Paul grumbled something audible under his breath about Stuart. "Paul, you can't be jealous of Stuart. He's my best friend, you don't see me getting jealous of you and Geo. Especially when you two start cuddling right in front of me."</p><p>"I'm not jealous!" Paul plucked gently at John's ear, which had resulted in the older narrowing his eyes at him. "Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. The cavern must have your head in the clouds." He continued in a harsh voice that didn't scare anyone, but his fingers were caressing the spot he flicked John at while the other man laughed aloud.</p><p>"You're so cute." John told him, and Paul smiled a bit while the older's hand began to feel at his lower back. "Oh, and what did you and Pete talk about?"</p><p>Paul's face had dropped, his head lowering a bit so that John wouldn't see how upset he looked. "Just showed me some things about my child hood, and the reports, you know." He explained in a small, somber tone of voice that John didn't recognize. It kind of made him concerned. "I really don't want to talk about that right now, it's very tough."</p><p>"I won't force anything out of you baby." John said, tilting Paul's head up so he could kiss his cheek. The younger's eyes fluttered when the feeling of John's soft lips pressed lightly against his cheek, and a blush invaded both of his cheeks. He felt so soft and fluffy around this man, gosh it was too good of a feeling to be true.</p><p>"I'll talk about it later I guess." Paul said, moving closer so that he could snuggle his face into John's chest. The older man held him close, running his hand up and down Paul's backside as they stood there in the quiet kitchen. So that was what had Paul off standish today, him being a bit more quiet and kept to himself since he came back from Pete's.</p><p>"Oh yeah," John perked up, "Michael's back. He wants us to go to the movies today actually."</p><p>Paul's face brightened just a bit, a smile forming as he pulled away from John to look up at him with glistening eyes. "Really? He's back?" He asked, voice hitching in excitement at the thought of going out to spend time with his younger brother. "I'd love to go."</p><p>---</p><p>Michael, Paul and John all flopped on top of each other. Paul being sandwiched in between John and Michael as the three boys laid adorably mounted on the bed, the youngest being on top. John grunted at the amount of weight on his body as he scrolled through the website where he would purchase movie tickets on, "Fuck." He muttered before laughing softly under his breath. The movie suggestions weren't exactly appealing to him since nothing new was out.</p><p>"I want to see that one." Michael pointed out, his little finger pointing at the Incredibles 2 movie which was surprisingly playing in theaters again. "I haven't seen it yet."</p><p>"Its not as good as the first one honestly, but you were too young to remember it." John had said, tapping the Incredibles 2 suggestion, looking into the prices even though it really doesn't matter, he can afford it. Some lad gave him more than he bargained for after fulfilling his fix of adderall. Stuart even proposed that John gave him half of the grand, but the younger was against it much to Stuart's demand.</p><p>"I haven't watched neither." Paul said, his chin resting on John's shoulder which made his breath tickle against the older's cheek, unintentionally making John blush. "I've watched clips, but not the whole movies."</p><p>"Dad showed me the first one." Michael said somberly as if it were a bad memory, it kind of was because he remembered his father talking through most of the movie, being on the phone with his goons possibly, and then laughing throughout the important parts.</p><p>"Paul you need to watch the first one before the second." John complained, there was a intelligible pout in his voice that made the second youngest roll his eyes.</p><p>"Does it really matter?"</p><p>"It does Paul, you can't watch the sequel before watching the first one. That's like..breaking the law of watching movies." Michael said, his voice sheltering an exaggerated whine, and honestly  it was fucking adorable. The kid had then leaned up while John and Paul continued to drift through movies, rolling Paul's hair in between his little hands so that it could hilariously stick up on top of his head.</p><p>"Why don't we go and see Rosemary's baby?" John had asked, which had only earned him groans of disgust from the two McCartney's stacked on top of his backside. Kissing his teeth, John grunted out: "What's wrong with Rosemary's baby?"</p><p>"Its old and boring." Michael and Paul critqued in unison, it made John abruptly shift onto one side so that the two of them fell off of his back with shrieks and squeals that emitted from their mouths.</p><p>"Its a thriller movie that has a good plot, and it takes place at the Dakota which is hands-down probably the most haunted building in New York. It is not old and boring."</p><p>Paul huffed, "Its old."</p><p>"It is not-" John paused, his face scrunching up in a frown which made Michael and Paul bust out laughing at his halt in speech. "Its not boring." He had then softly uttered with a blush on his face, he shook his head and began looking back at his phone, scrolling through the suggestions of movies while the two boys continued to laugh.</p><p>"Hey, I was just kidding." Paul said when he noticed how quiet John had gotten, sitting up on his elbow and leaning forward to kiss sloppily at the side of his boyfriend's face before getting attacked by his younger brother.</p><p>"No kissing!"</p><p>John glanced over at the two of them as he slowly wiped Paul's wet kisses off of his cheek. This was it, this was the cutest brotherly duo John had ever seen together, Paul McCartney and Michael McCartney. To be honest, both of them meant a lot to John if he came to think of it. If anything happened to Michael, he'd be just as devastated as if anything had ever happened to Paul. Sad thing is, John could not help what happened to Paul before he stepped into the picture. But he could help Michael, keep the seven year old safe and all, especially from his father or anyone else seeking to hurt him.</p><p>Mimi stepped inside of the room, her eyes widening at the sight of three people occupying the bed until she figured out who they were. "What is going on?"</p><p>"Hi Mimi!" Michael politely greeted, releasing Paul from the playful headlock he had him in. John glanced at his aunt, and squinted at her so he could read her figure more observantly. Fuck he really needed some damn glasses.</p><p>"What is it Mimi?" John arched a brow at her, and then looked back at his phone to read on at more movie suggestions. "We're searching for movies to go and see tonight. Do you have any suggestions?"</p><p>Paul only stared quietly at the woman, feeling as if it was unnecessary to offer her any greetings.</p><p>"Before you go. I wanted to ask.. did you take my car to work with you yesterday?" Mimi asked coolly, something tense in her voice as she scavenged for an answer. John felt his heart speed up a little bit faster, and a tremor course throughout his body that Paul had immediately noticed. Fuck, what was— did he miss something? What did he leave in the car?</p><p>"Yeah, I did. What's wrong?"</p><p>Mimi tilted her head, eyes piercing into John's as she crossed her arms. "Mind telling me where you work at again?" She had asked, a sweet type of voice that John knew was coated with purified rage.</p><p>Paul and Michael exchanged gazes towards each other, a growing confused look in both of their eyes.</p><p>"The cavern." John exhaled, making up lies as he went on. "Some guy had to borrow something so I let them inside of my car, and—"</p><p>"John, you know what? Fuck it. Just go and have fun tonight."</p><p>••</p><p>"John.." Paul called out softly, clutching onto the popcorn as if someone was going to snatch it away from him and run. John had looked up from his phone and over at him, leaning against aside from the bathroom door where Michael had to go in and use the toilet before they went to their theater. The younger man observed John's face for a bit, his pretty eyes darting across his features before asking a question that made his older boyfriend's heart plummet. "Why did your aunt look so mad at you? Also why did she question you on where you work at?"</p><p>"That's how she is. Don't even let it get to you." John had bluntly said, shoving his phone in his pocket, his arms began to cross over his chest as his eyes resisted meeting Paul's for once. "Let's just enjoy our night yeah? We shouldn't let her ruin our night. Got it?" He asked, trying to convince himself more than he could convince Paul.</p><p>"Is there something you aren't telling me?" Paul asked, ignoring what came out of John's mouth since he basically ignored the second question. Growing a bit annoyed, he furrowed his eyebrows and let a grown crease at his beautiful face. "You've been acting really weird lately whenever we bring up your job. What's going on with that?" He questioned, and with John's silence it only made him more irritated.</p><p>"Paul.. there's nothing going on. I told you already." John said, his voice was much more firmer and he felt his own anxious irritation growing. "Like I said let's just enjoy the night. What she said doesn'tmatter, why are you getting so worked up about it?"</p><p>Pausing for a moment, and completely noticing how intense John's tone had gotten, it only made Paul grow both offended, ad well as mad. "Because it involves you. Like I said before, you're on my list of worries and if something bad is happening then—"</p><p>"Nobody asked you to worry about me in the first place Paul."</p><p>It slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it, and from the look of hurt immediately becoming all over written all over the younger's face, John quickly regretted saying it. So softening his voice, he tried to conjure a quick apology. "I'm sorry Paul, I just.." He trailed off, watching as Paul had pressed his lips together in a firm line and turned his head away from John with a genuinely upset look blanketing his beautiful face.</p><p>Fuck. He wish he could take back what he said.</p><p>Before John could continue, Michael emerged from the bathroom with a happy smile on his face. "Okay! I'm ready! Let's go guys!" He cheered, walking over towards John and Paul, grasping at their hands, tugging them forward.</p><p>Making their way into their assigned theater, Michael rushed towards the middle row in excitement after Paul had handed him the large bucket of popcorn. The raven haired man was quiet, an unreadable expression on his face, but John knew that he was pissed off - and it was quite clear when the older tried to reach out, softly grasping at his hand but was understandably shunned when Paul moved his hand away from the touch.</p><p>This was when John realized that he was going through one of his first serious relationship arguments. It felt off, and he didn't like it at all. Especially for a relationship that was usually filled with gentle kisses, laughter and hugs from both parties — but he fucked that up. Paul was upset at him, furious even, and just from the way his eyebrows were knitted into the cutest but intimidating frown whenever the big screen flashed onto them, John could tell this was really bad.</p><p>Even Michael, who noticed how mad Paul was decided to not really converse with him throughout the movie, only sharing whispers with John whenever he was excited at a certain part. The movie they ultimately decided on watching was Incredibles 2, even after they both disagreed on Paul not being able to see the first movie. It was the only option where the vote was even for all three of them.</p><p>Throughout the movie, Paul's mood did seem to lighten a bit, especially with the scenes that included 'Mr. Incredible' trying to keep his kids under control with the help of Edna Mode for the youngest baby. That beautiful smile came through, along with soft laughter at the scene where Violet sprayed water out through her nose when her crush greeted her at the dinner table. All in all, throughout the second half of the movie things improved but Paul still hadn't shared any exchange of words with the older man.</p><p>By the end, Michael fell asleep and Paul had quietly picked him up settling the sleeping boy on his hip. John was wiping the excess popcorn out of the seats, making the job much more easier for the janitor since they were basically the only people there, along with a couple and some friends who sat not too far away from them. Paul brushed past John, making his way towards the exit with some type of slow walk as if he was waiting for John to catch up with him, even though the man was mad. John did catch up soon enough, walking along side Paul with the half empty bucket of popcorn in his left arm.</p><p>The walk was silent, kind of awkward, tension was brewing but Paul had a soft look on his face unlike the angry expression he had beforehand. John took advantage of this, bringing his right hand towards the younger's backside and softly placing it there, he guided Paul towards the doors that lead to the outside. "It's probably cold. So we should hurry to the car. Okay? I'll let you two borrow my jacket."</p><p>Paul looked at Michael briefly, and then moved his unreadable gaze over towards John, murmuring a soft. "Yeah, sure I guess."</p><p>••</p><p>When they dropped Michael off at Mimi’s, John made sure to go back to Paul’s home even though it was probably what they originally weren’t about to do.</p><p>After texting Stuart that he might not be able to make it tonight, John opened the door to Paul's room after getting a scolding from George when he told the younger man about what the couple argued about tonight. His face was flushed, and ears were burning when the man had slapped at the back of his head. "Listen, I'm going to be at my parents tonight because my mom is sick. Ringo won't bother you two unless he's concerned about something. I want you to comfort Paul and make him feel better you dumbass." The man spat, glaring at John who only nodded his head with a drained look on his face.</p><p>Paul was exiting out of the bathroom when John walked in, his hair a little wet and that wonderful body covered with an oversized long sleeved beige shirt. It flowed down to his mid thighs, loose had been around his neck and presenting the gorgeous collarbones. The lamp letting the glimmers of light display the features of his soft face, long eyelashes casting shadows over his flushed cheeks from the heat of the shower he had just taken. John let his eyes skim over the soft pink, pouty lips of Paul, down to the smoothened skin of his neck — fuck he looked so irresistible, bewitching, <em>captivating</em>, downright enchanting. Breathing heavily, John closed the door and leant his body against it, capturing Paul's attention. Those God given eyes gazing directly into his own, making John gulp.</p><p>Paul stared at him, eyes wandering amongst John's handsome face a hand reaching up to run through his wet hair. John wanted to run his hands through his hair, fuck he wanted Paul. He wanted to touch him all over. "Are you expecting to sleep with me?" The boy asked, a smirk forming on his face despite the anger he felt rushing through him at the sight of his boyfriend.</p><p>"Yes." John somehow managed, slumping against the door. "Is that a problem?"</p><p>"Yeah. I'm mad at you, and your presence is annoying me. Go sleep with Ringo or something."</p><p>John pushed himself off of the door, stumbling over towards the beauty that was actually fucking wrapping around his head. "No." Was the last thing he growled out before he made his way towards Paul, causing the younger to be caught off guard when he was suddenly pulled in for a heated kiss, John eating his mouth and hands grappling onto his waist.</p><p>Even though he was still pissed off, Paul couldn't help but to kiss back when John had him at the edge of the cliff like this. Gathering his control of the kiss, Paul winged both of his arms around John's neck, suddenly feeling his back touch up against the wall all the way to the other side of his room. 'How the fuck did he— you know what? Never mind.' Paul shut down his thoughts, a shiver running through his body when John began to close his teeth down on his bottom lip, hard enough to trigger a spark of pain that made him wince in delight. Their tongues shuffled together, brushing graciously amongst each other, chasing dominance but John seemed to be at the finish line already.</p><p>Pulling away, tilting Paul's head up within his palm and moving closer so that their bodies pressed more against each other's. "You're so fucking gorgeous baby. I'm- I'm sorry for what I said. Please," John paused and pressed his leg in between Paul's causing the younger male to gasp, bearing down shakily onto his thigh, he was already dizzily fogged with an intense amount of heat coursing throughout his body. They haven't even done the bare minimum yet.</p><p>"John, I—" A trembling moan interrupted him when John leaned forward, suckling on that pretty neck hard enough to leave an actual fucking bruise. What he said had hurt Paul to the core, but the way John was devouring his skin right now with that smooth tongue made him shove the words to the back of his head. Removing Paul's arms from a round his neck, the older pinned him to either side of his head which made the other man gasp, eyes widening a bit.</p><p>"Do you forgive me baby?"</p><p>Stubbornly, Paul had forced a scowl on his face. "No."</p><p>John drew in a breath, sunk to his knees, bringing Paul's hands down to his sides and keeping them trapped against the wall. "Come on baby," He removed one hand from Paul's wrist, suggestively gliding his large palm up his soft and bare legs that were revealed gloriously in this glimmer of light. Paul's breath hitched, his eyebrows rising into a curious furrow giving him an unintentionally innocent look that made John bite down on his bottom lip. "Can't be mad at me forever, can you?"</p><p>Paul was about to reply with a snarky comeback until he felt John's warm hand touch his semi-hard cock through the thin cloth of his briefs. With a gentle sigh, he continued to fight against the foreign feeling of wanting to be pleasured and buck his hips down against the wall to escape John's hand. "<em>Ss</em>—" The younger hissed through clenched teeth, eyes fluttering to a gentle close when the naughty hand began to grope his dick into full on hardness.</p><p>"Answer me." John had lowly muttered under his breath, his body actually aching from the growing heat stimulating in his crotch. Especially when he noticed his hand getting wet from the formulating precum gathering around at the sensitive tip, John took notice and experimentally brushed the pad of his index finger against it. Thrashing around a bit, pushed forward and let out a significantly erotic moan that resembled John's name, desperately chasing the addicting feeling unashamed and hot.</p><p>"You must want me to stop."</p><p>"Fuck you." Paul sputtered out, voice rasping and cheeks flushing as John brushed his fingers, feather light, against the prominent shaft of the younger's cock which was straining against the clothed trap wrapped around it.</p><p>'<em>Oh fuck yes.</em>' John thought to himself, moving his other hand from Paul's wrist he grasped at the waistband of the underwear and whisked it down to the boy's ankles. The younger's knees almost gave way, his cheeks blushing a deep red, and his cock throbbing gracefully, straining up long and majestic against his stomach from under the oversized shirt draping against it. John licked his lips, Paul was flustered but willing nonetheless, soon enough he felt some of his weight being hoisted off of the floor since one leg had suddenly been perched onto John's right shoulder.</p><p>"What are—" Paul was cut off with the feeling of lips wrapping around the head of his cock, eyes fluttering to the back of his head and long lashes brushing against the air gorgeously. "Ooh, <em>oh</em>, shit." He sighed softly into the air, the feeling of John's mouth working up and down his length, tongue caressing the head of his member while the older began to caress his inner thighs. Paul was growing dizzy, not even knowing whether to buck into the mouth or push John off and slap him in the face for trying to manipulate him into forgiving him by sucking him off.</p><p>This wasn't John's first time sucking anyone off, so it wasn't surprising to him how quickly Paul seemed to lose all control of anything. Pulling off occasionally, twisting his hand along the length and making Paul's hips move around erratically as if they had their own mind and if they were confused on what to do. "Talk to me baby. Come on, what happened to that smart little mouth hm? Speak to me." John said, going fucking crazy when Paul's chest heaved and an actual fucking whimper escaped his swollen lips.</p><p>"Feels good." Paul struggled to make out in a fragile voice, moving a trembling hand to John's cheek, and caressing it. "I forgive you, fucking idiot." He whispered, before letting the pleasure take over again when John took him back into his hot mouth for the second time, sending him into an actual frenzy of pleasure. "John, <em>John</em>, John," He chanted as John sped up his movements, "Wait fuck - <em>wait</em>."</p><p>With his mouth still wrapped around him, John had looked up at Paul with a flush in his cheeks. "Hm?"</p><p>"My legs h-hurt. Can we-" Paul had paused, cheeks flushing from embarrassment and the pleasure soaring through him when John purposely let his tongue lap against the tip of his cock. Paul's face scrunched up, his breath hitching as he sighed out a weak and shaking. "Bed."</p><p>Pulling away, John slurped up his saliva and Paul's precum, nodding his head. "Of course baby."</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. jump.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With that, he released Paul and settled him down to the floor carefully in case the younger's trembling legs would give out.</p><p>Paul purposely pinched at John's bicep, shooting a glare at the older for getting him so worked up. Both in arousal and in anger, all in one, bunched in the short time period of today. Even though he was willingly laying down on the bed, the back of his head and neck nestled against the pillow with his arms, along with his legs splayed out gorgeously - Paul was still feeling some type of way. John basically just ostracized the fact of Paul worrying about him, seemingly annoyed that the younger would fuss about his actions and all. It really did catch Paul off gu—</p><p>"Ah," He hiccuped, before bringing a soft slap down on the head of John Lennon. "That hurt!"</p><p>John absently ran his tongue over the bite mark he placed on Paul's thigh in apology, causing Paul to shiver. Heaving away, John let his eyes wander along Paul's milky inner thighs inspecting and analyzing them as if he was reading a descriptive paragraph. "You're so beautiful here baby," He softly muttered, moving a hand along the skin that felt smooth under his warm palms. Paul hummed and attempted to close his legs, just to fuck with John, but then there was a tightened grip that hoisted them back open.</p><p>"Stop staring and do something."</p><p>John wrapped his fingers around Paul's cock in reprimand, smirking when the younger elicited a quiet gasp as he jerked him off carelessly slow. Watching closely as Paul's cock seemed to drip self lubrication onto his fist as he stroked him, John silently leaned forward and ran the flat of his tongue along the head, capturing the sweet taste of his younger boyfriend. Paul was going insane, panting breaths and twitching fingers that withered their way through the forrest of hair on top of John's head.</p><p>"Mm," John deeply hummed, mouthing down on Paul's dick again, swallowing the length passionately as his eyes fluttered to a close. Soon enough, he felt Paul's shaking thighs close around him and press against his head as the pleasure increased tenfold. Moaning aloud now, unashamed and fucking blanketed in immense pleasure, Paul's voice was cracking with high pitched broken cries of his boyfriend's name. </p><p>Fucking his hips slowly against John's moving mouth, Paul removed his grip of his hair and brung it to the sheets, pulling, squeezing as he withered around. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He chanted shakily, movements abruptly halting as a sensational shiver coursed pleasantly throughout his body signifying an upcoming orgasm, it caused him to open his mouth gorgeously and a pornographically long moan to withdraw from that beautiful throat.</p><p>It also tipped John over the edge, hearing that sound come from Paul made him grip at the thighs clenched around his head, and pull them apart again so he could back away from the extremely erect, and dripping cock. "You sound so pretty."</p><p>Paul twisted and moved his stinging hand, aching from the tight grip on the sheets to wrap his trembling fingers around his shaft, needing friction, and something else. The sleeves of his shirt slipped down his wrist covering that beautiful bracelet, and almost covering his whole hand as he ran his hand up and down the throbbing dick. "J-J," The older squeezed his thigh in encouragement, grounding his other hand against his own clothed member as the younger man tried to make out his sentence. "John, t-touch me please."</p><p>"You can do it baby, come on, cum for me." John requested, circling the tip of his index his finger against the tip of Paul's cock which made the man's hips stutter against his fist from the sensation. A groan of both exhilaration leaving his mouth, with relative overstimulation causing him to toss against the sheets again. Smirking, John continued to play with the sensitive head until the bead of cum debuted from the glistening slit, the panting moans coming from Paul subsiding into soft trembling sighs.</p><p>'Ah, contractions.' John took a dare to glance down at that pink little hole, untouched but clenching as Paul trembled from the touches of pleasure against him. Fuck. The auburn haired man shoved the thoughts of what it would feel like inside of that little hole to the back of his head, transitioning his hand around the head of Paul's cock to rub it gently while the younger stroked himself languidly.</p><p>When Paul did cum, the movements of his hand stopped and his hips grounded against the bed as if he was trying to escape the strong feeling. The sighs pushed up into moans again, chanting John's name gorgeously, stuttering at the 'J' often which made the older smile from how cute it was seeing Paul become one-hundred percent undone and stammering over his fucking name. It was equally adorable and so hot. It made John know that he was the one that made Paul cum, shake and moan out like this. Paul came in long spurts, painting John's hand and palm which was still grazing over his extremely sensitive head.</p><p>"John," Paul literally whimpered, squeaking cutely while trying to twist his hips away from the still-moving hand that was giving his dick too much pleasure. Gosh he looked so flustered, so fucking sexy and breathtaking, John purposely kept moving his hand as Paul thrashed against the bed, head being thrown back against the pillow - the beige shirt he was wearing becoming more loose from the rough movements of its owner. "John, <em>oh fuck</em>, John," He gasped, feeling his eyes water from the painfully fucking good overstimulation. Taking notice of the glistening wet look of Paul's eyes, John had smirked.</p><p>That was also when he concluded that he wanted to make Paul cum again.</p><p>••</p><p>"So I heard that you two made up? That's good." Ringo said, sipping at his orange juice with a red blush on his face. There's no doubt that he heard all of it, and to be honest he never would have thought a pretty face like Paul's could withstand such a dirty action.</p><p>John had nodded his head, with a smirk on his face. His arms crossed over his chest, and his back pressing against the chair once he had finished his food, it was giving off a look that made him seem inferior to everyone at the table. To be frank, that was how he honestly felt. Paul whom was quietly eating some of the breakfast that they went to go and buy from Dunkin' donuts, only glared over at John with a flustered look on his own face.</p><p>The way that man touched him last night still had his body trembling a little bit, and the pink flush in both of his cheeks presented. Paul's voice was a bit gone too, especially the second time when John decided to continue his ministrations and push Paul to actually crying from how fucking good it felt. The younger couldn't help himself when he was begging for John to not stop, saying that man's name as if it was the only noun in his vocabulary, fuck. Maybe next time Paul would be bold enough to show John something that feels ten times better than jerking himself off, like fingering himself, but he only did that on rare occasions. Oh yeah, John's fingers inside of him would — fuck, it made his still trembling legs clench together under the table just from the mere thought.</p><p>Still after all of this, he was mad at John. Well, not really mad but very upset at him for what he said.</p><p>'Get over it, don't be over dramatic.' Paul thought to himself, staring intently at his eggs with a frown on his face. Noticing the look on his boyfriend's face, John had stopped his conversation with Ringo and turned to the younger man with a concerned face. "Baby what's wrong? Are you not hungry?" He softly asked, brushing strands of Paul's hair out of his face. "Did I go too far last night?" He continued with a much more lower voice to not clue Ringo in on their conversation.</p><p>"No, it was fine. You were fine." Paul softly replied, truthfully. To be honest Paul was a bit conflicted as to what he actually wanted. Whether he wanted John to touch him again, or to confront him even though he told the older man that he forgave him. If only George was here.</p><p>"Are you okay Paul?" Ringo asked, noticing how John was basically pouring over the younger man like a worried mother.</p><p>That's when Paul furrowed his eyebrows, not even noticing what was making them concern. He had thought he felt fine, but his face would betray him and show his emotions. "I'm fine, why are you two so worried?"</p><p>"Because you're my boyfriend. Of course I'm going to worry about you." John had retorted, and Ringo smiled fondly at him, nodding his head as if he was absently agreeing with the auburn haired man. </p><p>Before he could stop himself Paul was already spitting it out, "No one required you to worry about me. You would understand that." He cooly said, catching John completely off guard. Turning to look at John, narrowing his eyes into a cold glare, he added on. "You said it yourself, right?" And with that, he pushed himself up onto his shoes, grasping at his breakfast with quickness, hurrying out of the dining room.</p><p>John gaped for a couple of long seconds, panic washing over him as he immediately made his move to stand up and chase after him, but Ringo had swiftly stopped him with a tight grip on his wrist. "John, wait. Just leave him alone."</p><p>"What? He's upset at me still, I need to talk to him." John growled trying to jerk his arm away, but the blue eyed man only tightened his grip even more around the younger's wrist. "What the hell? Ringo let me go."</p><p>"Yes, Paul is upset. But it's a good idea to just separate, let him get his space, because what you said to him obviously hurt him a lot."</p><p>John's face had softened, his guilt replacing the animosity towards Richard. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt his baby's feelings. Then try to bribe him back by sucking him off, it made him feel disgusting and extremely selfish. As much as he hates being apart from Paul, it did seem like a good idea to leave him alone before things just take a sudden turn for the worst.</p><p>Sitting down with a pout on his face, he looked over at Richard who went back to eating the rest of his food. "What do you think I could do to make him not mad at me?"</p><p>"Well, I've been in my fair share of relationships, and when my partner would get mad at me.. I'd buy them food or something nice. Food usually works." Ringo told him, a gentle smile forming on his face as he let his thoughts talk for him. "Or just letting them come around."</p><p>"Noted, buy Paul some food and let him come around."</p><p>"Yeah!" Ringo gleamed, shooting his arms in the air, wiggling the fingers of his hands while his ocean eyes glistened with everlasting happiness.</p><p>'Ringo has a contagious smile, and he's adorable. Where did they find him?' John questioned to himself, a soft smile on his face as he looked at Richard going back to happily eating. George has got to be involved with him, if he lets this perfect opportunity slide it would be John's turn to lecture the younger about his relationships.</p><p>Maybe he could spend half of his day with Ringo, there was no harm in that. He had to meet up with Stuart later on though since he missed a critical day, however he had to meet up with him earlier though, around five o'clock in the afternoon other than six or seven. Stuart made a last ditch effort to convince John to stop because where they were going was around the same spot where they first had went, with Don and all of that rambunctious shit.</p><p>Before he left though, John went up to Paul's room and opened the door to see the younger fast asleep at the opposite side of his bed, a soft pillow being bunched up against his cheek. John let his eyes skim over the younger's body, he was dressed in John's favorite color of dark green which had suited him brilliantly even though the clothes were house-clothes. Paul looked too good today, too good for him to be avoiding John and making him really sad. Originally, he was going to ask Paul if he could borrow his newly bought car since Mimi wanted to make things incredibly difficult ever since she tried to confront him about his job. Walking over towards Paul, John leaned down and rested his lips against the younger's forehead, before mumbling: "I love you." Against the boy's skin, moving away and glancing around for the keys.</p><p>Oh wait, you press the start button and it starts.</p><p>John blinked, cursed at himself for being born poor and stupid, then went on to leave out of the home, telling Ringo that he was going off to the cavern.</p><p>••</p><p>Ringo looked at Paul who tiredly entered the living room, climbing on top of the couch the older man was laying on, then he halted. "Can I cuddle you?"</p><p>Smiling, the blue eyed man nodded. Paul hummed and climbed on top of Ringo, dropping himself down at the side of him so that he could move his arms around the older's torso and bury his face into his chest. It seemed as if Ringo was at least an inch shorter than him, which made it much more easier to pull him in for a warm cuddle. "You're like a koala." Ringo giggled, combing his fingers through Paul's thick hair causing the younger to hum, half asleep from the amazing nap he unfortunately woke up from.</p><p>The two of them looked like kittens.</p><p>"Where's John?" Paul questioned, voice adorably raspy, sounding more awake after a couple of minutes of dozing off, he had his head up and his lidded eyes were staring into Ringo's.</p><p>"He went to work at the cavern."</p><p>Paul stifled a laugh, and clicked his tongue, "Is that what he told you?"</p><p>Ringo had nodded his head, and tilted his head at Paul with a genuinely confused look on his face. "Yes. Do you think he's lying?"</p><p>"To be frank with you. I don't really know. He's been acting weird when it comes to his job, and it's frustrating me that he's not telling me anything. Then when I confront him about it, he gets mad at me when all I want to do is make sure he's fucking safe." Paul spat, sitting up so that his weight really wasn't depended on Ringo, "Like what the hell is wrong with you?"</p><p>"I think.. John is going through something that he may not want to talk about." Ringo said, sitting up as well a she continued before Paul could ask him what he meant. "Maybe he's so focused on how you feel, he doesn't want to seem 'weak' or anything when it comes to his problems."</p><p>Paul's expression had softened into a concerned one, as well as his voice. "I wouldn't think he's weak. John's the toughest man I know."</p><p>Ringo nodded. "Thats what you think, but he doesn't know that. John's mentality is somewhat linked to selflessness when it comes to people he cares about, and to be honest that's either a good or bad thing. He seems like the type to take it to the extreme."</p><p>Yeah, John was selfless alright. Spending the last of his money on Paul, and even his friends. Hell he was even the one that bought the Dunkin' Donuts. John would never let Paul pay for things when it came to whoever bought whatever - and would go to the extreme since John lost his last job because of that. So even with that knowledge, Paul did think it would be possible for John to be lying to him about his recent job which could be something that was not the cavern.</p><p>So if it wasn't that.. what could it..</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Ringo blinked as Paul's lips parted open, his eyes widening as a horrific realization began to dawn on him. "What? Paul what's wrong?"</p><p>Closing his mouth for a few seconds before parting his lips again, he looked at Ringo with a glint of some type of unreadable anger? Or betrayal? "What time is it?" The man asked, trying his best to keep his voice steady and mind in tact before he slips into some type of coma.</p><p>"It's at least eight now. You was knocked out for three ho-" Ringo gasped when Paul pulled him up and off of the couch by his wrist, some renewed strength that was correlated to the stinging stimulation of pure betrayal brushing against the veins of his nervous system.</p><p>However, him being scared to actual fucking death was the actual feeling coursing throughout his body. There was a need of confirmation of his realization. He needs to go to Mimi's, find out what had her pale in the face with wicked fury in her eyes, and then he needs to pull Ringo along to the cavern, give John a benefit of a doubt.</p><p>---</p><p>"We've been out long enough. I want to go home." John whined when Stuart pulled the lad into the club, it was dark and crowded with young teens, young adults around their age. The Cavern. John's so called job where Stuart had dragged him at to actually grant the both of them big bucks that could last them for at least two months. This place was a hot spot, and after selling a minimal supply today, they'd be fed enough with big pockets occupied with money.</p><p>"Really now? Last time I checked, you could have opted out of this whole thing." Stuart said in a fast paced manner, pulling John through the subtly grinding bodies, and the fast music which was coincidentally Watermelon sugar by Harry Styles. "No one is asking you to be here."</p><p>John straightened up, walking aside Stuart so he wouldn't have to be dragged through the club. "Sorry. What are we doing here anyway?" He asked, looking around as the two men somehow made their way over to the bathroom's, there was a couple of blokes leaning against the wall with their hands in the pockets of their jackets, looking suspicious. 'Must be another group of dealers,' John thought to himself when he met one of their eyes, staring long enough for them to stand up straight as if they were going to approach him.</p><p>"This is a big spot that could last us for awhile. It's dangerous, but obviously that's not stopping you. Is it?" Stuart queried, passive aggressive and seemingly annoyed how John still decided on being here, doing crazy shit like this all because he doesn't want to ask Paul for a check.</p><p>"Don't start this shit again." John muttered, following Stuart as they trailed along side of the wall, it seemed as if the older noticed how the other druggies were glaring at them.</p><p>"There's people that don't like me here, that's the downside of being here. So let's be on our best behavior, and stay with me. Yeah?" Stuart grumbled, John didn't care to respond though.</p><p>"How long are we going to be here?" John asked, glancing over at the blokes leaning against the wall with their mean eyes locked onto the two moving bodies of John and Stuart.</p><p>"Shortly, all we have to do is stand and they'll come around. Everybody knows me, they'll come to me and I'm pretty sure your name is going around too."</p><p>Pausing his walking, and reaching out to grasp at the older, and gripping onto Stuart's wrist, John huffed at him. "What the hell do you mean?"</p><p>"Listen people will remember you John, that's one of the perks and cons of drug deali-.. oh fuck." Stuart's eyes hadwidened a bit before narrowing down into an annoyed glare as he pulled John towards him since the other was still holding onto his wrist, basically moving the younger behind him when a shadow casted over his face from the dim lights of the club.</p><p>"What?" John made out, until he looked up and saw Don with a sadistic smile on his face.</p><p>"Hey pretty face, and hey Stuart."</p><p>"Hi Don." Stuart faked a smile, reaching his free hand out to shake hands with the bigger man. John was gripping the fuck out of Stuart's wrist, his almond shaped eyes wide as saucers and his lips parted when Don skimmed his gaze over his face.</p><p>Oh fuck no.</p><p>"You come here often Stu?" Don lowly asked, running a tongue over his lips before removing his gaze from John to look back at Stuart. "I haven't seen you here in a long time."</p><p>Stuart cleared his throat to hid the grunt he was about to let out when John fearfully dug his nails into his skin, shrugging it off he managed out: "Eh, few times. How about you?"</p><p>"Fifth time."</p><p>'Of fucking course it had to be the 'fifth' time he came to this club. Just like it was the 'fifth' time he came to that damn mall.' Stuart was going insane from the tension, and the death grip John had on his wrist, it was killing him holy shit. Don had slightly moved forward, John took a whole step back and so did Stuart. "Hey pretty face, got any goodies for me?"</p><p>"Nah." John grunted, wanting to take the idea of giving Don drugs and throw it out the window. There was enough to give him, but still there was no fucking way he was getting groped again. Looking elsewhere, near the exit, John's heart almost fell through his ribcage when Don took another step forward and ran his hand down the younger's arm.</p><p>"Doesn't have to be drugs you know."</p><p>"What?" Stuart shrieked, moving the large arm away from John who was as stiff as a deer in the headlights. "Don stop it. Leave him alone, he doesn't like that man. What's your problem?"</p><p>"I was just fucking with him." Don chuckled, loud and booming that made John release an exhale through his mouth. "Isn't that right sweet face?"</p><p>This is sick. Stuart's right, he needs to get out of here.</p><p>"Aye Don, get some of this. For free by the way. It's new." Stuart slapped a heavy pencil bag into Don's hand, before pulling John close to him and rushing over towards their spot which was surprisingly still isolated as if it were reserved for them.</p><p>"How are you friends with him?" John had snarkily asked, feeling somewhat relaxed when the music transitioned into slower type of melody.</p><p>Stuart rolled his eyes, "I'm not friends with my clients. I have to be nice to them John, if you aren't then boom. I'm dead."</p><p>"What the fuck?"</p><p>Turning to the scared young man, Stuart patted his cheek. "I won't let him touch you John, and you won't get hurt by anyone. As long as you stay here with me."</p><p>Well that demand was going well until John went to use the club bathroom, once he walked inside he was faced with the unwelcoming aura of the competition dealers. Once the door came to a close, all four of them looked over at John, the same man that sized them up when him and Stuart walked past each other. There was short guy who was around Paul's height, but he was muscular with light green curls sitting on the sink, looking disgustingly intimidating. There was three other taller ones, wearing all black, their hands in their pockets, except the one with blonde hair playing with his lighter. John wasn't scared of them though, they all looked around his age or possibly younger, he honestly didn't give a fuck. This was Stuart's crowd, whatever disagreement they had going on doesn't matter to him.</p><p>As long as they didn't try to fuck with him.</p><p>John made his way to the toilet, unzipping his pants and ignoring the whispers that were being tossed around between the group.</p><p>Well, guessed that he spoke too soon.</p><p>Sighing when he heard the sounds of shoes scraping towards him, the man paused for a bit and then zipped his pants back up, rolling his shoulders to get the kinks out, he clenched his jaw. Ears perking at the edged feeling of uncomfortable warmth close in on his backside, John knew that someone was behind him, and they were preying on him with menace.</p><p>"Hey buddy."</p><p>There was a specific metallic sound that rung in John's ears and with perfect timing, he winged his elbow back hitting the green curly haired man square in the face, fracturing the bridge of his nose from the excessive force of the hit. Immediately, he was jumped by the other three as the green curly haired one was leaking fluids through his nose, dazed, off balance and withered from the blow to his face.</p><p>John was swinging his hardened fists around with all of his might, he punched one of them in the throat causing them to back up making choking sounds. An arm winged around his neck, and a fist jabbed roughly into his side causing him to elicit a groan of pain, another one punched relentlessly at his gut, not stopping at all. "Son of a bitch broke Claude's nose!" He yelled, throwing more punches at the man's body, connecting his fist with John's ribs and torso. The pain was overlapping his senses, along with the arm around his neck, but still John had the chance to lodge his foot up into the blonde haired one's crotch.</p><p>"Rosco!" The man behind him yelled, loosening his grip as he looked on at his friend who was withering in pain and clutching his aching privates. John took the chance to use that charming elbow and thrust it against his ribs, making the man release him completely to clutch onto his side, sputtering out a grunt while doubling over. The auburn haired man made sure he aimed to have broken at least one or two of it.</p><p>Still, the man he elbowed in the face minutes earlier somehow recovered, shirt soaked with blood, he grappled at John's hair, pulling it violently while sending his own fist to the man's face with an intent to break his nose. Yet the blurring pain made him miss and strike at his lips instead, busting his bottom lip open and bruising his chin up significantly. John was unprepared for the blow, it left him winded along with the pain coursing through his body already, but the grip on his hair was enough to have him making pained sounds. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!" Was the last thing he heard for a minute, his head suddenly hitting one of the toilets and his eyes widening at the sight of a shoe stomping against his chest.</p><p>"Agh!" John grunted out in a strained scream, trying to rise up but the other two, not including the one who was still trying to soothe his stinging dick, began to kick him about too. Punching at his face, kicking him, spitting on him repeatedly until someone had fortunately entered the bathroom when John was near unconsciousness.</p><p>Stuart was about to have an actual heart attack, his eyes bulging cartoonishly when he seen the same people that jumped him once, attack his best friend. "Stop! Get off of him!" He yelled, rage blinding him as he rammed the main one that threw the hardest punches at John against the wall. "What the fuck did you do to him!"</p><p>And if it couldn't get ANY fucking worse -- John leant his head up a bit, eyes opening a bit to see both Paul and Ringo enter the bathroom with curious looks on their faces. John blinked, meeting Paul's speculating eyes when the younger man had looked around the bathroom along the crowd of people gathered at the door. When Paul recognized John, his heart sinked and he immediately ran over towards John while the bathroom became flooded with people trying to break everyone apart. Ringo followed behind Paul, looking too innocent to witness the bloody scene of what was happening here.</p><p>'Time to pass out.' Was the last thing John told himself before slipping into unconsciousness, the pain carrying him away on a platter.</p><p>"John! Oh my fucking God! Baby, no, no, no, no. Look at me John, look at me!" Paul panicked, his hands frantically grasping at different parts of John's body, his heart was beating wildly in his ears when he noticed that John was out cold and fucking bleeding. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He hyperventilated, his body shaking violently as he pulled John away from the floor and into his arms with teary eyes.</p><p>"Lets get out of here, come on, let's take him to the home!" Ringo yelled, his own eyes widening and tearing up at seeing John so discombobulated like that.</p><p>They had to leave anyway, the bathroom was getting too tight with folks that had their cameras out, recording what was left of a 'brawl' as gossiped by many. Stuart somehow managed to leave too, being escorted out by the security guard's that had soon made their way to part the crowds so they could find the defendant of this situation.</p><p>However way you make of it, whether John was the defendant or the dealers that provoked him, they were both long gone from the blasted cavern.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. realization.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors<br/>happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span class="u">Two days later</span>.</p><p>There was a lounge room for wealthy elderly patients, some that were smoking with grade 4 lung cancer, no longer giving a fuck about the consequences it would bring with their already damaged lungs. Jim stared at the main example who was coughing violently by the window, cigarette settled in between their fingers and smoke pouring out of their mouth with each cough that tore through their throat. 'How gross, at least cover your mouth.' The man had thought, looking back at the draughts board with a sickened expression on his face. </p><p>"Make your move McCartney." Said an old man, who was called Seymour even though his actual name was Semen, but due to embarrassment he legally changed it to Seymour after turning thirty. There was no way he could have gotten to where he was with a name like Semen Hoffin. "It's not like we have time left to wait for you." He added, it was a dark joke, but it was true since there was a nurse that stood beside him to restock his bag of fluids on the medical rack that he had to drag around with him. The poor girl's name was Sally, and she was around nineteen, soaring through her medical classes in college by studying hard, attending classes with determination to be the best nurse and future doctor in England.</p><p>It was just tragic that she had to deal with the rich folks that looked down at her as if she was a dog.</p><p>"Shut up Sey." Jim grunted, furrowing his eyebrows as he leaned forward against the table and moving his draught piece to an opened slot. To be frank, he really didn't know what he was doing, he never liked the game draughts.</p><p>"Looks like I've already won it."</p><p>There came another bloke, Italian, who strolled over towards their table with a chair scraping along the floor much to everyone else's irritation, a golden chain hung around his  neck even though the doctors told him that it was not allowed, but he would break the rules anyway because why not. "What are you fools doing? Jim, you know that you can't play draughts to save your life." He interrogated, sitting himself down on the chair. "Evening Seymour."</p><p>"Evening Vani." Seymour replied, smiling toothlessly at the man.</p><p>Jim hacked, a cough shooting up his throat, chest lurching. "Well Vani, its not like there's shit else in here to entertain us. Not many fine women around, especially Seymour's." He passed a putrid glance to Sally whose face had darkened, and her lips straightening into a firm line to keep the bottom one from trembling.</p><p>"Hey don't do ole Sal like that, she's a good girl." Seymour laughed a crackling laugh, leaning back in his chair and smacking at the poor girl's bottom which made her squeak in surprise.</p><p>Immediately, Sally departed, face red with embarrassment and tears brewing in her eyes as she rushed out of the lounge area. Vani watched her leave while everyone else laughed around him, there was a frown on his face that had caught the attention of Jim, soon enough he kicked Seymour's shin from under the table. "Find that funny? Harassing that poor girl to a point where she cried. Getting too old for that shit Sey. You too Jim."</p><p>"Get over yourself Vani." Jim rolled his eyes, making his move finally before looking at Seymour who was tending to his shin, a hurt look on his face as he rubbed it under the table. "God you sound just like my wife." He mumbled under his breath, side eyeing Vani before looking back at Seymour with an annoyed glare in his eyes. "Make your move already."</p><p>"Oh, right, right." Seymour blinked, looking back at the draught board and frowning. Damn, Jim has him in a trap. This was going to take a couple of minutes if he wanted to win.</p><p>Giovanni had kissed his teeth, "Least Mary had more sense than you. I miss that girl, she made the sweetest desserts." He complimented, knowing that he was poking at an opened wound to Jim, but his statement was also true.</p><p>Giovanni Fiorentino's family had ties to the McCartney's for actual decades, and it may have gone back to centuries. Good partnerships, lasting for years, no bad blood in between them at all.</p><p>However, Jim did scam Giovanni sometimes without the other even knowing, and he hoped to God that they didn't have any mafia ties. That wouldn't look pretty for the future inheritance, whom was his eldest son, that fate was inescapable.</p><p>Well, Jim had thought that Giovanni didn't know. Couldn't be more wrong than that. Giovanni was the youngest person in this lounge, not really as ill as the rest of them, only suffering from walking pneumonia. He could leave whenever he wanted to, go to his second cousin, Pete Best's house and spend time with him as if he was his father. So when Pete asked him to come into the Apple Store hideout, showing him everything that he had to dig up on John's command, Giovanni was more than ready to help out. Having the recorder on with the use of Pete's phone.</p><p>"Ah Mary, had a beautiful soul I tell you." Seymour agreed with a nod that irritated Jim, tapping on the draught pieces as if they could move on their own. "A kind mother as well, I've never seen her away from those two children. Michael and James right?"</p><p>Giovanni had nodded with a curious expression on his face, looking over at Jim and drinking in the irritated silence that wavered off of him like it was smoke. "Michael's the youngest one, right Jimmy? I remember seeing the kid as a newborn a couple of years ago. Cute little rascal."</p><p>"Yeah, he is." Jim murmured, narrowing his eyes at the draught board. "Seymour's taking his sweet time. Didn't you say that we don't have enough time to waste with this?"</p><p>"Maybe he's too busy thinking about Mary, and those two kids. What a beautiful family, I wonder where the oldest is at." Giovanni said, smirking a bit as he looked over at the taken back expression of Jim. "Nicknamed him Bambi because of his big eyes."</p><p>"Oh yeah, little Bambi, that kid was so cute. Quiet but cute." Seymour agreed, thinking back to Paul and the way Jim would sometimes bring him along whenever they'd go out at night. Paul would be at least eight or nine, clutching onto his father's hand with wide innocent eyes that looked scared, but whenever he'd see Giovanni - he'd clutch onto him as if he was his actual father. There was no way Paul could have remembered those times though.</p><p>"He goes by Paul now. The middle name." Jim said dismissively, watching as Seymour had finally made a move even though it was distracted, it gave Jim the upper hand in the game. Giovanni raised his eyebrows as if he didn't know this already, nodding his head slowly while leaning back against his chair and crossing his arms over this chest.</p><p>"Really now? You never really talked about Paul. Or any of your children actually."</p><p>Seymour squinted, "Yeah, you're right Vani. Jim tell us more about little Bambi."</p><p>Jim made his move, leaving Seymour a bit surprised that he was on the edge of winning. Sitting back, he exhaled through his mouth and opened the door to the past. "Paul wasn't even planned, he came out as an accident and it fucked me up because I was only twenty six. When he came out, the boy looked fucking repulsive." He said truthfully, "The next day he looked fine."</p><p>----</p><p>John's eyes fluttered open, headache gone, but his body was still sore. Blinking and gathering his surroundings, he realized briefly that he was in his room. What he hadn't expected when he shifted was to feel warmth by his side, glancing next to him he was surprised to see Michael asleep beside him. A worried frown on his face as he slept, it seemed as if he was watching over the older man while he was knocked out over the past two days, and if that didn't make John's heart grow then nothing else would have. He felt as if he really didn't deserve to have Paul and Michael in his life, they were too precious to him. John quietly rolled the covers off of him so that it covered the other boy's body instead, keeping him warm and all.</p><p>So this must mean Mimi knew about what happened too.</p><p>To be frank, John did not want to think about that at the moment. When he stood up off of the bed, he winced and grasped at his side. Yeah, a rib was definitely broken or bruised. Everything was just really sore on him, it was as if he just got done doing exercises that lasted for hours on end, but of course it wasn't that. He got the shit beaten out of him.</p><p>Right now, he just wanted to get some water, he was so fucking thirsty. It hurts to walk, everything was just sore and it was knocking the wind out of him. Fortunately, his heavy footsteps against the floor was heard and Paul rushed into his room, eyes widening as he rushed over to his boyfriend to grab onto him gently. "John, you're awake. What's wrong? What do you want? I'll get it for you, just sit back down, please." He softly said, moving the injured man towards the chair of the desk by his computer. Without any argument towards Paul, John obeyed him and sat down, wincing a little when he was finally settled into the chair.</p><p>"Fuck." He groaned, moving a hand under his shirt to feel at his tender abdomen and ribs. "Shit, shit, shit." John croaked, immediately removing his hand when he pressed down too hard.</p><p>Paul scowled at him, worry written all over his face. "You idiot, don't touch it. You're still recovering."</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>The younger giggled tiredly, then he huffed, and sat down on the floor in front of John with his knees pressed up against his chest, John noticed how tired he looked. The boy looked <em>exhausted</em>, those pretty eyes glassy as if he just got done crying, they were also lidded like he was about to go to sleep and his hair was messy as well, a bit wet as if he was still drying it. Still extremely beautiful to John though. However, he looked thin, probably because of the big black jumper he was wearing though, but John would be upset if it was his fault that Paul stopped eating all of a sudden.</p><p>Catching the older staring at him, Paul was quick to aggressively finger comb his hair and rub the wetness out of his eyes. "I know, I look terrible. I haven't gotten any sleep lately, even Michael." He said tiredly, stretching his legs out before bringing them back to cross them native American style. "Mimi let me take a shower here, and she let me stay the night. It was fun because me and Michael watched movies on your computer, he was acting like you were awake."</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>"You look gorgeous." John said, which made the younger look up at him through his eyelashes with a look of disbelief on his face.</p><p>"Stop it." Paul breathed, a frown on his face as if he took the compliment as an insult. That had thrown John off a little bit. "Don't do this."</p><p>"Do what? I'm serious baby." John chuckled, but Paul looked like he had just seen a ghost. The sight made the laughing cease a bit, leaning forward much to his body telling him not to. "Baby?”</p><p>”Please. Stop.” Paul said, his voice a bit firm and the frown on his face growing into a more exasperated expression. “<em>Don’t</em> talk to me like that. Not - not now. Okay? Please?” </p><p>Oh.</p><p>Paul had then looked elsewhere, playing with the silver bracelet on his wrist, for a little bit to calm his anxious nerves. John was beginning to get nervous, questioning why Paul was acting so uncomfortable until he figured it out like a brick hitting the back of his head. <em>Oh. Fuck. He knew.</em> There was no way that he didn't know about the drug dealing, it was obvious that he knew. "Paul, talk to me."</p><p>"About what?" Paul asked, gently blinking up at John with his eyes coated with tears again. There was no anger in his eyes, instead there was worry and genuine hurt that made John's throat tighten up. He fucked up. God, he fucked up so <em>bad</em>. "What do you want to talk about John?" He queried with some type of edge in his voice as if he was going to snap, moving his hand up to run his fingers through his dark hair to push it back a little bit. John wanted to pass out again.</p><p>The older's heart ached, "I'm sorry Paul." He said it as a confession, and an apology at the same time.</p><p>"I know John." Paul replied, he looked <em>so tired</em>. "Stuart made sure that the police didn't catch you guys, but the other dealers got busted when they found drugs in their clothing."</p><p>"Is Stuart alright?" John asked, his voice meek and trembling as if he was a child that just got caught sneaking their hand into the candy jar. "He didn't get beat up too, right?"</p><p>Paul nodded, strangely calm, he said the next part smiling a bit. It was a tired smile that had pain written all over it. "Stu was just as worried as we all were, but he's fine. Are you hungry? I can fix you something, Mimi comes back in a little bit."</p><p>"I love you." John said, ignoring the question, Paul just stared him with wide eyes as if he was surprised to hear it. 'Please say it back, please say it back, please, please.' He pleaded inside his head as the younger looked down at his legs for a couple of seconds. John would literally twist his aching body around just to give himself pain if he ever lost Paul, if the younger stopped loving him because of how long he lied to his face. Shattered their trust. Hell, John was tempted on doing it anyways because there was no telling how much he fucked this one up, and from how calm Paul seems it really must have been a bad realization. He hurt his baby, his everything, and John just wanted to die. There's also the fact that Mimi knows too which makes the guilt ten times as worse as it is.</p><p>Eventually, Paul looked up and with all honesty he said: "I love you too."</p><p>Thank fucking <em>God</em>.</p><p>Paul had stood up from the floor, straightening his clothes before doing a double take at John who was openly tearing up. Chewing on the inside of his mouth, he reached a hand out and brushed the tears away from John's eyes with this thumb. "I'm going to order us food, okay? You must be starving." The soft, and comfort of his voice made John tear up again. Paul leaned forward and kissed gently at John's cheek which made the older's insides melt, "Do you need anything at the moment?"</p><p>'I need you.' Was John thought, and then he realized that he said it out loud because Paul looked at him crazy with that same offended look on his face. "Water." He cleared his throat, watching as the younger's face had relaxed a bit and with a quiet nod he was exiting the room to go fetch John some water.</p><p>••</p><p>"I think you're a disappointment." Mimi suddenly said, gaining everyone's attention at the dinner table. George, Paul, Michael, Ringo, and Stuart - the whole fucking Scooby gang were all gathered around and eating the food Paul had ordered. John flinched at those words, staring down at his food with relatively sad eyes to avoid the gazes that were directed towards him. "However, I will not be stuck over this for long. I have more important things to be mad at, but John I am very disappointed in you."</p><p>Stuart narrowed his eyes at her, "Cool it Mimi, I think he knows how bad he fucked up. Scolding him isn't going to help."</p><p>Michael looked at John, his eyes were sympathetic, he felt bad for the auburn haired man and the comment Mimi made had irritated him enough for him to snap at her. "Don't talk to him like that! Everyone makes mistakes Mimi. You're just being mean to him." He complained, which caused Paul, Ringo and George to look over at him in shock as to what he just said.</p><p>Mimi looked genuinely flabbergasted. "Michael, watch your tone." She ordered which did make the boy shrink in his seat, a blush of embarrassment coating his cheeks.</p><p>"He's right though." Stuart cosigned, looking over at Michael who got his hair ruffled by Paul as if it were a gesture to say, 'better luck next time kiddo' which it kind of was. John wanted to crawl in a hole, and bury himself alive so he wouldn't have to face anyone but his troubles.</p><p>"Stuart weren't you the one that let him do this?" Mimi questioned, cutting her eyes over at him with a sharp edge to her voice. "I knew you were a bad example but this is one step too far."</p><p>George turned to Paul briefly, concerned when he noticed how spaced out the older man's expression was, and then he looked at John with the same look on his face. John looked strangely upset, for a man as stoic as him, he just sat staring at his food looking genuinely spaced out into a depressive episode. As arguments were thrown back and forth between Mimi and Stuart, George thought back to the warning he gave John when it came to hurting Paul. However, the dark haired man wasn’t entirely sure if he could stop being friends with John, he loved being friends with Ringo, Paul and John. The Fab Four.</p><p>Paul looked over at George, head being held up by his hand as he spoke quietly while the arguments were still going. "I think I'm about to have a seizure."</p><p>The casualness in Paul's voice when he uttered that sentence caught George's attention, his eyes widening as he grasped onto the older's hand to find it cold and trembling in his grip. Oh shit. Paul hasn't suffered a seizure ever since he was released from the hospital, and if he went through the same violent one as before then George would have to call the ambulance nonetheless. "Calm down, okay? Take deep breaths. I'll go and get the car ready."</p><p>"I am calm George." Paul said, blinking at him as if the man had three heads attached to his neck. "It's not a big one. I know that. Might just space out."</p><p>"Want to go somewhere private?"</p><p>"Mm, yeah. John's room." Paul said, standing up on legs that had tremors shooting through them. He felt as if he was so tired to a point where it was triggering a mild seizure in his body. George helped him to the room, having John's eyes following them despite having his name thrown around in the argument that was happening just now.</p><p>---</p><p>George exited John's bedroom after probably two hours in there with the door locked, jotting down things in his notes while leaning against the door. Surprisingly, Paul was right when he said that he was just going to space out to a point where he couldn't hear George calling, or tapping him gently, teeth gritting together subconsciously as he stared at the wall throughout his episode. John approached George, silent like a cat, and then he aggressively pulled the younger man in for a tight hug, knocking the air out him. "Please don't unfriend me. I'm sorry for hurting Paul, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He pleaded, a desperate tone in his voice as George fought against the hug.</p><p>"Get off of me, and calm down before you hurt yourself again. I'm still friends with you, take it easy."</p><p>John pulled away with his bottom lip trembling, "Really?" He asked in a tiny voice that made George roll his eyes and smile gently at him with a nod. "Fucking thank you. I just feel like.. Paul doesn't even want anything to do with me right now."</p><p>"You really hurt Paul.. like a lot. However he still loves you though.. like <em>a lot</em>. Paul will still stick around you like normal but some things obviously won't be the same." George crossed his arms with a stern look on his face and added onto that. "We cried on the phone together about you because of how you got hurt in the Cavern. Paul was really scared when you didn't wake up."</p><p>John looked down at his shoes, feeling extremely ashamed. "Did he cry when he found out?" He asked, the question was low and blanketed with guilt. George hummed, shoving his phone into his back pocket.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"But it wasn't a long cry." George said, cutting off all the self loathing comments that popped up in John's head. "Lucky for you, Ringo had comforted him and pleaded your case to both of us. Still though, he didn't excuse you for lying to all of us. Paul's feelings are still hurt as well as his trust in you, and there's really nothing we could do about it."</p><p>John sniffed, and George's eyes widened. "Hey don't go crying on me now." However, that only made<span class="Apple-converted-space"> the older </span>literally fucking break down into tears.</p><p>•••</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. charlotte’s web.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the end is near somewhat 😪<br/>but y’know i’m having lots of fun writing this.<br/>excuse the errors!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"All there." Paul mumbled softly, after placing a fresh bandaid on John's cheek. Afterwards he turned around in his chair and threw the old bandages John had in a paper bag that George was holding up beside the two. The oldest of the two sighed, feeling annoyed that he couldn't do much since he was feeling the pain of a thousands knives stabbing him. The pain was from the inside and out as he placed a hand on his still sore stomach, wincing a bit as he moved. "Fuck it hurts." John grunted, which made Paul and George's eyebrows furrow in concern.</p><p>"Stop moving so much." Paul scolded, placing a gentle hand on John's forearm. "Didn't you take the painkillers I gave you earlier?" He asked, darting his tired eyes over his boyfriend's face in worry. George rolled his eyes when John shook his head, and Paul just looked thoroughly disappointed and even more tired than he already looked.</p><p>"I forgot."</p><p>Paul stared at him in deadpanned irritation, and then he had sighed before standing up, ready to exit the living room to go retrieve the painkillers so that John could feel at least capable to move around. George had stopped him though, pulling Paul back by his wrist and giving him a polite smile. "I'll go and get it. You've been on your feet all day, go and sit down with John."</p><p>Blinking in disbelief, Paul parted his lips to argue but he was already pulled down into the couch again by George. John silently thanked George with a nod, but the younger man failingly refused to acknowledge it in front of Paul, trotting out of the living room with the paper bag in his hand and purposely leaving the two men by themselves. Paul blinked slowly, looking as if he was about to fall asleep; open and vulnerable at the moment.  For some reason John was a bit shy to make a move. All he wanted to do is wrap his arms around him, apologize forever, and kiss him until the sunsets. It's the most he thought he could do now since he feels like everyone has this unfiltered rage against him, and it made him want to catapult himself off of the Eiffel Tower. "I'm so tired." Paul muttered, looking over at John with droopy eyes. "And I feel like I'm getting sick."</p><p>"A cold?" John croaked, he felt like an inexperienced teen talking to their fucking crush.</p><p>"Flu." Paul corrected, inhaling and then exhaling as he rubbed at his sore eyes. "You won't do anything stupid if I go and take a nap, would you?"</p><p>John snorted, "I can barely move. Theres nothing that I can do but sit here."</p><p>Paul hummed, nodding his head while grumbling something through the delirious mist of sleep washing over him. "Don't want to get you sick. So just - stay here, okay?" He managed, before scooting down towards the end of the couch and curling up against the arm rest that was fluffy enough to be a pillow. John watched as the younger plucked a pillow into his arms and held it close to him while he finally closed his eyes, falling asleep immediately after a couple of seconds of his breathing slowing down into a leisure pace. Long eyelashes brushing against his cheeks that were becoming flushed with the illness that was starting to become prominent. Quietly, John shifted so that his legs were bent at the knee, hands grappling at the couch as he began to slowly stand up.</p><p>The sudden weight becoming lifted off of the couch made Paul wake up quickly as if he hadn't fallen asleep at all, "What are you doing?" He gasped when he saw John standing on hesitant legs, soon enough he was sitting up a bit on his elbows with a frown on his face. "Do you need something?"</p><p>"I was going to get a blanket for you."</p><p>Paul cocked his head, trying to convince himself that John did not take a blow to the head when he got into that mess at the cavern. "I don't need a blanket. Just sit down, please, when George comes back he'll give you your pills and you can move around however you want." The younger pleaded tiredly, feeling as if he was about to collapse if he ever decided to get up and chase after John. He was so exhausted, he actually felt like crying but he figured that would make him even more tired. Everything felt so <em>heavy</em>. </p><p>"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll sit down. Just go to sleep." John said, obediently making his way over to the couch and sitting down on it which caused an ache to rush through his body. The bleeding feeling of being extremely guilty made an exhale escape his mouth. God he feels like a fucking idiot. All Paul wanted was to relax, and he's up moving like a restless child. When John sat back, he looked over at Paul who had both of his arms over his face, and the sight made the older upset. "Paul, I'm sorry, I am. I just didn't want you to be cold."</p><p>Paul removed his arms, grasping for the pillow and hugging it close to his chest. "I'll be fine." He muttered, eyes blinking into a close curling up a bit more as he fell asleep. John made sure at least six minutes passed by until he leaned to reach over and gently brushed strands of hair from Paul's face. The younger's eyelashes fluttered a bit at the touch, but it was far too late for him to wake up since he was trapped in the never-ending whirlpool of sleep that would most likely last for a couple of hours. Looking closer, squinting even, John noticed the tear stains on Paul's cheeks and it pulled relentlessly at his heart that he was the one that caused Paul to cry. Twice. For getting into that fight - and for something worse - lying to him. John felt as if he was the luckiest person in the world when George told him that Paul was still in love with him.</p><p>Too lucky.</p><p>George strolled in with the painkillers and water bottle in his hand, glancing at Paul and growing a bit surprised. "Wow, he fell asleep. I kind of wanted you two to have a talk, but I guess him sleeping is good for now." He whispered, trying to keep quiet as he walked over towards John.</p><p>"I don't even know where to begin Geo." John said back, his voice low since it was kind of hard for him to whisper right now. "I feel like it's irreversible."</p><p>"John, please, if it was irreversible you wouldn't be at his house now would you? Paul is opened to talk about it as long as you are. It's just going to be awkward if you make it awkward."</p><p>Eventually John took his way in opening the pills up, and taking it, he swallowed it down with the water. "I have to gather myself first before me and Paul have a talk. I just got beat up by three or four people, and everything feels so upside down." He said, gripping the pill container and water bottle as he spoke some more. "Two of the most important people in my life, Mimi and Paul are upset by me. I might be able to talk to Mimi, but Paul? I don't know."</p><p>"Listen, I know Paul." George placed his hand on top of John's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll tell you right now, he's not angry at you. If he was angry then you'd really have an issue on your hands. However, the past two days you were out, he was worried about you - even after we found out that you were selling with Stuart."</p><p>"I thought he'd be mad if I told him."</p><p>"I doubt it. To me it seemed as if he already knew it."</p><p>John glanced at Paul, who looked far gone in dreamland, to deep in sleep to notice anything from the outside world. Hopefully he wasn't lucid dreaming. Looking back at George who was staring in the same direction, John replied with a wavering voice. "It still hurts that I made him cry. It hurts a lot. I never wanted to make him cry."</p><p>George had huffed, "Christ John, he only cried for at least two minutes until Ringo had comforted him. It's not like he full on sobbed like 'I can't believe John would do this to me ahah' and all of that. Now when you were unconscious? We both were crying like babies because we didn't know what the hell was going on."</p><p>John had allowed himself to laugh softly at that, massaging his temples. "You tosser."</p><p>George beamed, his eyes crinkling up as he flashed a smile at him.</p><p>••</p><p>"Hey um.. you look good." John had awkwardly greeted his boyfriend at the kitchen, feeling more durable after taking some painkillers. It was the next morning, which would mark three days after the incident at the cavern. Paul looked over at him, skimming his eyes over John's figure quietly for a little bit before looking back at the too-expensive-to-be-real toaster where his bread had baked in. When the older got no answer, he cleared his throat and reached a hand out to tap at the countertop, making a rhythmic sound with the tip of his fingers.</p><p>Paul did look good to him that morning, wearing a plain short sleeved, black t-shirt that surprised John a bit. He seemed to be pulling off some type of pajama look because he was wearing some flannel black and grey joggers along with it. It made the younger look soft and cute, especially since his hair seemed to be unbrushed and everywhere. </p><p>"Hi." Paul finally said, his voice was still welcoming despite the cold look in his eyes. "Are you feeling fine?" He questioned, moving his hand away from John when the older subtly drew his hand closer to Paul's. 'Ouch,' John's inside thoughts had said, and it echoed through his head while he placed his hands into his pockets, trying to find something to ground himself while he talked to the younger man. This was going to be hard. How was he going to get Paul to forgive him? There wasn't many times before where Paul would genuinely get mad at him, the time before that was when he snapped at him at the theater but it was still somehow connected to this.</p><p>The bread sprung up, and it took John back to earth. He hadn't realized that he didn't respond to him when Paul mumbled, "I guess that's a yes." Under his breath, removing the bread with careful hands to put it on the plate beside him.</p><p>"I feel fine baby," John said, following behind Paul as he carried the plate over to the island, setting it down besides the jam. "I mean not like one-hundred percent fine, but I'm feeling better than yesterday and the day before that."</p><p>Paul stared at him with teary eyes, twisting the cap of the jam off, and then placing it down slowly. "Don't call me that."</p><p>"I'm sorry." John quickly apologized, watching closely as Paul turned away from him again, pausing for a second before he dug the butter knife into the jar of jam before smearing it onto the toast. "Hey, can I do the other one for you?" The older asked, sneakily placing his hand on the island counter near the plate.</p><p>"No." Paul replied, a trembling sound in his voice as he tried to keep himself under control. "Just go and lay down somewhere before you aggravate your injuries." He said, while placing the other toast on top of the jam one, angling the knife so that he could cut it into two. John still didn't move though, he wanted to talk to him some more, speak to him and tell Paul that he was sorry. It seemed as if apologies were nothing though, and that was tearing John apart, all he wanted was to just comfort him.</p><p>"Paul, I'm fine. Just- okay.. can you at least talk to me? Let's talk about this, please."</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it right now." Paul numbly said, placing the knife down and staring at it for a bit until he turned to John. "Do you want some?" He asked, changing the subject even though his self control was yelling at him to talk it out with John, but the anxiety and frustration was telling him the opposite. Paul just felt so conflicted with everything that has happened, so stressed, and fuck - it was actually making him really sick. He thought that John would be an escape route for that. John was his comfort. Now its just -</p><p>"I don't want any. I want to talk to you baby." Paul twitched, "I didn't mean to hurt you. Or make you cry or anything." John said, his own chest growing heavy as he moved a hand up to caress Paul's cheek, it was a bold move that made the younger extremely nauseous with conflict. It was the similar feeling that he had when he realized that he was gaining feelings for John way before, but it was stronger, because he was fighting off the feeling of throwing himself into the older's arms and crying about how much John scared him back there.</p><p>However, that feeling didn't win.</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it right now John." Paul said after a few seconds, his brows were knitted into a frown as he brung his own hand up to John's for an attempt to pry it off of his cheek. "Please? I'm sick, and I feel so tired. The last thing I want to do is talk about that right now." He said, blinking up at John with glassy eyes and the older couldn't help but to feel a knot bundle up in his throat, nose burning as he took in the sight of Paul on the verge of breaking down. It made him worried. God he didn't even take Paul's own health in consideration after all of this. Both physical, and mental. So with the knowledge that he's feeling ill, it made John more concerned than ever over him.</p><p>"Fine, we don't have to talk about it now. In the meantime, let me watch over you, just like you watched over me."</p><p>Paul had hesitated, taking a step back from the older, and fidgeting a bit as if he was scared to decline the offer. "Okay, fine." John's heart leaped. "I was just going to lay down all day though."</p><p>"As long as I'm with you, it's okay." John replied, not missing the way Paul rolled his eyes discreetly at that. </p><p>"Dork." The younger muttered affectionately under his breath, holding the plate of his toasted jam sandwich close to him as if John was going to steal it and walking out of the kitchen with the older trailing behind him. When the two made their way upstairs, Paul twisting the knob of his door to open it up into his room, John never noticed how much of a comfort space the younger's bedroom was for the two. The bed giving him memories of how it was big enough for the two to roll around in, them cuddling in it, and kissing each other dizzy in this bedroom until they were both panting and flustered red, John sucking Paul off until he was moaning out only John's name like it was a stadium chant - definitely was a comfort space for the two. </p><p>Paul placed his plate of food on the nightstand and shivered from the chill that enveloped him, bringing a hand up to his mouth so he could cough in it. John glanced over at him as he went over to the walk-in closet, sliding open the door and looking around for one of his hoodies, after a few seconds he spotted one that blended in with a specific color of clothing on the third shelf, pulling it to him while exiting Paul's closet. "Here, put this on." </p><p>"Why?" Paul absently asked, gently grasping at John's hoodie and staring at it for a bit, then the stare turned into a cold one when he looked back at John. "I could wear my own stuff. You can have this back if you want. There's a lot in there that's yours." </p><p>Woah, what? John blinked at that, ignoring how it put a dent in his feelings. Paul wearing his clothes was one of his favorite things. "No, no. You were shivering and I want you to put this on."</p><p>"No, I want wear my own. All it's going to do is get you sick." Paul stubbornly argued, driving a drill into John's skull when he gently pushed the hoodie against the older's chest. "You take it."</p><p>"Paul, just wear this one. I gave it to you because you like wearing my clothes, so it's practically yours." John moved the clothing back to Paul, "Just put it on."</p><p>It seemed as if that pushed a button because Paul's expression seem to grow more distressed, his voice shook the next time he spoke, and there was much more of a force to it when Paul shoved it back against the older's chest. "I said I don't want to wear your hoodie John. Don't force me to wear something that I don't want to. So <em>stop</em> it." He scowled, before he turnt his back towards the older, making his way towards his bed and clambering onto it before he could cry in front of his face. John stood in shock, watching silently as Paul rubbed aggressively at his teary eyes. </p><p>Fuck, he made him cry again. </p><p>John swallowed, and dropped the damn hoodie on the floor before rushing onto the bed. "I'm sorry Paul, look at me, come on." He said softly, wrapping his arms around the younger's waist which caused him to tense up in his arms. "You don't have to hide your tears from me, I fucked up, I really did. I deserve everything bad to happen to me."</p><p>Paul looked at him incredulous, and tears were running down his cheeks as when he met John's eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" That one question that Paul asked had meant a lot of everything. It needed no follow-up questions for John to know that it meant, 'why did you lie to me?' and the realization of that made John tear up as well. It was his turn to look away from Paul while the younger began to slap at his shoulders while crying. "Are you fucking crazy? Selling drugs John? Then lying to me about having a goddamn job? I can't believe you did that! You could have gotten yourself killed! You're so fucking sick." The younger cried, his voice raw with pain and frustration, he stopped hitting John when his inside voice told him that he might be hurting the older. But then there was the louder voice that went 'why should I give a fuck?' Inside of his head, in the midst of racing thoughts that circuited through his brain. </p><p>John let his own tears run down his cheeks, not even caring to brush them away as Paul yelled at him, the younger's body temperature was spiking along with the tremors that shot through him, the older noticed this and began stroking his arm to calm him down a little bit. Even though Paul's blood pressure took a significant leap, he continued to rant. "You could have gotten arrested! Or even worse! What would I know? Fucking nothing, because you want to lie. I trusted you, and you did the exact thing that I didn't want you to do. Take advantage of that." He spat, the tears pausing as he looked on at John's own teary face. With a more softer voice he asked his boyfriend, "Why did you do it?"</p><p>'So much for not wanting to talk about it. I think I over did it.' Paul thought ironically to himself, on the verge of passing out. </p><p>John sniffed, looking down as the tears came down harder, until Paul gently tilted his head up with a shaking hand. "Why did you lie to me Johnny?" </p><p>"Because I'm.. insecure." John huffed, "I didn't want you to spend a dime on me when it came to the financial problems back at Mimi. You're too good for that. And I- I just felt embarrassed at the fact that I couldn't do it myself as well." He sniffed again, rubbing the wet tears out of his eyes as he laughed bitterly. "I still didn't do it by myself in a way. I went in a route that I shouldn't have gone in, and it hurt a lot of people. I wanted to tell you, but fuck - I didn't know how." </p><p>Paul had sat quietly, basically almost in John's lap, his hazel eyes unashamedly analyzing John's body language and expression to see if he was lying to him again. </p><p>"Mimi wanted me to ask you for money, and I didn't want to. So I went to Stuart's and asked him if I could sell drugs with him. That was the same day where I first told you about the financial problems, remember?"</p><p>Paul nodded his head, remembering that they talked about it in the kitchen for a few minutes. Paul had told John that he was in his list of worries, he guessed that the older didn't take it seriously since they started kissing right after. That might have been the case. "Why didn't you let me write you a check? Did you think I was going to judge you?" Paul frowned, another spell of hurt washing over his features. "Do you think that I'd look <em>down</em> on you?"</p><p>"No, no, no. I know you're not like that. Paul you're the most humble, wealthy person that I've ever met. You and Michael. The thing is that, I just didn't want you spending on me, because you don't deserve to waste your money on someone like me."</p><p>Paul blinked, "John.. are you telling me that you basically pulled the same thing you did at your job? You didn't want me <em>spending</em>-.." The younger trailed off when John nodded his head, but then he slapped his palm down on John's shoulder again. "Are you fucking serious? I'm going to have to spend money everyday, its life. Stop treating me as some delicate flower that doesn't deserve to waste a dime. It's insulting and it got you in trouble."</p><p>"I'm sorry." John whispered, gazing at Paul with sad eyes. "I'm sorry for everything. I love you so much, and the last thing I want is for you to be hurt. Upset at me, all the above." </p><p>Paul exhaled, and placed both of his hands on John's shoulders. "I forgive you. But this really fucking hurt me. Ringo convinced me a little that your explanation would be one of the reasons, I just needed to hear it from you. Not specifically now, but I snapped anyways."</p><p>'I love you Ringo.' John thought to himself, looking at Paul's dazed eyes, he brung his hands down to the boy's waist and gave it a gentle squeeze. "If you want to leave me, you can."</p><p>"What? No, that never crossed my mind." Paul said, his eyes widening at the thought of breaking up with John. "I promised that I would never leave you. Why would I break it?"</p><p>John's eyes welled some more - fuck he doesn't deserve this angel. Paul had gently took John's face in his hands when he seen the older crying again. "I'm not leaving you for something that we can easily have a talk for. Just to make sure there's no misunderstandings between us. I fucking love you, if I didn't then you'd still be in that bathroom, possibly bleeding to death."</p><p>"I hurt you so much. I don't deserve you." John croaked, sniffling as Paul smiled at him softly. </p><p>"We'll get through this. We can take it slow, and build our way back to what it was before. No more lies though, okay? Starting now." Paul leaned in to kiss at John's lips gently, the feeling of his lips against John's made the older's brain liquify, even when the kiss was for a couple of seconds. "Is there anything else you need to tell me?"</p><p>John blinked, trying to regather himself after kissing Paul, and think back. There was really nothing else he was hiding from Paul. Unless - "Well when I was little, I think I had a crush on my mother." He admitted, not even missing the way Paul recoiled. </p><p>"Thats not what I meant, but okay." </p><p>Then the two started busting out laughing after a couple of seconds of silence, Paul suddenly found himself curled into John's lap, exhaustion washing over him. A fever was settling in as well, and John noticed it when they were talking earlier, Paul was indeed sick from all of this. It made him feel like actual shit. "I'm so <em>tired</em>. I don't think I can eat either." The younger said, his voice was entirely different than earlier, more raspy with tiredness and thick with sick. "Lay with me?" </p><p>"Of course, I'll stay here as long as you need me to." John said to him, the laughter that was filling the room dying down into a more quietly concerned atmosphere. He laid Paul down on the pillows, and laid next to him with a protective hold on the younger as he blinked dazedly into the pitch black darkness of sleep, fluttering his eyes closed as his fever began to set in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. scenery.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John's eyes fluttered open, squinting up at George who was holding the older's phone, brightness all the way up, right in front of John's sensitive eyes. Grunting, the man swatted his hand as George moved back while laughing quietly. "This Pete bloke has been calling you for the last ten minutes." He said, giggling still as if he was drunk. John blinked, looking down at Paul who was still silently asleep and sweating enough to have the older pull away from him with a gentle gasp.</p><p>"Put em on hold. Paul is really sick." John hurriedly said, grunting a bit when he noticed how much his side ached from the sudden movement. Slowly, he laid the shivering younger man down against the pillow, George turned John's phone off and watching in sudden concern. "Said he as the flu, but of course stress and a lot of things are mounted on top of that. It's all my fault."</p><p>"John?" Paul blinked, his eyes droopily opening from the shift of movement. Glancing up at both John and George, he didn't even think of questioning why they were hovering over him. Right now he felt cold, not even noticing the sweat that made his face flush and hair a bit wet. Still, he was so tired, but he felt so gross when he noticed how much he was sweating, and it made him feel worse since John was staring at him. All he wanted was to just sleep right now, without sweating his ass off and feeling his body ache from the t-cells being harassed from the virus.</p><p>"What do you have? The flu?" George asked, smiling to lighten the mood. "Seems like you're out of it." He said, glancing over at John whom was gently stroking Paul's hair.</p><p>"Mm," Paul breathed through his nose, he'd be blushing if his cheeks weren't already red. "I want to take a shower." He uttered, even though he wasn't sure if he could stand a shower right now, probably a bath maybe. John nodded, and George held his hand out for Paul to grab, but the man was stubborn enough to unsteadily lift himself up off of the bed. Shivering from the coldness that came from nowhere, he had then made his way into his bathroom, disregarding the idea of having someone help him into the bathroom.</p><p>George turned to John once Paul was out of sight, "So did you two talk it out?"</p><p>John nodded his head, and absently massaged at his side. "Yes, it was a personal talk. So don't expect anything out of me." He said, looking at George with a suspicious look on his face when the younger started to laugh mindlessly. Someone seems cheery. Very smiley like he was high or drunk on something, it made John wonder briefly. "Whats so funny?"</p><p>"Nothing." George had giggled, covering his growing smile and blush with the back of his hand. John blinked at him, making the mental conclusion that George must of had sex with someone or something similar to that since he was basically glowing and smiling like there was no problems in the world.</p><p>Meanwhile - Paul had slowly ran both of his hands down his face as the shower water came down on him, coughing into his palms before grumbling something unintelligible. Removing his hands from his face, he stood there a little bit and reached out to grab soap, mushing it against the cloth he used. To be honest, he was glad that him and John had a talk, but the wound was still sensitive and opened. However it was his time to heal, to heal with John and to restart everything that went wrong between them. If he wasn't as sick as he is, there'd be a chance where he would put up much more of a fight against the older, but that was impossible. Paul took a seat on the tub floor, running the soapy rag up and his bare legs while trying to catch his breath. His head hurts. Honestly, he couldn't do anything as far as stand up and wash. Calling John, Ringo or George in here would be embarrassing to him though.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">The flu and nasal tests should both be eradicated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Stubbornly, Paul chucked the soap at the floor of the tub only for it to cartoonishly bounce off and strike his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">“Ouch.”</span>
</p><p>Back to John and George, the two were making their way into the kitchen, George's smile had only grown when he seen Ringo eating an apple while sitting at the island, his legs dangling off of the chair while he watched videos on his phone. "Hi." He greeted, walking over towards Ringo while John made his way to the refrigerator to find something to snack on. Opening the door to it, he looked around and looked at the newly bought food that seemed to be uncooked yet, it made his stomach growl a little bit. Turning around, he asked excitedly. "Are you going to cook wh-" He cut himself off when he seen George smooching the blue eyed man's lips off. John blinked, flustering, and turning back to the refrigerator to distract himself from what he had just witnessed.</p><p>Well, about damn time.</p><p>George pulled away, letting his eyes linger on how dazed and crimson Ringo became after their short snog. "What did you say John?" The younger asked, a smile on his face as he looked over at John who still had his back turned to the couple.</p><p>"Geo, you scared him." Ringo whined, looking up at George as he started laughing again.</p><p>John closed the refrigerator door, and turned to look at the two again. "So you two finally decided to get together. Isn't that great?" He questioned, before looking at Ringo with a fond smile forming on his face. "Oh and Richie, thanks by the way. For talking to Paul."</p><p>"Huh? Oh! Yeah, sure thing." Ringo said, rubbing the back of his neck while George snickered and pulled him into a hug, kissing at his forehead which caused the older to start blushing mindlessly. "I hope I helped a lot. You guys aren't broken up right?"</p><p>"No. We're basically restarting."</p><p>"Did you put it in rice?"</p><p>John stared at George as if he had three heads, "If I could, then I would put it in rice."</p><p>———</p><p>"You should go and talk to Mimi." Paul said, which made John look down at the younger who had his head and back rested on the older's lap. His body was warm, edging on hot, and it was also shivering from the unusual coldness that wrapped around him. "She'd think something is up if you stay with me all day again. You have to explain everything to her too."</p><p>"I'm not leaving you here." John said, frowning in concern when Paul fidgeted from the body aches that coursed through him, the most annoying symptom of influenza. "Come on, sit up." He said gently, pulling Paul's body up and basically dragging him onto his lap as if he was Santa Clause. Paul blinked, slow and dizzily before furrowing his eyebrows, pouting his lips while weakly smacking at John's forearm. John pulled Paul close to him, despite the smack, so that the younger was leaning against his chest, his head resting between the crook of John's neck. There may be a chance he'd get sick too, but it didn't matter to him.</p><p>"You're going to get in trouble. Just go and see her already." Paul murmured, pushing at John's body so that he could get off of him, but it was really no use at that point. "Dummy."</p><p>"She can wait for awhile, I can go later."</p><p>Hiccuping, Paul managed to lean back from John and twist around so that his legs were off of the couch, his body slipping off of the man's lap. "John, go to Mimi's home, now. Before I cough on you."</p><p>"Stop being a brat." John said, staring at the younger as he stood up and made his way to the other couch, barely making it until he collapsed halfway on top of the soft cushion."What are you even doing?" He questioned while sitting forward, watching kind of amusedly as Paul tried his best to pull the rest of his body - which was mainly his legs - on top of it.</p><p>"I'm not cuddling you until you take your ass to Mimi's home and have a heart to heart like we did earlier." Paul had hiccuped, pushing himself up and onto the couch before crashing the rest of his body down, burying his sweaty face into the arm rest and seemingly losing all type of strength from the exhaustion that had already ran through him.</p><p>John had quickly stood up, and strolled over towards the sick man, leaning down to run a hand through the back of his hair while analyzing how a shiver ran through Paul's body. "George is too busy cooking and Richard is drooling over him in the kitchen. Who's going to watch you if I leave?" He asked, a smile on his face as Paul had somehow turned himself onto his back, taking panting breaths while staring up at his boyfriend with heavy lidded eyes.</p><p>"I can watch myself." Paul stubbornly spat, then he had winced at the ache in his legs and chest, circuiting all the way up to his head. "Now go away already. All I need to do is sleep, I'll be fine."</p><p>"Fine." John rolled his eyes playfully, smiling as he knelt down so that he was at Paul's level, it made the younger jump a little bit from the close proximity and swathis hand at John as if he was a bee.</p><p>"Stop, get away before you get sick."</p><p>"Doesn't matter really, does it?" John questioned, leaning close to Paul so that he could place a gentle kiss onto his lips, it made the other man push at John's shoulder while grumbling at him, basically describing how them kissing could make John even more sick than it would already have made him. "I'll be back. Can I take your car?"</p><p>"Hasn't stopped you before, hasn't it?" Woah, where did that come from? Settle down dude, it's time to heal from that. Paul blinked, and realigned his gaze elsewhere as John started chuckling a bit, truly taken aback. "I mean.. yes, go ahead." He corrected himself, clearing his throat and moving John's face away from him by his warm palm.</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>••</p><p>"Hi Johnny!" Michael had greeted, opening the door with a beaming smile on his face. "You look great. Are you feeling okay?" He asked, basically pulling the auburn haired man inside of the house by his shirt to hug him. John had nervously chuckled, and knelt down to hug Michael back with just as much affection, he never thought that he'd get this close with the kid. To be honest, John thought that he'd hate him, but he hasn't been more wrong than this.</p><p>"A bit sore in some places, but I'm fine. Where's Mimi?" John had asked, lifting Michael up off of the ground to hoist him onto his waist as he trekked into the living room, heading towards the dining room. Hopefully Mimi was here, John didn't see her car outside though, so that could clue him in that she wasn't around at the moment. "I got to talk to her about um- what I got in trouble for you know."</p><p>"Oh, yeah. That reminds me. I think you hurt Paul's feelings when he found out that you were doing that stuff." Michael said, holding onto John as the older man had wordlessly walked them into the kitchen area. "When you were here recovering, I asked him about it, and he seemed sad. Please don't hurt him again John, when Paul's hurt, I feel sad too."</p><p>"I know Michael, and I'm sorry about that. You know I never wanted to hurt anyone in this process." John said truthfully, pulling out the chair to the dinner table and sitting Michael down on it. "I love your brother a lot.. if I could afford it, I'd marry him."</p><p>"Can I be the flower boy?"</p><p>John had snickered, pinching Michael's cheek before tickling him all over which caused the boy to shriek out in laughter. "Yes, of course you can."</p><p>"Yay!"</p><p>"Yay what?" Mimi's timid voice sent John into a startled shock, and Michael laughed even harder at the way the older had jumped as if he was scared at the presence of Mimi. However, her presence was indeed powerful, the woman was clutching at her handbag with a look on her face that seemed unreadable when she stared at her nephew. "Do go on and tell me. What are we so excited for?" She asked, raising a brow at her nephew, while tilting her head.</p><p>"I'm going to be a flowe—"</p><p>"Mimi, hello, I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>Sizing up John for a couple of seconds, the old woman leant against the wall, rested her head against the wall while eyeing the pale faced man who seemed a bit unsure whether he wanted to talk to her or not. "You waited until now to make that decision? Well, okay then, can't argue with that."</p><p>Michael swung his legs off of the chair, "Hi Mimi."</p><p>"Hi Michael. Do you mind leaving for a bit? I have to talk to my nephew."</p><p>Michael got off of the chair, using John's arm as leverage to pull himself off. Sighing the auburn haired man took the younger's spot as the kid ran off into the hallway, he was curious too figure out what they were going to talk about. Michael knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he's been a good kid so far while living here, so what does it matter? It's not like Mimi can punish him. Whatever that would end up being. So leaning his little back against the wall, Michael sunk to the floor as the two adults began their conversation.</p><p>"Where do I begin?" John exhaled, twiddling his thumbs as Mimi dragged a chair out to take a seat down in front of him. His aunt made a 'hmph' sound, sitting down classily in the seat and crossing her legs, as well with her arms as if she was at a parent teacher conference. "First things first, I'm sorry. I really am sorry, and I just- fuck. I couldn't do it Mimi." He said, voice meek and trembling under the stern glare from his aunt. This was hard. Having the gaze of disapproval fro someone that raised him since a child. Its not like Mimi hasn't been disappointed in him before, this time around, John knew the immense amount of fucked up this situation is.</p><p>Mimi clicked her tongue, "Finish your sentences. You couldn't do what?"</p><p>"I couldn't ask for any money. Not him, not Paul." John managed, looking down at his hands as the heaviness of this situation continued to dawn on him. "You told me to ask him, and I just couldn't. I just felt so insecure to do so, and I feel as if Paul shouldn't pay us off."</p><p>Mimi tilted her head, staring at John for a couple of seconds. "Are you crying?"</p><p>'He was crying?' Michael questioned to himself, turning along the wall to get a look at John. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he stifled a gasp and looked away, turning his back against the wall again. He had never seen John cry before, and it was shocking to say the least.</p><p>John wiped his eyes, and as to Mimi's words, he was crying. 'Holy shit, I'm crying.' He thought to himself, blushing from embarrassment as he tried to wipe his eyes before Mimi could scold him for it. However, she didn't, instead she cleared her throat. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"</p><p>"What?" John wetly asked, his voice breathy as he sniffed. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Does it make you uncomfortable asking Paul for money? If it did, then I apologize for pressuring you to do it so much." Mimi said, her voice firm and professional as always, but it was also softened when she sent he tears cascade down John's face. "I've come to realize my mistakes as well. You're not the only one in the wrong."</p><p>John looked at her, trying his best to blink away his tears. "But I am, I lied to you and everyone else about what I was doing." He said, gazing at his aunt with big eyes filled with confusion.</p><p>"Let me explain," Mimi began, reaching into her handbag to remove a handkerchief, handing it over towards John who took it wordlessly. "I expected Jim McCartney to pay us weekly for watching Michael. It's been told that his condition is stable, and he's aware that we're still keeping his child in our household, but he has refused to pay us."</p><p>Michael's eyes had widened, his heart plummeting to his stomach. What? This whole time he's been here, and they still haven't got a dime of money from his father? Mumbling, 'what the fuck' under his breath, he grew even more shocked that he used a cursed word because he slapped his hands over his mouth again. Then he mumbled, "I have to tell Paul' into his hands afterwards, an idea popping into his little head.</p><p>"He's aware? So he's just-"</p><p>"Basically, it's rumored that he's abandoning Michael. I think that's absurd. I feel as if Jim McCartney is scamming us. There's also another thing."</p><p>John furrowed his eyebrows, gulping a bit. "What?"</p><p>"During the interrogation trip, I've made the conclusion that Jim has been lying to me about his eldest son, Paul." Mimi had said, lacing her own fingers together and squeezing them anxiously, but her face had shown no other emotions. Damn professional. "As I said, I have my own mistakes in not telling you this. It's hypocritical for me to turn around and bash you as well."</p><p>Too wrapped up in what Mimi had just told him, John had just nodded blindly. "Yeah, uh, it's okay. That's okay." Oh my God they were getting fucking scammed.</p><p>"You being uncomfortable though, that must have stemmed from me. I raised you up not needing to ask for money from other people. This sudden shift must have been too much for you, and I apologize for over pressuring you, genuinely." Mimi said, it was her turn to not look at John directly, instead she was staring at her hands. "The words I've said to you. I thought about them, and it was toxic. On both parts, but I should not have instigated it."</p><p>Michael listened closely, his lips were parted and his hands hovering over his mouth to make sure he wouldn't have to slap it over his mouth.</p><p>"I would do it too." John said in a small voice, "I'd say things that were meant to hurt you."</p><p>"Me as well. Unfortunately, we're both guilty."</p><p>John nodded, "So why don't we start over with positive words?" He smiled a bit, straightening up in his chair, fixing his posture which had caught Mimi's attention. "I think..my mom would be proud of you. From how hard you're trying to raise me, and taking Michael into your home would warm her heart up. You remember how soft she was for things like this, right?"</p><p>Mimi blinked, and then for a second she felt her own eyes water up a bit. John continued to smile at her with a genuine smile, it was something Mimi didn't see often. Nodding her head, she began to smile back. "Yes, she was. She loved things like this."</p><p>"I love you Mimi." John said, standing up on his feet and reaching his hand out. "And I'm never going to lie to you or anyone else again."</p><p>Mimi took her nephew's hand, rising up off of her chair, and pulling the man into a hug which had surprised John for a couple of seconds. "Ah, I love you too John." She said back, trying her best not to slip out 'my baby' into the declaration. However, she whispered it instead, under her breath to make sure that the boy didn't hear it.</p><p>••</p><p>"Stop fighting me and swallow down the cough syrup!" Was the first thing John had heard when he entered Paul's home again, along with the sound of struggling between two men. The voice was strangely familiar, and when John had basically rushed upstairs to find where the noises had come from, he opened the door to Paul's room to see Stuart and Paul basically wrestling on the bed. Wow. "God what the hell is your problem?" Stuart squeaked out, holding up a spoon that was swishing with what must have been the cough syrup. </p><p>Paul sent a fist down to Stuart's face, knocking the older man back and off of the bed to collapse on the floor panting from the struggle. John's jaw slacked, his eyes bouncing up and down from Paul to Stuart in pure confusion. Lucky enough, George and Ring seemed to have come up behind him and basically push John forward into the room. "What the? What are you doing here Stuart?" He asked, as Ringo closed the door while laughing under his breath. </p><p>"Well, I decided to visit since word on the street was that you were here." Stuart began, rolling over on his stomach and looking up at the three men standing over him. "I was wrong though, and so I decided to wait for you while that sick little fucker was coughing up a storm, so I got the cough syrup. Then he bit my hand and started running."  </p><p>"Pretty much." George said, snickering into his hand, while Ringo started laughing aloud. John had shook his head, walking over to Stuart and basically scooping him up off of the floor while Paul peeked grumpily at them from his thick blankets, stained a bit from the cough syrup. </p><p>"Take him downstairs, would you? I have to talk to Paul." </p><p>Stuart huffed, and walked over towards the couple, opening the door to Paul's room to saunter out with the spoon of cough syrup still in his hand. George followed, gently tugging Richard along by holding his hand, and like a gentleman the blue eyed man closed the door behind him. </p><p>Paul blinked, and then removed the covers off of him, crawling out of the bed to unsteadily walk towards John. "Your dumb friend stinks. Smells like actual piss." He said with emphasis, cutely poking at John's chest as if it would further make his point that he doesn't like Stuart, but that was the least of his boyfriend's worries at the moment. </p><p>"Baby, never mind him, listen. Me and Mimi talked everything out, but that's not all." John said, taking the warm hand that was poking at his chest, and pulling it so that he could guide Paul back over to the bed. John removed his shoes and climbed into the bed, the younger followed him basically clambering into his lap, straddling, hugging onto him as if he was a baby monkey. Wrapping his arms around Paul's waist, basking in his addicting scent, and perfect warmth. Even when he was ill, it seemed as if he had became more perfect for John, just so cuddly and clingy, it was everything John wanted. "Mimi knows that Jim has been lying about you."</p><p>Pulling away, Paul looked at John in disbelief. "Really? For how long?"</p><p>"When she took Michael on that trip. Remember?" </p><p>Paul's eyes widened a bit, sometime of flash of hope occurring in them, and quickly he gripped John's shoulders even tighter. "So what does this mean? What now?"</p><p>Well, what now? John thought to himself, and then he remembered something that George had told him. Wait, didn't Pete try to call him? "It means Michael's coming home soon. To you." He said, not even knowing how accurate that was, but it was leaning on that. Little did he know, the process with Pete and Giovanni was almost done, needing at least a couple of more days to attach the information along with each other. </p><p>Paul smiled, excitement in his eyes. To be honest, he feared that John would have disregarded this, he didn't known why he thought that but everything seemed to be abandoned when it came to the original reason why Paul had befriended John. "Oh John, thank you, thank you." He squeaked in excitement, kissing repeatedly at John's cheek which made the older flustered all over. </p><p>"Ah!" John lazily yelped, "You're going to get me sick." He whined, but Paul continued to kiss at his cheek, and then the kisses had morphed into slower ones which made John squirm. "Paul, you're gross." He chuckled breathily, moving his hands away from the younger when he felt the kisses get lower and lower. "See, now who's the pervert. Hm?" And with that, John just gave up letting the younger continue while he just started laughing.</p><p>-- TBC.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. popeye.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul picked up his phone and answered it to press it up against his ear, already annoyed when he took a glance at the cursed caller ID. "What is it dad?"</p><p>John blinked, halting the movement of the shopping cart in his hands. Michael shifted uncomfortably in the cart when the sound of 'dad' exited from Paul's lips, he looked over at John with big concerned eyes. Understanding the look, John had just smiled at the kid and ruffled his hair while murmuring: "Don't worry about him. Let's just go and find some sweets."</p><p>Jim had paused at the sound of his son's voice, and then he cleared his throat, and closed the door to his literal hospital suite. There was a moment of silence, until he managed to talk. "Where's Elizabeth? She hasn't been answering my calls." He eventually said, walking up towards the opened window which had let cool air draw into the inside of his room.</p><p>"How is that my problem?" Paul had genuinely questioned, walking leisurely behind John when the cart began to move again.</p><p>"Don't get mouthy with me."</p><p>"It's just a question." Paul quickly responded back, and then with a much more lowered voice he mumbled. "Dumbass."</p><p>Clicking his tongue, Jim tried his best to swallow down the rising anger that bubbled up inside of him, sputtering out a crazed laugh that made Paul's eyebrow twitch, Jim cupped the phone tighter in his hand. "I wonder if you'd say that to my face."</p><p>"Of course I would. I'd send you a gift basket with 'dumbass' written on it too. Which wine would go best, white or red? Ah - I'm sure it doesn't matter."</p><p>Jim huffed a laugh, something genuine and unfamiliar to Paul. It had sent a cold chill down the younger McCartney's spine - but he stood his ground, even if he was sent back to his childhood for a short second. "You're hilarious. However, I really have to get the information on where Elizabeth is. So if you don't mind.."</p><p>"I don't fucking know. She probably blocked your number." Paul had spat, and then he said the second half of his statement with a unrecognizable trembling anger sheltered in his voice. "It's not that easy to work with a child abuser."</p><p>"I am not a child abuser." Jim said defensively the thought of it making him queasy, Paul had thought he was becoming delusional. "You just made things extremely difficult for yourself."</p><p>"I'm not having this conversation with you right now." The man said in genuine disbelief, but Jim was quick to keep him from hanging up the phone on him with a pathetic: 'wait, wait, stop' that made Paul sigh in frustration and lean his back against the stack of water bottles. "What do you fucking want from me?"</p><p>"I'm not the child abuser in this situation. How could you accuse me of something so horrible?"</p><p>"Are you serious?" Paul had firmly asked, with his voice low and shaking, moving away from the water bottles when a young woman came up to grab a pack. "Please tell me that you're joking."</p><p>"I am not. Please give me an instance where I so-called abused you. If you're talking about me being physical with you, it's only because you'd fight me." Jim had cautiously said, he seemed genuinely out of touch with his conversation and it only drove the other man's anger on even further. Paul was questioning what went on in this old man's head to just have him say something like that, unprovoked.</p><p>After years of condemning a loving childhood for Paul when he was a kid, and only leaving patterns of bruises across his mental state and body. The mere thought of Jim not even coming to terms with the fact that he had indeed abused Paul made the boy incredibly conflicted with forces of rage sabotaging his focus, what made everything tenfold was how he is manipulating the man into thinking he was the one to cause it.</p><p>"Did you forget about the time where you punched me in the stomach in front of your rich friends when I accidentally spilt food all over myself? I was fucking nine."</p><p>Jim got quiet, and then a chuckle escaped. "Well, why did you spill-"</p><p>"Because I was scared of you, and the people you had around me. I was shaking the whole entire time."</p><p>Rolling his eyes, the elder had only clenched his jaw and glared at the window as it was Paul. "There was no reason why you should have been scared. This is why I hated when your mother cooped you up and away all of the fucking time." He said with venom, jealousy prominent in his voice when he spoke upon Mary and Paul's extremely close relationship, his skin boiling from the reminder of how protective Mary was of their child. "Had you scared for no reason."</p><p>"No, she just knew what those people do to children." Paul said, tone filtered with annoyance.</p><p>"In general!"</p><p>Paul rolled his eyes, and hung up on the man before he could say anything else. Luckily enough, John had seemed to do a whole circle around an aisle before coming back to his boyfriend on time. "Are you alright?" Michael had asked, staring at his brother with concerned eyes. Paul took a second to fake a smile, turning to the younger boy and halfway nodding his head, he hoped that he would just take to and leave it. John looked at Paul as if he was going to dissect the situation, he stayed absolutely quiet though.</p><p>"Right, so.. what were we getting for Mimi?" Paul asked, trailing off as he placed a hand at the end of the cart, pulling it along forward as he began to walk.</p><p>"We need more bathroom cleaners and kitchen cleaners." Michael said with a smile, clapping his hands together while they passed by different people and merchandise. John was still quiet, he was more than likely obliged to take Paul and Michael with him when he went shopping. Mimi had hinted to him that there was no more cleaning supplies, and John took this opportunity to have Paul by them some since using what was left of his drug money seemed indecorous. "Oh, and can we get steak too? I don't know if Mimi knows how to cook it, but I haven't had it in a long time." The seven year old explained, incredulous excitement wavering in his pure eyes.</p><p>"Anything Mikey, anything." Paul said softly, then he paused and looked over at John. "Do you want something baby?"</p><p>With all eyes on him now, John had just blushed a little bit, and purposely acted as if he was distracted. "No."</p><p>"Are you just saying no because I'm buying it, or are you actually sure?"</p><p>Michael giggled, turning to gaze at John with a smile on his face. "Didn't you want a Vinyl to play Elvis albums appropriately?" He asked, basically exposing John which had caused the auburn haired man's cheeks to burn from the crimson red that blanketed it. Before he could even say something, Paul already had that smile on his face, meaning the deal was already done and the conversation had been set stone</p><p>----</p><p>"Hey, do you want anything from here?" Paul asked George once the younger had finally picked up the phone. John combed his fingers through the raven, dark hair of Paul's, so soft and fluffy. He must've trimmed it by the ends. It looked brilliant on him, just like everything else. With one hair running through his hair, and the other hand resting on his waist, John managed to subtly squeeze at him. Very much amusement came from doing that, enjoying the little hitches of the younger's breath in the middle of his sentences whenever he'd squeeze a bit harder.</p><p>It didn't help Paul that John was pressed against his backside. "No, no, no you idiot. We're in the market, electronic market, kind of." He said after George tried to rebuttal his offering, and curve it with something about a location.</p><p>"You're so cute." John suddenly complimented, running his palm down the younger hips to his thigh, causing Paul to briefly yield and stammer over his next few sentences. The scheme had all ended with the man putting George on mute, and basically playfully kicking John in the arse for him to go somewhere else before anyone could see what he was trying to do.</p><p>Still on the phone, Paul wrapped an arm around a boxed up Vinyl without looking at the price and began to lift it up causing him to stagger back a bit at the weight of it. He kind of regretted shooing John away now, fuck. "Why is this thing so fucking heavy?" He whined, setting his phone on top of the box and using both of his hands to hold it up against his chest.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure its because of your medication." George replied casually, looking at the list of food he could cook tonight with Richard. "Ooh, let's have some Kimchi tonight. I never cooked a Korean dish before. This should be fun." He exclaimed, a smile spreading on his face.</p><p>"Do we even have any? Should I buy some?" Paul asked, struggling to carry the box to the cart that already held several game consoles Michael wanted him to buy. Cautiously, he placed the Vinyl into the cart and pulled his arms (which felt like noodles), away from the heavy fucking box. Out of breath, he was hunched over the basket until he tried to catch himself from panting, and embarrassing himself in this stupid store that sells things that are too heavy for their own good.</p><p>"Saw you struggling back there, are you alright?" Some random bloke had asked, placing his hand on Paul's backside which was somewhat of a bold move to come from a stranger. "Sir?"</p><p>"Huh? Oh, I'm fine." Paul exhaled, shrinking form the polite hand to save more of the stranger than himself. He could already feel the eyes of John from fucking somewhere, staring daggers at the random guy - he squinted at his name tag - Blayke. Okay. "Thanks for asking Blake with a y."</p><p>Blayke started laughing, white teeth showing as he neared Paul. "I know it's a weird name."</p><p>"More like a weird way to spell it." Paul said before he could stop himself, causing his eyes to widen when the sentence did come out. "I mean, it's weird in a good way. Like unique." He said, mentally slapping himself in the forehead from how much of a git he sounded like.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad it's unique to you." Blayke skimmed his eyes over Paul's features, readying a charming smile on his face. Paul felt comfortable with it though, he seemed nice and not exactly weird like all of the other weirdos he runs into in public. "What's your name?"</p><p>"Paul." The younger man murmured, then he had smiled a bit, immediately catching Blayke's heart. Still though, he could feel the hot presence of his boyfriend and there was a upcoming feeling of his presence nearing the two young men.</p><p>"I'll be sure to remember that. Hopefully I get to see you around here again, when I'm off work."</p><p>John had made his debut after that sentence, Michael clutching onto his hand with a newly bought race car in his grip. "Who's this love? Made a new friend?" He carefully asked, capturing Blayke's eye with his own piercing glare.</p><p>Paul had rolled his eyes, high fiving himself in his head after calling it out when John would lose his self control.</p><p>••</p><p>Snogging passionately on the couch, with John lounging in between Paul's outstretched legs, large hands rested at the underside of the younger's thighs, Paul couldn't be in anymore bliss at the moment. His hands gradually threaded through his hair, tugging gently when the older would nip at his lips, running his tongue along Paul's own tongue. Pulling away, John shifted away and began to run his hands up Paul's shirt. "Can't go anywhere without people trying to get what's mine." He grumbled, genuinely annoyed while brushing his hand against the younger's abdomen, sending a chill down Paul's spine that made his legs clench around John, and a fluttery feeling to elicit inside of his stomach.</p><p>"Becoming jealous Johnny?" Paul gently asked, a smile in his voice nonetheless of the heat rushing through his frame. His hands dragged along John's chest, lingering the palm of his hand along the firmness of his stomach and sighing in awe at how perfect his man is. Even if they were in a bad patch, his handsomeness couldn't shake Paul into keeping his hands off of the older man. John certainly could not seem to last either. So when he leaned back in, mumbling a 'mhm' against the skin of his neck as he began to press hot kisses against the sensitive skin, Paul mewled delightfully, shifting his body against John's as his nipple began to get played with by the naughty hand that John had up his shirt. "You know that - ah - I'm yours."</p><p>John tongued languidly on Paul's sweet spot, pleasantly enjoying the way the boy's breaths had occasionally halted and a cute broken inhale became audible. Soon enough, Paul was withering underneath John, his cock slowly becoming hard - twisting the cloth of the older's shirt into his fist. Moving a bold leg towards the stimulated crotch, he smirked when Paul had immediately grounded down against his thigh birthing out a soft moan, feeling unashamed and desperate for some type of fucking--</p><p>"What the hell?" George's comedically shocked voice made Paul shove John off of him, almost to the fucking floor, quickly rushing out an apology as John collided with the hard area. Blinking to figure out what the hell just happened, oldest in the living room had stood up and turned to George, an annoyed look still plastered on his face. "Sorry for interrupting your mating session, but John have you've gotten back with Pete yet?"</p><p>"Oh, I forgot." John huffed, glancing at his boyfriend who was shivering with arousal and embarrassment, hiding his noticeable erection with the couch pillow. "Do you want to listen to me call Pete? I think he's got something to tell us."</p><p>The question of 'can we have sex first?' had briefly entered Paul's mind, but soon enough, he thought about the actual important thing here. So the sex was going to come second. "Okay."</p><p>George looked back and forth between them, face flushing at the realization that Paul and John actually do nasty things behind closed doors. That was something he should be accustomed to think was natural, but Paul seemed so.. not like that. Fuck - he just walked into the beginning of having himself abandon his innocence. "Well um, bye? I'm starting the Kimchi soon so." He cleared his throat, turning away from the couple and nervously giggling his way out of the living room to head into the kitchen again.</p><p>Eventually, Paul and John ended up in the younger's bedroom. John sitting Native American style in the middle of the large bed while Paul clung onto his back, arms wrapped around the older's neck his legs short but outstretched. Calling Pete back and waiting for the rings to transition to a greeting, John smiled as Paul began to play with his hair as if he was a curious child. "Your hair is so soft. The color is so pretty, it's like a red brown with a sprinkle of orange."</p><p>"Like ginger?"</p><p>Paul had softly hummed, kissed gently at the back of John's head before threading his fingers through the soft strands. "Mhm. You could call it that. I think your hair color is darker than ginger hair color. It's auburn colored, at the same time it could be ginger aligned."</p><p>John tilted his head back, causing Paul to move so that the older could tilt his head back to the point where he was staring at his younger boyfriend upside down. "Your hair could be black."</p><p>Paul pulled a singular small line of his hair in front of his face, analyzing, scrutinizing, examining it until the strand broke off into one small straw of hair was still planted in between his finger tips. "Ouch." He pouted causing the older to laugh, and move his head forward so the blood would stop rushing to his head.</p><p>"Hellooo? John?" Pete asked, tapping his fingers against the desk that had iPhones lined up there, there was an angry and horny customer that had been asking for a fix to the virus on his computer. The reason why there was a virus is because of too much porn downloaded into his MacBook and he was extremely confused as to why it had to happen. "Oh so now you call me back, damn sure could've saved me and Vani a couple of days."</p><p>"Who the hell is-" John was cut off, by a rambling Pete but Paul was left in a train of thoughts. He heard that name before.</p><p>"Listen, I have to make this quick because this bozo here is hot and horny. Is Paul there?"</p><p>Before John could register what predicament Pete was in to say something as rambunctious as that, Paul had spoken up from behind John, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck as he made his presence clear. "I'm right here!"</p><p>"Great. So I have a close tie to Jim McCartney, my second cousin has been connected to him for years now." Pete hurriedly explained, trying his best to expand all the information he had within the short span of time that was on his palm, especially with this fucking customer that didn't seem to budge at all so far. "I told him details here and there about this case, not too much because I don't want to violate your privacy Paul."</p><p>Paul gently smiled at that, feeling flattered that someone he didn't really know took in the fact that this was sensitive information. "Thanks."</p><p>"Aw shucks. Anyways, Vani went to the hospital your dad is in and decided to question him about you. The information we got was a bit irrelevant because the old man wanted to be stubborn, but after prodding, it's enough to prove that there were a lot of open holes in his reasons as to why you shouldn't have Michael." Pete said quickly, having to hang up right now. "Now do what you want with this, next time I call you John, answer me damnit."</p><p>"That was kind of quick. Is that all you have?" John curiously asked with a furrow of his eyebrows while Paul went back to eagerly playing around in the depths of the older man's hair.</p><p>"No, just come to me the next time I call you."</p><p>"Okay, fine—" John was suddenly cut off mid-sentence by the angry horny customer that had been fed up with Pete's apparent stalling.</p><p>"Hey! Are you going to fix this porn virus or what?"</p><p>That's when the phone clicked, the line went dead leaving the two young men shell shocked as to what they just heard. John tossed his phone carelessly over to the pillow and turned to give his attention to Paul, whirling an arm around his torso so he could whisk the younger man in front of him, eliciting a giggle from him. "Plan is almost finished baby. We're just going to have to leave it in Pete's hands. I'm sure he's got everything in his control."</p><p>"I love you so much." Paul said his voice barely above a whisper when he uttered it, moving his hand up to John's cheek which had been tinted into a light pink color. Gosh everything was coming together, and Paul couldn't believe how lucky he was to have put his trust in John. </p><p>"I love you more baby." John had gently said to him, leaning in close to place a kiss against Paul's lips. The younger reciprocated the kiss completely, naturally moving his arms around John's neck. Fuck he was so pliable, easily knowing where to slot himself and move around at the exact same time John would shift. Paul was on his backside against the sheets of the bed, the other man hovered right on top of him, lips never separating as the passionate sounds of their kisses filled the room erotically. </p><p>John grasped at Paul's waist, their embrace causing heat to pool down his body, especially when Paul casually hooked a leg up on his backside. Groaning into the kiss, Paul ran his tongue against John's, moving his lips away from John's to trail across his jawline to dip his head so that he could suck on the man's neck. Stilling on top of him, letting the sensations of that warm, wet mouth against his skin - it had quickly dawned on John that he was becoming significantly aroused just from the suckling of his neck. "Fuck." John muttered, suddenly moving his hand up to grasp at Paul's face causing a gasp to crumble out of those sweet lips. "Tell me, baby. What do you want?" He asked, a voice that sounded distinctively like Elvis' but it was one-hundred percent of his own came out and possessed the shit out of Paul's senses.</p><p>The feeling of John's beautiful hand on his face - along with the sudden voice that came rumbling out of him made Paul actually drip, his legs beginning to tremble against the orders body. Withering a bit in anticipation, he attempted to talk under the glare of those pretty brown eyes melting seethingly hot into his soft skin. Here was triggered an unforgettable, sentence that he would have never thought to hear from himself at all in his years of living. Shyly, he whispered softly in the midst of sheer embarrassment from how fucking desperate it may come out:  "I want you to fuck me."</p><p>John, as excited as he was to hear that, only smoothed his thumb against the soft and wet lips of Paul, pressing down on his bottom lip. "You sound so pretty saying that baby."</p><p>Shivering, and basically going nuts when John dipped his thumb into his mouth, Paul's hand twitched when he moved his arms from around the older's neck. Taking note of that, John moved his other hand to grasp at Paul's two hands, pressing them down and above his head. Sucking on John's thumb, the younger let his eyes roam across John's face, his cock just growing more hard in his pants from the mere sight of the older hovering over him. "Mm," Paul hummed lightly, keeping his hands where John had put them while the older sat up to grip at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up a bit which made him shiver again. John looked up with gentle eyes, silently asking him if this was okay, and Paul nodded quickly - drool running down John's thumb into the crevice of his hand. </p><p>Sliding the shirt up all the way to his neck, John leaned down - his thumb still nestled in the heat of Paul's welcoming mouth - and began to kiss at the middle of his chest before trailing it to the man's nipple. Breath hitching when John took his nipple into his mouth, running his tongue gently along the sensitive nub, Paul closed his fluttering eyes and moaned against the thumb as his breathing sped up. Fuck. This man always made him feel like he was going to lose it ever since he was manhandled against the wall by him. Manhandle. Suddenly he wants John to step on him, but he won't bring that up until later because it might be weird. </p><p>John moved his mouth over to the other nipple, leaving Paul gasping momentarily at the cold air that wrapped around his stimulated one. Removing the thumb from his mouth to pant open mouthedly, he furrowed his eyebrows and sighed a trembling one that was halfway John's name. "John, wait. Can you open that drawer up?" </p><p>Pulling away from the heaving chest of his boyfriend, John looked over at the drawer of the nightstand aside of them and reached art the handle to open it up. To his pleasant surprise, there was a half full bottle of lubricant lying there in its wake, he grasped it and sat back against his knees to observe the bottle. Paul huffed impatiently and quickly pulled down his pants, underwear following pathetically, his cock sprung out. John's eyes rearranged themselves to fixate on the pretty thing, soon enough he found himself sitting in the middle of Paul's spread legs, the intoxicating scent of him filling up the older's nose as he concentrated on the younger. "Give it to me." He pouted, snatching the bottle away from him anyways which made John laugh, Paul settled back against the sheets while pouring a large amount of the lubricant on his trembling fingers, not caring that it would make a mess later.</p><p>Placing his hands on Paul's knees, parting his legs even more made the younger blush and his cock throb just from being watched. Moving his dripping hand down to wetter up his already moisten cock, he shivered and withdrew a soft sigh that was almost a moan, John watched in quiet amusement as Paul's fingers began to trace against the rim of his entrance. "Sometimes I do this if I can't cum b-by jerking myself off." He said, voice low and trembling as he carefully inserted two of his drenched fingers inside of him, his eyes blowing wide a bit at the familiar intrusion. John gripped Paul's knees even tighter, lips parting and his hands dropping to the younger's thighs to pull them upwards so that he could get a more obscene look of his boyfriend fingering himself open. </p><p>Paul brushed his fingers against the addictive gland, using the advantage from how his legs were perched high up in John's grip. His back arched and a purely pornographic moan had exited his lips, his face relaxing gorgeously and his cock spurting out more precum against his soft stomach while his fingers twitched inside of him. "Feels so good, fuck." Paul's eyes flickered up to meet John's wickedly awestruck gaze as his hole dripped from the wet fingers pooling inside of him. The older forgot to breathe, and when he did inhale his breath, it came out as a soft gasp as Paul twisted around yearningly against the bed while slowly moving his fingers against his sensitive walls and prostate. </p><p>"Fuck, Paul." John managed, digging his nails into the soft skin of his thighs with one hand and palming his own hardening cock with his other hand as he watched the younger's hole clench around nothing when he removed his fingers. This was the most hottest sight he had ever witnessed, and it was live in front of him. </p><p>"Help me? Please?" Paul begged, reaching for John's hand that had tended to his own cock. Lazily he smeared some lube onto his fingers and cautiously moved it towards his glistening hole, but John had quickly gathered control of it all, ruthlessly shoving two fingers deep inside of the younger which caused him to jolt against the sheets with a loud gasp that blinded John with lust. However, the squelching sound of his fingers erupting back and forth into Paul's hole, was already his last inch of self control wavering. "John," Paul cried out, tearing up from the pleasure that coursed through him when he realized that the older was not going to stop until he  fucking came. "Ss- ah, slow d-down, gonna cum." He sobbed out, eyebrows furrowing as his breaths began to gradually become labored when John had only moved his fingers more savagely, fucking his sensitive hole with the thickness of it. </p><p>"Cum for me then." John had ordered, leaning up and pushing Paul's legs back even more to give him some more leverage. </p><p>Paul twisted his hands into the sheets, pulling them as he bucked his hips up and away from John while cum began to rope out of his cock, back bowing as a tirade of moans exited his mouth. "Fuck. Oh fuck, John." He groaned out wantonly, twisting his body around as the touch of his older  boyfriend's fingers inside of him had suddenly faded away. John dropped his grip on him, watching amused as Paul's shaking body had flopped pathetically onto the bed, bouncing off a bit. Sniffling a bit, the younger hiccuped and blinked at John through the haze of his orgasm - he still had his clothes on? Paul sat up with his cock still sensitive, hole still clenching at nothing and reached out for him, grasping at his forearm to pull him close to him again, wanting to feel him all over. "Why are you still dressed? C'mon."</p><p>"Calm down first baby." John chuckled, working on removing his pants. "I'm going to get to it. Alright?"</p><p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. dionysus.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors<br/>this week was kind of busy (had a birthday) so sry for not rly updating :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the television there was looney tunes, with the volume repulsively loud - around halfway up its full capacity. 'What's up Doc?' Bugs Bunny asked incredibly insouciant, and composed after snacking majestically on his carrot.</p><p>The next line of the show was drowned out by the sound of Paul's muffled moans, and the sound of John's thrust clapping against his skin as he gripped the edge of the bed while fucking himself relentlessly into the younger man's body. Paul panted heavily, breathed against the palm of his hand, his back arched as John pinned him down against the bed, moving his tangled up legs with the other's to basically straddle him against the mattress, trap him down mercilessly onto the bed while riding his ass. With blushing cheeks, John moved to grasp at Paul's hand which was covering his mouth and shot his other hand out to reach for his other hand.</p><p>Paul strung a hand out to grasp at the edge, his eyes closing as his body jerked against the sheets cock rubbing against the soft texture. "Ah! Fuck, fuck, fuck." He grunted out beginning to cry for the third time that night, desperately pushing back against the thrusts only to get pinned down again, John grabbed at both of Paul's bijou wrists, pinned them down aside his head, slowing down his thrust to a full stop that left the younger trembling. Leaning down, he kissed gently at the boy's cheek, catching whiff of the dragged out, trembling, hoarse groan that exited through both of his lips.</p><p>"Such a good boy." John talked breathily into his ear, rolling his hips against Paul's ass, his cock dragging against the addictively fucking tight, sensitive velvet textured walls that clenched around him delicately. "So cute."</p><p>Paul moved his face so that his pink tinted cheek rested against the bed, wiggling his bottom half to receive a groan from John that made him smile lazily, softly giggling out a moan. "Can I take my shirt off? I'm r-really hot." He stuttered, breath catching in his throat by the end of the sentence when John dove his cock deeper inside of him again, Paul's body jerked against the bed, and he ended up closing his eyes tightly while hissing out a curse word that caused John to chuckle breathlessly.</p><p>"I'll take it off for you." John said, sitting up and snaking his hands down Paul's backside to reach for the end of the shirt, whisking it up - moving it up and over the younger's head which made him become fully naked underneath a halfway clothed John Lennon. Afterwards he leant back down, running his hand through the dark and wet with sweat hair, kissing at Paul's soft bare shoulder, then tracing it to the back of his neck which was very accessible since the younger had resigned to laying his head down in the fold of his arm. Leaning his chest against his backside, he whispered into his ear, grinding into the tight heat as he asked him a perverted question: "Where do you want me to cum baby?"</p><p>Paul gasped at the feeling his prostate being kneaded by the head of the older's cock - oh fuck. He panted, whimpering out a shy, "Inside of me." While unashamedly grinding his hips back against the thick fucking cock inside of him that stretched him just enough to have him going insane. Its as if he was embarrassed to say what he wanted which was chaff when it came to the current circumstances of his situation, but his body had other plans when he felt John throb inside of him, taking in the raven haired man's mewl - John shifted himself so that he had his arms snaking underneath Paul's torso to hold him close to his body.</p><p>"Want me to breed you baby?" John asked him with a surprisingly even voice that made Paul flush at the thought of him being the one that was vocal while John was just fucking him, watching the younger unfold with just a attractively patronizing dominant persona. It just made Paul more fucking hot and on edge, especially with John jamming his hips against his ass again, diving his length inside of him in a slow pace that was synced with roughness at the same time. "Fill you up with my cum?" John ultimately followed up, this time a deep moan escaped his mouth which caused Paul's cock to strain in pre orgasm.</p><p><em>God </em> <span class="Apple-converted-space"><em>say a prayer</em>. </span></p><p>Paul chewed on his bottom lip, stifling a 'mhm' which came out more as a wrecked and out of tune hum, tears of pleasure flowing down his flustered cheeks as he shook underneath him. Paul's legs attempted to spread open but John kept them sealed - pushing down on the small of the younger's back, forcing his body down onto the bed and using his legs to straddle him properly, squeezing his legs together between his own, tightening him around his cock.</p><p>This felt so fucking good. He wept, a blissful expression on his face as he moaned out while getting absolutely railed from behind. John leant down and ran his tongue along the salty with sweat but sweet as honey skin of his shoulder, moaning against the skin, his eyes fluttering as his cock began to swell against the clenching walls. "Fuck baby, you feel so good around me." The man breathed into Paul's ear which caused him to squirm, he continued giving the boy an earful until he could no longer form coherent sentences of his own, pleasure taking control of his senses when he strewn in a number of thrusts inside of the tight, utterly soft and wet heat.</p><p>With panting breaths, Paul let himself be jerked back and forth against the sheets in timing with the rough thrusts that were suspended into him, sensitive gland inside of him becoming gracefully overstimulated as it continued to be prodded at.</p><p>Stuttering his hips, John began to cum inside of him,laying slack against Paul's trembling body as he released a moan, intense pleasure roaring through his body. "Fuck, Paul - fuck." He groaned into his ear, triggering the younger to somewhat quietly cum against the sheets, muffling the dirty sounds he made into the sheets as he felt himself become dizzy with the hot feeling of liquid beginning to drip down his inner thigh.</p><p>Breathing heavily, both of them twitched simultaneously, John ended up rolling off of Paul after barebacking him for about an hour and a half - edging himself by stopping around five minutes near an orgasm which made the younger cry a couple times. Paul was trembling still rutting against the sheets a bit as if he was still getting fucked senseless, soon enough he was crawling on top of his boyfriend to cuddle him and go take a nap or something. "Don't you want to clean up?" John asked, running his hand along the small of Paul's back, letting the shivers he felt under his tough sink into his head.</p><p>Shifting away from John, Paul had sat up and stretched his body out, legs still trembling from how good he was fucked. The older man sat up as well, letting his eyes skim over Paul's body, he was blissed out and Paul looked absolutely ravishing. Fully bare, glistening and flustered with exertion, his hair was attractively unkempt, his lips swollen, those hazel eyes looked glittery from the amount of times John almost or did make him cry. Making love with Paul will always be an out of body experience. It was insane to him how someone so pretty could let somebody touch him in the most intimate areas.</p><p>"What are you staring at?" Paul queried, arching his brow as he began to drag his legs down so that he could stretch them out across his bed.</p><p>John moved close to him, and ran his hand along the side of Paul's leg, tracing it up to his thighs. "You." He said softly, meeting the younger's heavy lidded eyes that only made it worse for John to keep his hands off of him. "I love you."</p><p>Paul kissed him as a response to that, soft and full with genuine affection. John hummed into the kiss, pulling Paul close to him so that he was draped on top of his body. Letting himself be moved, the younger had wrapped his arms around the other's neck, raking his fingers through the forest of hair on top of his boyfriend's head. John broke the kiss and stared into Paul's eyes for a few seconds, thinking about how lucky he seemed in this moment of post-orgasm, both of them still flushed and a little out of breath from their ministrations earlier.</p><p>"John?"</p><p>"Yes baby?"</p><p>Paul moved his hand from the older's hair, cupping his cheek and brushing the pad of his thumb against his skin. "Can we go take a shower together?"</p><p>••</p><p>Fuck. Paul could barely walk, his backside was pleasurably sore, as well as his legs. It made him incredibly amused at the situation he found himself in, being fucked for the first time in awhile, as well as John washing him up since he was feeling too tired to really do anything. John had given him a clean shirt, which was coincidentally his own, letting the younger man sport it with a pair of cute pajama shorts. Lovely slim legs presented, something that made Paul have to playfully smack John's hand away. Paul had frolicked his way into the office that he never uses while John took initiative and washed Paul's sheets, using another spare that was in the hallway closet.</p><p>Sitting down carefully into the chair and removing his phone from his pocket, Paul turned it on with an exhale, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. To be truthful, he was still kind of tired, thanks to his medication. Right now however, the feeling of an unrecognizable form of tranquility seemed to substitute for the tiredness as he tapped the pad of his finger onto the Facebook app that he rarely uses at all. If everything works out in the way that it should, then maybe it'd be best to do what he was about to do.</p><p>Looking onto his aunt's page from his mother's side, Paul swallowed down a somewhat nervous gulp and tapped onto the messages. How could he greet her? Someone he used to occasionally talk to as a child whenever his mother would be on the phone with her. It's already hard enough for him that they haven't conversed within actual fucking years.At the same time, it wasn't as if he had control over that.</p><p>Fuck it. 'Sent friend request!'</p><p>This was really, actually happening. Looking at her location, his eyes began to bulge out of his head. Northern Ireland? What the hell happened for her to move to Ireland? The feeling of being a lost dog began to shed lightly onto Paul as he placed his phone down on the desk slowly, blinking at nothing in bewilderment, trying to register everything. Maybe he should have relooked at his relatives, and skimmed over their locations before having the audacity to reach out to them in the first time in years. Real question is, how was he so sure that this was the right aunt? Just because she had the same last name as his mother does not exactly mean that they're related.</p><p>At the same time, it has always been a small world. The amount of coincidences that has happened to him kind of made the situation what it was.</p><p>"What am I doing?" Paul asked to himself in a low voice after awhile of waiting, rubbing at his eyes as a dizzy smile welcomed its way onto his face. "I don't even know what the hell I'm doing." And it's been like this for awhile now to a point where he suddenly - wants John to distract him from making anymore moves. Then that wouldn't work because he'd end up in the same exact spot.</p><p>Paul flinched when the notification from his phone happened to knock him back into the world of reality. Picking it up slowly, he glared at it while chewing at the inside of his cheek, heart racing when he read that she accepted his request. It seemed to him as if the lady was getting ahead of herself because she messaged him seconds later with some type of dramatic reply of a greeting? Or a question of his existence of some sort.'...James? Mary's boy?....'</p><p>No seriously, what the hell am I doing? Was what Paul had thought to himself, tapping onto the message notification to open up the DM. Suddenly, he felt a bit queasy at his actions and what they could mean to someone who didn't know his situation.</p><p>'yes. hi.'</p><p>She was typing, and Paul was beginning to regret this. What if something backfired and he ended up becoming some type of attention seeker that live dup to his father's words? Mentally deluded. Paul furrowed his eyebrows, trying not to think about that before he blows a fuse and ruins his tranquil mood with something dark and unattended for.</p><p>'Oh!! Paulie! Where have you've been? Actually. Don't answer that. I have been waiting for this day!'</p><p>Oh, good. So this was the right aunt after all. Paul's mouth twitched into some type of small smile, resting both of his thumbs on the side of his phone since he was witnessing his aunt had continuing to smash her fingers down in the keyboard in pure excitement.</p><p>'I want to talk to you in person actually. That would be better. Why don't you come to Ireland? I'll send my address.'</p><p>Oh, not good. Paul quickly jotted his fingers down, sitting up and leaning his back against the chair with a furrow in his brow as he typed as fast as he could.</p><p>'wait.. you want me to drive there?'</p><p>Hopefully fucking not. Paul didn't know what the hell to do. If he drove there would take a couple of days, and honestly if he went to go visit, he'd want to go alone. Which was kind of fucked for him if he took on the driving option of the ordeal. The thought behind reaching out to his aunt was unbearably too intimate to actually trust anyone else with, especially to physically go with him on a road trip to his aunt's that he hasn't seen since he was a kid. Well in his head of course Paul would be able to go alone, but he'd tell everyone about it afterwards, not digging deep into details. That's only if he would go though.</p><p>'No silly boy! I can have you catch a flight to go! Tomorrow? The day after?'</p><p>Paul inhaled, typing back as he weighed his options. The day after tomorrow would be fair. Then he'd have time to do everything that was needed to be done. Tell George he was leaving for a bit, Michael, Ringo and of course John. Then again, it was John so he might have to schedule this shit until next week if the older man wanted to cooperate. Thinking briefly about it, Paul shrugged with an 'ah he'll understand,' and text his aunt that he wanted the day after tomorrow to be the day.</p><p>Well, that went with smoother than he thought. Maybe they'll exchange more words in person, if that's her plan because if you call this a conversation between two relatives for the first time in years, it's a little sad to see.</p><p>- - -</p><p>"John, I have to tell you something." Paul murmured against John's lips, leaning back onto him to press their lips together again for the last time, grasping at the sneaky hand that was making its way up his thigh. John pouted when he pulled away, wanting to go back to nestling their lips together badly but he complied when Paul peeled his hand off of his thigh, interlacing their fingers. "Okay, listen pup, I have to go and pack." He told him softly, analyzing the change of expression on John's face.</p><p>"Pack? What are- what?"</p><p>Paul huffed, "I'm going to Ireland the day after tomorrow to see my aunt. So you'll watch the house with George and Ringo, right?" He asked, twirling strands of auburn hair in his fingers before leaning into kiss at John's cheek, tracing his soft lips to neck. John blinked, a frown forming while he tilted his head to the side to give Paul more access to his neck. This was something that he was unprepared for. It wasn't like he was getting the full scoop on what was going on as well, he was still a bit lost.</p><p>Grasping at Paul's arms, he pulled him away from his body and stared at him cluelessly. "Your aunt?"</p><p>Paul slumped in his grip, and with a whine he replied back with a snarky tone. "Did I stutter? Now let me kiss you goddamnit."</p><p>"Baby, you can't just tell me that you're leaving off to a whole other country and act like I'm not going to ask you any questions."</p><p>Paul swung his leg over John's lap, mounted on top of him and wrapped his arms around his neck, all of which had indeed knocked the air out of the older's lungs for a bit. "It's not that far. You're acting like I'm going into another continent." He said softly in a honey voice that shook the older for a bit, leaning into bring their lips together again while John took a minute to let those thoughts sink in, fluttering his eyes closed and kissing his boyfriend back for a brief second before pulling him away again.</p><p>"Let me come with you then." John said, a low voice as he let his eyes look up at Paul who looked gorgeous in this light, basically asking for it. "It'd be just us two, alone and together. Wouldn't have to worry about no one but ourselves." He said, imagination running as he ran his hands up the younger's soft and milky thighs to the waistband of his shorts.</p><p>Paul hummed, moving up on his knees as John began to tug at his shorts, pulling it down with one hand and having the other basically help Paul tumble down onto the couch. With a soft grunt escaping his lips when his body met the cushion a bit roughly, he blinked up at John who hovered over him."As nice as that sounds Johnny, I haven't-" Paul was cut off by his own soft hitch of breath when John brushed his hand against his semi hardened length, already reaching to grasp at something to ground himself.</p><p>“Do go on.” John had gently encouraged, lowering his head, kissing at the inside of Paul’s thigh taking in the scent of him whilst moving the pair of shorts lower to a point where it was hooking off of his foot. Throwing the pair of shorts to the side, he was able to lift both of the younger’s legs up in his hands as he began to dip his head to run the flat of his tongue along the underside of Paul’s cock.</p><p>Getting his cock sucked in his living room while talking about his aunt that he hasn’t seen in actual years - was something that he didn’t see coming. However, when he felt the suction of John’s mouth wrapping around him, Paul was already forgetting what the hell he was about to say - a gentle moan escaping his lips, his head rocking to the side while his nails began to dig into the fabric, back arching up off of the couch as his moans began to grow much more thick while intense pleasure stimulated throughout his body.</p><p>John couldn’t get enough of hearing the sounds Paul would make when he was in bliss, most especially when he either had his fingers or himself inside of him. The man was so easy to fucking pull apart, and it was addicting to him to see it happen, to witness it. “Johnny, baby, I-” He began breathlessly, his eyes growing a little heavy legs trembling in the older’s firm hold onto his thighs. “Wait a bit, okay?”</p><p>Pulling off with a soft pop, earning himself a shaking and quiet groan, John looked up at him in questioning. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I can’t say what I want to say with you sucking the soul out of me.” Paul whined adorably, pouting his lips at John as he breathed harshly through his mouth when he felt the hand of John stroking the shaft of his dick, which was already dripping precum.“If you want to make me cum, do it after I tell you what I need to tell you. Yes?”</p><p>“I’m listening.”</p><p>Paul sat up on his elbows, staring into John’s eyes. “I haven’t seen my aunt in years. This is going to be the first time I’ve met her in awhile.” He explained breathily, tugging on John’s shirt to pull him up on top of him - which the older complied to doing, nestling himself on top of Paul, still noting of his unclothed bottom half. Shivering when he felt the feeling of John’s clothed thigh press against him, he narrowed his eyes and began to squirm underneath him. “Hm, I’ll tell you the rest once you finish.”</p><p>John raised his eyebrows and scoffed, “Bossy.”</p><p>— — —</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. pose.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>short chap like 2k words bc i just now spewed this out lmaoo <br/>excuse the errors &amp; enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you sure that you're sure that you're sure - you are sure that you want to go by yourself?" George asked, placing down two plates blanketed with kimchi down in front of Paul and John. Paul raised a confused brow at the younger, blinking in confusion since the main question was repetitive and purposely doubled for some type of comedic effect. However, the raven haired man couldn't spectate what was so hilarious about this trip, he was incredibly nervous.</p>
<p>"Yes, I'm sure." Paul had softly murmured, looking down at the delicious food in front of him. To be honest, he felt far gone, still getting tremors from the sexual events that had transpired earlier that day between him and the older man diving into his food next to him. "I don't know how long I'm going to be gone though, and this is someone that I haven't seen in years." He explained, raising his eyes up at the chopsticks brought to his attention from a fondly quiet Richard, that would only mean George slapped John's utensils away and put the chopsticks in his grasp as well.</p>
<p>"You'll be fine Paulie, she's your aunt. She'll love you." George said, smiling at his unnerved friend as he took a seat next to Ringo and across from the other couple. "Don't be worried."</p>
<p>"Her being my aunt doesn't mean anything." Paul retorted, eyebrows furrowing. "My dad is my dad and you see how that is."</p>
<p>John swallowed down his food with the sprite given, twisting in his seat to face Paul and brushing a loving hand through that head of hair to capture his attention. Paul blinked, glancing over at his boyfriend, looking pretty as fuck in mostly John's clothes. "Its okay to be nervous. If you feel uncomfortable on the trip you can always call us. I'm going to call you anyway." He said, a soft smile on his face when Paul looked seemingly more relaxed with that revelation, John continued. "We don't really know why you're doing this, but trust me, everything is going to be okay at the end." And with that, he leaned into kiss the younger's cheek before softly convincing him to eat.</p>
<p>"I'll pack a lunch for you so you won't have to eat that screwed up airplane food." George said as Paul began to eat while John just distractedly finger combed his hair, he didn't mind it at all - he loves John touching him so affectionately.</p>
<p>"Hm?" Richard hummed, mid-chew, eyes wide and innocent, quickly he swallowed the food in his mouth down. "I thought airplane food was nice."</p>
<p>"Not really love, it's a bit undercooked. It depends on what flight you take. Paul's been on the plane more than me though."</p>
<p>Paul stopped eating, licked the sauce from his lips at the sound of his name ripping himself from his thoughts, and stared at George for a couple of seconds to register what he was talking about before somehow withering himself into the conversation. "Oh! Yeah, um - I don't remember the taste of the food, but the flights were different since my dad would rent the private planes out." With that being said, John gaped at him, he couldn't imagine himself being so rich to rent planes out, or have a private jet in general. What a lucky and unlucky childhood at the same time. It's interesting to John how he also has a wealthy side of family, never getting the chance to interact with them at all in his lifetime, but Paul was the total opposite. An alternate universe between these two would be an extensive mind trip.</p>
<p>"What time is your trip?" George questioned, adjusting his seat, picking up his chopsticks.</p>
<p>"The day after tomorrow. So I have enough time to pack and stuff." Paul said, but then a sudden thought had plopped into his head, turnt to look at John with some type of sparking his expressive eyes."John what time do you think Pete will be done? With the info gathering and all."</p>
<p>John had immediately dug into his thought process, riveting through an estimation of the time frame, he wasn't really sure. "I don't know, soon? It won't be long." He gently said, and then he looked into Paul's eyes with a speculating gaze. "Why do you ask baby?"</p>
<p>"You'll find out." Paul replied, leaving John in the dark of what he was thinking about at that very second, he began chewing at the inside of his cheek as he poked nonchalantly at the food.</p>
<p>George huffed, a pout forming on his face. "When can we meet Pete up close?"</p>
<p>Richard nodded his head, chewing cutely, his eyes bouncing off of the three younger men as they shared words with each other. The food was extremely good, he never had this type of dish before and he was pleasantly dedicated to it. Hopefully they would have leftovers, Ringo loved the way his boyfriend cooked this and he hoped that he would make it again.</p>
<p>"You'll meet him soon, I guess. He's a busy lad." John had said, squinting blindly at his empty plate and frowning since he was still hungry after 'exercising' with Paul for a chunk of hours. Paul had quickly noticed his forming pout, and held up a piece of his food up to the older's mouth silently requesting for him to open his mouth. George rolled his eyes playfully, a small smile birthing onto his face as Paul fed John some of his food. Gosh, they were so cute together. The fact that they were in a rough patch seemed almost unbelievable to him, but at the same time, it was kind of noticeable from the way Paul seemed more sensitive than he usually were to John's touches. John seemed more careful whenever he tried to touch Paul, it kind of made George confused since he assumed that they were fucking earlier, especially when Paul walked into the kitchen with shaking legs and a flustered face.</p>
<p>"Go and get some more food, you're going to eat all of mine at this rate." Paul said, letting John guide his hand back and forth from his plate up to his mouth, feeding himself with the use of the younger's hand. "You're such a baby."</p>
<p>"Mm," John grunted while chewing, frowning cutely at Paul with a full mouth.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Paul clicked open the gold locks of his dark green suitcase, drifting it open and feeling against the rich satin. Jim tried to tempt him to get leather, but Paul had argued about the use of too much animals that would become endangered for a fucking leather suitcase. The violent smack in the face that made his jaw sore, caused him to bleed a little from his mouth, also making him cry, was worth it, at least he got what he wanted and no animals were harmed for the time being. Paul inhaled, held in the breath, and then exhaled shakily - calm down Paul. The end is near, and the past would be the past only. So with that mentality, he fought the urge to dwell on the amount of times he was punched, slapped, stomped on and plummeted. The consequences of what happened to him were about to surface.</p>
<p>Packing at least five day clothes, and night clothes since he had no idea how long he'd be there, Paul walked over to the closet aside his bathroom - opening the door, gathering some cloths, sponges and towels to use if his aunt didn't have a spare. To be honest, Paul was just getting more and more nervous as the time to leave neared. John had ultimately walked into his bedroom, standing near the door for a minute as Paul placed some of his socks into the suitcase. He stood there staring at the younger, tracing his eyes over his figure and those legs that moved wondrously underneath the shirt of John's that Paul had worn on. Fuck, he was going to miss him when he leaves, and John didn't even know how long it was going to be. Walking over towards Paul who still had his back turned, the older slowly wrapped his arms around the younger's waist and leaned his chest against the other's backside, their warmth mingling together. "You look so soft."</p>
<p>Huffing out a laugh, Paul had just leaned into the embrace with a smile on his face. "Shut up."</p>
<p>"No seriously," John pulled away and twirled the man around so that Paul was facing him. "You really do look soft. Very comfortable. You're beautiful, you know that right?"</p>
<p>Paul bit his lip, and was quiet for a few seconds before emitting a soft. "Yes, I know."</p>
<p>John was elated to hear that, the first instances of hearing Paul compliment himself was something that almost made him cry. Paul blushed at the smile that formed on John's face, feeling full of affection, true affection that was only given to him. He closed his eyes when John leaned forward to press a gentle kiss at his lips, clutching him close and protectively. Paul was just so addicting to him, it gave John the motivation to continue having his hands on him at all times. Of course that's impossible though, and it kind of saddened him. "I love you." John had murmured when Paul had pulled away to go back to tending to his suitcase. "Fine specimen."</p>
<p>"Love you too, dork."</p>
<p>John ventured to the more spacious side of the bed, laying down on his back and removing his phone from his pocket. "Remember when you hated me?" He asked, swiping through his phone to go and create some widgets so that his home screen could look annoyingly fancy.</p>
<p>"Mhm." Paul replied, going over to the dresser to seek out some body appliances. "You were so annoying."</p>
<p>"Hey, I didn't even do anything." John whined, "I was just in love and you were being mean."</p>
<p>Paul giggled, and threw an unused pair of underwear at John as he climbed onto the bed, crawling over towards the older man's body. "You were being a pervert, and you had porn magazines lying around in your room." He said, sitting with his legs placed on either side of John's head so that the older had been resting his head in between his legs in an innocent way. John placed his phone down on his chest, taking a look up at the current upside down figure of Paul. The younger hovered over him, moving his hands to cup and squeeze at John's cheeks.</p>
<p>"I told you that it wasn't mine." John said, his cheeks turning a bit pink when Paul played with them, blushing unashamedly. "It was Stuart's doing."</p>
<p>Paul raised a brow, "What were you and Stuart doing  together for you to be having porn magazines."</p>
<p>"Complimenting things."</p>
<p>Paul smirked at the response, "Oh really? Those pretty men got you excited?" He asked, a tone added to his voice that made the older sigh dreamily. John only raised his hands up from resting on his stomach to squeeze at the man's thighs. He kind of wished that the thighs were trembling in his hands like they were doing before, it was so cute to him when he felt Paul shake from his touch. John was never going to get used to it, he was never going to get used to Paul.</p>
<p>"Shut it before you get me riled up." John groaned, face flushing when Paul began to circle his finger tips against his pink tinted cheeks in some type of motherly way, but from the way the conversation was turning it only made John shrink against the bed. "They excited Stuart more."</p>
<p>"Hmm," Paul tapped his nose and leaned down, doubling himself to kiss gently at John's lips, pulling away muttering in that same hallucinating tone of voice. "So what excites you then?"</p>
<p>'He says that like I won't fuck him into oblivion.' John thought to himself, shifting his hand to touch the younger's cheek. "You baby. Only you." </p>
<p>Paul closed his eyes gently, looking pleased as if he was drinking in that sentence like it was some type of drug. John stared at him - genuinely transfixed by his beauty. Fuck - he couldn't believe he still had this man in his palm, his presence and all, despite lying to him for weeks. His Paul was still there. The younger let him have his trust, his heart and his fucking body above all. Lennon still couldn't believe that he's available to have sex with someone as untouchable as Paul, and the remembrance of him having the younger pinned to the bed, withering, crying, making the most delightful sounds that John wanted to record so badly. "Paul, come here."</p>
<p>Opening his eyes, Paul stared at him gently. "I am here." </p>
<p>"No, I want you closer." John said, sitting up and turning his body over towards Paul. "I want to ask you something, come on, come here." </p>
<p>Paul scooted over towards him, padding onto John's lap and sitting casually on the man's thighs. John had rolled his eyes playfully when the younger just beamed at him, at least seven meters away from John's actual body, the older wrapped an arm around his waist, tugging him fully onto his lap so they were flushed together. "When you get Michael back.. I was thinking if I could officially move in with you. I mean - if it's too much, then that's okay. I mean four people already live here already." He said, shy and not really meeting Paul's eyes even though he basically pulled the man into his lap. "I just want us to go to another step, you know. Since we're starting over, I want to be around you more."</p>
<p>"You want to move in? Live with me? For good?"</p>
<p>John looked at him, hesitant. "If you don't mind." </p>
<p>Paul looked shocked, and suddenly a smile pregnant with sheer joy spread across his face as he nodded his head excitedly. "Yes, yes, of course. You can live here! You're moving in!" He cheered, throwing his arms around John's neck, kissing all over his face while John just sat in pleasant surprise at the response. It wasn't like Paul was going to say no to him, but he was still shocked at the quick and positive response. </p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p> John laughed as Paul kissed him, grasping at his cheeks to repeatedly kiss at the older's lips. "Mm," Kiss. "We can get anything you want," Kiss. "Have any decorations that you want in here," Kiss. "Want to make sure you're comfortable." He finished, now fully kissing John with an intent of something affectionate and slow that they both melted into immediately.  John's lips moved against Paul's, his eyes closing as his hands gripped needily at the younger's slim waist. The feeling of wanting to take the younger for the third time that day creeping up on him, but he doubted that Paul would feel like doing something as exhausting as fucking. </p>
<p>"Shit," John muttered against Paul's lips, "It should not be this easy." </p>
<p>Paul ran his tongue against John's bottom lip, relishing in the shiver that racked up his body. "Want me to take care of that?" He whispered, making John close his eyes and nod his head silently while the younger only giggled at the adorable reaction.</p>
<p>•••</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. rouse.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"What was the ending to Green Eggs and Ham again?"</p><p>Paul blinked, and moved his gaze over towards John, staring at him with a deadpanned expression on his pretty face. "The book is nearly done, and you're seriously asking about Dr. Seuss?" </p><p>John blushed, "At least it's better than breaking the fourth wall Paul."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>don't mind the 43, idk what I'm doing but I think that's how many chaps are left? which is like 4. I don't really know<br/>also prepare for a blow in the faceeee :))))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim hadn't expected to see Paul walk into his hospital room at all around five in the morning. Paul came in with some type of hot bag of leftover dinner that he lied to George about, wearing a large black hoodie, his hair neatly combed and the sweatpants he had on made him look more smaller than he should have looked. "Ah, I was kind of hoping you weren't awake." He mumbled tiredly, nonchalance raging off of the charts, not even caring to notice the glare Jim was sending him as he walked over to the chair aside the bed that the old man was lying in. Sitting down and clutching the bag close to him, Paul managed a small smile that made Jim's glare morph into a shocked expression.</p><p>"What are you doing here so early?" Jim rudely asked, his voice unwelcoming and cold as he stared at his oldest son. Paul coming into his room unannounced had dismayed him completely, he also thought that the smile was shit-eating, not genuine, which was partly true but it wasn't at the same time. Sniffing, he looked angrily at the brown bag. "And what the hell is that?"</p><p>"Relax pops." Paul spoke, something shifted in his voice that made Jim incredibly uneasy. "I just came here to read something to you."</p><p>"What's the catch?" Jim asked, narrowing his eyes at the younger McCartney.</p><p>Paul laughed, it was a soft one, kind of nervous as he dug into the pocket of his hoodie and whipped out a neatly folded piece of yellow paper. "There is none. I promise you." He said, placing the bag of food down on the cold floor and opening the paper up. "Are you ready?"</p><p>"Paul, what are you-"</p><p>"A piece for you dad." Paul cleared his throat, ignoring whatever protests that his father would come up with. "Ever since I was a child, you've showed me what fear is. You put me in the hospital countless times, bruised, and hurt me to a point where I would lose consciousness. Whenever you would enter the room, I'd feel incredibly scared, to a point I'd run to the nearest bathroom and throw up." He said, the casualness in his voice spooking both Jim and Paul, thus the younger man continued while Jim just laid silently in his bed.</p><p>"Even when you were in a genuinely good mood around me, pulling me close to ruffle my hair, lifting me up onto your shoulders when we'd go to the football games, letting me go to sleep on your lap after watching movies together all day when mom wasn't at home. Treated me like an actual son."</p><p>Jim was being torn apart by the inside.</p><p>"It's all shadowed by the fear I had from you pulling my hair instead, and lifting me up just to throw me to the floor or to the wall," Paul took a breath, his hands shaking a little as he continued reading what he had wrote down. "Making me go unconscious after a hard blow to the back of my head."</p><p>Jim was also drowning.</p><p>"As the years went by, after mom died, I notice that you'd regret hurting me. Especially when Michael was around, near us by an ear-shot. While I'd be crying, too frozen in shock and pain, I'd hear you apologizing and crying as well. Thinking back to it, I wonder why you deny the fact that you abused me for years even though you realize what you did to me was wrong."</p><p>Jim placed a hand under his chin, his cheek being gnawed on by his teeth as he stared unreadably at the blankets covering his legs.</p><p>"Before mom died, and before I came to realization.. I do believe that I loved you dad. Little James thought about all of the unproblematic times we had, when I got to meet one of your nice and not-so-creepy rich friends, when you'd give me advice. I thought that I would always do something to fuck everything up, causing you to hurt me. That's what you would tell me." Paul said, sitting back in his chair and pausing a bit to register the next sentence that he must've self-projected in the midst of writing this note down. "To this day, I wonder what the hell went on in your head when you'd threaten to kill me and chase me whenever I tried to run away from you." Paul placed the paper down, done and now staring deadpanned at his shaken dad. "So, what was it? What really made you snap?"</p><p>Jim inhaled, more so sniffing as he looked up from the blanket with tearful eyes. Paul was not moved emotionally seeing his father cry, but he still reached into his pocket to remove some type of black handkerchief for the old man. Jim exhaled, shakily whilst he grappled at it through the blur of his tears. "It was you and your fucking mother. She loved you more than me."</p><p>Paul bit his lip, staring at his father, not surprised.</p><p>"<em>You</em> loved her more than me." Jim said, his face going pale with jealousy. "You two loved each other more than me. Ha - I bet the same thing would happen to Michael, and it did." He mentioned shortly, hinting as to why he was truthfully keeping Michael away from Paul, but at the same time not. </p><p>Paul hummed, "I felt safe around her dad, and she loved both of us."</p><p>"No she fucking didn't!" Jim had snapped, those tired eyes bulging teary and bloodshot out of his head, voice scarily animalistic, anger rising as he jolted forward in despair. "No she fucking, didn't. Don't you dare - don't you dare, <em>ever, </em>tell me that she loved both of us you <em>piece of shit</em>." The man hissed out, venom dripping from his crackling voice as he gripped the handkerchief to a point it was bruising his palm.</p><p>Paul had took in a calm breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds to gather himself, there was no need to be scared anymore. Opening his eyes again, the man had reached out to place his hand onto the shaking fist of Jim. The elder's eyes bounded to look at both of their hands, touching, anger was rising like bile up his chest. "She did love both of us. You just made it hard for her. Mom kept me away from you at times because you'd abuse me, it didn't necessarily mean-"</p><p>Paul was cut off when Jim had violently swung his free fist <em>hard</em> into the side of Paul's face, the hit being so hard and filled with explosive anger/frustration/sadness - it caused the young man to plummet off of the chair, falling onto the hospital floor absolutely fucking dazed out of his mind while his father panted in blind rage. "Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Get out you son of a bitch! Get out!" He cried out in rage, sobbing and thrashing in his bed as he cried.</p><p>Well, so much for not being scared anymore.</p><p>Paul was stuck paralyzed with cold sporadic pain on the floor. With cold pain blurring his senses, he lifted a shaking hand up to his mouth that was being filled with blood, and felt around the stinging area before removing his now bloodied hand away from his mouth. '<em>Oh no he fucking didn't</em>,' was what entered the man's mind as he stumbled up onto his feet, too unpleasantly blissed out in pain to give a fuck on trying to get whatever he wanted to get out from his father. So snatching the bag of lunch, Paul left out of the obnoxious room, his eyes watering from the coursing pain shooting through him as he held his hand over this flooding mouth. A punch in the face was the last thing he expected from a man, he assumed was too weak to bare so much strength. There wasn't any anger though, just pain and shock. He didn't have time to be angry.</p><p>Somehow passing the half-sleep nurses, Paul stumbled blindly into the parking lot, bleeding profusely through his mouth as if he was a blood fountain. Hopefully nobody seen him, that'd be embarrassing. As he rushed to the passenger seat of his car, he held his hand out to somewhat grapple at the handle, shaking hands delaying him. God he needed to get himself together. </p><p>John was startled awake when the door swung open, and a disheveled Paul had clambered in with his mouth covered. "How'd it g- woah, <em>woah</em> baby, holy shit." John had immediately panicked when the younger removed his trembling hand from his mouth, tears from the pain streaking down his cheeks. The sight of Paul bleeding like this triggered everything that was murderous inside of the older man while he rummaged through the glove box for the first aid kit. "Shit, shit, shit. Did he hit you? Did that son of a bitch hurt you Paul?" He asked, treating the blood pooling inside of his boyfriend's mouth.</p><p>Paul didn't know what to do. Whether to say yes or no. Whether to breathe through his mouth, or through his nose. Then at the same time, he was at a dead-end here with both ultimatums. To be honest, the feelings of a concussion was creeping up on him. Panting and crying while John basically cleaned the horrific amount of blood in his mouth, gripping at the seat as his mouth hung open for John to treat it. There was fresh cut at the inside of his mouth, his teeth harshly grazed against the wall of his cheek when the punch had landed. John was so angry he was shaking, the bloodstained cloths and the sounds of Paul hiccuping, the already formulating bruise on his cheek sparking actual matches in John's stomach.</p><p>'<em>I'm going to kill him</em>.'</p><p>John noticed that he said that aloud since Paul had immediately grappled for him, shaking his head as he attempted to speak, but his jaw had ached too much which made him stammer out a pathetic. "John," There was a wince and a sharp inhale. "No, I said what I had to say - just drive home. I don't feel good."</p><p>John looked stoic, glaring over at the hospital building with intentions that could have him landed in prison for life and it only made Paul tug at his arm desperately, wanting to snap John out of it. He could feel the inconsolable anger radiating off of John's form, and it was genuinely scaring him more than anything else that had transpired over the last couple of minutes. "Baby I'm fine, let's go, <em>please</em>." He begged, squeezing at the man's forearm with his own shaking hands.</p><p>Exhaling after a beat, he decided not to argue against the request. It was mostly since Paul was visibly in too much pain to even keep his eyes open, and he actually didn't know what his boyfriend's headspace was mentally at. He didn't want the younger to fall into a bad seizure out which would further aggravate the gradually forming concussion. So silently turning the car on while Paul just clutched at the side of his face, withering in pain in the passenger seat - he aggressively guided the gear shift, before backing out of the parking space, he made a direct pinpoint in his blank mind to head for home. </p><p>••</p><p>"What the fuck happened? How did he get hurt?" George asked an internally angry John, concern coating his features as he gestured his hand over to Paul who was laying on his side with some new clothes on, an ice pack on his cheek as he curled up against the seat of the couch. </p><p>John's jaw clenched, "Jim had hit him in the fucking face. He was crying and bleeding all over the place, there's this big gash in his mouth, he can barely talk." </p><p>Richard came out in due time, walking over towards Paul and stroking his arm with a gentle smile. Paul's eyes blinked open, glancing up at the man for a couple of seconds before pulling him down and on top of him basically - a silent message for them to cuddle with each other and Richard was happy enough to oblige. While George and John angrily rambled with each other, the blue eyes man had brushed strands of Paul's hair away from his face and pouted at him when he noticed the purplish color blanketing his cheekbone. "I'm really sorry that this happened to you Paul, especially the day before you leave and all." He said gently, squeezing the younger man while he rested his own cheek on the boy's shoulder. "You're too precious."</p><p>"Hm," Paul softly emitted, his eyes blinking closed slowly, teeth clenched together as the soreness of his mouth began to drill mercilessly into his skull. Richard's warmth and soft words were making him drift in and out of a much needed sleep. At least he tried to open up, and soothe the hate against his father with an explanation from the old man as to why he treated Paul the way he did. </p><p>In another thought, he wouldn't mind if that would be the last time he'd ever see his father.</p><p>Meanwhile John couldn't get the image of Paul out of his head, looking dazed and teary from what had occurred. That beautiful face struck, hit, pained by the hands of Jim. John was pleading with his self control to not drive back to the hospital and strangle that old man to death, he couldn't believe it. Well, he could. But at the same time, this whole situation felt too uncomfortably surreal. The fact that Paul didn't want him to do anything just made the murderous sensation even worse, but at the same time, if Paul wanted John to beat his dad's ass then there was a chance that he would have told him to. So there had to be some type of finality behind this one. </p><p>"Paul's going to recover from this." George sighed, rubbing his temples like a stressed parent. "This was so uncalled for though, even for Jim. Like what the fuck is your problem old man?" </p><p>Richard peeked his head up, "Guy's he's asleep."</p><p>George nodded his head at Richard.</p><p>"He was in a lot of pain. I- I really don't want to see him like that again. Shit."</p><p>"Yeah John, I know." George said, his voice was so <em>bland</em>, and it angered John even more that this was a regular occurrence when it came to Jim McCartney, so regular that it made it seem as if he was the main one overreacting about the situation. </p><p>Over the last hour or two, Paul had different ice packs pressed against his cheek to keep the swelling down, George had offered him some salt water to swish around in his mouth to relax the irritation of the cut before going out with Richard to get some new capsules of painkillers. John massaged his jaw with two fingers, rubbing circles into the aching spot while Paul just quietly let him do so without any interventions. It made it incredibly easier for him to talk. "Ah - you're pressing down too hard." He harshly hissed out before flinching, making John's hand jolt back like he was burnt, but Paul had gently guided his hand back to his jaw again, the gentleness substituting for some type of apology for snapping at him. "More softer, okay?"</p><p>"I'm sorry baby." John had murmured, softly rubbing the sore spot again. "You don't deserve this, I should've walked in with you, he wouldn't of hit you if I was there."</p><p>"It's fine John, I really don't care." Paul had softly responded, his voice dripping with casualty as if he wasn't punched in the face so hard he was knocked dazed onto the floor. "I still said what I had to say to him, and he just blew up. It's not anyone's fault but his. So don't dwell on it, okay?"</p><p>"I won't, but - fuck. It really frightened me seeing you hurt and in so much pain." </p><p>"Says you," Paul giggled, glancing up at John with a small smile that looked pained from the soreness. "You literally got jumped to unconsciousness, think about how scared I was."</p><p>John chuckled, and removed his hand to place the cold cloth of ice against his cheek which made the younger tense in his arms. "I'm sorry about that by the way. I was winning at first and then I got sneaked by someone, it was an odd fight." </p><p>Paul grew quiet for a bit, the smile gone now which had caught John's attention. The older looked at him, watching as the boy frowned, and gently murmured a still-scared. "You didn't wake up at all." Then he seemed to push himself against John's body even more, wrapping his arms around the man's backside to hug him close. "I was so scared because I didn't know what was going to happen."</p><p>"Nothing happened," John reassured. "I'm here Paul, and I feel fine now."</p><p>"But still, it all could've been avoided and you wouldn't of gotten hurt. You really could've gotten yourself killed." Paul had said, squeezing John as he buried his face into his chest, inhaling the older's scent and melting into the warmth.</p><p>"You're right, you're right." </p><p>Paul had hummed, some type of stubborn 'I know I'm right, don't disagree with me, you cute asshole' type of response.</p><p>"Now you on the other hand." John began shortly after, gently pulling Paul away from him and feeling carefully at the bruised cheek, some short spikes of anger still striking his headspace. "Are you sure you're okay to leave by yourself tomorrow?"</p><p>Paul nodded his head, "Yes. I'm sure." He answered with a gentle voice, pushing closer against the older again like he was a cat trying to manage through a small space. John held him close nonetheless, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead as he rocked the both of them against the cushion of the couch. He needed to take his anger out on something. The more he saw Paul wince from pain whenever he accidentally brushed his tongue against the injury in his mouth or every time he yawned, the more anger would throttle him. Even though John hadn't witnessed it, (if he did then there's a chance he'd be in jail) but he seen the aftermath of what Paul had to go through for fucking years, and holy shit. How the fuck did anyone let this go on for so long? </p><p>The comfortable silence was broken when Paul's eyes popped open after he fluttered them closed for a couple of seconds. "Oh! I have to go and see Michael." He exclaimed, gently pushing John off of him as he sat up on the couch, but the movement was too quick for the aching side of his face and he grasped immediately at his cheek. "Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch." He groaned, crumbling into himself as the pain bleared unpleasantly throughout his head, causing John to scoot to him and quickly wrap him up in his arms again. </p><p>"Woah, careful baby, be careful. Do you want me to pick him up and bring him here?" </p><p>Paul had slowly blinked his wet eyes, staring blankly for a couple of seconds as he tried to manage the soaring pain. John had waved his hand in front of his face to bring him back down, and it caused Paul to look up at him with a confused expression on his face until he finally registered what was told to him. "No, can you call him for me? I don't want him to see me like this actually." </p><p>"Yes," John had reached into his pocket, removing his phone and going to Mimi's contact. Tapping on the phone logo to call her, he turned his attention to Paul while it rang and lifted the disregarded but still cold pack of ice to press it gently against the cheek. The tense flinch he got from Paul broke his heart, the younger grunted and shifted away a bit from the coldness but John was persistent. When Mimi had picked up the phone, a welcoming tone of 'hello John' coming through the phone, John had smiled wide. "Hi Mimi." </p><p>"Hi love, is everything fine?" Mimi asked, her voice being put on speaker by John. The question was somewhat innocent compared to what had actually went on, Paul was delighted to hear Mimi's voice, how accepting it had been compared to all the other times. </p><p>"Well.. not really?" John had replied, the funny sound in his voice made Paul giggle through the pain. </p><p>"What happened?" Mimi had asked, the tone in her voice shifting into something that was coated with concern. The shift in the conversation made Paul blush a little bit, he was only used to a couple of people being genuinely worried about his condition, George and his mom for the most part. "Is everything alright?" </p><p>After getting permission from silent eye-contact with his younger boyfriend, the auburn haired man jumped to explain what happened. "Me and Paul went to go visit Jim at the hospital around five in the morning because we had a lot of stuff to do the rest of the day, Paul had written something from the heart to go show his father. So I waited in the car for him, then Paul came back with his mouth all bloody and his cheek bruised up." </p><p>"My goodness." Mimi said, setting down the mug of tea and staring at the floor with her eyes widened. "Is he okay?"</p><p>"He's still in a lot of pain, but we have an ice pack to his cheek right now. Jim had hit him really hard." </p><p>Mimi felt her stomach churn, everything beginning to crash down onto her as more and more confirmation dawned on her. Jim was a neglectful, abusive, manipulating waste of air. This whole time she was partnering up with an abuser who truly cared less about the two children. The shock was stunning her. How could she be this blind? John and everyone else had their reasons of distrust and dislike against the old man, but she'd always brush it off. "Tell Paul that I apologize for this happening to him. No one deserves such barbaric behavior being brought upon them since childhood." </p><p>"I'm right here. It's okay, Mimi." Paul croaked, his jaw begging him to stop talking. "I'll be fine."</p><p>John smiled at him, his eyes glistening with affection. "Mimi, Paul's leaving early tomorrow to go and see his aunt. We don't know how long he's gonna be gone. So can you put Michael on the phone so they can say goodbye?"</p><p>"Of course." Mimi had said, "Give me a few minutes, he just woke up." </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>Paul settled himself into John's lap, holding the ice pack up to his face - willingly. Even though it was irritating him like hell. The younger man leaned his side against the other's chest and rested his head against John's shoulder, stifling a pained sigh from the discomfort he was in. "My face hurts." He mumbled, some type of genuine laughter following up with that statement shortly after as he nestled his face into the crook of John's neck as he cackled. "You laugh at anything." John had replied, moving his hand up and down Paul's back as the younger's shoulder shook from how hard he was laughing. At the dame time, he didn't know why he was laughing either. It was just some type of warm hysterical feeling washing over him.</p><p>"Hello?" Came Michael's voice, tired and groggily as he held the phone up to his ear while cutely rubbing his eyes. "Paulie? Johnny?" </p><p>"Hey Mikey." John greeted, the sound of his voice making an adorably tired smile become etched across the boy's tiny face. </p><p>"Hi Johnny. How are you?"</p><p>"Eh," John managed, before poking a giggling Paul in the stomach to get his attention. "I got your brother here. Beware of his laughter though, he thinks something is funny."</p><p>"Shh," Paul hissed at him with a pout, before forcing out: "Hi Mikey, I missed you."</p><p>"Hi Paulie!" Michael exclaimed, excitement flooding his voice. "I missed you too! When can I see you again? I want to go and see you!"</p><p>"Not right now, but really soon. I have to go on a trip okay? When I get back, I want to take you to see John's sisters." Paul had said, not missing the way the older man had beamed cutely at that idea, "We can all go to the amusement park together. How does that sound?"</p><p>Michael blushed at the thought of going out to play with John's siblings, sisters, to be technical. Flustered and suddenly shy, he accepted the idea with a soft 'it sounds fine' before swiftly changing the subject away from the girls to bring up the 'trip' Paul had briefly mentioned. "A trip? Where are you going?" He asked, rocking back and forth on his heels while he twiddled with his fingers in anticipation for the fun that was ahead. </p><p>"I'm going to see a family member of ours. Our aunt from our mom's side." </p><p>"Oohh." Michael panned out, blinking a bit as he tried to drink in that information. He never really got to know anyone from his mother's side, he even didn't get to know his own mother that much before she died. So this had took him by surprise a little bit. "Can I meet her?"</p><p>Paul smiled, "You'll meet her soon Michael."</p><p>-----</p><p>"What's all this then?" Giovanni asked himself under this breath, toothpick in his mouth as he read over the piece of paper that Jim had left discarded on the floor. Reading over it briefly, and noticing that this was written by Paul since there was no one else that could achieve this type of personal divulgence. Not Michael, the kid was too young. "Ah, Bambi." The man muttered, folding the paper and placing it into his pockets to give to his second cousin. Jim wasn't in his bed right now, so he had to be in the lounge room again with all the other old fuckers. </p><p>Maybe he could pay the guy one last little visit before shit hits the fan. </p><p>Pete was waiting at the door of the lounge room, arms crossed, and eyes flirtatiously gazing at the male staff member who looked way too good to be working here. "What's your name cutie pie? Do you do valium? That shit hits different. Trust me." He said, catching the man completely off guard. </p><p>"No, I don't do drugs." The man had shyly replied, cheeks blushing as Pete unashamedly checked him out. "My name is Ross by the way."</p><p>Pete scrunched his nose up, "You don't look like a Ross. Can I call you Al Capone?" </p><p>Before the man could respond, Giovanni had already met up with them, his aura being too intimidating for Ross to bare. Pete looked at the man, and smiled at him, his eyes gleaming with a question that was not needed to be asked. 'Are you ready?' Giovanni had smiled back, and the two smiles had left poor Ross genuinely confused as to what was about to happen. </p><p>- TBC.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. sleet.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'M SORRY IK IT'S BEEN A WEEK :( </p>
<p>i will confess that i had some writers block that added onto that, but it was more like i knew what to write next but i wasnt sure how to put it in the story. i had to delete 1k worth of words &amp; rewrite it all over again. i should really make a deleted parts book or something bc theres a ton lmfaoo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Aah." Paul hooked his finger into his mouth, pulling at it and angling his head to get a look at the inside. Despite it being twenty-four hours, the gash was still a shade pinker than the rest of his mouth - not actually red as it was before. The soreness was still occupying it, but the swelling had gone down significantly, however the bruise was still blooming. His flight was delayed for an hour, which kind of panicked him but made him feel relieved at the same time since John took him to the doctors since the pain had never let up throughout the night.</p>
<p>The punch to the face wasn't strong enough to fully break his jaw, but it did a number on it, and the Doc prescribed him some medication to soothe the injury. Paul thought it was all chaotic, John was understandably upset, watching like an eagle as the Doc had felt gently all over his face and massaged at the tender spot. What was lucky for him is that there wasn't any questions asked about how he got this injury, Paul didn't find it necessary to tell them all that he was punched in the face by his father. Especially since this type of incident didn't live up to all of the other things Jim had done to him. "Stop." John firmly said, causing Paul to flinch from the sudden appearance of his boyfriend. Much to John's worried annoyance, Paul accidentally brushed his finger against the inflamed spot and hissed out in pain while John had grasped at his wrist, pulling the younger's fingers out of his mouth.</p>
<p>"The doctor said not to touch it. And what are you doing? Touching it. You're just going to irritate it more." He sighed, a furrow in his brow as his eyes darted across Paul's pouting expression.</p>
<p>"Don't talk to me like that." Paul murmured stubbornly, not meeting the brown eyes that stared intently at him. He blushed from the petite embarrassment that washed over him, feeling as if he was child that got caught doing something that they shouldn't of had done at all. Plus, the genuinely annoyed-worried tone in John's voice made him feel flattered at the same time that the older was stopping him from possibly injuring himself even more. "I was just trying to see how it looks now, if it's healed up."</p>
<p>"You'll know if it's healed up when you <em>feel</em> that it's healed up Paul." John had retorted, his voice becoming softer now as he cupped the man's cheek gently in his own hands, causing Paul to flutter his eyes up at him. "Just stop touching it before you hurt even more."</p>
<p>"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." The younger huffed, playfully rolling his eyes as John leant in to kiss briefly at his lips, making Paul's insides melt into a puddle of warm chocolate, his heart skipping a beat and a darker blush to blanket his cheeks.</p>
<p>"God. What am I going to do while you're gone?" John had asked more to himself than Paul, giving the other man another kiss that made him giggle breathlessly, resting his forehead against Paul's, his hand placed lightly on the crevice of Paul's neck. With his thumb gently brushing against the younger man's soft skin, he sighed. "I'm going to miss you."</p>
<p>"I'll miss you too. Don't worry, I'm going to call you when I get there." Paul had gently said, moving his head back to lean in properly and peck at the auburn haired man's lips, draping his arms off of his shoulders.</p>
<p>"Are you sure you'll be fine by yourself?"</p>
<p>Paul had thought over it, and then nodded his head after a couple of seconds. "Very. I can fight people if I have to John, if that's what you're wondering."</p>
<p>"I'm not saying you can't." John replied, planting his hands on the younger waist now, squeezing his hips distractedly, thrillingly taking in the surprised breath he withdrew from Paul's lips. "If you're put in a situation where you have to get your hands dirty then don't hesitate to call me."</p>
<p>'Fuck why did it sound so hot coming from him?' Paul had briefly thought to himself while his hazel colored eyes searched John's dark ones, blinking back down to earth and then inhaling through his nose while he steadily pulled the older off of him before he could gather some ideas that would most likely have him late for his flight. "Ditto." He cleared his throat, moving away fluidly to walk out of the bathroom - humming.</p>
<p>John followed him, his hands stuck in his pockets s he watched Paul feel around his suitcase to make sure he's got everything. Hence it had then slipped out through the older's mouth before he could even catch onto what he was saying, "If this doesn't work out. Would you be upset with me?" He asked, something filtering the tone of that question, like fear and desperation.</p>
<p>It caught Paul completely off guard, glancing up from his suitcase and staring at John, truly taken aback. "No, not at all." He uttered after a couple of seconds.</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>Paul had immediately waddled over to him, and placed both of his hands on John's cheeks, giving them an affectionate squeeze that made the older blush a little bit. "Because I know that you've tried nonetheless. You helped me in so many other ways as well, I would be disappointed but not in you. None of this is your fault anyway." He said, smiling reassuringly at John. "I'm sure enough that everything will end well though."</p>
<p>John had sighed, seemingly relieved. "I love you." He confessed, hugging the younger tightly, arms bracing around his waist as he took in the graceful curve of Paul's body against his. Paul hummed softly eliciting a gentle 'I love you too' that had caused the other man to blush terribly, eyes fluttering closed as he let the older bury his face into his neck. John had held onto him for a little bit, taking in his scent before enough time had passed by for Paul to gently peel away from his boyfriend and go over to his suitcase, his phone ringing loudly in his back-pocket. Most likely his ride since George couldn't drive him, the youngest man in their friend group being wrapped up in his own activities with Richard. John had walked out of the home with Paul, carrying his suitcase voluntarily, not even taking any arguments from a flustered Paul.</p>
<p>John had terribly expected a Uber, but it was a small limousine, the driver being an attractive, gorgeously dark skinned female with pearly white teeth, who stood by the trunk which was already opened. "Hi!" She smiled politely at the two, waving her hand welcomingly. "I can take your bags, you can settle in Mister McCartney."</p>
<p>"Okay, just give me a few." Paul had replied, smiling back at her while John had wordlessly handed the bags over towards her. Grasping at John's hand, he pulled the older towards him and met him with a big kiss that made John's heart flutter. Meeting him fully, the older had wrapped an arm around the younger's waist and pulled him close as their lips moved together fluently, as if they were made to be pressed against each other in passionate kisses. Fuck. Paul pulled away, placing gentle kisses against several parts of John's face before smiling fondly at him, those gorgeous eyes glistening when he stared up at his boyfriend. "I'll be back soon, so don't go crazy. Okay?" He asked, the smile on his face never fading as John nodded his head quietly.</p>
<p>"Okay baby. I love you. Stay safe, okay?"</p>
<p>Paul laughed gently, the sound was beautiful. "I will." He replied, moving his hands down to the arm wrapped around his waist to gently peel it off. John got the signal, reluctantly removing his arm from around the raven haired man's waist."I got to go now, okay? I'll call you when I get there. Promise." The boy said, leaning in to kiss at the older one last time before moving to open the door to the limousine and climbing in while the driver began to start the car. John had closed the door for him, watching as the younger rolled the window down, smiling gleefully at him while waving his hand innocently. "I love you."</p>
<p>"I love you more." John had responded, the somber and sulking feeling rising second by second as the limo began to pull off. He didn't want to be overdramatic and run after it, it would be embarrassing to the both of them, so instead he just kept shouting that he loved Paul while the other man continued to wave as the limo started drifting down the street. As the distance grew between them, the sulking feeling built up large enough to have John genuinely feeling upset that his boyfriend was gone for fuck knows how many days. Standing in the now-empty driveway, John had just circled around with his arms crossing over his chest and a frown growing on his face momentarily, soon enough he was sitting by the driveway with his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs.</p>
<p>Now what?</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>As soon as John could no longer be seen, Paul smile had faded and his hands began shaking from the anxiety that had dawned over him. He already mentally prepared himself that he was going to go on this trip by himself, but what was filling his nervousness in was the idea that he was seeing somebody for the first time in years. Without any idea how their personality was about to turn out like. Fuck he was scared. Wrapping his arms around himself, and squeezing he glanced out of the window to see the trees with leaves blooming of different colors, buildings, and grumpy pedestrians walking the sidewalks of town to possibly get to their car as quickly as they could.</p>
<p>Paul had bit his lip, and played with his phone, mastering levels on candy crush to soothe the bubbling anxiety that had purged him. The silence of the ride was bringing him to the edge as well, so he had took part in looking up from his phone towards the driver who seemed to be dancing to invisible music in her seat. "It's okay if you want to play any songs. You don't have to drive in silence, I won't mind. It's a long ride there." He told her kindly, smiling when their eyes met from the rear view mirror. The driver had blushed from embarrassment, covering her mouth with her hand when she concluded that Paul must've been watching her mouthing words and dancing to a song that was blurring loudly in her head.</p>
<p>"Are you sure mister McCartney?"</p>
<p>Paul nodded his head, tapping his thumbs on his phone. "Yes, and you can just call me Paul."</p>
<p>The driver had smiled, squealing silently as she reached over towards her phone sitting on a phone stand on top of the dashboard, honestly feeling flustered. Not only was her client very attractive, he's letting her play music in the car, plus the fact that he's very quiet and nice? This was such a win for her after dealing with rude rich people all fucking day.</p>
<p>"What's your name?" Paul had asked, suddenly feeling social enough to ask that question.</p>
<p>"Oh, my name is Erin."</p>
<p>"Cute." Paul replied, before going back to playing on his phone while Erin had just excitedly browsed through her playlist on Spotify. To be honest, he needed some music to plug in some sound to disrupt the vague silence and to have his brain moving more healthily. When the sound of gentle soft indie music warped the atmosphere, Paul had sat back in his seat and placed the phone on his lap while letting his eyes wander around the inside of the limousine.</p>
<p>Back when he was a kid he used to ride in cars like this all of the time, unsafe, without a car seat or anything. Jim would have him sitting on top of someone's lap, preferably a stranger but hopefully not a pervert. When Paul glanced out the window again, he assumed that it'd be be raining outside in a little bit.</p>
<p>Then Paul remembered John would get really sick in the rain. He smiled a bit with a rosy blush blanketing his cheeks, his heart pulsing immediately at the thought of John, gosh he missed him already. Paul hated how upset the older looked when the car was pulling off, how unmistakably sad his expression had been. At the same time, John had genuinely understood that there was a meaning behind Paul going to Ireland all by himself. Hopefully George or Richard would take care of him, Paul would call them to make sure that they were surveying his ill boyfriend. The fact that John gets colds in the rain was so adorable to him, all Paul wanted to do is feed him some soup, cuddle him and watch cartoons with him while kissing softly at his flustered cheek.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Paul was feeling somber. He couldn't wait to call him when he gets to his aunt's house.</p>
<p>After four soft songs, Erin changed the playlist to newly released pop songs but kept the volume down to a minimum in fear that it would disturb Paul. The buildings were becoming more descent and there was a few sightings of planes flying above the vehicle as if the airport was becoming closer. Raindrops began to fall free onto the windows and it made Paul tug the jacket he was wearing close to him, coincidentally it was John's.</p>
<p>It made him miss the man even more.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"Here you go!" Erin had smiled, handing Paul's suitcase over to him. Paul came back down to earth and blinked, looking away from the entrance of the airport and staring over at Erin with somewhat of a confused look on his face, taking his suitcase into his grip. "Have a safe flight Paul."</p>
<p>"You're leaving?"</p>
<p>Erin raised her eyebrows in surprise, her lips parting as she began to fluster. "Uh yeah - I have another appointment to get to. This is as far as I could go."</p>
<p>Paul frowned, pouting a bit. She was such good company. Now he <em>really</em> has to be by himself. "Oh okay." He muttered, reaching into his pocket and removing his wallet. Erin's jaw had dropped as Paul had whipped out a whopping five-hundred dollars, as a fucking tip. That's more than she gets paid weekly. Holy shit. Paul grasped at her wrist, placing the bills into her palm cautiously before smiling at her, murmuring a shy: "Thanks for everything."</p>
<p>Erin had to repeatedly remind herself that Paul had a boyfriend when their eyes met for the final time, his soft and warm hand still wrapped around her wrist, she squeaked out. "You're welcome."</p>
<p>Paul let go of her, waving quietly as the girl had speed-walked away from him, repeatedly chanting 'oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh' under her breath and pulling out her phone to call her best friend to fangirl about what just unfolded. Paul was oblivious to his charm, but he had a thought enter to his brain on whether or not he made that girl fall for him. Shrugging, he closed his wallet and gathered his suitcase to hurry over towards the front desk to check in. To be honest, he had no idea what to do next since hadn't been on a flight in a long time.</p>
<p>Lucky for him, there was different staff members who wore a work vest and black trousers that had their name tag on. Carrying different tablets with scanners to make sure that the passengers who were attending various planes could correctly check in. One of them had stopped Paul, a fake smile on their tired face as they patiently asked for his name and identification. Handing his ID over, Paul had chewed nervously on his bottom lip and began to hum one of the indie songs that had been playing in his head since the car ride.</p>
<p>"Okay, you're in for flight twenty-two. It takes off in twenty minutes. Just make sure your suitcase and belongings are scanned through, as well as yourself. Then you can put your stuff in the luggage area, and then right over there.." The man had pointed over towards the food cafe area, making sure that Paul had seen it. "Is where you can buy some food, but you have to eat it here, okay?"</p>
<p>Paul was overwhelmed. "I'm so sorry. I- what?"</p>
<p>The man had chuckled, thinking Paul was adorable. "Alright we can go over it again. It's been a busy morning. Have you ever flown here?"</p>
<p>"I don't remember." Paul admitted, truthfully. "It's been awhile. I'm sorry. I know you're tired, I'll just-"</p>
<p>"No, no, you're fine son. Don't even fret. Do you want me to walk with you? Just in case if you're unsure?" The man had asked while closing his tablet and holding it to his side as if Paul had already answered his question. It seemed as if the answer was going unsolved anyway since the man was already guiding him to the suitcase/bag scanning area, friendly hand on the younger man shoulder as they walked throughout the airport.</p>
<p>Paul felt so <em>stupid</em>, having one of the staff members guide him around like he wasn't equipped to do anything by himself. Then came the thought of John refusing to have Paul pay for his own things, and John basically doing everything for him, being so protective as if Paul couldn't fight his own battles. It wasn't normal for him to be diving in his thoughts so early in the day, to be getting himself so worked up over fucking nothing, Paul looked around, seeing everyone else, every other adult doing their own thing and following the natural rules of the airport. So why was it him that was getting extra help like a lost child? Is his dad right? Is he really stupid?</p>
<p>Paul had subconsciously shrank away from the man, shivering. "No, I'm fine. I'll figure it out. Thanks." He quickly said, face flushing with even more embarrassment as he quickly went the rest of his way over towards the luggage scanning system. Placing his suitcase on the conveyer belt, and watching it go into the machine, Paul had ran a trembling hand through his hair, trying to fight away the debuting derogatory thoughts.</p>
<p>'This is fine. This okay. You're doing fine Paul. All of this is alright, it doesn't mean that you're even lesser than yourself.' Paul told himself, following the movement of the belt to the other side of the machine to make sure his suitcase came out safe and equipped for going on a flight. 'John wouldn't want you to think like this. Just calm down, we've got this.' Surprisingly, the mental pep talk worked because Paul seemed to have gathered himself over the last two minutes as he walked through the scanning system, safe and unarmed with anything potentially dangerous.</p>
<p>Someone had met him through, politely volunteering to take his suitcase to the luggage area so we wouldn't have to do it. Paul had thoroughly made sure that everyone else behind him had gotten the same privilege, and then eagerly left off to the cafe area. After the doctors visit, he didn't really have any time to eat any proper breakfast, so he took the opportunity once it was in his hands. John had firmly told him to not eat any hard solid foods while he was gone, to which Paul had rolled his eyes at and stubbornly retorted: 'don't tell me what to do' but of course he was going to listen nonetheless. So with that, he ordered a medium banana milkshake and a freshly baked cinnamon roll.</p>
<p>Once he got to his table, he carefully dug in, chewing the sweet breakfast slowly so he wouldn't re-injure his jaw. Pulling out his phone to check the time, there was a good ten minutes left for him to eat before he could get on the plane. Afterwards, he went to go and text John since the temptation to interact with his boyfriend was clawing at him significantly.</p>
<p>'hi i'm at the airport, and i miss you :('</p>
<p>Hitting send, Paul took another bite of his food, crossing his legs and sighing through his nose at the goodness that had washed over his tongue. It didn't take John long to type up a response, and the sight of him talking caused Paul to blush feverishly.</p>
<p>'i miss u too baby. i'm so sad &amp; sick'</p>
<p>Paul had pouted his lips at the message, taking a sip of his milkshake and checking the time again before texting him back quickly.</p>
<p>'don't be sad baby, you're making me feel bad. also take some medicine and lay down, get some sleep so you won't get a headache'</p>
<p>After sending the message, he placed his phone down beside him and began wrapping the rest of his cinnamon roll up, and placing it in the bag that he got it in. Paul briefly wondered if he was allowed to take it into the plane. The man did say he had rot eat his food here, but hopefully the flight had some type of snack time where he could eat the rest of it. Taking large sips of his milkshake, Paul checked his phone again to see John text back with a picture of Plankton from Spongebob holding out a heart with a frown on his face. Snickering and shaking his head, Paul sent a meme back before standing up in his chair when the five minute mark had hit him.</p>
<p>Putting his phone on airplane mode from that point on, he shoved it into his backpocket and took the cinnamon roll bag, plus his drink into his hands before rushing over to the foyer that lead to the flight passage.</p>
<p>Surprisingly they let him through with his drink, and food. Paul was relieved since he kind of forgot to tell George to pack him airplane food in the first place. Hell he didnt even get to say goodbye to George at all. He wondered how that was going to unfold.</p>
<p>Speaking of George - </p>
<p>"John, what the fuck?" George questioned holding up his umbrella to cover both him and John while Richard stood aside him with his own umbrella, the couple stared aghast when the older man had been sitting on the driveway, drenched from the onpouring of rain. "You're going to catch pnuemonia out here. Get up." He ordered, shaking his head at the older, already exhausted from the possible chaos that might transpire between the three of them. </p>
<p>John had scoffed, rolling his eyes as he saved the meme Paul had sent him. "I was going to. Just got distracted." He mumbled grumpily, standing up and ruffling his wet hair. Sneezing, nose suddenly filling up with mucus and his throat burning, John cursed under his breath. George huffed and took Ringo's hand in his as the two of them began to walk towards the front door, John followed with a comically sad expression on his face, walking slow and slumped behind them which caused him to no longer be covered by the umbrella. </p>
<p>When all three of them entered the home, George called out for Paul as he closed the umbrella, ready to take off his rain jacket. "Paul! Your boyfriend was sitting out in the rain!" He exclaimed, voice echoing off the walls, resounding across the home while an innocent Ringo only looked around with some type of dilligently invested expression on his face. John stared at George, mouth taught and eyebrows furrowed as if the younger had just punched him in the stomach. </p>
<p>"Um Georgie?" Ringo called out to him, heading back towards the taller man as he closed his umbrella and began to take of his jacket as well. "I think Paul's gone." </p>
<p>George blinked, looking lost and pale like a piece of paper. "Gone? You mean, he left? Already?"</p>
<p>Before Ringo could respond, John had already butted in. "Yeah, he left earlier. Like an hour ago. That's why I was sitting out there, moping, and sad." He explained somberly, before moving his gaze off of the floor to meet George's confused eyes. "So sad." John dramatically whispered. </p>
<p>"Oh my God. He was serious about going by hisself?" </p>
<p>John nodded, feeling a weight in his chest, the sudden feeling to scream into a pillow at the thought of not being there for Paul if he was in trouble. "Yes, and I'm worried."</p>
<p>Richard shrugged, "I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a grown man guys, he's twenty-one."</p>
<p>"Yeah but-" John and George jinxed each other, speaking in unison with worried voices. RIchard was jive enough to cut both of them off, a serious look fixated in his mostly smiley face. </p>
<p>"It's okay to be worried, but I'm sure Paul is old enough to fight whomever is giving him any problems. We all know of his past but if you two keep sheltering him in like this as if he's a child, I'm sure it's just going to backfire in the <em>wrong</em> way. Let him do this by himself, there had  to be a reason why he doesnt want us to come with him." </p>
<p>George had sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he exchanged a knowing look with John. After a couple of seconds the two of them nodded in understanding. The oldest of the three had soon dropped the intimidating look, going back into an innocent smiling mess. "Now let's all have some leftovers of what George had cooked! John make sure you dress into warm clothes! I'll put on a movie for us, okay?" He listed, rushing to George to stand up on his tippy toes and press a kind kiss to the younger's lips before going over to hug John, both of them subsituting as some type of apology for snapping at them. "Alright let's go guys, come on!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. battles.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah it's up to 46 now bc this chapter is literally just me fucking off<br/>excuse the errors<br/>i dont like this one, but i hope you all do!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Turbulence wasn't that bad. Thankfully. Paul's eyes had fluttered open from the hour nap, it still looked early, but it was obvious that it was in the middle of the day. Unfortunately the rain hadn't let up, and there had to be close to at least thirty minutes left on the flight. Before going to sleep he ate the rest of his food and drank all that he needed to. Stretching his legs and arms to an extent in his seat, he removed his seatbelt and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't remember being so sleepy." He murmured to himself, rubbing his eyes with his other hand while reaching for his phone to check the time. There was a bloke quietly reading next to him, headphones on, and his intent eyes being deeply invested in Hamlet. Paul was betting that it was the pure copy of it too. </p>
<p>Picking his phone up from the arm rest, he turned it on, removing the airplane mode, and then having the warning of twenty-percent battery life being shoved into his face. Eyes widening, he cursed at himself after remembering that his fucking charger was left in his goddamn suitcase. Then he remembered that it was fully charged when he left. So what in the hell had happened? Why and how was his battery life drained so fast? Paul clenched his jaw, frustration settling in. He was close enough to blaming himself for everything until the man next to him had pulled his headphones down, and turned to him, tapping at his shoulder. "Hey dude, is that your phone?"</p>
<p>Oh great, a yankie.</p>
<p>Paul had eventually blinked, staring over at him questioningly. "Yes?" It came out questioning since the man had looked increasingly guilty when realization had flooded his head.</p>
<p>"Oh! I thought it was someone else's. Well, while you were asleep I started playing with it. It's the brand new phone that I haven't gotten yet so I was curious as to how it worked."</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>"I watched a couple of Buzzfeed Unsolved videos, if you didn't mind."</p>
<p>Disbelief washing over him, Paul couldn't even form any words, well he couldn't form words that were particurlay polite. Senses drowning with what you could call, pure annoyance, Paul took in a deep breath before talking in the nicest way possible. "What made it okay for you to grab at a phone that's not yours and invade their stuff? Even if it wasn't mine, that's still weird as fuck."</p>
<p>The stranger shrugged, looking blunt. "Maybe you should've had it on your pocket. Don't get mad at me, gosh." He casually said, sounding as if his feelings were deeply hurt from the confrontation. Paul had just watched with silent anger as the man went back to reading his book, nonchalantly flipping the page as he adjusted his headphones on top of his head again. When Paul turned the phone on, battery life decending down to 17 percent, he began to grumble under his breath and slump back against his seat in deep thought as to what he should do.</p>
<p>There had to be a charging port, or something like that. His phone couldn't be dead when he arrives to Ireland, that would just end up fucking tragic, an actual shit show. There was actual contacts on his phone that he would desperately need, and there was no way that he could borrow it from someone else. Paul bit down on his nail, mind trying to figure things out on its own while his irritation just continued to bubble at the fact of how radical this situation is. What would John do? Holy shit, what <em>would</em> John do? There was a chance that John would actually physically harm the man for running his battery down, and sabotaging his personal belonging. Then that's when it dawned on Paul how fucked he probably wa sif this man had snooped into his personal business. So this is why people decide to put passwords on their phone. How naive could he be?</p>
<p>No, no, no, this was not on him. This guy invaded his privacy, and it wasn't his fucking fault. None of this was his fault. What was going to be his fault though - was having to confront this man when they get off of their flight. Hopefully they won't be split up. Not like that would be an issue anyway since Paul's daddy-anger issues was sparking momentarily, making him scratch his nails agains this thigh as he bit donw harshly on his nail, glaring out the window impatiently.</p>
<p>As thought, Paul left down the stairs of the plane behind his intruder, both of them along with several other folks ready to go and get their suitcases inside of the airport building. Skies were an unattractive dark grey, meaning it was going to rain again or perhaps it was already drizzling. There was a strong urge to kick him down the stairs, since it'd be more slippery for damage - but he already knew that it was just his father's genes talking. Of course he was not going to follow through with it, even though his phone was at fifteen percent now. It'd most likely be at seventy if his shit wasn't fucking touched, but no, of course not.</p>
<p>Inside of the men's room, Paul had suddenly smacked the back of the intruder's head. "Give me your charger."</p>
<p>"What the? No!"</p>
<p>Paul smacked his head again, <em>harder</em>, his hands more fist formed. If the intruder didnt cooperate, he was going to succumb to his father issues and use his suitcase to the back of the man's head this time. "What did I say? Give me your fucking charger. Now."</p>
<p>The man turned around, rubbing the back of his head and faced the younger who was staring at him deadpanned, but actually filled with anger. "Where are your parents?"</p>
<p><em>Whack</em>.</p>
<p>"Ow! Why? Why the hell do you need it?"</p>
<p>"Because you took my fucking phone, and ran the battery out. Now I get to use your charger."</p>
<p>The man scoffed, digging into the pocket of his bag, removing the portable charger that was inside of it. "Fine, here! Just give it back when you're done." He grunted out as Paul eagerly snatched it from him, which caused the loose end of the charger to strike the poor man's eye. A smile of accomplishment began growing on his pretty face while he clenched the charger tightly in his grip, eyeing it like it was some type of treasure.</p>
<p>There was absolutely no fucking way he was giving it back.</p>
<p>Sitting at the couch in the airport lobby with the man peering over him impatiently, whose name he figured is Mark (looks like Paul made a new friend, by force and threats of bodily harm), the younger had cautiously texted his aunt on the messenger app, not really sure since it was unknowing of what he was going to be greeted with.</p>
<p>'i'm in ireland! :)'</p>
<p>Instead of a response, his phone had quickly transfered to a incoming call screen that made him jump slightly, making Mark stare at him in confusion. Paul had answereed the call quickly despite being frightened from how fast things were going, he sighed, holding it up to his ear as the excited voice of his aunt boomed into his ear. "Paulie! Oh my boy! Hello! Hello!"</p>
<p>"Hi."</p>
<p>"Speak up!"</p>
<p>Paul repeated himself, a bit louder this time. "Hi aunti-"</p>
<p>"HI!"</p>
<p><em>Oh my God</em>.</p>
<p>Mark was reaching for his charger, but Paul smacked his hand away and shooed him away while his aunt was pouring out different compliments and praises. One had stuck out to him, making him blush in embarassment. "Oh I bet you've grown so tall!"</p>
<p>"I mean.. yeah, sure."</p>
<p>"You're probably as tall as your cousin!"</p>
<p><em>Oh my God times two</em>.</p>
<p>"And um, how tall are they?"</p>
<p>"He's 6'1."</p>
<p>'Ooooof <em>course</em> he is.' Paul had clicked his tongue, eyes unintentionally narrowing into a death glare towards a random object in front of him. "Well, alright then. Can you send me your address again so I can take a ride there?"</p>
<p>"Yes, honey, of course. Oh my gosh," She squealed, "I'll send it over now."</p>
<p>Paul had took the phone off his ear and waited for the notification, so did Mark, but he was waiting for something else of course. Soon enough the address had sent over, and Paul made sure to save it into his notes before putting the phone back up to his ear. "Thanks, I'll be there soon." He said softly, earning an excited 'yay' in response with distinctive claps. Hanging up in the midst of it, Paul had then eyed at the corner of his screen, reading: 89 percent battery life. It should be fine, but he was conflicted on being petty and waiting until it fully reached one-hundred.</p>
<p>"C'mon man, my girlfriend is waiting for me. Let me get my charger back." Mark had impatiently sighed, basically pleading and deliberately whining to get the younger's attention. He had to meet up with his girl soon, and all he wanted was to get his charger back.</p>
<p>"No." Paul flatly said, cutting his eyes over at Mark. "It's not even full yet. Plus, if you didn't touch my phone, I wouldn't be using your charger."</p>
<p>"Are you going to sue me if I snatch it out?" Mark asked, voice challenging as he glared at Paul, his eyebrows raised to make it seem as if it was a genuine question. The raven haired man couldn't believe it. Out of all the shit that strangers had pulled around him, this had to top the cake and he might actually have to physically fight this dude.</p>
<p>Of course he won't be the one to have it escalate <em>that</em> though, it would just give him a bad look. It'd be really embarrassing as well. So he'll just go for the jugular instead.</p>
<p>Paul calmly inhaled, and sat back against the seat, his grip on the charger significant. "Listen. You may not care, but all of this shit is kind of new to me. I want it to go as smooth as possible," He looked at Mark again, gaze menacing. "However, if you want to snatch the charger out, then do it. I <em>dare</em> you."</p>
<p>Mark matched his glare and then shrank back huffing, "Okay, chill. Listen - I'll just call my girl and tell her that I'm going to meet her later." He did a touble take, "How old are you?"</p>
<p>Paul rolled his eyes. "Does my age matter?"</p>
<p>"Bro you look twelve."</p>
<p>Eye twitching, Paul looked down at his phone with his face flushing in annoyance at both Mark and some of his childlike features. Mark sat down next to him, head in his right hand as he scratched at his head, feeling lost and a bit off standish. Pulling out his own phone, fully charged (Paul glared at it), he started calling his significant other whose contact name was Lizzy pie. Suddenly, Paul had realized that he was close enough to being able to call John when his phone hit a hundred percent. He was kind of hungry too, so maybe he could go and get something to eat before heading to his aunt's house.</p>
<p>"Yeah? Nah. <em>Yeah. Nah</em>." Mark repeated, his frat-boyness peaking when he spoke to his girlfriend. "Sorry babe, I'm still at the airport. This bad British kid won't let me leave until his phone is charged full. With my charger, by the way."</p>
<p>Paul's lips parted, something unkind ready to drop from his mouth, luckily he had stopped himself on time to save himself from the idea that Mark had got him worked up enough to publicly ridicule him. There was no way he was giving this man the satisfaction. </p>
<p>"Gosh I missed your little accent."</p>
<p>'Oh save me the earful.' Paul thought to himself, slumping a bit in his seat as he tapped his foot, going on a lucky limo app to find a driver.</p>
<p>When the call had ended within the scape of eight minutes, Paul had checked his phone seeing it at ninety-two percent. It won't take long for one-hundred to hit, and then he'd be by himself again. This time the thought wasn't so anxiety inducing since he sincerely didn't like Mark, feeling irritated every time he felt the other lad's eyes glance over at him with equal annoyance. "Dude." Mark had suddenly spoke up, crossing his arms and turning to Paul for some type of fulfillment of a conversation.</p>
<p>"I'm not your dude."</p>
<p>"What's your name then.. dude?" Mark asked, moving his hand to jokingly push at the younger's shoulder. Paul was at his brink, smacking Mark's hand away harshly which resulted in a yelp of pain, followed by soft laughter. "You brits are so serious, and so depressing. Can't let that shit go on in the bay area, I'll tell you that."</p>
<p>Paul stared at Mark, disbelief washing over him, there was only a few times where he met an American. This one wasn't giving the best impression, and at that point Paul couldn't even tell if he was immensely annoyed at Mark or just in a bad mood. "What the <em>fuck</em> is the bay area?" He roughly asked, not even trying to hide the agitation in his voice while he gaped at frat boy Mark.</p>
<p>"Oakland, California. Aka the best part in Cali. You should visit one day, it's so cool. all of San Fransisco." Mark had said, "You know - I took my girl Lizzy there once and the look on her face was unforgettable. It was so cute."</p>
<p>"I don't care." Paul spat in response, voice stilled with a purpose to engrave those three words into the older man's head.</p>
<p>"See, look." Mark had nonchalantly took his phone out again - despite the pure irritation that Paul presented - and put in the password, going towards his camera roll. "When you grow up, you should take your partner to Oakland sometime my man. It's such an urban place."</p>
<p>Paul rubbed his forehead, looking off in the distance as if there is a camera pointed at him like he was Jim from a television show called the office.</p>
<p>The pic was shoved into Paul's face, and what Paul had seen was an extremely beautiful young woman with coincidentally auburn colored curly hair, she was most likely at a toll plaza beach in Oakland. The woman was wearing a one piece swimming suit that fitted her perfectly, a bright smile on her face as she looked into the camera with glimmering, light green eyes. Paul was about to fling Mark's phone across the building but the eye capturing scenery of the picture had stopped him, right as his hand was gripping the phone harshly, ready to fucking yeet it. "Oh," He breathed, letting go of the device. "She's really pretty. This was taken in Oakland?"</p>
<p>"Yeah," Mark fondly said, moving the phone from the younger's face even though Paul's eyes had continued to follow the device innocently. "I met her two years ago, at a grocery store, and the first thing I noticed about her was the Ireland accent."</p>
<p>Paul looked up from Mark's phone, then at Mark, a new look in his gaze. "A grocery store?"</p>
<p>Mark had eagerly nodded, meeting Paul's eyes. "Yeah dude. It was Walmart I think."</p>
<p>"I have someone with the same hair color." Paul had said, not sure if he should keep being anonymous. "Like the exact same hair color. She has like a reddish color to her hair right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, like auburn, I think. You mean you've got a girl with auburn hair too?" Mark had asked, his eyebrow raising as he darted his eyes across Paul's face.</p>
<p>Paul blushed, "I- not um.. yes? But he's n- I mean.."</p>
<p>Mark snapped his fingers, his own cheeks being tinted pink as realization struck him. "Oh! That's my fault. I shouldn't be assuming. That's on me, my bad. So he's got the same hair color? That's so cool, man."</p>
<p>Paul played with his fingers, the red blush never leaving his cheeks after he basically just outed himself to a stranger. Not even really knowing who this person is, nor did he even actually care about his existence. However Lizzy saved Mark from having a broken phone, and she also helped Paul actually converse with this weirdo. Mark would seem more friendlier if he didn't violate Paul's personal device, and they would have an easier time talking with each other on both sides. It seemed as if Mark didn't care about the animosity towards him that came from the younger, it reminded Paul of when he first met John. The feeling was different of course.</p>
<p>Checking his phone, Paul looked at the battery and immediately felt relieved when he seen the ninety-nine percent.</p>
<p>"You never told me your name." Mark said, pushing Paul's shoulder again, jokingly. "Or your age."</p>
<p>"You should know since you went through my stuff."</p>
<p>"I only played games and watched Buzzfeed videos most of the time. I never went through your personal stuff, that's disgusting."</p>
<p>Paul grumbled, "But still."</p>
<p>Mark had defensively threw his hands up in the air, shaking his head and puffing his chest out. "I am sorry for doing that. For real, on my mom, I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Paul had freaked as soon as Mark was finished with that sentence, eyes widening as he tensed up in his seat. "Don't swear on your own mother, are you crazy?" He questioned as if he was a priest who just had some heard blasphemy, if anything he was mostly self projecting. "What if something happened to her? The fuck?"</p>
<p>"Chill dude, my fault. I'm sorry for swearing on my mom, I guess." Mark said bluntly, sounding as if he didn't mean it. "I don't really care if anything happened to her. She's a bitch anyways."</p>
<p>And one-hundred percent.</p>
<p>Plus a notification that his ride was waiting outside at the front of the building! Bingo. Time for him to finally get the fuck out of here.</p>
<p>Paul unplugged Mark's charger, and threw the cord at the older's chest in micro aggression, dispersing from the original determination to keep the charger to himself. "That's my cue to go. Tell Lizzy I said hi, I have to leave now." He hurriedly said, not giving Mark time to register what had just happened since he was already speed walking towards the front exit.</p>
<p>"Wait!" Mark's voice echoed, not too far away. "Hey! Wait up kid! You never told me your name!"</p>
<p>Paul hoped to God that he wasn't being chased by that man, it would just futher the embarrassment he had felt entirely. While holding the suitcase close to him, he made his way outside towards the vehicle waiting out by the curve for him, and of course it was raining still. Unprepared, but still rushing to leave, Paul had opened his door by hisself so that the driver wouldn't have to get out and threw his suitcase in. Settling inside of the car, he closed the door and first handedly locked it.</p>
<p>'Welcome to Dublin, I fucking guess,' Paul thought to himself, rubbing his face as he felt the car begin to move, an awkward silence coming from the driver at the abrupt entering of their client. Suddenly Paul was embarrassed, feeling as if he made a scene, but then he tried to convince himself that part of it wasn't his fault. It's like people just love messing with him for the strangest reasons, and it's not only people sometimes, it's himself along with certain objects. "Can you play some music?" He asked after a couple of seconds. </p>
<p>••</p>
<p>George dusted the flour off of his hands, and made sure Michael did too. Looking at the child, he noticed that the boy had some flour on his cheeks, hair and forehead too. The boy looked adorable, sitting on the counter top next to George with his own miniature batch of dough sitting on top of a cutting board in his lap "How the hell did that happen Mikey?" He asked, giggling while Michael just adorably twiddled his hands around with his little smile making love fling in the air. "You little idiot." George had affectionately said, staring fondly at the boy as Michael flailed his arms around.</p>
<p>"I was dusting my hands off and it got in my hair." Michael had explained, stopping his arm flailing before he could get clumsy and knock something over. "When is the cake gonna be ready Georgie?" He had then asked, looking up at the man with pure eyes.</p>
<p>"Biscuits Mikey, biscuits. Then later we can make a cake, as long as it's okay with Mimi."</p>
<p>Richard had walked by the two, with a half eaten bowl of soup on his hands and some unopened ginger ale. "John's feeling really hot, he's been sleeping all day since this morning. Hopefully when Paul calls him he'll wake up." The blue eyed man chirped, putting the bowl of soup in the sink as Michael and George continued to play with the dough together. "Mimi's with him now, making sure his fever doesn't worsen. Getting sick in the rain must really be upsetting."</p>
<p>"I hope Johnny feels better." Michael pouted, his eyes glistening with sadness. George had distractedly reached over towards him, absently ruffling the boy's hair, not even remembering that his hands were covered with flour and dough. Richard watched but he didn't say anything, deciding to keep it as some type of self-inside-joke.</p>
<p>"John will be okay, he gets through these." Richard had said, bringing positivity to everyone. "Well that's what Mimi had said, I don't know really, but she knows him more than any of us do."</p>
<p>"That's because she changed his diapers." George had comically said, formulating the dough and the flattening it again when he concluded that it wasn't perfect. "So of course she knows him more than us."</p>
<p>"If that's the case, then shouldn't Paul know him more than us too?" Ringo asked innocently, confused by George's statement.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Michael and George had both asked in unison.</p>
<p>"Well, if Mimi knows John more than we do since she had changed John's diapers and all, then that also means Paul knows him more than we do too since both of them would have s-"</p>
<p>George had squeaked, shrieking out. "Richie! Children are in our presence, shh!" He panicked, cheeks flushing red at the imagine that just popped up in his head, and - oh my God.</p>
<p>Michael blinked, confused. "Paulie and Johnny would have what? I don't get it."</p>
<p>Ringo blushed and looked down at his feet as George tried to distract Michael from how 'nsfw' the conversation was heading towards. "Keep kneading the dough Mikey, just keep kneading the dough."</p>
<p>"Has he not had <em>that</em> talk yet?" Ringo asked, carefully and just so oblivious.</p>
<p>"Richard!" George squeaked out again, "That's his brother.. and plus, he's seven!"</p>
<p>Michael tended to mind his own business since he wasn't getting a clear answer out of whatever the hell George and Ringo were fussing about. He wondered on about Paul, wanting to know what his brother was up to while he was gone. Then Michael wondered on whether or not Paul liked baking things too, especially biscuits. All in all, he wasn't even paying attention to the bickering couple, too distracted by the dough to pay the conversation any mind. If John was well enough, he'd tell the older to come out and help them make some biscuits.</p>
<p>Speaking of John, he laid in bed, themometer sitting in his mouth and pillows fluffed to capacity. Mimi was watching the classic looney toons with him, sitting by his bed, hands classily clapsed together with her fingers interlaced. This was a familiar scene when it came to rainy days. John coughed at the same time the thermometer beeped, and Mimi whipped it out of his mouth immediately to check the numbers. "Ow." He muttered, turning over onto his side, facing his aunt, whining. "You didn't have to yank it out."</p>
<p>"One o' one." Mimi had said, shaking her head and cutting her eyes over at John. "What were you thinking? Sitting out in the rain like that."</p>
<p>"I was sad, and I didn't feel like going inside after Paul had left."</p>
<p>Mimi blinked, her eyebrows furrowing. "He left already? Oh, poor thing." She cooed softly, reaching over to pat John's cheek. "But still, don't make me tell the story of when I had to dump you in a ice bath again because you wanted to play with your friends while it was raining." </p>
<p>"It wasn't raining <em>that</em> hard." John had said stubbornly, ironically these were the same words he said when he was six years old and shivering from the sickly chills that had been racking his little body. </p>
<p>"Okay John."</p>
<p>Afterwards, he had cutely yawned, and Mimi took the oppurtunity moved his hair away from his face to place a cold pack on the boy's unusually warm forehead. "Go get some sleep. If Paul calls you, I'll talk to him." She said, before patting his chest, standing up to make her way out of the room while John had just squirmed the covers off of him since he was feeling hot. </p>
<p>There was a small feeling of nostalgia that bloomed through the woman when she had closed the door behind her, and it wasn't hard to cause a smile to spread across her face a little bit. </p>
<p>•••</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. reunion.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy new year!<br/>also i made a tumblr today :) &amp; i do not know how to use it lmfaooo<br/>i also don't know how to send in a link to it but i'll try</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late when Paul had arrived. </p><p>"Fuck." Paul whined in irritation under his breath, shivering from the damp coldness that wracked up his body. Clutching his suitcase in his hand, closing the door to the limosouine with the other after tipping off his driver. It was the same amount he gave to the golden girl that drove him to the aiport earlier that day, it may have seemed too much of a tip for anyone that was not Paul. However, he didn't care. Walking towards the front yard of the home, Paul's eyes scavenged around the property nervously, his throat knotting up in anxiety as he approached the front door. There seemed to be a mini garden growing in the front yard, but it was getting too grey and dark to tell what kind of plants were blooming. It was possible that things were already harvested.</p><p>Setting his feet, Paul reached over to the doorbell button at the side of the door and pressed his trembling finger down on it. The sound of the doorbell elicited throughout the home, making Paul tense up for some reason. His nerves were becoming sensitive and the hairs at the back of his neck rising when the telling footsteps towards the front door began to trace its way into his ears. Paul immediately looked down at his shoes, bowing his head and gripping the suitcase tight when the door had swiftly opened up. "Uh - who are you?" Paul had looked up at that question, looking up at a tall man who had the same eyes and hair color as he did, who was also chewing on an apple while he analyzed Paul. </p><p>Intimidated, Paul took a step back, a cold breeze causing him to fluster and tremble from the coldness. "I'm Paul, James Paul. Is this um.."</p><p>"Aunt Joan? Yes. Come on in, it's freezing out there." The man took a step to the side, holding the door open as Paul shyly entered the home, being welcomed by the aroma of cookies being made. "Haven't grown much." </p><p>Paul blinked, turning to look up at him. "Pardon?"</p><p>"My name is Jean." </p><p>"Oh." </p><p>Jean had eyed him suspiciously, as if he didn't believe that this was actually Paul. At the same time, the last time he THINKS he had ever seen Paul was when he was a little boy, more so a toddler. Jean was around nine. Closing the door, and tapping Paul's suitcase with the hand that wasn't holding the apple, Jean had furrowed his eyebrows. "What's all this for? Are you staying here?"</p><p>"I um.. well - for a little bit? I don't really know." Paul had truthfully answered, cheeks burning from both the coldness and from the embarrasment that shrouded him mercilessly. </p><p>Thankfully before Jean could abrasively interrogate him more, there was small footsteps heading towards the two of them, after a second an ear piercing squeal flooded the foyer. Paul and Jean whipped their heads over to the middle aged aunt approaching them, her hands clapping together, a welcoming smile spreading across her face when her eyes landed on her nephew. "Paul! You're here! You're here!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and holding him tight against her chest while she swayed the both of them. "Oh! You're very cold, let's warm you up with some tea sweetie." Joan had worriedly said, pulling away from the shook man and grasping at his freezing hand, pulling him forward. "And Jean! You take his bags."</p><p>Jean's eyes widened, "What? But he could do it himself!"</p><p>Joan had took Paul's suitcase and tossed it to Jean anyways, it caused the man to clumsily catch it into his arms, his eyes narrowing. "Don't be rude Jean! Put his stuff in the guest room, and don't throw it in there either. He's your cousin." </p><p>'Oh. Makes sense.' Paul had thought to himself, rolling out of the shocked and dazed cocoon. "No, it's okay. He doesn't have to." He immediately had said, looking at his aunt. "I can do it before we drink tea. It won't take long." </p><p>"Yeah, let him do it." Jean approached him, rudely shoving the suitcase into Paul's chest, causing the shorter man to stumble back a bit. "He's got two arms and two legs." With that, Jean had brushed past the two of them and made his way into the living room. Joan had glared at him until the man was out of sight before turning her attention back onto Paul, rubbing her hands up and down his sleeves subconciously. </p><p>"I am so sorry. He's usually so sweet, but he's just - he missed you."</p><p>'Weird way of showing it.' Paul had thought to himself, but from the breathless chuckle that came out of his aunt's mouth, he realized that: "Oh, I said that out loud." </p><p>"We'll talk about it later. Just get unpacked hun, and change out of those clothes before you catch a cold." Joan caressed Paul's cheek with her warm hand, her eyes flickering with adoration. "It's been years. Little Paulie." She murmured when Paul had eventually welcomed in the affectionate touch by gently nestling his cheek against the hand. </p><p>Eventually Joan had told Paul where the guest room had been, and without any guidance, along with a bit of eagerness Paul was making his way upstairs, shivering and a bit wet from the rain. Clutching the suitcase, he headed over towards the guest room door, wrapping his fingers around the knob before pushing it open. Being immediately welcomed by a warm atmosphere, Paul had sighed and turned on the lights while making his way inside of the room. Of course it was significantly smaller than his own back at home, but he didn't really mind. The bed was neatly made with at least four pillows placed on top of it, neatly mounted together, and fuck it just looked unbearably comfortable to lay in. Placing his suit case on the carpeted floor, Paul had turned around and closed the door behind himself, pulling out his phone to check the time before doing anything else.</p><p><em>7:45 pm.</em> </p><p>Stripping to his underwear and socks, Paul had opened his suitcase taking out a grey t-shirt along with some black loose fitting joggers. Putting his clothes on quickly, Paul had yawned and rubbed at his eyes while adjusting the waistband of his bottoms. So far, he was tired and a bit jet lagged even though he wasn't on the plane that long. The traces of exhaustion began to dawn on him now that he was in warm clothes, and a warmer room. Sitting at the edge of his bed, he reahced over and grasped at his phone again, beginning to text John.</p><p>'i'm at my aunts! i'm so sleepy.' </p><p>Paul ran his hand through his hair, staring at the screen while he waited for a response, this included scrolling up to past messages and rereading them for over 4 minutes. "Must be asleep." He mumbled to himself, running his hand down his face before pressing down on his cheek gently to see if there was still any type of sensitivity remaining. However, all he was met with was a tingling feeling that shot down the side of his face. It all must've meant that he was healing up fairly well. Placing his phone into his pocket, Paul had rose up and headed over towards the door to leave, he was slowly becoming nervous again even though the greeting of his aunt was very welcoming. </p><p>His cousin on the other hand, was a different story, and that was obvious. Paul wasn't entirely sure of what Jean had against him, but all he could remember was how his aunt excused his behavior with 'he missed you' as if that gives Paul any actual details or answers. Walking down the stairs, and heading into the living room, looking around the home with wondrous eyes, Paul's eyes had landed on Jean who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, just staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Paul had just blinked and flushed, genuinely unsure of what to do since he was involuntarily wrapped up in a staring contest with his cousin. </p><p>"Hm," Jean hummed, suddenly glaring at Paul. "The hell are you staring at?"</p><p>Paul's mouth dropped, his eyes widening as defensiveness coated his features. "You were staring at me this whole time." He responded, "As soon as I walked in here." </p><p>Not saying anything back, Jean had just slumped down onto the couch, his long legs perched off of the arm chair. Paul had just shook his head, and made his way into the hallway that led its way into the kitchen. There was no telling what Jean had against him, but Paul was too tired to try and figure it out, so he decided to just let it go. Plus, he just got here and he barely got comfortable yet to start confronting people who had an obvious disliking towards him. When he entered the kitchen, he was greeted with the stronger aroma of freshly baked cookies scenting the area and it made his stomach make a small noise as a call out for the sweetness. </p><p>Joan had hurried towards the table, two saucers with mugs of tea balanced in her hands. "Warm enough hun? Come, sit." She beckoned, placing the saucers on the table while pulling a chair out with her foot before turning around to pull a chair out for her too. Paul had sauntered over towards the chair, inhaling as he slowly took a seat down on it, biting down on his bottom lip anxiously while his fingers ran along the handle of the cup. Joan had sat down, eyes gazing at Paul for a couple of seconds as she wrapped her fingers around the teacup. "Are you scared?"</p><p>Paul's breath caught in his throat, some type of embarassment flooding through him. "No."</p><p>"Don't fib, doll. You're trembling. It's okay if you're scared. It's been awhile since we've seen each other." Joan had said, tilting her head with a small smile on her face. Paul withered, and looked away from the gentle eye contact. Joan reminded him of his mother, and it really had struck him. Hard. "You have my sister's eyes. Mary. Oh, I miss her a lot you know. If only I could have seen her more after she got married to your father." </p><p>Paul made a noise, following up with a shoulder movement that resembled a shrug, and he raised his teacup up to his lips. More so to distract himself from thinking deeply about his mother by smelling the scent of the tea that was brewed for him. It smelt distinctively like vanilla. Mary smelt like vanilla. </p><p>"You must miss her." Joan had said softly. Paul nodded his head, eyes becoming glassy. "We tried to reach out to you and your brother, but your father had told us no." </p><p>Asshole. </p><p>"He's a pathological liar." Paul had eventually croaked, taking a sip of his tea and relaxing at the sweetness that had washed over his tongue. Joan had nodded her head, Paul was too tired to wonder what extent where she understood that statement. "I didn't even know that you tried to reach out. To be honest, there was a lot of things I was left out of."</p><p>Joan had sudddenly stilled, and reached over to touch his cheek again, catching Paul off guard. "What happened?" She questioned, brows furrowing as her eyes etched across his face. "Right here's a bit redder than it should be." </p><p>Paul looked confused at the reveleation at first, and then seconds later he eventually remembered. "I was hit in the face."</p><p>"Goodness. By who? Hm?" Aunt Joan brushed her hand upwards, moving his hair from near his eyes causing Paul's heart to combust even more, nostalgia blooming and his throat tightening into a emotional knot all of a sudden. This - <em>fuck</em> - it was Mary all over the place. Mary's touch, the concern in her eyes, and the gentleness penetrating  her voice. Joan had her smile as well, almost identical, and Paul was fucking crumbling. The craving to see and hug his mother again had powerfully dawned on him, making his chest weigh down, his breathing to subside, his eyes wetting up as helplessness had upsetted him greatfully. </p><p>"Him." </p><p>Joan frowned, and then her hand had finally but carefully settled on Paul's. "I've figured something was going on. Do you want to talk about it all, near the morning time? You look exhausted hun." Caressing his hand, she had looked into the glistening eyes of her nephew and felt her heart break at the teary sight. She hadn't expected for this evening to be so emotional, for the both of them really. There was so much to unpack between them two, between all of them to be exact, including Jean - who was going through a struggle of his own against Paul.</p><p>"Yeah, we could talk about it later. I'm really -" Paul took a breath, and stared at the almost completely filled teacup. "Tired." </p><p>- John twisted, blinking sleepily as he picked his phone up. The man had checked the time, it was surprisingly nearing 3:45 in the morning. What really had woke him up was the several missed calls coming from Paul, making him spring up in his bed, headache worsening but his heart speeding up as he went to go hurriedly call him back. Coughing and patting his hand around whilst the phone was ringing, he felt up on his nightstand until he felt the feeling of something that <em>had</em> to be his lamp. </p><p>Moving off of the bed after turning the lamp on, John had groggily dragged his feet over towards his desk to drift his chair back and take a seat with his phone pressed up against his ear. There was five rings that had drilled itself into his ear before he had finally heard someone pick up at the other end, greeting him with an exhale. John tensed. "Baby? Listen, I'm so sorry. I was asleep, and I was feeling like shit the whole day." </p><p>"It's fine." Paul replied, rolling over onto his back, his legs bent to the knee and his arm folded over his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Go back to sleep, I'm fine." He hiccuped, before eliciting a gasping breath was a rush of grief washed over him. </p><p>The sound of Paul crying had immediately sparked panic into John, and he was blinded with it for a moment since he was suddenly flying to his closet to throw out his traveling bag onto the bed. "What happened? Are you hurt? Do you need me t-"</p><p>"No. I said I'm fine. I just really miss my mom." Paul had said, quick to cut John off since he had already assumed that the older was going to be overdramatic once there was a sniffle that made its way out. It was understandable since his own voice was meek and a bit shaky. "I miss her a lot. So I just wanted to talk to you so I wouldn't think about her, but then that'd just be annoying and it would make it seem like I'm just seeking attention or some shit."</p><p>"No, Paul. Don't do that. Don't start talking like that. You know better than to do that. What did I tell you?"</p><p>Paul had shrunk, his face flushing, he hated when John scolded him, it made him tear up even more. "I'm sorry. I just - fuck, I slipped up on that. I'm really sorry." </p><p>"Baby, listen to me. I need you to calm down, okay? Come on, wipe your eyes for me and take some deep breaths. I'm here, I'll stay up with you all night if I have to." John had said, truthfully, stiffling a sneeze into the crook of his arm while listening to Paul sniffle and breathe heavily on the other line, trying to gather himself. The older man waited until it had gone very quiet on the other end, purchasing another minute to make sure Paul was actually coherently able to talk to him. "Alright, you ready to talk?"</p><p>"Yes." Paul had said, voice low. "Me and my aunt talked for a bit, she just reminds me a lot of my mom. It got overwhelming because - you <em>know</em>."</p><p>"I know baby. It's really frustrating." John had responded, "God the year after my mom was killed - it was really overwhelming. It's even worse because you can't even do anything about it." And that right there was one of the many emotions that had been plaguing Paul throughout the night. It was driving him insane that he couldn't be able to connect with his mother anymore, and what made it worse is how she impacted his life so much. Even after death. Usually he doesn't allow himself to fully activate the thoughts about his mom, but seeing the reflection of his mother from his aunt just triggered it significantly. There was no way he was going to escape from it. </p><p>"It really is worse. I see her in my aunt a lot." Paul had eventually said, fulfilling the following silence that came after John's response. "Everything just caught me off guard, and that tipped it all off I guess."</p><p>John had blinked, sniffed and sneezed into his arm altogether before formulating another question. "What else had transpired today? How was your flight?" </p><p>Paul stilled at the question, thinking back at all that had happened to him. Ranging from the charger incident, him having to be briefly guided around the airport, and having to be greeted by an unwelcoming cousin that looks at him as if he wanted to slaughter him without any remorse. God, everything just had a lot of things to unpack behind it, and it was a whole mouthful to spill out all in one night. However, it was John that was on the phone - and he really  loves talking to John, so the burden of it won't exactly be rough and exhausting to explain. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you have a tumblr then mine is @/judesrivers<br/>i'm on there<br/>plus there's more info about me &amp; then there's not</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. ugh.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im a bit nervous about this one, pls enjoy!<br/>excuse the errors, i go back and edit them anyway<br/>if you notice the change in things, no you didnt :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul's eyes had fluttered open, and his tongue darted out to briefly run along his lower lip since it was uncomfortably dry. His phone was still clutched in his palm, laying beside his head, body positioned so that he was laying on his side. To be honest, he didn't even remember going asleep last night, all he remembered was talking to his boyfriend on the phone and the strong desire to see his mother. "Fuck." He muttered tiredly, before moving his phone up to his face and - holy shit. Paul was sent a paragraph, an actual paragraph from John. Sitting up he opened the messaging app up to properly read the whole message along with a few more that John had sent, his eyes were wide and alert despite his body laying still in the same position.</p><p>'ah, you fell asleep. but dont worry, its okay, it was like 5 in the morning lol anyways.. i just want you to know i love you, a lot. i want to reassure you that it is completely fine to get upset at somethings, and it's fine to rant to somebody too. it doesnt mean you're seeking attention. if only you knew how absolutely perfect you are baby, you'd be as whipped for yourself as i am. you're literally the cutest, funniest, smartest, and gorgeous person that i've ever been involved with. when you wake up to read this, i hope it brings a smile to your lovely face. i can not wait to see you again, and give you all the kisses in the world. i miss you baby. you've got this.'</p><p>Clasping his hand over his mouth, cheeks coating red, and body tingling with sensations of affections, the feeling of being flattered, along with reassurance. Paul wasn't sure of where he'd mentally be without John in his life, if Jim sent Michael to Mimi and the two of them never ended up falling in love with each other, Paul having to find ways to visit his brother which would make the difficultness of that stake a claim on his already deteroriating mental health. Looking at the other texts that were sent, mostly just John blabbering and spamming meme pictures with hearts in it, Paul had just fell more and more in love with this man.</p><p>'i love you moree :( gosh idk how you do it but you always find a way to make me realize that there's so much more for me to live for whenever i have second thoughts. thank you so much, john, like seriously. i love you so much.'</p><p>Hitting send, Paul laid there and basked in the feeling of being in love for a long fifteen minutes. Right up until he was unpleasantly interrupted. The door had suddenly opened up, hostile, scarily and then in came Jean who silently walked inside of the guest room, looking around intimidatingly as if he was searching for a hidden weapon that Paul had snuck in. Sitting up in the bed, Paul blinked up at the tall man, his eyebrows furrowing as he parted his lips to try and question Jean as to why he just barged into the room like that.</p><p>"Get up. What makes you think you're sleeping all day?" Jean spat, his glare being dominant enough to have Paul immediately close his mouth, directing his gaze elsewhere. "Aunt Joan sent me up here to make sure you were fine, aka wake the hell up."</p><p>"I just woke up. I had a late night, okay?" Paul had replied, exhaling and keeping his eyes on the blanket covering him. "Just give me a minute."</p><p>"Fine, whatever. Just hurry and get up." Jean had grumbled, letting his eyes stay on Paul despite the finality in that statement. He watched quietly as the younger began to mount off of the bed, rubbing at his eyes and the other hand playing with his bedhair as he stood up onto his feet. Jean bit at the inside of his cheek, and looked away after a couple of seconds. "You're not as tall as I thought you'd be after all of these years. Everyone else is tall in the family, why not you?"</p><p>This had caught Paul off gaurd, almost completely. To be honest, he was not entirely sure what this guy's problem was. "I guess I wasn't lucky." He replied, cheeks growing red a bit.</p><p>Jean continued to stare at him, not noticing how uncomfortable he was making Paul by each and every second that passed by. "What is your problem?" He had suddenly questioned, his voice becoming filled with some type of running emotions. "You think you can just conspire with our aunt behind my back and then come over here to sleep all day? After your family basically cut us off for years? We couldn't even see Mary anymore."</p><p>Paul looked aghast, finally moving his eyes up to meet Jean's, and this time he held the glare bravely with his own. "It's not my fault. There was no intention of cutting you off, I promise, it wasn't like that at all." He tried to explain in the most evened voice way that he could, clutching the sheets tight in his hands. "I'm really sorry that you feel that way - but if you understood what happened to me and my brother between all of those years then it'd be easier to know why we all haven't really been connected."</p><p>Jean hummed, and crossed his arms. "We'll have our heart to heart later. Just - go and wash up. It's almost noon."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Jean walked out of the room, heart aching to hug his cousin and cry to him about how much he missed him throughout the years, but at the same time he was still being roped in by sheer confusion and negative thoughts. Seems like a thing that ran through the bloodline without any sufficient control. It was bumming him out. Jean thought about Paul when he went to bed, wanting to know what had made them so disconnected, having last seen the boy when he was smaller and it was also Jean's birthday. Mary was acting really strange in their last meeting, but then that was justified because Jim was with her too and she was 3 months pregnant. Jean had thought he looked mean, and he kind of was, even when Jim had slid him a couple of dollars.</p><p>Paul was quiet, thirteen, and literally <em>glued</em> next to his mother. Jean remembered him being at a more advance height than him, Paul was at least 3 inches taller than him, and he hated it because he was turning 16. To be truthfully honest, he thought Paul was going to grow up and be taller than him, <em>still</em>. However that was not the case, and Jean wondered why his growth had became so stunted after their last meeting. The thought of Paul not eating any cake, and not singing happy birthday to him along with the others had also entered his head at a random second. Jean didn't mind, aunt Joan had gotten him his least favorite flavor after all and he didn't eat much of it.</p><p>But then again, he had also rembered how Jim did slap the shit out of Paul's arm, causing his son to elicit a pained gasp and then he gritted out: "Eat the fucking cake before I shove it down your throat."</p><p>"Jim!" Jean had remembered Mary hissing, basically slamming her fist down onto the platform and rattling the plates and cups. "Do not hit him! Joan, Jean, I am so sorry."</p><p>"He wants to be rude and not eat the cake Mary. Why don't you let me discipline him? Do you want him to grow up to be a disrespectful person, if he isn't already one?"</p><p>Jean had then remembered how Paul had aggressively kicked Jim's leg under the table, making the elder double over in his chair and grunt. Joan thought that this was just some family banter going on, what with the eldest son going through some type of rebellion phase, but Jean always thought it was something more than that. Especially by the end of the day when it would be the final time Jean would see Mary, and the last time in years he'd ever see Paul, also Michael if you include the tiny baby bump residing in Mary's stomach. Paul hugged Jean for a long time, as if he knew, and he lastly wished him a happy birthday and Jean only cursed at his towering height.</p><p>There was a strange thing about the McCartney's. What was stranger is how Paul seemed to not remember all that unfolded, and it annoyed Jean a lot.</p><p>In present day, Paul looked to be around 5'7 and three quarters, and Jean was 6'0. In the past Paul would be 5'5 and Jean would be 5'2. It really threw him off, now that he was following behind Paul while the younger man was making his way out of the bedroom, hair looking brushed and he seemed more awake than he was when Jean had barged into wake him up. Joan was out in the garden, in garden clothing, harvesting more stuff before winter came with a strong suit. Paul and Jean made their way outside, finding the woman easily, Paul being a little shy to call out for her which made Jean clear his throat. "Aunt Joan, he's awake."</p><p>Joan had looked up, beaming, warming Paul's heart a little too much. "Good! Fix him some food! I bet Paulie is hungry!" She had exclaimed, throwing her dirt covered hands in the air and waving them around in the foggy air.</p><p>Jean's mouth hung opened, "He can cook himself!"</p><p>Paul's mind began to delay, and he suddenly became rigid while he turned his head to look over at his older cousin. "Not um - not exactly. My best friend usually cooked for me back at home, and I really don't know my way around the stove."</p><p>"Aren't you twenty-something?" Jean had queried, eyes piercing into Paul's skull. "And you don't know how to cook a simple breakfast?"</p><p>Ouch. That one had <em>hurt</em>, a lot.</p><p>Paul had a blank look on his face that formed into a hurt look that Jean couldn't help but to notice, the younger felt his feelings and self esteem being struck harshly. Paling up, he shrunk away from the man and rushed back into the house, not knowing whether to strike his cousin in the throat to keep him unable to breathe from his windpipe or just all-out abandon the concept as to why he came here anyway. Not going to lie, he kind of set himself up for that one.</p><p>Joan looked at Jean disapprovingly. "Jean! For Godsakes just fix him something to eat! Why do you have to argue against everything?" She questioned, standing up straight and marching over towards him. "Goodness Jean, you don't know what he's been through with that tyrant Jim." She scoffed, heading into the household, while Jean had just followed her with a look of confusion on his face.</p><p>"Kind of left in the dark here, as always."</p><p>"Listen Jean," Joan took off her gloves. "Paul is a victim of horrendous acts conflicted upon him. I should have told you this before, but - goodness, the things that were passed on were so devastating to hear." She crackled, eyes becoming glassy. "Please be kind to him, I know you're confused about everything, confused about why he's suddnely here after eight years of him being gone, and him not really remembering but you can't put your frustrations out on him."</p><p>So this is a journey.</p><p>Jean thought about that a couple of hours later, sitting on the ledge of his window, staring out at the grey clouds and the drizzling rain. He smoked his blunt, wanting to get high and just fucking relax for once in his life.</p><p>Thankfully Joan was a weed smoker too when shit got hectic. That's why he loved his aunt.</p><p><em>Anyway, </em>Paul was nowhere to be found at the moment, or that was what Jean had thought, to be frank he kind of figured that the man ran away after Jean basically called him stupid. Maybe he is being an asshole, self centered and acting on his emotions more than to put all that Paul's been through first. So it was kind of confirmed that Jim had beat him up as a child, hopefully not doing anything anymore than that. It made Jean sick how someone could just have children and them beat them, and make their childhood's a living hell, creating a cycle that could pass on. Jean wasn't sure if Paul was going to have kids any time in the future though, hell he'd be surprised. The man was very shaky, he'd drop a newborn fresh out of the womb and then boom.</p><p>Jean chuckled to himself, exhaling smoke and tapping the ashes out of the window. Ah, he cracked himself up. If he wasn't intoxicated he would've been crying about how he couldn't help his cousin, try and find the red flags about the last time they've seen each other.</p><p>"That smell is coming from you?"</p><p>Speak of the fucking devil. Jean tilted his head at him, his eyes heavy lidded and red. "Thought you ran back home. Little red riding hood."</p><p>"You mean the little piggy?" Paul questioned, leaning against Jean's doorway, eyes darting around the room. Sniffing around, he furrowed his eyebrows, glaring at the smoking object in Jean's grasp. "What is that?"</p><p>"Weed. What else would it be?"</p><p>Paul's eyes lit up, curiosity striking him like a baseball bat, but just as it came he shot it down. Now it was not the time to explore <em>that </em>fascination again<em>. </em>Instead he just grumbled something under his breath that resembled a hurt 'I was just asking' which made Jean click his tongue, moving off the ledge to hop onto the floor and approach his cousin. "Come on and take a hit."</p><p>"What?" Paul's eyes widened, face flushing. "No, I can't do that."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>'Well first and foremost, it'd be a bit weird for me to do drugs right after being mad at John for selling drugs even though I was curious about drugs before finding out that John had sold drugs.' Was what came into Paul's head, but then that answer would just be all over the place and this guy was already looking at him as if he wasn't apart of the same planet. So instead he just shrugged and murmured: "I might have a seizure."</p><p>"Come off it." Jean huffed, holding the smoking drug up to Paul's face which made the younger back away from it. "Just take one hit, it won't kill you. If anything it'll stop making you all shaky and shit, just relax, I'm not going to hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore." Realizing how sappy he sounded at the end, and the way Paul's eyes sparkled with something, Jean had became flustered at the last statement but it was true. There was no way he was going to have Paul in trouble anymore, and the first thing he wants to do is make sure the man feels safe around him.</p><p>"I don't think I should." Paul had softly said, conflicted from the curiosity and the consequences that came afterwards.</p><p>"C'mon cousin, have a crack at it."</p><p>Paul had sighed, reluctantly giving in, hesitantly taking the blunt in his fingers. "Just one hit."</p><p>---</p><p>"Just the two of usssss, we can make it if we trieeeeed." Jean and Paul had sung together, high as fucking kites. "Just the two of us." Jean continued, driving downtown in his own car as he danced timidly in his seat. Paul had highly sung the high pitched parts, giggling afterwards from how feminine he had thought he sounded. The sound of his cousin laughing made Jean incredibly relaxed, taking another drag of his half finished joint while he drifted into another lane as the car continued to ride smoothly down the busy road. Right now they seem to be in a nightlife kind of area, different pubs and restuarants opened for show, looking beautiful in the sunset.</p><p>Paul exhaled, a soft smile on his face, body and brain turning into mush when he got the joint back into his own hands. "Mm look Jean, look around at the pretty lights." He told him, taking a hit of the joint as Jean glanced around for a bit before pulling his eyes back onto the road.</p><p>"Yeah, it isn't too bad. It looks prettier when it's not raining."</p><p>Paul huffed out some smoke, passing the joint back to his cousin and leaning his head against the window. "No, no, it's nice like this. The rain makes the lights come out sharper, it gives off a more aesthetic theme to the human eye, especially when there's gentle music playing in the background like this. Just imagine."</p><p>Jean chuckled, a long dragged out sound. "I guess so Paul, I mean.. I can see it." He said, placing the joint between his lips to take in a huff that almost finished off the whole thing. Paul looked over at him, staring and watching as Jean basically finessed the whole thing, but he didn't mind. The amount of weed he smoked was enough to have him high for hours, it felt good, relaxing, but another thing was how hungry he was becoming.</p><p>"Fucking starving."</p><p>"Ha, munchies." Jean had hiccuped, blinking slowly. "Are you down for some pizza?"</p><p>"Mhm," Paul hummed, smiling at nothing in particular, gazing out the window that was almost all the way covered with raindrops.</p><p>In line at the pizza shop, Paul and Jean stood side by side, chewing on gum, giggling at nothing as they sent gazes to each other without any context as to what was funny. Paul's cheeks were flustered, his expressive eyes glazed a tint of pink, and they looked attractively droopy right along with Jean's. What had saved them at the last minute was Jean pulling out some cologne and chaotically spraying it on both of them, causing Paul to squeak out from the coldness of the scented liquid splashing onto his relatively warm skin. The manager of the pizza place stared at them, deadpanned with his head shaking in disgust since the smell of marijuana was still significantly distinctive.</p><p>"May I have a medium pepperoni pizza?" Jean ordered, tapping his fingers against the countertop, eyes straining at the options that were on display. Paul stared up at it too, jaw dropped, and his eyes gazing widely at the menu as if it was Jesus walking on water. His stomach was growling, thrumming, and fuck he hasn't felt his hungry in awhile. The feeling to eat was washing over him like some type of purple wave filled with desire for food, freshly cooked food that he wants to shove in his mouth, God he wants everything on that menu. The things he would do just have something good in his mouth right now is — fuck. Suddenly he wants to suck a dick.</p><p>He wants to suck John's dick.</p><p>Paul closed his mouth, and hissed up the spit formulating inside of his mouth from having it opened for so long. Jean was handed a slip of paper after he paid for the order, a number written on top of it, something that they'd call when the food was ready. Turning around, whipping his arm across his cousin's shoulders, Jean pulled him close as they lazily walked over to a isolated spot, both of them staring at for a bit while the haze of intoxication locked them in for a storm for a couple of seconds. Soon enough they were both sitting there, Jean's back was pressed against the back of the chair which made it arch off of the floor on the back legs. Meanwhile Paul had his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs while he smiled softly at the table in front of him.</p><p>"Are you gay?" Jean had questioned, making Paul nervously giggle from the suddenness of that question. Further explaining himself so that it wouldn't become weird, Jean had skimmed his eyes over Paul's face and smiled at him reassuringly. "You don't have to be ashamed, I'm unlabeled for the most part. Still questioning." He said, making Paul visibly relax and shimmy around in the chair for a little bit.</p><p>"Bisexual."</p><p>"Ah."</p><p>Paul had snickered, which caused a domino effect to happen since Jean had threw his head back and laughed aloud for no damn reason but to intentionally disturb everyone else in the pizza shop. Paul laughed softly, rubbing his face as he talked again. "I've got a boyfriend. At home. His name is John Lennon." He told him, licking his lips and growing even more hungrily buzzed at the mere sound of John's name. There was no way he was going to live this arousal down, and he might have to do something out of pocket when he gets back to his aunt's house. Hopefully she wouldn't mind. It's been a long day.</p><p>"Oh my God. Is he related to—"</p><p>"No, he's not related to Vladimir Lenin." Paul interrupted, but then he took a pause to think about it, and that was when the juices of marijuana clicked the thought process in his head. Just like it woukd with anyone who began to think too deeply about something as simple as a last name that sounds similar to another last name. "Or so I thought. I never really wondered if they're related. Oh fuck."</p><p>"Yooooo.." Jean trailed off, sinking into his seat with his red eyes widened in substantial shock. "Your boyfriend may be the great great great grandson of Vladimir Lenin." He said, too high to know how outrageous that claim had sounded, but then again what could he do about it? Paul was getting fed into this, and he actually had no idea who the hell Vladimir Lenin actually was as a person, so when he googled him up to see a portrait of him, he shivered.</p><p>"How am I going to break the news to him? It says Vladimir died January twenty first - nineteen ninety four."</p><p>"Twenty four." Jean corrected the boy with a smirk, staring at his cousin with adoration as he went and crossed his arms over his chest. Paul looked at him with a frown, then looked back at his phone, read the date and then looked up at Jean again with a deeper frown. Laughing at the expression on Paul's face, he ran his hands through his hair, and put his chair back down on the floor - properly. "Don't be mad at me, I was just correcting you. Why would he die in nineteen ninety-four?"</p><p>Paul's smile formed again as he shrugged, feet on the floor, hands pressing against his face to hold it up onto the table. However he pressed to hard against his cheek, and winced as he let out a pained hiss. Jean's high had broke a bit, concern rushing over him as he blinked his eyes over Paul's features while the younger crumpled against the chair, holding his cheek. "Are you alright? Paul? What's wrong?" Jean had asked, unfolding his arms while he leaned forward so his chest could press against the edge of the table. "What happened cousin?"</p><p>"Fucking dad punched the shit out of me the other day, and it still hurts." Paul had pouted, propping himself up against the chair with his hand still on his cheek. Jean had blinked in disbelief, his eyebrows raised, and his jaw was literally dropped against the table. The look on Jean's face made him laugh. "Ah it's not as bad as the other times, like, ooh! Ooh! There was this one time where I was like ten and he backhanded me so hard, I was literally knocked out for hours."</p><p>Jean felt sick.</p><p>Paul kept rambling, becoming out of control, a smile on his face nonetheless as he just kept spilling out different things he remembered. "I think there was a time he punched me in the back of my head so hard, I had a seizure after that and then - and then that was what must've started my seizures." Paul giggled, a roughness in his voice now, his chest feeling insanely heavy as nausea washed over him. Jean was scared, now questioning if that seizure thing Paul was talking about earlier had been  fucking real, and holy shit. What the hell went on in that McCartney home? The things Paul was rambling on about, obnoxiously, to add onto the damage of it - all of those things were blowing the shit out of Jean's high.</p><p>To a point where he was sober enough to stop Paul right at a sentence, "And there was another time he hit me at the back of my neck, I had to wear some type of brace thing because —"</p><p>"Stop! Stop it!" Jean had exclaimed, making Paul freeze, the look in his eyes wondrous and innocent for a brief second before the younger man had suddenly stood up in his seat. Mouth covered with his hand, suddenly sprinting out of the pizza place, with Jean following behind him - whipping out a quick and almost inaudible: "Cancel the order!"</p><p>Going outside, Paul had suddenly collapsed onto his knees right onto the concrete at the empty side of the store, right behind a huge delivery Cola truck. The man had then vomited, it was a certain kind of vomit since Paul hadn't eaten anything at all that day, which must've added onto the sudden nausea that attacked him. Jean had met up with him, looking frightened but still completely worried as the younger man wretched and hiccuped, shaking violently. "Hey, hey, hey, come on Paul. That's it, that's right—" He was cut off by an emotional scream that had shook the area, rattling through Paul's body, ripping through his throat and bruising his lungs. It sounded so inhumane, animalistic and wolffish almost. The fact that it came from someone as feeble as Paul was even more scary to Jean.</p><p>The end of the scream came out as a broken cry, something that seemed like a cry for help. Jean suddenly understood the extent to what was happening, Paul was accepting something, it seemed as if he was accepting something that he was trying to keep down since the beginning. What he needs now is someone to reassure him that the future would be bright before he ends up actually turning into someone unrecognizable, it was a morphing process, and this was the painful part. Jean rubbed the man's back as Paul heaved and continued to make strangled noises, crying out as he pounded his fist into the concrete, possibly at an attempt to  break his hand. However it was clear that man wasn't being self destructive, it'd be more of a determined intent.</p><p>"Let it all out."</p><p>Paul wretched again, stomach caving in, but the vomit didn't immediately come out. He was choking on his tears, pain, and angst, all that he suffered from his childhood was spilling out right now. Jean slapped his back, making Paul cough uncontrollably, right up until the coughs turned into incoherent laughter. Paul began laughing aloud, the sound being not him, and kind of maniacal. This was a signal for the time for Jean to butt in, "Come on Paul, let's get up, alright?" He carefully asked, moving his hands up to grasp protectively at Paul's shaking shoulders only to be violently shoved away.</p><p>"Get the fuck off me!" Paul spat, violence and anger drenching his system, it was blinding him. This was expected when you're dealing with your past, built up anger and violence finally pouring out before you actually find peace in the aftermath. It was the storm before the calmness, and Jean was definitely not going to run away from him, even when Paul was going through the most hardest part of his healing with unyielding rage. Not only against his father, but the frustrations and negative thoughts he ever had against anyone in his life. It was all pouring out unhealthily and the best thing was for Jean to be there for him.</p><p>"It's alright, it's alright Paul, it's me. I'm not going to hurt you." Jean said cautiously approaching the man, not even sure of what he was saying, he got this man high and ended up dragging some type of beast out of him at the same time. This was not what he wanted, he just wanted to get Paul to loosen up and now - now he probably fucking lost him. It was in his hands to get this man back, to mentally pull the puzzle pieces back together since he had taken them apart without even knowing or noticing or both.</p><p>Paul had shrieked and punched him in the stomach. Jean had stumbled backwards, faintly dizzy and knocked sideways from the unkempt strength of that punch. Still, through the blearing pain, he approached Paul again and threw his arms around him while the younger screamed out in rage.</p><p>••</p><p>"Joan, we're back." Jean mumbled, pulling Paul inside by his wrist, clutching his stomach with his other hand. The younger man was sweating, panting, looking flushed, and cursed with all things terrible. At least the unyielding rage had passed over, with Jean having to literally wrestle him onto the ground until some type of worker had to break them up, which didn't end exactly well either. You see, Paul was kind of possessed with something unbridled back there and to be frank, it left him kind of physically unsettled. "Never getting you high again. I swear." Jean had humorously added, chuckling under his breath as he led the man towards the stairs.</p><p>Paul gulped, and looked around, still not sober, the high had transformed into something else. "What are you doing? Let me go. I want to leave." He panted, twisting his arm around in Jean's grip, making out strangled sounds as he tried to rip his arm away to escape somewhere. "Let me go!"</p><p>"Shh, shut up." Jean shushed, whirling around to shut a panicking Paul up. The young man looked up at him, an unreadable or unintelligible look in his eyes, there was no telling what was going through his head right now. Jean's first priority was to wash him up and have him get some rest to calm the hell down, then the second thing to do was to never talk about this night again. Unless Paul wanted to. If the man was able to do that, then hopefully, the next morning wouldn't be absolutely terrible.</p><p>Hours later, Paul was in the shower, rubbing his face and sighing into his two hands. Well - that was that. He had finally snapped. To be honest, it felt good.</p><p>Then again, he was also scared that he'd end up a change person after that. If Jean wasn't there for him, who would've known where he'd be right now. Probably turned into a serial killer, accepting everyone that wronged him into a nightmarish rage as his villain origin story. Paul cringed at that.</p><p>However, it did continue to feel  really good to get all of that anger out of his chest.</p><p>Removing his hands from his face, looking at the back of them and then turning them around so that his palms were facing him. Skimming his eyes over the wet skin, Paul formed his hands into fists and a smile began to spread across his face. Adrenaline running through him as he opened and closed his fists, giggling mindlessly, while he twirled around in the shower. This feeling felt fucking amazing. God this RUSH. It was different, he had never felt so confident and on top of the world than he had been now or ever before.</p><p>So as soon as he flopped onto the bed, freshly clean, and actually willing to get dirty again, in ways. Paul had went to check the — "Get the fuck out of here." He groaned, reading 4:15 in the morning with a little whine to his voice to add emphasis on the fact that he was about to make this type of phone call in the middle of the night. It was making him feel incredibly bad how he would have to call John awake for the second time in the row, for two different reasons. However there was no other way for him to get off to anything at the moment. Paul needed it.</p><p>"Hello?" John had answered, the huskiness of his voice being fucking <em>perfect</em>. Paul's eyes fluttered at the sound of his boyfriend's voice, his chest growing heavy right along with his breathing and his fingers twitching against the sheets. Oh my God what has gotten into him? Holy shit. This was something that was becoming overwhelming but the yearning was gradually building for him to equip to the next level of his.. <em>journey</em>. "What is it baby?"</p><p>"Talk to me?" Paul breathed, hand dipping into his underwear, brushing not-all-the-way against his semi hardened cock. "Please."</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"Just talk. I want to hear you."</p><p>John blinked, registering the neediness in his boyfriend's voice before quickly springing up in his bed. And elsewhere. "Uh.. yeah, yeah right. Fuck. Um, holy shit. Are you okay?" He had sleepily chuckled, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before bringing it under the covers, and into his own briefs. Well this was not exactly what he had expected around four in the morning, but it's not like he really minded. Anything to keep Paul satisfied.</p><p>Paul had only whined in response, voice hitching lightly, and his fingers began wrapping around the base of his dick to jerk it upwards, thumbing at the wetted tip of his cock. "Shit," He moaned out in a trembling voice, even when John hadn't did anything more than curse under his breath from the brilliant sounds Paul was making.</p><p>So without anymore questions asked, John began talking. Working himself as well as he managed to gargle out some sleepy nonsensical praises that made Paul arch his back off of the bed, his trembling legs rising up to bend at the knees and the phone being dropped to the side of his head. The hand that was holding his phone now covering his mouth to keep the embarrassingly obscene noises down, his eyes closing tightly, hips bucking down against the bed whilst his hands had massaged eagerly at his straining cock. John on the other hand was wondering what made Paul so horny in the middle of the night, and he was also thrilled from how straightforward this was. Having phone sex. At four am.</p><p>Around several minutes had passed by when Paul let out an exquisite trembling moan, his hands coming away from his mouth, now clasping at the bedsheets to pull it as he twisted and withered. John was so close he was shaking, but he had paused his own ministrations to listen in closely as his boyfriend unfolded onto the bed, being ruthlessly peeled apart from a uniquely strong orgasm that permeated his very being. Paul had panted uncontrollably before he finally withdrew a mewl, brokenly whimpering: "John, fuck." The sound being quiet and wet with paramount pleasure as he spilled into his hand, staining his underwear, trembling fingers still bristling over the painfully sensitive tip of his leaking cock as his cum fountained out.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>John felt like a dog. Never had he ever thought of being <em>this</em> fucking turned on at four in the morning.</p><p>"Did you cum?" Paul had asked after a couple of seconds, holding the phone loosely in his hand again, his voice still breathless and trembling. John imagined how flustered he must look, his chest heaving up and down, legs shaking and gloriously spread out for him. The fact that he was doing this at his aunt's made it even more suffocatingly erotic for John to keep up with.</p><p>"No. It's fine though, baby. You sound worn out."</p><p>Paul's breath hitched, "N-No, let me make you cum. Please. I want to hear you cu—" He cut himself off and took in a shaking breath, pausing the movements of his index and thumb stroking the head of his cock subconsciously. "I want to hear you cum. Please? Let me - <em>please</em>."</p><p>John choked, his cock twitching, tiredness fading away but then coming back at the same time. Paul literally begging to make him cum, and lose it altogether. If only the man wasn't miles away right now, he'd fuck him so hard that he wouldn't be able to walk right. "Okay baby." John had said, it came out more as a surprised sigh and Paul keened delightfully at the permission given to him.</p><p>•••<br/>TBC.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i said this before but yeah my tumblr is judesrivers hahahsffh</p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. watcher.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ah!" John caterwauled, eyes shooting open, and his cheeks flustering at the feeling of grass bristling against his skin. What had awoken him was a small pebble thrown at him with an intent to wake him up. Michael had stood next to him, looking impatient. An empty picnic basket was clutched in his little hands from eating what George had prepared earlier for the <em>three</em> of them, and a small pout was settled onto his face whilst he eyed the auburn haired man with childlike annoyance. John looked over at him, realizing that he had fallen asleep in the middle of an outing. An important one.</p><p>"Looks like you've got him up kiddo." Came a faraway voice, drastically familiar, and it made John groan tiredly as he registered who it was. Pete fucking Best. The sounds of the grass crunching under his shoes made John's eye twitch as he sat up onto his bottom, his fingers threading through his hair while he tried to fully wake up. "You usually don't pass out after a meal, a meal especially as small as this one. Or is it from the accumalting nervousness?"</p><p>Michael shivered, "I'm nervous." He uttered, stomach twisting and throat knotting up. Pete and John glanced at him, then met each other's eyes, an understanding look nestled into their gazes. The auburn haired man had soon stood up on his feet, brushing the dirt off of his clothes and went over to Michael, knelt down onto the grass in front of the boy, and pulled him into a reassuring hug to keep him from spiraling into the pits of his nervousness.</p><p>"There's no need to be, you should be happy more than nervous. Got it?" John had asked, pulling away from the boy to smile at him, ruffling his hair after a couple of seconds. "Now, do you want to go and see your dad or do you want to go to Mimi's and pack your stuff?"</p><p>Michael blinked, his lips parting as he tried to answer the question as fast as he could so he wouldn't go through the ordeal of thinking about it. However, his mind did the opposite and contiued to race away from the outside world anyways. Pete placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, giving it a squeeze as the silence began to mount and mount on top of each other. John thought he could sit here and wait as long as possible for Michael to say what he wanted, at the same time, he wasn't the one in this situation. This would definetly be the last time Michael could ever see or hear from his father again, and it was beginning to dawn on the seven year old more and more. When John had woken him up earlier that morning, sitting down at the end of Michael's bed and talking softly to him as if yelling would send him into shock. Then being introduced to Pete Best, and an older man named Giovanni.</p><p>John, who was lost as Giovanni's presence only gaped. "Who are you?"</p><p>Pete facepalmed himself, and explained the family connections impatiently. Mimi was more so flabbergasted that John had enough ties to dilligently expose McCartney's problems, and then she was even more taken back when John had told her that Stuart had a part in this too.</p><p>A police officer came in at some point, that had asked Michael certain questions about his father, his time with his father, he was asked if Jim had ever hurt him in any type of way. Michael said no to the physical abuse, but emotional, and mental? That was something that made his emotional talk with the officer around two hours long. To be honest, he wasn't scared, more so relieved that he got everything off of his chest. Out of his concious as if it were his last dying breath.</p><p>Mimi had talked to him in a soft voice as well, telling the boy that his company at her home was so delightful. Michael assumed that she was saying goodbye, and he would be lying if he said that he didn't tear up when the woman had pulled him into a motherly embrace.</p><p>"No." Michael spoke up at some point, shaking his head. "I don't want to see him, never, ever again. Not after what he did to us. <em>All</em> of us."</p><p>John raised his eyebrows, face unmoved much to the thrill strumming throughout his body when the seven year old had spoken those brave words. "Are you sure?" He asked, looking over at Pete who had a smile of accomplishment perched on his face.</p><p>"I'm sure."</p><p>John had sighed with a small smile on his face, reaching up to pinch Michael's cheek gently, pride washing through him like a river. "Alright, let's go then chump."</p><p>---</p><p>Paul took off the dirt coated garden gloves, setting them on some type of rack that his aunt would take care of later on in the day. Next to him was Joan, knife ready to peel some fresh potatoes, preparing for some mashed potatoes in the lunch time heading into dinner. "Had fun with Jean last night? I'm glad he warmed up to you." She softly said, before humming afterwards while Paul had just bit down on his bottom lip awkwardly. Yeah, he was definetly feeling back to normal, kind of jumpy and he wasn't even anxious about anything. To be honest, he had no idea that there was a certain aftermath to smoking weed for the first time and it would have been nice if he was told that there would be. What was eating him up was the sense that he'd become a hypocrite, and it was just chomping mindlessly at the back of his neck like a termite chomps on wood.</p><p>"Mhm." He replied, sniffing and tapping his fingers against the top of the counter while he leaned his side against it. "It was nice."</p><p>Putting the peeled potato down in a bowl, Joan had then turned to Paul and tilted her head to the side curiously which made the boy shift around a bit, fidgeting. "Jean told me that you had a breakdown in the parking lot of a pizza place, or was it in the back?" She questioned, nothing menacing or demeaning about it, it was queried with genuine concern. Basically asking 'what happened?' without actually asking what happened.</p><p>Paul looked down and having subconciously press the tip of his index finger down against the narrow edge of the counter, not too hard for him to hurt himself. "Yeah, that happened. It's not a big deal though. Just went through some things, and I felt some things too."</p><p>"Jean has two bruised ribs and a sprained wrist."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Stomach churning, the skin of his finger tip breaking as the edge of the counter penetrated it even more since Paul had forced another harsh press, the raven haired man had cleared his throat and tore his gaze away from the floor to meet his aunt's eyes. "I'm so sorry. Is he -" <em>Don't fucking ask if he's okay you stupid bitch.</em> "Is he okay?" <em>Fuck</em>. Paul was bleeding, blood trickling down his finger as his face became flushed with red from the amount of embrassment, guilt, hypocriteness, and shame that had rushed through his frame. God, what had he done? Why had he done it? Last night felt like such a fever dream, along with a rush of relief that he let his concious clear. Then he's feeling like shit all over again, but for several different reasons.</p><p>He put his hands on his cousin, and then he smoked weed after telling John off about him selling drugs, then it goes back to how he put his hands on his cousin.</p><p>"Jean is fine, he's resting now." Joan smiled, despite the chaotic thoughts running wild in Paul's head. "He had also told me that he's proud of you."</p><p>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck - Paul blinked, the sweat that was prodding at the top of his head somehow cueing a cold sweep to swarm over his anxiously hot body. "What? How? I- what?" Confused, and dazed from the impending self destruction, Paul had sweeped his eyes over his aunt's face to see if she was just saying this because she noticed how close Paul was to blacking out.</p><p>"Jean said he's proud of you for getting all your emotions out. I agree, I am proud too. There's no reason for you to be upset at yourself for lashing out, you had a wound and you were rubbing alcohol on it. When you rub alcohol on a wound, it stings at first, right?"</p><p>Paul had quieted, nodding his head and removing his finger away from the counter edge.</p><p>Joan had smiled at him, reaching over to caress his cheek gently. "Then as time goes on, it slowly heals and patches itself up. The wound will always be there though. It's the matter of you pushing on with it, having that scar convey that you are a survivor of what you've been put through." She had continued, taking a step closer to him, eyes twinkling and motherly which had sent spikes of warmth through Paul's bleeding heart. "I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you Paul. We <em>all</em> are, including Mary."</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Paul had released a shaking breath, and then abruptly wrapped his arms around Joan, hugging her tightly while he buried his face into the crook of her neck. Surprised, but willing, Joan had thrown her arms around him too and cooed softly at him, running her hands through his hair as she began to rock then side to side. "Mm. You and your mother always give such nice hugs." She had chuckled under her breath, eyes glistening with tears of her own while the boy had just silently squeezed her. "Ahh, I'm so proud of you." Joan had said again, repeating it as they continued to hug for another minute, her voice cracking each and every time. The words were beginning to morph into 'I wish I was there for you' and 'I'm so sorry he did that to you' all of the crying in between too.</p><p>Paul had soon pulled away, a soft smile on his face as he ushered her tears away with his good hand and leant in to kiss her cheek. "I'm going to be okay auntie, I let all of that go. He's not going to hurt me or my brother anymore, I'm sure of it." He gently said, actually believing those words that came out of his mouth for once. "Michael's going to be living with me. <em>Permanently</em> for now on, and Jim won't be intervening at all." And that statement right there had sent a rush through Paul, the confidence, the sudden fierce dominance that had surged through him last night coming back in full force. "I'm going to make sure of that."</p><p>Joan's heart had fluttered, her hands clasping together in excitement, and a beautiful smile of joy came across her face. "Oh James, look at you."</p><p>Paul's face had then softened, a chilling feeling of tranquil settling inside of him. "Thank you for letting me come here auntie. Before I took in Michael, I felt as if I needed to find myself first. To make sure, that I really can do this."</p><p>Joan placed her hand on her chest, one hand on her mouth as she teared up again, the feeling of happiness overhwelming her. All she could do at the second is nod, and smile even though it was hidden by her hand. Then meekly, she questioned. "Is this goodbye?"</p><p>A bit caught off guard, Paul had then mentally counted the days he spent here, it was a mere three days. Then again, he wasn't so sure where the progress with Michael had been at back at home. It wouldn't be so bad to return tomorrow. "I'll leave tomorrow night, how about today, I can spend some time with Jean and nurse him a bit. You could come up to his room with food, then we can watch a movie together." He said smiling reassuringly, Joan was feeling delighted, nodding eagerly at the idea of doing so.</p><p>"Also," Paul had nonchalantly held up his bleeding hand, and Joan's eyes had widened immediately. "Can you wrap my finger?"</p><p>••</p><p>Walking into his bedroom, John had bit anxiously at the inside of his cheek, and looked around the room for a bit. Fuck, he was going to leave soon. Whenever Paul was going to come back, which wasn't long, he'd eventually have to tell Mimi that he was going to move out of the house. It's even worse that he may have to move out on his birthday, and fuck - that was just going to hit harder. It was an unspoken rule for John to not be in the house over forty-eight hours, or to a certain point where Mimi had to call him back over here. This was going to be a big step in his and Paul's relationship, as well as a big step in his life alone. To be leaving the safety of his aunt's home for a long time, probably forever. John hoped that him and Paul would still be striving forever, there was not a reason why they shouldn't be.</p><p>Heading out of his room, John had grasped at his phone and opened up the messaging app, yawning tiredly as he texted his boyfriend. Fuck he was so sleepy, thanks to Paul calling him up around three to four in the morning for two different reasons, the second one being outrageous. It had him up late wondering why the hell Paul was so horny, and it gotten to him thinking controversial thoughts that had no rights to be debuting into his brain. At the same time, he should just ask him what the hell that was about anyways, it wasn't like Paul was giving him regular updates about his time over there or anything. then again, John may be just feeling stupid and simply overthinking things.</p><p>Ah it wouldn't hurt to just check.</p><p>'hey..what got you so riled up last night?'</p><p>Kind of an awkward confrontation, but it wasn't his fault. John was too tired to even manage coherent thoughts last night, other than random words that are synonyms with sexual activities. It was always worth it making Paul make such dirty fucking sounds like that, but still, what even happened for him to get like that? Paul didn't seem like one to immediately demand having any sex, John would be the one to act on his desires and Paul would just submit. So what the hell?</p><p>'what..'</p><p>John's mouth had literally dropped open, eyebrows furrowing and his eyes narrowing. Leaning his side against the wall, he typed his response down hurriedly, should've taken the chance of using tone indicators before sending the message.</p><p>'paul you called me at like 4 in the morning, begging for me to talk to you while you masturbated. do you not remember that??'</p><p>The question came out interrogative, but that's how he's feeling at the moment. A bit conflicted with insecurities and being tired at the same time. Plus the fact that Paul wanted to act like he didn't graphically describe how he was going to let John cum in his mouth when he gets back, and how he was going to let the older fuck him until all Paul could do was twitch, drool and make noises while he was getting ruined. Going as far as telling John that he wants to be leaking with his cum, and that he wants John to fucking <em>record</em> it dripping out of him. Also acting like he did not cum another two or three times, by fingering himself, while both of them shared the most pornographic words back and forth until their speeches became incoherent from the rushes of pleasure, orgasming simultenously. </p><p>'OOOOOOH LMAOO im sorry baby, its been a long forty-eight hours'</p><p>John had let out a breathless chuckle, Paul was such a character, so unpredictable at times. It was so cute. However, before John could even compliment that, he wants to desperately know why and how Paul was so horny to a point he had both of them on the phone touching themselves until their arms cramped up. Good for him though, Paul was cooperative and had begun typing out an explanation immediately after sending the last text. </p><p>'i had a revelation. i'll tell you all about it when i get home tomorrow night, okay? i miss u sooooo much.'</p><p>Home? Tomorrow? Paul's coming back tomorrow? John felt fucking elated. Excited in all kinds of ways, including lustful, but that was a close runnerup when it came to the joyful excitement that made his cheeks flush a crimson red. God, he gets to see Paul again, after four days if you include tomorrow, which didn't seem that long but John was fucking too impatient. </p><p>'i miss you more. i'll pick you up at the airport'</p><p>'okayyy &lt;3'</p><p>"Michael! Paul's coming back tomorrow night!" John had yelled, smiling when he got an excited boyish shriek to come from the other room as if someone had sunk in a gamewinner. God, just from the few exchange of text messages and the actual feeling of reassurance along with <em>something else,</em> John couldnt be more excited to see his younger boyfriend. He missed that pretty face, inviting lips, and innocent looking eyes with the not so much innocent mindset when it came to the smutty things lingering in the back of John's head. That lithe body, including the minusucle grippable waist that John loved squeezing and digging his fingers into to see a reaction elicit from Paul, wanting to see the way his eyes would flutter and how his cheeks would tint red, his slender fingers closing around the older's wrist to grip weakly at him.  Then he'd murmur something adorable, but in a inviting tone like: "You perve." Ugh, John needs to stop before his thoughts take a sharper turn. </p><p>Too late, John already wants to bite the inside of Paul's bare thigh. </p><p>"Hey John?" </p><p>Oh no, fucking kids. </p><p>John had whirled his neck around, his face flustered. "Yes Mikey?"</p><p>"So, I'm moving into Paul's today?" He asked innocently, tilting his head as he held one of his bags in his little arms. "So I'll see him tomorrow night? What if I'm sleeping?"</p><p>John nodded his head at the first question, and then he twisted his lips to the side at the second question. "Paul's going to spend the night here, with me and then in the morning he'll go back to  the house, you'll be awake to see him."</p><p>"Ooh, okay." Michael had cooed while nodding, trekking out of the room with no more questions to be asked.</p><p>- TBC.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0045"><h2>45. adaptation.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>excuse the errors :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Bye Mimi." Michael had said, pulling away from a two minute hug that him and the woman had once he made it to their doorstep. "I'll still visit you. So don't worry." He promised, smiling up at her while Mimi had just ruffled his hair. The aunt had just quietly nodded, feeling a little down that the boy was now departing, in a way Paul had kept his word that Michael would not be staying here for long. If it were before then Mimi would have been exceptionally angered at what Paul and John were doing with trying to take Michael away. Fortunately, Mimi had seen the light in the dark tunnel and decided to not intervene with this movement.</p><p>George had pulled up to the house, soft music playing as he got out of the car and closed the door before going over towards the back to open the trunk. Richard had sprung out of the passenger seat, waving his hands in the air and shouting adorably: "Hi Michael! Hi Mimi!"</p><p>"Hi Ringo!" Michael had called out, turning around and grasping at his bags that were set aside, he gestured for Mimi to lean down in which she did. "Thank you a lot Mimi." He said before kindly kissing her cheek which made the older woman a little surprised by the affectionate action, before she could even make up any response to that - the boy was already excitedly running over towards the car giggling. George had greeted Michael with a hug, yanking him upwards and spinning around with him while the kid laughed, clutching onto his bags so it would not have to fall out of his hands. As much as he loved Mimi, Michael felt as if he could cry when the realization hit him that he was going to be staying with Paul. Right as he placed his bags into the trunk, he felt his throat knot up, and his cheeks flush while his eyes had watered with joy along with something else.</p><p>"Where's John?" Ringo had asked, settling himself back into the car, his head being the only part of him that had stuck out.</p><p>"Said he's staying here over night since Paul comes back today. I think tomorrow he's coming." George answered, closing the trunk and taking Michael's hand in his. "So it's just going to be us three for now, what do you want to do Michael? Today is all about you, okay?" He asked, looking down at the seven year old only to find the boy on the edge of crying, so of course his expresssion had molded into something that was related to concern. "Hey, what's wrong kiddo?"</p><p>Michael sniffled, and giggled through his tears as he brung his other hand up to wipe at his big teary eyes. "It's - I'm just really happy."</p><p>Mimi had hung by the doorway, her hand holding onto the door to close it when the men had departed. Right now she just stood there watching the three of them fondly before jumping a bit when the door had opened more without any of her intentions, soon enough she realized that it was John pushing the door opened so that he could stand next to her. "Mimi, I'm really proud of you." He had said, leaning against the doorway and eyeing as his aunt scoffed overdramatically, crossing her arms over her chest as she bumped her side against him. "No, I'm serious. You really made me happy with this one. I never felt so at peace than I am right now."</p><p>Mimi had gently smiled, closing her eyes while the sounds of the car doors closing had transpired which signaled that the boys were leaving. "I am just glad that I'm doing the right thing John. There was just so many misunderstandings in the beginning, everything seems so clear now." She had said, leaning against her nephew when John had slung an arm around her shoulder to give her a gentle hug.</p><p>"Misunderstandings could be the doom of us all one day, you get told one thing, and then other shit is happening and you don't even know why it's happening." John had sighed, eyebrows furrowing. "Or is that a misconception?"</p><p>"Eh, probably both."</p><p>--</p><p>"Hey kid." Stuart greeted, entering John's room with his hands in his jacket pocket. The presence of his best friend was a bit surprising since John hadn't been in contact with him for awhile, so it wasn't out of this world when the younger had jumped off of his desk chair and locked Stuart up in a tight hug. "Woah," Stuart breathed, flustering a bit as he hugged John back. "Did you miss me or something? Haven't been gone that long."</p><p>"I did, stupid. You were gone for days, what do you mean?" John had questioned, voice high pitched and his facial expression twisted into something that was close to being offended. Stuart had laughed softly at the facial expression, squeezing at the younger's cheeks only to get his hand playfully slapped away. There was a few seconds when Stuart had looked around the room with investigating eyes, already noticing that something was missing.</p><p>"Where's your rude ass boyfriend?"</p><p>John smacked his shoulder, rolling his eyes. "He's not rude. Paul is just -"</p><p>"John he'd insult me so many times, you know, some of them actually were funny but still. Then he tried to wrestle me when he had the flu and I was just trying to give him some medicine before he died." Stuart had flailed his hands around, being animated which made John incredously amused. "God, he's like a little cute, adorable dog that loves to bite and bark."</p><p>"I guess so. He's more of a cat to me, all cuddly and independent whenever he wants to be." John had shrugged, and Stuart just made a face of playful disgust. "Anyway, he went to go and see his aunt for the last couple of days. Paul's coming back later tonight though."</p><p>Stuart nodded his head and hummed something softly under his breath, walking over towards the bed and sitting down on it, springing up and down from the force of that plop. "Is there any progress with Michael so far? I hope Pete isn't slacking because I can find someone else to do it."</p><p>John laughed, his face glowing with happiness of some sort. "Everything is going well. It's practically settled at this point, I just wonder what's going to happen to Jim." He said, and it was the truth. No one but Pete had any idea what was going to unfold with the elder McCartney, and to be honest, it was kind of exciting to wonder about the things that were about to transpire throughout the process. One thing John had known for sure is that Jim may be arrested, and if it were too late for the counts of child abuse on him, then it was definetly going to be for something else that involved finances.</p><p>"Great." Stuart had cheesed, tilting his head to the side as he slouched back onto his elbows, pride rushing through him. "Your mans is about to be high off of this for weeks I bet."</p><p>John had smiled and sighed dreamily, so ready to see the pretty smile that would come across Paul's face when the realization dawned on him. "Thank you for helping him out Stuart. Thank you for helping <em>us</em> out. At first I thought I was making an empty promise, and fuck — you really helped me out. In a lot of ways Stu, some ways that I shouldn't of taken and in ways that makes it seem like thanking you is an understatement." He explained, all of these words making Stuart's heart warm and his cheeks tint in a reddened blush of gratitude, being flattered beyond all limits. John being soft around him always made him feel mushy on the inside.</p><p>Stuart had only chewed on his bottom lip, looking away and shrugging his shoulders bashfully. "You're my best friend John, it'd be wrong for me not to chime in at some point." He murmured, making John smile even wider looking genuinely happy with everything at the moment, it seemed as if things were going so right. It'd be a bummer if something just suddenly went wrong.</p><p>Stuart scratched his nose, still blushing. "But anyways, um - I came to tell you why I was gone for the last couple of days."</p><p>"Go on."</p><p>"Okay, so.. you know Shotton right? Same name as Pete Best, but last name is Shotton. Unorignal fucks." Stuart muttered the last part and then licked his lips, flicking his eyes up to the ceiling as if he was brainstorming his next words, soon enough he followed up with a low sounding. "We're going out? Not like officially, but he's checked into rehab. That man would finess drugs from me like it was nothing, and I'd fall for it every time."</p><p>John raised his eyebrows and shook his head at nothing in particular, but he tended to not say anything verbally until Stuart was done explaining.</p><p>"The point is, we have chemistry. Second point is, I quit the drug dealing for him, for us." Stuart looked down onto his lap, twiddling his fingers for a bit while he tried to search for the words to explain himself even more. "We have enough money to hold onto, so it won't be a problem for now. I'm just - I want to start off on something new. Doing shit like that is dangerous and I want to be there for Pete. You know?"</p><p>"Mhm." John had a genuine closed lip smile, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>"Took me a few days to think about what I'm doing. So I spent some time alone. Plus I had to get rid of all the other shit. I think I flushed it all down, or burned them. Pretty sure they're all gone though, the drugs I mean."</p><p>John has finally parted his lips in response, "Sounds like you went through a journey. I'm glad you stopped that stuff. I mean it's a way to get money, but it's also really dangerous."</p><p>"I've been doing it for two and a half years too." Stuart had said, sitting up on his bottom again and making a face. "Life is weird. It's kind of fun, but weird. At first you're doing something that you don't mind, and then one person comes in, changes the whole outcome of that."</p><p>"I can't believe you're going out with Shotton." John had randomly said, breaking the seriousness of Stuart's words with his own comedic ones that were flooded with disbelief. "Like seriously, who knew that you were into light haired blondes Stu. That's just out of this world."</p><p>Stuart's eyes widened and his cheeks had flushed, "What? I said it's not official dumbass. Also, you're one to talk!" He exclaimed, pointing his finger at John who was making his way towards the closet with a smirk on his face that subsituted for the smile he had on all day. "Who knew that you were into guy's that likes to bite people."</p><p>John took the vinyl that Paul had bought him out of the top shelf of his closet, pausing at the words that just came out of his friend's mouth and then sputtering out a laugh afterwards. "Paul bit you? What did you do to him?"</p><p>"He didn't bite me, but it looks like he will one day." Stuart had grumbled, watching as John set the vinyl down on his dresser before bringing up a different subject again. "Oh yeah, Don died. The man had OD'd last week and then suffered a heart attack the other day, this kid named Ricky told me that and I was like oh shit because he was a high paying customer, remember?"</p><p>"Yikes." John said, not feeling any remorse whilst he dug around for some Elvis records. "See what happens when you start groping people?" He had questioned a few seconds afterwards, it was rhetorical even though there was a hidden desire for an answer behind it, he resumed pulling out a classic Elvis record, observing it to make sure everything was looking nourished before he could set it down.</p><p>Stuart didn't know whether to laugh or continue to awkwardly sit in silence, so he decided to do both as he moved onto the next subject. "So what are you going to do when Michael leaves? It'll just be you and Mimi wasting away here again." He backhandedly asked, but John didn't pay any mind to it since it was Stuart, and since that was the way he talked. "Do you think you'll be able to take in another child? What if this time it's someone's sister and you'd have to go through this all over again. Wait! This should turn into some type of lifetime movie."</p><p>John laughed aloud, "Slow down. First and foremost, I'm moving out to go and live with Paul. Secondly, I doubt Mimi is going to take in a child, we won't be so down bad in finance issues to a point where we'd take in a child for money anymore." He explained, placing the record onto the vinyl carefully as he continued. "Paul told me without any arguments that he'd be taking control of all of that for now on. Whatever happens with Jim, everything goes to Paul anyways."</p><p>Stuart's eyes lit up. "So basically, you guys are set stone then. Paul's like stinking rich, right?"</p><p>"Yup, yup. It's still kind of <em>ugh</em> to me but I'm not going to argue against him. It's one of things we talked about when we were starting over again, after he found out about.. you know."</p><p>"Oh. Yeah, I get it. That's good though." Stuart had smiled a little bit, feeling incredibly good that everything was going great for the two younger men. "I'm glad everything is going good for you two after all of that shit that went down. I thought he was going to bite you, honestly."</p><p>With Elvis now softly playing, John turned to Stuart with a deadpanned facial expression. "What is it with you and thinking Paul bites people?"</p><p>••</p><p>2 in the morning was when Paul got off of the plane, tired and hungry as he walked behind a couple in front of him to get to the luggage area. Removing the hood off of his head, and then rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he sighed mumbling: "I'm never taking one am flight again." What had really pissed him off is how the traffic made him have to rearrange everything last minute. The annoyance turned into tiredness, and then a bit of fear when turbulence decided to kick his ass, along with some stubborn six year old kicking the back of his seat to the point where he aggressively slammed his back against it at the same time as the foot hit the back of his seat. It all ended with the child crying about their leg being knocked backwards, and Paul suffering from a headache.  </p><p>Eventually he grasped at his suitcase once it was in his sight, and dragged it on its wheels while he headed for the main entrance door. Some people seemed to be spending the night in here, looking as if they prepared for a flight and had been waiting to leave for hours. Paul felt kind of bad for them, and if it weren't for the exhaustion flooding his system, he'd offer them some money to go and get some food. Outside seemed comfortably cold, not too cold like when he had first came here to go to Ireland. Earlier he texted John that he'd be waiting outside for him, and he could only hope that his boyfriend had already been on his way to the airport. </p><p>Strolling around for a bit, Paul had began to sing a song that was on loop on the radio softly under his breath, kicking the heel of his shoes against the pavement as he walked around. It was colder in Ireland than it had been back in England. Maybe not colder, but more grey and rainier. Before getting on the plane, Paul assumed that it was a sunny day in England with blue skies, but he also could be wrong. Continuing to wait for John, Paul had wondered where that Mark person was, and then he wondered how Mark was doing with his stupid fucking charger. Then he thought about Mark's girlfriend. How in the hell did Mark score so good to get her even though he was thought to have been a prick by Paul? These were the questions running rampid in the man's head.</p><p>Doubletaking the car that pulled up to the curve, Paul narrowed his eyes at it only for the same couple that was taking years to walk towards the luggage to rush towards it, greeting some type of relative of theirs. Paul watched them for a little bit before going back to walking around the front of the aiport building, continuing to sing while the noises of greeting ranged in the background. After a couple of more minutes, a car playing no one other than Elvis had pulled up behind the car that the couple was still greeting thier relative at. Paul stared at it questioningly, wanting to make sure that it was officially John before letting a tired smile form onto his face once he heard a door close. </p><p>"There he is, come here baby!" John had shouted rushing to the front of the car with his arms opened for a hug, the booming sound of his voice rattling the other folks. Paul was so fucking in love. He dropped his suitcase and rushed over towards John, full fucking sprint as he basically bunny hopped off of one foot and launched his whole body into John's arms once he was in a close proximity. John had let out a crushed laugh, the wind being knocked out of him from the quickness of the embrace but he responded to it quickly, throwing his arms around the younger's waist as they hugged onto each other tightly. "Fuck, Paul, I missed you so much baby." He sighed at peace into his ear, while Paul had just buried his face into the older's shirt as he gripped possessively onto John for a long minute. </p><p>"I missed you too. Why do you smell so good?" Paul questioned, his voice muffled, and shaking with laughter as John began to laugh at the random question too.</p><p>"You smell like cinnamon." John had replied, his cheeks blushing when Paul had finally pulled away to look up at him. Fuck, and just like that, John's breath was taken away as he was reminded of how fucking <em>gorgeous</em> Paul is up close like this. The lights of the airport and the street making his features debut patently, long lashes, kissable lips, beautiful eyes. "God you look so good in this light."</p><p>"I know baby." Paul confidently replied, making John want to drop on his knees and kiss at his feet, begging for forgiveness for the incorrection. Hell, he'd do it either way. Though there was something John noticed with Paul right now, something entirely different, and then he remembered when Paul had told him about the 'revelation' which caused his mind to expand within seconds. "C'mon Johnny, let's go home. I'm tired as hell." The younger said, walking back to go and retrieve his stuff which wasn't left too far away. John had watched him move, and he felt as if he was falling in love with him all over again. </p><p>---</p><p>Paul didn't object to staying at Mimi's for tonight, any type of bed would do. Even if it were a hotel. But before going to bed, John had made Paul some food since the younger had stated he was hungry earlier on their drive home, holding hands with each other as Paul dozed off in the passenger seat until John had to gently wake him up. Placing the plate of food down in front of him, along with a cup of ice cold water, John had gently shook him awake again with an amused smile on his face. "Come on baby, eat up so we could get you to bed." </p><p>Paul blinked at the plate, staring at it until he had finally realized that it was food. Quickly digging in, he stuffed his mouth hungrily, remembering the thing he ate was mashed potatoes and meatloaf which was his first meal in a long span of days in itself. John had got on his phone in the meantime and texted George that Paul was back even though the man was likely asleep, it was news to wake up to in the morning though so it didn't matter. Paul chewed and watched as John texted, letting his eyes linger on the man, sparkling with affection before glancing back down at his plate to see that it was already empty, relying on a few scrapes to get the last bit of food into his untencil. John sent the text before putting his phone down, glancing at the plate then up at his boyfriend with an amused glint in his eyes. "Want some more?"</p><p>Paul blinked innocently, actually thinking over it for a bit before shaking his head, swallowing down the food and exhaling. "No, I'm okay." He replied, reaching over to the cup and gulping down the water eagerly with both hands holding the cup as if he were a child. </p><p>John hummed, "We've got a lot of things to talk about." He said, holding his head up with his hand as he leant against the table. "You should go first though because you are actually glowing right now, and I want to know what happened over there."</p><p>Paul placed the empty cup down, wiping his mouth while he began to stare at the cup. "Okay so don't get mad." Was the first words that came out of his mouth, and then there happened to be a blush that coated his face while he continued in a hesitant voice. "Me and my cousin s-.. we smoked? Like he had a stash of weed and we just went on a drive to smoke. I know it's hypocritical, and you might get mad at me for that, but-"</p><p>"I'm not mad." </p><p>Paul had gaped, mouth dropping as he tried to formulate a coherent sentence. "But I- marijuana is a drug! I did a drug, and I was mad at you for selling drugs. So it's like why would I be mad at you if I'm going to turn around and do it." He explained, flapping his hands around while John had just giggled briefly under his breath at the younger's naive cuteness. </p><p>"Paul, what I did was lie to you and sell drugs behind your back while continously lying to your face." John had told him, a pang of guilt hitting him when Paul began to look a tiny bit uncomfortable at the remembrance of how bad John had hurt him. "All you did was smoke weed with your cousin, not sell weed. Plus, it's legalized in some areas so it really isn't a taboo. Plus you told me the truth." </p><p>"Oh." Paul blinked, "I think the weed unlocked something in me because I began talking to Jean about how my dad used to beat me. Then the realization of me having to suffer the long-term effects of the abuse from my father made me blackout. I realized that there's nothing I could do about it and I'd have to live with these seizures, taking medication, you know - um for the rest of my life." He got quiet, remembering how helpless if he felt in the heat of the moment, the intense rage of how he was forced to live like this for possibly the rest of his life had possessed him. There was a hint of it in the hospital when he fell into a seizure for the first time in front of John back in the beginning, but he shut it out. In fear that it would change him into a monster. </p><p>It did for a brief second, he wanted to kill his cousin for example and the fact that Jean suffered from two brusied ribs in the aftermath of trying to calm him down made it <em>extremely</em> clear that Paul could have really sprialed out of control.  </p><p>Jumping a bit when John's hand had grasped onto his, and then cursing himself for being jumpy again, Paul had looked into the warm eyes of his boyfriend. "I am not in your shoes, and I don't know what it's like to live with epilepsy from childhood trauma, so I'm not going to say that I understand. However, I hope you know, that I love you and I'm proud of you baby."</p><p>It was one thing hearing it from his aunt, but it was another thing hearing it from the love of his life. Paul didn't bite back the tears forming his eyes at all, it hadn't been from sadness this time, but from relief that he found someone like John to be his savior. His fucking soulmate. When John had seen Paul crying he had stood up off of his chair, tugging Paul's hand to make the younger stand up too. "Come here baby." He softly ordered, Paul took a closer step towards him, shivering when John's hand had gently met his cheek, stroking his soft skin with his thumb causing Paul to sniff a little bit since he being pushed to the edge even more from the affectionate touches. "I love you so much." John uttered softly, fluttering his eyes closed and tilting the boy's face up, leaning in to kiss sweetly at his lips which had sent spikes of warmth to circuit throughout the younger's body.</p><p>Fuck, John's kisses were something that he forgot about throughout his time away. Even if it's only been three days, it felt like forever. Paul's eyes had fell closed after a second, trying to capture himself from making his knees buckle when John continued to caress his cheek as their lips moved together softly. Placing his hands on the older's chest, scrunching his shirt up in the loose grip of his fists, he had tilted his head gently so that he could fully slot himself into the kiss, eliciting the sofest moan when John's warm hand had came to contact with the sensitive skin of his neck, thumb brushing his pulse point. Pulling away, and leaning in to kiss the tears off of Paul's cheeks, his lips making a resting stop at the younger's forehead which caused a breathy giggle to come from Paul, John had sighed in tranquil against his skin. </p><p>"It's late."</p><p>"I know." Paul had softly yawned, resting his blushing cheek against the older's chest whilst wrapping his arms around him at the same time. "Are you going to sleep with me or are you going to stay up?" He asked, genuinely wondering what John was going to do once he had slept.</p><p>"Why does it matter?" John had questioned, his hands rubbing the small of Paul's back, just taking in the physical feeling of Paul's clothed body underneath his hands. </p><p>"Because if you stay awake, I want to too."</p><p>"I'm going to bed baby, I want you to get some sleep." John had finally said after a couple of seconds, while Paul had distractedly ran the tips of his fingers all around John's upper back. </p><p>"Take me into your bedroom on your back." Paul had pouted, pulling away to look up into John's face. "My legs are too tired to move on their own." </p><p>"I broke my back." </p><p>"That's not going to work on me." Paul had scowled and plucked at his shoulder, then when he got no response from John other then a mean stare he began to whine. "C'mon let me get on your back, I'm too tired to walk. Please?"</p><p>"Fine. I spoil you too much." John rolled his eyes, and heaved down a bit as Paul had walked behind him, purposely running his fingers across the side of John's body which made the older mumble something explicit under his breath. Paul either heard it and decided not to clap back, or he didn't hear it all, either way he had settled himself onto John's backside soon enough. The older had then lifted him up, enjoying the soft squeak that came out of Paul's lips, along with a tired giggle of John's name that made the older blush crimson. Heading upstairs into the bedroom Paul securely straddled onto his backside, light enough for John to do a full cartwheel with Paul hoisted onto his back. </p><p>As John was walking, Paul fell asleep on his back, his cheek resting against the man's shoulder which was broad enough for him to fully knock out. The sound of Paul's soft breathing made John smile softly, his love blooming so hard he was becoming overwhelmed. Fuck, Paul was so adorable, and John was a victim to whatever Paul wanted from him. Vice versa. John felt even more excited that Paul was likely to wake up to a surprise from John in the morning, the older making him breakfast in bed before telling him that Michael is in his custody now. He couldn't wait to tell him, to see the look on Paul's face when the news is told.</p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. oranges.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>just straight filth<br/>this is part 1 of another chapter btw :]<br/>excuse the errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paul was awoken to an enticing aroma, something that had smelt so good it made him briefly conclude that he had died in his sleep and ended up in food heaven. Then there came a gentle voice, one so sweet and affectionate that it made his heart burst. "Wake up baby, I got breakfast. Eat it while it's hot. I made everything myself even though I'm not the finest cook like George or anything." The auburn haired angel had said, looking beautiful in the young sunlight, his hair looking as if he rolled around in bed repeatedly and the gorgeous haze of sleep still presenting itself on John's face. Paul stared at him for a couple of seconds, thinking John himself was the breakfast at first until the small clink of dishes captured his attention. Setting a breakfast tray right down next to Paul, John had then scooted back while the younger man sat up groggily. </p><p>"If you don't like it, I can just make you some cereal." John had looked shy, composed, more softer this morning than Paul could ever remember him being. There was nothing wrong about it either. If anything, it made Paul blush and smile a little bit as he brushed his fingers against the breakfast tray, his still sleepy eyes observing the fresh food placed dilligently on the tray. </p><p>"Hashbrowns." Paul softly muttered, remembering this is what he ate on their first date, smiling at the memory he began picking the piece of food up and settling it into his mouth as he took a bite down on it. The flavor took no time washing over his tastebuds, making him settle his eyes close and sigh in satisfaction from the well cooked food. John flustered from the sight, before scrambling off of the bed to make his way towards the vinyl that still sat on his dresser, taking out the record that was already on it to go and find something else. Frank Sinatra for one. Paul had slowly opened his eyes, watching as John tripped around and rushed about as if he was going to get yelled at for not moving fast enough. </p><p>John was so cute. </p><p>Putting on 'How Deep is the Ocean' including other tunes by Frank Sinatra, setting the tone for the morning, John had then turned back to Paul, his heart warming at the sight of the younger digging into the waffles (that took John two hours to perfect with the help of Mimi who was on her way out to do some grocery shopping). Paul who still looked presumably tired, had also looked so adorable to John and it took all of the older's might not to attack with him kisses. "When do you want to go home? There's no rush by the way." He said, walking back towards the bed and kneeling down at the end of it while Paul chewed slowly on the piece of waffle in his mouth. </p><p>"I'll tell you when." Paul had said after swallowing the waffle down, licking the sweet syrup off his lips. "Want to stay with only you for a little bit." </p><p>John raised his eyebrows, feeling flattered. "Just me? Wow." He fake cried, wiping his eyes as if there was a tear rolling. It all caused a pillow to launch towards his face along with an adorable mouthful of 'shut up' that came from his boyfriend. John had softly laughed, taking the pillow and settling it under his chin, resting his head on it whilst he stared fondly at the other man while he ate some more. "Is it all good?"</p><p>"Mhm." Paul had nodded, setting the tray down onto the floor, heaving the bowl of grapes off of it first. "Come here, I want to feed you some." He said, calling John over gently and the older couldn't equip the strength to argue. Crawling up onto the bed, the older watched as Paul shifted his spread legs from under the covers, curving one leg up to the knee to make room for John. Paul had smiled lazily, plopping a grape in his own mouth as John seated himself on his knees in between the younger's legs, he allowed John's hand to feel his thighs even though it made him shudder for a bit. </p><p>"Open up." Paul had gently ordered, the smile fading into a smirk. John had snorted, opening his mouth whilst Paul had plucked a grape from the bowl, moving his hand up to the older's lips, nesting the grape into his mouth and purposely letting his fingertips brush against the soft lips as well. "Chew," He had then said, voice soft, almost whispering and it was making John's head spin like fucking hell, his cheeks flushing a deep red. John had obeyed, chewing slowly, the juices of the grape sloshing inside of his mouth, the sweetness satisfying his tastebuds graciously. Paul had sighed, his eyes twinkling as he watched his boyfriend eat, finding himself gradually becoming aroused at literally just watching him chew on a grape. </p><p>Then - "Now swallow." </p><p>John had indeed swallowed, elicting a suggestive sound when the taste had flowed down his throat. The younger's eyes followed John's tongue as he began licking his lips, and Paul could not help but to squirm a bit, biting down on his own before flickering his eyes back up at John's. "Okay, it's your turn. You feed me." He had said, and John could not help but to find it adorable how Paul was ordering him around. There was no way he was going to pass this up, it was clear enough that McCartney was the first one to get horny by something that was so subtle, John knew that the younger was turned on since his cheeks were flustered and his gaze was shiny with a sultry, unintentionally seducing darkened look. It came to his memory that one of his hands were still on Paul's leg, so like the asshole he is, he gave his thigh a squeeze while reaching for a grape. </p><p>Paul zeroed his eyes on John's hand, and then looked at the grape that was nearing his mouth. "Open baby." John had told him, smiling when Paul did not hesitate for a milisecond to part his lips open for his boyfriend. Opposing to the younger's doing, John had let his fingers linger inside of Paul's mouth once he had set the grape there, causing the man to brush his warm tognue against the rough skin of John's fingers by accident. All in all, it was erotic and it made Paul's cock twitch impatiently inside of his pants, yearning for some type of attention before the blood could depart. When John pulled his fingers out, there was a single strand of Paul's saliva that attracted both of their attention it connected them together in a way. Flickering his eyes back up at Paul's, "Chew." John suddenly ordered, his voice firm other than Paul's almost-whisper, and fuck. Paul had chewed casually on the fruit, loosening his lips so that he could let the grape juice drip down his jaw and chin, <em>wanting</em> John to do something about it. </p><p>John on the other hand was suffocating. Paul did not have the right to be <em>this</em> fatally attractive so early in the morning. "Swallow." He breathed, eyeing the way Paul's throat constricted when he had swallowed down the grape before parting his lips again to make out a breathless 'ah' which caused John's breath to hitch. "God Paul, Jesus." </p><p>Paul stared silently at him, his lips uninteionally pouting with sex written all over his gaze and John just kept on suffocating under the heart of his eyes. "Grapes are delicious, right?"</p><p>This fucking - </p><p>John growled and grapsed at both of his legs, using them to yank Paul towards him so harshly that his back had collided aggressively with the matress, Paul quickly becoming pleasantly breathless from the sudden roughness. "Oh shit, John." He gasped out, giggling almost manically afterwards as the older had immediately tugged off his underwear and bottoms. Quickly, Paul moved his hands down to the hem of his sweatshirt and yanked it off of him, throwing it to the other side of John's room. The older took his own shirt off, grasping at Paul's hands with some type of speed that the younger just could not keep up with for the life of him, God he didn't even notice that the man was tying his wrists together with his fucking shirt until Paul had the urge to drag his nails down John's chest. Marking him. Solidifying that John was his as much as he is John's. </p><p>John finished the tie, then he leant down to crash his lips against Paul's, tasting him and relishing in the sweetness that tipped off his tongue. With his eyebrows furrowed into a sexually frustrated frown, his trembling legs twitching as they raised up and onto John's waist, hooking onto the small of his back - Paul had arched his bare chest up against John's own whislt their tongues began to fuck into each other's mouths. Biting down on each other's lips, John's hand had dipped in between them, grasping at Paul's hardened cock - twisting his palm against the length causing the other's hips to buckle down against the bed, his body enclasping from the stimulation provided. </p><p>John had quickly swallowed the wet mewl that had frantically tore its way out of the younger's passed the younger's windpipes, repositioning his lips to Paul's chin and jawline to lap his tongue unashamedly at the grape juice that dripped down his skin. Twisting impatiently underneath John, Paul had gasped quietly and tried to move his hands which were tied taut above his head, his back bowing off the bed eagerly when John's mouth had trailed to his neck, the older's other hand running over his chest right over his nipples, his ribs, and stomach. Sucking savagely at Paul's neck, biting down, John hummed against the soft skin and did another twist with his wrist making sure to have Paul unconciously cry out. "Ah - baby," Paul began, panting, and withering around underneath the hot kisses, working hand. </p><p>John pulled away, sitting up with an amused demeanor while he reached over to the nightstand, opening the drawer. "A bit too early for this, isn't it?" He murmured as he grasped at the botte of lubcricant, voice condecending, and Paul just glared at him with a cute pout. </p><p>"You started it." Paul's breath hitched when he had caught sight of John observing the lube in his grip, the anticipation was fucking <em>thrilling</em>. Throwing his head back against the pillow, with a softly whispered: "Fuck." That birthed from the depths of his throat, chest heaving and his legs falling open automatically when he heard the cap pop off, Paul had closed his eyes tightly while shivering for no particular reason. John had chuckled shakily, pouring a careless amount of lube onto his fingers, not caring if it dripped from his wrist to fall gracefully upon the bed. </p><p>"Hm?" John grabbed Paul's legs, the sudden warmth of his hand searing into Paul's skin, making the younger hiccup while his cock twitched and dribbled wetly onto his stomach. "Baby, I didn't even touch you yet." The older snickered, not giving Paul the time to quip out a smart ass response since his thumb was already fucking itself inside of the younger.</p><p> Paul had jolted with a cry, his eyes fluttering opened immediately as the intrusion caught him off guard, making his legs tense and shake while heat pooled into his body. Even though it was John's thumb, it was possesing him as if John had shoved his whole cock inside of him already, it was to a point where he did not even notice the older leaning down to that exact area with determination to make Paul feel good melted into both his brain and his gaze. Lifting Paul's leg up and over his shoulder with one hand, the other pulling his thumb out of the tight heat, John replaced the finger with his own tongue which had caused the younger to literally choke on his breaths. "Shit." Paul cursed between quiet whimpers that he muffled once he had bit down into his forearm, his hips throttling as he felt the warmth of John's tongue withering inside of him, tainting his sensitive walls and causing the younger to tremble against the sheets. </p><p>John had ate him out languidly for minutes on end, making sure the younger was dripping wet with his saliva and lubricant, fucking his fingers inside of Paul teasingly. The sound of Frank Sinatra being the sync in time with the way his fingers had finally curled up into the small bump. Paul had closed his eyes tightly, groaning against the skin of his arm, desperately rolling his hips as John kneaded nonchalantly at his prostate. "No, let me hear you." John had firmly said, eyeing at Paul while the other had released the skin of his forearm from his teeth and panted breathlessly at the extraordinary feeling rising up his body. "God you're so beautiful."</p><p>Paul's face heated up at the compliment and the exposure, his body balancing on the edge more and more as the familiar tightness of pleasure was gathering from his spine, spreading along his lowerbody. "Johnny," He whined out, one of his legs giving out and sliding down the sheets, the burning slide only causing more stimulation to gather. "John, mm - gonna -" He moaned out weakly, following up with a shaking mewl as his head tilted back against the pillow again, his hands violently clawing at the sheets above him and his chest heaving gorgeously. It was all too fucking good. It felt so good and it was killing him. John removed his fingers much to the younger's disappointment and leaned his upperbody up, pulling Paul's legs up with him as he moved in between his legs. </p><p>Paul had wailed, and twisted. John shut him up with a kiss, working at the waistband of his own  pants and underwear to pull them downwards with one hand, giving some relief to his aching cock. Paul dived his tongue into the older's mouth once he found some type of opening route, suckling and fucking his tongue inside of John's mouth whilst he manuevered his hands around to a point where the shirt began to loosen around his wrist. In love with the younger's mouth, John had paused to give him some attention, their lips moving together in sync and their breaths mingling as Paul rocked his hips against the older's soft stomach. Basically ripping the shirt apart, Paul's hands grappled onto John's backside which had withdrew a soft gasp from the older when he felt the piercing pain of nails impaling his skin, drawling down his back as Paul bit down on his bottom lip. </p><p>How did he do that? John had asked comedically to himself, suddenly giving way when Paul had rolled both of them over, their lips never disconnecting. Hands gripping the boy's waist when Paul had sat up, his hands now running up and down John's chest, looking so perverted and downright angelic, John had moaned softly when the man leaned down to litter his own bitemarks across the older's collarbone, going lower and lower, a path of pink and red being left in its wake at each mark Paul would birth onto his skin. "Fuck baby." John muttered, watching as Paul ran his tongue along patches of skin before biting down viciously making the older's back archoff of the bed  a little bit from the stings. What had him on edge was how soft Paul's lips were on him, reeling him in before capturing his skin between his teeth, it made something equally possessive ring in both of their heads. </p><p>Then - </p><p>John's mouth dropped, the feeling of Paul's mouth sucking <em>tight</em> and wet around his cock was enough to have him blackout for a couple of seconds, whining, saying nonsensical things as Paul raised and dropped his mouth onto his length. "That's good." His breath hitched, brows pinching and his hips bucking which made Paul cough cutely, whining at the suddeness but continuing to suck him nontheless. "Just like that baby." John added on, moaning quietly afterwards while he reached down to comb his hands through the raven hair that was tickling his inner thighs. Paul hadn't remebered doing this before, but the responses he got in return when he'd flick his tongue against the tip of the older's cock made him gain a pace, giving John a piece of his own medcine whilst he drooled unashamedly and rocked his head up and down the thick length. </p><p>"Get me wet, that's it baby." John mumbled under his breath, parting his lips opened to let out a pleased groan as Paul hummed in response, naive to the vibrations that made John grip at the bedding with his other hand. "Oh fuck." His breath stuttered, and his stomach tightened, the piercing brown eyes meeting Paul's glowering gaze, fuck the younger looked absolutely wrecked and they haven't even gone all the way yet. Paul suckled, moving his tongue in stripes along the length of his cock as he continued to bob his head, a hand wrapped around what was left, squeezing gingerly at the base of the older's cock.</p><p>At this rate, John felt as if he was going to cum earlier than he wanted to. So with all means necessary, he had roughly pulled Paul off of his cock by the grip of his hair making the younger grow even more aroused from getting his hair pulled for some reason. Right then and there was when Paul concluded that he might have some issues surfacing with past abuse going into sexual pleasure, the thought made him snort, tongue darting out to lick at the slit of John's dick  to fuck with him. "Come up here." John breathlessly grunted, eyes flashing with something hungry and Paul would think it'd be rambunctious to refuse the order.</p><p>Paul had climbed on top of John, straddling him. John caressed his cheek, thumb prodding at Paul's wet and glistening bottom lip. "How do you want me to fuck you?"</p><p>His own cock twitching at that question, Paul lapped eagerly at the thumb, tasting himself and quivering in delight before responding. "Like this." He said, lifting himself up and grasping at John's cock, prodding it at his clenching entrance. "I want to ride you this time, please?"</p><p>"Go ahead."</p><p>Paul slowly eased John inside of him, his hole clenching and unclenching at the intrusion while he began to pant quietly, his other hand quickly grappling at John's shoulders to grip tightly onto it while he put it all in. The older bit his bottom lip, exhaling through his nose to hide how much a simple slide in was making him tremble underneath Paul, the tightness overlapping his senses while the raven haired man squirmed around on his lap. "Fuck," Paul's voice cracked, a high pitched sound leaving his lips as he squeezed all too tight around John's dick, his body jolting and tensing to a point every movement John made sent a wave of pleasure to grasp at his self control. "Feels so good." He murmured hotly, moving his hips back and forth in the tinest way as John bottomed out under him. John gripped his waist, moaning occasionally when Paul swirled his hips in a certain way, but he was really trying to get the man to loosen up.</p><p class="">Prostate stimulated, Paul's soft moans had skyrocketed gracefully, both of his hand squeezing at John's shoulders while he sped up his pace. "Oh my God," He keened, digging his nails in the older's skin while John's cock suspended deep inside of him by itself since John had partaken in thrusting his hips up to get more of these reactions out of him, Paul had been vocal before but this was just too enveloping at the moment to not get more noises out of him like this. In this position Paul felt his prostate being struck tenthfold, and it was fucking him up all over the place. He might cum untouch at this rate, his thighs were getting tired, and his stomach was tightning, John was there to fuck himself inside of the tight heat wrapped around him snuggly though.</p><p class=""> "Please, please, <em>please</em>." Paul had panted, his body jerking and his head spinning wildly as the intense sensation wracked his form. John mumbled a dark, and sexy: "Fuck." Under his breath, moving his hips in time of whenever Paul would slide down purposely on his shaft.</p><p class=""> "John, John, John." Paul chanted softly, a chill running down his spine as he bounced his ass speedily on the thick length. Tiny sounds of<em> 'ah', ah' </em>beginning to spill out of his gaping  mouth when his eyes fluttered closed, legs clenching around John's sides as he stilled up, hand twitched on the man's shoulder, cock beginning to pump out cum out without his control. </p><p class="">Right as Paul began to cum, John became controlled with something powerful enough to run his hand up Paul's chest to wrap his fingers around the younger's throat in a tight grip, squeezing as he felt the hot liquid spill onto his lower stomach. Paul was about to go fucking insane, squeaking out and trying not to get too loud even though pleasure ravaged mercilessly throughout his body, both of his hands weakly grappling at John's arm as the older gently squeezed his neck, continuing to thrust up into him despite Paul finishing already. </p><p class="">Tears of pleasure were glossing his eyes, and his lips were quivering from the adrenaline rush that was driving him crazy, John had briefly glanced down between them, seeing the liquid splattered unashamedly all over Paul's stomach and thighs. "Ss - <em>mm</em> - stop, stop, wait." He whimpered chokingly, causing John to slow his pace down to a full stop even though he was extremely close, removing his hand slowly even though Paul seemed as if he was still chasing the touch. After a few seconds, Paul had collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily as his eyes fluttered closed for a long minute. John rubbed patiently at his middle backside, smiling cheerfully to himself as Paul trembled against him, his other hand beginnning to run up the younger's thighs to feel it trembling as well. Fuck, he could tell this was never going to get old. </p><p class="">"Are you okay?"</p><p class="">Paul turned his head and kissed gently at John's neck, making a small noise when he shifted his hips a bit, the swelling cock still prodding at the spot inside of him. "Mhm." He hummed quietly, which made John pull him away to ask him again, in search for a verbal affirmative answer. </p><p class="">"Yes or no?" John had firmly asked, tracing his cheek making Paul shiver from the feather light touch.</p><p class="">"Yes." Paul said, looking into his brown eyes, his pupils were not as blown with lust but they were still wet from the stimulation. John thought he looked fucking beautiful. "Keep going," Paul breathed, leaning forward and kissing at John's lips, his tongue brushing at the inside of his mouth which made John's cock twitch inside of him. "I want to feel you cum inside of me."</p><p class="">Yeah, that was never going to get old. </p><p class="">John snaked his arms around his waist, and sat up on his knees laying the boy down on the bed, his cock still inside of him. Paul's legs were already parted opened, ready to give himself up for John to use him and fuck him full like he was toy. John was raised up on his forearms, and soon enough he was leaning down to kiss him as he thrusted inside of Paul slowly, languidly, making love to him while Paul laid there with his hands grpping at John's biceps. After all this time, the taste of today's breakfast still remained on Paul's tongue, and John fucking loved the sweetness of it. Pulling away he talked to him, "I love you." John confessed, rolling his hips and making Paul elicit a gorgeously soft moan, tensing up and clenching around John as his flaccid cock twitched with some type of interest </p><p class="">"I love you too." Paul whined out, breath hitching as John moved one hand down to grab at his waist, thumb brushing against his hipbones whilst he had picked up his speed when the confines of his orgasm began to sneak up on him.</p><p class="">"God Paul," John shakingly moaned out, stopping when the sensation got too overwhelming for him, making Paul smile and bite down on his bottom lip from the pride that swelled in his chest a little bit. "Fuck baby you feel so good around me." He breathed, continuing to grind his dick into him after a couple of seconds had passed in which he gathered himself.</p><p class="">Squeezing John's ass in his hand, Paul had whispered in a trembling voice, something so vulgar for him to say to John. "That because I was made for you Johnny." </p><p class="">That declaration was what pushed John over the fucking edge, triggering a literal dam of his cum to flood inside of Paul's ass, plus an erratic two or three thrusts to punch it all out as the older moaned desperately into the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Paul gasped lightly at the feeling of being filled, already feeling some of it drip down onto the sheets and it made him flustered in the peaceful afterglow of his own orgasm. "Shit, shit," John groaned in a heavy voice, wanton, and needy as the waves came crashing into him and fucking <em>hard</em>. Paul only made it better by clenching around him on cue, making the older trap him against the bed in a death grip that made a smirk form on Paul's face. "Shit." John had sighed again, his hips slowing down, resting against Paul's sore bum as the younger casually suckled on his shoulder with his eyes closed. </p><p class="">"If I was a girl that would definitely be a baby." Paul had mumbled in his ear, making John laugh aloud as he clutched the shorter male flush against his body. "No I'm serious, you came so much. I'd probably get pregnant right at this second." He giggled, tracing his fingers into the soft skin. "You're trembling Johnny." </p><p class="">"I'm alright." John had told him, pulling away to stare into Paul's gorgeous eyes. "Fuck, that was so good. You were so good baby." He said breathlessly, still trembling from that intense orgasm that had possessed him. If not seeing Paul for three days makes this happen then holy shit. </p><p class="">Paul blushed, "You sound so pretty." He replied, making John crumble from embrassment at the idea of him making any noises. Paul noticed the pale faced expression and pouted. "I'm serious, you sounded so cute a few seconds ago, it lets me know that I'm pleasuring you good."</p><p class="">John only grew more flustered. "You were the one that made the prettiest sounds. I never heard you like that before, it was so adorable." </p><p class="">"Eating grapes does that to you I guess." Paul had giggled while John rolled his eyes playfully. Gently, he attempted to push John off of him, too weak to fully do it but John got the hint and rolled off of him, causing a river of his liquid to stream out of the younger's butt once he had pulled out of him. "Ew, it's everywhere. Oh my God." Paul had recoiled and whined out, raising his shaking legs as his soaked hole clenched at nothing but air.  </p><p class="">John rolled his eyes at the complaint, sitting up on his elbow with his head tilted to the side innocently. "That's what you wanted. It'd be messier if I pulled out." </p><p class="">Paul had dragged himself to the end of the bed, placing his feet down onto the floor and rising up on his sore legs that were still trembling from the extertion. "Come and take a shower with me so we could go Lennon, plus you got to help me squeeze all of this shit out. I can barely walk." He ordered cutely, walking with spread and shaky legs towards the door of John's room.</p><p class="">"That's so gross, just sit on a toilet and do it." John groaned, grasping at a dry pillow by his side and covering his face with it. </p><p class="">"You literally ate me out, but when it comes to you having to help me get your cum out of my ass, it's suddenly a problem?" Paul questioned, "You did it last time."</p><p class="">"Fine, fine. I'll finger it out, come here." </p><p class="">Paul gaped at him in disbelief and flushed, to be honest he was actually considering being fingered until he came to his senses and shook his head. The younger man continued to exit the bedroom, calling out John's name in a sing-song voice for him to follow or else. John sighed with a fond smile, clambering out of the bed and picking up the breakfast tray along with the forgotten bowl of grapes to take out of his room as well. The sound of Frank Sinatra's ballads still faintly playing as the sex scented room became left alone without it's occupants. </p><p class=""><em>TBC</em>.</p><p class=""> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. epilogue.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Paul has one last one on one with his father.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>December. </b>
</p><p>"I'll be back dad!" Jack nochalantly said, already trickling down the steps with the sound of the door coming to a close behind him before his father could even respond. With his thin coat hugged tight around him, and his hands shoved in his pockets, he slogged down the sidewalk with his light green eyes looking ahead at nothing in particular. Sometimes they glanced down, observing the design of his tennis shoes since he was too poor to afford an actual pair of branded shoes. Where he was going was not important, just paying a visit to his friends house. They had plans to go bike riding to the park, try and make a fire by rubbing sticks together incorrectly.</p><p>However, it was cold.</p><p>Jack had looked up from the ground, shivered and hummed in displeasure from the chills racking his body unceremoniously. "Should've worn a bigger coat." He muttered to himself, shivering again and pausing to remove his hands from his pockets to blow hot air into his freezing palms. Shit. What had scared him, flustered his face red and caused his eyes to widen into saucers was the sight of fucking Victoria Lennon standing not too far away from him. Little ways ahead of him. The girl had her mittened hands in her pocket, light red hair blowing flawlessly in the cool wind, she seemed to be staring at something or someone. All Jack knew was that he had this ongoing crush on her, and it was killing him to turn around to run away at the moment.</p><p>Then he'd get called sissy by his friends for doing that. So Jack had just gulped, and straightened up his posture, continuing to his stroll towards the pretty girl. Victoria had a small smile on her face, seemingly quiet with a slight sway in her form, so when Jack had approached her quietly, accidentally stepping on a leaf - it was not shocking how she gasped and covered her mouth with her mitten hand. "Victoria? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized, flushing in the face as he automatically threw his hands up in defense. "I was just- I was about to walk to my friends home, but I seen you and.. I wanted to ask what were you doing here?"</p><p>Victoria stared at him, looking defensive before relaxing her face and pursing her lips. "The sun is peeking through the clouds. It looks like heaven." She said softly, eyeing Jack a little bit before removing her gaze back towards the sunshower erecting at the other end of England, it was still viewable despite all of the houses blocking the actual view of it. Jack followed her gaze, and it was indeed a beautiful sight. The glares of the sun showering the area, peeking through the clouds in glorious rays. It made something unnamable rush through Jack's body as he stared longingly at the view.  "What are you doing out here Jack?" Victoria asked, her eyes still on the pretty image in front of them. "Isn't it cold?"</p><p>Jack's breath caught in his throat, cutting his eyes over to Victoria as he shifted nervously. "Oh, It is? I only feel a little bit cold. It's not super cold out here or anything." He shrugged, trying to be cool and collected even though his teeth had chattered a bit after saying what he said.</p><p>"Well," Victoria turned to him, and narrowed her eyes in disbelief. "If you could take the cold, then you should race me."</p><p>"What?" Jack's eyes widened, "You want to race?"</p><p>"You're one of the fastest in the school, are you? So race me. All the way to my mother's house which is a few blocks down anyway." Victoria snarkily said, clasping her mitten hands together to rub them together as she smiled evilly, the huffs of her breath reflecting from the cold fall slightly-almost going into winter air. Jack had blinked, feeling lost and dizzy with a crimson blush that had knocked him sideways while the girl had laughed manically.</p><p>"And if I win?" Jack croaked, eyebrows furrowing. "What do I get in return?" He asked, the question being genuine despite Victoria squeezing her red cheeks together while turning around so that her back was turned against Jack, invisible hearts flowing in circles around her as she murmured a shy: "Oh my, Jack!"</p><p>"Seriously." Jack huffed, taking a step forward when Victoria whirled around.</p><p>"I'll do whatever you suggest." Victoria had said, clearing her throat and crossing her arms, shifting her weight to one leg as she raised a brow up at the boy.</p><p>Jack had gulped again, but he was confident when he mustered up a hard toned: "Kiss me."</p><p>"Aht, aht. I can not accept that." Victoria held up a finger, smirking unapologetically. "I can not just kiss you Jack, I have a boyfriend already." Jack's had literally heart ripped apart as soon as those words rolled off of her lips, his face paling up and a flare of jealousy igniting inside of him when he tried to decipher what was said to him.</p><p>"Who?" Jack had gritted out with chattering teeth, his voice sounding hoarse and upset.</p><p>- <b>October</b>.</p><p>"Paul!"</p><p>Paul braced himself, setting his suitcase down, and wrapped his arms around George to hold onto him as the two men stumbled onto the floor from the suddeness of that strong hug. The two of them fell onto the floor in front of John, rolling around on the floor as they laughed and squeezed each other as if they hadn't met again in years. Walking away from them quietly, grasping at the green suitcase, John had made his way out of the entrance way to go and put the suitcase up into Paul's bedroom. Or should he say, their bedroom for now on. John was on a fucking trip with that thought, feeling positively looney about the idea as he trudged his way upstairs.</p><p>George stood up with Paul's hands clasped in his, a glistening smile on his face as Paul stood up with him, feeling unbalanced but still elated to see his best friend. "Look at you! You look so different, more happy in ways. What did you do over there in Ireland?" He exclaimed, ruffling Paul's hair as the older laughed and shied away from the affectionate touch.</p><p>"I just - gosh, I feel so good. I got a lot of things off of my chest and out of my conciense. I feel like a new man." Paul admitted, letting George grab at his hand and drag him upstairs to follow John even though the auburn haired man was far ahead of them, already unpacking Paul's stuff wordlessly in the bedroom. "What was the rush on getting me home so quickly? Is there something you guys are trying to show me?" The raven haired man had asked, looking around the home as if it weren't his own. It felt good to be here again, feeling new. Paul had briefly thought about putting up some decorations, stop leaving the walls a plain and depressing mess.</p><p>He always planned to put up some portraits, but whenever he'd go shopping for some type of decorations there'd be a calling of what would his father think of it. As a kid, he remembered doing something and always going to his dad, surprisingly more than his mother, whenever he wanted to know the rating of things. Sometimes his dad would shrug and give small comments like 'Is that how you like that?' or 'You can find the same thing in a different color' whenever he did not totally agree with whatever Paul wanted. Usually too scared to disagree, Paul would find something that would give him comments like 'Nice choice' or 'Hm' and then go on with his day.</p><p>Paul had let George pull him upstairs, squeezing at the younger's hand as the two of them began to walk down a long hallway. "Shh, be quiet." George had smiled widely, looking back at the cutely curious look on Paul's face, he walked towards the last door of the room and dragged a questioning Paul with him. "John was supposed to show you, but I'm your soulmate so I thought I should show you." He added, wrapping his fingers around the doorknob and twisting it while pushing it open at the same time, walking inside of the room with Paul following behind him. A little anxious at everything since surprises weren't exactly his strong suit.</p><p>When his eyes landed on his little brother sleeping dreamily in his bed, and the sight of an empty suitcase which had also been his brother's, Paul could not believe it. "What - Michael's here, oh my God, Michael's here. What is he doing here? Is he-" He hyperventilated as George began to laugh, turning to the older who clasp at his cheeks and bring their foreheads together.</p><p>"Paul you got him. You did it. Michael is yours. That's the surprise."</p><p>Paul couldn't believe it.</p><p>"Damnit George, I was going to tell him." John had grunted from behind them, making the both of them whirl around to look at the oldest. "And why are you two so close? Don't you have Rings?" He asked, grasping at his boyfriend's arm and pulling him close while pouting his lips.</p><p>"Shut up John."</p><p>Paul blinked, slipped away from John's grasp and stepping inside of the room, he looked around again before rushing to the drawer to open it, seeing Michael's clothes all folded up neatly inside. Then he looked onto the top of the drawer, his eyes meeting all of Michael's toys and nicknacks that made his chest grow heavy. John and George watched proudly with crossed arms as Paul continued to scuffle around, trying to confrim his beliefs, everything seemed real, too good to be real actually. "Oh my God." Paul whispered under his breath, looking over at John and George with widened eyes as if he was in some type of dream. John smiled cheesily at him, and the youngest of the two only threw up a heart finger at him.</p><p>Soon enough John was almost tumbling onto the floor when Paul had threw himself passionately onto him, George had gasped and laughed quietly into his hands as John held onto the younger to balance the both of them. "Woah!" John yelped, choking a bit as Paul tightened his arms around his neck. "Baby, baby, you're choking me. Calm down."</p><p>"I love you <em>so</em> fucking much." Paul had said, his voice muffled and wet sounding in the cloth of John's sweatshirt, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. <em>God</em>, thank you so much." He repeated, squeezing John again but more briefly this time so that John would not have to grapple for air from his over excitement.</p><p>George teared up a bit from the pride that had swelled when it dawned on him how far him and Paul had come, smiling and looking down at the floor while Paul had kissed all over John's face, making the older crumble under the affectionate touches. John laughed, heaving Paul away and looking deeply into the glistening hazel colored eyes. "I told you that I was going to get it done. Didn't I tell you baby? Didn't I tell you?" He questioned, smiling as he grasped at the side of Paul's face to caress his soft cheek in his palm, Paul nodded his head feeling embarrassingly emotional while John had just kissed his forehead while giggling. "Aren't you happy baby?" John murmured against his skin, smiling when he heard the sound of Paul laugh, sniffling as well.</p><p>"This is fucking crazy." Paul had whispered with the a trembling voice, his hands shaking from the sheer joy that was gracing his body. Soon enough there was a warm feeling on his back and he felt the presence of George joining in on their embrace, the younger's arms wrapping around his waist as John had wrapped his arms around the both of them. Paul eventually cried a little bit, and George did too, John the hard faced brat he is didn't let a tear shed out of his eyes. However, he did get a little teary when he seen the salty liquid run down Paul's cheeks because God knows how sad he gets when he sees his younger boyfriend cry. If it doesn't involve sex however.</p><p>"It's what you wanted, right?" John had asked through the sounds of sniffling that came from the two younger men. "You know I was never going to let you down." He continued, brushing his fingers into the scalps of their hair as the two of them continued to cry.</p><p>George knew firsthand how much this had meant to Paul, how the raven haired man would literally sacrifice himself to be in this postition back when he couldn't be, could not even imagine himself in. George remembered sticking with the older since their childhood, nursing his wounds nervously and healing his battle scars, having the two of them being up in the middle of the night after Paul would climb up his window, wounded and gasping with each movement he would have to make. George putting some aloe on Paul's black eye and the cuts that would happen under his eye, or anywhere on his skin. Paul would be sitting on his bed while George treated the blood pouring from his nose, looking absolutely dazed, and barely concious while he would murmur: "I'm sorry for waking you up."</p><p>George would pause, breath hitching as Paul would place a cold hand on his wrist, moving George's hand away from his face as he lowered his head. "You should go back to sleep, I'll go home. I promise that I will be fine." He said, moving his aching legs off of the bed and stumbling a bit before George had leapt out to grasp at him before Paul would have fallen.</p><p>"No." George clutched onto him, his voice small and afraid, just like his stature. "He'll kill you."</p><p>Paul inhaled, mumbling. "So fucking what?" That had made George extremely scared for him, it made him cry quietly as he held onto his injured friend. They were only kids and Paul was actually considering something so drastic, so life threatening to go back to his fucking father. Jim was still mad about whatever the fuck, and it was not a good idea to have Paul around him while he was puffing out literal smoke out of his ears.</p><p>"Don't say that, Paul please. Come back and sit down."</p><p>Paul grasped George's arms, silently peeling them off of him. "I have to go back to Michael anyways." He said quietly, looking ahead, one eye being brused. George sniffed, wiping his eyes as Paul limped his way towards the door to leave. It was one of those bad times where Paul would be so despondent to a point where he would not listen, and as bad as it would sound, it would honestly shock George to see the boy alive with his brother the next day. Going on a walk with his mother and looking over to see Paul sitting alone, staring creepily detached into the distance while Jim was on the phone with little Michael on his lap. George would strain his ears to hear whenever Jim and Paul would interact with each other.</p><p>"You should go and feed the ducks Paul. Staring off like you're fucked in the head or something." Jim told him, making Michael look at him from the aggressive emphasis on the 'fuck' that he spat out. Paul had parted his lips to breathe and he blinked his eyes, his hands fidgeting nervously, turning his head towards his father to look him in the eyes.</p><p>"Seagulls. They're not ducks dad, they're called seagulls."</p><p>In present time, George had never felt so relieved for Paul, finding it incredibly powerful of how far the older had came.</p><p>— <b>Present</b>.</p><p>"Ready? Set!" Victoria got into a running stance, right next to a trembling Jack who was both nervous and mentally done already with this whole mess. However it was agreed upon him and Victoria that if he wins, he gets to kiss her on the cheek which was good enough for him at least. Victoria never stated what she'd do if she wins, and it kind of scared Jack to death since he didn't even know why the idea of racing someone in this freezing cold weather could summon up some type of consequence that was birthing in Victoria's mind. Jack was thinking too much, so much that he didn't even hear Victoria yell: "Go!" And soon enough she was off, probably ten feet ahead of him already.</p><p>Jack launched, sprinting to top speed, while the whip of the cold sliced at his face. The sounds of his tennis shoes hitting the pavement made him lean forward and move faster, panting through his mouth as his eyes stayed glued onto the wavy red hair of the girl running in front of him. Just as he was beginning to catch up, Victoria had suddenly did a sharp turn to the left, throwing Jack off and making him pause his sprinting to watch as the girl pitter-pattered away elsewhere. For a minute, he stood there, panting and looking around in confusion. "What the hell?" He mumbled to himself, shivering again before twisting his head around to look through a gap in a pair of houses a couple of blocks ahead, seeing Victoria cross over and across the street way ahead of him.</p><p>Shortcut.</p><p>Jack was sputtering like a ruined motor, zooming down the street at an attempt to catch up with Victoria. There was no reason why she should be <em>this</em> fucking fast, holy shit. Soon enough, Jack was going to blackout from the lack of oxygen, not even caring whether he lost or not; he stopped running and doubled over, his hands on his knees as he panted. "Shit," He breathed, clutching onto his kneecaps as he haunched over and tried to capture his breath.</p><p>"Some runner." Victoria's voice made his legs buckle, the boy suddenly collapsing on his knees as he noted pathetically. "God, you're out of shape aren't you?"</p><p>"What?" Jack had asked, his voice sounding breathless while he lifted his head up to see the girl standing over him, hands on her hips, pretty face flushed with a sheen of sweat. "I'm just - I-" He shivered and hugged himself, closing his eyes tightly as embarrassment washed over him when the girl began to giggle from the sight before her. Victoria found Jack silly, lying to her to be cool and all. That wasn't her type of crowd to be around. She's a smart little girl.</p><p>"Cold?" She finished his sentence, smirking and eyeing the kid as he trembled into the ground. Jack nodded his head shyly, and Victoria had only laughed even more. "Oh, I thought you weren't cold. How funny." She said, grasping at her mittens and pulling them off of her small hands, tossing them unkindly towards Jack. "Wear these before your hands fall off, and you better not say any stupid shit like they're girly. I will play jump rope with your intestines.</p><p>Jack's breath hitched, cheeks bruising in a blush as he grappled at the mittens and quickly put them on his shaking hands. "Thank you. And I'm sorry. I was cold.. I mean I <em>am</em> cold. I just really like you and I didn't want to seem like a complainer about the weather." He confessed, telling the whole truth as he looked away from the girl who was staring at him unreadably. Victoria stuck her quickly cold hands into her pockets, narrowing her eyes at the boy again as if he stole the mittens from her other than her giving them to him.</p><p>"What does complaining about the weather have to do with you liking me? Boys are such idiots. That's why Paul is the only boy I like." Victoria giggled, blushing as she thought about the man until she realized something, the smile on her face fading. "Oh fuck I'm late! Okay, bye Jack, I'll see you later!" She began to run, and Jack was beginning to panic.</p><p>"What about your mittens?" Jack had asked, much more to himself as he watched wordlessly as the young girl jogged away, most likely to bleed out the rest of the supposed race towards her mother's house. Jack looked back down at the light pink mittens, and he couldn't help but to sigh at how fast they warmed his hands up, maybe it was thermal. That wouldn't make sense though - thermal mittens were incredibly expensive. Only the wealthy could go and get some warmers like those! So how in the hell.</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Is Victoria rich? What is going on here?</p><p>----</p><p>"What happened to your mittens?" John asked, twisting in his chair to face his little sister, rubbing his little sister's hand in his two palms to warm them up sufficiently. "Did you lose them? Your hands are freezing." He laughed, while Victoria had only blushed and twisted around side to side, shyly on the heels of her feet. Julia slapped her hand on the dinner table and raised up in the chair she was sitting in, pointing an accusing finger at her which startled both of the Lennon's. "Paul bought you those mittens and you lost them! It goes to show that you don't really love him!" She yelled, glaring at Victoria as if she just got betrayed. John had laughed and pulled Victoria into a warm hug, rubbing at her arms to create friction and warm her up.</p><p>"Shut up Jules." Victoria rolled her eyes, scrunching her nose up as she hugged onto her brother. "I gave my mittens to Jack, you know him. The boy that won't stop staring at me in class."</p><p>John frowned, brotherly protectiveness washing over him as he cocked his head to the side. "You gave your mittens that Paul bought you to some kid? You can't do that Victoria, you could have gotten sick all because of some boy?" He asked, sighing at the way his little sister scoffed and pushed at his chest so that John could move away, giving her enough space to overdramatically cross her arms over her chest. Noticing the pout coming on her face, John's expression softening. "You know what? I'm not going to give you a life lesson about this, alright? When Paul comes back, you tell him."</p><p>Julia shook her head, cheek in her palm as John stood up off of the chair, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he walked out of the dining room. Passing by his step-father or sister guardian, whatever the fuck - John had threw on his coat and went outside into the backyard. It was beginning to snow a little bit, and he hoped that Paul would be back soon enough, to be honest he was feeling worried about the younger man. Sure enough he'd come back fine, hopefully that wouldn't be a problem. In the meantime, John had Mimi on the phone which was pressed up against his ear, evenly breathing in the crsip air of the freezing December cold. "Hello? Yeah, hi Mimi. It's me John." He spoke, moving his hand out to collect the snowflakes into his palm, watching as they melt softly into his skin.</p><p>"John! Oh, I've been wondering how things are going. Since you're living with Paul now, are you still nervous?" She had gently questioned, voice sounding warm and welcoming which made John's nerves calm themselves. Right now she was knitting, a small kitten that Paul had gifted to her for christmas laid on her lap, surprisingly not too interested in the yarn much to the stereotype that cats are hooked on anything that involved a ball of yarn.</p><p>"Everything is fine, and I'm not nervous anymore." John had chuckled, staring down at his shoes as his body shivered a little bit from the whip of cold shaking him up. "Paul is visiting his father." He said after a few seconds, his voice going low as he began to look around. "In um prison."</p><p>"Oh, really? How is that going?"</p><p>How was it going?</p><p>Paul had swallowed and looked behind him, watching the security leave the dark room, heading into the back. The door was parted open a little bit, and he was glad that it was since there was no telling if he was about to get plummeted again. Paul had sighed and pulled the chair out from under the plain squared table with round edges, taking a seat on the chair, he forced himself to relax when the sound of something buzzing along with shackles echoing in the room began to fill the room. In came a bulky police officer pulling Jim in by a tight grip of the old man's forearm, the sight of an all orange prison jumpsuit had blinded Paul with relief for a little bit.</p><p>Jim was forced down into the chair by the heavy hand of the officer, his eyes staring directly at the table in front of him, not wanting to meet his son's gaze at all. The handcuffs were slicing into his wrist as the officer forced both of his hands onto the table, giving Jim a stern look before nodding his head at Paul who just quietly nodded back. Jim had blinked slowly, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of the handcuffs and the pint up aggression against his son beginning to bottle up. The feeling only grew worse when the officer had left out of the room from the same entry way that he had bought Jim in, the sound of the door slamming closed with a long buzz and click effect made both of the McCartney's flinch in their seats.</p><p>They were alone.</p><p>Jim gathered a breath, and Paul looked at him with expectant eyes. "I hate you." The man had spat, "You and your fucking boyfriend ruined my fucking life. How could you do this to me?" He hissed, leaning against the table so that his chest was pressed against, he knew he couldn't get close to Paul and it was making him more aggressive. "If I had the chance to go back and tell Mary to get rid of you while she was still pregnant, I would with <em>no</em> hesitation. You make me sick."</p><p>Paul had nonchalantly drew circles into the table, feeling unmoved by the hurtful words. "Still as sad as ever, huh dad? This may be the last time you see me and you want those words to be your last?" He asked, voice soft and casual, it was pissing Jim off to a point the elder's face was being tinted a scary red. Jim's eyes were pinned directly on Paul, a murderous look in his glare as he just stared at the man with his jaw clenched, skimming over the smooth skin. Jim wanted to cut him. Jim wanted to stab him repeatedly. Burn him. Mary always commented on how soft Paul's skin had been ever since he was a child, that innocent compliment made Jim acknowledge the red handprint he put on Paul's backside when he was eleven. Mary had screamed when she found the bruise and attempted to punch Jim in the face, fighting him while Paul was suffocating on his own tears.</p><p>Jim felt a hotflash, "They came in my hospital room and dragged me out of the bed. Put me in handcuffs, stuffed me into the police car." He began, describing the morning when he was abducted from his hospital room and arrested to be taken to prison. The thought of Paul's hands being all over this printing out in his head. God he never felt so angry at this boy. "Couldn't even call my lawyer, and then suddenly I get word that my fucking child is with you? What do you want me to say to you other than I hope you fucking die."</p><p>"Wow." Paul had laughed, "You hope that I die? That's rather too much, isn't it?"</p><p>"No. I want you to suffer first actually." Jim spat, correcting himself and clenching his hands into tight fist, fingernails impaling his skin. "And then you have the audacity to come here, after throwing my life away like this. I bet you came just to rub it all in my face."</p><p>Paul shook his head, making Jim frown, resorting to tapping his fingers against the table instead of drawing circles. "No, I actually came to bid you farewell. Kind of what I was doing in the hospital before you almost broke my fucking jaw." He explained, his voice being even and steady despite the rush of annoyance and anxiousness at the idea of death being promised onto him. "If that's how you feel then dad, I should leave already and have you rot here for most likely the rest of your pathetic life. I want to ask you one thing though."</p><p>Jim was deathly silent, glaring at the table.</p><p>"Did you ever regret hurting me? When you seen me bleeding, passed out, close to unconciousness or whatever. Was there any remorse?" Paul had cautiously questioned, his eyebrows furrowing as he asked this question carefully, making sure his words were right with no hint of shakiness. "Me being scared of you, feeling nauseous whenever you entered the room, you making me have seizures for the rest of my life from the amount of times you struck my head. Is there any bit of humanity left in you.. to have <em>any</em> remorse of what you did to me for years." Paul had carefully continued, staring at his dad bravely as the elder man continued to watch the table like a preying tiger who spotted their meal.</p><p>Jim's breath hitched and he looked up, the glare in his eyes gone and replaced with something distantly familiar. Also tears. Paul didn't care for them, his face was deadpanned but his eyes were demanding for some type of answer to erect form his father. Paul <em>needed</em> to know. It was going to drive him insane if he did not get a truthful answer to this question, and this would be the only chance he could get for it. Did Jim feel any remorse though? Jim was suddenly struck, flashbacks plaguing him. Third person to the vivid images that flashed through his head of what he had did, of what he had said and did to his son. As his eyes stared into Paul's, the images only grew even worse in his mind. The remembrance of everything horrific that had happened up to Paul leaving to move into a home of his own.</p><p>Jim choking Paul for his own good one time, the boy grasping at his arm and scratching deep scars into it as his face turned into different colors. "Daddy, I- I can't breathe." Had echoed into Jim's head, the light voice filled with panic and fear as his breaths became labored. Paul was <em>six years old </em>pleading for his life until Jim had dropped him on the floor, stomping ruthlessly at his backside afterwards as the child screamed out in pain.</p><p>Jim's handcuffs rattled against the table as more images passed through his head, one being so horrible it made him whimper aloud as Paul continued to wait for an answer. The boy being so ill this one time, Mary pouring all over him all day had sent Jim into a spiral of rage, he was requested to give eight year old Paul a bath since the boy was too ill to even move around. Jim himself was taken back when he noticed that he was intentionally holding the child down in the bath, water filling his lungs to a point where Paul's limbs were flinging in the bath water and he was screaming out in a hoarse voice for Jim to stop as water flooded his nose, mouth, his ears. Mary took her and Paul away from their home for two weeks after she found out about the attempted drowning that unfolded. Jim had gotten word that they stayed at a hotel</p><p>God, he pushed that memory to the back of his head. It seemed as if everyone did. Paul was clambering onto him, clinging onto the expensive suit Jim was wearing, his little body trembling violently and wanting to get out of the water despite it being his father who tried to drown him in the first place. The handcuffs rattled even more against the table as he panted out a terrified, "Yes. Yes. I- I regret everything. God I-" Jim felt as if he couldn't breathe, departing fresh out of the ocean. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."</p><p>Paul hummed, "At least you're aware, you're not a one-hundred percent monster then. I do remember the good times too you know." He said, pressing his fingers down onto the table as Jim cried softly with his head down. "Too bad they're overshadowed by all the bad times." Paul stood up in the chair, and sighed in disappointment while removing himself from the table to push the chair in. "I loved you dad. Just as much as I love mom. Mom loved you as well, she was just scared of you. We were eachother's peace outlets because of you. That's why we stuck with each other so much."</p><p>Jim furrowed her eyebrows, looking up at his son with red and tear-filled eyes with quivering lips. "Paul.." He sniffed, throat clogging up. "I'm <em>so</em> sorry." He whispered, hands trembling agains tthe table and the handcuffs, hiccuping as the realization of what he had done dawned on him for once. Paul's health issues, his epilepsy, Michael's fear of being around him too long, Mary's stressing from the abuse to the point of the last minute notice of deadly cancer spreading throughout her body and killing her eventually, was all tied back to him. Fuck.</p><p>Paul exhaled, and smiled a little at his father. "No you aren't. You said that you hope I die not too long ago." He said gently, making a strained sound of pain come from Jim, the elder immediately wanting to take back those words. "Like I said, at least you're aware. Goodbye dad." Paul continued before turning around to leave the room, the sounds of Jim crying building up as the guilt became too suffocating for him to handle.</p><p>"Paul! James! Come back!" Jim cried out, cauterwalling as he stood up and began to race after his son, security immediately stopping him. Jim had yelled out through his tears as his arms and waist were grabbed, the sounds of his calls echoing through the foyer that Paul was being guided through. "Please! I'm sorry! Paul! Son! Come back, please!"</p><p>•</p><p>"How was it?" Michael had asked when Paul had picked him up, both of them ready to leave and go to the park to meet up with John and his sisters. The plan was to go see a movie tonight, not the Incredibles or the second Incredible. It was a new movie that was mostly action that had came out earlier that week. Paul helped Michael into the car, a gentle look on his face that his brother seemed to be comfortable with. Paul looked strangely at peace, so in peace that he didn't even hear Michael speak. "Paul, how was it?" The boy repeated, furrowing his brows as he got into the carseat since he was not above the age. </p><p>"It was.. really interesting." Paul replied, a soft laugh in his voice as he buckled Michael in. "He apologized for everything, but who knows what it really means." </p><p>Michael shrugged, "We'll never know what goes on inside his head. I'm just glad that we're finally together Paulie." He said, smiling wide and affectionately at his older brother. Paul paused and dissected the events that transpired over the past few weeks, how it had all led up to this. Fucking finally. Shit he felt so elated, relieved and happy about everything. Blinking himself back into realitly, Paul had moved down to kiss gently at Michael's forehead before hugging him tightly which made the boy hug him back almost automatically. "I love you kid."</p><p>"I love you too." Michael murmured, squeezing Paul gently. </p><p>Soon enough Paul had pulled away and ruffled Michael's hair before closing the door, heading over towards the drivers seat, opening the door to get in. "Any song suggestions while we're off to the Lennons?" He asked, buckling his seatbelt and cranking the car up. Michael had sat in the back, thinking with his finger dilligently placed on his temple as if it was a hard mathematic question to mentally examine.</p><p>Suddenly an answer had popped into their heads simultaneously. "Watermelon Sugar!" They yelled out in unison before breaking out into shared laughter. Michael throwing his hands up in the air as he chanted an excited 'yay' as Paul had grasped at his phone, and put the song on immediately, turning it up on full volume as he began to pull off to drive into the street. </p><p>'<em>I'm just thinking out loud.</em></p><p>
  <em>I don't know if I could ever go without.. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Watermelon sugar high.' </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AHHH!! thank you sooo much for sticking around throughout this ... oneshot turned story :)<br/>excuse the errors in this chap, i was in a rush &amp; i passed my own deadline.<br/>but wow ummm...<br/>i hope you liked this story.</p>
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